To Love Again

By Pigs Fly

Published on Sep 1, 2001

Gay

This is an original story and all similarities in names, places, etc, alive or otherwise, are pure coincidences.

Ted's Point Of View:

"JEREMY! PLEASE! PULL OVER! I BEG YOU!" I shouted as loud as I could out of the window in the car while my right hand was steering the wheel. It was dangerous, but life did not matter anymore, not without Jeremy.

"SHUT UP! I DON'T WANNA LISTEN TO YOU! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" He shouted back at me. I could see the tears on his face, and my heart ached at the thought that I had caused him so much pain, but he misunderstood the scene; if only Jeremy would listen to my explanation.

Our cars were running faster than ever, and we were shouting back and forth, with me trying to get Jeremy to pull over and him answering me in negatives. I was worried sick about him cause his eyesight was blurred by the tears in his eyes. We arrived at the red light and I stopped my car, only to realize too late that Jeremy had rushed ahead. A bus from the right side of the road could not stop in time and the collision could not be avoided. Jeremy's car was sent hurling onto the left lane and screeched all the way onto a tree.

"NO!!! Jeremy...," I, as did many other drivers, alighted from my car and rushed forward to Jeremy.

"Please, God! Don't let him die; I can't live without him, no...," I muttered softly under my breath when I reached Jeremy, all the while trying to get him out of the car, which was overturned and badly damaged. Fortunately, the window to his seat was not underneath, so it was easier to pull him out.

For the next minutes, all I knew was a blur. I was crying, not bothering about the people around me. I heard someone calling the ambulance and the police with his cellphone, and some people were trying to help me got Jeremy out. I was shaking with fear when I finally managed to. He was bleeding all over his body and it was driving me insane. I realized too late that I should not have dragged him out that way for fear of any broken bones, but I lost all sanity and thinking processes at the thought of my soulmate dying inside the car. I just couldn't bear the thought of it. He could not die on me, no way.

Soon, the ambulance and the police arrived. After all the formalities, the ambulance took him away; I followed in my car after the police asked me some questions. I kept thinking of what to do if he died. My heart was aching so badly that I just could not think straight.

Arriving at the hospital, I rushed inside and sought out a nurse.

"Hey, I am Ted and I need to ask about the patient who had just been wheeled in. He had an accident and I need to know where he is." I did not care to talk more. All I could think of was Jeremy dying in the hospital somewhere.

"I'm sorry, but you can't see him. He is in the operating theater right now and the condition is critical. Are you a family member? I need your signature."

"I am his roommate. Can I sign that form?"

"I'm sorry, but we have to have a family member. Can you contact them?"

"Okay, I will." I rushed towards the payphone nearby and dialed up his parents. They were shocked and told me that they would be here very soon.

After informing them, I rushed to the waiting place outside the operating theater. My heart was beating so fast and it was all my fault. I should have been the one inside, not Jeremy. I was the cause of it all; why Jeremy? If Jeremy didn't make it, what good would life be?

I waited on and on for hours. Jeremy's parents arrived by then, signed the necessary papers, and Jeremy had yet to come out from the operating room. It was maddening, and it was killing me. Then suddenly, the door opened and Jeremy was wheeled into the ICU.

"Doctor, I am Jeremy's father. How is my son?"

"Well, the condition is not too bright at the moment. He does not have the stamina someone his physique and age should have. His hands and legs are bruised and some parts are bleeding, but no broken bones thankfully. However, his head must have been hit hardly during the collision and it was bleeding. I am worried that he may not pull through. I am sorry, I have done my best. All we can do is wait because now it all depends on him and his will to live through this."

The doctor walked away and the three of us ran towards the ICU. However, only one of us would be allowed into the room each tim to see Jeremy and it was only for five minutes. Jeremy's dad went in first, then his mum and I was last. His dad was looking grim and miserable while his mum was crying all the time. Finally, it was my turn and I went in to see my man.

