In Your Eyes
By: LD Griffin
Disclaimer: This story is F-I-C-T-I-O-N! I do not know *NSYNC or the actual sexual preferences of the members included in *NSYNC. I wish I did, but I don't :( Don't read this if you are under 18 or stories with homosexual material or illegal where you live.
Pairing: JC/Justin Rating: G Feedback: Please! Sleepychick101@yahoo.com
Summary: If I tell you it'd give away the ending.
Author's Note: This is the sequel to a short story I wrote a LONG time ago called "Three Words". Originally, I hadn't intended to write a sequel to the short, but I had a huge mass of feedback asking for one. So, I know that I wrote "Three Words" in October, but here is the sequel. Sorry it took so long to come up with one. I suggest you read "Three Words" before you read this if you already haven't, so that you understand what's going on.
Dedication: To Ash, for being the person whom "Three Words" was written for, and to Viv for being the person who pushed the most for a sequel such a long time ago.
You'd think that after living with someone for two years you'd know everything about them. I figured that especially me working with JC, dating JC, and living with JC there'd be nothing I'd miss. That after spending almost every waking hour with someone you'd know them inside out. We all convince ourselves that they are totally truthful and open with you, so we try our best to be totally truthful and open with them. But of course, we almost always fail at that mission.
And then of course there's the fact that I'm so stupid for not knowing myself. After eight years of living alone you'd think you would have had plenty of time to figure out why you screwed over the best thing life ever gave you. But it never works that way; life isn't easy and it seems nothing ever turns out the way it should.
It's been eight years now since I brutally messed up the greatest thing I've ever had in my 31 years of life. Eight years today, August 8, 2012. You all might know me. I was once in a vocal group called *NSYNC. I was one of the two lead singers. I had everything, including the other lead. But I guess it just wasn't good enough for me. So, these past 8 years I have been trying to make everything right. I have searched everywhere I can think of to find my love- Josh.
Up until this year, all my connections had ended in duds. There were so many wrong ties, too many options. One by one I've narrowed down the list, never leaving one possibility un-checked. And finally, this year I got the number and address of a Joshua Scott in Jeanette, PA, a town 45 minutes outside of Pittsburgh.
Crazy, you say. JC's last name was Chasez not Scott. And even if he was going by his middle name now, there has to be millions of people named Joshua Scott out there. I thought the same thing for a really long time. But, I finally told myself that I had come to obtain this address through everything I know. This has got to be the right Joshua- my Joshua's address.
So, here I stand at 4207 Smithwick Ave. The house is clean cut, very much like JC's taste. The front porch is so inviting and seems to almost call any and everyone to it. I take a deep breath and reach up to ring the doorbell. I can hear shuffling on the hardwood floor. The door opens and a 35 or so man whom I can't recognize opens the door.
"May I help..." he starts and then looks at me directly in the eyes and inhales sharply. I know those eyes
"Justin..." Josh starts and his voice cracks.
"Hi, Joshua."
"Justin, how did you, where did you....um, what are you doing here?"
"I came to wish you a Happy Birthday. You're 36 today."
"How did you remember?" JC states, still looking like he's seen a ghost.
"Can I come in?"
"Um, sure. Yes, I guess so." JC spats while he fumbles with the handle and backs back into the house while waving me in.
The house is very well kept.Furnished in what looks like antique colonial style furniture, it seems warm and homely. Every room, every painting, every last detail has been taken into consideration, not a thing overlooked.
"Please...sit down." JC says as he guides me towards drawing room.
The sofas are upholstered in silk and cotton; the coffee table made of the finest mahogany. The large leather chair opposite me of the deepest sandy brown.
"Justin, what are you really here for? You don't just come all this way to wish someone whom you haven't talked to in over 7 years a Happy Birthday."
I stare at the floor. I can't possibly look up at him.
"I wanted to apologize." I say, as I finally look up and make eye contact
"For what?"
"For everything. This emptiness has been consuming me for years now. I miss you in my life Josh. I was so naive; I didn't know what I was doing, and I hurt you in my confusion. I couldn't go on knowing that you thought I didn't love you. Because, JC, I do love you . I love you more than anything in the world. And I guess, I'm praying that you still love me too."
"Just, that was 8 years ago. We can't just go back to the way we were. I've moved on with my life. I've found new loves. I've experienced new things."
I begin to cry. He doesn't love me. What a fool I am to think that after all this time he would just stand there with his arms wide open to embrace me in a hug.
"You better go." JC says as he stands up from the chair opposite the sofa where I am sitting.
I stand up and make my way to the door, tears streaming down my cheeks.
As I reach the doormat I being to softly sing. "In your eyes, the light the heat. In your eyes, I am complete. In your eyes, I see the doorway to a thousand churches. In your eyes the resolution of all the fruitless searches. In your eyes, I see the light and the heat. In your eyes, oh, I want to be that complete. I want to touch the light, the heat I see in your eyes."
I hear a soft whimper from behind me and turn around. JC walks up to me and wraps his arms around me and lightly kisses my lips. And I know everything is going to be alright.
~~LD Griffin~~ Sleepychick101@yahoo.com