Titanic

Titanic Part 3: Day 2

Please Note that this part contains Chapters 9 - 12.

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Titanic

Written by JD © 1999

Part 3: Day 2

(April 11th, 1912)

Chapter 9: The Morning After

I was screaming at the top of my lungs and thrashing out at whoever was trying to hold me. I struck out with my fist and the next thing I heard was a satisfying groan as my fist struck the man's family jewels. I was not necessarily trying to hit him there but was still satisfied that it did the trick; which was to get the man who was trying to hold me still, to finally let go me.

For some reason though something didn't feel right! Even though I was wet all over, I was no longer in the ocean, but now on a flat dry wooden-like surface. It took me several minutes to realize where I was at and to fully awaken from my nightmare.

In front of me I saw my dad still groaning and I realized that it was him I hit in the family jewels. I started to look around me and noticed that everyone was awake and staring at me. In those few second's I noticed that I was no longer in my bunk, but now was lying on the hard floor. I was all twisted in the blankets I managed to pull down with my body, when I fell off the bed.

Between my fear of the dream I was awaken from and of what my dad was going to do to me for hitting him where it counts, I just broke down and started crying. Huge sobs were now coming out of my throat, while tears poured down my face. I tried to stop the tears as I kept on telling myself to get a grip; 12 year old boys are not supposed to cry, but it was no use.

I hadn't seen my dad who was starting to recover from the wild punch I threw out at him, getting up as he started to shake off the pain. Once up, he once again grabbed and wrapped his strong arms around me, hugging me to him. I was having a hard time believing that he was not hitting me for the punch I did. Instead of punishing me he was holding me and rubbing my back while telling me calmly to just let it all out. Here I was blubbering like a baby and dad was telling me to just continue, of course I couldn't stop then if I wanted to. For about the next 15 minutes I cried until I no longer had any tears left to cry. Still dry sob and heaves came out of me for several more minutes before I was able to get control of my emotions again. I had felt like I had let a lifetime of worries behind me. I was finally calmed and able to talk and the first thing I said made my dad laugh.

"Dad you realize that I got my pee all over you now." I wasn't trying to be funny at all but serious. I couldn't understand what Dad found so funny, which is why I was trying to figure out why dad was laughing so hard. As tried to ask him what was so funny dad started to laugh even harder and as they say with laughter it is very contagious, soon everyone else was laughing as well. It was like all the tension of the last 15 minutes was being released and without knowing why for sure I couldn't help myself as I too joined in with the laughter.

After everyone finished laughing we decided it was probably a good time to start getting ready for the day since Breakfast would be served in a couple hours.

When dad finally let me go he did indeed have a large wet spot on the front of his night gown that he wore to bed last night. I was so wet this morning that I actually was shivering. One look at the bed and I could tell that I really flooded it, which meant that I must have peed more than once during the night. Even Tim was soaked in it and like me stank of urine from head to foot. While Tim and I were trying to pick up all the wet sheets and blankets off the floor and strip the rest of the bed, Dad and Uncle Josh went to get a quick shower.

Mom had Tim and I strip out of our soaked pajamas and told us to go grab a shower down the hall. Of course we were both naked and didn't really want to be seen naked by some stranger, but mom refused to allow either of us to wear any clean clothes down there as she didn't want to dirty something else. In the end she agreed to allow us to wear our peed underwear and told us while we were down there to wash them out real good in the shower.

So, a little after 5am that morning, Tim and I headed to the showers to have our first real wash since boarding Titanic. While walking we started to talk a little about my dream.

"So you had another bad dream again huh"?

"Yeah it was the same one I had last night, and I am starting to be so scared and afraid it might really happen".

"By the way I am sorry I peed on you so much last night, truthfully I don't remember doing it more than once though, but I guess I must have and just didn't dream my second accident" I added.

"Um-mm, I have to be honest you were not the only one who peed in the bed last night"!

When Tim said that he actually surprised me into silence, I didn't know what to say. I guess Tim took that as a bad sign, as he felt he needed to explain to me why he too peed the bed.

"I woke up earlier this morning needing to pee and found that you had already wet the bed, so I figured why try to climb over you and possibly wake you up. I just decided the bed was already wet and I too was wet as well, and so, I guess out of laziness I decided to just let it go in bed".

"Oh," was all I could manage to say to his honest answer.

"I am sorry maybe I shouldn't have done that, I wasn't thinking about it looking like you peed that much"

I told Tim it was okay that he just surprised me is all. I did ask him when he noticed I was wet because I was trying to still figure out if I did pee the bed more than once last night.

"Well right after I was finished I tried to go back to sleep but before I could you started to get restless and were talking in your sleep. I tried to wake you but for some reason it was almost like you couldn't even tell I was there. Then all of a sudden you started to scream and before I knew it everyone was jumping out of bed, someone turned on the lights, then you fell on the floor because you were twisting and turning so much. Finally your dad tried to grab you and calm you down but I think you really surprised him when you punched him in the no-no spot!" Tim laughed.

"I swear I didn't mean to!" I defended myself.

"Hey Josh, please don't be upset, I didn't mean for it to sound like that!" Now it was Tim's turn at defending himself."

For the next few minutes neither one of us spoke to each other, as we headed down the hall towards then bathroom.

Finally Tim broke the silence between us. "For a minute there I thought your dad was going to beat you black and blue, especially after he grabbed you again" Tim tried to break the ice that froze up between us.

I could see Tim's side very easily as I was sure Dad was going to spank me for what I did. He told me and even proved it when I got in trouble right before his good news. I was never too old according to him to get a spanking. So when he didn't spank me this time confused the hell out of me.

"Anyway you know what happened next. When everyone started laughing I never couldn't figure out why they were or why I even started. I guess it must have been a grown up thing!" Tim said rolling his eyes!

I admitted to Tim that I too, was wondering what everyone thought was so funny. "I swear I had no idea what they were laughing about and at first I thought they might have been laughing at me because I wet the bed."

Of course that was stupid because never in the past did Mom nor my dad ever make fun of me over wetting the bed! Like him I said "I couldn't help but join the laughter as well but like you, I don't know why I did."

As we entered the showers I told Tim that the laughter did make me feel better.

The shower room had four separate showers with Tim's and my dad in two of them and the third was being used by another person. Trying to save time, Tim and I decided to just take one together, that way we can even wash each other's backs. As we were getting in the shower together my father was getting out of his and offered it to me, but I told him we were okay and that we were going to help each other clean up. With that our Fathers (Uncle Josh was now out of his shower too.) left and headed back to our cabin.

We each took turns standing under the warm water trying to rinse as much of the pee off our bodies as we could. We were also still wearing our peed stained underwear so before we started to wash our bodies we took them off and washed them out with the bar of lye soap that was left for people to use. While we were doing this we heard the last person in the shower room finish up and leave, we were now alone and could freely talk to each other.

"Um Josh I am curious about something, I didn't want to say anything about it until we were alone so I wanted to wait until that other guy left."

I, who was already soaping my front up while Tim stood under the warm water waiting for his turn made a nod of acknowledgment. Since the dream of Titanic once again sinking I had totally forgot about earlier that night. In fact I truthfully didn't even remember until Tim reminded me that it happened.

"Last night, remember when I woke you"?

"Um, Huh"? I said not really paying attention to what Tim was saying at that moment.

"Well last night you kissed me then you started to push your body into me. I swear I could feel your little penis rubbing up and down my thigh"

"Uhhhh...." I started to say.

I was so ashamed all of a sudden as the memories of my dream about Jacob resurfaced and once again Tim was asking me about it. The last thing I really wanted to be doing right now was trying to explain why I did something that I myself was not sure why, and was so embarrassed at what had happened.

I found myself no longer soaping up my front in fact I had stopped before I had made it down below my waist. Don't ask me why but suddenly I found myself looking right down at my once again hard as a rock boy toy. Looking at my penis as Tim called it and later told me that was the proper name for it, I found myself ashamed of not only what I done last night but also over the fact that I was getting hard right here in the shower with Tim. I was still at that time not sure why this was happening, but something told me that it was not right for it to happen now, or should I say not appropriate now.

What Tim did next shocked me as much as him (As he didn't know why he did what he did.), he reached out and grabbed my small stiff boy-toy and held it like he was inspecting it. Again I don't understand why but I started to pump my body so that my penis was rubbing back and forth in his hand. This started me moaning again and soon led to another dry orgasm. Tim just looked at me like I might have grown a second head before he asked if I was okay. To him it looked like I was having trouble breathing or something as he was mistaking my moans as gasp for breath. He started to look a little scared but amazingly he was still holding my now limp penis.

"No... No... I am okay, I don't know what just happened but that felt great"! I shouted in ecstasy!

Tim was still staring at me and it was about then that he realized he was still holding onto my flaccid penis. He quickly let go of it and stepped back a bit like it was going to all of a sudden attack him. I realized that he still had no idea how good it felt, so without thinking I reached out and grabbed Tim's penis which unlike mine had a few hairs crowning his now stiffing rod. I noticed that Tim was too stunned to move, so I decided to do the work for him.

I quickly started to rub his penis (I decided to use this name at least while around Tim.), which made Tim's get hard as a rock like mine did a moment earlier. This only encouraged me more and I picked up the pace. Before long Tim was also moaning and now was pumping himself in and out of my hand. Unlike me though, when Tim finally started to orgasm, (which at that time I had no clue of what it was called.) a small amount of clear fluid thicker than pee shot out of the tip of his penis. As I was curiously looking at my hand where some of the fluid landed, Tim was trying to find his breath.

"That... That... Oh my God, that was G-R-E-A-T!" he shouted a little too loud. Matter of fact because of the sexual activity we were in the middle of we didn't even notice that someone had come into the shower room and was now peeking into our shower stall and watching us.

When the man cleared his throat was when we finally noticed him there looking at us. He had the goofiest expression on his face when he realized he scared the living bejeebers out of us. I guess he could tell that we were very embarrassed to be caught in the act like we were.

I think the man was about to say something but either he lost his nerve or he just felt like he intruded already more than he should. As quietly as he entered the showers, he left.

Not knowing what to say to each other we just got quiet and ended up finishing what we were there for. I quickly finished washing my front and turned around to let Tim wash my back. I did feel Tim hesitate when he reached my bottom but after a second or two of hesitation he finished the job. We then switched positions but instead of Tim washing his front and me doing his back I had a strong urge to wash his whole body. I reached up to grab the soap from his hand and while the water was washing the soap off my body I was lathering up Tim's body paying a lot of extra attention to his bottom and penis.

We were just finishing up getting all the soap rinsed out of our hair when Tim's dad shouted in at us wondering what was taking so long.

"Sorry dad we got to talking and goofing around, but we are almost done now" Tim replied a little too quickly allowing some of the guilt he was feeling come through his words.

Fortunately his dad either didn't notice, or thought it was just because he caught us goofing around instead of showering.

"Okay just hurry as you two have been in there over a half an hour" replied Uncle Josh as he left to go back to our cabin.

A couple minutes later we had dried off and were now headed back to our cabin with our towels around our waist and our now clean still wet underwear in our hands.

