This Strange World Needs a Kicking Chapter 30
This Strange World Needs A Kicking! – Ch. 30
By Laura S. Fox
Copyright © 2021 Laura S. Fox
All Rights Reserved
Gay Romance
Intended for Mature Audiences Only
This story will contain graphic depictions of sexual intercourse, strong language and it is not meant for readers who are less than 18 years of age.
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Chapter Thirty – Unexpected Guests
Kai barely noticed as they flew above the large fields of green and rolling hills. They were heading for Kelonia, and he had never been there, but he couldn't bring himself to feel the slightest enthusiasm. His mind was a mess. Galien had said something about them being in danger, Pepin was kind of pregnant or something, and on top of everything, Milo and Tani were there, with him, trapped in a fantasy world, at least one of them scared shitless.
Somehow, that didn't feel like such a joyride anymore.
"Galien," he began as soon as Adhe left them at the entrance of a magnificent estate that appeared to stretch as far as eyes could see. "Do you think those people who had been gathered to fight the dark magic jerks will know to go back on their own?"
Galien nodded. "Sebastian is in charge now. He knows what to do. But is this the first thing you're worried about?"
Kai looked down. Milo and Tani were following them inside, through the large wrought iron gates, his best friend mumbling under his breath and trying to convince himself that he was still dreaming, his sister murmuring short exclamations of admiration at the incredible beauty around them.
"They marched to war because they wanted to follow me. I suppose I'm responsible. And it feels easier than to think about those other things."
"Do you mean, Pepin having your heir?"
Kai snickered, although that was totally inappropriate given the severity of the situation. "Heir, right. I mean, it's not like that baby will be royalty. Obviously, because I'm not. I'm sure he'll grow up thinking that his dad is a total deadbeat." Hmm, suddenly, that didn't sound so funny anymore. "Oh, no, I'm going to be a dad," he said and slapped his cheeks. "I totally need to pull my act together. I mean, I need to find work and start saving. Do you know how expensive college is? I guess he could take a student loan, but those can be hard to pay back--"
"Easy," Galien stopped his descent into madness. "I don't really understand what you're talking about, but there are things we need to focus on right now, such as saving our lovers from that woman's wrath. And you." He threw a quick look back. "As well as Sebastian's chosen and your sister."
"Sebastian's chosen? Do you mean Milo?" That seemed like such a strange thought. But seeing how Milo had been just on the point of confessing at the beginning of all this body swap mess, maybe it wasn't so hard to imagine that. Sebastian must have seduced Milo so hard. The thought was funny, but again, he needed to stop laughing. At this point, he feared that it was more like a nervous reaction.
"Milo," Galien repeated after him. He said the name as he wanted to make sense of it and the person behind it. "He is very handsome," he added after looking over his shoulder again. "He appears to have much difficulty in understanding what is happening, unlike you. You truly had us all fooled. Is he dim-witted, the poor thing?"
Kai bit his lips. "No, actually he has much better grades than me. It's just that he doesn't believe that things like body swapping and traveling to other worlds are possible. Unlike me," he added quickly.
"Oh," Galien replied, somewhat baffled by that explanation. "Doesn't your world have magic?"
"Nope. Actually, if you started claiming that you could go to some fantasy worlds for real, you would be sent to the loony bin."
"Loony bin," Galien repeated slowly. "What kind of bin is that?"
"You know, the place where they send people thought to be crazy," Kai explained.
"Are you crazy? In your world? Do you come from a loony bin?"
The path taking them to the palace was quite long. It appeared that Galien wasn't troubled about taking the stroll, but Kai didn't feel very apt to walk so much after all that body-swapping back thing. "I'll explain it later," he decided. "It's a lot to take in, trust me."
"Astonishing," Galien agreed. "Now allow me to play the obliging host."
An elderly butler followed by a squad of four maids marched toward them in a hurry. "Master Galien, Your Grace!" The man stopped abruptly and took a bow. The maids followed his example.
"Mort, I know I have guests with me, but they're not the usual kind, so let's stop pretending."
