There is No Love
Hey new story hope you guys enjoy it :)
Email me if you think I should continue or put you out of your misery email me at:
ryan93111@hotmail.com
There is No Love chap 1
Do you want to know the truth; the truth is love is a lie. True love is nowhere to be found, it just a simple excuse for people to trick themselves into believing that they are wanted or needed. When you begin you get dragged into the lust, the appeal of something you are searching for. People who say they are in love are just giving excuses to get hurt, deep down you want to believe you found the one, the one who is your soul mate, the one who will protect and love you with their all. You know it's wrong to put all your faith in one person, but you just keep going like there is nothing else in the world. You give the person your entire heart on a silver platter, hoping that they will give theirs without a second thought. all the pretty words they tell you, is just to keep you occupied so you don't discover what they really feel, their real feelings for you. Love is something designed for that of fairytales, not something that is actually acquirable.
Love is the one thing I have ever given my all for, the one thing that I put my whole being into, only to have it shoved back in my face. I used to believe in love, used to believe I was in love, used to believe I was loved. Love, love is just a game you play with your mind. I was in love with a boy once, once I felt I was needed to keep his life in order, I don't want to cry anymore but I can't help it, it hurts, I loved him with everything only to find out every step of the way he was cheating on me, cheating on me with a number of other people but he always 'loved' me, he held my heart hostage until the truth finally came out. He played me and I fell into his trap, it wouldn't have been as bad but, one of his regulars, someone he fucked on a regular basis was my best friend since I was four. My 'Boyfriend' and my best friend, both lying to my face, and then sucking each other's face when I wasn't there, how could he, how could both of them, so much for devotion and friendship
"Honey, get up" my mother softly shook me to wake me for the day ahead, 3 weeks, 3 weeks since I found out who I was really in love with, 3 weeks and I still can't believe how stupid I was, still I cry thinking about how much pain he brought.
I think of the time not long ago, all the days we spent together, walking hand in hand and never letting go, but the whole time he was hooking up with someone new, I'll never forgive him for making all those promises that will never come true. looking in my full body mirror at my 5"9' slender frame, my brown hair, long and disheveled, covering my swelling red eyes, thinking of this made two tears slide down my high cheek bones, the highlight the shape of my emerald eyes. The two silent tears traveled down my cheeks around pink lips, finally dropping of my chin onto my developing Pecs. I just stared at the two tear stain until they dried on my tan skin; my little four packs were slowly getting less and less visible behind my paling skin. Since I found out I haven't been out into the sun much, my skin was starting to show it too. I finally tore myself away from my own horrible reflection to get dressed for school, school the one place I couldn't escape him, a constant reminder of my stupidity. at breakfast the table was quiet as usual, mom still doesn't know quite what to say to attempt making me feel better I haven't been eating nearly as much as normal, half a piece of toast is all that I have to make it to lunch, when I would be lucky to eat a whole sandwich.
"honey, I'm worried about you, you're not eating hardly enough, you don't go out and see your friends, get in the sun, you have lost your warm, summer glow, do I need to call a doctor or something?" I just shook my head from side to side looking down at the table, she was right on all accounts, but since my best friend lied to me the way he did, I wonder how many of the others knew about it just didn't bother telling me. I doubt they still want to be my friend, I haven't seen any of them since the accident, I go to the library at lunch and breaks, I eat with the librarian in her room so I won't get disturbed, she doesn't know my circumstances but she doesn't ask questions either she just talks about anything and I sit there.
