Wuz up y'all? The positive feedback I keep getting, is doing me great wonders for wanting to continue. I love it all, and appreciate it greatly. To all of you who've written me, I thank you with all my heart.
Thank you's gotta go out to the disgustingly sweet couple Matt and D (you PUSSY!!!) They've been there for me lots and I love them for it. You gotta check out their stories Search And Rescue (Matt) and Brian & Me (D). To Missy, thanks for putting up with my bitching! You truly are the bestest. Adam, hang in there, we'll pull through. Zach, what can I say, you never leave me without a smile, you're a sweetie! (Check out Tearful Dreamer too!)
I've got to apologise to Lucas, I know I've done some things that aren't the greatest lately, but do know that I'm sorry for hurting you. Really, I am. And I'm willing to face the consequences.
I should give thanks to the person who makes this story just a little bit easier to read. Starting this chapter, my buddy 'MH' has been proofing this, and adding his input. Thanks for taking the time, cause trust me, I know you don't have to!
I'm dying to hear from y'all, so let me know what you think of my first attempt. I wanna hear it all, good and bad, so leave me a message at bigdaddycool_0813@hotmail.com. Thanks.
Now I gotta tell you that I don't know anything when it comes to the PERSONAL LIVES of the guys of 98°. As much as I'd love for one of 'em, or two, or three, or all four of 'em to be gay, odds are, they probably aren't. Too bad, eh? Drew's pretty hot. :) So, what I'm saying is this is COMPLETELY fiction. That means not true for the slow ones out there.
Now if you're not supposed to read this, because you're too young, or you're not allowed in the area you inhabit, please don't. If you do, and you're not supposed to, do us both a favour, and don't get caught. But I still gotta say; do NOT read this if you're not allowed. Got it? Thought so.
THIS GIFT -- Chapter 4*****
"Guess so," he said. We both stared at each other, looking into each others eyes, communicating silently. Ever so slowly we leaned into each other. I began licking my lips, and closed my eyes, preparing for the kiss. I was so close to him, I could smell the sweet fragrance of his cologne, and was ever so thankful I was sitting down or I'd have fallen to my knees. This was just so perfect. I leaned in even more and... opened my eyes, just in time to see Drew get out of the car.
He closed the door, mumbling something under his breath. My heart sank. It was like I had placed my dignity on the line, and was so rudely rejected. For some reason, I needed to kiss him, right then. It was just something I needed to do. Now I truly knew how Drew felt when I left him in the bed the other night. It wasn't a good feeling either.
With a deep sigh, I opened my door and stepped out, not even looking at Drew waiting for me at the front of the van. I closed the door and activated the alarm, making the headlights flash on then off. I walked towards the restaurant with my head down, stopping only to wait for Drew to catch up. Not a word was said between us.
I walked into the restaurant, and was immediately greeted by Maria -- she was the hostess for the night. "Drew!!"
"Hey Maria," I tried my best to sound happy.
"What's wrong?" she asked immediately, sounding concerned.
"Nothing." I wasn't really convincing.
"If you say so," she sighed. "Now, would you like me to show you to your seat?"
I just nodded, as Drew and I began to follow her to the back of the restaurant, making small talk the whole time. Vanessa had reserved us a very private table. In fact, it was completely isolated in a room of it's own. I was thankful, but at the moment, I wished it was a little more public. The tension between Drew and I was just too thick for any real conversation.
I grabbed my seat, and Drew chose his across from me. Neither of us looked at the other. Maria sensed the tension, and tried to help me out a bit. "Um, Drew, would you like me to get Vanessa?"
"Sure," I nodded. Soon enough, she was on her way to get Vanessa for me. I hadn't seen her in a while, so I was looking forward to it. The only sad part about our reunion was that instead of being excited to show her my new- found love, I couldn't even look at him. When I even so much as tried to glance in his direction, my heart felt like it was being squished by some kind of vice.
