Disclaimer: The following story contains material unsuitable for those under the age of 18 (or whatever the legal age may be in your region). There are scenes of sexual and romantic activity between those of the same sex. All characters, events and places are fictional and any similarities to reality are completely coincidental. The only unoriginal aspects of the story are certain references, quotes and parallels to the movies "Moulin Rouge" and "Titanic". I do not own the rights to "Moulin Rouge" or "Titanic", obviously, and this is not intended to constitute any copyright infringements. There is one instance where a monologue from William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet is used...this obviously is also not an original work. If material of this nature offends you, please exit immediately. Otherwise, enjoy!
Introduction by the Author: Hello everyone. Liquid Dream here. So, it's quite definitely been nearly a year (if not longer) since I've submitted anything. I've decided to return to my original style of writing romance, so here I go!
TO BE LOVED
Prologue The greatest thing you'll ever learn...
My name is Xander. My story is one of youth. Of timeless love. Of loss. Of the aftermath of loss. My story is about two guys who, despite the odds against them, fell into a love so deep that one of them was lost forever in its ocean and the other still drifts, lost in the cold abyss without his lover. My name is Xander. This is my story.
:1: History Repeats Itself
It was mid-August when I met Keith. School had just started and I walked into my second period class and looked upon the other students. He stood there talking to some underclassmen girl who also happened to be taking Drama. At first I thought wouldn't like him. He was short...not exceedingly so, but no more than 5'9". His brown, curly hair glistened with blonde highlights that accented his deep, doe-like brown eyes. He was muscular, but not overly so. His baseball player's build filled out his clothing just enough to where you could tell he was in shape...leaving the mystery of what lay beneath to the imagination of any who cared to look. The first word that came to mind...stylish, I think. From his trendy skate shoes to his Volcom/Quicksilver outfit, it was obvious he knew how to turn heads. Still, though, he made it look like it was just a coincidence, like he cared less what people thought of how he dressed. He wasn't materialistic like that. He wasn't into the popularity game, although he was well liked by pretty much everyone. I would later learn that Keith was also as kind as a person can be, funny and accepting of others. He was, to me, perfect.
I moved to Whispering Oaks High School a year prior. After running into a bit of trouble at my last school in the middle of my junior year, I decided it was time to move on...or so I told myself. "Move on," was just my euphemism for running away from the things in my past that I didn't have the courage or strength to face. One of those things was Alec. I loved Alec with all my heart... Then again, I've always been a fool. I'd met him in my sophomore year at Greensboro High in, yes, another drama class. From the moment I met him, I was captivated. Astonishingly good looking, talented, funny...he was flawless in my eyes. Throughout the course of our class, I fell deeper and deeper into infatuation with him. It got to the point where it became painful to think about him...knowing that I couldn't be with him. Then, I made a big mistake. One warm Spring night, I shakily told him over the phone that I was in love with him.
"Wow. Xander...I'm flattered. But we're just friends, you know? Don't worry, Dude, I want you to know that this will change absolutely nothing between us," he had said.
I thought everything would be ok. I had relieved myself from a terribly burdensome secret. He was fine with it. All was going to be well, right? Wrong. From that day forth, Alec avoided talking to me, making eye contact in class or walking anywhere near me in the halls. It was over. I had ruined our friendship. My heart was broken.
So, here I was, in a new school, a clean slate. I had loved the year so far. And even as I walked into this class and noticed Keith, nothing could ever have alerted me to what our futures held.
:2: Realization
Three weeks into class Keith and I had become friends. In those three weeks, I had come to learn more about him...and somewhere deep in the recesses of my mind and heart, something was stirring. By the end of the fourth week, I had to admit it to myself...I was in love. Seeing Keith every morning in class just brought a smile to my face. Sitting next to him made me feel safe, secure and like nothing could ever go wrong. My friend Anton, who knew I was gay and was also in the class, watched knowingly as I would glance over at Keith in the middle of a lecture when he wasn't looking at me and I would smile, feeling completed...if for just a moment.
"You like him," Anton said as we walked out to lunch.
"Who!?" I replied, more of an exclamation than a question.
"Keith. I saw how you were staring at him, Xander..." Anton said, almost whispering.
He was right. I couldn't deny it. He knew me too well for me to try and cover it up.
"Anton, he can't know. I told you about Alec...I couldn't handle it happening twice," I said, my eyes pleading with his.
"It's safe with me, dude. I promise," he assured me, an earnest expression upon his face.
I wasn't afraid that Anton would tell Keith, for I knew I could trust him with most anything. It was myself that I didn't trust. Anton had noticed me staring...was it that obvious? Were other people going to be able to notice? Had they already? Did Keith suspect something? The questions raced through my head all day and night. I returned to class the next morning determined to control myself and be less obvious. But as hard as I tried, I still found myself glancing over next to me, ecstatically happy that I was so close to Keith. I glanced back at Anton, who sat right behind me, and he gave me a friendly smirk.
"Alright, find a partner and practice reciting your monologues to each other," Mr. Plantard, our drama teacher, said.
Instinctively, I started to turn around to ask Anton if he wanted to partner up, but in mid-spin, Keith turned to me and made eye-contact.