The butler straightened up, and his stern face split into a large smile. He had to be the perfect professional because he turned all his attention to Galien after a brief look at the unexpected guests. "Master, where have you been for so long?" He hurried to Galien and began feeling his arms as if to check if he was whole. "And we heard about the war against Uxilan! What happened?"
The maids hurried toward them, and Kai found himself grabbed by a sturdy-looking girl with rosy cheeks. "I know just the perfect room for you," she said, clearly convinced of what she had to do.
Milo was taken in hand by another maid, while Tani had the privilege of having two maids fussing over her.
"I will let you get accustomed to your rooms for a bit," Galien said, "and get some rest, but we will have dinner soon. Then we'll talk about we'll do next."
Kai totally agreed with that plan. He was wasted and hungry, and he bet that Tani and Milo had to feel the same after all the excitement.
***
He couldn't say he was surprised to hear a knock on the door and then have Tani burst through it without waiting for a reply. Her pigtails were gone, and, instead, her hair had been braided into a fancy arrangement. She wore a beautiful blue dress worthy of a little princess, with tiny pearls woven into the fabric and so long that it swept the floor. The oversized sleeves were bunched around the shoulders but then glued to her forearms. On top of everything, she had bracelets and rings on both hands that looked incredibly expensive.
"You must be having the time of your life," he commented but smiled at seeing his sister so happy in her outfit.
"The maids here are completely nuts," Tani said and sat on his bed, "I mean, in a good way."
"Have you seen Milo?" Kai asked. His sister was taking things in stride, and if there were one thing they had in common as siblings, that was their firm belief in all the fantastic things in anime series and mangas. Of course, before all of this, it was just an imaginary belief. Now they had been both proven right. Milo, however, was a totally different type of person.
"No, but I heard the maids saying that Galien and his butler took care of him personally to help him rest."
"If that old man was in the room with them, then I have nothing to worry about," Kai said while rubbing one ear. "Seeing how Galien is--" He stopped in time. His sister didn't have to know what a flirt the guy was, and anyway, Galien had boundaries when he cared. This time, he cared.
"Who is this Galien dude?" Tani looked around. "I mean, I got it that he's Sebastian's cousin, but man, the size of this palace, it's just freaking amazing!"
Kai waved with importance. "Sebastian's place is even bigger than this. And I ruled there like for two weeks. Minstrels came and sang songs about me," he added. Well, he wouldn't say what exactly they sang about, but he wanted to impress Tani nonetheless.
"Cool," Tani whispered. "You'll have to talk to Milo and explain everything, though, because he seriously thinks that he got naughty with you all this time."
"Well, that's complicated." Kai pushed himself up and threw his sister a pointed look. "How naughty are we talking about?"
"Hello, you can't ask me that, I'm thirteen--"
"Almost fourteen, and I saw your secret BL stash."
Tani sighed. "Well, things got pretty heavy. Milo's seriously in love."
Kai groaned and plopped down on the bed. He threw one hand over his eyes, and then he noticed the tattoo. Caught as he had been in everything, he hadn't paid any attention to his own body, which he was supposed to have been missing all this time. He hadn't, but his body didn't need to know that.
"What the hell..." He pulled his sleeve up. "I got a tattoo?!" He stared at Tani in disbelief.
"Sebastian wanted to be badass because he saw how completely useless you could be."
"Damn." Kai pushed his hand farther so that he could see the ink properly. "I mean, I guess it looks kind of badass. What other crazy things he did while in my body?"
Tani threw him a sided look. "Can you still smell properly?"
Kai touched his nose right away. There was something about it slightly different. Like it wasn't so straight anymore. "What the hell did he do?"
"Got into fights, stuff like that," Tani replied with a shrug.
"Fights? With whom?"
"One guy called Chet and some other dudes."
"Oh, I'm so dead. It's official, I'm never going home. I'll stay here, hidden in Galien's palace. I bet he can afford a freeloader."
Tani snickered. "You have nothing to worry about. Sebastian totally beat the crap out of Chet and those dudes. Seriously, they were crying for their mommas when he was done with them."