Barely three minutes later, Vanessa came around the corner, with a smile planted on her face. It was always good to see her smile. I stood up and embraced her in a hug, kissing her on the cheek. "Hey girl! It's so nice to see you."
"It's nice to see you, too. How're ya doing?" she was a little excited, and, to tell the truth, so was I.
I sighed, "I'm alright, I guess. Things haven't been the greatest lately."
"Yeah, I know how that can be." Her face showed genuine understanding.
She sensed the mood becoming one of sadness and tried her best to change it, however, she brought up the wrong topic. "So! Who's you're um... guest?" I just smiled at how she wasn't sure what she should call him.
I turned to look at Drew. It took all of my will power not to cry. Instead of crying, this humongous lump formed in my throat. I tried to speak, but my voice failed me. I looked into Drew's eyes, and in that split second, everything I needed to tell him was said. His facial features softened, and I knew he felt bad for what he had done.
"I'm Drew, his boyfriend." Drew said, standing and offering his hand.
"Oh, so you're the one he was telling me about... " she trailed off. "What's wrong?"
I couldn't say a word. the lump was still there, and it just wouldn't leave. Once again, Drew came to my rescue. "We kinda had a little disagreement before we came, and I just haven't gotten to tell Andrew how sorry I am yet."
"Oh, in that case, I'll leave you two alone." Vanessa gave me one last hug, and whispered in my ear, "He's cute!" Of course that made me laugh -- she always can make me laugh. She walked away, leaving us standing there in silence.
Looking at him, my eyes started to tear. I willed them away, they just wouldn't listen. Slowly one fell, then another, and yet another. Drew grabbed me up in his arms, making me feel secure. He wiped at my tears, whispering in my ears how sorry he was.
It was the most incredible feeling I could've ever felt at that moment. I knew I was really falling in love, not just a 'yeah-yeah, I love you' kinda thing, but a real 'incredibly amazing out-of-this-world true to your word' kinda thing. Something I never though I'd find in someone during this lifetime; it just always seemed impossible.
I leaned into the sensations, enjoying the feel of his arms around me. "Now, I know this is gonna sound like a dumb question, cause I know what's wrong, but I don't know what's wrong. You know what I mean? So, what's wrong?" Drew asked, pulling away so he could look me in the eyes.
I sighed, "Yeah, I know what you mean." With another sigh, I began my explanation. "Drew, you know this isn't easy for me, this whole relationship thing. I wasn't used to it. You're the first guy I've actually even attempted being with. I would look before, but I wouldn't touch. Kinda just like window- shopping. But then you came along, and broke all the rules.
"The first night I slept with you, I didn't do it purposely. I actually forgot you were in my bed. But then, after, when I woke up, it was the most incredible feeling. I felt warm, safe, and... loved. Never in my life had I thought it possible to feel like that, especially not when the person affecting me like that was a guy. I have to admit, at first, it was a little weird. Now, I couldn't see it any other way.
"Drew, when you just walked out of the van tonight, leaving me there..." I trailed off, tears falling down from remembering how I'd felt. We'd let go of each other the minute I started explaining.
"I'm sorry, take your time. We need to talk about this." Drew softly reassured me.
I struggled to gain control over my emotions. "It hurt. All I wanted at that moment was to be kissed, by you. Somehow I just needed to know you cared. I wanted to be reminded of exactly why I would be proud to show you to Vanessa. When you pulled away, I had my doubts of even coming in. I felt like driving away, leaving you here. I felt hurt, dejected, downhearted, lonely and unloved. God, it was the worst feeling I could've ever felt. And you caused it. YOU! The last person I thought could possibly make me feel like that." Anger started to rise in my voice.
"You think I wanted to pull away? You think that I wasn't hurt by that decision? I'm trying to watch out for me. I don't want to be hurt. I'm afraid of opening up to you. I'm afraid you'll do to me what you did the other night. How do you think I felt then?" His voice was just short of booming.
