A Thorned Rose
Disclaimer: Hello everybody! Sorry I've been out of commission for so long but I wanted to enjoy my hols to the fullest without any interruptions whatsoever (ended up working, though! Blech!). Anyway, I'll be a little more active for the next few months until my semester ends (around June to July). In the meantime, enjoy this story that I have finally finished. Any comments can be directed to Benj_thall@hotmail.com. To the people out there who have inspired me, u know who u are (especially, u Gene!!). That's it. Ciao!!
Chapter 4: The Last Night
I had to go see Leo, to talk with him before I even considered taking up that job. It wouldn't be easy -- Leo had been like a father to me, always giving me advice as he saw it, always trying, at first, to match me up with Danny until he found out I wasn't interested. Then, he swore to uphold my virtue by watching Danny closely. I wouldn't have worried. Danny and I were more like brothers than anything though it was different in this case. I didn't feel like I had to always look after him as I did with my own brothers. Instead, we looked after one another. I helped Danny patch up with Edmund when they got into a fight; Danny helped me with the twins during that difficult stage by giving me tips -- most of which came from Edmund.
After fixing dinner for the kids and eating it with them, I hurried down to the "Wharf", hoping to catch Leo. As I glanced around, he was nowhere to be found but Danny saw me and waved to me. I waved back and strolled up to the bar where Danny was drying glasses.
"So, what will it be, beautiful?" he asked, grinning, his hand clutching mine. I pulled away, giving him a mock sour look before grinning and answering, "The usual, Coke."
He grimaced, pulled a can of Coke out and handed it to me. I opened it and just guzzled it down. When I was done, I looked at Danny who seemed to be studying me. "Danny, where's Leo?"
"Hmmm? Fa? He popped out to check on the place in the city. He'll be back pretty soon. Why?"
I hesitated. Should I or shouldn't I? Danny was a friend but it didn't really concern him? I was about to answer when a hand slapped by shoulder and a voice dryly remarked, "Now I know why my lover of three years suddenly starts coming in early for his shift."
I turned around, a grin for my face as I hugged the man behind me. He was tall and well-built, though still slender; his hair was a bright auburn, lighter than the darkish red-gold that most people had; pale green eyes regarded me with laughing indifference, somehow managing to ogle Danny while still keeping an eye on me. Edmund Hurlington took the seat next to me, his eyes now watching Danny in fascination and I finally realized why. I finally noticed what Danny was wearing. He was clad only in denim overalls and nothing else, allowing for a good glimpse of his chest when he turned sideways and an even better view of his shoulder and his upper back which were totally bare except for the straps of the overalls. Evidently, Danny had forgotten to put on a shirt underneath as he had planned to b'cos he blushed as he finally noticed what he was wearing himself.
"How did you manage to forget to put on a shirt?" I asked him, fascinated and very curious. He just blushed again as Edmund's lazy gaze wandered over every inch of his bare body. Edmund took it upon himself to answer the question and drawled, "Let's just say that I was very distracting as he tried to dress. I wasn't as effective a distraction as I had thought but, fortunately, for both of us, I was effective enough to obtain the view we have today." His grin was enough to make me blush. I was very clear on what he was saying and Danny saw that as well. "Edmund!" Danny warned.
I knew I was blushing but remembered what I was going to ask Danny. "Um, Danny? About that thing I was gonna ask you about? Well, I was offered this job and I was going to ask Leo about it."
Danny had an incredulous look on his face. "What? You mean, you're going to ditch us after all we've done for you? Why, you ungrateful little -"
Thankfully, Edmund saved me. "That's enough, Danny. Allie has more than repaid you and your father for giving him that job. Look how much business you've been getting thanks to Allie." He glanced at me. "Besides, Allie isn't one to jump at every golden chance that he gets. It's probably something that I would have taken instantly without even thinking about it. Only Allie would try to consider something like that."
Danny looked as if he was about to argue but he sighed. "Edmund, you're right. Sorry, Allie. No offense. Go on."
"None taken." I bit my lip. "Um, you know about N'Sync being here yesterday, don't you?" Danny nodded but Edmund burst in. "They were here? Damn, that is so cool! Did you see JC? He is so hot!" Danny gave him THAT look that couples sometimes give one another and dryly, I replied, half-irked, "I'll tell him you said that."
