Are yall liking this? well either way i love writing this one, so ill keep posting it
:)~Elisheva~
The thing with Nick 10
The thing with Nick is, he's completely unpredictable.
It's the tiny touches during interviews, and the sneaky ways he is able to touch me during video shoots. He thinks I don't notice the fingers that remain on my sleeve for a just a moment too long and the "accidental" bumps as we push our way through crowded hallways. He thinks I don't care about how he will go out clubbing with me even when is dead tired, just so he can look at my grinding hips and dream of pleasurable things. I notice, how could I not? The lust clouded looks his sea blue eyes convey when my hips brush up against another's I even see the tiny tinges of jealousy when AJ puts his hands on my hips and holds me close. I see Nick turn away from us and stare into his drink. For some reason, I take comfort in the jealousy.
AJ's hands roam my body. I know what he wants. Because I want it too. As unbelievable as my own thoughts are, I want it, I need it. I need to feel his nails scrape down my back, I need to feel him thrust in and out of my body as my come seeps between the skin that separates us. I need to cry out at the end of the orgasm as he whispers 'I love you,' in my ear.
Three beers and two rides around the block in the limo later, I cry. But there are no I love you's whispered in my ear.
" I'm sorry." Is all I hear. And for the first time, it is his tears that cloud my vision.
" Don't be, we both did this."
" No, Howie, you didn't want this."
" Of course I did, what makes you think otherwise."
" Because now I know it's truly over between us."
"Alex, what the fuck are you talking about? We just had an amazing fuck."
" Howie-."
" What? Look, if this is about Nick, I don't know what we are. He says these things, but I'm not ready to trust again, or love again, and I don't know-."
" I know."
" You know what?"
" Howie, us, we, we never made sense."
" We did in the beginning didn't we?"
" No, even then you wanted to be in a safe relationship, so I tried to give you that mentality. But you broke through, the real Howie began to show and I couldn't hold in who the real Alex was. I ignored the feelings I had for you, and because I was scared of wanting that safety, I did everything in my power to drive you into what I had, not safe, not love."
" Alex, you don't-."
" I do, Jesus! I do, and if someone doesn't knock some sense into you you're gonna lose the best thing that will ever enter your life."
" Nick isn't-."
" Here?"
" What?"
" Howie, I love you. I always have and I probably always will. I slept with Nick, I saw you, funny thing is, he did too. But, Howie, tonight, as I saw you, you saw Nick."
" Alex, you're drunk and I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about."
" Nick! You called out Nick as we fucked, made love, had sex! Any way you put it, you called out his name, you love him. You trust him, you want him. You want him."
" No, AJ, I-."
I felt his lips on my forehead as he opened the limo door and walked into the hotel.
I felt the tears of unheard I love you's wash over my face in a heated sob.
I felt the buzz of my phone in my jacket.
I heard tears, not unlike my own.
The thing with Nick is, when he cries, I cry too.