"Um, is everything alright in here?" I turned around to see a very concerned Vanessa standing in the doorway. I realised how unfair it was to her to be arguing in her restaurant, especially since it was an argument we should've been doing in the privacy of our own home.
"I'm sorry V, we shouldn't be doing this here. I know we didn't eat or anything, but I just can't stay here and continue this." I reached into my back pocket for my wallet. Looking through it, I pulled out two twenties and a ten. "Here, for the reservation and all." I offered the money to her.
"Don't be silly, you didn't even eat," she tried to reason with me. Unfortunately for her, I wasn't in a reasoning mood.
"V, please take it. You know you could've made money off of someone more worthy of this room." Once again, I offered her the money. Again, she kindly refused.
I was becoming more and more upset. "V, please, just take it." She could see the tears starting in my eyes, and decided it wise not to refuse again. She reluctantly took the money from my trembling hand.
She glanced at my face while taking the money, and pulled me into a hug. "Don't worry, things'll get better. Just talk to him. I can see you both love each other. Don't let little things get in the way of something good -- You'll miss out," she whispered into my ear.
I just nodded, and headed for the door, Drew trudging behind me. Upon reaching the driver's side door, I deactivated the alarm, and hit the unlock button on my key-chain, unlocking the doors (Well Duh!). As I drove us home, not a word was spoken. I guess Drew didn't want to upset me while I was driving. Go figure.
We arrived at our house, only to find it completely black. not a light was on. 'Just great,' I thought 'a night I don't want to be alone with him, and they go out.'
I unlocked the door, after having some difficulty in putting the key into the lock because it was so dark. Walking into the house, I flipped on the light switch and threw my keys onto the table beside the closet. I kicked off my shoes, and headed to the living room, turning only to tell Drew, "Come, we gotta talk."
Drew only nodded his head, bending over to untie his shoes and place them on the mat -- anything to take up more time to avoid the conversation. He finally walked into the living room, just as I grabbed a seat on the couch. He trudged his way over to the recliner. "What?" Drew's tone was icy.
"What do you mean 'what'?"
"Just what I said, what. What do you want to talk about?"
"Like you don't know." It's not like he didn't know what we needed to talk about.
"Honestly, I don't."
I shook my head with disbelief. "You can't be serious. Are you that dumb that you can't even remember what we were talking about less than an hour ago?"
"So, now you're calling me dumb?" Anger was clearly rising in his voice. I couldn't blame him, I chose the wrong words, but I wasn't gonna take them back.
"Did I stutter? You heard me."
"Just tell me what you want to know, so I can get to bed." He said.
"I wanna know why you backed away tonight. It hurt me." I said pain evident in my voice.
"It hurt you?! It hurt you?! Do you even know how much it hurt me? Are you so fucking selfish that everything has to be you, you, you? Fuck, you don't understand a damn thing, do you?" His voice was booming, carrying throughout the house.
"The other night, that first night, when I tried to kiss you, I put it all on the line, and you rejected me! You left me there. Alone! I was hurt. I was more than hurt... but still, I forgave you and went to get your sorry ass from church. I'm sorry that, now that you're ready, I can't be ready to open up to you. Well, now that you think you're ready.
"I know how you are, you'll be hot one minute, the next ice. You like to tease, and then rub it in my face. You're a fucking selfish bastard! If anything doesn't go the way you want it to..."
Tears were falling down my cheeks at the sound of Drew's callousness; I couldn't believe I was hearing this. I wasn't just going to sit there and do nothing. I stood, pacing the room a bit. "Just shut the fuck up! You know, ever since you've come into my life, there's been nothing but ruckus. I can't keep a straight thought. I'm not exactly sure what you expect from me, but you have to understand, I'm human. I'm fucking human! I make mistakes too! And obviously, taking you into my house was one of them!!" I couldn't control my voice any longer.
"If that's the way you feel, you can have your fucking house. It's not like it did me any good; all it's caused is pain! You know, you're an asshole. Really, you are. Fuck you. Fuck you and all your bullshit! You want your fucking house, you can have it! After tomorrow's concert, I'm gone!"