Neither one of us spoke to each other since the man had caught us in the act. Truthfully I was scared that maybe I had upset Tim as he really wasn't looking too happy at that moment. I also realized that I still really hadn't explained myself about the dream and what I did. I couldn't help thinking that I might have ruined my first friendship I made away from England and almost felt like crying again. Luckily this time I was able to hold back the tears and managed to think about something else, the damn dream of the ship sinking sprung up again in my thoughts.

I am still not sure why uncle Josh felt the need to rush us in the shower since by the time everyone was ready breakfast was still almost an hour away. We decided that since we were ready for the day and had some time to kill that we would all go out to the deck and do some sightseeing.

I, still feeling a little afraid from the nightmare and a little ashamed of what I did with Tim, was not really in the mood for looking at the ocean just then. Not willing to talk for fear that my voice would betray me, I just followed everyone else out to the deck.

Amazingly several other people, mostly couples were also thinking the same thing and looking out over the water. I found myself looking at a young couple who were speaking to each other so softly that I could not hear what was being said. I did notice that they were lovingly holding each other's hand, and then without any warning they started to kiss and I don't mean a quick peck on the lips like I do with mom or dad, but a full lip locked kiss. I even could tell they were sticking their tongues into each other mouths. I wasn't so sure about the tongue thing but I started to imagine kissing Jacob that same way.

I guess mom must have asked me a question because all of a sudden I felt her and everyone stare at me. I guess mom had realized what caught my attention and immediately, forcibly turned my head away from the kissing couple.

"Harrumph, you would think young people like yourself would be a bit more appropriate in front of children" my mom chastised the couple.

Personally I don't think the couple cared what my mom thought as they continued their pattering of affection and just ignored my mom completely. This of course made her upset!

"How about we just to go ahead and see if the dining room might be open early." Mom fumed!

I think everyone was a little bit happier when we found that the dining room was indeed open already. Though we were able to take a seat at our table, we were informed that they could take breakfast but it still wouldn't be served until breakfast time actually starts. With that we placed our order with a familiar looking waiter who I along with Tim also recognized. I wasn't able to place him right away though, until with Tim's help I remembered that morning in the shower. I swear for the life of me, I couldn't figure out who he was until Tim kicked me under the table to get my attention. While our parents were not paying attention, I saw him mouth something but I must have been stupefied at that moment as I still had no idea what he was trying to tell me. It wasn't until he mouthed it again that I realized what he was trying to tell me. The waiter was the guy spying on us that morning.

After realizing who he was, I couldn't help staring at him every time he came back into the dining room. I also noticed that Tim to was doing a lot of staring as well.

"Would this guy say something to our parents?" That was the unsaid question running through my mind. And I just knew Tim was having a similar question also on his mind.

I decided I had to talk to Tim and I wanted to talk to him now, but did he really want to talk to me after what I did this morning? I figured I just have to drop the bait and see if Tim catches it.

"Mom I really need to go to the bathroom is it alright for me to be excused to go? I asked my mom.

Gratefully Tim did catch on and said that he needed to go as well.

"Okay boys please hurry and just go straight there and back. We don't want to spend half a day looking for you. Remember this morning is going to be a busy one for us." Mom agreed.

I wasn't sure at the time why mom had my morning planned out but was happy at the moment for a chance to speak with Tim alone.

Neither of us said a thing until we entered the bathroom right outside the dining room. I decided while there I might as well empty my bladder so I went to pee and Tim stepped up next to me to do the same. It wasn't until we were shaking our penises and stuffing them back in our pants that I finally found the words I have so desperately wanted to say to Tim.

"I-am-so-sorry-about-this-morning! I-hope-you-aren't-mad-and-please-don't-hate-me! But-I-guess-I-will-understand-if-you-do!" I blurted out running all the words together in one long string.

"Huh" Tim said while looking at me in almost the same way he did this morning, like I had two heads again.

I took a deep breath and this time repeated myself at a slower rate so that he would understand what I said.

"I am so sorry about this morning; I hope you are not mad. Please don't hate me, but I guess I will understand if you do." I repeated.

"I don't really want to talk about that now as I am having trouble understanding what exactly happen this morning, but I do want to know if you think that waiter is going to tell our parents?" Tim asked me.

I of course had no idea what he might do and I think my answer wasn't what Tim was really hoping for, as he seemed to scowl at it.

I thought for a moment and decided that maybe we were just worrying too much. Who was to say that this guy would say a thing? I decided to tell Tim what I was thinking at that moment.

"Well I am not positive, but if he were to say something don't you think he would then have to explain his looking in at us. I would think he would be afraid to lose his job if he were to say something. Besides it almost looks like he is having fun lording it over us right now" I said.

We quietly decided to go ahead and not worry about it as my explanation did seem to make us feel better. Before Tim could leave to go back to the table I stopped him. I once again decided to broach on the subject of what we did that morning. If I didn't, I felt I was going to die right there in anticipation of what might come, whether it be good or bad.

"Tim, again I am sorry, but you surprised me when you grabbed my boy tool!"

"Your penis," Tim corrected me before I went on.

"Okay `my penis', when you grabbed it I have to tell you it felt so wonderful. When I got the real good tingly feeling I felt the most amazing that I have ever felt, and I didn't want to stop."

I continued to try to explain how it felt, I even mentioned how it felt like all the fireworks were going off in my head. I then went into detail about the dream from last night where I was dreaming about doing things with Jacob.

Through all of this Tim was very quiet, until I finished by telling him why I then made his penis feel good. I thought he would understand it better and feel how great it felt.

"Josh, please understand I too thought it was the best feeling in the world that I had, and I didn't want you to stop! In fact I liked it so much that I want to do it again, `BUT'..." and I could see this was a big but. "...when that waiter caught us in the act I felt dirty and like we had done something wrong."

"So are you mad at me? It just seems like ever since this morning you have been acting different with me." I asked Tim in a whiney voice. I really was doing the best I could holding back the floodgates hoping that he would answer no.

"Well... um..." Tim started to explain. "...I know I have been acting weird but please know that I do want to be friends still. I am just confused about what we were doing this morning." Tim said as we were about to leave the bathroom, to head back to our table.

As Tim was reaching to open the door he stopped and turned around and looked into my eyes.

"I know it felt good and I really like that feeling, but at the same time it was kinda creepy, especially when that waiter guy saw us."

"Tim, I understand I just want to forget it and hope we can still be friends."

"Well that is okay with me, who knows maybe after I have had some time to figure this all out; I might then be more willing to talk about it."

As we reached our table we noticed that besides Mr. Green, all the rest of the Greens were present.

"So is Mr. Green still under the weather." my mom asked Mrs. Green shortly after we returned from the bathroom.

"I am sorry to say that he is, but he looks at least a little better today." replied Mrs. Green.

The adults continued to talk about things that I could care less about and was happy when our food was put in front of us so that we could eat and maybe Tim and I could go off exploring some more that day.

I was just finishing up my breakfast and was about to ask my mom if I could be excused, when suddenly I heard my name mentioned. It seems that Mrs. Green was asking my mom about something dealing with me. I decided I should stay and hear what the two of them was saying. So I made the decision of staying, to eavesdrop on what was being said about me. That's when I started to listen into their conversation.

Mom must have not heard the question as well because Mrs. Green repeated herself.

"I was wondering if you still needed some material for that project you wanted to do for Josh"

"Well I thought at first that I wasn't, but I am not so sure now." mom said.

Of course I, not really being very bright, never even considered that Mrs. Green and mom were talking about diapers for me again. I actually was thinking that they were discussing some project to do with Uncle Josh and not me.

The next thing I heard Mrs. Green say did get my attention though.

"I tell you we were all woke up pretty early this morning because of someone screaming their head off. We were about to go ahead and make a complaint when finally it stopped though." Mrs. Green complained. "You didn't by any chance here it as well?" Mrs. Green asked my mom.

At first I did not think my mom would say anything as I was sure that the whole thing would be embarrassing to her, as well to me. But she once again shocked me by telling Mrs. Green that it was me doing the screaming.

I think my dad must have seen what was going on because before I could bolt again he managed to grab me and pull me into his lap. Once in his lap he held me tight and announced loud enough so that the whole table could hear.

"Josh here had himself a nightmare, nothing to be ashamed of. I use to have plenty myself at his age and still do occasionally."

I was intrigued with dad's answer. I would have never believed my dad had nightmares before if he hadn't said it for himself.

"Y-y-y-o-u d-d-do?" I asked stuttering due to my nervousness of the topic.

"Well sure I do! I don't know how many times I have had bad dreams of losing you, your sister, or even your mother!" dad said in a shockingly voice.

"Anyway son why don't you tell us everything you can remember about the nightmare you had, okay?" dad asked in a calming manner.

So I told everyone about my Nightmare and how in it the Titanic sinks to the bottom of the ocean. Without telling specifics I tried to tell them how the dream always starts off good and everything is okay. I then tell them with all the detail I can how it changes and becomes almost real feeling. I wanted them to understand that I wasn't just seeing this in my head, but I could also feel the icy cold water... taste the salt from the water splashing on my face... and I could smell the fear in the air... All of my senses were working overtime and because of this the dream seemed so real, just thinking about it made me shiver as if I actually went through this for real! I told them how I couldn't find my parents or see anyone I knew. Embarrassed I told them how at that moment in the dream I would usually pee my pants out of fear. I quickly went on to explain how the lights flickered for a moment and I thought I was going to be plunged into darkness. I knew just talking about it was giving me the Heebie-jeebies but it also started to feel a little less real as well. I finished by telling the end of the dream where the Aft of the ship was rising high out of the water and the man, with the voice I somehow recognized but could not place who it was, grabbed me and jumped from the ship into the freezing water.

I thought about telling them how in my confusion I hit my dad in the family jewels, but decided that it was not necessary. Besides the last thing I wanted to do was remind my dad about how I hit him that morning.

I was just leaning back into dad's chest thinking to myself when Jeremy Green asked me a question that I really didn't want to answer.

"So when you are having this nightmare and you get to the part that you pee your pants, do you think that is when you're wetting your bed?"

Even though it was a question I really didn't want to answer, I found myself answering anyway. I am not sure, but I think a lot of it was due to it coming from little Jeremy who was only 8 years old. Anyway because of being shocked I actually answered it before really thinking.

"Yes, yes I do." I said.

"Well then if you can stop having the dream maybe you will stop wetting the bed." Jeremy added.

At first I wasn't sure what to say and was glad when someone else spoke up at that moment. It turned out it was Mrs. Green.

"Now Jeremy, that is enough! I think you should be more concerned about your own problems before telling others how to fix their problems!"

And just like that Mrs. Green changed the topic again and soon was telling mom where she might find some shops in Queenstown that may have what she was looking for.

"Mom, Is it all right if Tim and I go and see if we can find our friend Jacob?" I asked.

"Well honey we are going to be going into Queenstown here in a little while to do some shopping."

"But Moooooom, why do I have to go? I just want to have some fun with my friends." I whined.

"I will tell you what, first we will go back to the cabin as your dad and I want to talk to you, and after that I will let you go play with your friends till we get to Queenstown. Okay honey"

"Okay but can we go do it now?" I begged.

And just like that, my dad lifted me off his lap, got up, and took hold of my hand. I couldn't help wondering if he was still afraid that I might try and bolt again. Mom had also gotten up out of her chair and asked Mrs. Green if it would be okay if my sister Jane could hang out and play with her children for a while.

