The Truth of Yesterday

Josh Aterovis is the author of Bleeding Hearts (ISBN: 1930928688) and the upcoming Reap the Whirlwind (Coming in 2003), published by Renaissance Alliance Publishing Inc.

Visit Black Sheep Productions for more information: Official Site of the Killian Kendall Mystery Series http://www.steliko.com/bleedinghearts

The Truth of Yesterday

Chapter 16

I sat alone at Micah's favorite diner, anxiously waiting for him to arrive. I'd managed to snag a corner booth so at least we'd have some measure of privacy when we had the conversation I'd been rehearsing over and over in my head. I was early; we'd agreed to meet here at five, but I'd been such a nervous wreck that I'd left work well before the appointed time.

I waited, playing out what I planned to say, while mutilating sugar packet after sugar packet. Novak's advice had set me off on a path of self-examination that had ended up at some very clear decisions on my part, but I was worried about how Micah would react. I don't know why I'd chosen the diner for our meeting since we didn't have the best memories of this place. The last time we'd been here Micah had broken up with me.

I destroyed the last sugar packet and was about to move on to the Sweet-n-Low when Micah slid into the seat across from me.

"Hey," he said easily. He was wearing a dark blue collared pullover with jeans. He looked a bit rumpled, his hair was mussed up a little, but he somehow looked better than ever.

"Hi," I answered softly.

"How did things go yesterday?" he asked.

"Ok," I said, "but I need to talk to you about something else first, if that's ok."

Something flickered through his eyes, but it was gone too quickly for me to read. I fought a sigh as I wondered what the point in having all these Gifts was if it didn't help me out when I really needed to know what was going on right across the table from me. Before I could say a word, a waitress appeared at the table. I tried not to grit my teeth. We placed orders although I wasn't at all sure I'd be able to eat, and she left us alone.

"Novak said something this morning that really got me thinking about us," I began. "He told me to let go of the unimportant things and hold on to the things that matter." I took a deep breath. "I realized as I thought about that, that you matter to me and I don't want to lose you."

Micah opened his mouth to respond, but I held up a hand to stop him. "Please, just let me finish," I said quickly. "I've been rehearsing this all afternoon and if I don't say everything now I might never say it." He nodded and I continued. "I know I reacted very badly when I found out about your past. I could make a lot of excuses-it caught me by surprise, I found out in a rotten way-but the truth is I overreacted. Who am I to judge your past? I have no right to do that. Even if it isn't what I would have chosen, it's just not my place. I've never even been in the same situation so I don't know what I would have done. The important thing is that I love you. I love who you are, and who you are is a direct result of your past, so how can I have a problem with it? I've loved being with you these last few months, and that morning in DC when we made love, I've never been so happy or felt so right. I don't want to lose you. I...I guess what I'm saying is that I hope you can forgive me for how I've acted and we can start over. I would understand if..."

"Can I talk yet?" Micah interrupted, catching me by surprise.

I nodded mutely.

"There's nothing to forgive," he said gently. "The way you found out was crappy. I should have told you sooner. You needed time to process everything and you got it. Now you're ready to move on and that's just what we'll do, move on...together. There's no need to start over. So we both come with baggage, doesn't everyone these days? The important thing is that we love each other and we want to be together."

I breathed a huge sigh of relief and felt a grin slowly spread across my face. An answering grin lit up Micah's face. "I was afraid you were going to tell me to go jump in a lake," he said.

"Not a chance, Mr. Gerber," I said. "You're stuck with me."

"Suits me just fine, Mr. Kendall. So now that we've got that settled, what happened yesterday?"

I quickly took him through my conversations with Tad, Razi, and Sabrina, and my search of Paul's apartment. "So now what we need to know is how to get in touch with his family and with Neal," I finished up. "Can you help me?"

"I can maybe help you get in touch with Neal," he said thoughtfully, "but I have no idea how to find his family. I never met them and he rarely talked about them. The safe confuses me. He never had one when I lived with him. There wasn't a lock on the closet door either."

"He had plenty of time to buy one after you left," I pointed out. "In fact, it looked to me as if he'd added the lock recently. If I had to make a guess I'd say he added it within the last couple months, probably whenever he started becoming secretive with Razi and Sabrina."

"I wish we knew what was in it."

"We'll know soon enough. Chris' dad is going to get the police to take it and open it and then he'll find out what's in it."

"How convenient."

"Tell me about it. It makes everything so much easier."

"Ok, so now you need to know how to find Neal."

"Right."

The waitress brought us our sandwiches at that moment and we took a minute to take a bite. "I don't think I have his number any more," Micah said after he swallowed. "I didn't save much of the stuff from my life then, I wanted to make a fresh start here."

