They Say

Standard disclaimer applies. This story contains depictions of gay sex, so don't read it if you can't, don't want to, or shouldn't.

They say that life is not black and white. They say that our choices are never one or the other, but are always a combination of sever factors. They say that there no clear cut right or wrong, but instead a grey area in which we decide the outcome of our lives.

Charles- I called him. He told me to come over, so I did. I wasn't thinking. His secretary sat me down while I waited for him to be ready. It hadn't even been two days and I was already giving into temptation. The less I thought about it, the easier it was to do.

His office was plush. He worked on one of the higher floors and when the receptionist gave me the go ahead to see Mr. Gray, I rode a glass elevator up to his space. Each second in the elevator intensified my guilt. It took all I had not to think about Brooklyn, grading papers at home while I knew what I was going do. The door was closed and when I knocked he told me to come in.

Madison was seated on his desk, legs crossed, jacket and tie off and his top two buttons undone. He smiled at me as I came in.

"It's good to see you again, Charles," he said as I closed the door behind me.

"You too, Madison," I replied. I walked over to his desk. I couldn't think. I couldn't hesitate, I just had to do it before the pangs of guilt returned. I walked right up to Madison and gave him a kiss.

He kissed me back and I instantly felt a connection. As soon as his tongue entered my mouth, I knew I couldn't resist. I took my jacket off as quickly as I could and before I knew it, I was unbuttoning Madison's shirt further.

"Whoa," he said pulling back. "Slow down there champ."

"Are we allowed to do this here?" I asked. He smiled. He stood up and I replaced him by sitting on his desk. He walked to the door and locked it, pulled the shades the rest of the way down and turned around with a smile on his face.

"Only if you want," he whispered. I wanted to. I smiled to as he came close to me. my legs were rapped around him as he stood between them. It wasn't long before I could feel his hardening cock against mine as he lowered his lips onto mine. I hadn't felt this hot about some since the first time Brooklyn and I had done it, sneaking around Jesse's back.

"Mmmm," he moaned into my mouth. I decided to take my hands off his lightly hairy chest and pulled his dress shirt all the way off. I felt his hand glide up my thigh towards my crotch and I slid up to give him a little more room. Before I could take my lips off of his and replace them on his neck, he had my pants off and was stroking my cock. I moaned quietly, not wanting to make to much noise in his office, as he got down on his knees and immediately engulfed my cock all the way down his throat. I leaned back to hold my balance, one hand bracing myself on his desk, the other behind his head.

I could hear him slurping up my impossibly hard dick while he stroked his own.

"Oh, yeah, babe," I encouraged. "Suck it. Oh, that feels so good. You're amazing"

He was using his tongue in ways I hadn't ever felt. I wanted to let out a scream, but knew that that would not be a good idea. Instead, I decided I needed something in my mouth to prevent me from wailing out. I guided Madison's head off my cock and knelt down next to him. We kissed for a minute, stroking each other, before I lay down and pulled his crotch to my face. He pivoted so that he could go back to servicing my dick at the same time.

The pleasure of his tongue on my cock and my mouth sucking him like there was no tomorrow was too much for the both of us. He thrust downward into my throat furiously. I felt his cock pulse one second and the next, streams of cum were shooting down my throat, almost too fast for me to swallow. I resisted screaming his name in pure bliss as I emptied my load into his tight mouth.

We lay there on top of each other for a second before Madison got up and started putting his clothes back on.

"That was amazing," he said. I didn't say anything. I suddenly felt a pang of guilt, but I tried to hide it. Instead I just searched for my clothes and quickly put them on. As I made my way to the door, Madison came up behind me and as I turned, kissed me quickly on the lips. "When will I see you again?"

"I'll call you," I replied. I couldn't help but smile at him, but I quickly got out. I took a second to stand by the door and gather my thoughts before walking past Madison's secretary's desk. She looked up at me with a knowing glance.

Zach- after two days of fuming around in my dorm room, I finally got over it. I don't remember when it was exactly but I finally got over it. I could tell Shane, Charles and even the Italian where starting to get annoyed at my wondering what I had done wrong. Why I'd been stupid. It was the same thing every day and as the new week began, I was determined to let it go.

"You awake?" Shane asked as I came in from the restroom. I was brushing my teeth.

"Good morning," I replied trying to keep all the toothpaste in my mouth. "What's up?"

"Nothing," he replied. He gave me a look of confusion. "You seem happy."

I went into the bathroom and rinsed out my mouth. I came out grinning. "That's because I am," I said. I crawled over Shane and gave him a kiss.