"You know him?" was the incredulous reply. I nodded. "Well, JC offered me a job as another member of the group and that's why I wanted to talk to Leo."
"You're serious, Allie?" Danny asked, sounding shocked. I nodded again.
"For God's sake, Allie, take it! This is a one-in-a-lifetime chance! You'd be a fool if you didn't!" Edmund yelled.
"Yeah, but, what about here, and Leo, and the Sterlings, and -"
"Take it, Allie." I spun around. Nick and the others were looking at me with a look of joy on their faces. "You lucky bastard! Take it or we'll never talk to you ever again!" Shauna told me with a grin on her face. "But, now you don't have a lead singer," I protested. "Pish posh! We can get somebody," Leigh muttered, his blond hair wild as usual. "I know a few people from the church choir who could use a job," Lynn suggested. "You see, Allie? We'll be OK," Casey reassured me. "All you need now is Leo's approval."
"Which he has," Leo announced. I turned to look at him. He was beaming at me, so happy for me that I almost cried. "Don't cry, my boy. I knew from the day I hired you that you were destined for greater things. Now, just take the job but don't forget us. And come see us sometime when you're free or we'll have to visit you instead. Now, come here," Leo bawled. I walked into his arms as he gave me a bear hug, almost crying already, so happy that my friends here were so understanding. "Thank you guys, thank you!" I murmured to all of them.
"You're officially off-duty tomorrow but I still hope you'll come and perform until you really sign on with the group. And, you still have one more night to do today." Leo looked at me proudly and I noticed Daniel, and Edmund, standing together, hand in hand, smiling happily. "Anything, Leo," I managed to reply and the next thing I knew, I was being herded on to the stage.
We joked around for a while since the place was still a bit empty. I thought they looked sad and I wondered if I could get a scout to check them out. I mean, JC must know all these types of people, wouldn't he? So, if he did, I could always ask him for that favor. After all, they were quite good. Maybe . . .
Somehow, that aura of the last night seemed to surround us and I caught myself looking at the "Wharf". Laura and the others were told about my offer, and they hugged me, half-laughing that I got such a break, and half-crying 'cos they were sad to see me go. Laura told me, "You're just the right person for the nicest thing to happen to! I'm gonna miss you!" The last hour before the music started was spent with waitresses talking with one another as customers looked on in surprise. They weren't neglected, of course, with Laura keeping a sharp eye out on everybody, but we were just talking about the good times that we had together. How would I have known that I would someday leave this place and move on? It was just so strange. The bar was neglected as Danny kept on toasting me, making up the most ridiculous toasts which had everyone laughing away, giggling like school children.
And then, the place was finally full. It was packed and I found myself wondering if they had heard the news about my leaving. When Nick announced me amidst thunderous applause, I felt as nervous as I had been when I had first sung upon this stage. I had to take a drink of water from this glass that they left for me by the stage. It all seemed like such a long time ago. As I stepped into the limelight, the crowd hushed. I moved my mouth closer to the mike, thinking on what to say, what to tell. "Ladies and gentlemen, I have some sad news today. Tonight is my last official night singing for all of you and after this, I may have moved on to another job. I will still be here tomorrow but I won't be sure whether I will even be here after that. I just want to say thank you to all the regular patrons who come to hear me sing and I hope that you will continue to stay as I will be replaced by another singer." There was a moment of silence followed by roars of disapproval and shouts of "Stay! Stay! Stay!". I lifted my hands up for silence with which they complied, falling silent. "It is God's will, I think, and I only hope that you can enjoy the days to come without me. It is my last night, ladies and gentlemen, and I shall try to make this the most wonderful night of your lives."
I was almost about to weep, something which Nick saw and he gestured to the others to strike up some music. "The first song, ladies and gentlemen, is a song that was converted from another language to English and then sung by Celine Dion. It's called 'Let's Talk About Love' and I hope that when I sing it, you will think about all the problems which we face today due to prejudice and bigotry. Listen to the lyrics and you will hear the message."