I must have looked disappointed because he smiled and went on, "I didn't say I couldn't get it though."

"How?"

"Well, it might take another trip to Michelangelo's."

My mouth was full, but I raised an eyebrow in query.

"I didn't stay in touch with anyone who worked for Neal, but if they're still in the DC area the best place to run into them would be Michelangelo's."

"Razi said most guys don't stay with an agency for very long, that Paul was an exception to the rule."

"He was right about that at least, but even if they don't work for Neal anymore, they might know how to get in touch with him. That's the best I can come up with right now. I never knew his last name and I never even met him in person."

"How soon can we go?"

"Well, I can't go right away, I have to get my story finished pronto, or my editor is going to start giving birth to cattle. There's always a big crowd at the club on Halloween weekend, we could go that night."

"Oh!" I exclaimed. "I'd almost forgotten. I have tickets to the AIDS Benefit Ball for Halloween night."

"You what?"

"I have tickets for the Ball."

"How in God's name did you get them? Those things are almost impossible to get a hold of."

"Novak got them for me. It's for another case I'm working on."

"Another case?"

I realized that I'd never told him I was investigating Jake for Judy. I explained to him about Judy's request and how I'd found his ticket to the ball in his room. "So, you wanna go to the ball with me? You can be my Prince Charming."

"Does that make you Cinderella?" I stuck my tongue out at him and he laughed. "Of course I'll go. You think I'd pass up the chance to see you in a ball gown?"

"You're too funny. Actually, we do have to dress up though. Novak said tuxedos and a mask."

"Let me take care of it. I might be able to get the paper to swing for the tux rentals. They ought to be thrilled to death that one of their reporters is actually attending this thing."

"They don't have anyone attending?" I asked in surprise.

"Not that I know of, which gives me another leg up on old Walters," he said with a smirk.

Walters was one of the older reporters at the paper Micah worked for. He'd been with the paper forever and he resented the younger reporters like Micah. They'd been at each other's throats for some time now and Micah relished every chance he got to up-stage the older man.

"So when can we go to the club?"

"Um, how about this weekend?"

I thought a moment, but couldn't think of anything that would interfere with that plan. "Sounds good to me," I told him. "The sooner I can talk to Neal the better. Can you tell me anything about the agency itself?"

"Like what?"

"Well, like how does it work? And how long have they been around? Isn't this kind of thing illegal?"

"Technically it is illegal, but they operate pretty much underground. I don't know how Neil works everything, but imagine there's some sort of cover business that he uses to launder the money. The way it worked for me is I was approached by someone who worked for the agency. They call it recruitment. He thought I might be interested so he took a risk and mentioned it. Like I said, I never met Neil personally. I don't know if anyone else has or not. I would only talk to him on the phone. When he had a job for me, I would usually get a call or a page from Neil. I mailed him the payment minus my share if it was cash, and he mailed me my share if it was charged."

"You took credit cards?" I asked incredulously. For some reason that simply amazed me.

"Yeah. Anyway, the agency has been around for about five years I guess, but it has a good reputation as a safe and reliable service."

"It's like another world," I said.

"It is in a way."

"How many guys work for the agency?"

"When I worked there he had a bout eight guys most of the time. Sometimes a couple more but never less."

"What was Neal like?"

"He seemed nice enough on the phone. He never got mad if you couldn't make an appointment as long as you had a valid excuse. He was a little controlling, maybe. He wanted to be able to contact you at all times. You were never supposed to turn your pager off and you had to call him back within half an hour of his page."

"Or what?"

"I don't think he ever did anything physical. The first time you'd get yelled at. The second time he'd dock your pay. If it happened too often, he'd stop using you altogether."

"Couldn't they just go out on their own?"

"Yeah, and like Razi said, most guys do eventually anyway if they intend to stay in the business."

"How did Neal get into the business in the first place? I can't imagine it's the kind of thing you grow up wanting to do. What do you want to be when you grow up, little boy? I want to be a pimp!"

Micah laughed. "He's not exactly a pimp. Well, I guess he is in a way, but sex isn't necessarily the only thing people want from an escort. But to answer your question, if what I was told is true, Neil retired from a very successful dot.com business just before everything went bust. He made out like a champ while his former colleagues took the dive with the rest of the Internet. I guess he got bored with retirement and voila, he decided to open an agency."

"Just like that?"

"I think he used an agency and thought he could do a better job running one, or something like that. Maybe he worked for one when he was younger."

"How old is he?"

"I don't really know. I just meant younger in general."

We ate in silence while I thought about all that. "What are you doing tonight?" I asked after a few minutes.

He made a face. "I have to work. The story."

"Oh yeah, I forgot."

