As the story makes plain, stage, TV and movie actor Andrew Lincoln is one of the straightest-seeming men in show business and though he has done many nude scenes on TV would never do what he has to perform here to please his improbable sleazeball agent. I know nothing of the actor or his agent but that doesn't stop me fantasising.
The first time Noel Raymond clapped eyes on Andrew Lincoln, he knew he had to have him any way he could, though he played the scene ultra-cool. Andrew's unfussy good looks and stocky frame pleased him. Even his mouth, which unkind commentators disparaged by referring to his 'liver lips', excited him.He loved his big but slimline nose too. His eyes and curly brown hair added to the pleasing look of his head and his body thrilled him, its potential still hidden in his loose sweater and tan trousers. He had to wait for those few moments when Andrew bent over to pick up one of his documents to see the outline of his meaty buttocks. The wait was worthwhile.
None of this, though a great beginning, would have meant much if he had not been the straighest actor Noel had ever encountered. There was not even a hint of the secretly, closeted gay about him, nothing too artistic or refined to get in the way of that crashing normality that he represented. This thrilled Raymond, Though he was one of the biggest theatrical agents around, and had resisted the head-hunting tribe that ran the amalgamated agencies, he was genuinely surprised that Andrew had sought him out precisely because he was so ultra-straight. Noel Raymond had a reputation - a well-deserved one - for being a jaded old queen, bitchy of tongue and haughty of demeanour. He had always had a very strong leaning towards the challenge that unimpeachably straight guys represented. He would have taken him on for nothing but he played the game of humming and hawing and enjoyed watching little beads of sweat form on the young actor's unshaved upper lip. He had no doubt heard of the success he had won for some other of his charges. These never changed agents once their careers had taken off. No doubt he was thought to be a catch for hopefuls but not nearly as great a catch as the gorgeously out-of-reach Lincoln seemed to him on that first meeting.
He was still called Andy Clutterbuck at this point. Though Noel liked the last syllable and thought privately of obscene variations on that surname, Andrew ended up with a two-syllable city name which also would have resonance for the American market if he became known there. His campaign to strip, embarrass and humiliate him every chance that came his way without thereby impeding his upward path began immediately.
He made sure that there was plenty of undressing and public exhibitions of his hairy body and smooth white arse whenever he could urge the director or writers to include a gratuitous strip scene. He got him fully naked, albeit at a distance, in This Life. In the first series of Teachers, he had one episode where he dreamed that he was being interviewed stark naked to the amusement of his fellow teachers and the school governors. How Noel sniggered to see his bare bottom in closeup, the hollows in his buttocks so appealing, and then seeing how he had to play the rest of the sequence entirely naked. He had held his hands over his cock and balls, already exposed long-distance in This Life, but his humiliation in cupping them and allowing his curly bush to spring out, the look of agitation as he ran about showing more thighs, calves, tits, belly and lots and lots of arse was not just acted, Noel felt sure. Even in the most recent TV play, at a time after Andrew had broken into movies, there was a fine display of bare bottom in the shower.
Noel wanked a lot to see what the general public was being treated to of his client's body. But the general public did not get to see the out takes that his loyal friends made sure were sent to him, exposing the genital views that Andrew could not quite mask with his hand, or the way his cheeks parted enough to show that his arse crevice was quite hairy and darkly mysterious. These views got him right off. 'Lovely, Andrew darling!', he'd sneer to himself as he shot his load over these embarrassing exposures. His plans were going well.
The first major step in his diabolical scheme to queer this unfaltering straight came when he secured the lead for him in the very homoerotic movie to be made of Christopher Marlowe's Edward II. Andrew had hardly been able to breathe with excitement when he'd heard that he had been given the title role. At last the big time, his name emblazoned in neon signs. Or so he thought.
Noel enjoyed even more the stunned silence when he had rung Andrew to tell him that he had had second thoughts about his suitability for the part and had withdrawn him from the film. What better way to get his total attention, he smirked inwardly as he beheld Andrew sitting in ill-disguised outrage on the other side of the oak table between them. The beads of sweat were once again forming on his upper lip. He was trying hard to keep his temper and not to get as theatrically loud as the biggest queens in the business.
'It just wouldn't do your career any good at all,' Noel drawled with affected boredom, as if the case was closed long ago.
'Why? Because I am playing a gay character. Loads of actors are doing that these days. It's not done any of them any harm.'
'That's because they were good in the gay parts, even the straightest ones.'
'So why couldn't I play the part?'
'Because, my dear, you are Mr SuperStraight. Every time the casting call is for a convincing hetero, you are the obvious choice. There isn't even the teensiest bit of camp in you. You'd be laughed offscreen trying to play gay. Sorry, love, but this is for your own good.'
'What makes you so sure about my private life? We've never discussed it.'
'No need to, dear. I take one look at you and I see straight straight straight. Probably from the womb. Certainly from your earliest sexual memories.'
