The Wedding Part 3
Nikkie Silk
Life went back to what passed for normal after my trip to the wedding. Caroline's latest man dumped her when he found out about Naomi, and what worries me is that one of these losers will stick around for a while and become an influence on Naomi. Does that make me a bad sister or a good aunt?
Sophie and her partner planned to open a second spa, and out of the blue she asked me if I would be interested in managing it. I was enormously flattered and told her I would, on the condition we offer a service for trans girls as well. She liked the idea as long as we could keep it discreet. She didn't mean it badly, but it's the kind of thinking that drives me crazy. I told her it makes me feel as if we have to be hidden away somewhere. She said that wasn't what she meant, but she would have to talk it over with her partner and let me know. Put it this way, I wouldn't hold my breath.
Mother had begun to worry me. She spent more and more time at the church and I became concerned at the amount of influence they had on her. I tried to talk to her but it was like trying to communicate with a pre-programmed robot.
A week later Sophie asked to talk to me, so I met her at the spa after work and we sat down with a glass of wine. She had discussed the idea of a service for trans girls with her partner, but they felt it wouldn't work as a shared service with the new spa. I opened my mouth, and she held up her hand for me to shut up. One day she said, I would learn to jump in with a pause. I smiled, but what she said next floored me. They thought it was such a good idea they would be prepared to go into it with me as a stand alone business if I could raise some money to put into it.
I was speechless. Never in my wildest dreams had I thought about doing something like this. I asked her if she was serious and said, yes why not? My head was whirling, but I immediately began thinking about what we could offer. Sophie laughed as she watched my face and she said the first thing is to do some research to assess demand, then we would need a build a business plan to see if it would be profitable. My sister the businesswoman, who would have guessed? She asked if I would be interested and I squealed and hugged her. She laughed, that's a yes then? We drank more wine, and I headed off home with my mind buzzing with ideas.
It's strange how life can get complicated very quickly. The day after my conversation with Sophie, I had a call from a headhunter offering me a job at a rival department store with better pay and benefits than my current one. It would be a great opportunity for me, but coming so close on the heels of Sophie's offer, it threw me into a spin. I loved the idea of doing something on my own, but the security of the new job was so tempting. God, I needed someone to help me sort this out. It obviously couldn't be Sophie, Caroline would be worse than useless, and my mother was out of the question. There was one person who I knew who would be great, but I couldn't possibly call Marcus, or could I?
It took two days of arguing with myself to decide whether I should call him or not. He had given me his number, so he didn't mind if I called. The hesitation was all on my side. Did I want to go there? There was a fierce battle raging between my head and my heart. My head was saying it would be a good idea and my heart was ringing alarm bells. I must have picked up my phone and put it down again twenty times before I summoned up the nerve to dial the number.
My heart was pounding as I heard the call connect and then the ringing tone. My courage failed, and I was about to ring off just as he answered, Hello, Marcus Flood speaking. Oh my God, what should I say? My mind went blank. Hello? He said again. I finally managed to croak, Marcus, it's Sammy.
Hang on a minute, he said. The line went quiet, and I thought he'd hung up. A few seconds later, he came on again saying sorry he had been in a meeting. We chatted a little before he came right out and asked if we could meet as he had to get back to his meeting. I swallowed, then said yes, I'd like that. We agreed to have a drink the day after next. He seemed happy as he signed off with a see you, can't wait. It was that easy. I hung up, completely unsure of what I had just done.
The next two days dragged past. I was tense with excitement and dread at what I was to do. Half the time, of course, I worried about what to wear. I went through my wardrobe three times, trying on different looks before going back to the black dress I had picked out first. I matched it with black heels, naturally, and a short black leather biker jacket. Chic but classy, I hoped. I immediately changed my mind three times before coming back to it. I got back from work, changed, put my hair into a ponytail and sat on the bed, wondering what the hell I was doing. I took a deep breath, tried to clear my mind and walked out the door before I could stop myself.
I arrived early. I am always early; I can't help it, I am terrified of being late for something, so I overcompensate and get there far too early. I grabbed a table as the bar was getting busy and ordered a glass of wine. I was so nervous my hands were trembling slightly as I held the glass. I half hoped he wouldn't turn up when I felt the lightest touch on my shoulder, and I looked up to see him smiling down at me. I stood up, almost knocking over my glass in my nervousness and he kissed me on the cheek. I could smell his cologne, light, fresh and slightly feminine.
He looked good, a tight white shirt under a pale blue linen jacket and tight jeans. He ordered a bottle of wine and sat down opposite me. It was so good to see me again, he said. Our wine arrived, and he filled both our glasses so we could say cheers as we clinked glasses. I told him that he and Terrence looked so good together. They had met at a party a couple of years earlier and they had decided to get married only a few months ago. They were hoping to adopt a child at some stage as both of them wanted a family.