"Wish I could. Besides, I figured you'd be going to the gay/straight thing on campus."

"Another thing I'd forgotten all about," I said. "I seem to be forgetting everything lately. I'd better start writing things down."

"Get one of those electronic organizers."

"I'm not that busy. I think I will go to Haven though, now that you mention it. I enjoyed it last week. Was it just last week? So much has happened since then."

"I'm glad you're going. I think it's good for you to have more friends."

I gave him a curious look. "What do you mean?"

"Just that I think you tend to get a little caught up in your work sometimes and maybe you need to spend more time just hanging out."

"You really think I get too caught up in my job?"

"You are only 18, Killian. You should be partying and having fun, not spending all your time following cheating husbands."

"I have fun!" I protested. "We go dancing and..." I couldn't think of anything else that I did just for fun. "I have fun," I finished lamely. "I'm really not a party person."

Micah tried not to smile but his twitching lips gave him away. "Well, all I'm saying is it never hurts to have more friends."

I shrugged. "They seemed nice."

"Then why are you arguing with me?"

"I wasn't."

He grinned.

"Ok, maybe I was a little. I think I'm just getting a little tired of everyone always telling me what to do with my life, even when they're right."

"Who else is telling you what to do?"

"Just about every living person I know, plus a few who aren't."

"Huh?"

"Long story."

Micah glanced at his watch. "I have another half hour before I really need to go. What's going on?"

I tried to decide where to start. Micah knew about Amalie, he'd been present for most of what happened with her that last time, so he knew I had what Judy called Gifts. We'd even talked about me being sensitive to supernatural things. Still, we'd never gone into much detail and I wasn't sure how he'd take it all.

I decided that it was better to just get it all out in the open now. I'd learned my lesson about keeping secrets in a relationship. I quickly filled him in on everything that had been happening and my decision to seek some sort of training, if there was such a thing.

Micah sat quietly for a minute after I had finished. My stomach knotted up as I waited for him to say something.

"I think it's good that you're getting some sort of training," he said at last. "You need to at least understand what's going on so you aren't so freaked out."

"You mean you aren't freaked out?"

"Not really. I mean I was there for Amalie, remember?"

"Yeah, but..."

"If seeing dead people didn't freak me out, why would this? Give me a little credit."

I sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry. It's just that I've had such a hard time dealing with all this, I just figure everyone else will too."

"Not everyone has as hard a time accepting new things as you do, Kill."

"You think I have a hard time accepting new things?" I was a little offended. His only answer was a raised eyebrow. "Do I?" I asked again, almost to myself.

He smiled and patted my hand. The waitress brought the check over and Micah grabbed it before I could.

"This'll be on me," he said as he pulled out his wallet. He left the money with the check and stood up. "I have to get back to work now, but I'll call you tonight, ok?"

I nodded and smiled up at him. I was glad things were back to normal between us, or at least as normal as anything ever got with me. He smiled back and then suddenly leaned down and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. I felt my eyes fly open wide and I looked quickly around to see if anyone was watching us. It was the first time he'd ever kissed me in a public place. A waitress at the counter was smiling in our direction. When her eye caught mine, she winked and turned away. I felt a blush creep up my face.

I looked back to Micah to find him grinning down at me. "You going to survive that?" he asked playfully.

I nodded and giggled a little.

"Good. Get used to it. I'm tired of sneaking around like we're doing something dirty." With that, he turned and walked briskly out of the diner.

I giggled again, feeling like a school girl on her first date. I pulled myself together and started to follow him out.

"You've got a cute one there, Hun," the waitress said with another wink as I passed her. "Better hang on to him."

I blushed all the way to my car.

The Haven meeting was uneventful that night. The meeting went pretty much like the first one I had attended and the same bunch stayed after again. We chatted for a while and then the group broke up and everyone went their separate ways. Noah didn't ignore me, but he didn't go out of his way to talk to me either. I wasn't sure of I was relieved about that or disappointed. Even though I had patched things up with Micah, there was no denying that I was still attracted to Noah.

I came home once again to an empty house. I was beginning to think everyone else had moved out and forgotten to tell me. It had been a couple days since I'd even seen Adam or Steve. Micah called me later that night as he'd promised and we talked about nothing in general. It was a nice change of pace. I was still on the phone with him when I heard someone knocking at the front door. I said goodbye to Micah and hurried down the stairs. I peeked through the side window at was surprised to see Judy standing in the yellow glow cast by the bug light on the porch.

I opened the door. "Judy, what are you doing here?"

"I came to get you."

My heart leaped into my throat. "What's wrong?" I demanded.

"Don't panic. Nothing is seriously wrong, at least nothing that hasn't been going on for some time now. Steve called me a little while ago; Amalie is on the prowl again. This time apparently she woke up a couple who was staying there. Their screaming brought the whole place running and all but one couple checked out."

