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Chapter 26 - The Blues
"What? What's going on?" I had had difficulty in realising that I wasn't really on a train in Tibet with the school football team. My mum never had been one for waking me up nicely though. Even as a child she had simply pulled my duvet off me, shook me hard and shouted 'Time to get up Danny!' The world was pitch black save the light that was pouring in from the hallway and burning my eyes.
"Come on, you said you'd take me to the airport."
"What? Oh, yeah. What time is it?"
"Half five, get dressed quick we have to leave soon or I'll miss my check in."
"It's half five!? Half past five in the morning? You never told me what time you'd have to leave!"
"That's because it's half past five in the morning sweetheart, you wouldn't have agreed to take me if I'd have told you what time we had to get up now would you?"
"Damn straight I wouldn't." The cold air of this early March morning had me shivering uncontrollably. My mum turned on my bedroom light and left me to get dressed. It took all my effort to get my eyes to adjust to the bright light and to manage to stop myself from falling over as I tried to get my trousers on, it was so damn early! I didn't have to get up till half eight for school usually. I opened my curtains and was greeted with a black canvas of sky, just black. It was obviously going to be a cold day, maybe even wet. The stars were being hidden by cloud and the horizon couldn't be distinguished from the night sky, the sun wasn't even considering rising yet. It was far to damn early even for the sun!
"Mum! You said goodbye last night, look at the time! Let me sleep." Sean's voice amused me highly, it was week and catching, like when you have something stuck at the back of your throat making it crackle, it was all this and getting more and more high pitched as his moaning got into full swing. "I don't have to get up for another two hours, you said goodbye last night before you went to bed, you didn't need to come in waking me up! Shut up laughing Danny, this isn't funny!"
"You don't have to get out of bed and drive at least little man!"
"I didn't have to get up at all."
"I thought you might want to say goodbye again to me before I left you Sean, I'm sorry."
"Ooh, I'm sorry. OK, mum. Have a good trip, I'll see you in two weeks."
"Three, they needed to extend it remember?"
"Three?"
"That's right. OK, go back to sleep sweetheart. I'll see you soon, take care!"
"Bye mum. Don't wake me until you have to when you get back Danny."
"OK, see you later."
"Sure."
Mum and I walked down and out to my car, I carried her suitcase for her. I had a thick winter coat on and was still freezing. The icy morning air and the fact that I was tired as hell made my blood feel as if it was freezing in my veins, maybe it was!
"OK, you have plenty of food in the fridge, some ready made meals in the freezer, I've left instructions for heating those up on the notepad in the kitchen. There's money for the third week's food in an envelope beside the toaster and your Aunt has emergency money again. Don't forget that you and Sean both have appointments at the dentist next Thursday, my phone number is on the fridge, try and avoid calling me on the mobile unless you have to, it costs a hell f a lot when I'm on an international band. Take the bottle of wine that's in my bedroom to Jenny on her birthday for me, tell her that I'll give her a ring when I'm back, her birthday is a week Tuesday. Bins go out on Wednesday nights and there's enough Coke in the garage to OD the British army on caffeine. Anything you want to ask?"
"Err, no. Well, how much money have you left? Have you left some for petrol too?"
"I have. You should have enough to keep you going."
"Thanks mum."
"Danny!"
"Uh huh?"
"What the fuck are you doing? It's nine, we're meant to be at school!"
"We also have the house to ourselves."
"What? Oh, we're skiving?" Sean's face shifted from one of worry to one of excitement. "What about Conner? How is he getting to school if you're not picking him up?"
"I already have he's in my room changing out of his uniform."
"Oh right. Cool, so what are we going to do today?"
"I don't know, could just hang around here I suppose."
"Yeah, for a while anyway. Could go down to Blockbuster, hire out a couple of videos to watch."
"Yeah, we could get The Faculty out, I want to see that film again."
"Cool."
"Hey Sean."
"Morning Conner."
"Babes? What did your parents say to you moving in?"
"They weren't keen on the idea but said that, if I got in the way then I'd need to come home or that if the school complains about my work then I'd have to go home. Also that I was only here for the three weeks at the most."
"Excellent. My boyfriends moving in for three weeks. How cool is that?"
"Very." He sat down on my lap and we kissed for a short while. Sean was watching the telly which had been on. We were soon interrupted by the phone ringing.
