Time Will Tell

I'm back! My damned exams are over, they're done, done, done! I'll let you all know how I faired on the 17th August when I find out myself (whether you're interested or not). Thanks to those of you who have kept in touch whilst I've been out of writing and thanks to those who have helped get me through my exams and keep my sanity at the same time (you know who you are). Well, let me know what you think of this latest chapter at wanna_get_lucky@hotmailcom and take a look at my site whilst you're on line too! http://www.luckys_place.homestead.com

Chapter 32 - Defection

One thing I shall never understand is women. They are amazing some times aren't they? I just can't begin to imagine how their minds work. In the first three days of school after we had been officially outted, all the girls, and I mean all the girls that came to study at our school had stopped to talk to me, Scott, James, even Conner and Ryan too and they don't really even know them since they're not in the sixth form yet. It was so weird! They seemed to want to be our friends all of a sudden because we were gay. I can tell you though, some of the guys were more than a little perturbed by this situation. I'd had some disgusted looks, angry looks, nervous looks and all sorts of other kinds of looks this week. The girls seemed to really enjoy being able to say that they had guy friends who were gays and I just couldn't see the overwhelming attraction. We were the centre of attention in a different way now, well those of us who were at school were. Scott hadn't been to school since that Monday and there hadn't been any answer from his house whenever I tried to phone him. I was actually getting quite concerned, at first I had thought it best to leave him be for a while till he realised that he couldn't hide forever but the fact that I hadn't spoken to him at all was worrying me.

There hadn't been any other fighting incidents for any of us to deal with, Meyrick was suspended for thirty days as promised by the headmaster and our group of friends had never been so close. It was quite funny but more and more people were trying to hang around with us too, I guess they could see our effect on the women and decided that rather than hate gays, they'd use us as bait! OK, so a slightly cynical viewpoint, but some of the guys who were hanging around with us by Thursday were ones that had been sneering at us on Monday. Conner was getting to grips with people knowing and I had been proud of the way that we had handled it. People were beginning to forget about the big deal already before even a week was over. I think I understood why as well, when I was outted on my own, I had denied it, that only made it more funny for the other people, they could see that they were getting to me and were revelling in the fact. Now, we had admitted to it and weren't willing to be bothered by it. That put the other students noses out of joint, we weren't bothered that we were gay and they were wasting their time making fun of us because they could see that it didn't bother us that we were. We were stealing the fun right out from under them, also the fact that there were now five of us in the school meant that we were there in force and the fact that the schools most popular people were still hanging around with us showed that it didn't affect the higher social ranks and that if less socially inept kids wanted to better their social standing, then they couldn't be seen to care either. It was weird how we had changed the entire schools outlook on gays in under a week and it was still radically reforming.

On the Tuesday night mum had rung home to check up on Sean and I. Neither of us remembered to ask about the housing brochure for San Francisco, we had other things on our mind. My mum was as concerned for Conner and I as I had expected her to be, worrying herself and warning me not to be left alone, or be stupid and start fighting, or to let things get me down. She knew all to well, as did I, how things can turn out for young people when they are outted and I'm sure she had no desire to have to take me down to casualty at three in the morning again because I had tried OD'ing on paracetamol again. I assured her that it was OK this time and that my friends were sticking by me, not turning against me. Not that she doubted that, she knew how good my friends were, I got the impression that she wasn't too keen on some of them, but she never said anything and had known that they knew that I was gay and that they hadn't said anything to anyone so far. Sean and I decided that we would quiz her about the brochure when she got back as she had said that she probably wouldn't call again since she was getting back on Saturday evening.

We were all making the most of the fact that my mum wasn't home whilst we could, the guys were around every evening and other people were too. Paul had left Wednesday evening and had told us that his parents had agreed to let him spend the summer over here with us. Conner's mum and dad had been over a number of times, they seemed extremely cool about the fact that he was basically living at my house whilst my mum was away. On the Wednesday evening, Mr. Shears had actually stayed to hang around with us all, it was pretty cool actually. He was really young at heart and always up for a laugh and he fitted into our sense of humour pretty well, Conner didn't even seem bothered by the fact that he was there with us. He had come round originally to see if we needed any groceries since he didn't think that my mum would have supplied us with enough money to cater for Conner's daily meals as well as our own but we did. He brought round a loaf of bread and a couple of pints of milk and said that if there was anything else that we needed then to just let him know. I invited him in for a cup of tea and he did, then he just settled down chatting for the evening with the rest of us! Making jokes and telling little anecdotes.

