This Gift

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. HAPPY BIRTHDAY THIS GIFT. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!! YUP, YUP. THAT'S RIGHT THIS GIFT IS NOW OFFICIALLY ONE YEAR OLD! Who would've thought that I would have written this for so long? I honestly didn't have a clue where I was headed with this story when I had begun a year ago, and I can honestly tell you that I still don't have a clue a year later. I just wanna take the time to thank ALL my readers (even those who are closeted fans not nemusin' me and all). Even though I write This Gift for myself, I can truly tell you all the motivation I get from feedback does keep me going on the cloudy days. Thanks guys! (and girls)

This instalment isn't a long one, just a special celebration chapter, so I hope y'all ain't disappointed. Besides, y'all should know how hard it is to pull a chapter from me anyways.

Rumour has it that Nick and Jessica broke up... hmmm, could he be reading This Gift? Or am I just a psychic? Or better yet, maybe he knows that now he's got a chance with the man Drew, himself. Either way, I still believe it to be as I had mentioned before, a rumour. Should I be wrong, I'll admit to it... but until I get word from either Nick or Jess themselves, IT'S A RUMOUR. Speaking of Jessica, her knew album IRRESISTABLE is due out in stores today. Go pick up a copy.

I gotta say THANK YOU to MH, cause if it weren't for him, you wouldn't be reading this story in a legible format. I owe him a lot, and I can never express all my gratitude towards him. You're the bestest! (And you know I mean it!)

I want to say thank you to Ice A.K.A. Jordan, who's decided to give me a little space on her site to host my story. It's such an honour to have my work hosted on the same site as her stories. Can ya tell I'm her #1 fan? So anyways sexy, thank you, for giving me the space, and for putting up with that long-ass html coding that needs to be done to each and every chapter. It means a lot. You can GIVE MY SECTION A PEEP on her site at: http://www.envy.nu/coldasice/sprout.html or CHECK OUT HER PAGE, you won't be disappointed: http://www.envy.nu/coldasice/welcome.html Thanks sis!

Just wanted to say a HUGE thank you to two of my best friends in the world. Yeah, the sickeningly sweet and incredibly amazing couple: DLS and Matt. You're both old biddies, but I wouldn't wanna have it any other way. I love y'all.

I gotta give mention to a story, Kevin & Justin, written by Pete. I fell upon it by having the same editor (go figure), and can't get enough of it. C'mon Boo, it's been FOREVER, when's the next chapter coming out?

Another story I gotta give mention to is My Everything. Y'all should know ANY story that has to do with 98 Degrees, usually gets seen by my eyes. Slpwriter deserves props for all his hard word, and y'all should check it out.

So this is fake, I don't know the guys or their sexual preferences. Any similarities are purely coincidental, and I'd love to hear about them.

And once again HAPPY BIRTHDAY THIS GIFT!!!! <-- That's my baby!

Enjoy and write me: bigdaddycool_0813@hotmail.com

Drew

THIS GIFT -- Last Time********

"Don't touch me. You fuckin' whore! Don't fuckin' touch me!" His words stung me, creating a stabbing pain in my heart. He called me a whore. Of all people, he called me a whore. That hurt.

"Drew, just listen to me... it was an accident..."

"Andrew, just don't talk to me right now. Alright... It's always about you, isn't it? Just leave me alone and let me think things through and maybe, if you're lucky enough, I'll take your sorry-ass back." With that, he left. Just got up and walked out of the room, out of the house to the shrine in the backyard.

"Nick, we fucked up."

"Yeah... we did."

THIS GIFT -- Chapter 11*******

Silence as thick as molasses descended over the room. It was in those minutes that I knew my life had done a complete 180 on me. With a sigh I looked up at Nick's face, grimacing at what I saw.

Drew had laid a beating on Nick; that was clearly evident with one glance. "Wait here, I'm gonna go get some ice." I walked into the kitchen, searching for a cloth to put ice in. After finally finding one and filling it with ice, I made my way back to the living room, stopping first at the sliding doors and looking into the backyard.