He asked how my family was, and I told him about Caroline and mother, and finally I talked about Sophie. His face dropped when I mentioned her name and he said he had been truly sorry about what had happened back then. He thought he had been bi-sexual, but when he met this boy, he felt he was gay for certain and he couldn't pretend to Sophie any more; it wasn't fair to her. His face was a picture when I told him Sophie was now living with a woman. He didn't know whether to laugh or look serious and I let him off the hook by laughing at him. It wasn't you, I said, it was the string of bastards she used to hang around with who turned her off men. You were so different from them, in more ways than one, I giggled. He had finished his degree and was working as community liaison for, of all people, the police. I had to laugh at the irony, remembering our conversations back then about how useless the police were.
After we talked about everyone else, he asked me how I had got on after he and Sophie split up. I told him that I had gone to the LGBT group and counselling and it had been the saving of me. I owed him a huge debt of gratitude because of what he had done for me. He shook his head and said I owed him nothing; he had only given me the names. It had been me that done the hard graft. I held up my glass and said thank you anyway. He grinned and clinked his glass against mine.
It seemed incredible, but we had finished our bottle already. I looked at the time and we had been talking for well over an hour. Marcus asked if we should share another bottle and I shook my head, maybe a glass, I said. I didn't want to end up drunk tonight of all nights. He went off to order, and I watched him as he walked to the bar. Tall and well built, his black skin glowing under the lights, hair cut close to his scalp, he had almost a dancer's grace in the way he walked. He was the most beautiful man I have ever seen. I smiled as several women followed him with their eyes on his way back, and I felt a thrill knowing they would see him sit down with me.
I couldn't believe how easy it was to talk to him. I had shed all my nerves, and it was just like the old days. A laugh was never far away from Marcus and it seemed I was constantly smiling as we talked. He suddenly said that his biggest regret was not being able to see me again after the breakup. Maybe because I had already drunk too much, but without thinking I asked him why. He looked straight at me and said because he had liked coming to see me. A bell started ringing in my mind and I knew I should be careful what I said next. I looked at him over the edge of the glass and said softly I had missed his visits too. They had meant so much to me; it had been hard to take at the time.
A silence followed which neither of us wanted to break. He blinked and looked away, and when he looked back, he said that he had been so surprised to see me at the wedding and for a split second he had thought it was Sophie who had turned up. I said that was like the last thing he had said to me before he left the house all those years ago. He nodded, He remembered. He remembered every second of that evening, how Naomi had stuck her fingers in his mouth, and how beautiful he thought I had looked. I blushed scarlet at his words, and I felt tears pricking the corners of my eyes.
Please don't cry he said, and he touched my hand and I felt as if I had touched a live wire. Shit, this wasn't going right, I thought. I wiped my eyes and said there was something I needed his advice on. He took his hand away and I immediately wished he had left it there. I talked about Sophie's offer and the new job and how I couldn't make up my mind which one would be right for me. He sat back and thought for a second or so before asking me what did I want to do. I want to run the trans girl service, I said, but it isn't that easy.
Why not? was the instant reply. I'm scared, I said, that's the real reason, scared of swapping security for risk. He grinned at me, like you did when you decided you were really a girl? Not fair, I replied, it's different. Not from where I sit, he countered. You wanted something that you felt was right and you went and did it, very beautifully too. I felt another tingle at his words. He pressed on, do you feel this is the right thing to do? I nodded and said, yes, for dozens of reasons. Well do it, never die wondering what if, he said.
Anyway, I said, I don't think it's going to happen because I have no chance of raising the money. Have you tried, he asked, looking thoughtful. No, but who's going to lend me money for a stupid business like this?
Sammy, you don't know until you try. Marcus glanced at his watch and said he had to go, Terrence would be home soon. He said it in a way which made me think he hadn't told Terrence he was meeting me tonight. We walked to the door together where he hugged me and said he hoped he had helped and that we could see each other again soon. He leant down to give me a kiss on the cheek when someone bumped me from behind; I jolted forwards and our lips met. We both pulled back in surprise, Marcus looked at me, turned on his heels and walked away without a word.
I stood there, my cheeks burning in embarrassment. What was that all about? Everything had gone well until that moment. I felt I had screwed up somehow, but I didn't have a clue as to how.. I called a cab even though I lived only a couple of miles away. I didn't like to walk home on my own, it's too dangerous for a single girl to be out late at night, especially a single trans girl. Too many of us have been attacked for any of us to feel safe on our own.
As I walked into the house, my phone beeped. It was a single word text message from Marcus - Sorry.
Sorry for what, I thought. The kiss? Or walking away without saying a word? Or meeting me? What the hell did he mean?
