There you go..
Chap 1-New beginning or beginning of a new trouble?
There you go. I had to go inside, it's now or never. As much as scared I was to enter the club I know somewhere inside I was more than excited to finally come to the party, but this anxiety is going to kill me. I should just go ahead and get done with it.
Saturday night I am all decked up with the best clothes that I have in my Closet and ready for the party with all my group of friends, waiting outside the venue thinking to myself "ARE YOU SURE"...
Yes I have been too many parties but here the big difference is this one. This is a GAY party and it happens to be my 1st gay party. Ok it sounds like I am making such a big deal out of it but trust me it was a big deal. Getting dressed for a party was not a task but today I was taking some extra efforts because it was going to be my 1st supposedly gay party, (get used to 1st gay party am going to say that a lot). With a black a skinny jeans on and a black shirt and silver shoes to go with it. At 5'7, tanned skin, not so bad body for a 19year old I look fairly good. I have sandy brown hair that is straight. Depending on my mood sometimes I just leave it down, or sometimes I keep it messy, other days I spike it or do it in a faux hawk. I looked at myself in the mirror and certainly liked what I saw, "not bad" I am going to score tonight some for sure I thought.
"It's going to be fun, don't think so much" I heard my friend yelling from behind as he was approaching me. Waiting outside the venue nervous as hell with my best gay friend and bitching about the people entering the party was fun but I knew the better part is yet to come. Rohan, yup his name is Rohan the way too skinny guy, well not exactly that skinny but I like to exaggerate. He is the funniest guy that I know of. At his 6'0ft looking very cute was giving me descriptions about all the popular and regular guys in parties. Being a veteran to parties he knew what it all was like and how is the crowd like.
"There you go" Rohan said "you see that is slutty angel of the party. His name is Rainah but we all call him a `chink choot' because he hates it when anybody calls him that."
I could see a north Indian guy, very thin, with straight hair, his chin pierced and tight jeans and a leather jacket on and last but not the least carrying a purse.
"When he gets down from the bike he will act as if he is walking on the ramp". First I thought yes that's funny maybe he is just exaggerating but then "oh my dog" he was actually walking as if he is on the ramp, and he went through brushing between us and I couldn't stop my laughter, I thought to myself "this is fun, I can get used to this".
Just after few minutes the whole group came and suddenly I remember how I met all of these guys. They were very good friends of my last date. I was surfing on the internet on a gay dating site and came across this profile called VJ, 23year old, 6ft tall, muscular body, fair skin. I sent him a message. We had a good long chat and decided to meet up for a coffee. I was really excited to meet this guy and I took extra effort to get dressed, black shorts with a blue and white chequered full button shirt and my favourite flip flops and off I went on my bike. It was 7pm and I was waiting outside the CCD hoping that he doesn't take too long to come. Sharp at 7:00 I got a call from him that he was waiting at the other corner so I told him I will be there.
I saw him from a distance he was waiting under the tree and I thought to myself "not bad man. Not bad at all" he was tall, fair, with long straight hair falling on his forehead and good toned body. I could see he was smiling too.
"Hey. What's up" I said to him as soon as I approached him.
"Nothing much. I am Viraj by the way, but my friends call me VJ" okay now that is weird VJ, dahhh.
"I am Avi." I said after a moment "Let's go inside." And he nodded with his head and we started walking toward the Cafe.
"So Avi, what do you do?" He asked me while he held the door open for me to get inside.
"I am a student." We got a table for us and sat down. I don't know if I was imagining or something or maybe he was feeling bit weird, I tried to ignore it but I ended up asking him what exactly is happening.
"Nothing it's just that you seem very young. Are you sure you are 18?"
Okay that was kind of offensive I mean what he is calling me a kid!
"Oh man! Yes I am 18. Do I need to show you my Id proof for you to believe?" I joked. Okay that was a joke I mean I don't think he will ask me for my ID or as such, would he?