Drew was sitting on the swing, rocking back and forth, tossing pebbles into the pond. I could hear slight sobs through the open door and my heart ached at the sound. I wanted nothing more than to be able to go out there and comfort him, but I knew that wasn't what he wanted and most likely would push him even further away.

With another drawn-out sigh, I walked back into the living room where Nick hadn't moved. I sat down on the coffee table in front of him, waiting for him to look up at me again. He wouldn't, as if he was ashamed of what he'd done. Sure, it was wrong, but I wasn't ashamed of it, and neither should he be.

Placing my index finger under his chin, I pushed up, lightly raising his face to look at me. His eyes were bloodshot, tears streaming down his cheeks. It was then that I realised that I too was crying. "Oh, Nick." I moved my hand to gingerly caress his rapidly forming bruises.

"How bad is it?" Oh my Nick, his voice was hoarse and completely drained of all energy.

"Management certainly won't like it," I said, "but it's nothing that won't heal with time." I picked up the cloth and applied it to the right side of his face while he leaned into the coolness. "What I'm worried about though, is you. How are you?"

He shrugged non-committally, "I'll be fine..."

He trailed off, and I knew what that meant; he was worried about what would happen between the two of them. To be perfectly honest, so was I. What concerned me the most was, would Drew be as forgiving as I'd hoped?

I let out another sigh, switching the ice from the right side to the left. I was seriously amazed at how Nick would just sit there and let Drew hit him -- I respected him greatly for that. "What's management gonna say?" I questioned.

"What's there to say? They'll wanna know what happened. I'll just say that Drew and I got into a fight. It's no lie... it's not like I haven't done it to him before, or vice versa. It used to happen all the time... before he met you." His voice lowered significantly while he offered this new info.

'They used to beat on each other?' I asked myself. Deciding I was way too curious to let this fall, I had to ask. "You used to beat each other?"

"Yes, and no. I mean, it's not like we did it for kicks. Drew was lonely a lot of the time, and I used to throw it in his face... I deserved everything I got. And then he found you, and he wasn't lonely any more. There was no need for him to beat on me when I threw it in his face, cause he had the one he wanted. He had you. And now..."

"Now you messed with that, too." I finished for him. Nick just nodded. "Nick, you know, you can't blame this all on yourself. I was hitting on you, I was flirting, and I certainly cannot be called innocent when it comes to this kiss. I wanted it... probably as much as you did."

"But I shouldn't have wanted it, D! That's the problem. I shouldn't have wanted to kiss you, to touch you, to be with you. You are his, not mine!" Nick stood up and began to pace the room. "I love my brother, with all my heart. I've ruined it, everything. I've ruined my bond with him, I've ruined the group, I've ruined all of our futures. And for what, a lousy kiss?"

"Nick, that kiss was far from lousy. I'm sorry you see it as such a waste. I'm sorry you don't find me worth it. And you know what, I'm sorry I made the mistake in thinking that you would understand my position. I love Drew -- that's no secret -- he's my everything, but things like this come up. Accidents happen... I'm only human. What more does he want from me?"

Again, silence befell the room as we looked at each other, our breath racing. With a sigh, Nick turned from me, "Space. I need space. Leave me alone."

"If that's what you want," and with the nod of his head, I left the room. Where I was headed, I had no clue. I just needed to get out; spend some time alone to reflect on the previous hour or so. Drew was in my sanctuary, so I needed to find some place where I could just sit, relax and hopefully find the right path to walk down.

Opening the front door, I noticed Jeff and Justin coming down the stairs. "Sup D?" Justin asked as they reached the bottom.

"Too much," I replied walking out the door with hopes of finding an answer -- any answer -- to fix my life. I walked down the street in the direction of the sun. The warm rays beating against my face reminded me of the heat Nick radiated the night before. With a sigh, tears began to fall one by one down my cheeks. I didn't bother to stop them; I just didn't care to.

My feet led me where I was going; my head not having a care or clue where that where was. All I knew was I needed to get away. Eventually, I came across a clearing, an open meadow where the houses seemed to taper off and slowly being replaced by trees.