"Good," I walked to my bookshelf and picked up the 98° CDs off of the shelf, and tossed them at him. "Get out! And take your damn CD's with you! I don't listen to shit. definitely not from the likes of you!"
Looking past Drew, I realised our argument had woken up the others. Originally I had thought they went out; apparently they'd just turned in for the night. Nick was the first down the stairs, followed by Jeff. Justin soon came too, rubbing his still tired eyes. "What's going on in here?" Nick hesitantly asked.
"Nothing." I replied, turning to conceal my tears.
"Bullshit," Nick countered, "no one screams like that for nothing."
"I'm leaving tomorrow, after the concert." Drew said flatly. "I can't stay here with this asshole any longer than that."
Jeff's eyes popped open at the name Drew had called me, obviously shocked at the sudden change in mood. "What?"
"You heard me Jeff, I can't stay with this asshole any longer. I'd be setting myself up. I just can't!"
Nick, clueless to what had happened, just nodded, "Fine, I'll call management tomorrow, and let them know." He glanced back at me, giving me an apologetic look.
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to sleep." Drew pushed passed Justin and Jeff, and made his way up the stairs. With a sigh, I explained my urge to sleep too. They understood, not asking me any questions, just expressing their concern, as they too were off to return to their beds.
I knew I couldn't go sleep upstairs. Even though it was my bed and I was angry, I couldn't be so cruel as to kick him out of it. Besides, just sleeping in it would remind me of him, and what we had shared on it. The close times, however few. But still, that bed was just him -- a permanent reminder of how things had been.
I grabbed a blanket from the linen closet, and a pillow, and returned to the recliner. I sat in the chair, pulled the lever to raise the foot rest, and pushed the back down, leaving me in somewhat of a lying position. I placed the pillow behind my head, and covered myself up.
My thoughts focused on one thing: the argument that had just occurred. I hated it when someone was mad at me. But even more, I hated it being him. 'Why should he be mad? I'm the one he hurt.' I thought, knowing damn well I had hurt him too. 'I am selfish; all I do is think about myself. He's right.' Sighing with the realisation, I wiped at the tears falling freely down my cheeks. My eyes hurt -- I had been crying since the whole thing started.
As the thoughts circled through my head, and the tears fell, I finally managed to fall asleep.
Tossing and turning, I awoke, discovering that I had managed to wriggle my way down the recliner and was nearly on the floor. I pushed myself up, and walked to the kitchen to fetch myself a glass of water. I sat at the table, lost in thought. Running my hands through my hair, I took notice of the beads of sweat that spread across my forehead. 'Must've had a nightmare,' I thought.
I was so tired, yet I couldn't sleep. I was still upset about the previous occurrences. He was so callous, maliciously accusing me of being selfish; but I was selfish, and I knew it. It was just so hard to admit. Never once this whole time I'd spent with the guys had I thought of anyone beside myself. It was always me, me, me.
Sitting there, having my revelation, another thought hit me like a brick: I couldn't go to their concert tomorrow. I just wouldn't be able to sit there and watch him. After what he said, I didn't want to have anything to do with him. I quickly grabbed a pad of paper from one of the drawers and a pen from the top of the fridge. Sitting back down at the table, I began to write:
Dear Nick, Justin, and Jeff,
You know, after some recent events, I have to apologise - I
won't be able to attend your concert. I know it was arranged
for me to be able to go, but I just can't. There's other
things I have to do, and certain things I don't wish to put
up with. Since you said it was up to me to decide where the
money for the concert goes, I'm deciding on the "Help The
Homeless Children" campaign. It deals with helping the
homeless children get an education and pursue their dreams.
They have a right to dream too. I know y'all are leaving,
and I'm sorry I won't be here to see you off. I'll be at
work, so just stop by before you get on the plane. K?