"That would do." Did he just say that? I gagged on my coffee while looking at him.
"Jezz chill I am kidding man." He said with a hand gesture to calm me down.
"Here." I said while passing him my ID. If you pick this up and actually check it then you're a fool, that's what I was thinking. And yes he did pick up. I felt as if I just lost my whole interest in this guy.
"Man I was kidding you didn't have to show me you ID card." Yeah right and I was born yesterday. You were kidding and you said this after actually checking out the id twice.
"No I just wanted to make sure." I said feeling a bit conscious.
"Let's go out for a long drive on my bike." He said getting all excited and gesturing me to get up too. And here I was sitting behind him and enjoying the long drive, it was fun talking to him he seemed bit reserved though and shy too. But that was cute part of him.
"So what do you think about me?" I asked him maybe it was too early to ask but I knew he liked me because if I was not sure I would never have asked him.
"I like you." He said still concentrating on the road while riding.
This is where I say `I told cha'. Later he was telling me all about his ex-boyfriend and how long they were together and all about him but it didn't matter to me as such so I was not concentrating
After the drive we said our goodbyes and left. On my way home I couldn't help but think about him, how did he look? Was he good? Could I have sex with him? I don't know answers to any of those questions but I know the answer to one big question, was I horny? Yes...
The next day I got a message from Viraj saying that there was a small get together at his place and all his friends are coming and he wants me to join them too. When I read the message I thought why not it would be fun so I messaged him back saying I will be there on time. I was sitting alone in my room thinking about Viraj's invitation, what exactly were his plans I wonder, did this mean he wanted to have sex with me? Why is calling me at his place? What if I am not at all interested to do anything with him? What if they are all planning on group sex? I am one confused bitch I thought to myself. Why do I have to think so much he is just calling me for dinner simple or maybe it's not that simple? All my thoughts going round and round in my mind I know I wouldn't rest until I make it at his place and see what's going on, till that time I would just have to calm down a bit and give some rest to my brain.
Later that evening it was time to get ready for going to VJ's place for the get together, so I had a shower and got ready wearing my black shorts with a black polo shirt and white flip flops I checked out myself in the mirror, I couldn't help but smile.
After around 30minutes of riding I finally reached his place. Standing outside the door I called him to come out, after few minutes he opened the door smiling at me, he was looking nice with a black V-neck t-shirt on and blue denims.
"Hey there come in." He held the door open till I entered.
"Hey, how are you? How is it going?" I could see too many faces inside the kitchen talking and laughing and having fun.
"I am good. Come I will introduce you to everyone." He said and held my hand and took me inside to introduce to everyone. As we entered the kitchen a guy was making food VJ introduced him to me as "San" he was 5'8 or something a dark complexion. While we shook hands I had this feeling he wasn't at all interested to talk to me well the feeling was mutual I would say. Then Viraj took me inside the room and I could see a guy looking into the mirror and getting ready, he must be at least 6ft tall and very thin, or should I say skinny. He had a good complexion though.
"This is Rohan." VJ said to me pointing towards him. "And Rohan this is Avi."
Rohan came forward and gave me a hug and I thought to myself how sweet is this, there was this instant connection between me and Rohan and I know I am going to get along with him great. Viraj also introduced me to other friends who were all sitting in the TV room Raj, tahaa, Arindam I said hello to all of them and then VJ took me out to show his balcony. I was too conscious about how I act or how I talk, this is the first time I have met so many gay guys at one place I was bit nervous.
Later that night we all gathered in the balcony and had food which I must say was amazing whoever made it did know how to cook. After the dinner with their continuous joke session and almost 60% percent of the jokes were on VJ's dick of long humongous it is and how inhuman it is and I couldn't laugh on any of them instead I was grossed out. In the night we played games and I faked all the laughs on their jokes and pretended that I was having fun but the truth was I was getting bugged as hell and I was already shit scared of what's going to happen in the night when Viraj tries to make out with me? I didn't have to wait for long soon it was time to sleep.