I took a deep breath. That song had been suggested by Nick as I had no idea who Celine Dion was. In fact, most of the songs were relatively new songs that Nick had taken a liking to and trained me to sing. "Everywhere I go . . . All the places that I've been . . . Every smile's a new horizon . . . on a land I've never seen . . . There are people around the world . . . Different faces, different names . . . But there's one true emotion . . .That reminds me we're the same . . . Let's talk about love . . ."
"From the laughter of a child . . . to the tears of a grown man . . . There's a thread that runs right through us . . . And helps us understand . . . As subtle as a breeze . . . That fans a flicker to a flame . . . From the very first sweet melody . . . To the very last refrain . . . Let's talk about love . . . Let's talk about love . . . Let's talk about life . . . Let's talk about trust . . ."
"It's the king of all who live . . . and the queen of all good hearts . . . it's the ace you may keep up your sleeve . . . 'till the name is all but lost . . . as deep as any sea . . . with the rage of any storm . . . but as gentle as the falling leaf . . . on any autumn morn . . ."
"Let's talk about love . . . Let's talk about love . . . Let's talk about life . . . Let's talk about trust . . . Let's talk about love . . ."
The words just came, flowing through me, and I gave it everything I had. I sang and sang, finishing that song, and starting on another, going through every new song that I had sung before. I was in a daze, thinking only that this was my last night in the "Wharf", a daze from which I awoke only when the Beatles song was about to be sung.
"This is one of my personal favorites, done by the Beatles. It's been changed a little to reflect another point of view and I hope you like it. 'Here, There, Everywhere' is the next song." Nick had told me that Celine Dion had sang this one, too. She must be some singer.
"To lead a better life .... I need my love to be here ...." was the bridge, with the soft strings on Casey's guitar. Only later did the whole band join in.
"Here .... Making each day of the year .... Changing my life with a wave of his hand .... Nobody can .... Deny that there's something there ...."
"There .... Running my hands through his hair .... Both of us thinking how good it could be .... Someone is speaking .... But he doesn't know she's there .... I want him everywhere .... And if he's beside me, I know I need never care .... But to love him is to need him everywhere .... Knowing that love is to share .... Each one believing that love never dies ... Watching his eyes .... And hoping I'm always there .... I'll be there ...."
It was funny but when I was singing that song, I found myself thinking of JC and how much I wished he could be here to listen to me sing this song, to sing it to him. It was a confusing thought -- one that almost caused me to stumble through the song. Fortunately, I managed to recover in time, though, I still felt confused. What was wrong with me? Why do I get so confused when I think of JC? That nervousness around him intensified as I thought of him smiling to me. I shoved the thoughts into the back of my mind and concentrated simply on singing my heart out.
"I want him everywhere .... And if he's beside me, I know I need never care .... But to love him is to need him everywhere .... Knowing that love is to share .... Each one believing that love never dies .... Watching his eyes .... And hoping I'm always there .... I will be there .... And everywhere .... Here, there and everywhere ...."
I bowed my head as the applause seemed to sweep over me, almost a wave that threatened to overwhelm me, to drown me. I staggered off the stage, pleading for a short break. My head spun, my throat ached -- I really needed a drink. I just sat on a chair, backstage, sipping my drink, just thinking. About a lot of things, really. About life, in general. That was one thing about me which I always wondered about. No matter where I am, I tend to think a lot. Sometimes, maybe a bit too much. Basically, I just ponder about everything that affects my life. Like, sometimes, I wondered how life would be if Mom and Dad were still here. What would I be doing? Would life have been easier? Probably. Or, what if I hadn't survived that crash? Then, it would have been up to the twins to take on my job, my responsibilities. A lot of things passed through my mind but it all boiled down to one conclusion: it's destiny, maybe. One twist in the tale changes countless lives forever.
I took about a 15 minute break and then I was back on stage, singing the last few songs of the evening. And then, finally, close to two in the morning, the grand finale.
"Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like it's the last song for me to sing on my last night. Thank you for making my days here just so wonderful to me. The next song -- 'Leaving on a Jet Plane" -- is quite appropriate for the ending. I just want to say that not all endings are bad. As the immortal Bard once said, Parting is all we know of Heaven and all we need of Hell. Thank you and good-bye." I looked around, just taking in this view, trying to memorize this last scene as people looked up, some sleepy, some still awake, other somewhere in between. I saw a sleeping child on his father's lap; I saw a man hold a woman's hand in his; I saw two men kiss behind the bar; and I smiled.