Promise me you will. I'm sorry it has to be like this, but
it has to. For my sake. Please understand, it was great
having y'all here these couple of days, and it's just too
bad you have to go earlier than expected. Don't forget 'bout
me, you got my number and email address, keep in touch. Much
love, D
I quickly finished up my glass of water, and headed upstairs to shower. I couldn't even find the courage to use my shower, so I cut through Nick's room to use the guest's shower. I washed up, towelled myself dry, and even though I'm not the same size as Nick, stole a change of clothes from him. I was sure he'd understand. It actually looked good on me. I fixed my hair, then left the bathroom, cutting through Nick's room once again.
This time, as I trekked back to the door, something grabbed my arm, making me jump and scream. Looking down at my arm, I regained control over my nerves as I saw Nick's hand clamped around it. "Can we talk?" he whispered.
My only reaction was to nod -- I just couldn't form any words. I sat down on the bed beside him, and he sat up, taking a seat beside me. "D, what happened tonight? You must be pissed, you didn't shower in your own shower, and even stole some clothes from me, just so you wouldn't have to go into the same room as him. What's wrong?"
The concern in his voice was enough to bring the tears to my eyes once again. As much as I willed them away, they wouldn't follow the orders. My head fell into my hands as I began sobbing. Nick wrapped his arms around me, rocking me, soothing all my pain. "It's alright D, it's OK."
After a couple minutes, I finally managed to grab a hold of myself and wiped the tears from my cheeks. "Nick... he was so mean and heartless. He's right, I am selfish. I never once thought of him. Never. I just don't know what to think anymore. I like him. I like him a lot." The tears started to invade my calmness again.
"And he likes you too. You guys just have to work things out. It's all just a misunderstanding."
"No, it wasn't a misunderstanding. He was right, and now I know what he really thinks of me." I said, grabbing a hold of my voice.
Nick sighed, "If you say so."
"Oh, and Nick, I'm not going to the concert tomorrow."
"But management had it all set up for you to go!" he exclaimed.
"I know, and I couldn't be more grateful. I just can't. I can't face him. Please understand." I looked at him with puppy dog eyes, how could he resist?
There was hurt in his eyes, but his facial expression softened as he raised his hand to wipe the streaks off my face the tears had caused. "I understand. We'll miss ya though. Will we see ya before we leave?"
"Probably not. I left you a note downstairs explaining I'm gonna be at work. Stop by before you go, to say goodbye. Please. If you don't, I'll understand."
Nick grabbed me into a tight hug. Then I was up and walking down the stairs, heading out the door to go to work in Nick's clothes. Pretty soon, they'd be the only souvenir I would have of them spending time with me. It was sad to think, but inevitable nonetheless.
I hopped in the van, turned on the ignition, and backed out of the driveway, away from Drew and my painful world. The sun hadn't even risen yet, and being just after four in the morning, the traffic was extremely light. I couldn't have been more relieved that I didn't have to deal with the traffic; the last thing I needed was to be the cause of road rage.
The drive there was very uneventful. What would you expect on an early Saturday morning? I pulled into the parking area; yes, the parking area. I was still so upset that I was willing to waste some cash on a parking spot. The parking attendant did a double take as he saw me approach his booth to grab my ticket. I'd served him many times over, and we went through the conversation many times about why I didn't drive to work. He knew I didn't want to waste the money, so something had to be up. He gave me a sympathetic look, handed me my ticket, and I went to park the van in a spot close to the terminal.
I knew I was going to get it from Amanda when I walked into those doors. My manager always felt guilty whenever she couldn't give me days off, and when she finally could, I was going to be walking into work. I braced myself for the worst, pushing open the 'Employees Only' door, and walked to the change room. "Andrew?"
'Damn, spotted already!' I thought to myself. I stopped dead in my tracks, pivoted to the left, and came face to face with my manager. She didn't look too pleased to see me, but there was compassion written all over her face, so I knew she wouldn't be mad for long. "What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here." She questioned.