"You get it Danny."
"Why don't you?"
"I'm watching the telly."
"I'm kind of busy myself!"
"Conner can sit back on you after. I'll miss the story line if I go."
"Fine, you get it next time though."
"We'll see."
"Hello?"
"What the fuck are you doing at home? Get to school you lazy bastard!"
"Morning Trix. How's school?"
"Shit, as always. Alright if I come to yours?"
"If you want, you got a free yeah?"
"Uh huh, but I'll stick around for the rest of the day too if that's OK."
"Sure thing, I don't know what we're doing really yet though, we're getting out The Faculty to watch again but that's the only plan so far."
"Sounds cool, anything's better than school."
"Granted. That's why I'm at home."
"It's you Conner and Sean then yeah?"
"Uh huh. Is anybody else coming round?"
"No." A sudden answer, it seemed a little strange.
"Oh, OK. They got lessons?"
"Yeah, most of them, Scott's in Psycho with Luke and the girls are at their school till after lunch."
"OK, I'll see you soon then."
"Danny?"
"Yeah?"
"Err, I need to, no, sorry, could you, err, pick me up?"
"Yeah OK. From the gates?"
"Are you coming now?"
"If you're ready yeah."
"Is Conner picking up the video with Sean or something?"
"What, no they're still here. That's not a bad idea though."
"Yeah."
"Are you OK?"
"What? Why d'you ask?"
"You seem distracted."
"No I'm OK."
"OK, I'll leave in about five minutes then, I'll see you at the gates in about fifteen minutes OK?"
"Uh huh, see you soon."
"Bye."
"Bye." Trix seemed to be trying to get at something. It was as if he was trying to say something or trying to get something out of me, I couldn't figure out what though.
"You picking up Trix?"
"Uh huh."
"What's wrong with him?"
"He says nothing is."
"What did you think was then?"
"I don't know, he just seemed a bit weird, I can't really even put my finger on it."
"Upset about something?"
"Maybe, I haven't got a clue."
"It's probably nothing too important then."
"Hopefully. So do you two want to go and pick up that video then?"
"That's not a bad idea."
"Yeah OK."
"I'll just go and get myself ready."
"Uh huh. Oh Danny, I used your trainers last night when I went to the shop, they're in the garage."
"Oh that's where they are. I was looking for them this morning."
"Sorry bro."
"That's alright. Leave them by the stairs if you do use them though yeah?"
"They were a bit wet from the drizzle, they should be fine now though, they're by the radiator."
"OK. Hey, why don't you two go and call on Dodgy after you've been to Blockbuster, he'll probably be grateful that he doesn't have to spend another day with his Gran and parents."
"Yeah OK."
"I'll leave through the garage then, see you later guys." I gave Conner a kiss on the cheek and left through the kitchen to the garage.
"Oh come on! Mitch? You really think he's better looking?"
"Easily, Sam is a fine looking young guy, but Mitch is better."
"Conner, he's not even that good looking. Mitch pales in comparison to Sam. Sam is the God of Home And Away."
"He is not! Mitch is better by far, it's those big eyes."
"No, sorry you're wrong there."
"Sean, if anyone here is wrong it's you!"
"Well, it's my opinion at any rate."
"You're the one who brought right and wrong into this man."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah! Now Haley, as far as Australian soaps go, Haley is the best looking actress."
"She's pretty, but she doesn't flick my switch, you're arguing with the wrong guy for that one. I'm all the way over on that score remember, you're the bisexual one here, I have no opinion on women."
"OK, fair enough, but it's Sam."
"Mitch."
"Sam."
"Mitch!"
"Sam, or I tell Danny that you'd be willing to two time him with Mitch!"
"Cheeky bastard! He'd do the same if he got the opportunity with Leonardo DiCaprio anyway. What are we talking about anyway? Theses guy's are all famous, as if we'd ever have a chance with any of them!"
"Yeah, I suppose. Sam though."
"Would you let it go?"
"Fine. Mitch, ha!"
"Shut up!"
"Hey."
"Hey."
"Ready?"
"Just let me get my seat belt on, OK let's go."