Kai straightened up again and stared at Tani with squinted suspicious eyes. "For real? But how? He was in my body, and I can't fight for shit."
Tani shrugged again. "Dunno. But once he started working out and watching karate videos or something on the Internet, he got good. Like really fast. He smacked Chet with a pole right in the face. You should have seen that," his sister added and laughed. "For real, Kai, you don't have to worry about those bullies anymore. I think they'll piss themselves if you ever do as little as breathe in their direction."
"Hmm." That wasn't that bad. Kai felt his forearms a little, and they definitely felt more toned.
"By the way, did you do something weird to Sebastian's body while you were in it?"
Tani's question interrupted his exploration. "I fell off a horse once, but I didn't break his butt or anything," he said defensively.
"How did you deal with his royal concubines?"
"There's only one, and I did nothing," Kai continued to defend himself.
"Ah, that big guy with unruly hair?" Tani asked.
"By the way, how come you know so much?" Kai asked, completely unnerved by his sister's knowledge of Sebastian's affairs. "Did you know he wasn't me, all this time?"
"No, because I just thought you were being totally weird." Tani hid half her face to laugh. "You should have seen him, flushing the toilet and shouting crazy words. He was so in awe of everything. And I got to see who he was for real only today, when he beat up Chet and his stupid friends. I mean, I knew he wasn't you not only because you don't know Kung Fu, but also because he made some awesome things like having blue flames all around him and stuff like that."
"I bet you wished he were your brother for real," Kai said, pretty miffed by Tani's recounting of Sebastian's adventures.
"No, silly," Tani replied. "I know you're a weirdo, but you're my brother. Although I like Sebastian. C'mon, it's not like anyone could keep from liking him. He has crazy magic and he looks so cool."
"And I was about to thank you for still caring for me as your brother. By the way, people around here are not so crazy about Sebastian, and he's considered pretty much a cold bastard," Kai cared to explain.
Tani pursed her lips in thought. "That's weird, because he seems like a good guy."
Kai didn't know if he could agree, but Sebastian had been protecting the realm for a long time, and people of Ifigia could do a better job at being grateful. "Well, he's back now. And for some weird reasons, he took Pepin with him and cut us off."
Tani smiled and nudged him playfully. "Pepin, huh? How that happened?"
Kai grabbed a pillow and pressed it against his face. "I'm not telling you a thing!"
"Come on, you have to! I mean, I'll soon become an aunt! I mean, a very young aunt, but still. I can barely wait to hold that baby. And Pepin is so beautiful. How did you manage to fool him?" Tani asked.
Kai pushed away the pillow from his face, only to see his sister's all-knowing smirk. She didn't know anything. "Well, to be totally frank, he thought I was Sebastian, and he has always been in love with him."
Tani gasped and covered her mouth in shock. "And you took advantage of that? Bad brother." She grabbed the pillow and smacked him in the face with it.
"Stop it, moron!" Kai protested. "Pepin may look like an angel, but he's a little demon, I swear. He figured out that I wasn't Sebastian. So he's in love with me now." For good measure, he stuck his tongue out. "Just so you know." He had no intention to explain to his sister how that had all gone down.
"Well, I guess that's good. Are you going to introduce him to mom? Of course you're going to. But when?"
Kai groaned and pulled Tani by one ear. Usually, he went for the hair, but he was afraid to touch that elaborate updo. If he messed it up, Tani would make sure he wouldn't live to tell the tale. "The answer is not `when' but `how', butthead."
They both fell silent. Of course, they were from different worlds. If they returned home, he wouldn't see Pepin ever again. While marching by himself on Uxilan for what he thought to be the final quest, he had thought himself at peace with that, but now, he wasn't so sure. After all, he couldn't leave Pepin to take care of the baby, shard, or whatever, all by himself. It wasn't fair, and not only. Kai simply couldn't.
***
That had gone better than expected, but Sebastian didn't care about lingering in his mother's presence. Conrad stood by his side as Reya gave Pepin a complete set of instructions regarding the heir he was holding so preciously in the ice and crystal shard.