"We would be delighted to have her stay with us for the day. Maybe we could even take her for the night as well considering how much her and my daughter Gwen have become friends." said Mrs. Green.

"Well thank you very much, I am sure Jane would love that very much and it will make things a little easier as well." Mom thanked Mrs. Green.

As we all started to get up to leave I asked Tim if he was going to come to the cabin and wait for me so that we could take off together to find Jacob.

Before Tim could say anything though Uncle Josh looked at me and said. "I am sorry Josh; I know you and Tim wanted to play together this morning. I promise that you two will be able to do whatever boys do in this day and age, but first I would like to go for a walk with my son and just spend some family time together. I promise we will meet you at the cabin in a little while."

I was disappointed and a little curious as to why it seemed everyone was going their separate ways all of a sudden. As our cabin got closer my young mind started to spin and whir. All of a sudden something clanked in place. If dad hadn't been holding my hand, I might have bolted right then and there.

I started to think. We were going back to the cabin, just me and my parents. Mom had asked Mrs. Green to look after my sister Jane, now why would she do that? And finally Tim's dad decided they needed some alone time. I knew all of a sudden why it seemed that everyone was going in opposite directions and that was because my parents orchestrated the whole thing just so they could corner me alone for a "TALK". I also knew that right now there was only two reasons why they would want to talk to me alone and there were either about my nightmares or my bed wetting. I also knew that we discussed already that morning in detail about my nightmare so that left my bed wetting.

Knowing now what our talk was going to be about, I was even less looking towards hearing it. I decided to take it like a man and be brave.

Once we were shut in our cabin my parents sat down on my mom's bed and guided me in between them.

I looked across at mine and Tim's bed and noticed once again that the bed and been cleaned and fresh sheets and blankets had been put on it.

Dad cleared his throat and began. "Son, please know that we don't think less of you. No matter what, we will always love you, and we will do whatever it takes to protect you. We know you have been having these awful nightmares and we are saddened to know that it has frightened you so badly."

"What I am trying to say son is that we know that none of this is your fault, but we have to think what is best for everyone right now, since we are several people sharing such small quarters together"

"A-a-r-re y-y-y-you g-g-g-going t-t-to m-m-m-make m-m-me w-w-wear d-d-dia-p-p-pers?" I stuttered badly as I was having trouble with my emotions right at that moment.

"Son, please calm down and breath, we don't want to have to take you to see the doctor, so please calm down." My mom said while stroking my head with her hand.

My dad began again. "Yes we would like you to wear a diaper at night. We were really hoping the accident you had the night before last was just a onetime thing, but after this morning's wetting we realized that it would be better to have you wear a diaper for the time being. It will of course be only at night and only we, including your sister, Tim, and his father would have to know."

"B-b-but"

Noticing I was about to become a stuttering fool again I took a couple deep breaths and let them out slowly and when I thought I could speak again I tried once more to say what was on my mind.

"But I don't want to wear diapers. Only babies wear diapers and I am not a baby! I WON'T LET YOU MAKE "ME'!" I said, with the last part almost spat out in defiance.

The next thing I knew, Mom had whopped me right on the head where just a second ago she had been tenderly caressing it.

"Now that is no way to speak to me and your father!" said my mom who was definitely showing signs of anger.

"I am sorry, but can we please just give it another night?" I pleaded.

"I am sorry son but it wouldn't be fair to the lady who cleans our cabin, or to Tim." my dad said, almost like he added Tim as an afterthought.

I thought about telling them that Tim wouldn't mind but I thought better of it, as it would only get Tim in to trouble.

"So you are going to make me wear diapers tonight? Does that mean I am going to be wearing one of the Green children's diapers?" I asked.

"No honey I took a look at them yesterday and even though you are small for your age I didn't really think they would fit you good enough."

So my mom had actually gone to the Green's cabin to look at their diapers even after agreeing she wouldn't make me have to wear them. All I knew right at that moment was that I wished I could have shriveled up and died.

Mom realizing with her Mom powers what I must have been thinking said. "Please honey don't be upset, I just wanted to check them out in case you did have another accident." Mom explained. "I just wanted to find out if they would fit or not. Now the cloth diapers would have definitely fit you, but since you pee more than her children you would need more padding between your legs and Mrs. Green just didn't have enough to spare. I really didn't think that they would adequately protect you and the bed, let alone Tim. I also found out that the rubber pants would therefore be too small as well."

I just looked down at my shoes while listening to my mom talk about diapers. I guess you can say I did the normal kid thing when being talked to by your parents about a subject you rather not ever be brought up. I did hear a few words here and there so I was able to get the gist of it all.

What it boiled down to was that they love me. That they knew I was not doing it on purpose, but that I did have to consider other people's feelings about my bed wetting. Even though I didn't want to wear diapers at night, that it didn't change the fact that I needed to wear them. Finally I was told that I had no choice in the matter and that I would wear them if I wanted to or not, otherwise I would be wearing a very bright red ass after the beating I would get for throwing a fit plus still made to wear the diaper!

When I thought they were finally done I mumbled "Okay I will" to them and started to move off the bed.

Before I could fully get up my dad brought me back down with him and mom and they both took turns to hug and kiss me. They also said something that really confused me because I felt the opposite of what they said. They said that I was maturing and showing sign of being older by taking responsibility of my accidents. They also explained that wearing a diaper not only so that I and Tim could sleep better but also so that the maid would not have to clean up my mess anymore, showed signs of maturity.

After just sitting there in my thoughts for a few moments I realized they might be done finally, so I asked if I could go now and find Tim and Jacob.

"Well Tim should be right outside with his father by now as I believe we timed it about right." mom said.

"Oh by the way please be back here by 11am as we (mom pointed to me and then her) are going into Queenstown so that we can try and locate either some pre-made cloth diapers or at least the material for them and some rubber pants."

I just looked at the floor and decided it was better to not be argumentative. So even though I really, really didn't want to wear them, I thought it better to agree and say, "yes Ma'am."

Sure enough after I opened the door there was Tim and Uncle Josh coming down the corridor just as Mom had predicted.

I ran to Tim and asked, "Uncle Josh is it alright if we can go off to find Jacob now?" to which his dad nodded his consent.

After we were finally away from other people I started to tell Tim what my parents wanted to talk to me about. He surprised me though when he told me that he already knew.

It turned out that while my parents were talking to me about how they wanted to deal with my bedwetting, Tim's father was also talking to him about my wetting as well. I guess they were just trying to get him prepared for it so that he wouldn't say anything that might upset me.

Knowing that I wasn't really wanting to discuss it right then and there Tim changed the subject.

"Let's go and get Jacob, the last one there has to be the others slave for the rest of the trip." Tim shouted after he took off like a speeding bullet down the hall squealing in laughter at my sudden confusion.

It didn't take me very long to process what Tim said, so I shot off after him while screaming, "Hey no fair!" I am sure the people we kept running into were not really expecting to be knocked over by two energetic kids. We did get several shouts from passengers and Titanic crew alike, but we only slowed down long enough to be out of site and then off we went again.

We never made it to Jacob's hideout because as we were going down the stair case to meet him he was coming up. Matter of fact we almost plowed him over on our way down, but luckily we noticed who it was and stopped before we hit him.

"(Gasp)... (gasp)... (gasp) Hi, Jacob we were just on our way down to find you." Tim said while gasping for breath.

"Well it must be we were thinking alike as I was on my way to find you guys."

I who was still trying to catch my breath just nodded my head in agreement. "Must... catch... breath... then... kill... Tim... for... cheat..." I said each word between breaths.

After Tim and I got our breath back we decided to go back down to Jacob's hideout where we could talk more privately. Of course at first Jacob was curious as to why we were not going to explore more of the ship that day like we had planned.

"Well we can talk about that once we get back to your place." Tim answered.

Once there Jacob said. "Okay cough it up, what is going on?"

"I am sorry. It is my mom, she wants me to go into Queenstown with her after the ship gets there. We have about 2 hours though to do whatever." I told Jacob.

"Why does she need you to go into Queenstown? Is your whole family going?" Jacob asked.

"No she wants to take me so that she can..." at this moment I paused as I just couldn't stand to tell anyone especially Jacob who even now I was finding to be beautiful looking.

"She wants to try and find some cloth diapers and rubber pants that will fit him there." Tim finished for me.

I of course shot Tim a dirty look and had daggers in my eyes, as I was trying to tell him mentally that I was going to kill him. Of course though, Jacob already knew about me anyway, and besides he himself was a bed wetter and had occasional daytime accidents as well. Matter of fact as I was looking down towards his crotch I noticed that he had wet his pants at some point that morning.

Jacob who must have realized that I was looking at his wet crotch all of a sudden got flushed and swore he didn't even know that he wet himself.

After a bit we all seemed to calm down and were able to talk about it without embarrassing ourselves too much. I though, was still upset about my parents trying to force me to wear diapers to bed. I didn't like thinking that here I was a grown boy that still wore baby diapers.

I am not sure exactly when in our conversation that Tim and Jacob started to gang up on me, but all of a sudden they were both telling me that diapers are not so bad. They explained that several older people wore diapers and they weren't babies.

"Yeah a lot of older kids and even adults wear diapers day and night, besides are you trying to call me a baby?" Jacob asked.

"Well no, I mean you don't wear diapers, I will have to wear them so there is the difference." I stated.

"But I have worn diapers and I really still need them, even more than you do. I much rather be wearing a wet messy diaper then have to have all my filth get over all of my body and clothes. I mean with a diaper at least everything is contained in one area." Jacob added.

"I myself would do anything to be able to wear diapers." Tim said putting in his two cents worth.

"Well I tell you what you guys can wear them, because I don't want to! If I could Tim, I would gladly give you my bedwetting problem for your capability to stay dry at night, that way you can wear my diapers and I can stay dry!" I practically yelled at them.

I started to cry again but instead of making fun of me Tim and Jacob just did their best to calm me. After several attempts at calming down I finally found myself feeling better and resigned to the fact that I may have to wear diapers for a while again. Another thing that helped calm me down was that Jacob was hugging me and rubbing my back. This made me feel like I was in `Heaven'.

I once again thought of the dream where I was looking into Jacob's eyes and kissing him with all my strength. Without even realizing I was actually doing it, I planted my lips onto Jacob's lips and started to kiss him forcibly.

Barely realizing what I was doing, I was even more shocked when Jacob started returning the kiss. I would later learn that night according to Tim, it was the most passionate kiss he had ever seen!

As we were kissing I felt Jacob slip his tongue into my mouth and probe it like it was trying to find something sweet in there. It eventually found my tongue where it seemed to be trying to wrestle with it.

I also noticed that his hands were probing every inch of my body.

Oh I loved this so much and probably would still be in the middle of that kiss if it hadn't been for Tim, whom hadn't said anything at first due to the shock of what we were doing. When he finally got his voice back he was asking, "what the hell you two doing? Why are you two kissing like that? Boys are not supposed to kiss each other like that!"

With all the passion of the moment gone due to Tim's outburst we ended our kiss and parted.

"I-I-I am s-s-sorry I-I-I d-d-don't kn-kn-kn-ow what happened." I stammered.

Jacob just shushed me and said, "I had a feeling that you were gay or at least Bi. I can usually tell these things."

I was curious as to what Jacob was talking about I had no idea what `Gay' or `Bi' was so I asked him.