"So are you sure you're OK?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." Trix and I both fell silent. He was upset about something, now that I had seen his face, I could tell he was upset. His whole demeanour changed when he got upset. He obviously didn't want to talk about it though, so I didn't push the subject.
"Danny?"
"Yeah?"
"Trace split up with me this morning."
"What? Why?"
"We just grew apart I guess."
"What did she say."
"She said that we weren't really much of a couple anymore. She said that we were really good friends and she wanted it to stay that way."
"What did you say?"
"I thought she was right."
"And do you?"
"Yeah, I do, really."
"Then how come you're so upset."
"I'm upset about something else really."
"Well, what then? You can talk to me, I won't say anything to anybody else if you don't want me to, not even Conner."
"I don't know if this is the right time?"
"Well, whatever it is, if you want to then I'm here for you man."
"I know. Thanks Danny."
"It's nothing."
"It means a lot though to hear you say it."
"What are friends for huh?"
"They rarely come better than you though Danny."
"Don't flatter me, I have a big enough head as it is."
"It's true though. I can talk with you about things that I would never even consider telling other people."
"Good, I'm here for you."
"Yeah."
"What's brought all this on Trix? You're not in trouble or anything are you?"
"No, why?"
"It's just all this soul bearing stuff isn't your scene."
"I don't know, I'm not in trouble no."
"OK. Something's really bugging you though I can tell."
"Yeah, pretty much, but like I said, I don't think that now's the time."
"OK. Whenever."
We fell silent again until we arrived back at my house. I was puzzling over in my mind what was wrong with him, trying to think of what it might be, of any clues that might reveal the mystery for me but nothing came to mind. I was just going to have to wait until he told me.
"Danny?"
"Yeah babes?"
"Are you OK?"
"I'm a little worried about Trix, he seemed upset."
"It's because he split up with Trace, he'll be fine. He's just not used to being single that's all."
"I suppose so."
"He'll be fine don't worry." I hadn't told Conner about my conversation with Trix in the car, I didn't know if he'd appreciate me telling Conner so I thought it best to leave it.
"You're right."
"There's something else that I've been wanting to talk to you about for some time now too."
"Oh?"
"Meyrick."
"Oh!"
"I know he's out of your life again now, but I want to know what he did to you. What he threatened to do the same to me with."
"Conner, I"
"I know you don't want to worry me about it but I would like to know."
"He's out of our way now, it's not important because it will never happen."
"What will?"
"Conner, please don't make me tell you."
"But why? What is so serious that you can't tell me?"
"Conner, it just doesn't seem right you knowing. It's something that I've put behind me."
"I can't see how it would change if I knew then."
"You really want to know don't you?"
"I'm sorry, I do. I know that I should trust your belief that I don't need to know, but I can't help it, I do."
"I've never told another living soul this babes, not anyone, Sean, mum, anyone. The only people who know are John and myself. It was the night after I told all my old friends that I was gay, that included John in those days, he rang me up asking me to meet him in the park. When I got there, he lead me off to some secluded area at the back of the park and knocked me out with a branch from a tree. When I came round, I realised that he'd raped me." Conner was silent. He didn't move. I felt sick, I hadn't let anybody know that ever, I had wanted to keep it that way. I couldn't not tell Conner though, I was scared that he might think that I didn't trust him or something. He knew now and I was waiting for his reaction to it, for some time too.
"Why didn't you go to the police?"
"I didn't want my parents to know that I was gay, if I told the police about John, he would have said what I had told him and I was scared that my parents would find out."
"How do you keep something like that to yourself? How could you not need help with dealing with it?"
"I had to. I was scared that everybody would know that I was gay, they all thought that I was anyway in the end but I still denied it, it's how I became such good friends with the guys now. They felt for me, Trix, Luke, Scott and Dodgy, there were others back then but we don't hang round with them anymore."
"I'm sorry that I made you talk about this Danny."
"I think it might help in the end. I guess I would have told somebody at some stage anyway, I'm glad it is you."
"I love you Danny."
"I know, I love you too. Now, let's get some sleep, I think that we should go to school tomorrow."
"I suppose so. Night gorgeous."
"Night babes."
That's it for another chapter, stay in touch, I think that I might put some cliff hangers in soon! He he he! So go on talk to me, wanna_get_lucky@hotmail.com check my site out too on http://www.luckys_place.homestead.com