I sighed, "I know. Things just came up, and I was hoping you'd understand. I just need to keep myself occupied."
"Come," she said, pointing to the direction of her office, "we're gonna talk."
Reluctantly, I followed her to the office, and held the door for her as we both walked through. She sat down in her chair, and I sat opposite her in the nice comfy chair she had there. I felt like a little kid being sent to the principal's office. "Spill it," she said while unplugging the telephone. She always liked to give me her undivided attention when we talked about personal matters. Even though she was my boss, we were close, on a level unlike any others among the workers of Tim Hortons.
Again, I sighed. I didn't know how to start, but then figured I should just tell her the truth. If there was anyone I could tell, it would be her. "Amanda, I have to tell you something... " I started, and trailed off.
"Well, DUH!" she tried to ease the tension that filled the room.
I smiled at the humour, but it quickly faded. "Amanda, it's serious." She knew the drill, all smiles fell off her face, and worry sunk in. We'd only been here a couple of times before, but she knew when I said it was serious, I really meant it. Rarely was I ever serious at work, unless there was something wrong.
After receiving a nod to show she was ready, I continued. "Amanda, you know how I asked to have time off on my birthday to go see that concert I was listening to?" She just nodded at the recollection. "Well, after their concert, they came here to fly off. I served them... I couldn't believe it was them at first, but I served them. When I asked them if there'd be anything else, one of them, Drew, asked for some company while they waited for their plane. My shift was done, and Julie finally showed up, so I told him to let me cash out and change.
"I changed, cashed out, and went into the food court to find 'em. There he was, asleep on a table. I figured he must've been tired after a performance, so I just let him sleep, and would wake him when they called his plane or the other guys came for him. I sat there, reading my stories; you know the ones you always see me reading.
"Then an announcement came on, saying a flight was cancelled, and after grabbing the ticket from his pocket, I realised it was their flight. Amanda, he looked so cute just lying there on the table. I let him sleep a bit more, and then his brother came to tell us, well me that their flight was cancelled. He asked me to recommend a good hotel. Like I knew of any, and you know how lonely I've been since I moved, so I offered my house to them. He wasn't quick to accept the invitation, but he finally caved.
"Drew and I slept in the same bed that night. And... well... Amanda, I liked it." I looked up and saw her eyes widen, then return to normal. I knew it'd be a shock, even to her. I decided to go on anyways.
"And for the next couple of days, I spent time with them, and I really started to like Drew, and I think he did too. We kissed a couple of times. And then their management hooked them up with another concert, to buy them more time here. That's why they asked for me to have the time off, they wanted me to go.
"I got into a fight with Drew, and the bastard said some shit I don't even want to talk about. Just please, don't get mad at me for coming in to work. If I didn't come here, I would've went else where, and who knows what would've happened." Finished with my sad story, I looked up at her once again.
"Their concert is tonight?" she asked.
"Yup."
"Alright, I'm not happy that you're working, but if it'll help you, fine." She was always so mother-like to me, worrying about me before my job. I sighed, relieved that she wasn't going to peck my eyes out. Not that I thought she would anyways. She plugged the phone back in, and I figured that meant the conversation was over. I stood up, and she was quick to follow. I had just opened the door when she told me to close it again.
"So... you're gay?" she asked with a level of uncertainty.
"Um... I'm thinking more along the lines of bi? I mean, I still like girls, but Drew shed light on a new path for me. You know what I mean?"
"Yeah, I think I do. But where does this leave you and Drew? What's between you guys?" I saw the look of concern on her face as she asked it, and the tears began to well up.
"What was between us?" I answered, shrugging my shoulders, opening the door and heading to the change room to get changed. I knew it was a harsh way to end the conversation, but I couldn't stand there without crying. My walk was one of pure misery. I cried the entire way, my head down so no one would notice. I walked into the change room, closed the door behind me, leaned against it and slid to the floor. I sat there a good ten minutes, just crying from all the hurt and pain.