"You are?"

"I really, truly am. I've spent too much time moping around. I'm done with Chris for good. I went there, I got my closure and now I'm moving on."

"Do you have amnesia?"

"What do you mean?"

"Zach, two days ago you were going between crying and throwing things at our heads. What changed?"

"I'm done, Shane. I'm over it. I'm moving on," I replied.

I got up and sat at his feet.

"You know, its ok to be upset as long as you want to be."

"I don't want to be upset, Shane," I said probably louder than I should have. "I just, I'm tired of being upset. I'm tired of caring about Chris when he's already moved on. Plus I have you here, and I have all these great friends. This weekend was it. I'm done."

"Well," he began getting up to kneel by me. "I'm proud of you." he kissed me. "I'm proud of you." he kissed me again. "I'm proud of^Å"

"Ok, ok. I have to go to class," I said standing. He tried to come up behind me with tickling fingers. "Stop. Stop, I have to go." He tried pinning me to the door. "Stop, no. no! God," he kept tickling me and came in close for a kiss. I put my hand in front of his face. "Sorry, stud. I really have to go."

Charles- "Hello? Yes, could you transfer me to Brooklyn please? Thanks Kathy."

"Hey, beautiful," Brooklyn's voice said after a minute on hold. "What's up?" my heart sank. I didn't say anything for a second and Brooklyn asked "Are you ok, baby? Charles? Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, no, everything is fine. I, umm. I was just calling to say that I would be home late tonight."

"Oh? What's up?"

"I, uh, well you know Zach has been feeling well. So I'm gonna take him out and I think I might just stay at the dorm."

"Oh. So you won't be coming home at all tonight?"

"Probably not. I'll see you tomorrow though."

"Ok," he replied. I couldn't tell if he sounded indifferent or not, but to my guilty mind he sounded sad. "Well," he said trying to sound sexy, "why don't you stop by my office for lunch?"

I thought about it. I wasn't in the mood. "I just ate. I'm actually headed to the pool to swim some laps."

"Ok, well. I'll see you tomorrow then. Bye."

I hung up. If I wasn't counting down the hours until I would see Madison again, I probably could have cried.

Jesse- I was starting a new life. No more of that past dorm suite. No more Charles, Brooklyn, Zach or Marco. I was free. I could do what I wanted because those idiots had let me go and I was finally gone.

I went to class like always and afterwards spent some time running in the gym. I ran into Charles as he was coming back from the pool, dripping wet and sexy, but avoided eye contact with him. Later that afternoon, I went to Brooklyn's class and answered two questions correctly without hesitating or remembering what he looked like naked. I was cured.

I knew it wouldn't always be that easy, especially on this campus, but I got back to my apartment feeling very proud of myself. I stopped by the dining store on the way home, picked up a pint of ice cream and rented a movie from Blockbuster.

When I got home, I ordered a pizza and immediately stripped down to a pair of boxers and started watching sappy Romantic Comedies. I was in the middle of an old black and white one with Katherine Hepburn and Cary Grant when the doorbell rang.

"A large meat lover's pizza?" said the sexy guy at my door. He had to be about 18 and must have been a local- maybe a senior in high school. He wasn't much younger than me, but he certainly had a baby face. "That'll be 16 even."

"Give me a second," I said. I was holding my pint and spoon and reached around to my back pocket to grab my wallet when I realized I was in boxers. "Oh, sorry," I said looking down at what I was wearing. "I'll be right back."

I ran to my bedroom got a twenty and came back to the door. "Here. Keep the change," I said.

He then reached the pizzas out to make the exchange and give my box. I put my pint on top of the box and the spoon in my mouth. I handed him the twenty while balancing the box of the pizza in my hand. Before I even realized what was going on, the pint of ice cream was rolling down the side of the box towards the pizza guy.

"Oh shit," I said as a large bob of ice cream went splashing across his delivery shirt. "Oh god," I exclaimed dropping the pizza. I grabbed the guy's shirt and began apologizing repeatedly.

"Its ok, its ok, calm down."

"Oh god," I responded. "Come in. Hold on a second. I can take care of this." I pulled into the apartment and quickly started taking his shirt off for him.

"Whoa, whoa, dude. What are you doing?" he asked. He put his hands up. For the first time, I realized how it must have looked.

"Wait, oh no," I responded laughing. "I'm not hitting on you, I swear. I just didn't want that to set. I'm really sorry."

"It's cool," he replied. "I just didn't want you getting the wrong idea. Look, I can just get a new shirt at the store." He took of his shirt and handed it to me. "How about you wash that for me and I'll pick it up some other time."

