Thugs with Tendencies

Thugs with Tendencies 4

TWT4 – Yusef Buchanan
My block doesn't guarantee survival. One day you're here kicking it with your family and the next day someone shoots up your family's house.

"We'll get through this together," my girlfriend Nene tells me.

She leans over and holds my hand. My son Yusef Jr. is sitting on my lap. He has no idea what's going on. He has no idea how dangerous this world is. He has no idea that he's sitting in a funeral. I hate the fact that Nene brought him to something like this. I hate the fact that she is letting him be exposed to this shit.

"You take Jr. home," I tell Nene.

"We just came to support," Nene tells me.

"I don't need your fucking support," I tell Nene, "I need my son to be at home. I don't want him to grow up knowing shit like this."

Nene rolls her eyes, "You probably just want me to leave so you can invite your other bitch to the funeral."

Nene is extremely jealous. She's always been like that. She's acting like this is a fucking party or something and I was going to fuck some female right in the back of the casket. I sigh and ignore her. Luckily she gets her ass up and leaves with my son. I can't focus on Jr. being here especially when I had to take care of my cousins.

My Uncle and Aunt never bothered nobody. My cousin Cheyenne was one of the best people that I knew. News had come around that she was pregnant. It's making this group funeral even more fucking sad. I wish this was the first time that I'd had family murdered for no specific reason. I wish this was the first time that I had been to a group funeral. It wasn't the first time. I was a veteran at this death shit. I knew it well.

"Yo---you guys got my condolences," a few guys from the block tell me.

They didn't even bother to show up in suits. These motherfuckers showed up in long black tees with Cheyenne's name spray painted on it. I nod to the well-wishers nonetheless. My cousins Kenyatta and Meech are too shaken to speak. They are both in tears. I have to be strong for the family at least now. I had to let them know that things were going to be better.

The service ends relatively quickly. Kenyatta goes off with her friends and I help Meech out of his seat. My little cousin is older now. He's stronger.

|He looks over at me and whispers something odd, "I'm going to kill the motherfuckers who did this."

His voice is solid and serious. Meech was always more innocent than most guys I knew. We grew up together. He looked up to me. He was growing up so fast though. The tears are running down his face and I know there is nothing I can really do to make him feel better in this moment. The murder was sick and shit wasn't going to be right for a while.

"Go home," I tell Meech, "I'm going to find out who did it."

"Those were my parents. That was my sister. If anyone is going to get some revenge, it's going to be me."

I grab Meech up by his collar. I grab him up so hard that a couple of people at the funeral turn my way thinking a fight is about to break out. It wouldn't be the first time a fight broke out at a funeral. Meech is just shaking his head at that moment.

"Don't fuck with me," I warn him, "I said go home."

"I can help find the guy. Outside the house my dad spray painted the grass green. He was trying to be cheap. It was fresh and there were tracks going through. I can ask around...see if anyone has some green paint under their shoes in the neighborhood."

I roll my eyes, "You going to check everyone's fucking shoes boy?"

"If I have to."

"It could have just been a fucking robbery Meech. A random robbery. You know how many dudes out here would just rob someone."

My little cousin is being stubborn as fuck, "Nothing was taken. This was a murder and you know it."

He was probably right. Matter of fact he was definitely right. That was the thing about Meech. He was smart. He was too smart to be getting involved in the street life. He was always as smart as his sister Cheyenne. She went to college. Meech didn't. Meech wanted to follow me around and be a thug. That wasn't the life to live.

I shake my little cousin one last time, "Listen. Ok. Listen good yo because I'll only say this shit once. Cheyenne's gone now. Kenyatta isn't doing shit with her life. That leaves you. You want revenge? Huh? Is that what you want? If I give you a gun and I find out who did this would you be ready to pull the trigger? Would you be ready to kill someone little man?"

He hesitates, "I would try..."

