They Say

Standard disclaimer... contains depictions of gay sex. Proceed at your own discretion. Comments are welcome and appreciated at Heavesnforlife@aol.com (show me you care)

They say you never really know what to expect until it winds up on your doorstep. They say that surprises have a way, a knack, of sneaking up on us.

Jesse- As soon as I saw it, it broke my heart. I wanted to crawl under a rock and die. I had no idea that anything could hurt so badly until I saw it happen.

Matt and I had been out all morning looking for an apartment, and I'd found it. It was far enough away from all the bad memories of my old place and Brooklyn's place and so I figured I'd be able to live as long as I wasn't in constant reminder of what had happened.

So I was satisfied with my little one-bedroom studio across campus from everything that I couldn't stand at this point in my life.

So next on the agenda was getting me a pair of wheels. Matt insisted I had a way to come see him whenever I needed to, night or day, and for his baby, the bus wasn't going to cut it. So we had gone down to a used car dealership where he happened to know the dealer and got me a deal on a used Jetta, still in great condition.

We'd accomplished all we needed and I still had a few minutes to spare before my first class at four. So we grabbed a bite to eat, Matt went back home and I took a drive around campus in my almost-new car.

And then the urge hit me and I was helpless to fight it. I new that going would be a bad idea, but I couldn't help myself. I had to do it.

So slowly, I turned up the ever-familiar street and inched past the ever-familiar buildings until I came across his. I was hardly there for 30 seconds when it happened.

Coming out of Brooklyn's front door was Charles, wearing only Brooklyn's ever-familiar low-rise workout sweats, holding a pair of keys. He pranced down the walk, admittedly sexy, and as soon as he'd hit the last step, out came Brooklyn, wrapped in nothing but a towel. He called Charles' name and Charles turned. Brooklyn followed him down the walk and the two embraced, kissed passionately and Brooklyn turned and went back into the house.

Shaking, I put my car in drive and made my way down the road, a single tear dripping down my face, two simple words ringing in my mind.

Charles won.

Zach- It hit me like a rock. I was still elated from my morning tryst with Shane and I thought nothing would be able to bring me down. I was wrong.

We'd fucked in the shower, then again in the kitchen when I was trying to make breakfast. And we would have fucked again if the two of us didn't have noon classes. That didn't stop us from making out in the English building after our first class, almost making Shane late to his 2 o'clock biology.

And so there I was, after my four o'clock Gen. Chem. Class, walking back to the apartment to change for dinner with Shane when my phone rang. Normally, I would have checked the call line to see the number before answering it, but that time I neglected to.

"Hello," I said into my cell phone. There was silence for a second and instantly I knew exactly who it was. "Hello?" I called again with a little agitation.

I didn't want to confirm what I already knew, but I knew that I needed to, so I did. Right there on the call line was the initial C.C. for Chris Cattan.

"What do you want Chris?" All I heard on the other line was breathing. I knew I should have hung up the phone, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"Chris?" I thought I heard a sob.

"Forgive me," he whispered. "Forgive me."

This time it was my turn to be speechless. His voice hit me like a rock and I realized just how long it had been since I last heard it. And with that realization came the realization that it had been a long time since he kissed me or touched me or made out with me in the back of the library.

I eventually hung up, a single tear dripping down my face.

A battle inside me was raging as I made my way to the apartment I knew was empty. Part of me wanted to go see him, to make sure he was all right. Part of me wanted to forget the whole thing had happened and to continue moving on with Shane.

Eventually, the see him part won, and before I had a chance to change my mind, I headed straight for the library.

Charles- It completely stunned me. I was completely and utterly stunned.

Like, seriously. I was already hella confused by what I'd done with Brooklyn. 'I love you?' Who says that? Not me, that's for damn sure. So why the hell was I walking around saying things like that, acting all a twitter and letting my guard down?

For as long I've ever known, people who say things like 'I love you' always end up getting hurt. And it hurts more when you love someone that messes you up than when you're just fucking them. So why was I in love with Brooklyn?

Or was I? No one had forced me to say those words, so I figured that stood for something. I couldn't stop thinking about him after this morning, which must have stood for something too.

So there I was, walking home, feeling things I've never felt. Feeling things I swore I'd never feel, but I was powerless to stop myself.

And then it stunned me. I walked up the steps to the apartment, and as soon as I stepped in, I knew something was off. At first, I was greeted by an eerie silence.

