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Time Will Tell Chapter 14 - Preparations
"FINE! You want to know my problem? You want to know what pisses me off so much about you?"
"I don't really give a shit anymore Sean. You've missed your opportunity now."
"No, no. That's all right I'll tell you, then we'll see if it's better you knowing or not."
"Fine, go on then. What's been bothering you Sean?
"You fucked the guy I'm in love with."
The silence was stunning, the shouting match we'd had up until that point was diffused in split seconds. It was so strange that the anger had drained out of us both instantly and simultaneously. I looked on at Sean with a mix of emotions, disappointment, sorrow and fear. Disappointment because of the way both our worlds had turned upside down, sorrow because one of us would inevitably lose out and fear that it would be me. I was reluctant at first to believe that this had happened.
"What? That can't be true. What did you say?"
"I'm sorry Danny, I've fallen in love with him."
"You're wrong, you can't have. You just think that you're in love with him that's all."
"It sure doesn't feel that way Danny. I've never felt this way before."
"You're not even gay."
"I'm bisexual, that's enough for me to fall in love with him."
"You can't do, don't do this to me Sean. Please."
"I haven't done this to you Danny, I couldn't help it. I know how happy he is with you so I'm not going to confuse him by telling him how I feel. That and because you're my brother and I wouldn't want to lose you. I love him which is why I'm leaving him happy with you, but the second that you don't treat him right is when you'll have a fight on your hands Danny."
"Don't think that you'd win it, not that I'd ever not treat him right. If you loved him even half as much as me you'd know that I could never hurt him."
"This isn't something that I wanted to happen to us Danny, we've always been so close. I never wanted to tell you but you can see through me and you'd already noticed something was up. I guess it would have only been a matter of time before you figured out exactly what it was."
"I'm not sure if I would have suspected that." I had begun to calm down now.
"Danny I'm sorry that things have turned out like this."
"So am I Sean. So where do we go from here?"
"Nowhere, we'll just pretend that this never happened. We'll know it did but I don't want ANYBODY else to know that it did OK?"
"OK." A tear began to form in my eye as I thought the next problem out. "Shouldn't you tell Conner? I think he has a right to know and to make his own choice rather than us governing his life." I was terrified tat I may have to let Conner go should he chose not to be with me.
"I think it would only confuse him and make us into enemies, neither of which are things that I would like to happen. I couldn't take knowing that in the end he'd chose you over me and I think it would be the same for you."
"You're probably right. This is really weird Sean, you know that? I never thought that you might be like that. Especially after your reaction when you found out about me."
"That was mostly shock that we both were, well, you know, we both like guys. Especially since you were goin' with the hottest guy that I'd ever seen outside of a film."
"So, you're bi then."
"Yeah, I'm not normally that bothered by blokes though, just the really good looking ones."
"We've got similar taste in that respect then."
Sean chuckled at that, we had some relationship left at least. "I suppose we do."
I had been walking around town now for over four hours being dragged from shop to shop by Kate who had agreed to help me find a Christmas present for my Conner. I was getting really pissed off, there was nothing that suited him and nothing that would be special enough for him. Kate was still as happy as when we had left the house this morning. An amazing feat considering we had been shopping for the one present for all these hours and was showing no signs of being pissed off with my constant string of 'No' to every suggestion she made. I was getting really upset that I couldn't find anything. There was only two days until Christmas and town was really busy.
"How about a Calvin Klein wallet, that leather one there is gorgeous."
"It's too impersonal again."
"OK, get a tattoo of his name on your arse then."
"He knows that's his already!" Kate laughed at my response.
"What is going to be personal enough for him then? I'm not putting up with this twice a year you know?"
"Twice?"
"He has a birthday too you know. You have to buy him a present for that."
"Oh, OK."
"So come on then, what are you going to get him?"
"I don't know. I just know that I want it to be really special."
"No shit! We've been looking for something special but nothing seems special enough for him. You'd think you were marrying him."
"A little too early for that my dear. Give it another month or two." I joked.
"OK, just as long as I'm the best woman."
"Something like that." We had carried on to the next shop now.
"A new watch?"
"No."
"Partridge in a pear tree? Two calling birds?"
"Oh, Christ! Don't you start on that too. If I hear that one more time I'm going to explode!"
"Not on me though, I don't want bits of you down my new top."
"You sure, you always used to want me down your top before."