Following a miniature pathway, I walked my way into the darkness of the trees welcoming the coolness that the shade provided. The leaves rustled above me when the breeze picked up, only to become silent once again as the breeze died. Strolling further into the woods, I found a little patch of grass that seemed like it'd be a comfortable spot to just lay down and collect my thoughts. Sitting down, I discovered I was right. The grass beneath me was soft, and cushiony -- just the perfect outdoor bed.

I lay down onto my back looking up at the treetops, watching them sway in the breeze. The rustling of the leaves became a lullaby, daring me to fall asleep. I closed my eyes, breathing deeply as I thought back to moments I had spent with Drew before.

It wasn't long before I dozed off peacefully, nature winning over my consciousness and lulling me to sleep.

I jumped awake as someone's hand clamped down on my shoulder. "What the fuck?!" I exclaimed.

"D, wake up man. It's me." Before my eyes had a chance to focus, I could tell who it was: Jeff.

"What're you doin' here?" Having just woken up, my mind wasn't functioning at one hundred percent.

"I could ask you the same thing. I came to get you... I was worried." His voice was laced with genuine concern, and as my eyes began to focus I could see the worry in his eyes.

"Well, ya found me. You ain't gotta worry." I explained, bringing my left hand up to cup his cheek. "How'd you find me anyways?" I was suddenly curious. I didn't even know where I was, how could he?

"Some man walking his dog saw you when he walked by. When Nick explained what you looked like, he was more than happy to tell him where you were." Jeff mimicked my action, bringing his hand up to cup my cheek. "Don't you ever run off again. You hear me? They're all worried and out looking for you!"

It wasn't until Jeff told me that everyone was looking for me that I realised it was much later than I had thought. Glancing around I could only see darkness and again I had to wonder how Jeff found me. I couldn't see past his face, he had no light -- it would've been damn near impossible to see me.

"They're all looking for me?" I asked, hopeful.

Jeff smiled, "Yeah, they're all looking for you."

"Do I even deserve it?" I couldn't help but feel like scum. I had broken Drew's trust, yet he was still out there looking for me somewhere. I was one incredibly lucky guy.

"D, regardless of what you've done, Drew still loves you. Never doubt that."

"But how could he?" My voice was barely a whisper.

Just as Jeff was about to answer, the stillness of the forest surrounding us was disturbed by the sound of Jeff's cell phone. Taking it out of his pocket and pressing the 'talk' button, he began, "Hello? No, I've found him... Don't worry.... I'm gonna bring him home now... Yeah, we're on our way... See you there."

He placed his phone back in his pocket and grabbed my hand to pull me up, not letting go once I was on my own two feet. Instead, he began to pull me back in the direction of their house. "C'mon, let's go home."

'Home,' I thought. 'Am I even welcome here anymore? I mean Jeff and Justin have know what had happened by now.'

Jeff's squeeze on my hand tore me from my thoughts. "What's wrong?" He was clearly concerned -- the lampposts cast just enough light for that to be evident.

"Home," I repeated, "I should go home." My voice freed the words out faster than my brain could process them.

Jeff looked at me, really looked at me. "You are home," he said simply, yet sincerely.

The tears that I had been struggling to hold, now fell. Jeff pulled us to a stop, using the hand entwined with mine to pull me to face him. "Am I?" my voice barely audible

He brought his left hand to cup my right cheek, tenderly wiping away my tears with his thumb. "D, you are home. You're welcome here, you're loved here, and there's no other place we'd want you to be."

"But Jeff... I've fucked it up!"

"No, you and Nick fucked it up. Not you, not him, but the both of you. You never stopped, and neither did he. You both knew you shouldn't have done it... but you did." He switched hands, placing his left in my right and bringing his right to wipe away my remaining tears.

"I think..." he continued, "No, I know you both wanted it. It wouldn't have happened otherwise."

"Jeff..." I was silenced by Jeff's lips on mine, his tongue begging for entrance. I don't know what it is about Jeff, but I gave in; I resigned to the sensations he gave me. From his kiss there was no doubt in my mind: I was, indeed, home.