And then it hit me.

"Ohhhhh, fuck yeah, Zach," I heard Shane's voice. "Fuck me harder, babe. Oh fuck yeah."

I was bolted to the floor. I couldn't have moved if I'd wanted to.

"Ohhhh, yeah, Shane," I heard Zach's voice. "You want my dick in you baby? You me to fuck you?"

The sounds of them grunting, skin slapping, masked by the sound of the shower running were enough to induce bile from the pit of my stomach.

And so I escaped, feeling utterly shocked, a little bit disgusted, slightly dirty, and a tad bit turned on.

Denton- I was speechless. There was nothing I could say.

He'd said it nonchalantly, like I should have been expecting it or something, but nothing in the entire world could have prepared me for that announcement.

We were in the car. We'd just pulled up to this huge condo building and I was feeling proud of my brother for having good taste. I was about to open my door when he said he needed to tell me something.

"Shoot," I said.

"Dude," he began. "You're my bro right?"

"Of course." That made me a little nervous.

"No matter what, right?"

"Yeah." Now I was really nervous.

"So no matter," he began, but I cut him off.

"Just say it."

He took a deep breath. "Ok," he said. "There is no Lacey."

I was confused for a second. Then I remembered that Lacey was his fiancé.

"So that means you're not getting married?"

"Oh, I am," he said quickly. "To Luke."

I was so speechless; I had absolutely nothing to say.

"What?" I managed to choke. "Who's Luke?"

"Look, now," he said. "Don't freak out. I was gonna tell you over the phone, but then I was afraid you wouldn't come. This means a lot to me."

"Ok, ok," I cut him off. "But who the hell is Luke?"

"This guy I met," he said. "He's actually from Texas, which is hella cool considering that's where you're going to school."

"So you and this Luke guy," I said cautiously. "Are getting married?"

"You said you wouldn't freak out."

"I never said that."

"Yes you did."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did."

"No I... hold on. Can you even do that?"

"Do what?"

"Get married?" he looked at me blankly like I was asking a stupid question. "To a guy?" I yelled.

"Oh. Sure," he replied.

"In the states?"

"No, idiot. That's why we're all going to Canada for the weekend."

"You're dragging me to Canada to watch you and some guy I've never even met get married?"

It was too much. In one conversation, I'd realized that my brother was a) gay. B) getting married. And c) the dumbest person to walk the planet.

"Look," he continued getting a serious tone. "I know this is a shock, cuz you thought I was straight and all, but listen. When I went to Cali, I changed in so many ways. You're probably going through the same thing at school, discovering who you really are. Now I'm not saying your gonna start dating guys or anything, but you're gonna surprise yourself in ways you wouldn't have imagined back in high school." He paused and I breathed hard, knowing exactly what he was talking about. "And Luke and I are perfect. And you're my brother so I want you to love him just as much as I do. Can you do that?"

"Yes," I said under my breath.

"Great," he said chipper again. "Let's go meet my sexy god."

We went up the walk, silently, both of us feeling a little nervous. Then he said it and it hit me like a bag of rocks. I felt like my entire body was convulsing on the inside, and I could have fallen right off those steps.

"Dude," he said. "Don't be weirded out or anything, but he has a glass eye. Its actually kinda cute if you get used to it."

Zach- "Hey, Zach. Haven't seen you around for a while."

"Yeah," I said. "Is Chris here?"

"Sure," he replied. "He's in the back. Let me go get him."

So I waited for the desk clerk to go get Chris. So far so good, I thought. I haven't backed out and gone home yet.

"Hi," I heard him say behind me. He didn't sound as pathetic as I'd imagined, but he was hardly the happy-go-lucky guy I'd known just a couple months ago.

I turned around to face him. He looked good. His hair was still big and curly. His eyes were still shining blue. His body was still banging. I was surprised to see him looking so well.

"Hi," I replied. "You, um, called me this afternoon."

"Yeah," he said. "That was an accident."

"Oh," I said. I must have blatantly shone my reaction.

"It's because you said not to call you anymore," he explained quickly. "I didn't realize it was your number I was dialing, so I apologized."

"Oh," I said, feeling embarrassed. I turned to leave. "Alright. I'll just go then."

"You don't have to leave," he said.

"Actually," I replied. "I can't stay. I just came over to see why you were calling." I suddenly felt desperate to go.