"Well if you like a person who is the same sex as you, for instance you are a boy so therefore if you like another boy then you may be either Gay or Bi, oh Bi mean Bisexual. The difference is if you are Gay then you only like other boys, but if you are Bi then you like both boys and girls. Do you understand now? Oh by the way I am Gay as I only like other boys and I think you are cute." Jacob explained to me.

I was starting to understand what he was saying but truthfully I really didn't know if I was Gay or Bi.

"So what if you are not either?" I asked Jacob.

"Well if you are not Gay or Bi then you must be Heterosexual which means you only like the opposite sex and for you that would be girls. Now there is of course another group who say they don't like either sex and they are commonly referred to as Asexual which means that they are sexual only with themselves." Jacob explained.

This was a lot of information I was all of a sudden taking in but something that Jacob said a few minutes ago popped into my head and that was, "I had a feeling that you were gay or at least Bi, I can usually tell these things."

"Ah just curious but why did you think I was Gay or Bi?" I asked Jacob.

"Oh it is just in the way you do things, I guess, I am not really sure but I have yet to be wrong. Even if I am wrong with you I do say that there is some definite Bi curious traits in you!"

"Oh" I answered. "Well I am not sure exactly where I fall into those categories, I only just know one thing, every time I look into your bright blue eyes I feel like I am going to drown in them. All I want to do is kiss you and make you feel as good as you make me." I explained to Jacob. I was going to also say how I loved it when he ran his hands all over my body like he was doing, but before I was able to do so, Tim blurted out sounding a little annoyed "Okay! Now can we start being normal again around here, geez what are you, two girls?"

"So we are not normal, is that what you are saying, Mr. I want to wear diapers so I can piss and shit myself FOR FUN!!!!" I yelled and glared at Tim.

That outburst of mine was what it took to shut Tim up. His mouth dropped open and for a minute there I actually thought he might try to say something else, but instead he turned around and walked away very upset.

"Maybe you should go after him? He is after all going to be the son of your dad's employer, and you don't really want to have bad blood started between you." Jacob warned me.

"Okay, I really didn't mean to sound so hateful but I also don't like to be made fun of." I tried to explain to Jacob.

Jacob once again held me and gave me another passionate kiss before telling me he would expect me as soon as I got back from Queenstown as there was a lot that we needed to talk about. He then surprised me again when he slipped his hand into my pants and grabbed my boy tool and marbles, which he then gently squeezed them. Again I felt like I was in Heaven and if it hadn't been for the fight between Tim and me, I would have stayed there with Jacob, and explore his body like he was doing with mine. So with a goodbye kiss, I told him that I would see him if possible. I then left and went looking for Tim.

<><><><><><><><><><> 

Chapter 10: Queenstown

I decided that Tim must have gone back up to cabin so I headed that way hoping to see him before he got there. When I got to the observation deck I noticed that we were getting closer to what I could only assume was Queenstown Ireland. I sighed as I knew what I had to do next. Off to the cabin I went now realizing I was probably not going to have time to talk to Tim before Mom and I had to leave. I was actually thinking about seeing if Tim could come with us that way I could feel I had someone on my side, but at the same time I really didn't want anyone seeing mom by me diapers. It was like I was having a fighting match between the two ideas and neither one of them seemed to be able to win. This just left me more confused and angry.

When I finally reached the cabin only Mom was inside doing her last minute touch up on her makeup and making sure her hair was okay.

"I was starting to wonder if you were going to come back or if I was going to have to send out a search party." Mom said in what I thought was her attempt at joking.

"Tim by chance didn't come through here, did he Mom?" I asked her.

"I am sorry but I haven't seen Tim since breakfast. I assumed he was with you and your new friend Jacob."

"Oh well I was just thinking about asking him if he would like to come with us is all." I quickly added, "we got into a little argument so I guess he is mad at me right now and doesn't want anything to do with me anyways.

"Well boys will always fight, that is why I say it is time for the men of this world to step aside and let us women run things! Trust me if the women were running this world there would be no need of wars or any other ugly business, the men of this world have gotten us all in!" Mom announced as she was putting all her stuff away and getting up.

I have heard mom and dad have this discussion many times before and she never tires of telling Dad her thoughts on why women should be in charge. Dad of course was a staunch believer that a woman's place is in the home, taking care of the children and the house.

"Okay honey let's go." mom said as we left the cabin and started to head to the deportation area. On the way there as if she was afraid that I would take off, she firmly held my hand.

Since Titanic was so large none of Queenstown's Berths were big enough to let her dock, so Titanic like in France had to anchor in the deeper water and use Tenders to take people back in forth between Queenstown and Titanic. Now don't ask me why they are called tenders because I have no clue why.

We were one of the lucky people who were able to take the first Tender to shore we were also reminded that the last tender back to Titanic would leave by 1:10pm as Titanic would leave promptly at 1:30pm. Mom acknowledge the person and after that nothing else seemed to be said to me or my mom, Everyone seemed to have their mind on what they were doing in Queenstown, I on the other hand couldn't help thinking about Tim and my soon to be acquired diapers that I already despised!

Queenstown appeared to be a good size town with lots of shops all over the place but I was kind of curious as to where someone would go to find diapers for a kid my size as I have never seen shops that carried diapers for bigger kids.

I was about to ask mom about this when she took my hand again and started to head towards a line of shops. The first place she took me inside was a general store called O'Neil's General Store and tea shop. Must be the guy who owned the general store was not as good as Dad when it came time to say no!

The inside of the general store was impressive. I never have seen a general store with so much stock on hand. I guess as a kid my eyes quickly noticed things like the Bicycles, the large barrels of candy, games, and toys galore. It was definitely a child's dream come true.

Unfortunately mom still had my hand so I wasn't able to go and look at all the things I wanted too.

Almost as if she could sense it she bent down and whispered to me "don't touch anything I don't have a lot of money and we are going to need what I have for your diapers."

If we hadn't been in a shop full of people I would have probably have told her that it was fine with me, that I didn't want them anyway. Well on second thought maybe I wouldn't have told her that as I knew my mom well and she didn't care how old I was. She had no problem pulling down my pants along with my undershorts and blistering my naked butt right there in front of everyone. That is if and when I got out of line. Oh believe me when I say this as she did it not more than a month ago in the local general store in our small town. I had been begging her to buy me some new toy I saw and I guess I went too far, because all of a sudden she had pulled my pants down exposing me to everyone in the store. She then spanked my bottom till it was a bright shiny red. Some of the other kids in there laughed, but a couple of them were warned by their parents that if they didn't stop they too would be facing a very public spanking. Of course that was a month ago but I was sure she would do it again if she had too.

While waiting our turn in line I just kept on looking around the store with the wide eyes a kid would normally have at seeing all his presents on Christmas day.

When it was our turn in line I tried to act like I was not there at all when mom asked "Do you have any pre-made cloth diapers and rubber pants that might fit my son here?"

Again, I just acted like I was invisible as I really was embarrassed by the whole question.

The shop keeper took a good look at me and then yelled, oh my god I couldn't believe it! "HEY MARTHA DO WE HAVE ANY DIAPERS BACK IN THE STOCK ROOM THAT WILL FIT OLDER KIDS?!"

At that moment I was trying to squirm out of mom's hand, to be honest I didn't care anymore if she did punish me. I just wanted to be out of there. Everyone in the store was all of a sudden looking at me like I was some freak.

The next thing that happened made things even worse, actually it was two things. The first thing was the woman named Martha came out from in back wherever she was and loudly said, "Charley this is the largest size we have!" she was carrying what appeared to be a large baby diaper and rubber pants. The second thing was that my mom just reached down and smacked the hand of mine that she was holding and told me if I didn't start acting right that... (Like I already thought.) ...she would strip me bare butt right here in this store and make my ass look fire engine red!

Martha then put the cloth diaper on the counter along with the rubber pants and allowed mom to check them over, of course Martha started to stare at me like she knew that the diaper was meant for me.

"Is this the largest you have?" my mom asked.

"I am sorry mam but it is, I guess they are not big enough to fit your little boy there." Martha replied.

"What about material so that I can make my own." my mom asked Martha.

"Well we do have some cloth for a couple cloth diapers but nothing for rubber pants I am afraid, it would all have to be ordered."

"Oh well I guess we will have to check out some more shops I wish we had the time but were passengers on the Titanic you see." Mom sighed.

"Well you could always try Mary O'Leary's Sewing Closet. It is down the street she may have the material you need if not even the diapers herself." Martha said trying to help.

"Thank you" my mom said to Martha and Charley, who I could only assume were Mr. and Mrs. O'Neil. I guess Martha was the one who ran the tea shop though it looked close for the moment.

Before we left the store, without thinking I leered. "GOOD, now can we go back to Titanic!" I also added a few choice curse words under my breath, quietly enough that I thought my mom hadn't heard me. Boy was I wrong!

Once outside Mom about yanked my arm off and with only one hand reached behind my back and yanked my britches down to my ankles. This gave everyone walking around that area, a clear look at my boy tool and soon to be red butt! She then proceeded to smack my backside right there on the boardwalk in front of the store. I still don't remember how many times she smacked my bottom I just remembered it hurt like hell and I was sure I was the center of attention at that moment. What I do remember was howling and blubbering from the pain. I had got so worked up that I was even hiccupping and snot was running out of my nose. All while I was still getting spanked.

After Mom decided that I had enough she let go of my hand and told me to pull my britches back up. Tears were streaming down my face mixing in with my snot, and my backside was burning with pain. After I got my pants back up Mom grabbed my hand again and told me that I better not embarrass her again or I would regret it.

"Josh I swear... don't test me right now. I want you stop acting like a brat and do what you are told!" Mom commanded. "You are to be good, only speak when spoken too, not touch anything unless I tell you, you can, and finally to hold my hand until we are back on the ship; otherwise I will give you more of what you just had."

Before we could start off again, Mom noticed that my snot had made it past my lips and was starting to drip from my chin. I guess she must have dug out a scarf because she was using it to clean the snot from my face.

"Josh please blow." Mom demanded as she held the cloth in front of my nose waiting for me to blow it. Obeying her I blew my nose the best I could and once she was satisfied she returned the scarf to her purse.

By the time we got moving again and my sobs were starting to subside I realized for the first time that there didn't seem to be a soul who had watched me get my ass blistered. I guess it must be common for young boys in Queenstown to have their ass bared in front of strangers and spanked. For the rest of the time in Queenstown I decided to do exactly what I was told, but of course that was not going to be the case.

Even if I hadn't messed up later, I was sure my Dad would be told how I acted. I would have then been whipped also by Dad with his belt.

The next stop of course was Mary O'Leary's Sewing Closet. Like at the general store Mom looked through several bins but in the end Mrs. O'Leary didn't have any material for what mom needed, as for diapers it had been a while since she had anyone ask for larger size diapers so she no longer kept them in stock she explained. She told my mom she could have the material here by next week and if she wanted she would be able to make them for her. I was more than happy to get out of there after mom had told her no, that we needed them now as we were passengers from Titanic.

Unfortunately the store keeper had no idea where to go from there, but I guess mom had got some names of places to try out from Mrs. Green, as mom seemed to know exactly where to go next.

Still holding my hand firmly like I was 6 years old, we walked further into town until we came to a small shop called "Mabel's Sewing Emporium".