With a sigh, I picked myself up off the floor and walked to my locker. Unlocking it, I started to strip out of Nick's clothes, and dressed in the Timmy's nasty-ass ones. I quickly went to the sink, and washed my face, trying to erase all evidence of tears but my red eyes still gave me away. With another deep sigh, and a shrug of my shoulders, I walked out of the change room to go and start my shift.
Walking through the doors leading to the working area was going to be another story. They'd all want to know exactly why I had shown up for work when they all knew I had a day off. I inhaled deeply, opened the door, closed my eyes, and braced myself for a bunch of screams being directed at me.
Slowly opening my eyes, I saw them all staring at me, open-mouthed. I counted down in my head, '3-2-1...'
"What are you doing here?!"
"Are you crazy?!"
"Are you well?"
I opened my mouth to try and speak, but Traycee shushed me by firing off her own onslaught. "They finally give you a day off, and you come in. What the hell is your problem?" she said, pushing me back out the doors I had just walked in. "No, get out. Go home. You're not staying."
"Traycee," I began, but she wouldn't hear of it. She continued screaming at me, only stopping when she noticed the tears. All anger from her face faded as she embraced me in a hug, assuring me everything would be fine, though she didn't know what was wrong. It was funny how every time something was wrong, Traycee could drown them away in her hugs. Too bad she was taken, and pregnant. Not something I could've dealt with just yet. As much as I would love to have a child, I couldn't even keep a relationship straight, forgive the pun, how would I raise a child?
She wiped my tears, telling me jokes to get me laughing again. She always could make me laugh, cause she told the stupidest jokes that only made her laugh. I really only laughed at her laughing, but she didn't know. We walked back into the work area, and everyone could tell the instant I walked in that something was wrong. They walked up to me, each hugged me, never once asking what was wrong -- I loved 'em for it. We all had our problems from time to time, and just being with each other, not even having to talk about it always seemed to help.
The day was going good. No bad customers, nobody bitched at me -- it was going good. Then the end of the night came; something I was really looking forward to, but dreading at the same time. Nick slowly walked up to the counter. "Hey," he said, "can you come out for a couple of minutes?"
"Yeah, since I'm not scheduled to work, it's all good. Give me a sec." I looked at my co-workers and gave them a look assuring them I'd be fine. Somehow they knew deep down that the problem lay within Nick, or someone with Nick. I walked around, and out that infamous 'Employee Only' door.
As soon as I got out the door, Nick embraced me in tight hug. I must admit, it was great to be enveloped in his strong arms. I sighed feeling relief for the couple of minutes I was in his arms. "We missed ya," he whispered in my ear.
"How'd it go?"
"Great, it was a huge success. We even had some of the homeless kids come to the concert. You should've been there. Everyone was asking 'bout you, since it was all in your name."
"What'd ya say?" I asked.
"We said you were sick and needed to take some time to get better."
I just nodded my head in understanding. "Thanks. So, where's Jeff and Justin?"
"They're checking in the luggage, but they have to wait in line a bit though."
"What airline?"
"Air Canada, why?" he asked confused.
"I got hook-ups, let's go get 'em. They ain't gotta wait in line."
We walked towards the Air Canada section of the airport, looking for the guys. There they were, all three of 'em. As soon as I saw Drew, I looked to my feet. I couldn't bear to even look at him. "You alright?" Nick asked.
"Yeah, I'll be fine." With that, we walked up to the guys, and headed around to my friend's desk where their luggage was instantly checked in, and sent on to the plane.
With that done, Jeff and Justin both hugged me, wishing me well, as I did them. Their flight was called not long afterwards, and they had to leave. I still never glanced up at Drew once; never even said a thing to him, or about him. I walked them to their gate, and then came the teary-eyed part -- the good-bye.