"Why?" he asked quietly.

"Why what?" I said. I turned to face him.

"Why'd you come? I didn't think you still cared."

"I don't, Chris," I said firmly. "It just freaked me out how you called. I didn't know if everything was alright."

"Oh," he said sounding disappointed.

"Don't do that again," I said. I turned and walked out of the library.

Charles- I went to my usual escape at the gym: the pool. I had to get those crazy sounds and mental images out of my brain, so I quickly stripped down and headed straight for the workout pool. Not to many people use the work out pool when there isn't practice, so I was practically empty except for a couple swimmers and the JV diving team on the other end.

I caught a glimpse of Coach Danny showing a kid how to kick his jump a little higher, giving him more lift for his dives. I smiled at him and dove into the pool to swim a couple of short laps.

My workout was short, cuz I really wasn't feeling the water like I usually did. So much was going on in my head, I must have been too preoccupied to relax. So after a few minutes in the pool, I got out and headed back to the locker room.

"Take five, guys," I heard Coach Danny say to his team. A couple of steps later he was behind me in the hallway breathing low on my neck.

"If you wait up in my office for a couple of minutes, I'll be right there to play with you," he hissed. It sounded so sexy and tempting.

"That sounds like fun," I hesitated. "But I have a place to be. Maybe next time."

The words came out automatically. The old Charles would have been waiting naked in his office in a heartbeat, but something in my stomach told me that wasn't such a good idea.

'That would be unfaithful,' my conscience told me. 'Unfaithful to who?' I thought as I walked solo into the locker room.

My new feelings scared the hell out of me, and I realized I needed to deal with them and sort them out before I became I crazy wreck.

Zach- "What's the matter?" he asked when I got to the apartment, went straight to my room and flopped on the bed.

"I saw somebody today," I said. A tear was streaming down my face.

"Who?" Shane asked. He sounded genuinely concerned.

"My ex."

"Oh," he said. He lay next to me, propped up on his elbow, and stroked my head. "Wanna talk about it."

I did.

"So he called right," I began. "And I was like 'why the hell is he calling?' and without even thinking about it, I walked over the library to see him. I'm such an idiot."

"You aren't an idiot."

"Oh yeah?" I asked. "Then why the hell did go over there? It isn't like I still have feelings for him, which now he thinks I do. And damn did he look good."

"Are you sure you don't have feelings for him?" Shane asked sarcastically. I smiled at him.

"Asshole."

"Yours first," he said with a wicked grin.

"Horny bastard," I retorted. He was above me, so I was powerless. He leaned down and kissed me softly, barely opening his mouth to let his tongue out. I met his kiss with my own and we lay there on my bed making out. He felt my chest through my shirt and my hand wandered downward toward the buckle of his jeans.

"Who's the horny bastard?" he asked, separating our lips for only a second.

I felt his hardening dick through his jeans, begging to be released, so I gently lowered his zipper and undid his button to let the little monster out. He moaned in mouth.

Without breaking our intimate oral connection, I encircled his cock with my fingers and began gently stroking him. I felt his hips buck uncontrollably from my touch.

Slowly, I jacked him off with my hand, quickening the pace. As my hand pumped faster, Shane kissed me harder and harder. I could feel his reaction to my jacking with the gusto in which he kissed me. I kept going.

His hands were everywhere, playing under my shirt or over my crotch, squeezing, pulling, and rubbing. He was all over the place with his tongue as well; one second he was deep in my throat, the next, licking my ear, or my neck or my face. He was enjoying every second of what I was doing and he wasn't shy to show it.

I felt his lower body tense and I pulled back my stroking for a few minutes. I spent some time massaging his balls as he continued his assault on my mouth with his own. He had released my own cock with his wandering hands and when the two of us were at the same page, I returned to jacking him off as he did the same to me.

The feeling of him holding my dick as I held his was mutually exhilarating. Both he and I were trying our best to give the other what we loved so much. The pleasure flowing from our fingers were connected; I to him and he to me.

I moaned heavily deep into his mouth as I felt myself get ready to go. Unable to control it, I felt the orgasm travel from deep down inside my balls, up my dick and spew out all over his hand and my bare chest. Not once did he break the kiss until I was done squirting my load all over the both of us.

Then, in a sexy action, he lifted his head off of me and brought his fingers up to his face. I watched from below as he licked all five of his cum-drenched fingers clean.