"Oh, my God. Wait, why are you here for me?" I had a sinking feeling that I knew exactly why she was here for me.

"It's time to start your training," she said.

"What? Now?" I felt my body tense up.

"No time like the present."

"But I don't know anything yet."

"Haven't you ever heard of learning by doing? Besides, what do you need to know how to do? You've seen Amalie before, you've even talked to her."

"She didn't answer back."

"Not verbally, but she did take us to the basement where we found her baby."

"I'm not ready for this."

"Yes, you are. And more importantly, Steve needs you. So does Adam. She's been getting worse and worse, they've hardly slept the last two nights."

I sighed and my body slowly released some of the tension as I gave in. "What will I have to do?"

"Talk to her again. Try to find out what's wrong. We have to get her to stop."

"Why can't you just have an exorcism?"

"Steve doesn't want to; he wants to lay her to rest somehow."

"What if we can't?"

"Then we'll deal with it some other way. Are you coming or are you going to stand there and argue all night?"

"I'm coming, but I don't like this at all."

"I'm not asking you to like it."

We drove to the bed and breakfast in almost complete silence. As Judy pulled into the drive, her headlights washed across the beautifully painted sign that Adam had surprised Steve with just before the grand opening. It was hand-carved and painted; a large oval about three feet across with a picture of the house on one side with the creek running across the bottom and the name Amalie's House above that. It occurred to me how appropriate that name was. Even though she'd been dead for almost a century and a half, it was still without a doubt her house.

Judy parked in front of the front door since guests weren't exactly an issue at this point. Steve and Adam looked surprised when I reluctantly followed Judy through the front door.

"Killian!" Steve exclaimed.

"I'm glad you came," Adam said with a tired smile.

They both looked much older than they had ever looked before. They were haggard and worn with dark circles under their eyes. Suddenly I realized how selfish I was being by not wanting to come. After all that Adam had done for me, how could I not do this for him? I felt deeply ashamed and almost burst into tears.

"What do you want me to do?" I said, turning to Judy. I read approval in her eyes.

"We're going to try and contact her," she said.

"And do what?" Adam asked.

"I want Killian to ask her why she is here now that the baby is gone. I'm hoping she'll communicate in some way."

"And if she doesn't?" Steve asked.

"Are you still opposed to an exorcism?"

He sighed. "Not as opposed as I was before tonight, but if we can find some other way..."

"I'll try," I said, sounding more confident than I felt. "How are we going to do this? In the cupola like before?"

"It's as good a place as any," Judy responded.

"Can we come?" someone asked from the stairs, causing us all to jump and turn towards the voice. A man and a woman stood on the stairs. They looked to be in their early to mid-thirties, fit and lean. They looked enough alike that they could have been siblings, but the way she had her hand resting on his shoulder seemed more intimate than a sister and brother. They both had short brown hair and dark eyes, and I thought they were roughly the same height, although it was a little hard to tell since she was standing on a higher step than he was.

"I'd forgotten you were still here," Adam said in a surprised voice.

"We're Alan and Carla Moss," he said as they walked down the rest of the stairs to join our little group in the foyer. "I guess you could call us ghost hunters. A friend of ours had heard that the house was haunted and we came as soon as we could both get off work. We were really excited when we heard about the sighting tonight, but disappointed it wasn't us that the entity appeared to."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Were these people for real? I looked around at everyone else and judging by Adam and Steve's expressions, they at least must have been having the same thoughts.

"Well, I guess that explains why you didn't join the exodus when the others left," Adam said dryly.

"I appreciate your interest," Judy said, "but I don't think it would be a good idea for you to come with us."

"Why not?" the man asked, disappointment written clearly on his face.

"First off, you might not be sensitives; have you ever seen a ghost?"

The couple looked at each other. "Well, no," the woman admitted after a moment.

"Amalie is unpredictable. She might not want to perform for an audience and we really need to make contact with her right away."

"Why the rush," the man said with a frown. "You're not going to get rid of her are you?"

"She's not exactly good for business," Adam drawled.

"Hey, we're here," the wife said.

"But no one else is."

"I'm sorry, but it would be best if you just returned to your room. Maybe she'll feel like dropping by for a visit later tonight."

The couple didn't look happy, but they turned and went back upstairs.

"Weirdoes," Adam muttered under his breath.

"Are you ready?" Judy asked me.

"As I'll ever be," I responded.

"Then let's go."

"You're doing this for Adam and Steve. You're doing this for Adam and Steve. You're doing this..." I chanted to myself as I trailed along behind her as she started up the stairs. I was not looking forward to a reunion with Amalie.