I hugged Jeff, thanking him for listening to all my shit, and just for being him. He told me it was nothing and to feel better soon. Then came Justin. Again we embraced in a hug. "Take care J, and try not to eat to much... you're gonna get fat!" He just laughed it off, and wished me well. Next up was Nick, and we hugged like there was no tomorrow. Even though Nick and I never spent that much time together, I was going to miss him a lot. I told him to keep in touch, and if he didn't that I'd take serious action. He assured me it wouldn't be necessary, and then glanced over his shoulder at Drew. "What're ya gonna do with him?"
"I guess I should say something, eh?"
He just nodded, and I slowly walked over to Drew, head back down. I raised my head, and looked him in the eyes for the first time since the argument. I went on defensive mode, and showed no emotion in my eyes. "So, I guess I'll see you later, eh?"
"Yeah, guess so." He mumbled
"Well, take care."
"You too."
That was all that was said between us. They were pushed onto the plane and after our reassurances of keeping in touch, they were gone. I did a 180, and headed back to work, with the occasional stray tear making its way down my face. I didn't bother to wipe them, figuring everyone had seen this scene before of someone getting emotional cause their friends or family left.
I finally made it back to Timmy's to three people with questioning eyes. Business was dead, and there wasn't anyone coming, save the odd customer. I figured I'd tell them. They'd find out eventually, and I knew they'd take it better than my mom probably would. So I relayed my story to them, getting nothing but support. "So, was that him?" Kim, one of the trio asked, thinking Nick was Drew.
"Nope." I shook my head. "That was Nick, his brother."
"Oooh, he's a hottie!" she exclaimed.
"And taken."
"By who?"
"Jessica Simpson." I replied. I had always talked about Jessica at work. I admired her as an artist and thought her to be one hot girl!
"Oh, her," was all Kim could mutter out, obviously jealous. The green- eyed monster will attack anyone.
"So, that's it. They're gone forever?" Traycee was always curious.
"Naa, they'll keep in touch. I'll see 'em again."
"Drew too?" she winced, fearing she'd hit a sore spot.
"Unfortunately, yeah," a hint of sadness in my voice.
"You really like him, don't ya?" Kim was quick to pick up.
I just nodded. What could I say that wouldn't bring me to tears? They all just explained how sorry they were, and tried to cheer me up. You gotta give 'em credit for trying. They were the bestest co-workers you could ever ask for. I was a pretty lucky guy. Not only did I have a more than cool boss, but I had some real good friends to work with.
I went home that night to a cold and lonely house. It felt weird not having the guys there anymore; it was just so quiet. I know it may sound dumb, and even a little corny, but I missed the guys so much, that picked up their CD, '98° And Rising.' From off the floor, and placed it in my player. Just picking the CD off the floor reminded me of when I threw it at Drew, and thus reminded me of the argument. Though the thought of the argument angered me, the sound of Nick's voice added a little comfort to the house.
I was beat and all I wanted to do was go to sleep. I walked up to my bedroom door, which was closed. I never left the door closed, unless I was in it. I soon remembered exactly who was in the room last and, therefore, why it was closed. I went to open the door. As soon as the flesh of my hand touched the cool metal of the door knob, tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn't do it. I couldn't even go in my own room! How pathetic!
I removed my hand and backed away from the door. I looked down at the clothes I was wearing -- Nick's clothes. I was reminded of how secure and safe I felt in his arms. That's when I decided where I'd sleep. I went into the guestroom where Nick had slept, and slid into bed, not even stripping down to my briefs. I pulled the covers over me, and sighed I could still smell faint traces of Nick's cologne. I was safe, at least for the night.
God only knew what was in store for me the next week, my first post-98° week I'd be lonely, and I knew that I'd eventually have to go into my room. I couldn't wear Nick's clothes forever, and all mine where inside. I shuddered at that thought. It reminded me too much of Drew, and I wasn't willing to experience that at the moment. I fell asleep, tears streaking down my cheeks once more and hugging the pillow with Nick's scent tightly, as if my life depended on it.
TBC...
Don't forget to write me, bigdaddycool_0813@hotmail.com