Andrew looked quite heated with annoyance. 'I had a ...sort of thing with another teenager in school. OK, it was just feeling each other up and having a wank at his house after school. But I enjoyed it,' he ended defiantly. 'Anyhow, I may be straight, but I'm an actor and a good one. When have I ever let you down?'
'You'd let me, yourself and everybody who has ever been to bed with you down if you played this. You can tell a mile off you're not gay and never will be.'
'You didn't say that when I did the nude scenes on TV.'
'Yes, you were nude and straight - every time.'
'Well, I never was embarrassed at what I was asked to do. Somebody tells me to strip and I get naked.'
'Really?' Noel suppressed a yawn. 'I don't see you stripped then and I've been expecting you to do so since you walked in here.'
In anger, Andrew shot to his feet and the clothes began flying off, his sweater, shirt, white T-shirt, trainers, grey socks, the familiar tan trousers that Noel had mentally stripped him of so many times. No need this time. Down they came over his sturdy hairy thighs to drop in a rumpled pool at his feet. He was left in slightly greyish-white briefs that had been worn and washed a little too often. Noel was gratified to see the bulge of Andrew's softon and a few sprigs of his short and curlies poking out of the legs of his briefs. Ensuring that he had Noel's full attention Andrew made an attempt at seductive stripping, lowering them to his knees, straightening up and letting the underpants flutter down his calves to the ground.
'There you are. I know what tastes you have and I'm flashing you the works.'
'You're showing me a ruddy great softon, darling, a shrivelled frightened acorn of a prick. Hardly proves a thing.' Still he was enjoying the sight of the soft prick and the elasticated lines left on his bare body, the way his belly bulged a little too comfortably out from his waist, the hairiness and slight sag of his tits. The strip was clearly unrehearsed. And he was sweating. The tang from his damp pits and ;pubic bush delighted Noel's nostrils. 'Turn round,' he suddenly ordered.
'Sure. Nothing that you and thousands of other viewers haven't seen before.' His large beautifully shaped rump was turned towards him. Noel stared at the rotund globes for an uncomfortably long time, thinking, 'Keep this up, and you're going to get fucked, darling boy.' What he said aloud was, 'Bend over. Farther. That's it. Grab your ankles. Now hold it while I inspect you.' Though he acted blasé about the cheeks parted wide before him, Noel felt lightheaded with lust, leaning forward to study the rosy wrinkled whrols of Andrew's exposed hole and the curly hairs decorating his arse valley walls. As his nose got closer, Noel smelled washed but undeodorised bum, pure virile straight bumhole, and his senses reeled. 'OK, if you're so at ease about playing gay, tell me what you call this.'
'What?'
Noel poked a finger at the delicious rosebud in front of his eyes, then withdrew it to sniff his fingertip appreciatively, before poking it under Andrew's nose. 'It's hardly in a fit state to be rimmed, but that will come.'
'Rimmed? What's that?'
'My, we do have a lot to learn, don't we, dear? But let's not run before we can mince. Give me the names you know it by.'
'Um ... anus, ring, anal sphincter.'
'This is not a medical conference, darling.'
'OK, Hole. Arsehole. Bumhole.' A long pause. 'Shithole, I suppose.'
'How very uncouth,' Noel sneered. 'You've probably done nothing more than shit through it for your entire life. If you were really gay, you'd have had plenty of use of it as a FUCKHOLE. Get it? If you've never been fucked, then you are going to make a lousy Edward. He gets a red-hot poker up his fucker. How can you know the difference if you've never had even a warm prick shoved up it?'
'I bet I can do it.'
Settling into the trap nicely, Noel grinned out of sight. 'Off you go and treat yourself to a shower, my lovely. Pay particular attention to your hole. I want it kissing sweet for your lesson in gay love. Before you go, let's have a quick sniff at your foreskin.'
Andrew straightened up, turned round and presented his cock and balls to Noel. His cock was gratifyingly plumper, his balls fuller and bouncier. Noel rolled back the foreskin. 'My, how very manly,' he simpered. 'Stale piss and maybe a trace of dried cum. Just the way you should smell. Let me kiss you on the sweaty head before you wash this delicious whiff of man away.'
Andrew was shocked at the speed with which his cock was devoured all the way to the bush. He was going to protest but thought it would weaken his case if he did. Besides, it was a great blowjob, better by far than any girlfriend had ever done for him. He blushed to feel his cock stiffening and growing. 'My my, what virility,' Noel mocked as he leaned back to survey the now pulsating prick. 'I'm beginning to think you're queerer than you seem.' Andrew started to protest but then realised that he was turning the argument in his favour. Noel returned to guzzle some more cock, Andrew leaning back and sticking his hardon out to his tormentor.
'That's quite enough of that,' Noel said as he liberated the cock from his mouth suddenly. 'Off to the shower.'