I push my little cousin back a little bit, "There's no trying. You either pull that fucking trigger or you don't. You're not ready. See. That proves it. You talk a bunch of shit but you're not ready. So take your black ass home and cry. Do all that shit. If they fuck with you, they fuck with me and no one is ever going to fuck with my family. You hear me?"

Meech is nervous. He wants to be a man so bad. He wants to be tough so bad. I know where tough guys end up. I'd been in and out of jail since I was 12. And I was one of the lucky ones. Meech never had good luck. I didn't want him involved in this.

I watch as Meech goes over and talks to this white boy. I'd never seen the guy before but he looks like he isn't much of a threat. He seems to offer Meech a ride. I watch as my little cousin goes home.

I shake my head and just turn around. The cops had mostly given up on the case of the Buchanan 'incident'. They didn't care that it was a massacre. There was no justice out here. The cops didn't care to waste their resources in the Southside of Chicago. I had to find out who killed my Uncle, Aunt and cousin. I had to find out now.
After the funeral I head to Lil' Ty's house. I guess you could say he's my boyfriend...even though I had a girlfriend too. Lil' Ty had big lips and big arms. When I walk into his house he hugs me a little tighter than he's ever hugged me before. I'm shocked because the boys are around. They all turn and watch him do it. I wonder if they think something. Ty and I are both in the closet. No one knows that we date besides my cousin Meech. The fact that he is embracing me so openly kind of blows my mind.

"I'm sorry man," Lil' Ty says as I walk in his house and I don't see him immediately, "You know we going to find out who did this right. You know that we are going to make them pay for what they did right?"

Ty gives me a hard stare. He doesn't dare give me another hug but I think maybe he wants to. It feels nice to have him there for me. He's been around for me for a while now too. He's taken care of me. Ty was sexy in his own way. Tall, caramel and masculine as fuck. I found out he was gay a few years ago. We'd gotten high off some drugs and the next thing I know I was riding his big dick for hours.

"Ty's right. We got your back," Red says.

Red, Boozie, Kool Aid and DJ are sitting around. DJ already has his gun out. I know he has a temper on him. Right next to him is someone different. It's someone who doesn't really hang out with Ty's main guys. It's Ty's half-brother Lopez. Lopez is leaning over; legs open with no shirt on. He'd come to the funeral. I saw him in the back. He was the only one to show up. The other guys said they didn't like funerals or some shit. Lopez was watching everything though.

"How's your cousin?" Lopez asks me.

"Kenyatta's fine. She's emotional. You know her. She's gonna get drunk for a few days and she'll be good."

"I got Kenyatta," Red tells Lopez, "She's taken care of."

I almost forgot that Red was Kenyatta's man now. The way that he jumps on Lopez kind of blows my mind a little bit. I don't even think Lopez meant anything by it honestly. It was the natural thing to ask.

Lopez ignores Red and nods my way, "Actually Yusef, I was asking about your other cousin Meech. He doing OK?"

I almost forget. Lopez was attracted to Meech. I can't lie. It makes me jealous thinking about how the fact that Lopez is interested in Meech. I'd always found Lopez to be beyond sexy. The good news: he was gay. The bad news: he only wanted sex. Usually I wouldn't give a fuck if a guy wanted sex or not. Lopez was the first guy I ever had sex with. He taught me not to give a fuck about emotion.

But now...when he talks about Meech...

"He's good."

I'm short. I'm simple. I don't need Lopez asking about Meech. I don't need him around Meech. The idea of it kind of makes me sick to my stomach a little bit.

"If he needs anything, tell him I got him," Lopez comes out of nowhere and says.

I give a him a harder look. He's pissing me off a little bit.

"I said he's good yo," I told him, "He's my cousin. I fucking got him."

Red laughs. Lopez changes his facial expression almost immediately I think it's the fact that I'm being a little smart with him or maybe it's the fact that Red is laughing at him. It's already kind of clear that Red doesn't care for him. I don't mean to be taking sides or anything like that but in a matter of seconds Lopez is in my face.

"Who the fuck you talking to like that little man?" Lopez asks me.