Inside it was a little gloomy and completely deserted unlike a lot of other shops we had seen. We could not see anyone in the shop including shop keeper.

I could tell that Mom was about to raise her voice to try and get someone's attention but before she could, an elderly man came from the back of the store where we couldn't see as easily. He asked us what he could do for us. He told us he would be willing to deal on anything in the store considering they were going out of business soon.

Mom went ahead and told him that we were looking for diapers that would fit me along with rubber pants and she was told by a friend of hers that in the past she had seen them here.

Guess by now I was use to the stares that people gave me when Mom asked for diapers and rubber pants that would fit me. Or maybe I was still smarting from the beating I got not too long ago and the pain from the tight grip Mom had on my hand.

Mom was disappointed and I was a little bit happier as once again we struck out as the man told her "I am sorry but Mabel died 2 years ago and since then this place hasn't been the same. Afraid we sold all the diapers we had shortly after that."

Mom thanked the gentleman and we were about to leave when I saw something. What I saw made my eyes go wide as if it was there and meant for me. I begged Mom to let me look at it and amazingly she walked me over to the pipe for a better look. It was a beautiful hand engraved pipe and I couldn't help asking how much the old man wanted for it.

"Well sonny I think I could give you a great deal on that pipe. A low enough price for a boy such as yourself can afford." True to his word, he sold me the pipe for a single Farthing, which was ¼ of a British Penny. At first I didn't think he would sell it to me that cheap when I showed him it was all I had. "Sonny you have just the right amount, this pipe here sells for one Farthing!"

"Mom, can I buy it please?!" I begged Mom.

Mom hesitated for a second and sighed. Instead of saying anything, Mom then led me back to the counter where I made the purchase. After I was handed the pipe and once again we said thank you to the old man, we walked out the shop door.

While walking to our next destination I couldn't help but think about the pipe and the fact that Mom had actually allowed me to purchase it. I don't know why, but for some reason I felt drawn to it. I figured it would make a nice birthday gift for my dad who will be 36 years old in another month's time. The engraving on the pipe had to be coincidence but it was of a large ship not too much unlike Titanic herself. I mean, I knew it wasn't Titanic, but every time I looked at it I couldn't believe how much it did look like Titanic.

As we were walking to our next stop mom said the first thing to me since she whipped my butt for all to see.

"I hope you don't plan on using that." She said though I heard a little bit of amusement in her voice.

"I don't know why Mom, but when I saw it, I had to buy it." I tried to explain to Mom. "I really thought it was pretty and I figured it would make a good birthday gift for dad." I continued just happy that she was talking to me again and no longer seemed to be angry.

It turned out that Mrs. Green had given mom a large list of possible shops that might sell youth size cloth diapers or at least have the material needed to make them for me. One by one we visited the stores that Mrs. Green suggested and one by one my mom was disappointed and I was not. I do have to say that my feet were really starting to hurt and I noticed the feeling of not only needing to pee but also the strong urge to poop as well. Instead of telling Mom, I decided I would try to hold it. I mean here I was being dragged all over Queenstown needing to desperately use the bathroom while Mom was looking for diapers. For some reason I was too embarrassed to ask Mom. I know that it doesn't make since, but I didn't put a lot of thought in it.

When we got to the final location that Mrs. Green suggested to look at, it was a small store way on the other side of town. The store name was Johnson's Clothing and Fabric Store. For as small as it appeared outside, the inside of the store looked much... much... larger. Like many of the other stores it seemed completely empty.

Mom noticed a little bell on top of the counter and rang it a couple times. A few minutes later a small man about my size, came out of a backroom entrance way that I would have sworn wasn't there a few minutes ago.

I luckily was able to stop the giggle that was about to escape my lips when I saw the man. Mom probably would have killed me if I had burst out laughing right at that moment. Even so, like always, she seemed to sense what I was thinking and gave me a look that I interpreted to mean, "If you start laughing or giggling at that poor man I will strip you bare and beat you black and blue!" of course it could have also meant, just to not say anything at all. Who knows?

"Hello, hello, what can I do for you Mrs.?" the little man asked.

"Hi, I am looking for some pre-made cloth diapers and rubber pants that might fit my son here." my mom started to say.

"I see, I see" said the little man like he was deep in thought.

"Of course if you don't have any I would also be interested in the material to make them myself. Unfortunately we haven't had much luck in finding anything and we don't have the time to wait for an order to be shipped as we are passengers on the Titanic." My mom told the little man.

"I see, I see" said the little man again.

I couldn't help but smile at that moment after he repeated himself. It almost seemed like he was waiting to see if my mom had more to say.

Finally he said, "well, well, I am sorry to say that I don't have anything in your son's size. Business for children's diapers has gotten pretty slow since the new drug store opened up several months ago. It seems that they can get them cheaper then what the locals charge to make them. Anyway most people now go there, though I am not sure if they will have them in your son's size or not, but at least it is worth a try.

I think the little man noticed my smile playing on my lips and he winked at me like he knew I was laughing at him on the inside. He walked over to me and studied me from head to toe and back up again as though he were trying to decide what sort of creature I may be. "Tsk-tsk" The little man muttered under his breath as he got a close look at me. "Boy child don't you ever wash behind your years? It looks like you have a garden growing there." the little man said. With that he reached up to my right ear and I thought for a moment he might tug on it. Instead I felt his fingers brush against it and then a twinge of pain like he'd pulled out a hair. He then withdrew his hand and I reached up and rubbed my ear.

"Hey!" I complained.

Stunned I looked from the man, to the lollipop, to my mother, and back to the lollipop.

Moments before I swear he didn't have anything in his hand! So it surprised me when he brought it back out and he had a lollypop clutched in his fingers which I knew wasn't there before.

I was astounded by the magic trick I witnessed. The little man noticing the wonder in my eyes said, "Lollipops growing behind ears? I have seen everything now! Boy child, were you saving that for later? Maybe you should eat it now instead." he said with a smile and a wink.

Still stunned I stood there with my mouth hanging open as I again looked to my mother to see if it was okay. With a knowing smile she nodded down and said to me, "What do you say to the gentleman?"

My excitement and utter wonder filled my voice as I exclaimed, "Oh thank you sir, that was real neat!"

Then as exuberantly as any child would be and still fingering my own ear, I couldn't help asking him, "Is there more back there sir?"

I had been completely serious with my question. However, the little man gave me a smile and I was shocked when he burst out laughing. His laugh was louder than I could ever expect it to be from someone as small as he. "Boy, I think I saw more growing back there but they are not ripe yet." The little man continued to laugh through his words to me.

"Cool, I will never wash my ears again!" Not ever seeing a magic trick before, I really truly believed him.

"Oh yes you will, even if I have to wash them myself!" Mom announced.

"But Mom, I have other ones growing back there!" I exclaimed.

She then started to laugh along with the little man, but for the life of me I had no idea why.

I guess the little man hadn't expected me to believe him so much. But hey I was a kid who still believed in Santa clause, the Easter Bunny, and the Boogey-Man who lives under my bed.

"Oh don't worry boy, it is good to wash them every once in a while that way new ones will grow better, but it takes years for them to ripen!" He said and again he laughed at my unending look of amazement.

After hearing that, I wanted go wash them right away.

"Mom can you wash them as you do a better job!" I begged.

My mom had a huge smile and agreed to help me wash them once we got back to the ship.

Before we left, the little man then gave me a serious look and squinted his eyes at me. "Do you know boy, that if you eat all your fruits and vegetables that the lollipops will grow even faster?" I shook my head no. "Also they are much sweeter tasting as well."

My eyes showed my amazement still and I started thinking of all the times when I refused to eat my vegetables which like any kid I hated. I did like fruit though. "Sir, would they still grow faster and better tasting if I only eat fruit? I really don't like vegetables!" I now had a yucky expression on my face.

"Sorry boy, you have to do both or you might make them rot." The little man laughed once more, still with that louder than could be possible, laugh of his.

"Okay sir but will it be okay if I don't eat Brussels-Sprouts? I promise, I will eat all my other vegetables but not Brussels-Sprouts." Once again I gave my yucky face.

At that, the little man gave me a smile, "I think that not eating Brussels-Sprouts as long as you eat all of your other vegetables will be okay." The little man answered.

Wondering if Mom agreed I looked up to her. When she nodded her head yes I was ecstatic and knew that I would do anything to keep my promise. She then addressed the little man, "So how do I get to this new drug store?"

The little man told mom the name of the drug store was O'Hara's Drug and Float Store, and that it was down the block on the left side. He said it was a large store and that we couldn't miss it.

Just as we were leaving his store the little man, almost as an afterthought said, "there may be another place as well. I know of a woman who worked out of her home doing odd jobs and things. I also know she use to be a damn good seamstress. Recently I heard of a family who might have made a purchase for diapers for their older child. Actually I think you should try her out first because I am pretty sure the drug store doesn't sell them in your son's size.

Instead of telling Mom how to get there, he decided to give her a map to where the woman's house was located, as he didn't want us getting lost.

I think mom was finally perking up as we followed the instructions on the map. We ended up making several turns here and there until we found the small house that we were told that the seamstress lived and worked out of.

Mom knocked on the door and after a few moments it was opened by a kind looking elderly lady. She asked if she could help us and mom told her what the little man had told us.

"That is so kind of Tom to think of me. I do indeed do things like what he suggested but usually I do them on order."

Mom almost looked like she was beat about then. I guess she was really hoping that this would be the lucky place, but like all the rest it seemed to just be another dead end.

The woman noticing my mom's discouragement said, "deary don't be upset, I said I usually do that, but for some reason a family that had asked me to make some diapers for their child has yet to come and get them. I know them pretty well and I am sure they would have no problem waiting another couple days to help you out. Matter of fact I got them done earlier than I expected, almost if I knew someone else would be here needing them. Why don't we find out if they will fit your boy or not, we can try them on him over there." The kind looking old lady said while pointing to a sturdy wooden work table.

All this time I had been ignoring what was being said around me. I was putting all of my concentration in trying to hold my pee and poop. At first I thought I was winning the battle, but all of a sudden, a strong urge came over me, as I felt a large amount of pee squirt inside my underpants. Instantly I reached down with my free hand and grabbed my pecker through my pants. In order to stop the pee from coming out of me, I clamped down as hard as I could, on my traitorous boy tool. I knew I wouldn't be able to stop it for long but at least for the time being it made my leaky valve stop. Now with the need to pee so badly, I started to do the famous peepee dance.

"Josh, be still!" Mom demanded. When she slapped my hand like she had done earlier, she brought my attention of what was going on around me, back.

Well the kind lady also noticed me jumping around but unlike Mom she noticed what my problem was and right away said, "Mam it looks like your son is desperate to pee. The outhouse is in back."

Without even asking if it was okay I managed to take Mom by surprise and managed to escape her grip on my hand. I was off so fast that Mom wasn't able to stop me. I just shot off towards the outhouse without even thinking of the consequences. I made it just in the nick of time. I had to pee so bad and felt so much better once relieved of my angry bladder, that I had totally forgotten about my bowels which weren't even bothering me at that moment.

As I was coming inside the store I was sure, like everywhere else the diapers wouldn't fit me. I hadn't been listening completely to Mom's conversation due to the need to pee. So here I was thinking that I was going to win this day after all.