Everything otherwise was going as routine as usual, apart from the fact that rehearsals for the school play were becoming more and more frequent. We had had one every other night this week and had been given a schedule for the following two weeks leading up to the production itself. It was going to be two weeks from now, for the Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights. The cast was spending quite a bit of time together. Some of them had been apprehensive of being near me for the first rehearsal but about half way through the Thursday rehearsal they all seemed to talk to me as if nothing had changed. Callum Wearing (or Caz as everyone called him) and I had become quite good friends, before I was outted, through rehearsals and he didn't seem bothered at all.

"Hey Danny."

"Hey Caz, all right?"

"Yeah, you? How's open gay life treating you?" It amazed me how he didn't seem phased by the concept at all. Most people would talk to me as if they were pretending they didn't know I was gay, avoiding any reference to sexual behaviour whatsoever. Others just never mentioned the fact but Caz didn't care though, he explained to me on Tuesday that he had thought he might have been bi when he was younger but that he realised that that had most likely been curiosity really. He was so unbelievably open about himself and his opinions that people couldn't help but be fascinated by him, he just spoke out loud not worrying what people thought of him, but he was a great guy too. He was quite the comedian in fact and a real outgoing guy, it amazed me that he didn't seem to have many friends, I just assumed that he had ones outside of the school or something. We never really talked about that though.

"Not bad, pretty interesting to see who gives you the time of day now that they do all know though."

"Well, the girls don't seem to understand the concept of homosexuality, they all look as though they're trying to give you more than the time of day!"

"I noticed that, no they just like the idea of an emotionally outgoing guy I think."

"Yeah, I think that makes most sense. Hey maybe I should pretend that I'm gay so that I can get some of the attention you, James, Conner and Ryan have been getting lately." I laughed at that.

"I think that that might deplete your chances a bit mate, if they think you're gay, they'll think your flirting is just for fun."

"Ah well, it's worth a try though, isn't it?"

"Hmm, could be interesting."

"Hey Helen, I'm gay wanna go out with me tomorrow night?"

"Drop dead Caz." Helen was a Goth, she didn't like attention from people like us, she only stuck around with Goth people. I could relate to her a bit, Goth's are basically outcasted in society but are abundant. It wasn't like some underground scene like it was with gay people in school. What I didn't like about Goth's though is the fact that they pride themselves on being different, I don't think that's any way to go through life, trying to be different, something you're not. I didn't dislike her, in fact I didn't have any opinion on her, apart from that the white dress she had to wear to play Gertrude, the queen, suited her much more than all the black clothes and chains and body piercings and stuff that she wore otherwise.

"You're right Danny, it didn't work."

"I'd say keep trying but you might get a name for yourself."

"You learnt that damn last scene yet?"

"Yeah, I got it done last night."

"Finally! Wanna run through it?"

"In a little while."

"Err, right guys. Could you all make your way to the stage, I just want to talk to you all before we get started." Mr. Bennett always had these little speeches to give at the beginning of each rehearsal to try and inspire us and let us know how he felt the rehearsals were going. They reminded me of the kind of group counselling sessions that you see on American TV shows. You know the ones? Where they all sit around and describe their emotions and tell each other how they feel. It seemed a good idea but it wasn't one that the British population had picked up. A true Brit kept his opinions to himself and his emotions under wraps. "OK guy's, well I think, to be honest that we are nearly there! I'm thrilled with how the rehearsals have gone so far. You have all proved to be more than adequate actors and to be heading in the right direction in the way that you are exploring the identity of your characters. I think that this last act has a few more things that need to be tidied up and that once we've done that we can start on full dress rehearsals and an entire run through of the play. Daniel, you're going great guns with your part, just remember what we decided about the nunnery scene, you really have to go for it! Remember I want you to grab Ophelia and everything, shake her, you can practice that with Gina in your own time I think. Make an evening out of it maybe, you could go out for dinner after or something, make a romantic affair out of it." He had his usual grin on. Mr. Bennett had that awful disease that affects only those members of the population that worked in the teaching profession where the sufferer makes the stupidest and most pathetic jokes and believes full heartedly that they are the funniest human being ever born. People were laughing AT him, I couldn't work out if he knew about me or not, surely he must do, that was the joke in it. "See? I'm a good match maker, don't you think guys?"