"Ok," I said smiling. "You know where to find me," I laughed cornily.

As he left my apartment, I couldn't help but notice that his body was way more defined than his boyish face.

Denton- I saw Preston for the next two nights. We slept together on Saturday and Sunday of that week before I went back to campus. Upon walking into the fraternity house Monday morning, I realized that Preston was the best sex I'd ever had.

He was better than the girl I lost my virginity to, an older cheerleader who's sister had dated my brother. He was better than my prom date who I ended up passing out on top of at the after party. He was better than the water boy that used to blow off me and I suspected some of my friends our senior year football season. He was better than Glass who had simply used me for my body and gave me nothing in return. And after going down the list, I finally got to Mitchell and asked myself if he was better than him.

Although Mitchell and I had had a good relationship and awesome sex, something was different about Preston. He wasn't hotter, albeit amazingly built. His cock wasn't any bigger, although it was a nice cut size, and he didn't have any special tricks. He knew what he was doing, and that seemed to be enough.

So why was he better than Mitchell? Was it because he was passionate without being needy? Was it because we were both being purely animalistic and I didn't feel the need to emote with Preston. It was just sex.

Sure we talked, something I hadn't really done with another guy. And he was really interesting. But when it came down to him, I was attracted to him for purely physical reasons. And even if it didn't last long, it was still amazing while it was lasting.

So I went home on Monday wearing the same clothes I'd gone out in on Friday. And I was in such a state of bliss that I didn't notice either some of my fraternity brothers watching me come in while they were eating breakfast or Mitchell's incredibly hurt face as I stumbled up the stairs to my bedroom.

Charles- "Where are you off to?" Marco asked as I put on a blue button down and tried to think of which tie to wear.

"I'm going to dinner," I replied.

"Oh," he replied. "Where is Brooklyn taking you tonight?"

"Huh? Oh, Brooklyn. Yeah, we're just going to a movie and then maybe a show. Which one do you think looks better?" I held up a charcoal and a light grey jacket.

"The light one," he replied.

"The only thing better than being gay is having a gay roommate," I laughed.

I put on the jacket, went into the restroom to check my hair one more time and when I came out, Shane was in the room.

"Some guy is out there looking for you," he said. I put on my shoes. "I've never seen you take this long to get ready for a date."

"Yeah," said Marco. "This must be a special place Brooklyn is taking you to."

"Brooklyn?" asked Shane. "He's not the guy out there." As confused as usual, I just left Shane to think what he wanted. I walked into the common room and Madison was talking to Zach.

"I guess you two have met," I said smiling.

"Yes," Zach said looking less than happy. "Can I talk to you in my room please?"

"Oh, we're actually kind of late," I said. I knew what he had to say.

"It's important."

I walked into his room and shut the door behind us.

"Look, I know what you're gonna say," I said.

"And?" he asked.

"And what?"

"And you're still going out with him?" I rolled my eyes. "Charles, you love Brooklyn. Do you not remember everything you went through to get with him? And you're gonna throw it away for^Å" he didn't finish the sentence.

"For what? For a guy I find interesting? For a guy that might be the one?"

"Oh please," he interjected.

"Who knows, Zach? I have fun with Madison," I said.

"I'm sure he's great in bed."

"It isn't even about that," I said. "Before you get all judgmental, try to understand. Brooklyn is the first relationship I've ever been in. Who says it will last forever? What if Madison is a better match for me?"

"Hey, Charles," Madison called while knocking on the door. He opened it and peaked his head in. "You ready to go? We have reservations."

"I'll be there in a second," I told him.

"Try to understand, Zach. If this gets more serious, then I'll tell Brooklyn. Before I'm sure, I'd rather he didn't know."

"You'd better go," he said to me. "You have reservations."

"Actually, I don't," I said looking him in the eye. I walked out and met Madison. He was grinning from ear to ear to see me.

Denton- "How was your weekend?" Mitchell asked opening my door. I took my iPod off and put my book down next to me. "I'm sorry, I knocked and you didn't answer so I just came in."

"Hey," I replied surprised. "Umm, have a seat." I sat up on the bed. "What's up?"

"I just came in to talk," he said. "I was kind of bored."

"Oh," I replied, probably sounding rude. "I was actually reading. I'm not sure if its^Å"

"Ok," he said. "I won't stay." He got up to go and walked towards the door. He stopped, turned and said "Wait a second. I think that you owe me something," he said.

"What? I don't owe you anything," he replied.

"I'm not gonna say anything about dumping me or spending the weekend with some hick bartender from the city," he said.