"Time to leave for school, baby" my mother stood up and started to grab her things, i just silently went and grabbed my backpack and brushed my teeth, then proceeded out the front door to the car. The silent car trip had become the norm of a morning, the soft back play of the radio the only noise filling the small cabin of the car. She pulls the car into the parking lot to drop of the students. "Have a nice day and I will see you at home sweetie" she softly kissed my cheek as I exited the car. I started walking towards the entrance of the school looking down at the ground, to afraid to look at the eyes of other students. My locker was close to the library so I went and grabbed all the books I would need, closed the locker and began to walk for the library, I walked around the corner and their he was. Mike, my supposed best friend, talking and looking happy, I started to walk back around the corner but he saw me, his face dropped and he began moving toward me, I quickly turned and swiftly walked back toward the entrance, I can't talk to him, not yet probably not ever, a best friend who fucks your boyfriend and doesn't tell you "Kai! Kai stop!" he yelled toward me. No he doesn't deserve to say my name, I walked faster out the front entrance and ran around the corner, fresh silver tears starting to drop from my eyes, no I won't cry, not anymore just no. I leaned my back against the wall and slowly slid down till I was sitting on the cold cement, I shook away the tears and just sat, sat in peace waiting for the bell to ring, waiting until I had to go to homeroom, the only class I had with Mike, thank god it made avoiding him so much easier.
"Hey, the bell rang your gonna be late if you don't move it" a thick Australian accent shook me from my thoughts. I looked up to a small girl with golden brown hair brushed to the side and pulled back, revealing her cute nose and dark brown eyes. "Yeah, okay" I replied standing up, she stuck out her small petite hand
"My names, Rachel, I'm new here, could you show me where the office is?" she smiled warmly showing her high cheek bones framing her small eyes, I grabbed her hand and shook it back
"I'm Kaiden, yeah I can show you" we began walking to into the front entrance, she began telling me her life story she recently moved to the states from Australia, guess that explains the tan, her dad got offered a job which was too good to pass up so, mom, dad, her and he little brother Kyle moved here, her brother must be fucking gorgeous, going off her looks there was no way he can be ugly. The whole time I just slowly walked besides her nodding my head.
"I used to play soccer back home, was pretty good at it too, if I do say so myself" smiling she was walking just a few paces behind me, I could have sworn she was checking out my ass, well I mean she was attractive but she was lacking the equipment, who knows maybe girl won't cheat on you with your best friend, maybe she was worth a shot
"So, you don't talk much ay? Are you really that shy?" she said with a warm, genuine smile that reached up to her beautiful brown eyes. The boys will go crazy for her at this school; I bet they'd all cheat on their partners for her.
"uhh... No, I have just had a rough time lately" my eyes betraying me again, they started to well with tears. No, no I will not cry, I clamped my eyes shut and shook my head to clear the unfallen tears.
"Oh... well I'm sure it will work out, I don't know much about you, but I like you so if you ever need a friend, or a shoulder to cry on, you can use mine ok" she was still smiling at me a pearly white teeth shining with the glow from the fluorescent school lights.
"Thanks" I smiled a small smile, more than I have been doing recently, she's nice but I don't think I can just open up to her, I mean I've only known her for like 5 minutes "well here's the office, have fun on your first day of school"
"Hey, thanks for this, I already have" she said with another smile. God how many smiles can one person have, I turned and began walking to homeroom; ugh this is not going though be fun. I opened the door and every student looked at me including Mike,
"Why are you late Mr. Knowles?" Mr. Patrick said in his flat voice that all teachers seem to acquire after, a couple years of teaching.
"A... Ahh new student came and she was lost, so I Ahh... helped her find where she was going" I replied not game to glance up from the white floor
shaking his head Mr. Patrick said "Take a seat then" I walked to the back of the small classroom, to an empty desk and sat down staring down at the desk thinking about things, life in general, my shit ass life, why me/ out of all people, I haven't done anything wrong, I get good grades, I'm a good kid, I used to be friends with everyone before, well before what happened now I have just shut myself off from the world. How long till the bell rings seriously, I can feel people staring at me but I'm not looking up and giving them the peace of mind of seeing me at my lowest. They'd like that too much, and I always like to be different so I guess I haven't completely lost who I was.
RINGGGGGGGG
Finally a new day of school, just get through this and you will be fine Kai.
Mike's POV
I woke up with my room in a mess, I can't believe I hurt Kaiden the way I did. I love him, I love Kai, I always have, I just thought that if maybe he would break up with his douche of a bf, I would stand a chance. That was before I slept with him then I realized he will hate me, because I was the one who slept with his boyfriend. Fuck I was so stupid, now I have lost my baby forever, fuck! Looking in my bathroom mirror, my 6" muscular frame was staring back at me, but empty, lifeless, without Kai I really just don't know what to do, I brushed my teeth and fixed my dark brown hair into its usual style of messy, but my bangs went to the right just above my eyebrows, my blue eyes staring back at me, but empty, searching for their shine again, but he will never come back to me, I fucked him over to well.