Late at night when everybody went to sleep, Viraj in the corner of the room and me sleeping besides him Rohan sleeping to my right side. There was so much of silence that I could actually hear the tick-tick of the clock and that's when Vj started kissing me, is he trying to eat me up I thought to myself I mean who kisses like an animal. We were kissing and feeling each other up for a long time and that's all that we did that night. Neither was he comfortable going any further and nor was I, it was a mutual understanding between us.
The next day I got up early in the morning and left to go back home, and on my way home I started thinking about the last night. About everything that happened and did it happen for good? Did I do the right thing by kissing him? Should we have gone further? What if we had gone further?
The whole day went in vein I couldn't even concentrate in my classes all I could think was what is exactly going on with me. What if he messages me again? Will he message me? Or he is done with me now? As the bell rang for the last lecture and I made my way to the canteen for a coffee and got my phone out to check if there were any new messages. The first one was from a friend asking where are you? And the 2nd one was from Viraj asking me if I could come over tonight. I messaged him back saying sure I would love to.
So here I was at his place sitting with Rohan and cracking silly jokes and laughing. There were some people present from the last night San and Raj. While talking to everybody VJ was trying to get very close with me which I didn't like, I did like the cuddling part but not the possessiveness and he was cuddling with me as if we were boyfriend and it totally freaked me out. After a while the bell rang and a guy entered San introduced him to all of us. His name was Shashank 5'11, good hard body smart looks with his specks on he looked quite handsome. He sat with me and Rohan and was chatting with us and he started flirting with me, I don't know if it was my defensive nature or maybe I just wanted to show Vj that we aren't boyfriends, I started flirting back with him. I felt that he was trying to touch me every chance he could get, Was I giving him some signals I thought to myself. I could see that VJ was not at all okay with whatever was going on or rather he was getting angry. Why has he become so possessive? Or is he just pissed? Maybe I am thinking too much? Wasn't it just about the physical thing between us? So many question running in my head and I had answers to none of them.
Later at night when we all were getting ready to sleep, VJ in the corner and then me and besides me Rohan and then it was Shashank.
"I will go and sleep in the terrace; it's too hot in here." Shashank said as he got up to go out and he winked at me.
What was that? Why is he going out? I couldn't help but think. After a while VJ tried to kiss me but I couldn't kiss him back I don't know why. He held me with both his hands behind me and pulled me towards him and started kissing my neck. It felt very weird I don't know why I just could get myself to do anything with him anymore.
"Wait." I said to VJ as I pulled myself away from him. "I am just not in the mood I don't know I am sorry." I could see his face getting red.
"Why what happened?" he asked getting annoyed.
"I am just not in the mood I am sorry, It's not you it's me." I lied. It was the only excuse that came in my mind. Though it's very clichéd but it does work all the time.
"Ohww." he grunted, he was not at all convinced with my answer but he just ignored it I think.
Many things going in my head, what was happening was just too weird to understand. It is going to be a long night I thought to myself. Sometime later at night VJ came near to me and whispered in my ear.
"I have feelings for you don't fuck it."
Oh boy! Did he just say that? My back was facing him so at least he couldn't see my expression or he would have seen how freaked out I was. He isn't supposed to have feelings for me, No ways. This isn't what I had in my mind. It's not going the way I have planned.
I just couldn't sleep after what VJ said to me I just couldn't sleep it went through my mind again and again. I hope the night ends early I just couldn't take this trauma.
Throughout the night VJ did not sleep, I don't know what was going in his mind but he surely was thinking about something. In the morning when I got up I got to know that Shashank had already left and it was just me, VJ and Rohan at home. As I got up and went to the washroom to freshen up and get ready to go home VJ was already standing there and looking at me as if his windpipe is chocked and he can't breathe.
"Did you kiss Shahank?" He said this while I was washing my face.