Lopez was a pop off. He'd always been loud and aggressive. He'd always been a firecracker. When he comes in my face in the next few minutes I feel a little annoyed. It doesn't take long before he pushes me into the nearest chair. I fall down on the chair.

I may be smaller then Lopez but I'm no punk. I grab the chair I fall on and I'm ready to knock it on the side of Lopez's head. Luckily Ty gets in the middle of us. Ty grabs the chair out of my hands and holds me there for a minute.

"Fuck are you two fighting for?" Ty asks, "Ya'll want to fuck up my house over some stupid shit. Look. Tensions are high. It's clear. Still. We all know who did that shit."

"We do?" Kool Aid asks.

Kool Aid was always the innocent one in the gang. He didn't have a lot of common sense. A lot of the guys thought he was straight up dumb but honestly I think he just played dumb to get some type of attention or something.

"It was the Bakersfield boys."
My heart stops. I didn't even assume it was the rival gang.

"Bakersfield?" Red asks, "How do you know that?"

"Because who else would it be?" Ty asks, "No one else would put a hit out on anyone on this block without me knowing about it. It was clearly them."

The room gets quiet. Tension with the Bakersfield boys were getting thicker and thicker. Ty was trying to wipe them out. He had gone after their boss Tonio multiple times. We'd gotten into so many fights and brawls with them. Things were escalating to shootouts now. I knew three or four guys around the block that got killed by Bakersfield guys in the last few years. Still. This didn't seem like something the Bakersfield guys really did.

"Why would they want to kill my Aunt and Uncle?" I ask.

"That's what the streets are saying," Ty says.

"Man that don't sound right," Lopez says.

"You saying he is lying?" Red asks Lopez.

Lopez looks offended again, "I'm not saying that. I'm just saying let's sit back for a moment and think about this. The Bakersfield boys probably didn't do this."

Red shuts up. I can tell there is still that tension between Lopez and Red. I want to stay out of it. If it was the Bakersfield boys, then things were going to get escalated and things were going to get escalated relatively quickly.

"You guys know what this means," Ty tells everyone.

"What?"

"It means we're going to war," Ty explains.

Ty leans over and takes out his chest. The chest is full of weapons. They are broad weapons. They are big weapons. I am shocked when I see the kid of military fucking shit he pulls out. The rest of the boys gather around. There are Ambush arms, assault rifles, detachable magazines and all types of other shit that I have no idea how he got.

"Yo! This shit is dope..." Red says.

The others are shocked by Ty's arsenal as well. Truth is Ty was wealthy. He had drug money. The broken down trap house didn't matter. He didn't care about where he hustled as long as he got to the money. He spent his money on guns and weapons. He spent his money on things to beat the OPPS. The OPPS were our opponents. The OPPS were the Bakersfield Boys.

Lopez shakes his head. He's the only one who doesn't look impressed, "Yo. Really Ty? You had to spend a fortune on this shit. What you do---rob the fucking Pentagon or some shit?"

"I got a hook up," Ty laughs, "We got to be ready for the OPPS."

Normally I would say this is ridiculous but truthfully I'm upset. Truthfully I want to get at the Bakersfield boys. If these guns were what was needed to get rid of the OPPS then I was going to do it. I was going to use these weapons to get revenge in any way that I could.

"We sure it's the Bakersfield boys?" I ask.

"I swear to God," Ty says, "I know for a fact."

The boys look at one another. I can tell we are kind of nervous. We'd fought the Opps before. We even shot at the Opps before. This was past that. Ty was sitting here suggesting an all out attack on the Opps right now. We weren't using these weapons for some petty shoot out after the club where everyone was too drunk to aim right and most of the bullets ended up in concrete. Ty was suggesting something else. He was suggesting something more dangerous.

Ty was suggesting an all out war on them and honestly I think that was making all of us nervous. The silence goes across the room when we see how heavy some of these weapons are. I'm not talking about the weight of the weapons either.

"Yo. This is serious," Lopez says.