"Big headed cheeky bastard!" I laughed as her face turned ever so slightly red. I loved to embarrass people, Kate was certainly no exception.
We continued passing from shop to shop, searching long and hard for the perfect gift for my boyfriend. As we passed a jewellers I took a look in it's window and saw a beautiful gold ring. It had this sort of trellis pattern in the centre of it and what looked like two bars either side of the pattern circling the ring. I called Kate over and pointed it out to her.
"That's not too effeminate is it?"
"I don't think so. The one with the pattern in the middle?"
"Yeah."
"Danny. It's œ110!"
"Jesus, that would be perfect as well."
"I'm sure there's more inside, let's take a look."
"No, it's that one. That's what I want to get him."
"Danny, you probably haven't spent that much on all the Christmas presents you've bought so far in your life. It's too much, there's probably nicer ones for less inside."
We went inside and had a look around at some other rings. None matched the one in the window though. They didn't look like Conner's style the way the one in the window did.
"Can I help you?"
"Yeah, can you tell me how much you charge to engrave a ring?" Which one were you thinking of sir?"
"I'll show you, it's in the window."
"Danny!" Kate suddenly said to me sternly. I just looked at her in an almost apologetic way and lead the guy who was serving me to the window.
"That one there."
"A nice one isn't it, what is it you'd like written on it?"
"I love you CS." For some reason I wasn't embarrassed. Normally I would have been but it seemed so natural to say it that I thought nothing of it. Even though I hadn't said a name silly sentimental things had always embarrassed me but not this time.
"And it's for Christmas I assume."
"That's right."
"Well I could do that for closing time which is half past five, and it would cost you another œ15 extra."
"Should I pay now?"
"You can if you like."
"I'd prefer that, I don't suppose you take debit cards though do you?"
"I'm afraid not, you'd have to take the cash out I'm afraid."
"OK, in that case I'll pay when I collect it, 5:30 you said yeah?"
"That's right, and the initials were CS, that's right isn't it?"
"Yeah."
"I'd better write that down then, OK, I'll see you at half past five then sir, thank you."
"You're a fool Danny."
"It's perfect for him. I had to get it for him Kate."
"How much money does that leave you with?"
"About twenty."
"Do you have any other present to buy?"
"No Conner's was the last one."
"You're a fool Danny." She repeated.
"Why? I can get him that if I want to. I want him to know how much he means to me."
"That's not the sort of thing that a circle of metal can do Danny, he knows you care about him, how do you think he'll feel if he finds out how much that cost you?"
"What do you mean?"
"He hasn't spent anywhere near as much as you did on your present."
"He doesn't need to, he knows that."
"Does he? I just hope that he doesn't feel embarrassed by his present to you when he gets yours."
"He won't, he doesn't need to spend that much on me and he knows it."
"Then why did you need to spend that much on him?"
"Because I wanted to. I love him and that ring is absolutely perfect for him."
"I hope your right Danny. I hope your right."
"I have to go to New York on the second of January boys. I got a call at work yesterday, they're bringing some sweet over here from America and they want Cartwright to do the advertising. Are you two going to be OK on your own?"
I looked over to Sean nervously, he looked back at me then to mum and answered on our behalves.
"Yeah mum, that's fine." With that he went back to his mashed potato and carried on shovelling it into his mouth.
"Danny?"
"Hmm? Yeah fine. Bring me back a bag of those almond M and M's again will you?"
"Is that all? I was expecting a whole list."
"Anything, you'll think I'll like too then."
"That sounds more like the response I expected from you. Oh, and whilst I think of it, I know that you'll have Conner round here the second that I leave Danny, so just be careful OK? Be safe and everything. I'll go down to the chemist before I leave for you."
I heard the muffled laughs of my brother from across the table. He was doing his best to keep the potato in his mouth and not laugh out loud, probably at how red my face had just gone.
"Mum! I'm eating!"
"Well I just worry for your safety that's all, you should know that."
"Neither of us have ever done anything like that before. And I don't think we have to worry about pregnancy."
"Just be sure Danny that's all I ask." I didn't want to tell her it was too late for that, besides I was sure.
There you go. Uh oh, Danny and Sean alone in the house together what'll happen between those two with Conner in the way? How will Conner react to his present from Danny? What surprises lie ahead for the gang? Who knows? Time will tell. Don't forget to write wanna_get_lucky@hotmail.com !