"Oh boy, whoa what do you mean?" I wasn't annoyed but I did feel bad by the way he was looking at me, that disgusting look.
"You know what we need to talk." I told him and took him inside the room holding his hand. I closed the door and made him sit.
"I can't do this." I blurted it out. "I can't keep it going with you we have to stop."
"What do you mean?" He said unsure of what I was talking about.
"This" I said by showing him by hand gesture "We, us we can't continue." I had no idea where was it all coming from but this is the right thing to do I thought to myself.
"Why all of a sudden?" I could see he face getting red and looking super pissed at me.
"It's just not going well don't you see. We can't be together."
Silence, pin drop silence that's what happened after what I said, neither did he try to say anything else, nor did I.!
"We will be friend's man! We will be in touch always." I said to him to calm him down, he looked too angry and that was a bad thing to do. He was not ready to talk to me anymore that was obvious from his expression and I thought he will be fine after some time.
"Goodbye then." I said as I got up to go home. He did not reply and it was okay with me. As I came out of the room I told the whole story to Rohan what all had happened and that we are over. As I said it I realised there was nothing between us to get over.
"You go home. I will handle him don't worry." Rohan said as he hugged me. "Just give him some time he will cool down I will explain it to him."
While going home I was thinking, did I do the right thing? Was I too mean to him? Is it my fault? Was I giving him wrong signals? Did it all happen for good? Well time will tell. As for now I was feeling good, the whole feeling of chatting with a new guy and meeting him for a date really excited me and I was looking forward. But all I needed right now is some rest, my good beauty sleep. And that's what I did when I came back home and slept to the glory.
I woke up next day early morning and had my breakfast and started surfing the net. It was Sunday morning no college and I was bored as hell so I decided let's check out some potential dates for the night so I did. I came across this profile which was interesting so I sent him a message and was waiting for his reply, I didn't have to wait much he sent me a reply in half a minute or so "Oh boy, that's quick! I hope he is not so quick in all the things" I said to myself. We exchanged a few more messages his name is Manish 5'10 cute face, fair. After talking to him for a few minutes we decided to meet up in the night at a place called `Cafe 1730! Beans and booze.'
Here I was all ready in Blue denims and a black v-neck t-shirt on I left my house. I know many people say that oh it doesn't matter how you look or what you wear, but I think the way you dress up and the way you look are the most important things when u want make the 1st impression good on anybody.
On my way to the cafe I was thinking, how will it go? Would he be any good? I hope he looks something like his pictures. What if he doesn't?
As I reached the place where we decided to meet I could see him standing outside and waiting for me.
"Hey there". He said as I approached him. "Let's go inside."
He held the door open for us to get in.
"Thanks"
We went straight to bar to get the drinks.
"Hi, so you on time." I said as we took our seats.
"I aim to please and besides I am never late when I have as cute date as you."
"Oh boy! So you have been out with many other cute guys, I thought I would be the first."
"Well you are definitely the cutest of them all."
I couldn't help but blush. He was a nice guy, we had too many things in common like movies and songs and travelling and many more. So I enjoyed it a lot. We must have been talking for a long time I didn't realise it was time for me to leave.
"It was fun talking to you, maybe ahhh we should ahm... do it again." I said.
"I would love to." He winked at me.
And I left to my home. While riding the bike I couldn't help thinking about him. He was good. I mean kind of nice, I can go along with him maybe even date? Ahhh I don't know. Is it too early to think about it? Do I like this guy? I think I do. He was good enough.
Later that evening Rohan called me up to ask me if I would want to join them all for the party a gay party.
"I am not sure man."
"It would be fun Avi don't think so much."
"I am just too scared to go, what if it's too weird for me? What if I couldn't handle?"
"You are thinking way too much, it happened with all of us when we went to our 1st gay party but u have to look over it, it would be fun."
"Yeah! Maybe you are right. I am just getting scared for no reasons."
"So we are going right."