"How did you know about that?" I interrupted.

"You forget you joined the Tribe," he said. "That's not the point. The point is, I didn't come in here to say anything. I came in here because you owe me something. You owe me the chance to at least be friends with you. I don't need a relationship. I don't need to have sex with you. I don't even need you to love me back. But when I come in here to be friends with you, you can at the very least oblige me. You owe me that much."

I didn't say anything for a while. I knew he was right, wasn't he? I mean, he hadn't done anything wrong. He'd actually been amazing about the entire situation and I was being the dick. I just wanted a chance to explore, freedom if you will, and here was supporting that. How could I argue with it?

"Ok," I said. "I'm sorry. Sit down. What do you want to talk about?"

"Nothing really," he replied. "I just wanted to see how you were."

"Oh," I said. "I'm fine. I had a great weekend. I feel great."

"Cool. Who was that guy, anyway?"

"Who, Preston?"

He nodded.

"Look, Mitchell, we don't have to do this. I know what you're trying to do and we don't have to do this."

"I'm not trying to do anything. Give me the benefit of the doubt here. I had a great weekend too."

"Oh really?" I asked. "Good for you." I meant it.

"Yeah. I went out with an old friend of mine I messed around with freshmen year. We caught a show."

"That's great." I felt like I'd given him all he wanted- attention. I didn't necessarily feel jealous, just slightly uneasy talking to Mitchell about the guys we were respectively screwing. "Look, I should really finish this book. I didn't get much reading done this weekend so I need to catch up."

"I understand," he said opening the door. "I'll catch you later."

I smiled at him almost fakely and he left. I couldn't determine how I felt. I picked up my phone and called Preston. He said he'd come over after work.

Jesse- I didn't expect him to come back. It must have been part of my new persona sans expectations, but I really didn't think he'd come back for his shirt. So I was really surprised when my doorbell rang a little after midnight and the Pizza guy was standing there in a wife beater.

"Hi," he said cheerfully. "I came back for my shirt."

"Oh," I replied suddenly embarrassed. "I had no idea you were coming back for it tonight. I was gonna watch it in the morning."

"I kind of need it for work in the morning," he said.

"Umm," I was flustered. "Ok. Well, come in and I'll put it in right now. It should take less than an hour. I'll put on a movie if you want to stick around."

He came in and I showed him into the living room. I told him to pick something to watch and I'd be back in a second.

I went to the laundry room for my floor and sprayed some stain remover on it. I said I to a neighbor of mine, put the guy's shirt in the washer and realized I didn't have any detergent.

"Hey," I said to my neighbor who was sitting in his boxers and reading a book. "Do you have any detergent I could use? I left mine up at my apartment."

"Oh, yeah, sure," he said. He pointed at his detergent while crossing his legs. Too late, I thought.

"Thanks, I owe one" I replied.

When I got back to the apartment, the pizza guy was watching MTV and sitting on my couch. He could go either way, I decided. I wondered if I should go for it.

"So," I said. "Your shirt will be done in about an hour."

"Cool," he said. He didn't look up at me. Not a good sign, I decided. After about five minutes of silently watching TV, he looked at me and asked "Are you gay?"

"What?"

"Are you gay?" he repeated.

"Umm, yeah, but where did that come from?"

"Oh," he said laughing. "I just noticed Logo was on when I turned on the TV. I wasn't snooping or anything. And its cool, my little brother is gay."

"Good to know," I said.

Another five minutes of awkward silence before he said "I'm not. In case you were wondering."

"Thanks for the heads up."

I could tell this was going to be a long hour.

Zach- I spent the night hanging out with Shane. We ate dinner, watched a film and went back to our room to have wild steamy sex^Å twice. As we lay there spent, cum all over both our chests and our hands unable to stop touching each other, my phone rang.

"Hello?" I asked, breathing hard.

"Zach?" it was Brooklyn calling. I sat up straight.

"Yeah, what's up?" I asked.

"Hey, I was just trying to reach Charles. He isn't answering his phone and he said ya'll were hanging out tonight so I thought I'd give you a try. Are you with him?"

I was faced with a choice. I could tell him that I didn't know where Charles was, hopefully making him suspicious enough to question Charles about it. If I did that, I would be in the clear, telling the truth while still forcing Charles to come clean. As much as I wanted to, I went with choice number and lied.

"Yeah, umm, Charles actually got really drunk at the club so we came back and he's sleeping it off. I'll tell him to call you in the morning."

"Thanks Zach. I'll see you later."