"You scared bro?" Ty asks Lopez.

"Do I look scared to you?" Lopez responds, "Look. I'm not a pussy. I'm just saying if we choose to do this we got to end them. Because once we start doing these all out attacks...they'll come back twice as hard."

"They started," I tell Lopez, "My uncle, my aunt and my cousin died because of these fucking people. They started this all out attack."

Lopez struggles, "I know but..."

"Yo---why don't you stay home," Red says, "I'll ride for the Buchanans. I'll get revenge for them."

Lopez shakes his head, "I'm not fucking saying that."

Just at that moment there is a knock on the door. I can tell that Lopez is a little bit annoyed because he leaves to go answer it before anyone else gets the chance. The rest of us watch as he leaves. He's acting a little strange. I have to admit it. Why is he so against attacking the Bakersfield boys? What the fuck is his problem? Shouldn't he want revenge? It could have been his family. It could have been anyone's family that the OPPS attacked. We had to make sure they never came on our territory again.

Red speaks up saying something that I don't think he would if Lopez was in the room, "Yo. Ty, I love you man but your brother...he's getting soft."

I'm shocked.

Ty gives him a hard look, "What you just say?"

"I don't mean anything about it but I think he's getting soft yo," Red explains, "Lopez been in jail too long or something. Someone kills Yusef's family and he's talking about we need to think about it. He seems like he's getting a little soft to me. I don't know."

Ty looks around, "The rest of you feel this way?"

No one responds.

I shrug, "Lopez always used to be tough. He'll be down when we need him to be."

I can't believe I'm defending Lopez. Truth be told, I always had a soft spot for Lopez. Maybe it's his deep eyes. Maybe it's his sexy body or his muscular build. Maybe it's the fact that his dick was so good. I still hadn't told Ty that I was fucking his brother. Ty was a little crazy. He was a little jealous. The idea of telling him something like that kind of scared me. Just at that moment I hear a scream at the door.

"AY YUSEF!"

I leave the guns and head over to the door. I'm surprised to see that Lopez is standing at the door but he's not alone. My cousin is there. I roll my eyes.

"Didn't I tell you to stay home?" I ask Meech.

"I came to help...I know you're going to do something and I came to help," Meech says.

"You should listen to your cousin," Lopez butts in.

I turn. I want to ask Lopez why the fuck he is interrupting a relationship between me and my cousin but then I see how he looks at Meech again. Lopez has that glitter.

My stomach turns.

How many times had I wanted Lopez to look at me the way he is looking at Meech now? He's leaning into Meech. Meech is so dumb that I don't even think that he notices but I do. I can see it a million miles away. I was known at something of a HOE in these parts when it came to girls. I knew when girls were feeling me. I knew when girls were falling for me. Lopez had that look. The way his voice changes when he's talking to Meech is obvious. He's trying to sound sexier. He's standing a little bit taller. He's licking his lips a little bit more to make sure they look right for Meech. Lopez is trying to impress Meech and it is very obvious.

Meech shakes his head, "You guys are going to war. I text Ty earlier. He told me. He told me that I could come."

I was pissed. Why the fuck would Ty say some shit like that to my little cousin without going through me first. What the fuck was wrong with Ty. Right now I feel an anger inside of me unlike any other.

"Go home before I beat your fucking ass," I tell my little cousin.

I grab my little cousin up and push him against the door. I wasn't normally overprotective of Meech. I had been a bad influence. I had been the worst influence. Things were different now. I'd lost too many Buchanans to the streets. I wasn't going to lose more of my family members. There was no way in hell I was going to let that shit go down again.

"What's going on here?" a voice says.

I turn to see a white boy. He's handsome. He has blonde hair and gray eyes. He's pretty as all fuck. He looks like another Hemsworth brother or some shit. He is the same white boy from the funeral that left with my little cousin. I look him up and down wondering why the fuck my little cousin has been hanging around with this guy.

"Who the fuck is this Edward Cullen looking motherfucker?" I ask.