"Not really sir." Ethan Warrington. He was playing Claudius, a nice enough guy, a little on the boisterous side maybe.

"No? Is Gina not Danny's type?"

"I don't think so sir, that's probably an understatement." Everyone laughed. I was finding this quite amusing really.

"No? Is that true Danny? Would you not like to get together with young Gina here?" He was grinning, he didn't realise that everyone was laughing at him, not his attempts to embarrass me, I knew he was going to be the embarrassed one here in a minute!

"No offence to her, but she isn't my type no."

"What is then Danny? Helen perhaps?" Another outburst of laughter, I was enjoying this now.

"No sir, Helen hasn't got the right bit's n' bob's for Danny." Caz butted in getting the loudest laugh so far.

"How do you mean?"

"No franks and beans sir."

"Franks and what?"

"Third leg sir? Err, one eyed trouser snake? A todger?"

"What are you on about Callum?" Mr. Bennett was getting quite confused now.

"I'm gay sir." He'd suffered enough, I thought it time to save him any more humiliation.

"Oh!" That was the point where there was the loudest laugh, his face went so red it was unbelievable, he didn't know what to say. The look of shock on his face was priceless. We all managed to calm ourselves down eventually, but that was a moment that was not going to be forgotten soon.

"Hey guys."

"Hey Danny."

"Hi gorgeous." Conner had begun falling into the habit of throwing his arms around me and greeting me with a kiss when he hadn't seen me for a while, even in public sometimes now. Not that I had any intention of complaining of course!

"Evening Danny."

"Hi Mrs. Shears."

"OK, well I'll leave you kids to it, Conner you're sure you don't want to come home for dinner? Danny can come too, we should have enough for the both of you."

"Oh, I got some pizza's already on the way home just now Mrs. Shears."

"Fair enough then. I couldn't pull you away from such a nutritious meal as pizza could I? I'll see you both soon OK?"

"Bye mum."

"Bye Mrs. Shears."

"Bye boys, bye gang." There was a course of 'bye's' as my friends answered and she left.

"So how was your rehearsal?"

"Interesting, Bennett was trying to match me up with Gina Forester. You should have seen his face when I told him I was gay, he was so embarrassed it was unbelievable."

"Cool."

"We having a party tomorrow night Danny?"

"I suppose we can."

"Who we inviting?"

"Err, the usual suspects I guess. Oh, I'll bring along a few of the guys from the play though."

"Oh yeah, who?"

"Caz Wearing, Ethan Warrington, maybe see of Gina wants to come along and Ben Campbell."

"Cool. Err, this Caz guy, he's an OK guy isn't he?"

"Yeah he's a great guy, a right laugh too."

"Really? Who does he hang around with?"

"I don't know, nobody from our school from what I can tell, I never really asked though. Why you so interested anyway?" I knew why Trace was interested without even asking, I just wanted to watch her squirm. He was a cute guy, open, friendly and had a good attitude. He was actually just Tracey's type, and it appeared that she knew that. She'd been asking me periodically things about him since she had found out that I was in the play with him and her interest was fuelled further when I told her that we had been talking with teach other a lot.

"No reason, just curious."

"You've been pretty curious for some time now, it seems to me like you'd rather be a little more explorative now." Trix commented. He was grinning at Trace, basically he was letting her know that it didn't bother him if she went out with other people. I think that she had been nervous over the idea since they had broken up, worried that one of them may grow jealous or something. Trix took the whole thing very well and they were both being surprisingly mature about their break up. Trace smiled at Trix bashfully, a little nervous.