I hung up on Brooklyn and immediately called Charles.

Charles- Our date ended as I knew it would. We went to Madison's loft in the city and before he had a chance to close the door, our hands were all over each other and we didn't let go until I left in the morning.

He claimed he could take off all my clothes, make me hard and make me cum without ever using his hands, and I told him to try. Once he got the tricky zipper of my pants down with ease, I knew he wasn't all talk. Before I knew it, his dick was buried deep in my ass, pumping in and out both passionately and hornily as I screamed and moaned under him. He fucked me so many ways I lost count after he had me on my back with my legs sprawled completely over my head.

Not only did he complete the challenge, but he went above and beyond anything I would have ever expected. I shot wave after wave of my hot cum across my chest, not only once or twice but four fucking times, and he didn't even stop. He kept fucking me harder and harder as my dick stayed full even after spilling three loads. He finally took his cock out of my ass and sprayed his hot load to meet mine on my chest. I was panting, writhing around in pure bliss, not knowing were to go from here.

"Wow," he panted, his face next to mine. "That was amazing."

"The fucking best I have ever had," I said sounding just as tired as him.

We lay in silence for a while. My phone rang, but I didn't bother to pick it up or even check who was calling.

"How long are we gonna do this?" Madison asked out of no where.

"What do you mean?" I asked. I wasn't sure what he was getting at.

"This," he replied. "I mean, with your boyfriend and all. I don't want to come between you to." I tried to say something, but he cut me off. "I know you're grown and you can handle yourself, but I don't want to be responsible for breaking something up." He sat up off the bed and pulled some of the sheets to cover him. "Besides, I'm like 8 years older than you are. I should start thinking about settling down soon."

"Is soon today?" I asked.

"No," he replied. "But soon will be before you're ready to settle down."

I didn't know what to say. Was he dumping me? There was no way he could be dumping me. I don't get dumped. I started laughing. He asked what I was laughing at.

"Look, Madison, I can't lie to you," I replied. "I don't know if this is going to go somewhere or if this is a dangerous fling I'm having fun with. I love having sex with you. I love doing it in your office, in an expensive restaurant, inside your 300 thread count sheets."

"I assume this has a point," he interrupted.

"But I also love talking to you. And if it were just sex, I wouldn't even be here because I have a boyfriend that I love and care about wondering why I'm not home tonight," he looked at me intensely but I could see his eyes beginning to soften. "And the reason I'm here is because I'm willing to take a chance. Do I know if I could ever settle down with you? I don't know. Am I going to race the clock in order to get to that point faster? I don't think so. But I'm willing to take a chance on something I know to be good and loyal and waiting for me in order to be here with you and I'm asking you to take a chance on me. Trust me, in the week that I've known you, I've developed stronger feelings for you than I think I have for anyone else. Please don't make me rush this."

"I don't want to put pressure on you," he responded after a few moments of thinking silence. "But you have to understand were I'm coming from."

"I understand. But let's take it slow. I want this. I want to be here with you right now. And eventually, I'll evaluate whether I want this more than I want what I already have. But I'm begging you not to make me analyze it too much right now, because if you forced me to pick today, I guarantee you I wouldn't be spending the night here."

I looked him right in the eye as I said this and I wasn't sure how he would take it. No one wants to admit to themselves that they are the other man, and no one ever wants it pointed out that they are second best. But I knew that Madison was always up for a challenge and if that meant challenging him to steal me away from Brooklyn, that was a challenge I knew he'd be willing to take. It was in that intense stare that my phone rang once again.

"Hello?" it was Zach.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Brooklyn called you a million times. He's worried sick."

"Oh, shit. What did he tell you?"

"He asked me where you were and I told him you'd passed out and would call him in the morning. Tell me you aren't still with the new guy."

"Zach," I began trying to explain myself.

"I don't want to here it. Look I've been in the exact same position that Brooklyn is in right now and you at least owe him an explanation. I know you think you like this guy, but please. Brooklyn is a wreck. You need to fix that."

I didn't say anything over the phone for a while. Instead, I watched Madison get up out of bed and walk to the restroom. He kept the door open as he peed into the toilet. I liked him a lot, I thought. He was attractive, smart and funny and even hearing my best friend tell me what a dick I was being wasn't going to be enough to make me like him any less.

They say that there is no black and white, but instead a grey area that is muddled by both our expectations and the knowledge of the reasonable outcome. Still, though they say that coming to a decision is the combination of many factors, they never say what the right decision is.

I enjoy reading your responses, so please feel free to send me any comments at heavensforlife@aol.com. Thank you.