The kiss was ended and once again he pulled me in the direction of their home -- our home -- with a smile plastered to his face.

I never knew what to expect walking through the door. I thought for sure I'd get the beats from Justin and cussed out by Drew. None of that happened, cause the guys weren't home by the time we got there. I decided that since I was out sleeping in the dirt, that I should take a shower, change into my grubbies, grab something light to eat and go to bed. Even though I had slept outside for hours, I was still exhausted, physically and emotionally.

"Jeff, I'm gonna grab a quick shower then maybe have something quick and light to eat. I'm starved."

"You want me to make you sumpin?" As he asked me that, I was reminded of Nick's 'cooking' earlier and silently debated whether or not I should agree.

Looking at the pout on his face, I cursed myself for giving in to the Timmons charm, "Yeah, sure. Just something light, though, cause I wanna go to sleep soon too -- I'm beat."

He simply nodded as I headed up the stairs to take my shower. The warm water raining down on my tight muscles was heavenly -- I honestly didn't believe it was possible to have such an orgasmic shower all by myself. It was quite weird but just what I needed: some time to take my mind off of the present situation. I certainly wasn't looking forward to going downstairs if everyone was there.

Towelling off and dressing up in my grubbies, I slowly made my way downstairs. As I was about to enter the kitchen I heard the guys talking, so I stepped around the corner to eavesdrop for a bit.

"Drew, man I'm sorry." Nick's voice full of fear. It was the first time that I had ever heard Nick show some kind of apprehension around Drew.

"I know you are Nick. I just wish that it would've happened with Jeff, or Justin. Not you, not my own bro." Drew was full of pain and it broke my heart.

"Hold up! I'm sorry that Nick kissed your man, but why you gonna bring me into this? I'm a ladies man. I ain't got nothing against y'all who prefer the... 'banana,' but don't be including me in your sick-ass fantasies." Leave it to Justin to lighten the tension in the room, causing everyone to laugh. I suppressed a slight chuckle myself.

"Oh, you know you want me," Drew joked.

"Sorry." Justin replied as I walked in. All eyes were on me, as if I was a display in a museum. I loved being the centre of attention, but not this kind of attention.

"Um... hey." I offered, hoping someone would take the bait. No one did. I thought for sure that Nick would at least talk to me, but I guess the presence of his brother limited what he wanted to do, and what he did. I sighed, "I'll just... um... grab a bite to eat, then hit the sack."

I walked by the table and looked in the fridge. Not wanting to stay in the tension-filled room for long, I grabbed an orange and bottle of water. "Goodnight," I said to no one in particular as I walked to the living room. Never in my life had I felt so alone. 'And I'm supposed to be home? Fuck this shit, I'm goin' home tomorrow.'

As I sat down on the couch, I picked up the phone book and started leafing through the pages for the number for an airline -- any airline -- that would be able to get me home. Finding a number, I grabbed the cordless off the coffee table and dialled the number.

"Thank you for calling US Airlines, Sarah speaking, how may I help you today?" Sarah seemed overly cheerful -- something I really could've done without for the time being.

"Hi, I'd like to reserve a ticket, one-way, to Ottawa, Ontario, Canada." I replied getting to business as soon as possible."

"Sure thing, and when you like to be leaving, sir?" I hated being called sir. It always made me feel incredibly old.

"Hopefully an early flight tomorrow morn..."

"We won't be needed that ticket ma'am, thanks anyways." Drew had cut me off, grabbing the phone from my hands. After he had hung up the phone, he turned to me. "You're not running away from this." His voice was cold and his eyes pierced my soul. I felt smaller than an ant under his intimidating glare.

Before I could even say a word, he had done a 180 and stalked out of the room and up the stairs to his room. What was I to do? Apparently I couldn't leave, and I wasn't going to sleep in my room cause I shared that room with Drew. It'd be awfully awkward to share a bed and not touch each other.

With a sigh, I shut the light out and lay down on the couch. There was no way I was going to get a comfortable sleep tonight. I had dozed off for what seemed like ten minutes before I was being shaken awake. "Here," Drew had come back down with a pillow and light blanket for me to use.