"Oh, you noticed then? I didn't want to cause any trouble."

"Don't worry about it, I think that we're doing well, we seem to have managed to stay friends, nothing happened to make us want to leave the relationship, we just grew apart and decided that we should call it a day. It was mutual so there's been no hard feelings on either side."

"I know, it just might have been a bit weird. Dating someone else you know? I don't even know if he's interested yet either so I was just playing it safe I guess."

"Well go find out, it won't bother me so you shouldn't let it bother yourself."

"Thanks Trix."

"Don't mention it."

"Where's Sean?"

"Gone to get some privacy with Claire. I think they're arguing again."

"Anyone spoken to Scott yet?" No answer. "Anyone want to come for a drive then? I'm going to go to his house see what's going on."

"Just ring Danny."

"No, nobody's been answering and I'm starting to get worried, even Robbie hasn't heard from him."

"OK then I'll come." Luke, Conner and I headed out to the car and we pulled off. The evenings were getting lighter and lighter all the time now. Summer was on its way at last. As I drove the car I couldn't help but notice that the kids who lived on our streets had diverted their activities to other distractions for this coming summer season. In previous years the little shits had spent summer evenings running around screaming, playing football, cricket, rounders, rugby, hockey and even golf once or twice. The golf had certainly got them into trouble a couple of times! When Sean and I had been younger we would join in with them out there, then they were even younger and Sean and I used to enjoy winning whatever we put our hands to and also making up extra rules like you can't kick the ball hard if your name begins with an 'P', they would usually buy it too! They believed everything that we said because we were older than they were and therefore knew everything as far as they were concerned. This summer was leading them into a different kind of sport though, courting! The kids that would usually be seen with a sporting toy or two were now seen with girls under their arms. It made me laugh a little actually, it just occurred to me that people changed so quickly.

We made it to Scott's house where there was a light on in the lounge and in the hallway. I rang the doorbell and stood waiting, the others had joined me on the doorstep. I saw someone approaching the door from behind the frosted glass. As they got closer I recognised by the murky shape and build that it was Scott. He nearly made it to the door, stopped appeared to hesitate and turned in his tracks. Confused I rang the bell again and saw him stop and turn to come back. Once he made it to the door this time he slowly unlocked it and just before he opened it he turned off the hall light inside.

"Hey Scott, what happened there? Why did you turn around when you got to the door the first time?"

"Hi. I, err, I thought I heard the kettle boil."

"I just wanted to come round to check that you were all right."

"Yeah I'm fine Danny, thanks for coming but I've got a few things that I need to do. I'll give you a ring sometime soon OK?"

"Scott! What's happened to your face?" I heard him whisper 'fuck' under his breath and knew that something was wrong. I had thought that I'd seen what looked like a scab when his face got caught in one of the street lamps that had just flickered on. The muttering that he made only added to my suspicions. "Scott?" I pushed the front door open which he'd been holding so that we could only see a little bit of him sticking out of before now. He didn't look to pleased with me and tried to shield his face taking a few steps back into hallway hiding himself in the shadows.

"You can't be here Danny. You have to go now." He whispered intensely, quite angry now. I ignored him and turned on his hall light. I was sickened at the sight that was presented in front of me. He had a black eye and cuts that had scabbed over running up his face that were embedded in bruises which looked pretty painful, they did look as if they were making signs of fading now though. His whole left side of his face looked badly hurt.

"Who did this to you Scott?"

"You have to go, please."

"Not until I find out who did this to you."

"It's nothing you can do anything about Danny now get out."

"Why are you doing this to yourself? We can help, we don't even have to fight them back, we can just tell the police."

"No we can't it's not like that Danny, you have to go. Please go, you have to." Something in his insistence that I left made it click into place who had done this to him.

"Scott? Did your mum do this to you?" He fell silent, just looking at me with the sting of fear in his eyes.

"Please just go." I didn't know what to say, his not responding confirming my suspicion. I didn't know what to say to him or if I could help him even if he wanted but I needed to. I couldn't leave him like this. Living in fear of his own mother. How could she do this to him? He was such a good person, he had such a great nature and was a great human being. He didn't deserve this.