"All my bags are packed ... and I'm ready to go ... I'm standing here outside your door ... I'd hate to wake you up to say good-bye ... The dawn is breaking ... it's early morn ... The taxi's waiting ... he's blowing his horn ... already I'm so lonesome, I could die ...."
"So, kiss me and smile for me .... Tell me that you'll wait for me .... Hold me like you'll never let me go .... 'Cos I'm a leaving on a jet plane .... Don't know when I'll be back again ... Oh, babe, I hate to go ..."
"There's so many times I've let you down ... so many times I've played around ... but, I tell you now that they don't mean a thing ... every place I go, I think of you ... every song I sing, I sing for you ... when I come back, I'll wear your wedding ring ..."
"So, kiss me and smile for me .... Tell me that you'll wait for me .... Hold me like you'll never let me go .... 'Cos I'm a leaving on a jet plane .... Don't know when I'll be back again ... Oh, babe, I hate to go ..."
Now the time has come to leave you ... one more time I'll let me kiss you ... so close your eyes and I'll be on my way ... dream about the days to come ... when I won't have to be alone ... about the times that I won't have to say ..."
"So, kiss me and smile for me .... Tell me that you'll wait for me .... Hold me like you'll never let me go .... 'Cos I'm a leaving on a jet plane .... Don't know when I'll be back again ... Oh, babe, I hate to go ..."
I let the words linger in the air, then bowed and stepped off. The applause was simply amazing and I had never felt any happier in my life. What a feeling! I kissed all the guys and the gals, too, then Leo, Danny and Edmund. We must have spent half an hour just saying our good-byes, wishing each other luck and efforts to keep in contact with one another. As I walked up the street, I began crying ever so quietly. I was afraid, I had to admit, of the future, of what life would bring to us, of JC, of everything. I looked up into the sky. "Stay with me, God, please! I need You," I whispered to Him.
When I reached home, everyone was asleep. As I opened the door to my room, I found a note tacked to the door. It seemed that JC had called and he had asked me to call back. Along with it was a number. I glanced at the clock. It was two in the morning. I wondered if he was still awake. I decided to chance it and call him. I dialed the number and waited.
It rang about twice and then, sleepily, a voice murmured, "Hello?"
"JC," I said quickly, "Sorry to disturb but I just got your message. Is there anything important you want to talk to me about?"
Sounding more awake, JC laughed softly and replied, "Not really. I just called to talk with you. Where have you been? On a date?"
"No. Just finished work at the "Wharf" and everything. OH, I just finished my last night there. Starting tomorrow, I'm really not working with them anymore." I curled up into the couch. I was getting sleepy.
"Does that mean you're taking my offer?" He sounded excited.
"Yeah, most probably but I still got a problem with my brothers. I want them along or I won't be satisfied on how they're doing."
"I think we could arrange that. You sound sleepy. You wanna go?"
"Not really. You know, I had a dream about you last night," I told him sleepily.
There was silence for a moment. "Really? How was it like?"
"Well, Justin was in it, too, and so was Jer. We were in a park and Jer was on the swing while Justin was giving him a push. The two of us were swimming."
"Really? With suits on?" JC asked teasingly.
I yawned. "No suits at all."
"Interesting."
"Whatever."
"Get some sleep, Allie."
"Um, OK. You, too."
"Are you gonna dream about me again?" He was teasing again.
"Maybe."
"Bye, Allie."
"Bye, Josh."
I hung up before he could say anything else, giggling to myself.
As I got into bed after washing up, I lay awake for a moment, recalling how JC had sounded when I told him about the dream. He sounded just a bit strange -- he wasn't upset or anything, or embarrassed, but something else. I smiled as I thought of the future.
JC put down the phone, smiling fondly. He lay back, arms folded under his head, staring at the ceiling. Josh wasn't a name that he really enjoyed being called but when Allie had mouthed that word, that name hadn't sounded so bad. It had felt good when Allie had said it -- it felt more personal. The fact of that change nagged at him until sleep finally claimed him, still smiling.