"Thanks," What was I to say? I sure as hell didn't know. "I love you," I whispered as he turned to walk away, unsure if he'd hear me.

He stopped, standing there for a minute before he let out a sigh. "I know. I love you, too." He continued his way up the stairs as tears began to fall from my eyes. He spoke to me, genuinely. My heart was doing flips, my stomach full of butterflies. It felt like I was falling in love all over again.

The smell of bacon and eggs filled my nostrils, rousing me from my sleep. I slept surprisingly well considering what was going on. I stumbled my way into the kitchen to see who was already up; I already knew it wasn't Nick -- there was no smoke to go with the delicious odours.

As I sat down at the table, Jeff turned from the stove and smiled at me. "G'morning."

"Good morning," I managed to mumble out, my voice still hoarse.

Jeff kinda laughed while rummaging around in the fridge. Emerging with a bottle of orange juice, he walked over to the cupboard, pulled out a glass and poured the OJ. "You always this bitchy in the morning?" He joked.

I grunted a reply, something similar to a no, as he sat down and slid the juice across the table to me. I gestured a thank you, somehow, and downed the drink in one sip. Orange juice is my coffee, my salvation.

"Listen, I'm sorry 'bout last night, D. You know, how I didn't say anything to you... I was angry with you for runnin' off stupidly. Who's knows what could've happened to you. You don't know your way around here, and I was so fuckin' worried." Jeff rarely swore, so when he did, I knew he was upset and I felt like shit once again.

"Jeff, don't be sorry. I was being stupid running off like that. I just needed time to myself." I explained.

Although he didn't say anything, there was some silent communication going on between us; a mutual understanding. Jeff's intense stare wasn't at all uncomfortable, but welcoming. His smile almost melted my stress away completely and I knew with Jeff's support, I'd be able to get through this.

"Jeff... thanks..." I was at a loss of words.

"For what?" he asked.

"For everything. For being there for Drew, for being here for me... basically just for being you." Ok, so I was getting a little emotional, could you blame me?

"Don't mention it."

Justin chose that moment to pop his head in the door, "We civilised in here?" He joked.

"Nope. Jeff and I are getting it on, wanna join?" I supplied hoping to keep the easy mood flowing.

"Um... I think you've fooled around enough." Justin was monotonous, not to mention dead serious. Jeff cringed slightly at the comment, all smiles off his face, replaced by sympathetic eyes looking back at me.

"Ok... I guess I deserve that." I muttered more to myself than the others. Jeff nudged my legs under the table, grabbing my attention. Just one look at him told me not to think like that.

"So, Jeff," Justin began, making it absolutely clear that I wasn't welcome in the conversation, "what's on the agenda for today?"

"Actually, J, I have plans with someone already. Sorry. Check with Drew or Nick."

Justin was obviously disappointed that Jeff's plans didn't involve him, but wasn't going to dwell on it. "Alright then, I'll see you later." Justin left, leaving just me and Jeff again, alone in silence once more. I sighed, hurt by Justin's coldness and now facing the fact that not only had I probably lost a boyfriend, but a friend as well.

"Go get dressed, D. We're gonna chill today." Jeff went back to the counter, filling out his plate for breakfast while I stood up with a smile.

'I haven't lost Jeff,' was all I could think about, 'I still have Jeff.' I left, headed from my room -- err, Drew's room -- to get dressed for the day. As I neared the door to the room, awkwardness came over me. I didn't want to intrude on Drew's personal space, but my clothes were in that room and I had to get to them.

Knocking quietly, I awaited a response. Not getting one, I slowly and silently opened the door, entered the room and closed the door equally as quiet.

I walked over to the dresser Drew had shown me earlier where I could borrow some clothes. Scanning the drawers, I picked out a red shirt and some khaki chinos.

Placing them on top of the dresser, I grabbed a towel that was left out and ducked in to the shower. Seeing how I had already taken one the night before, I just took a fairly quick rinse.