"That's hot," I whispered.

"Oh yeah?" he asked. He then brought his back down to my chest to get some more spunk. He scooped it up in his finger, and this time he brought it to me.

"Lick it," he said. Now, I'd never been the kind to taste my own cum, but I had to admit, right then and there, his instruction was pretty tempting. I brought my face a little of the bed, stuck my tongue out a little bit and Shane fed me my own cum. I sucked on his finger and he smiled down at me, moaning softly.

Horny as ever, Shane lifted himself off the bed, brought his hips up to my face and offered me his dripping cock. Who was I to refuse?

I took his meat in my mouth, first delicately, but with the bucking of his crotch, I began to bob my head up and down faster and harder. Both of us were enjoying what we were doing to the fullest.

Shane massaged the back of my head, encouraging me to take his long shaft deeper down my throat. Every vibration sent him closer to the edge until, in a violent bucking fit, Shane took his cock out of my mouth and shot his load fiercely all over my horny face and chest. He collapsed on top of me, and we went back to kissing.

The sexiest part wasn't feeling his hot body next to mine. It was the taste of my own cum in his mouth, as he tasted his.

In those moments, I completely forgot about Chris Cattan.

Denton- There was absolutely no way in hell this was real. No way. I was all kinds of stunned when we walked into my brother's apartment and I saw Glass sitting there. He smiled when he saw my face. That bitch new all along.

"Meet Luke," my brother introduced us. I shook his hand is if was seeing him for the first time, forgetting that I'd seen him naked a million times.

"Hey Luke. That's an interesting name."

"And you are?" Glass asked me.

"Denton," I replied icily.

"Likewise," he said. "An interesting name."

My brother announced that he was gonna run upstairs to change and take up my bags. He disappeared up the winding staircase.

"What the fuck is this?" I hissed under my breath. I scooted next to him on the loveseat.

"Welcome to the reason I'm leaving the Tribe."

"But you said," I started.

"I lied," he cut me off.

"I cannot believe this."

"Believe it. Your bro and I are in love."

"You are lying," I accused. He raised up his right hand and showed me his ring finger.

"Why would I lie?" he asked dead seriously.

"Why wouldn't you tell me the truth?"

"So, you two getting acquainted?" my brother asked slowly descending down the steps.

"More than ever," I said, surprisingly considering the dryness of my throat.

"Good," he said. "I'd hate my two best men to ever not get along."

"I'd hate for him to give me a reason," Glass said and I shot him a glance. My brother took this as a joke and started laughing. He plopped down on the couch across from Glass and me. I was the first to break the silence because I had to know.

"How did you two meet?"

"It's a pretty interesting story," my brother began. "This summer, this guy came to New York on some kind of business trip and we met at the private airport. You were actually there, Denton."

I gave him a questioning look.

"We were coming back from the Germany trip right before you were supposed to come down to school."

"Oh," I said remembering. "The Germany trip."

"Yeah. So I guess Luke had a private jet or something, cuz that's were he was."

"How come I never saw you?"

"We met for the first time in the bathroom actually. We did some things I should never confess to my brother.

"You said you had constipation from German food."

"I had something up there, but it was constipation and it wasn't German food."

"Your sick," I said throwing a pillow across at him. I turned to Glass. "So, Luke, my brother told me you were from Texas?"

"Yeah. I hear you are too. Small world," he said.

"I'll say. What do you do?"

"Well I recently left a job as a private investigator. I'm relocating to New York."

"Why should my baby work?" my brother asked. "When we have all this money."

"Besides," Glass replied. "I've always wanted to learn how to surf. So we're gonna spend some time in California."

My mind was blown. Glass, my Glass, my roommate for the past 4 months had been seeing my brother for the past 4 months. And now the two of them, unbeknownst to me until now, were gonna spend the rest of their lives together. I was blown away.

"So this is what's gonna happen," my brother said, shaking me off my contemplating. "We're gonna wait here for Luke's little brother to show up, and then in the morning, we hit the road for Canada. They have like two chapels that perform this kind of ceremony."

"Wait," I interrupted. "What did you say?"

"Canada, chapel, ceremony."

"Before that."

"Oh, Mitch," Glass said nonchalantly. "My little brother. He's on his way." The doorbell rang just then and my heart completely stopped beating.

"Speak of the devil," my brother said getting up to answer it.