"Wanna partner up?" he asked simply.
My heart leapt and I felt myself flush.
"Oh...sure," I said quickly, not wanting to sound overexcited, but at the same time not trying to play it so low that I came off as rude.
Keith and I stood and started walking to the other side of the room to practice. I looked back at Anton who was laughing quietly and asked another girl in our class to be his partner.
"Do you want to go first?" Keith asked.
"Heh...alright. I haven't rehearsed that much, so don't laugh," I said, trying to play it cool.
"Dude, don't worry. Mine will be twice as bad, I promise," he said and smiled back.
"Ok. Mine's from Romeo and Juliet. It's Romeo's monologue outside of Juliet's balcony," I explained.
I took a deep breath and began, "But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the East, and Juliet is the sun! Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, Who is already sick and pale with grief That thou her maid art far more fair than she. Be not her maid, since she is envious. Her vestal livery is but sick and green, And none but fools do wear it. Cast it off. It is my lady; O, it is my love! O that she knew she were! She speaks, yet she says nothing. What of that? Her eye discourses; I will answer it. I am too bold; 'tis not to me she speaks. Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven, Having some business, do entreat her eyes To twinkle in their spheres till they return. What if her eyes were there, they in her head? The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven Would through the airy region stream so bright That birds would sing and think it were not night. See how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O that I were a glove upon that hand, That I might touch that cheek!"
With every line, I looked at Keith. Though my words spoke of fair Juliet, my heart knew whom I intended them to describe...Keith. His eyes were the eyes I spoke of, his cheek the one I lovingly described. I finished and cast my eyes to the ground as indication that I was done. Kyle stared at me for a moment. No...it was more than a moment. I couldn't judge what his stare meant. I felt awkward, as though I was being silently criticized. Then, the awkwardness was broken as he raised his hands and clapped.
"That was...amazing," he said, close to breathless.
I blushed and murmured out some kind of thanks and gestured for him to take my place. He stood in front of me and began his introduction.
"Mine's really, really cliché, just so you know. I decided on Jack's short little monologue at the end of `Titanic.' I strung together a few pieces his dialogue to make it a bit longer," he said, going slightly pink at the ears.
I smiled (inwardly and outwardly) at his choice of monologue.
"Just a few more minutes. It'll take them a while to get the boats organized," he began.
I looked at him, quietly and intently. He didn't continue. I blinked.
"Heh, um, there's one small problem. You've seen `Titanic', right?" he asked.
I nodded in the affirmative.
"Then you know that Rose talks in between his lines... Um...this is gonna sound kinda weird, but do you think you could read her lines? It just helps me get the flow and feel of the lines right," he asked me, picking up his script and offering it to me.
I chuckled nervously as I took the script. His pink ears seemed to deepen a hue. Well, it was to be expected...it's awkward for a guy to ask another guy to read the lines of a romantic opposite. Of course, he just needed the lines read out, it didn't matter by who. I cleared my throat and looked at the script.
"I love you, Jack..." I read, feeling the heat of my blush radiate from my face.
"No...don't say your goodbyes, Rose. Don't give up. Don't do it," Keith said, his voice deep, slightly raspy as he imagined himself immersed in the icy cold of the ocean.
Then he did something I would never have expected. His hand shot out and grabbed my free hand. He clutched it tightly and looked into my eyes...
"It's just part of the scene. It's all an act. Calm down and read the damn lines!" I was screaming inside my head.
But I had been drawn into the act. I dropped the script. I didn't need it. I'd seen "Titanic" too many times to need the lines of its most famous scene.
"I'm so cold..." I replied, looking deep into his brown eyes.
"You're going to get out of this... you're going to go on and you're going to make babies and watch them grow and you're going to die an old lady, warm in your bed. Not here. Not this night. Do you understand me?" he continued, the urgency in his voice mounting as he gripped my hand tighter.
This last line would have been found humorous to me on any other occasion...but not hear and now. Not with him.
"I can't feel my body," I replied weakly, giving myself over more and more to the act.
"Rose, listen to me. Listen. Winning that ticket was the best thing that ever happened to me," he went on, his voice beginning to shake and weaken, just as Jack's did in the movie, "It brought me to you. And I'm thankful, Rose. I'm thankful."
"You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise," he said, his hand beginning to tremble with every new word.
As I looked into his eyes I saw it. There was something there. His act had taken me. I believed him. He was Jack and I was Rose. A tear rolled down my cheek.
"...I promise," I whispered.
"Never let go..." he whispered back.
"I promise. I'll never let go, Jack. I'll never let go," I said, in awe of all that had just happened.
I snapped out of it. In an instant I realized what I had just done. I had allowed him to see everything. He had seen it in my eyes, I knew it. The bell rang at that moment. I pulled my hand from his and ran. I grabbed my backpack and quickly darted out the door. I did it again...I had destroyed another friendship because I couldn't control my emotions.
Author's Note: Well, there's the first installment of the series. I hope you all enjoyed it. Please, please, please send ANY questions, comments, suggestions, etc to me at liquid_dream231@hotmail.com . I'd love to hear from you.