No one really knows what happened between Kai and his bf, except a couple of really close friends and me obviously. but everyone has been questioning me, being Kai's best friend they think I would know but I can't tell them, not the real reason anyway so I made up a lie, that Aaron fucked, his cousin and everyone was happy with that, our sudden break in friendship didn't go unnoticed by the social world of high school either. School the one place I can still see my Kai, he won't talk to me but I still get to see him. Before school started me and Kai's friends, well I guess just my friends now was all standing around talking the shit waiting for classes to start for the day.
"So anyone know what the fuck happened to Kaiden, I mean Aaron's gone so why is he still avoiding us?" asked Josh. Josh was 6"4, really well built, packed of muscle, blonde hair and amazing emerald eyes. He was gorgeous, but he wasn't Kai, no one will ever replace Kai
"Well, I heard that Aaron fucked Kai's cousin in the ass, and she loved it the slut!" Tyler replied. Tyler was 6" like me but not as well built more slender, his black hair was short and spiked up, his grey eyes would mesmerize anyone he was hot, but again he wasn't Kai.
"yes well I heard Aaron fucked Kai's mom and Kai walked in on them, then Kai had a threesome with them, and now does fucks his mom daily he's such a dirty little fag" Ellie said. Ellie was Josh's girlfriend of 6 month. She was tall for a girl at 5"9' with long blonde hair, and blue eyes that would kill, her body was also the envy of most other girls and the desire of most guys, trust josh to get her, lucky boy but whoever got Kai would be even luckier.
"Fuck off Ellie, he's our friend how can you talk like that" Tyler interjected fairly harshly
"Uhh... He's your friend, I hate the little fucker" she rebutted. After that heated conversation we all began talking about random things like what was on TV last night, stuff like that we were laughing and having a great time until I saw Kai. My whole face dropped. He looked like shit, his hair overgrown and untamed, his eyes red and bloodshot, even his body he looked like he has lost a fair bit of weight, his so thin, but still gorgeous in my eyes
"Excuse me" I said as I walked after him "Kai! Kai stop!" I yelled to him, but this made him speed up into a jog, then he was out the front door, no I lost him, I was scanning all the outside but couldn't see him anywhere, I need to talk to him, without him I don't know myself, without him I'm lonely. "ARGH!" I screamed in frustration, the students surrounding me staring at me, being a start football quarterback at school, gets you a lot more attention than you want sometimes. Fuck, I'll get him in homeroom hopefully.
The bell rang for homeroom and I quickly made my way their hoping to catch Kai. I took my seat and waited as the class filled up and the teacher walked through the wooden door, I began to worry that maybe Kai wasn't going to show. He never misses school this is unlike him, even after he found out about me and Aaron he came, like a little trooper. He needs his grades to stay high so he can get a scholarship to college. 5 minutes had past and I was staring down at my square desk thinking how could I have fucked up so badly, the only thing I wanted was Kai, I wanted to be with him, protect him, love him unconditionally, guess true love doesn't exist. I wanted him and I ended up pushing him as far away as I could, how I even thought my plan would work. Sleep with his boyfriend then let him find out, why did I ever think he would come running to me when I was the one that fucked his boyfriend. The door opened slowly and in he walked my gorgeous boy, he looked happier now like he had an adorable little smile on his face that I haven't seen in a very long time. Every student in the class looked up at him; it wasn't like him to be late, early if anything. He walked to his seat in the back and just stared down at the desk, he was deep in thought about something, something that wasn't a good memory judging by the look on his small face. Fuck I love that kid, his adorable without even trying.
RINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Finally today is the day, today is the day that I make Kai talk to me, I'm going to explain everything, hopefully he will understand and realize he loves me too. That's asking a lot I would be happy if we could just start talking to one another again, maybe he will realize how stupid I was and forgive me, here's to hoping
Kaiden's POV
first period of the day is always the most uneventful, half of the students were still becoming fully awake, while the others were still just asleep on the desk, not even paying attention, how could they I mean I'm smart but I still Need to keep my grades, even after all this Shit with Mike and Aaron. Aaron ugh, I swore I wasn't going to say his name again; a nameless person can't exist right? well this nameless devil haunts me, in my sleep even when I'm awake Mike is a constant reminder of what happened "Hey Kai, can I sit next to you or are we not friends anymore?" it was Tyler, god he was such a nice person. Definitely the nicest of my old group of friends, one of the hottest too, maybe I can give my all to him, doubt it he's definitely not gay, just a gentleman.
"Sure" I answered with a dismal smile. He pulled the hard, school chair out and sat down with a bounce his shirt catching on his broad shoulders, clinging around his solid mounds of Pecs.
"So, how come you have been avoiding our group? I mean I didn't think you and Ellie had that big of a hatred for each other"
God these last few weeks I had actually forgotten about the whole thing with Ellie, who would have thought spilling a bit of juice on her new top and we have world war 3 on our hands. I sighed dropping down in my chair a little "It's not Ellie, so that bitch can just get over what I did if mean it washed out and it wasn't even that much juice, more like a drop then a spill" I replied looking down at my notebook hoping the teacher will start talking, so I can avoid this topic I just can't deal with it yet, if I don't talk about it then I can just push it out of my mind, making it stop sending me insane.
"Then what happened? Come on Kai you can tell me, how long have we been friends?" I could feel him looking at me, I can just picture his grey eyes filled with caring, he was a good friend and I had known him the longest, maybe it would be alright to tell him, better start with someone right "Okay... you know Aar..."
"Okay class listen up we are starting a new chapter today, so I want your full attention that means no talking, got it?" the teacher said looking around the room of half-dead teenage zombies. Phew saved by the teacher, I just looked at Tyler and gave him a small, apologetic smile he nodded and stated "Later, at lunch"
"I said no talking Mr. Richmond" the teacher stared coldly at Tyler and he smiled and looked down at his notepad, starting to furiously take down notes on the new area we were beginning.
Period two, come on, one down only the rest of the day to go UGH! Tyler shared that class with me as well but he had to sit with his football buddies so that saved me from him interrogating me further. His Storm, grey eyes could get anything out of me, just looking into the deep pools of grey-blue would make me bow and just surrender to him. well that was uneventful I thought as the bell rang signaling the end of the period one more than lunch, lunch, when I had to talk to Tyler god please, I beg you make something happen so I don't have to talk to anyone ever again on my way to third period I felt two strong hands grasp my smaller shoulders. I turned my head to see Tyler walking behind me "Don't forget about it, Lunch today, you promise you will talk?" he smiled at me
"Uhhh.... yeah I promise" I replied weakly, I don't know if i can actually follow through on this, I mean seriously it's been 3 weeks but the pain is still their It doesn't just magically leave overnight, well 3 weeks is a long time, but you can't just forget everything that happened, everything we did together, he was my first but I definitely wasn't his I was probably his 40th and the number just kept going up while he swore how faithful he was to me. As I was deep in my own thoughts, Tyler was still keeping pace with me, not leaving my side. I don't have class with him, but he is still walking me to class, he really is a great friend "HEY! KAIDEN!" I heard a scream over the deafening drone of teenagers, an accent thick with the spirit of Australia, must be the girl from earlier, what was her name again, shit She walked up to me and hugged my small frame "So I think we both have class together now, want to be my desk buddy?" she asked still with her warm Australian smile showing her perfect white teeth.
"Uhh... yeah sure, hey this is Tyler" I said indicating to the tall, muscular man standing next to me, wondering what the hell was happening
"Hey! I'm Rachel, nice to meet you" she said her smile still hanging on her tan face, this girl was gorgeous, could I really be attracted to her I mean I'm gay, not blind, well I thought I was gay maybe I'm just going through a phase you know how straight people have their experimental phase, maybe I'm the same, either way I can't deny she was HOT!