"Your Majesty," Conrad said quietly, "are you all right?"
The question caught him unawares. Conrad shouldn't dare to speak to him so freely. Yes, he had subdued the fallen prince, and in doing so, many threats had been thrown around, but Sebastian thought that a boundary existed between them – one supposed to keep Conrad from asking such questions.
"Why are you asking?" he said through his teeth.
"You look concerned and paler than usually."
"That is nothing for you to worry about." Conrad moved and placed a hand on his arm. Sebastian shook it off right away. "I don't recall giving you permission to touch me as you wish."
"Then it is a tale telling sign that, indeed, you are back." There was bitterness in Conrad's voice.
Sebastian had felt attracted to the prince of Estfalia before. He had felt almost... he shook his head. But right now, he couldn't bear his touch. Once, because Conrad wasn't the one he desired, and secondly because that touch carried with it sympathy and pity, two things Sebastian had never needed in his life from others.
"You will give me a complete recount of all the mess Kai Martin made out of this kingdom while I was away."
"Away," Conrad repeated the word with slight sarcasm. "Have you been on a leisure trip until now, Your Majesty?"
"Concubine, remember your place," Sebastian said haughtily. To his ears, he sounded like a complete jerk, as Tani would say. Maybe he was one, after all.
"I do. I wish I didn't have to," Conrad replied, his voice low and wistful.
It was evident that Kai Martin had gotten close to Pepin if the servant had been so foolish as to use the Shimmering Cavern and its secret powers. But what about Conrad? He could tell by Conrad's too loose manners around him that Kai hadn't treated the fallen prince as anything else but an equal.
Which was completely natural for a teenager from a strange world where royalty didn't keep royal concubines earned in battle as spoils of war.
"Quiet," he whispered. "You are tied to me. You belong to me."
Conrad said nothing else. But he set his chin high, and Sebastian looked at his profile for a moment.
Reya appeared to have finished instructing Pepin on his obligations and turned her attention to him once more. "Keep your concubine if you so wish, Sebastian, but ensure that the Lelian has all the conditions needed for raising your heir."
"Understood," he said curtly. "Pepin," he called.
The servant moved quietly and took his place by his right. Sebastian took his hand, clammy and cold as it was. He seized Conrad's hand and whispered the words. He hoped that Galien and the rest were far away already. Reya didn't have to know about the unexpected guests. The less she knew, the better. If he could help it, she would never learn about their presence and short visit.
When he opened his eyes again, they were back at the palace, in the royal quarters. Sebastian felt the front of his shirt. Some dark stains marred the fabric, and there was a small cut. Kai, as clumsy as he was, must have gotten injured. Nothing fatal, not that Sebastian would die from something as small as that.
For unfathomable reasons, a new breed of anger grew inside him when he thought of the boy. Milo was with him now, and they would be together if Kai wanted. Why would he want such a thing? He appeared to have developed feelings for Pepin, or was that one-sided? His servant had a knack for that, as much as Sebastian had always shown his displeasure with that behavior. At the same time, Pepin was too gullible. Had he become enamored with the idea that he could have Sebastian, even if not in soul but only in body? Somehow, Sebastian didn't think the servant to be capable of such deceit. While he didn't love Pepin, he had to admit that there was hardly a person in the entire Ifigia with higher standards when it came to morals. It was the thing he had always admired in his servant, although never openly.
"Explain," he ordered. He proceeded to unbutton his shirt while he expected his servant to start talking.
"Allow me to help, Your Majesty." Pepin hurried to him in the same solicitous and impeccable manner as always.
Sebastian waved him away. "I'm perfectly capable of undressing myself." Actually, after spending time in Kai's body, he had come to appreciate his privacy more. Having servants fussing over him again would feel irritating, at least for some time.
"Why are you asking him to explain? You're the one who's been away who knows where," Conrad talked.
Sebastian flashed a look at his concubine. Concubine. Even the word felt wrong. He no longer needed Conrad, and yet, he had to reestablish the order of things. That, of course, meant that he would have to resume all his activities as usual, including having Conrad as the one to warm his bed. The thought lacked appeal, no matter how attractive the captive prince was.