I looked at Glass and the expression on his face sold him away that he was completely and fully enjoying every single moment of this.

Jesse- I called him as soon as I was settled in and stopped crying.

"So are you gonna tell me what happened tonight?" Matt asked. I'd promised him I would explain everything when I was ready, but I wasn't quite feeling ready.

"Not yet."

"Just checking. Listen," he said softly. "Nothing you say could ever make me so upset I'd stop caring about you."

"Notice how you didn't say loving me."

There was silence. It was almost like an accusation, even though I hadn't meant it like that. I was hurting and liable to say anything.

"Well then I should revise my statement," he said trying to ad faux happiness to the conversation.

"Why do you even care about me at all?"

"Don't give me too much credit," he replied.

"I'm serious, Matt. I'm a lousy person."

"You aren't a lousy person," he said. I was so glad we were having this conversation over the phone. I didn't want him to see me looking so pathetic.

"Whoever it was really messed you up didn't they?" I didn't respond. I didn't know whether I was afraid to tell Matt, or embarrassed, or what. I had no idea what I was, but the fact remained that I didn't want Matt to know.

"I'll tell you when I'm ready."

"Fair enough. How's the new place?"

"Quiet. I miss living with two other guys."

"Don't get all lonely on me now. That's what the car is for; it's a thirty minute drive."

"I know, I know. You have to stop worrying about me."

"I worry cuz I care."

"Then stop caring. I don't deserve it."

"None of us do, Jesse. None of us do."

Charles- It had to be a phase right? People didn't really feel like this forever did they?

I felt like a lovesick puppy, and I'd never felt like a lovesick puppy in my life. I didn't recognize myself.

So as I opened the door to the apartment, I came to the conclusion that it had to be a phase, and it was that simple.

"Hey, buddy," Shane greeted me nonchalantly when I walked in.

"Hey guys," I replied. "What are ya'll doing?"

"Nothing," they both said at the same time. I smiled and crossed over to the bedroom to drop of my stuff. I stripped off my shirt and jeans and returned to the living room in comfortable for the first time today.

"Oh," Shane said teasingly. "Hot stuff." Zach slapped his arm. "Ouch."

"So what's up?" Zach asked as I joined them in the living room with a bowl of cereal. Zach had his hand on Shane's thigh, I noticed while sitting down across from them.

"Nothing," I said, milk dribbling down my chin.

"Slob," Shane said. He threw a pillow at me.

"Watch it," I said, my mouth still full. There was a little silence. "I saw Brooklyn today."

"What?" Zach said, half rising from the couch. "Are you crazy?"

"Fill me in," Shane said. Zach quickly explained.

"Brooklyn is a TA that Charles and Jesse were both sleeping with, but then Jesse moved in with him, but Brooklyn kicked Jesse out cuz Jesse didn't trust him, which is ironic cuz Brooklyn WAS in fact sleeping with Charles." Then he turned to me without skipping a beat and asked, "Why would you see him?"

"I had to," I replied. "I dunno."

"Not a good idea," Zach said. "Did you sleep with him?"

I averted my eyes, showing my guilt.

"You're going to hell," Zach said. Shane laughed.

"Why is it such a big deal?" Shane asked.

"Yeah," I added. "Why is it such a big deal?"

Now Zach was in the spotlight. "It just is. And it's kind of slutty."

Suddenly, we heard the doorbell ring.

"Not it," I said, waving my spoon up high.

"Not it," Zach called, raising his hand.

"Fine, lazy asses." Zach slapped his but as Shane got up to get the door.

"Hello," he said opening the door. I could see a guy standing there holding a bag with a backpack strapped around his shoulder.

"Is Charles, Zach, or Shane here?" the guy said with a heavy European accent. I guessed Italy.

"Yeah," Shane said hesitantly.

"Great," the guy said. He took a step into the apartment and looked around.

"Can we help you?" Shane asked, closing the door.

"Oh, sorry," the guy said. "How rude of me. My name is Marco. I'm an exchange student. I just came from the housing office and they placed me here. They said there was a vacancy?"

We all stared at him, all of us at a loss for words.

"Nice to meet you all," he said, still looking around, smiling from ear to ear.

They surprises have a way of sneaking up on us. They say you never really know what to expect until it ends up on your doorstep.

Comments are always welcome and appreciated at heavensforlife@aol.com