"Scott, come with us."

"I can't. It's not that simple, she'd kill me."

"If you come with us then she can't."

"And what am I going to do then? I can't hide from her forever, I need somewhere to live."

"You can live with me."

"Don't be stupid Danny. This isn't some fucking TV programme, it's not like Home And Away in real life Danny, you can't just walk into someone else's house and expect them to keep you as their own child like that."

"Then only for a while then, stay with us until we can sort out something more permanent for you."

"Danny I can't. You have to go now before she comes back."

"Is this because you're gay?"

"She found out Danny. She knows about all of us." At that point he started crying. He'd been getting more and more wound up as our loudly whispered conversation had progressed. I went to put my arm around him. We heard noises coming from upstairs.

"Scott! Who the hell is it? Close the fucking door!"

"You have to go Danny." He managed to say, still crying.

"We have to go Scott, please I can't leave you here like this it isn't right." Scott looked at me, he was thinking about the idea. I wanted so much for him to agree.

"Your mum comes back on Saturday doesn't she?"

"Yeah."

"So what do I do then?"

"We have time to think about that before it gets to that. Scott, you can't live like this."

"Danny, it's my mum. I love her, she just wants what's best for me."

"She can't beat what's best it into you Scott." He winced at the words and slowly started heading for the door. I followed and we got into my car, Luke and Conner looking worried at how Scott looked. Luke didn't say anything and just put his arm over Scott in the back seat which was where Scott had run to once he made it out of his house.

"What's going on Danny?" Conner asked worriedly.

"We got a run away staying with us for a while." And with that I set off for home with Scott now under our protection.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine thanks. Better at least."

"Do you want to talk about what's happened?"

"No, I don't really want to have to think about it."

"Well if you do then you know we're here for you."

"I do, this is just something that I need to think about for a while."

"Danny called Robbie for you as well by the way, he's on his way round now."

"Really? That's all I need!"

"I thought you would have been happy."

"It's just he's going to go on and on about how I should have called him and how this wasn't the right way to go about things."

"Do you want me to tell him you're asleep?"

"No Claire, that's all right. I know he loves me and that's why he does it."

"You still thinking things over about him?"

"Sort of. I like him, you know? But it's not love though and it's not fair of me to string him along like I have been doing."

"I think that you should try and make a decision as quickly as you can, things could start getting messy otherwise."

"I know. Claire? Thank you for being here for me. For taking care of me like this."

"What are friends for huh?"

"I've missed being with you, you know?"

"Me too."

"This is nice, just being here with you."

"Yeah."

"Morning Scott."

"Hey Sean."

"You OK?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"You want something for breakfast?"

"Err, no thanks."

"Sure? We got plenty here."

"No, honest I'm fine thanks."

"If you're sure. Are you coming into school today?"

"With my face like this?"

"You don't have to tell people who it was."

"I'd rather not be in a situation where I have to give an explanation for anything."

"I suppose so."

"Besides I don't think Danny's going in today, or Conner."

"No? I think I might skive too then."

"Morning boys."

"You're not going in today Danny are you?"

"Nope, do you still want a lift in?"

"Fuck off am I going to school if you lot aren't."

"Fair enough then. I'll be going in at lunch to let some people know about tonight though."

"Uh huh."

"Sean? Could you do me a favour and go to the shop for some butter?"

"Why me?"

"Because you haven't needed to go to the shop for anything, you've never been here to have to but you keep on finishing stuff off. You had the last slices of toast the other day so I had to go to for another loaf of bread because you'd gone missing."

"Fine, I'm not dressed though, so you'll have to wait."

"How long?"

"Till I'm dressed obviously."

"Are you going to get dressed now?"

"Yeah."

"Well that's what I wanted to know."

"Fine then, see you in a bit." Sean left Scott and I alone.

"You OK?"

"No."

"What happened exactly then?"

"She was drunk, she has a drinking problem you see but nobody knows that Danny so I don't want you telling anyone."

"No, of course not. I suppose that's why you never wanted people coming over to yours over the years?"