I learned differently as soon as I entered the store. That's when the tables were turned on me and not only did it look like mom was going to get me the diapers! But I was now told that they were going to try them on me. I was flabbergasted!

Without even warning me, Mom hoisted me up and dumped me on the work table as if I were a sack of potatoes. Once on the table she instructed me forcibly to lie down.

Knowing what was now going to happen, I no longer cared how much trouble I was going to get in. I tried my best to get off that table until Mom turned me over and striped me of my pants and undershorts which she noticed I had peed in them, even more than I originally thought. And for the 2nd time that day, Mom again spanked my already, very sore, butt.

"Now are you going to behave yourself? Mom asked me while still landing smacks on my bare ass. "...or do I have to continue this until you can behave?" she continued to ask me while landing the hardest swat that day on my tender backside.

"Mommy please... (swat) I will... (swat) I will behave!" (swat) I said between smacks. With my promise she swatted me one more time and I swear it hurt even more then everyone before, including that really hard smack she gave me only minutes before.

When Mom was done she made me lay there naked from the waist down.

I was bawling loudly while we waited for the lady to come back from where ever she went. I could only presume she went to go get the diapers she was talking about.

I couldn't believe it, I was going to be put into a diaper right here in front of some woman I only just met. Shoot I haven't worn a diaper since I was like 8 years old when Mom finally stopped making me wear one to bed. I mean she dealt with my wetting the bed from then to now, why oh why did she have to revert back to the diaper idea?!

All too Soon, the lady came back, and in her arms were a couple stacks of large thick cloth diapers and she also had a few pairs of rubber pants and worst of all, they actually looked large enough for me to wear.

"I am sure they will all fit but these diapers were actually made for a 14 year old who is definitely larger than your son so I hope the rubber pants fit." the woman explained.

"I think these will do just fine, you don't mind if we make sure?" my mom asked.

"Oh no problem that is why I suggested it anyway" she said to my mom.

The next thing I know Mom grabs one of my ankles and lifts my butt up off the table, she then slid one of the pre-folded cloth diapers under my butt. Once Mom laid my butt back down on top of the diaper she seemed to be thinking.

"I am sorry, but I was wondering if you have any powder and lotion you could sell me. Oh my... I almost forgot but do you have diaper pins?"

The lady smiled and went behind the counter bringing out a canister of Talcum powder, lotion, and several diaper pins. "I will give you these free if you decided to buy the diapers."

"Hmm, how many diapers are here?" Mom asked as she started to count them herself.

"There are 14 cloth diapers, depending how heavy a wetter your son is, you may want to double or even triple the diapers." The lady answered.

I was humiliated as Mom rubbed lotion into my butt and boy tool, all of this in front of a stranger. What even added to the embarrassment was all of a sudden my small penis seemed to wake up and come to a full salute. Soon I had a face that I was sure matched what my butt still looked like.

And just like she could tell what I was thinking the lady pointed out my red butt.

"Looks like he may be developing some redness, might be a rash." she said.

My mom just continued getting the diapers ready to pin on me while she told the lady that it was okay that she had something already for me. She went on to tell the lady that the redness was due to a discipline problem we had earlier but everything is okay now.

"Oh... okay" said the lady.

Before pinning the diapers on me, Mom forced my hard little penis, what I use to call my boy tool, down between my legs and tightly pinned on the diaper. This effectively forced my hard penis to stay pointed between my legs.

A few minutes later mom was pulling up the rubber pants and tucking in the diaper real good. She made certain that the rubber pants were tight around the legs and waist. I guess she was happy with them because she asked the lady how much.

As they negotiated a price, all I was hoping was that they would get it over quickly so that I could get this humiliation called diaper off me, and get back to the ship where I might be able to hide and pray that this day was all a dream.

A price was agreed on and I was about to take off the diaper when mom looked at the lady's clock that just struck the hour and saw the time.

It was 1:00pm, we needed to get back to the dock in 10 minutes if we were going to make the last Tender in time. The lady put the rest of the diapers along with my pants and underwear into a bag while mom put my left shoe on while I put the right one on.

The next thing, we were running to the dock and all I kept thinking was please let's just miss the Tender as I just couldn't bear getting on the ship wearing a big diaper for all to see.

I guess mom forgot about the map that was made for her in her haste. I think she thought she knew where we were heading. All of a sudden we found ourselves in a dark unfamiliar alley way. For some reason the sun was not penetrating the Alleyway.

Before we could turn around though and see where we made our mistake; we heard someone say very calmly, "turn around and give me your purse!"

When we turned around we saw a teenage boy with a large sharp knife, which he had held near my mom's throat. My mom gave him her purse but other than a few coins she had left there was no money in it.

The thief wasn't too happy when he couldn't find anything worthwhile in her purse so he asked her to hand over the bag that contained my diapers and pants. Again he was upset to find nothing of value. He started to ask for my mom's jewelry, when out of nowhere a boy jumps from a stack of crates onto the older boy's back. The would be teen criminal, fell to the ground and to my surprise it was Jacob who saved us. He quickly grabbed the knife the teen had and the bag that contained my diapers and Mom's purse and said "let's go!"

All three of us started running. We must have been some sight running too. In the lead was Jacob who looked almost like a street urchin running with a bag and knife in his hands and a woman's purse over his shoulder. Next you had me with just a shirt, a diaper, and my socks and shoes, finally you had my mom running in a long dress and high heels. I am sure that people are still talking about that scene today. If it wasn't for the fact that I was one of the runners and instead one of the onlookers I would have been laughing my head off.

Anyway Jacob did lead us to the right area and found the dock that the Tenders were using. Unfortunately we missed the last Tender by about 10 minutes.

I think mom was about to go into hysterics when Jacob noticed someone working on a boat.

"Sir, Sir, I was wondering if you could help us out of a bind?" Jacob got the attention of the gentleman and asked him.

"You see sir that Tender out there was the last one for the Titanic and our families are out there on the ship and we really need to get there." Jacob went on when he knew he had the gentleman's attention.

He took a look at our group and I think he was about to ask why I was not wearing pants when I think he really noticed my mom's tears.

"Now... Now... Mrs. I can have you out there before they fully unload that Tender. I have a motor in my boat that will get us out there quickly, so don't you fret Mrs. Okay." The gentleman kindly gave Mom a hug.

True to his word we were no sooner on his boat when we had gotten to where the Tender was unloading. Luckily the captain of the Tender recognized us and let us on the Tender where we then got on Titanic. I guess he just thought Jacob was with us as he never said anything to him as he followed us onboard Titanic. I also think if my mom had been a little less upset she might have wanted to talk to Jacob.

After we got on Titanic and after Jacob returned my mom's things, I noticed that Jacob seemed to disappear in the crowd very quickly. I was glad about one thing while we were trying to catch up to the Tender I was able to put my still slightly wet underwear and pants back on over the diaper. The pants were real tight and I could tell I was wearing a diaper because of it.

Anyway at least I had my pants back on that allowed me to be warm again as it was really not warm enough at all to be running around without pants. Of course I wanted to get the diaper off but according to my mom we were already late to meet my dad so I had to wait.

Since we did miss the lunch period we met up with my dad and had Tea at a little onboard tea shop. They served cookies and breads with the tea and I made sure to get my fill as I was pretty hungry. As the tea dragged on though, I was starting to get bored. I think my mom was just happy that she was not stuck back there in Queenstown, but if we only knew what was going to happen a few days down the road she would only wish we had been, of course along with my dad and my sister.

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Chapter 11: Open Sea and Diapers

As I was waiting for my mom and dad to get done with their Tea, I noticed Tim and Uncle Josh coming into the shop. I looked at Tim to see if he was still upset with me, but I was having trouble telling what he was thinking at that moment. All I could think was he must still be as he refused to look me in the eye.

I decided to ask my parents if I could go exploring now and see if Tim would take the bite or not.

"Yes, you can go and get out of our hair." my dad said jokingly.

I again looked at Tim, who again looked away from me. I think Uncle Josh could see that there was something wrong. As he looked at us both, he asked us if we had a fight or something. Of course neither of us wanted to admit what we were fighting about so neither of us was willing to answer the question.

"Well why don't you two go and make up and then you can go back to being friends again." Uncle Josh told us.

Tim did start to leave with me although reluctantly. After we got back out in the hallway Tim turned and looked at me and I could have sworn it looked like steam was coming out of his ears.

"You know what you said was very mean and I don't know if I want to be a friend of someone who has to be so hurtful as you were" Tim blurted.

I thought he was about to continue when all of a sudden he started to cry. He then took a page out of my book and bolted, luckily this time I was running right behind him so that he could not lose me. When we reached a part of the ship that seemed eerily desolated. He slowed down and crumpled to the deck where he was sobbing uncontrollably.

I sat down next to him and took him in my arms like so many people were doing for me lately. I held him until his sobs receded and he was finally able to listen and talk.

"I am sorry Tim I should have never said those mean things to you like that. I know it is not an excuse but I hope you can understand that I felt threatened by your words and so I lashed out at you. I guess I did it to make you feel how I was feeling." I explained to Tim.

"No, it was my fault, I made fun of you first I should have known better, I am just so sorry and I hope that you will forgive me?" Tim begged.

"Only if you will forgive me" I said in a half-jokingly manner.

We started to giggle then, I knew now that things were a little better between the two of us. We both knew that we had irresistible wants, but we each wanted something different and not what normal people would call the norm. With this we decided that it was okay for us to want something that the other had no desire as long as we accepted each other's wants.

With all of that settled now, off we went in search of Jacob. We looked all over for him but couldn't find him anywhere. When we looked at the place where he been sleeping at we found all of his stuff missing. It still stunk real bad, but even the makeshift bed had been removed. I knew I was starting to get worried that maybe he was caught trying to get back on the ship. I did notice how he disappeared as soon as we were back on Titanic, but still where did he go.

We were about to give up on finding Jacob when we heard something.

"Psst" we heard again coming from inside a storage closet.

We walked up to the door, opened it quietly, and entered inside the dark closet. We searched for a light but before we found one, someone else turned it on. There in front of us was Jacob.

"Hey guys!" Jacob smiled at us. "It is so good to see you no longer fighting!" Both Tim and I though, were dumbfounded as we had no clue what had happened. I guess Tim saw in my eyes. "Sorry I have been hiding since we got back from Queenstown. I had gone down to where I was sleeping and found that someone removed all my stuff and confiscated it. Now, I have to hide out because I know they are looking for me now as well." Jacob explained to Tim and me.

"Do they even know it is you they are looking for? I mean other than your stuff they don't even know for sure if you are a boy or a girl." I said.

It took Jacob a moment to realize that what I said was the truth and so after getting enough courage Jacob was ready, and the three of us left the closet. Once out I still could see a little fear in Jacob's eyes, "besides who is to say that we weren't just 3 boys who were goofing around and playing together.

So just trying to pass off as one of the many groups of children on board we started to keep a look out for where ever they might have taken Jacobs belongings, which is everything he has left in this world.

At the same time like yesterday afternoon we were investigating the near miss we had with that smaller ship that Titanic almost hit. We started asking people where someone might go to find something that they lost or had been stolen but later found by a crew member.

After asking a lot of people we did finally ask someone who pointed us in the right direction. We were told that there was a lost and found room on board the ship and if our stuff wasn't there then the next logical place would be the security department.