Getting out of the shower, I towelled myself off while walking back into the room. Figuring Drew was asleep, I wasn't worried about him getting a free show.

Standing in front of the dresser, I began to dress in Drew's clothes, using his cologne and other toiletries as well.

I took my sweet time getting dressed, enjoying the silence that surrounded me. Truthfully, I was also enjoying the closeness to Drew without having the tension that always seemed to follow lately. I finished up with a sigh, and turned to exit the room.

As I pivoted, my eyes locked on Drew's. He had been watching me the entire time, enjoying it, so it seemed. At least the tent in the bed sheets he was creating suggested it. "G'morning."

'FUCK! He knows I can't resist that just-got-up voice. He knows it!' Drew's morning voice always turned me on, and this time you could hear the lust. "Good morning." And I walked out, closing the door rapidly behind me and falling against it as it clicked shut. My heart was racing; my breathing irregular. I seriously felt sick to my stomach. 'Is this what it's gonna feel like every time I talk to him?' I asked myself.

Regaining composure, I hurried down the stairs before Drew could come out of his room. Rushing to the kitchen I found Jeff and quickly pulled him to the door, grabbing both his and my shoes on the way so we could put them on while we were on the stoop. With the door to the house behind us closed tightly, I felt safe enough to stop so we could get our shoes on before we went on our little excursion.

Jeff was giving me odd looks, wondering why we had to rush out of the house like that. I must admit that it wasn't really the most normal thing to do so I should've been anticipating some confusion. I solved it all with one word: "Drew."

Jeff nodded in understanding as he finished tying up his shoes and walked slowly towards the car. "You coming or what?"

Shaking myself from my reverie, I got up and helped myself to the passenger seat. "So, where are we going?" Naturally, I was curious.

"I dunno yet. Just thought you could get away from all of this." He gestured towards the house while he started the ignition. "Besides, when was the last time we had Drew-Jeff time?" He had a point, I couldn't remember what had happened to us. I guess I was too involved in Drew to really focus on anything else. I missed Jeff.

"Jeff, thanks again. You're always there to pick me up when I fall. What would I do with out you?" I sighed.

"Probably jack off in your room all day." He joked.

I had to laugh at that. I probably wouldn't have done it all day, but for sure three or four times. It surprised me how Jeff knew me so well. And when had I told him that jacking off was a stress relief for me?

"So, I figure let's go to the mall, shop away our blues and catch up on old times. Whadda ya say?"

"Sure thing, Jeff. I'm game." I wasn't about to disagree with him. Besides, shopping in LA sounded like fun.

We drove pretty much in silence for the first five minutes, until I reached across and turned on the radio. Backstreet Boys started to blare out of the speakers, which was all good and well for me, until I realised that it wasn't the radio playing. I tossed Jeff a questioning look which he laughed at. "What? So I like their music... they're my friends, I'm allowed. Shoot me."

Now that was something I didn't know -- I had no clue, nor would I have Guessed, that Jeff was friends with the B-boys. Quite shocking news if you ask me. "It's all good Jeff, I like 'em too... but shhh, don't tell Drew." He made a gesture that his lips were sealed -- I was safe there.

We finally got to the mall, in good time Jeff told me. The only problem now was finding a parking spot that was suitably close to the mall. We circled around four times before Jeff was actually satisfied. It was too bad he wasn't like Nick and parked as far away as possible, because we probably could have already had half an hour of shopping done already.

So with the car finally parked, we started towards the entrance. Just as I had placed my hand on the door handle to open the door, Jeff's cell rang. "Speak to me!" I heard Jeff say into the phone, and then in a quieter tone, "Drew? What's up? Yeah, he's with me. Where are you?" That peaked my curiosity a bit. "You're where?!" His voice rose a little at that. "Drew, you better not be doing what I think you're trying to do. It was an accident, things like this happen. Get over it." Jeff was starting to get frustrated, and even I wouldn't mess with a frustrated Jeff. Drew was really pushing his luck.

Jeff hung the phone up, turning it off in the process to avoid further interruption. "Sorry bout that," he explained.

"So... where is he?" I asked, not sure Jeff would tell me.