"Nice to meet you too, I'll see you at lunch k?" Tyler began walking off looking back and winking at me. I blushed slightly at this
"Well he was hot, they breed em well up here don't they?" she said looking back to see Tyler turning the corner off to his class
"Yeah, I guess... we better get to class or were gonna be screwed" I said grabbing her wrist and walking briskly to the door entering just before the second bell rang to indicate class has started, if you are after the bell your late, detention quickly follows
"Shit mate, you walk fast" Rachel said as she ran into my back as I abruptly stopped to smile at the teacher shaking his head at the colorful language my new friend had decided to use. I quickly walked to the back of the class to my seat
"Well if it isn't the mother lover himself, you got a new play-mate, gonna have another threesome with your mom?" Ellie spat at me, the edge of her words cutting into my already damaged heart, popping the last few seems left keeping it in place.
I glared at her and then looked forward to the board and the teacher still in a conversation with Rachel at the front of the stale classroom. Rachel then walked and sat on the seat next to me "Well he sure is a friendly teacher" she said still with her white Australian smile on her beautiful face "whatever" I said not looking up from my notebook where I was writing down notes for the class, wow I never thought school could get any more boring, that was until this class the teachers voice monotonously reciting phrases and quotes drilled into his old brain, Mr. Bryant was definitely one of those teachers you would want to have a fantasy over. His old, like waaaaaaay old and has a beer gut that hangs over his belt holding his ugly grey pants up, his sloppy gray beard has small crumbs outline his mouth with coffee stains on old gray sinew, is that even possible, well obviously it was well ugly.
"So you wanna have lunch together?" a whisper from my right left came, Rachel's brown eyes hopeful with the outcome of spending lunch with me, this girl is in for a rude awakening when the rest of the student body get to her, but then if I have lunch with her I won't have to talk to Tyler. With that thought I gave my short reply "Sure" the bell rang just as the words slipped from my lips. With a new found excitement, that I won't have to tell Tyler what happened I walked out of class with my usual bounce in my step, wow these Aussie chicks a great at making you feel great. we walked together to the cafeteria, waiting in line to get our food I was nervously looking around to see if I could see any of my old friends or worse Mike, or even worse than Mike, Aaron, I haven't seen him in about a week, so out of three weeks I only had to see him for two, still the damage was done it wasn't a dream I could just awaken from, no it was real, reality sucks ass. as I turned back to see what was on the menu I felt a strong, masculine presence appear next to me, I looked up over my head to see Tyler towering over my small frame, shit, shit, shit, wait Rachel was here it will work out fine "Hope you didn't forget about our lunch date" he smiled at me his grey eyes reading into mine sending me a signal that I wasn't getting out of this
"No I remember, but Rachel is having lunch with me, so it might have to wait" I said with a small triumphant smile on my full lips.
"I don't care, she can listen or you're telling her to go away" he said with absolute control in his eyes
"Um... I am right here you know; don't just tell me to piss off" Rachel interjected easing the growing tension between me and Tyler.
"No it's cool we can All have lunch together" I said smiling to Rachel
"So you don't mind if the rest of the guys join? No? Great I'll go and get em" he said already moving off to get the other guys. FUCK! NO! That means Mike too I really don't want him near me, I think I'm going to vomit, or pass out
"Hey are you okay? You just went really pale mate" Rachel asked concern clearly stricken in her voice. No everything is not okay, my old best friend, the person that brought me all the pain, is going to just come and have lunch with me. All the color in my face was drained away with sudden hatred for the situation. I moved silently through the line and rushed off to find a table where no one would notice me, I should just go to the library, but then Rachel will just be left alone. Who cares she's friendly I'm sure she will survive. I sat down still on the hard, cold surface, pain jolting through my spine, but I didn't flinch just sat there unwavering, just staring down at my tray of food, or what they pass as food here.
Authors note: hey, hope you enjoyed the first chapter of my story; it only gets better from here, hopefully, here to hoping :)
comments, suggestions, feedback, critisism, anything email me at:
ryan93111@hotmail.com
Peace out :P