"Yes sir." While talking to him suddenly I started thinking about VJ so I asked him how is he doing.
"He is fine. He just needed some time to think rationally. Now he is all cool."
Thank god. I hope he is all cool and still not pissed at me. This was a good thing to hear. I kept the phone and started thinking about the party.
"Don't talk much to people" Rohan said as we entered the club.
"Avi 3 very important things, don't drink much, don't share your phone number with any random guy, and don't go to the dark areas."
I felt as if these are the rules of coming to these parties, if you don't obey them you might end up in a mess. And boy did I end up in a mess and how?
I could see the whole pub was dark with only the disco lights and filled with people or should I say guys. All kind of guys' tall guys hot guys not so hot guys and whatever. It had a big revolving dance floor and everybody dancing on it. Rohan and I went directly to the bar for drinks.
"What are you going to have" Rohan asked me.
"I don't know. What are you having?" I said with bit nervousness in my voice as I was watching 2guys who were making out just besides me.
"As this is your 1st party let's start with the shots. Are you game?" he noticed what I was looking at but didn't comment.
I didn't need any of convincing and there we were having our shots. 4shots down and all into the mood, all my inhibitions were gunner and I was feeling a bit dizzy. I think it was the vodka shots not me who screamed out of my lungs "Let's fuck them all"
It's the time of my life,
And I never felt this way before,
I swear this is true,
And I owe it all to you-you-you
The songs pumping loud out from the speakers and everybody Dancing on the floor like there is no tomorrow, I think I needed those shots to get me out of my comfort zone and here I was dancing and how!
"How do you find that guy?" San nudged me. "That guy in black denims and white t-shirt with suspenders on who is bringing the drinks"
Well he was hot. If I had a type then it would definitely be him.
"He is hot, do you think I he would like me" okay so I admit I have a problem of low self esteem. It's better than being over confident I think.
"You can at least try giving it a shot"
So off I went walking slowly giving him those killer looks. I was just about to reach for him but before me came this `chink choot' and kissed him. "Fuck" I said out loud and turned around and went back to san and Rohan.
"Fuck man are they a couple" I said out of frustration. "That guy should be with me and not with that chink choot."
AS I said this both of them were giving me these look which I couldn't understand. "Guys I think I need some drinks, you coming along?"
"No you go explore yourself we will be waiting here." Both of them said in unison.
As I made my way towards the Bar I noticed two guys checking me out. Anhaan!! It's definitely going to be fun I thought. As I passed these guys one of them slapped on my ass. "Fuck" was my immediate reaction.
"You have got a nice ass there hottie." One of the guys said.
I was stunned. I didn't know what to react so I made my way to the as fast as I can. Sitting at the bar wondering, Is it all about ass and dick? Is it only thing that everybody wants? Not the person whom it is all attached to? Maybe I was right or maybe it was the vodka I grinned to myself.
2more shots down and I was all high. I got up to go towards the dance floor and suddenly I realised "oh my fucking god" I am too high I couldn't walk properly. Still managing somehow I made it to the dance floor and spotted Rohan dancing so I went to him and started dancing too. Very comfortable with each other, Rohan and me we dance very close and very seductive.
Somebody call `911',
Shawty fire burning on the dance floor,
I gotta cool her down,
She wan' bring the roof to the ground,
On the dance floor, whoa!!
Sean Kingston playing on the music system and my system totally gone haywire. I was hardly aware of what's going on around me, I could just make out that there were too many guys dancing around me and some of them making out too but I was too drunk to even think, I had my eyes closed and enjoying the beats and dancing to it but suddenly I heard something.
"He is with me" Rohan said to some guy whom I couldn't see quiet properly and he went as soon as Rohan said that.
"What happened? " I asked Rohan curious to know about what happened exactly.
He came back to me and started dancing with me again and said "He wanted to dance with you and was coming closer."
"And so?"
"He is not a nice guy Avi."
"Oh Okays anyway let's dance." I was too slouched to even care whom was he talking about.