Believe me we were hoping for the best that we could just claim it from the lost and found, but as life would have it, Jacobs stuff of course was not there.

So now the question was, how do we ask security if they found Jacobs stuff without getting him caught.

It turned out Jacob was the one who came up with the plan to at least find out if the security department had his stuff.

The plan was that I was supposed to go in to the security department and see if they came across a photograph of my supposedly dead aunt. I was to tell them that I had brought it out to show Tim the photo, but now it is gone and my parents are going to kill me as it was the only photo we had of her plus the fact that the frame was pure silver would not help me.

In reality according to Jacob this was a photo of his mother that he managed to smuggle into the orphanage and had kept with him ever since. He swore that he didn't steal the frame, but that his mother's picture had always been in that frame.

Jacob told Tim and me that he could lose every one of his other meager possessions but he needed his mother's photo back as he couldn't live without it.

So into the security department Tim and I walked. We got the attention of the person behind the desk and asked about the photo. I ended up describing in great detail all about the picture that only a person who seen it and even owned it for that matter would know.

"Hmm I seem to remember coming across a photo like the one you were talking about. That's right one of the crew noticed a bad smell emanating from one of the unused closet areas down in one of the cargo bays earlier today. When they investigated they found what appeared to be some rags that were being used as bedding that had been obviously peed on several times. The worker also noticed a small burlap bag containing whoever the stowaway was, belongings. Yes now I remember it was in that bag I found a picture like the one you described. It was odd because it just looked out of place with all that other junk" The security guy surmised.

"I said great what do I need to do to get it back?" I asked.

"Well for starters how do I know you were not the stowaway?" The guard asked.

I had been ready for this question so I made certain to have all my boarding paper on me, I then handed them over to the guard who looked them over and said "Okay I guess your clean and since you described the picture so well I guess it must be yours."

He got up from his chair and walked over to a cabinet which he opened and pulled out the burlap sack. He looked at the sack then back at me and said "hey kid tell you what, I really don't want to stick my hand back in this bag. I promise the picture is in here if you want it then you can reach in and get it. I really don't care what you do with the rest, as far as I care it is nothing but garbage and can be thrown away."

I couldn't believe the luck we were having. I told the security guard thank you, picked up the bag and Tim and I promptly left. We had managed to do what we just thought a few minutes before was the impossible.

Once we were somewhere private Tim and I explained to Jacob what had happened inside the security department. Jacob was really happy we got his things back the only problem is that he now needed a new sleeping place.

We decided to start looking for a new place that would be a good hiding spot but also one that someone won't come near enough to smell Jacobs's urine or shit smelling clothing or bedding.

It took a while but we finally found a little cubby area deep in a congested area of one of the cargo holds. In order for a man to get back there they would have to move half the cargo in that bay. We felt that Jacob would be okay here.

Shortly after getting Jacob resettled with new bedding material, Tim noticed how late it was getting when he heard the dinner whistle. We quickly said our goodbyes to Jacob and said if we could we would be back tonight, otherwise we would see him tomorrow. And then we ran off to meet our parents in our cabin so we could all go to dinner.

As we were making our way to our cabin I noticed something that I had been holding off for a while and that I was having to pee something fierce. I figured I would have to stop at the washroom before going to dinner. At this point I totally forgot that I was still wearing that diaper mom had tried on me. I couldn't believe I had forgotten about it all this time when I finally did remember it, but at this point I was still oblivious to it.

Mom was not too happy that we were running so far behind when we made it to the cabin. She informed us that Dad and Uncle Josh had gone to the dining hall already and that Jane was still with the Greens so we needed to hurry out the door.

As we were leaving I told mom I needed to stop at the bathroom and pee but she wanted me to wait until we got down to the dining room where I could use the bathroom there. At this point in time I was wondering if I was going to make it.

Well I was glad when we finally got to the dining room and I along with Tim ran for the bathroom. As we pushed the door open, I could feel that my bladder was about to let go. Tim and I got up to the urinal and I started to fumble with my pants. It was after I got my zipper down when I realized that I was still wearing the diaper. Here I was, about to pee myself and now fumbling with pulling down my rubber pants, I started to work on removing the pins.

"Man why did Mom have to put so many in the diaper and why was it so hard to get them out?" I started to cry.

Now crying, I kept trying to remove the pins mom had put in to hold the diaper on, but like I said I was having difficulty getting them out. Tim tried to help but he too wasn't having any luck. I started to cry even harder as I felt the dam bursting. My bladder had lost the battle. Before another second went by I quickly remembered that my rubber pants had been pulled down, just as the cloth diaper was about to leak, I pulled back up the rubber pants to contain the wet mess.

Even though I was embarrassed to be peeing myself like I was especially in front of Tim, I also felt the great relief one has when they are able to finally pee. I continued to just stand right there until I finished peeing. Tim just stared, fascinated by what was happening.

When I was finally done peeing and no longer crying, I checked too make sure none of it leaked out of the diaper and rubber pants and was happy that all my pee was contained. I then pulled up my pants and Tim and I made our way back to our table. Once again I had forgotten my earlier Bowel needs. I mean I didn't feel not one bit of discomfort coming from back there.

As we got closer to our table, I was scared what was going to happen when mom found out I peed in the diaper instead of the toilet. I figured I would get my butt blistered for that one, but I also knew I couldn't keep it from them as I just felt miserable and they would eventually find out, I mean how could I hide the wet diaper from Mom? When we got back to the table I went over to Mom and whispered in her ear.

"Mom I am sorry but when I got to the bathroom I realized I was still wearing the diaper you put on me earlier today. I tried to get the pins out and so did Tim but before we could, I lost control and peed myself." as I finished whispering in her ear I ended up once again starting to cry from the shame.

People at our table all of a sudden seemed interested in what was going on but mom just held me and told everyone that I had a rough day today. She calmed me down and told me that everything was fine. She told me after dinner she would help me take care of it, for now she just wanted me to calm down and eat because I hadn't had a proper meal since breakfast this morning.

After our food came to the table, I did start to feel better. I got use to the wet wadded up cloth between my legs and soon forgot about it.

I was happy for the Green's as it looked like Mr. Green was doing better as he had joined his family for dinner tonight. He did look a little sick still but he must be doing better for him to be eating with us tonight.

I learned what my sister had been doing all day and Mom and I told everyone about almost being mugged and then missing the last Tender. I guess that was when my mom realized she never got around to thanking Jacob.

I noticed that she was now scanning the dining room for what I could only assume was Jacob.

"Honey, where is yours and Timmy's friend Jacob at? Shouldn't he be in here eating with his family?" Mom asked.

I noticed Tim scowl once again at my mom as she used his more babyish form of his name.

I don't know why I said it, it must have been a spark of creativity that made it so believable.

"I am sorry mom you see he is not a second class passenger like us. His family and him are steerage passengers" I told mom in which she replied "that explains it."

Dinner was great tonight, I guess mainly because I was starved. I had Spaghetti and Meatballs for my entree and for desert I had chocolate cake with fudge icing.

After dinner the three men decided to go to the men's lounge, where they can drink and smoke all they want away from their women folk. Mrs. Green took her children along with Jane out to the deck and let them run around a bit to wear them out for bed later.

Mom as she promised took me back to our cabin with Tim following.

While Tim watched, mom removed my pants, underwear, and shoes like before. As she had me stand in front of her she removed the rubber pants and let them drop to the floor. Mom then started to remove the pins, which was holding the wet and heavy diaper on me. When she had the last pin out, she allowed the soaked diaper to drop heavily on the floor next to my rubber pants. The diaper was a little wetter than when I first started dinner. I decided not to tell her that I peed in the diaper again during dinner. I guess I had figured it was already wet so it wouldn't make a difference if I added to the wetness.

What she did next I was surprised as I didn't expect her to do it. She poured a little of the water from the rooms water picture into the wash basin where she got a washcloth wet and rubbed a little soap into it and used it to clean me up.

I was at least glad that my penis wasn't at attention this time, unlike earlier. It didn't even rise a little while mom washed it, washed between my legs, and washed my butt. She made sure to get all the pee off me.

Mom again surprised me when she offered to put me into another diaper. I was shocked as I didn't know why she would do that since it was still a few hours before we went to bed. I guess she saw the confusion on my face and said that she thought maybe it would be better for me to get ready for bed now so that I wouldn't have to do it later. Plus she thought maybe, I might even want to go to bed early since I had a long day and woke up so early.

In the end, what I thought was an offer, turned out to again not be my choice as she re-diapered me. She had me lay on the floor to make it easier for her to get me ready to diaper me. I tried to tell her I wanted to stay up and if I needed to go potty the diaper would make it hard for me to go.

Of course mom just shushed me and told me if I needed to go potty to come and get her. She said she was going to be down in the Green's cabin talking to Mrs. Green for a while. At least she was going to let me play with Tim for a while but that we would have to stay in the cabin for the rest of the night.

With that said she left us alone and went down to the Green's cabin, which was just down the hall.

After mom left our cabin Tim announced loudly, "man that was amazing!" He went on to say, "I wish I were you right now. I can't believe your mom pretty much gave you permission to go in your diapers"

To this I had to disagree, "no she didn't she told me to come and get her if I needed to go!"

Tim was still sure though that in a way since she did diaper me so early that she did kind of give me permission.

Tim then beamed all of a sudden.

"Hey I wonder, would you help me put on one of your diapers? If so then we could be diaper twins." Tim said jokingly.

I don't know why I agreed to do it, and as an afterthought it definitely was not a good idea; but right then and there I was thinking that maybe a real taste of what it was like and maybe Tim might realize how serious I was. I did not want to have to wear diapers unlike him who wanted to wear them!

I had Tim strip out of his pants, underwear, and shoes. Like Mom did with me I had Tim lie down on the floor to get ready to be diapered. I then took out a couple of cloth diapers. I had noticed that when mom diapered me, that both times she used two of the cloth diapers. It took me forever it seemed to figure out how to fold the cloth right.

Once I figured out how to fold the cloth, I started to pin it on Tim. Even though the final output was not as neat or tight as my own diaper was, it was at least on him. I then put the third and last pair of rubber pants that were clean on him. All through this process, it never occurred to me that if Tim were to use the diapers that we wouldn't be able to hide it from my mother.

Again I don't know why I listened to him but Tim convinced me to play baby with him, where we took turns being the baby. I think Tim was having more fun with that game then I was.

Anyway here we are playing on the floor of our cabin when Uncle Josh and my dad walk into the room.

Please note that neither of us had pants on so that the diapers we were wearing, were now fully exposed.

When Uncle Josh saw Tim, I think he looked like he was about to explode. I think dad realized what was about to happen and picked me up off the floor and carried me like I was five again, out into the corridor. There he put me on my bare feet and held my hand as we walked out to the open deck where we could see the ocean before the sunset.

I was amazed at the view of the ocean but was even more amazed when I saw a group of Blue Whales not too far away from Titanic. Another thing that would amaze me later was not once did I think or realize, that I was out there fully exposed in nothing but a diaper, rubber pants, and a shirt. I did realize though eventually how cold I was and I think that is when dad figured that he needed to get me back inside before I froze to death.