"I'm someone who is telling you to get your hands off of him," the blonde boy says.

I almost want to laugh. This guy has some balls on him. He's kind of big and he has the nerve to reach over and push me. Even then I'm still laughing. Usually white guys I knew were the ones that acted ghetto around the neighborhood. This was no Eminem. This guy was from the suburbs or something but he was still managing to have some balls. He was standing up for Meech without even knowing the kind of people he was standing up against.

He learns pretty soon.

As soon as he pushes at me Lopez pulls out a pistol and lays it on his chest, "You might want to back off Frosty. You don't want these problems."

The blonde boy looks at the gun. He doesn't move. He looks scared but he's still not moving.

Meech shakes his head, "Sterling, you can head back to the house. I'll be back there."

"You sure?"

"This is my cousin," Meech tells him, "I'm safe."

I'm so confused when the blonde guy turns and walks away. He goes over to this nice ass Jaguar and drives off. I'm shocked that my cousin was driving around with some Abercrombie and Fitch model in a Jaguar in the fucking hood all day.

"Where the fuck you find this guy? The Brady Bunch?" I ask.

"His name is Sterling. He was Cheyenne's fiancé..." Meech says, "You didn't have to pull a fucking gun on him."

Lopez flushes as soon as Meech looks at him. I know that look. He's embarrassed. There are different levels of embarrassment. There is the embarrassment you feel around someone you don't give a fuck about when you shrug and brush it off. Then there is the embarrassment you feel around someone you want to impress. Lopez is silent. He's awkward as fuck right now.

"I---I---" Lopez stutters.

We are interrupted as the guys walk out. Sterling is lucky as fuck that he missed the majority of them. I watch as I see them with bags in their hands. They are taking their guns out.

"Meech! Meech is that you? Still bugs me how big you've gotten," Ty says shaking his head, "Damn I'm getting old. Youngin' growing up. You came to hang with us."

"He was just going home."

"My ride left," Meech says, "They scared him off..."

At this moment I kind of regret getting smart with the blonde. He was probably a lot safer with that guy then he was around this group of boys. I look at all the bags everyone has in their hands. Red and DJ both look excited. Boozie and Kool Aid are trying to fit in with the other two more energetic boys. Then there is Ty. He has the biggest bag. God knows what kind of guns he has in his bag.

"We were going to test out some of these choppers," Ty said, "You want to come."

By choppers he means guns. Ty is clearly offering my cousin the opportunity to shoot some guns. I'm pissed right now. I'm beyond pissed at Ty. How the fuck could he be so fucking ignorant right now. How the fuck could he be so stupid as to make my baby cousin come out to learn to shoot these fucking military guns.

"He's good," I interrupt, "He was just leaving."

"Like I said. My ride left," Meech says, "So I want to ride with you guys. I want to learn to shoot something. I want to go to war when the time comes."

My cousin talking like this makes me so fucking uncomfortable. I'm struggling though because the other boys are all getting excited too. They are all cheering Meech on. Maybe they feel like they have to do that because Meech is acting like a man. He's going to get revenge for the massacre of his family. He wasn't going to cry and be depressed about it. He was going to take his fate back. I knew the pain. I related to it. Still I didn't want it for Meech.

I'm stuck, lost and confused. Luckily it's Lopez that comes to save the day.

"Actually I can take him home," Lopez says.

Ty sighs at his brother, "Yo why you trying to tell people what to do bro?"

"The kid just went to a funeral of three of his family members," Lopez explains to Ty, "He needs to go the fuck home. So I'm going to take him the fuck home. And if any of you motherfuckers got shit else to say about it then use me as the first target practice for those guns."

Lopez stands there challenging the others. Everyone is silent. You could hear a pin drop. I'm shocked and a little turned on that Lopez is standing up to everyone like that. I'm shocked that he was able to shut Ty up so quickly. Ty stands there looking dumb for a few seconds. I'm glad he does. He doesn't deserve this.