"Yeah, she's fine for most of the time, during the day, at work, then she comes home and she's OK but she starts drinking when she gets in, whisky, gin, vodka it doesn't really matter. Always the cheap and potent stuff, and it, it makes her, well, violent. By early evening she's aggressive and she takes it out on anyone or anything."

"Jesus! I had no idea Scott, I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well she heard from Graham Winters mum about all of us, they work with each other and Graham was here at the party remember? Apparently she said something like 'I think your Scott was very brave at that party the other night.' Of course my mum wanted to know what she meant and she found out. I think that that's why she got as angry as she did, because she found out from someone other than me. She hates gays anyway. She told me that she didn't want me to have anything to do with you, Conner, James, Ryan and especially Robbie again. She said that if I did I'd have to leave home. I guess I covered that one already."

"Scott, I'm so sorry. I really don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything Danny, you've already helped me more than you realise."

"Maybe she'll come round? Come and find you, you are her son after all, you might find that her maternal instincts kick in and she'll want her baby back despite what you are."

"Yeah? Well I won't keep my fingers crossed." I looked at Scott in amazement, if that would have been me telling somebody all that, I think I would have been in tears. Scott just sat looking a little melancholic about it. I knew it bothered him more than he wanted to let on because he had cried over it yesterday when we picked him up. That had been the first time that I saw him cry. I'd seen him close to tears before, but never crying like that. I leaned over the table and gave him a hug. I heard him sniffling, he was close to tears now.

"You'll be welcome to stay here as long as you need to Scott, don't worry about that."

"I think that's up to your mum Danny."

"Not likely, I will not let you out of this house!" He smiled at me and got up to leave the room.

"Do you have a spare toothbrush I can be using then?"

"There's a new, unopened one in the bathroom cupboard, bottom, back, right hand side I think."

"Thanks."

"No problem Scott."

"Scott?"

"Uh huh?"

"We need to talk."

"I know."

"About last night."

"Of course."

"What are we going to do about it?"

"I honestly don't know what we can do about it. It happened and we can't take that back."

"Do you think I should tell him?"

"That's up to you, but I don't think that it's a good idea."

"No, you're right, but is it the right thing to do?"

"I don't know. I'm sorry for putting you in this situation."

"It wasn't your fault."

"It was. I didn't stop to think, I don't even know HOW it happened."

"No, I know. I didn't think you'd have been capable of that."

"Well, it was a first for me."

"Scott? I love you."

"I know. That's why I'm so sorry for having put you and everyone else in this situation, it wasn't fair of me. I know I'll have hurt you over this and I'm so sorry for that, but you know why nothing can come of it."

"Yeah, I know."

"I feel like such a slut!"

"Don't! That's not fair on yourself now!"

"No it's true. I did it to Danny and Conner and now I've done it to you two."

"Scott. I let it happen. I think that I should break up with him."

"Not because of me, that's not fair on either of you."

"How could I look him in the eye now? I've betrayed his trust. You're all right, you'd already broken it off with Robbie."

"No but I've still come in between a relationship again. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why can't I just stop things before they get so out of hand?"

"Scott! You've had a hell of a rough time of late and you don't know whether you're coming or going. I had no excuses, this was my fault. I could have stopped it happening too."

"I still don't know how it happened though. I mean, I've never been turned on by a woman before Claire! I mean Sean is one of my best friends, how could I do this to him?"

"Sean and I have been drifting apart recently, I was going to break up with him soon anyway. I know that that isn't any consolation, but it's the truth. Scott, we shouldn't tell anyone about what happened. I don't think that it would be something that they would want to know about anyway."

"I think you're right. I'm going to feel guilty as hell though about this."

"I know. Me too, Scott. Me too."

So then, which side is Scott batting for? Does he even know? Have we seen the last of Robbie? What will happen with Sean? Will Scott be able to go home anytime soon, or ever again? Who knows? Time Will Tell? Well, let me know what you think of this latest chapter at wanna_get_lucky@hotmailcom and take a look at my site whilst you're on line too! http://www.luckys_place.homestead.com