When we got back to our cabin it seemed pretty quiet. Dad decided to knock before entering and was greeted by Uncle Josh who opened the door for us. It turned out that Tim was not even in the room. I wanted to ask Uncle Josh where he was but I could tell that it was not a good thing right at this moment to ask.

A few moments later my question was answered when a crying Tim opened the door. He was already in his pajamas and was told to go straight to his bed and that he was told to stay there until morning.

Uncle Josh then turned to me and said very calmly that I was to not let Tim ever wear one of my diapers again, no matter what Tim tried to tell me.

"I am sorry Uncle Josh. I won't do it again!" at this a few tears made it down my cheeks. Uncle Josh just hugged me for a moment.

"It's okay Josh, you did nothing wrong so it is not your fault. Tim already knows that he isn't supposed to wear diapers."

After a quick hug the matter seemed to be dropped. I was starting to think that Dad and Uncle Josh were going to stay in the room for the rest of the night, but they finally started to leave. Before my dad walked out the door he did tell me to put on my pajamas and to go to bed.

I tried to tell him I was not sleepy which by the way was not true, mainly I just was afraid to sleep as I just knew I was going to have my nightmare again. Dad told me that I didn't need to go to sleep now, that he just wanted me to get ready. He also asked me to lie down in mom's bed as Tim was being punished. I said ok and he then left.

A few minutes after our dads left I asked Tim if he was okay as I could still hear him crying softly.

"y-y-yes I-I-I am o-o-k-k-ay" Tim said stuttering like I do at times.

"I am sorry if you got spanked" I whispered to him.

"N-n-no p-p-p-pro-b-b-elem" Tim answered.

"I guess he whipped you pretty hard like he did the last time" I said.

"W-w-worse t-t-then l-l-last time!" he said sounding a little better.

I watched him rub the tears out of his eyes and take a few breaths before he started to tell me what happened.

"He was really mad and after you and your dad left he took the diaper off me and I am glad I hadn't used it because I would have got it worse he said if I had. Once he got the diaper off he took off my shirt and put me over his knee. At some point I am not sure when, but he had taken his belt off and started to whip me. I got strapped from my thighs up to the small of my back, but most of them landed in the same area on my butt. I am so sore back there that it feels like I am on fire. I swear it hurts so badly!" At this Tim started to cry again.

I waited for him to stop crying, until he was ready to talk again and just stayed quiet. I was not going to force it from him, but let him tell me in his own time.

"He was really mad that I was wearing that diaper. I swear Josh, I didn't tell him you had help me put it on, I told him I put it on myself after nagging you about letting me wear it. So you shouldn't get in trouble because of it. After he spanked me he said he thought I was over the diaper thing and I just really disappointed him when he found out that was not the case. I don't think my dad will ever trust me again. I am supposed to apologize tomorrow to everyone and explain what I did. I don't know how I am going to be able to do it!" And with that, Tim was crying once again.

After a while I noticed that Tim had cried himself to sleep. I would find out tomorrow the reason he had left the room was because his dad sent him to use the bathroom before he went to bed which he was to do once he got back to the room. He was also told, that he was not to leave that bed until morning no matter what. Tim then told me if for some reason he wakes up wet because he didn't let it all out in the potty when he had a chance, he would then get another beating.

Of course I would as I said, learn that tomorrow, for now I was all by myself trying the hardest to stay awake as I did not want to have the dream! As I drifted off to sleep I noticed I had to pee and knowing I was wearing a diaper let it loose. Again I totally forgot the need to poop!

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Chapter 12: Again the Dream

I had tried my best to stay awake, but it was a losing battle, I was out shortly before 9pm. For a while I was sleeping in a land of no dreams, just perfectly dreamless sleep. Because of this I was actually getting some much needed sleep, but as they say, all good things must come to an end, and I soon found myself in a whirl wind of dreams.

Unlike the other times when I had my nightmare, this time there was no good dream that came first. I went from dreamless sleep, to screams of fear from people who were about to die drowning or freezing to death in the cold angry Atlantic Ocean!

The Nightmare had just started when I was all of a sudden brought out of it. Mom had noticed me shaking in my sleep and crying and realized that I might be having a nightmare so she gently awoke me and then held me until I calmed down.

I looked around and noticed other than a small lit lamp, it was completely dark in the room. It looked like that Dad and Uncle Josh were still out and mom must have come back finally from being with Mrs. Green.

"Are you okay now honey?" mom asked me.

I nodded and then said to her, "I am okay."

"Were you having the nightmare again?" She asked.

Again I nodded, but this time I didn't say anything.

"Do you need your diaper change?" she asked.

Truthfully I didn't know, I figured I was okay since I didn't remember getting to the point where I wet myself in the dream yet, but then again I didn't know for sure. I had completely forgot I wet the diaper before falling asleep.

"I-I-I d-d-don't know" I said.

Mom stuck her hand down the front of the diaper to check and proclaimed that I was indeed wet which shocked me at first. It was then, when I remembered wetting before falling to sleep. I decided it was better to let Mom believe I did it in my sleep rather on purpose. I had remembered that I was told that I was supposed to come and get her if I needed to use the bathroom. I really didn't want to get spanked for being lazy.

Mom had me lie down on the floor, like I did last night, so that she could more easily change my diaper. As I felt how heavy the diaper really was, I knew right then that I had to have peed more in to it while I was asleep. I found it hard to believe that I had wet without even wetting in the dream. I realized real quickly if this was happening then it may be possible that even if I stop dreaming the nightmare I may still be bedwetting. The realization of this made me start to cry again, but this time I was crying silently while mom unpinned the very wet diaper and put me into some new clean dry diapers.

After she had me diapered mom then helped me back into my pajama bottoms.

Mom then tried to get me to lie back down, but I was just too scared to do this as I knew what would happen if I did. I would fall asleep and then eventually have the nightmare again and I did not want to go through that ever again.

Mom realized that if she kept trying to get me to lie down that I was going to wake up Tim with all of my crying and carrying on. She just held me on her lap with my head under her chin and started to sing softly to me. With one of her hands she held me and the other she gently rubbed my tummy under my pajama shirt, like she use to when I was younger.

I tried to fight it, but Mom's singing always worked at calming me down. Once she realized she was finally lulling me back to sleep she promised she would hold me all night and protect me. She managed finally to get me to lie down in bed with her and like she promised she held me until I went to sleep and continued to hold me through the night.

I am not sure if it was because I knew I was safe sleeping with my mom or if it was because of exhaustion, but I soon fell asleep and was once again in a peaceful dreamless sleep.

I am not sure when I started to dream again but my first dream after falling asleep was a good one. I was 7 years old and I remember waking from a nightmare. I had plenty of nightmares growing up, it didn't help that I was afraid of the dark and like I said still am to some extent.

I don't remember what the nightmare was that woke me this particular time all I know was when I cried out, my mommy came in to sooth me and make me feel better.

And just like she had before I fell asleep, she changed my wet diaper at the time and put me into a clean dry diaper, Mom then held me in her arms and sang me back to sleep. It was a feeling of security that mom was giving me in this dream and in the real world now.

I had other similar dreams throughout the night all meant to make me feel safe and more secure.

I guess the reason that my dream of Jacob returning shocked me so much is because until then all of my dreams were when I was a little kid and far away from this ship. Now I was dreaming about Jacob and even though it was a good dream I couldn't help but feel a little fear as I was now back on the titanic in this dream.

Like the first time I dreamed about Jacob I was looking into his eyes and reliving the kiss we had. I was glad that I was still being hugged by my mom so that I was facing away from her. I would have hate to been kissing her as passionately as I was kissing Jacob and have to try and explain that, when I was woke up.

As before, the dream progressed and now I was chasing after Jacob all over the ship. We were laughing and having all kinds of fun.

At some point I realized though that Jacob was nowhere around anymore. I was once again on an abandon ship with no passengers or crew. It was just me out in the middle of the Atlantic. As I was staring around, calling out the names of the people I knew, I noticed that once again the sky was getting darker and the ocean colder and angrier like!

Soon after I noticed these changes the real nightmare started! There I was on deck watching people run towards the rear of the ship! It was cold outside this particular night and I was shivering in that cold air, but I wasn't sure if it was because of how cold it was or how afraid I was! Everyone around me was screaming! I had no idea what to do! Part of me said I needed to go back to my cabin and join the rest of my family! The other part of me said I couldn't go back because that part of the ship is already flooded!

I was terrified and all I wanted was to at least have the comfort of someone that I at least knew! I even kept an eye out for the Green's as I knew they would understand as they had kids of their own! I tried and tried to find someone but in the end I couldn't find any of them! I started to wonder if they were lucky and got on one of the life boats or not! I don't know why I didn't get on one I just knew that it was too late now as all the life boats had been launched!

I was crying now and screaming for my mommy and daddy! I noticed that the back of the boat was rising and it was becoming harder to keep from sliding all the way back to the front of the boat, and the angry cold water!

Suddenly I feel my bladder let go, as once again I pee my pants! I keep telling myself it is only a dream, to wake up, but for some reason I keep getting this message saying nooooo... nooooo... it is real, this time the ship is really sinking! Of course I start to believe it as I could feel all my senses working overtime! I feel something different this time as well, I realized it was that I had to poop real badly (I remembered that moment that I had been holding this poop all day. That I somehow forgot about.) Now out of sheer terror I lost control and that I was going in my pants whether I liked it or not! I stood there frozen in my fear while I felt a large turd enter my underpants! No real time to be embarrassed, still I couldn't help feeling disgusted that I crapped my pants and while doing so I felt more pee ran down my leg!

Finally after I evacuated my bowels I found the ability to move once again! I decided to move towards the back of the ship like everyone else! I figured my parents are there and I just missed them pass me!

I run back to the aft section of Titanic where I start to look for something to hold on to! While looking the lights aboard Titanic flicker and then go off permanently!

I am now plunged into darkness and the fear I was feeling up to now was nothing compared to what I felt after the lights went out! It was completely dark, I would even say, pitch black! Fortunately there were some stars out that after I got used to the darkness I was able to see somewhat around me.

All I knew was that I could feel the back of the ship still rising out of the ocean and I needed to grab something real quickly or I was going to get hurt! I was terrified as I was sure I was going to die in the next few moments!

As I started to feel myself slip backwards someone grabbed me from behind! I heard a voice that sounded familiar but like the other times could not place it, say my name! I tried again to look around to see who grabbed me but was not able to turn far enough! For some reason I looked back in front of me and noticed the man's arms and hands. He had something on his forearm but in the dark it was hard to make out.

I shouted for him to let me go that I wanted my mommy and daddy! He yelled something back but I couldn't quite hear what he said over all the other noise around us. The next thing I did hear from him was, "Hang On!"

Again I felt us jump off the ship and out towards the water. As we were falling towards the water I once again look down at this man's hands that were hanging on to me. Again I notice something on his forearm. Then I notice something else this time. Grabbed tightly in one of his hands I see my pipe that I bought earlier today. I tried to ask him how he got my pipe but it was that moment that we plunged into the ocean and my lungs filled with the cold salty water! I tried to scream but I couldn't, I couldn't even breath!

I noticed that the man still had hold of me! I tried to break free from him but he was strong and held me tight! As I could feel myself sliding into the unconscious world I realized that we must have broken the water's surface as I could all of a sudden breathe again, and that is when I started screaming!!!

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