He amused himself during Andrew's shower by picking his briefs from the floor and inhaling deeply at crotch and arse. The smell was heavenly in both areas, so sharp and pissy in the crotch, so bummy where his crack had rested. They were quite tight because so small and must have ridden up crevice and perineum when Andrew was giving them ordinary wear, never dreaming they were to be minutely inspected by the biggest pervert he knew.
He came back looking more calm and younger, less angry, than before. Just ravishing, Noel thought. So very straight and innocent. And yet so eager, as he beheld the half swollen cock which he suspected the actor had been playing with in the shower. 'Right. Up on the arms of this easy chair. Knees wide, arse facing me. Now lean back and down as if you were going to sit on a seat.'
'But there's no seat.' Andrew seemed apprehensive.
'Oh yes, there is, darling. My face.' With that, he pushed his nose into the delightful ring and followed his approving sniff with a long loving tongue-out. Andrew was trying to control himself, but his breathing became more laboured, strangled cries began to be heard from his throat. He began to wank his very stiff tool.'
'Now that is what they call a rim job, Andrew darling. Shall I stop?'
'Please don't. I - I - like it. A lot.'
Noel plunged his tongue in with renewed vigour, pausing in his assult on the wanking actor only to lap at his hairy crevice and bite hard on the manly cheeks. Andrew's eyes were closed, his tongue lolling out of his slackened mouth. Suddenly Noel grabbed the stiff cock and pulled it hard down between Andrew's thighs. He gasped in pain and to avoid damage to his sabre-like dong he had to bend even further and thrust his arse obscenely wide, higher and more exposed than before. The lips of his hole began to gape apart, Noel found as he thrust one, then two fingers, up that fuckhole of his, while he gobbled harder than before on thne uncut prick and sometimes the sensitive ballbag. His fingers thrust in and up the virgin rectum, Noel thrilling to the sensation of moist velvet from the penetrated fuck channel against his fingers.
'Oh, oh, I love it. Don't ever stop. This is what I've been missing all my life.'
Noel chose precisely that moment to cease plunging up his arsehole and swallowing his hardon whole.
Andrew blinked in surprise with a hint of annoyance returning to him. 'Look, I'm gay OK? I'm a good learner and I love what you are teaching me.'
'You're no more gay than when you were sharing a wank with that other schoolboy. No, you have a far bigger lesson to learn.'
'Go on. I'll do whatever you want,' Andrew's brown eyes seemed to plead while Noel's thoughts were fixated on his third brown eye.
'You will get fucked and like it if you're to change my mind.'
'Whatever you say.'
'No, you are only agreeing cos you want the part. You have to want to get fucked before I'll be convinced.'
'I really do want it - to be fucked, I mean. Please fuck me. I need it so badly.'
'Oh, I'm not sure.' ' 'Please,' Andrew pleaded, bending nearly double and thrusting his arsehole at his teacher.
'Well, alright, but you're going to have to fuck yourself. I'll lie back on the table when you have placed a condom on my prick, then you will do all the work while I relax.'
'Anything you say,' Andrew assented a little too eagerly.
Once Andrew had carefully and tenderly clothed Noel's twitching hardon in rubber, Noel watched him crouch over him, facing him. 'No the other way, love, so I can inspect you properly.'
He switched directions and let Noel watch him applying gunk to his exposed red hole and finger fuck himself experimentally. He then held Noel's hardon in his fingers and proceeded to stuff it slowly, inch by painful inch, up his virgin bottom. When it was all the way in, he gasped with the sensation of being stuffed full.
'Turn around to face me but keeping my cock, in your fuck channel. Any slipping out and you're back to square one.'
Andrew painstakingly swivelled round till his feet were on either side of Noel's body and then he began to bounce up and down, bravely accepting his impalement before that turned to fuck pleasure. Noel put his hands behind his head, looking almost bored as Andrew went wild, riding up the shaft and jamming hard down.
'If you're as homosexual as you seem to be now, let's have a bit of expression. You look like dead mutton shagging yourself so mechanically.'
Andrew almost fell forward, jamming his mouth on to Noel's, .letting him lick the saliva from his famous liver lips, thrusting his tongue into his mouth to be sucked dry. 'I love it, I just love it,' he sobbed, thrusting his arse all the way down the shaft. More quietly, he admitted, 'I love you for what you have done for me.'
'Let's not get carried away,' the bitchy agent remarked drily. 'I've come into the condom teat so you can climb off.'
Andrew desperately needed to come. He shoved all the fingers of his left hand up his twitching hole while he wanked in frenzy squattng in front of his tormentor's face. Noel kindly replaced Andrew's hand with his entire fist and lunged into the ravaged rectum as Andrew bucked and swore and emptied his balls into Noel's mouth and down his throat.
'You can get the part now ...'
'Wha ... what part?' Andrew seemed dazed.
'But only when you've proved you're not a one-fuck wonder. I'm asking some pals over to get use of your arse tomorrow afternoon. When they have all fucked you in turn, you may have given me proof of your change of heart.'
'Yes, sir, whatever you say, sir.'
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