"With Lance." Apparently Jeff wasn't going to cover anything up for Drew, and I had to thank him for that.

"So he could hurt me like I hurt him?" I knew the answer already. Sure, I did like the idea of Lance and Drew together, only under different conditions: I wanted to be there... I wanted to play along, too.

"Probably... Hey! Why don't you and I go and get a tattoo... that usually always makes me feel better." His suggestion was completely out to lunch.

"Jeff, me and needles... we ain't exactly best friends. How bout I get my tongue pierced instead?"

He gave me this look that suggested I was crazy, which soon turned into a grin. "I like it! Let's go!" With that he grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowds, rushing to get there before I changed my mind. We came to a stop outside a store with all these designs on the walls, for tattoos most likely. In a showcase there was all these different kinds of earrings and piercings you could get, too.

We walked up to the counter and within seconds a guy with rings in every thinkable spot approached us. "So, what will it be today, Jeff?"

"Well Mike, my friend here wants to get his tongue pierced. Think ya can manage that?"

Mike asked me to stick my tongue out, lifting it in all these different positions to see if I could indeed get it done without hitting any veins. "Alright then buddy, just fill out this waiver and we'll get right onto that." He placed a waiver form in front of me which I quickly filled out, before I lost my nerve. I couldn't believe I was going to go through with this.

After having filled out the form, Mike escorted Jeff and I to the back into a room set for piercings. I sat on an operating-table-like thing as Jeff stood behind me, grabbing my hand for moral support.

"Now you have to stick your tongue out so I can dry it off, and once I have dried it off, you can't stick it back in your mouth, ok?" Mike began to instruct me. I did as he had asked, sticking my tongue out as he dried it completely with paper towel. My tongue felt like sandpaper with no moisture on it and I desperately wanted to pull it back in my mouth, but Jeff was behind me and I couldn't let him down. Besides, I had always wanted to mangle my body.

With my tongue now dry, Mike took a marker, and drew a dot on the top and bottom of my tongue, lined the clamp up, and with a count to three pushed the needle through my tongue. After fastening both beads I was done, and feeling weaker than I had ever felt in my life. "You ok, D?" Jeff asked me.

"Yeah, just feelin' a little woozy. That's all," I explained.

"That's normal. It has to do with the sugar levels in your blood and that, you'll be fine." Mike explained.

With my tongue now pierced, Jeff and I walked out to continue our shopping. Since the place was filling up, Jeff decided to get a tattoo later -- sometime around closing. "How ya feeling?" He asked again.

"I'm good, dus' a widdwe swowwen." I managed to get out.

Jeff laughed, "Don't talk much, it'll heal faster."

We did some shopping, Jeff doing most of the talking. I mumbled every now and then, and surprisingly, Jeff understood everything I mumbled. Lunchtime soon came, and I soon realised what a mistake piercing my tongue was. I wasn't going to be able to eat anything.

I grabbed a seat at a table, and Jeff unloaded all his bags, dropping his cell phone on the table. "I'm gonna go get something to eat. You want anything? Soup? Water?" He asked.

"Wa..." I began.

"Gotcha. I'll be back."

With Jeff in line to get food, I had nothing to do but look around at the people in the mall. Even that was only interesting for some time. I picked up Jeff's phone and turned it on. It did some things, it beeped a couple of times telling him that he had missed some calls, had some voice messages, and some text messages. Knowing that you needed a password for voice messages, I decided to glance at his text messages.

I went to the inbox and scanned the messages noticing Nick had left him one, Justin, Brian from the Backstreet Boys, and surprisingly JC. Furrowing my brows, I selected JC's message and began to read it.

"Jeff, Drew kissed Lance. You better come and get him NOW! Before I do some damage. JC."

JC's message was short and to the point. And I knew, despite my anger towards Drew for kissing Lance to get back at me, we seriously needed to go and get Drew. Jeff had just returned to the table as I began to gather everything. "What's wrong D?"