I was in a foul mood and exploded at my mother when she said something about the way I was dressed. She responded with something about my life being wasted and we had a screaming row. I have to get out of this madhouse I thought. I slept badly; the anger from the fight with my mother and the effect of meeting Marcus keeping me from sleep. I must have fallen asleep eventually because I woke feeling awful. Dragging myself from my bed I found a text from the headhunter asking for an answer about the job. Taking a couple of painkillers and two cups of black coffee to wake myself up, I went to work. On the bus, I thought about what Marcus had said, take the risk, go for it. All well and good for him to say, he's not taking the risk, I am. I decided to take the new job; it was the sensible decision. I texted the headhunter and confirmed I would take the job. I felt better immediately; it had been the right thing to do.
It was a busy day and I didn't have a chance to look at my phone until my lunch break. I had a message from Sophie saying mother had been complaining to her about me. Did I want her to do anything? Shoot my mother was the first thing which came to mind. There were also three texts from Marcus, asking me to call him. I hesitated with my finger over the call button, what was this about? After last night, did I really want to talk to him again? Of course, I pressed the button, heard the ringing tone and it went straight to voicemail. I left a message and hung up; sensible me hoping he wouldn't call back, crazy me thinking about the kiss last night. A few minutes later the phone rang and I could see it was Marcus. I accepted the call, and he said he hadn't got much time, but he had found someone who might put up money for my idea. Could we meet tonight to discuss it?
Shit, what do I do? It wouldn't affect my decision, but I was intrigued, how had he found someone that quickly. OK, I said, where? He mentioned another bar in town and we agreed to meet at eight. I was OK with this; I had made my decision and surely no harm could come from meeting him. I dressed down this time, a pair of tight jeans which I knew made my bum look good, ankle boots and a man's white shirt under a linen jacket and I left my hair loose.
I was there early, you will be surprised to learn. I bought a bottle this time and Marcus turned up five minutes late, looking a little flustered I thought. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and sat down. I need a drink he said. Tough day? I asked. Yeah, but you don't want to know about it. I did oddly enough, but didn't say anything. So, you found someone with money to throw away? I asked him, thinking a joke would help. He sighed, the joke didn't make him laugh. He said, In my job I get to meet all kinds of people, not just the ones causing trouble, but those who want to help as well. Believe it or not the police are trying to stop hate crimes of all kinds, including against the TG community. First I'd heard of it, I thought, but I kept that to myself.
He went on, I met a guy who wants to help the TG community, but because of his position he wants to keep his name out of it. He's not rich, but has some money to invest if the right opportunity came up. I thought of him last night when we talking and called him this morning. He would be interested, but would need to see a plan and profit projections.
I sat back, stunned by what Marcus had said. Yes, you're right, I know alarm bells should have been ringing at what he said, but all I could think of was I might be able to set up my trans girl service. Excited by the idea, I asked when can I meet him? That's the point, said Marcus, he wants to be anonymous, his position is such that it wouldn't be possible for him to be publicly involved. He's given me the authority to negotiate on his behalf up to a certain limit. Did I know how much I was looking for to put into the business?
No, I didn't. I hadn't got that far, only that I would be going half and half with Sophie. I would need to do some research and put together some projections, before knowing how much to put in. Marcus said timing is no problem, but sooner rather than later would be good. Now I was really fired up, ideas were flooding through my mind and I had forgotten my safety first decision of earlier. We agreed that I would do the work with Sophie and get back to Marcus when I knew what I needed. We clinked glasses and toasted the success of the new business. I couldn't help but wonder who this investor might be. I asked Marcus what the mystery guy wanted from the business and he said, a reasonable return on his investment but more than anything he wanted to help the TG community.
I was so excited I couldn't stop babbling about the ideas I had and Marcus laughed at my enthusiasm. I blushed and said, this is important for me, I would love for it to work. He smiled and said, I can tell. He put his hand on mine again and that feeling shot through me. I wasn't sure where this was going but I curled my fingers up and around his hand and he didn't take it away. My heart was beating so hard, I thought he might hear it. Everything else faded into the background and all I could see were my fingers around his hand. God, this was wrong. I knew it, but I didn't want it to stop. I slowly brought my eyes up to his, and he was smiling at me, and my heart almost stopped.
I need some air, I said and let go of his hand, grabbed my bag and dashed outside. I leant backwards against the wall, sucking in lungfuls of air and trying to stop shaking. Marcus followed me out of the bar and came and stood in front of me. He put his arms around me and hugged me, and I began to calm down a bit. I looked up at him, and he dipped his head slowly and deliberately and kissed me on the lips, this time not by accident. He pressed his lips hard against mine and I began to kiss him back, slowly at first and then harder. My arms went up around his neck and pulled him down onto my lips.
He broke the kiss and I heard him say, I have waited so long to do this, Sammy.
To be continued..
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