I whisper a soft, "Thanks" to Lopez but I don't know if he sees me. He is too interested in walking Meech over to his car. He opens the door for Meech. The others seem to notice it but they don't say anything. He closes the door behind Meech like a gentleman taking a lady out on a date or something. Then he drives off not saying another word to any of us.

There is an awkwardness when he leaves but then Ty puts a gun in my hand.

"Let's go," Ty tells me.

We head out into the woods in back of the cemetery to shoot the guns. It's dark before I know it. It's just us out here. Boozie made sure to bring the alcohol and before I know it I'm a little drunk. I'm sitting on one of the tombstones watching the others shoot the guns at statues near the grave sites. DJ is teaching Kool Aid how to hold a gun properly.

I am overhearing Ty's conversation with Red.

"Fly ain't it?" Ty asks.

Ty shoots a few times.

"Hell yeah," Red says in an excited tone.

Ty looks over at me, "You want to take a few shots Yusef?"

I shake my head. I'm pissed at Ty still for inviting Meech out here. I guess we were just shooting but the kid was in mourning. He didn't need to be with us right now. Ty had no sense of anything else but being a bad guy sometimes.

"I'm good," I shake my head.

"Oh well," he responds, "You remember this gun, Red?"

"Hell yeah. That's a Luger. You gave me one a few years ago. Lemme take a few shots."

He reaches out for the gun. Ty is about to give Red the gun but he stops short. He pulls it back surprisingly.

"Yeah it's a one of a kind out here," he tells me, "Only two ever made. I gave you one. Remember that?"

"I thought I gave it back."

"Nah. You never gave it back," Ty says, "I would have remembered. Gold bullets. Short Recoil. Toggle locked. It was a beautiful gun. I would have given it back. Matter of fact: where's my shit homeboy? I want my gun back."

"What?" Red asks, "I don't have it. I mean if I do have it I'll look for it but I don't yo..."

There is a silence. It's an awkward silence. DJ and Kool Aid stop turning to see what Ty and Red are discussing. Ty has a weird way of getting a little quiet before discussing something. He looks over at Red. There is a deep penetrating stare that he gives Red. It comes out of nowhere.

"Where's my fucking gun yo."

Red laughs, "Ty I don't know."

"Something funny."

"Just you keep asking me about this Luger. I don't know where it's at."

"Gold bullets. I had gold bullets. Fuck is my gun bitch?" Ty asks.

All of a sudden Ty raises his gun at Red! I jump up off the gravestone. Boozie just stands there shocked and confused. Ty has the gun pointed directly at Red's temple.

"Yo Ty cool out. He doesn't know where your gun is," I state.

"He knows. Where's my gun Red?" Ty asks.

"Yo are you serious? Are you serious right now?" Red asks him, "I swear to GOD! I don't know where your fucking gun is. I didn't steal shit. Is that what this is about? You want it back? I thought it was a gift. I misplaced it. I don't fucking know...I don't know. You can't be serious right now. You gonna point a gun at me dude?"

Ty's silence is piercing.

"Dead serious."

I hear the bang so loud at that moment! I'm shocked when it happens.

We look down at Red's dead body. The other boys are staring hard at it. I don't know if they are shocked or they are expecting it. I'm the only one sweating and breathing heavy. The others just seem scared to say anything. Maybe they are scared of Ty. I'd never seen him kill a guy without thinking like that. I'd never expected him to be like this.

"You guys clean this little bitch up. Dump his body in the water."

DJ, Boozie and Kool Aid don't answer but they immediately start getting to work grabbing up Red's body. Red was dead. Red was fucking dead!

I am looking at his body and all I can do is shake my head and whisper a slight, "Oh fuck..."

My chest is hurting. I'm sweating. Ty just KILLED one of our childhood friends like it was nothing. There was a limit to some shit. There was a limit to a lot of shit. This was different. How long had he been planning to kill Red out here? He had brought him out here in such a slick way. He was planning to do this in such a slick way.

"You coming back to the house or no?" Ty asks me.

I look over at him and follow behind him.