So we started moving to the music again. 7shots down and then dancing is something which nobody can ever explain how amazing the feeling is. It just cannot be described in words. So I was again lost in the music.
"Excuse me" I heard someone saying.
"You excuse me Mister, he is with me" Rohan said a bit annoyed this time.
"He was back." he said to me when the guy went.
"Who?" I questioned him.
"The same guy who wanted to dance with you."
"Oh okay." Now I was bit curious who is this guy who comes back even after such rude reply.
"I will dance with him." I said to Rohan while taking a sip from his beer.
"What..?" either he didn't hear what I said or maybe he didn't want to.
"I will dance with him if he comes back again." I was kind of interested I don't know why?
Rohan just ignored what I said or maybe he was acting so either ways we started dancing again and dinking the beer. My!! I was going to have a massive hangover tomorrow morning I thought to myself. Moving to the beats we didn't realise we were dancing almost on the edge of the dance floor. Suddenly a guy started nudging me while I was dancing and was pushing Rohan aside, I couldn't stop laughing watching this.
"This is the guy." Rohan said. He was totally annoyed to this point.
"Okay let me dance. I promise just dance." I don't know why is he so scared or as if he hates this guy or something. And off he went. And I and the `GUY' started dancing. I didn't realise while dancing that he came very close to me and his hands went back to my neck and he pulled me closed towards him, now as much as I wanted to pull away I couldn't get myself to do that. This time I could see him very clearly, a tall guy around 5'11 with cropped hair, a good swimmers body hard as rock, fair skin and the most kissable lips I have ever seen. He was wearing a black jean with a black and maroon stripped Ringer t-shirt and no one else could look as good as he did in that t-shirt.
All this while noticing him I did not realise that his hands went inside my pants and were brushing against my ass. I was bit startled for a moment.
"No." I shouted in his ear.
He seemed not to care at all. He removed his hands and grabbed my face with both the hands and kissed me. Not just a peck a flow on kiss on the lips. I don't know what came into me or I was just not thinking Rational but I kissed him back. It didn't last for a longer time was just for few seconds and as he went back he started dancing again and was grinning. I swear I could see something in his eyes and suddenly the DJ played this song,
"All the hot guys on the floor the Last song of the night so dance your asses off"...
I know you want me I made it obvious that I want you to...
So put it on me, let's remove the space between me and you...
Now rock your body, ohhh damn I like the way that you move...
So give it to me, ohhh coz I already know what you wanna do!!!
Even though the song was playing in the background I felt like this guy is singing the every lyric or was it the situation or I don't know but I was kind of interested in him.
"Kiss me." Okay where did that come from, I swear it's not what I want to say. I want to tell him to back off and stop. Okay Avi try once more say STOP..STOP...STOP...
"Kiss me." Huh. What is wrong with me? These are not my words why am I even saying this, oh fuck! Now this guy is going to think I am desperate kinds....
And he didn't need any more convincing he pulled me to himself with one swig move and we started kissing each other.
Here's a situation, been to every nation
Nobody's ever made me feel the way that you do,
You know my motivation given my reputation,
Please excuse me I don't mean to be rude,
But tonight I'm fucking you, ohhhhh you know that tonight I'm fucking you...
So much into the kissing we both didn't realise that the lights were on and most of the people were looking at us, especially all of my friends. This guy pulled away from me and started coming out of his stoniness'.
"Hey I am Abhijeet. What is your name?"
"I am Avi." I said giving him a hug."
"So" I could see Rohan and VJ looking at me.
"So what."
`Can I have your number?"
Oh boy! I thought to myself what do I do, should I? Or should I not? But I ended up giving him my number.
"So see you later then he said."
As he was going I remember I have broken all the rules, I had a talk with a random guy and up making out with him and even gave him my phone number. Am I going to end up in a mess now? How bad is it going to be? I had to wait and watch that's what I could do......
To be continued..