But was there anything else to do? If it weren't Conrad, someone else would take his place. Pepin was out of the question. He would never touch the servant in that manner. And the heir to the throne of Ifigia would be an imposter, with Sebastian's complicity.
"Pepin, start talking," he commanded without sparing Conrad another look.
"I'm in love with Kai," the servant replied. "Thank you for sparing our child's life, Your Majesty."
Sebastian took off his shirt, and just as he was about to throw it on the floor for others to pick it up, he reconsidered and placed it on the back of a chair, under the much-dumbfounded looks of his audience.
"Your Majesty," Pepin whispered when he turned toward them.
"What?" Sebastian asked in an irritated voice. "It's not like I'm about to start folding the laundry every day."
Pepin blinked once in confusion and then pointed at him, or better said, at a point under his chest. "The wound," he whispered.
Sebastian looked down at the black mark on his skin, stretching thin tendrils around like an exploding star. "How did Kai manage this?" he asked. It didn't hurt. It was just something that would disappear at one point.
"He was stabbed by an Uxilan dagger," Pepin replied, his voice weak.
Sebastian touched the mark. It wasn't a wound. It didn't go deeper than the skin, by what he could tell. "It's nothing," he said in a neutral voice. "It will probably disappear in a few days."
Pepin didn't look convinced, and Conrad appeared worried, too.
"Guys, stop worrying," he found himself talking in the same commandeering voice but using the wrong words.
Guys? He didn't talk like that, but after making so many efforts to blend in with the rest of the young people in Kai's world, it looked like some phrases had rubbed off on him.
"You talk smack, like Kai," Pepin said, visibly surprised.
Sebastian sighed. "I certainly do not. And you don't even know what smack is, Pepin."
Pepin's eyes filled with something new. "How is Kai's world, Your Majesty?"
"Well, it is incredibly strange. People have hot water on tap, smartphones that hold all the knowledge of the universe, and true crime television. But they don't believe in magic, and if you ever talk back to a teacher, no matter how right you are, you are sent straight to detention--"
What was he doing, talking like that? He never mingled with those below his station, not in this manner that sounded almost... friendly?
"Do they use mice as weapons?" Pepin pressed. "But why? And how?"
"Mice?" Sebastian stared at Pepin for a moment. "No, not that I know of."
"But Kai said something about video games, which I don't know what they are," Pepin continued.
"Ah, mice." Sebastian pressed his finger against his lips, deep in thought. "A mouse is an implement attached to something called a computer that runs simulations of battles, although nothing is real," he replied promptly. "It is nothing like a real mouse."
Pepin stared at him in awe, and Sebastian felt a bit good about himself, being capable of explaining such astonishing things to his unknowing servant.
"A strange world, indeed," Conrad commented. "But what made it possible for Your Majesty to travel to it in such a fashion?"
Sebastian's good mood began to fade. There must have been dark magic at work, so there was no time to waste on chatting his servant and concubine up about miraculous inventions from a world he would never get back to.
"I am yet to discover what curse caused this to happen," he said. "And you two should see about your obligations. Dismissed," he added shortly.
"But, Your Majesty, my duty is to serve you," Pepin insisted.
"Find other things to do than bother me," Sebastian replied. "I can tend to myself without help."
For a moment, he feared that Conrad would remind him of what a concubine's role was, but the prince moved away and walked out of the room, following Pepin, with nothing but a short farewell.
Sebastian sat on the royal bed and took in his surroundings. The place was familiar, yet still strange after being away for such a short time. He had been on lengthier military campaigns, so why did he feel so out of place now?
Maybe because nothing else had been so life-changing for him, he thought as he lay on his back and stared at the ceiling. Where was Milo now? Was Galien taking good care of him? And Tani, too? He didn't worry too much about Kai. That boy had managed somehow to rule in his stead without burning Ifigia to the ground. It was a feat worthy of being recognized for what it was.
But Milo... what was he thinking right now?
TBC
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