Ty takes me up to his room and closes the door. He takes off his shirt and throws it on the pile of dirty clothes in the corner of the room. He opens up a beer and drinks it. I watch it the whole time. He's been so quiet since he killed Red. He hasn't said a fucking word about it. He hasn't said a peep. It's just like nothing happened. Nothing at all.

I'm sitting on his bed when I just shake my head.

"What the fuck?" I ask Ty, "You...killed..."

"I killed Red," he finishes.

He takes a swig of his beer. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. He lays back on the bed.

"What the fuck?" I ask.

He takes a minute and breathes for a second, "He was a rat. You hear me? He was a dirty little rat. He was informing the Bakersfield gang about shit."

My heart races.

"Oh my god," I say.

He nods, "Right. I told you that I got your back, didn't I? No matter what. Red probably set up Meech's family. It was the Bakersfield gang. We got to get rid of the OPPs, baby. I meant what I said. They declared war against us by attacking your family. And if it was anyone else I would have forgiven them. But not you. Remember the first time we had sex?"

I sit there. My mouth is dry.

"You told me that you weren't gay. You told me it was just the drugs," I remember.

"Yeah. I told you it was just the drugs," he says, "I was right. Except it wasn't the cocaine. You were my drug. I'm addicted to you."

I look over at Ty. Red had betrayed us. This had to be done. I find myself grabbing onto the side of Ty's face and leaning into him. I kiss him as hard as I can kiss him.

"Thank you," I tell Ty.

"You don't have to thank me," Ty explains to me, "I know we can't live like a normal couple. I'm a trap king. You have a baby's mother. I know I can't take you out in public and hold hands like all those straight couples do. I can't marry you. I can't promise you to adopt a kid and live in a white house in the suburbs ever. I can't promise you any of those things. But that doesn't mean I don't love you."

Fuck.

"You love me?" I ask Ty.

It was the first time Ty ever said something even close to that. We fucked...often and we fought a lot as well. I had never thought it had become love or anything close to it. When he looks in my eyes I believe him too. I believe Ty actually does love me.

This was really happening.

"I can't promise you a diamond ring," Ty explains to me, "But I can promise you that if need be I'll die for you and when the time comes I'll always kill for you. Your enemies struck a blow to your family. I'm going to make sure they regret the day they ever heard of the Buchanan family."

There is a power in his voice at that moment. I realize that this is just the beginning. Ty has revenge in his eyes and I'm loving every moment of it.

I jump on top of him and rip off his shirt. His sleek muscles are strong and fit. He pulls me down to the ground and starts kissing me. We wrestle for a little bit. Ty is always rough especially when he is pulling off my clothing. This isn't the most perfect love but this was our love. His kisses aren't some prince charming or something. The way he looks at me isn't ideal. I know that I will never find ideal though. This is what I'll have to deal with. I'll have to cope with my drug lord. I'll have to cope with my trap king. I'll have to make the most of it and love every moment of it.

He turns me around. It's not romantic. It never is. Head down, ass up. My body is itching for his dick.

"Fuck me baby. Give me that dick."

He spits in his hand. He puts it on his dick. Ty is rough. He's so powerful and so controlling just like I like it. When he shoves his dick in me I scream. My head is flat on the bed.

"I love you. It's you and me forever OK. I'll give you the world. You hear me?"

It didn't matter that our world consisted of 5 blocks. He was going to give me them. We would rule these 5 blocks together. My king Ty with me at his side. Nothing would be able to stop us from expanding even further once the OPPs were all gone. We'd wipe them off the face of the Earth. He couldn't give me roses, but he could give me blood dashed on dirty sidewalks. For me that was still the same. For me that was even better.

It's at that moment listening to his promise that I realize it.

"I love you," I tell him.

He grunts when I say it. He fucks me, harder; deeper; Longer. He wants it to last.

That's when I look under the bed and I see something that blows my mind.

I see Ty's old sneakers.

The bottom of the sneakers has green paint on them...

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