"Dew." I explained, shoving the phone in his face. Jeff quickly read the screen and began to gather the rest of our bags. We rushed to the car, tossed our bags in the trunk and raced to JC's house. We both knew about JC's jealous rages, and neither of us wanted Drew to become victim. "What would make him do that?" I asked, forcing my tongue to pronounce every word.

"To hurt you. He probably never thought of JC." Which was true, he never really thought anything out before he went through with it. That's what Nick was for. He always approved or disapproved Drew's plans.

Jeff took the expressway, weaving in and out of traffic, driving as fast as he felt was safe. We made it to the Chasez household in record time to find Lance on the stoop pounding on the door, begging for entrance. "JC! LET ME IN!" He was screaming. "DON'T HURT HIM!" When he turned and saw me and Jeff, he stopped the pounding, rushing up to me. "You gotta help him... get him out of there D. The sooner the better." Lance was out of breath, who knew how long he had been banging on that door.

Seeing how I couldn't really talk, Jeff went up to the door. "JC! IT'S ME, JEFF!" He screamed through the door. A loud bang sounded through the door making me start to panic. "JC! C'MON! LEMME IN!" Jeff became frightened by the slight scream of pain that followed that bang.

Another bang was heard and I couldn't take anymore of this shit. Walking to the side of the house, I picked up a rock and threw it through a window. The sound of the shattering glass was deafening.

With the barrier between broken, I made my way through the house until I came to the living room, completely destroyed. Drew was in a corner and JC was continually laying punches on him. Just as JC was about to throw another punch, I lunged at him knocking him off balance. "What the fuck?!" He yelled.

Taking all the concentration in the world, I managed to enunciate perfectly, "Don't fucking lay a hand on him again!"

Jeff and Lance had crawled through the window as I had minutes ago, and were now in the living room as well, restraining JC. I made my way over to Drew who was nothing short of a blood bath. It was as if he was barely hanging on to life. "Drew?" I breathed.

"I'm..." he coughed, "...sorry." He struggled to get the words out, obviously in incredible pain.

Jeff and Lance were calming JC down while I picked Drew up and took him to the car. Placing him in the backseat, I buckled the belt around him and headed back into the house finding them where I had left them -- in the living room. "I'ww pay for da window," I said walking closer, "I'm sowwy bout doing it, but I had no oda choice. And JC?" I asked, waiting for him to look at me. He did, tears falling down his cheeks still flushed red with anger.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry for knocking you down too... you would've done the same for Lance. You know."

He just nodded, knowing I spoke the truth. "I'm sorry too, D. For hurting you by hurting him; I didn't know what else to do."

I nodded, understanding him completely. We embraced quickly before I announced we had to leave to get Drew cleaned up and make sure he was alright. Lance explained he would call in emergency service for the window, and send the bill my way.

Back in the car, we drove in silence. What was to be said? The ride took forever, stretching on to what seemed like eternity. The entire way, I was being eating at by my emotions. I loved Drew but was so incredibly furious with him. How could he do that? Revenge was sweet, but not if it's gonna get the shit beat out of you.

Finally back at the house, I pulled Drew out of the backseat and headed for the bathroom. We passed Nick on the way upstairs. He gave us a questioning look which I quickly shrugged off. He knew I'd explain later.

In the bathroom, I stripped Drew of his blood-soaked clothes, revealing his beaten body. He had several lacerations but nothing too serious; nothing that wouldn't heal without stitches. His ribs appeared to be bruised and his flinches when I went to touch them only proved my hypothesis correct. I began to wipe the blood up with a warm cloth while Drew stood there wobbling back and forth.

"Drew, how could you be so stupid. You could've been killed... I could've lost you!" I screamed somewhat silently at him.

"I wanted to hurt you... like you hurt me." He whispered.

"I think you've done more than that..." I trailed off.

The rest of the cleaning was done in silence, nothing said between the two of us. We were safe in our own thoughts and we both knew a decision about something had to be made, and made soon.

"Drew,"

"Andrew," we both said in unison.

"You go first," I suggested.

He didn't argue. "Andrew, I love you, and I know you made a mistake, but you still hurt me so much that words don't do justice. I think...

TBC