Jeremy's head, legs and hands were all bandaged and it hurt so much to even look at him, knowing that I was the cause of all he has to go through right now. I made my way to the side of the bed and sat down in the chair.

"J, I'm sorry. I don't want you to die, you hear me? I can't live without you. There are so many things I want to explain to you. I never cheat on you, really. You have to live and give me a chance to explain. J, please. I'm begging you. Wa...wake up, please," I cried softly and it hurt so much that I just couldn't say anything else. I just held Jeremy's hand in mine until it was time to leave.

2 days went by, but it felt like forever. Jeremy was still in a coma and there was no sign of waking up. I never left the hospital since the day of the accident, not even to work. I had called up my workplace, and Jeremy's, to inform them of the accident.

"Ted, we know how much you love Jeremy, but you have not eaten anything at all for two days. Water will not be able to sustain your strength and it is not healthy."

"Thanks, Mrs. McKnight, but I am not hungry. I just want to be here when Jeremy needs me. I know he will wake up. We have planned to be together forever and not even death can spoil that plan for us. If anything happens to him, I don't wanna live either."

Just then, Mr. McKnight walked in with some sandwiches and he offered me on, but I refused, saying that I did not have an appetite.

"Well, sonny. Do you want to see Jeremy when he wakes up?"

"Sure I do, sir. I love him so much and it hurts more than words can say," I said, trying to hold back the tears that had threatened to flow down.

"Good, but you have to eat something. You don't wanna die on him, do you? No food means no strength and you may faint anytime. Jeremy is worrying enough and you know we love you just as much. How will we feel if you drop down unconscious some time later?"

I realized the wisdom of his words and I thanked him for the sandwich, struggling to gulp down the food. Everything seemed tasteless to me. I could not concentrate on anything but Jeremy. We were still taking turns to look at Jeremy and I had been in and out from the room countless times, but it never felt enough. I wanna be there with him for days, but it just wasn't possible.

That evening, I was in Jeremy's room talking to him about our first meeting, the first time we kissed, the first time we made love and I told him how much I love him. Suddenly, the monitor was beeping and I was surprised. The doctor rushed in and I was told to leave for a while.

The three of us sat outside, impatiently. J's mum was crying, his dad was pacing back and forth and I kept twisting my fingers while sitting down beside J's mum. It was pure agony to be waiting like this while anything at all might happen to Jeremy.

After what seemed like eternity, the doctor came out and he told us that Jeremy's condition had stabilized and if everything was fine, Jeremy would be put in a normal hospital room. However, there was no sign of him waking up yet. It was hard to predict; it might be hours, minutes, days, months, years......

We heaved a sigh of relief at the knowledge that Jeremy was no longer in danger, but the heaviness of our hearts was still there because no one knew when Jeremy would be waking up, or even if he would at all.

I was surprised when I saw Jeff entering the waiting room. I wanted to kill him there and then, but I held back the anger and pulled him out from the room before he could say anything at all.

"What do you want? How do you know we are here?"

"I am sorry to hear about him, Ted. I called your workplace and they told me you are here and about the accident."

"Well, what do you want? Are you happy that you have caused all this misery? I love that man, Jeff, and if something happens to him, I won't forgive you. He has not woken up from his coma for 2 days."

"I just wanna apologize and I am truly sorry. I will not bother you anymore, but I just need to apologize to Jeremy too. Will you call me up when he wakes up?"

"Well...fine, I don't know why I am forgiving you, but fine. I'll give you a call when he wakes up." I took down his phone number and he left.

Jeremy did not have a relapse that evening and he was allowed to be put in a normal hospital room. There were another patient in the room, an old lady who, as we learned by talking to her, had fallen down in the bathroom and she was sent to the hospital immediately.

"Hey, Ted. We are going down to the cafeteria to eat. Do you wanna come along? Jeremy will be okay in here."

"No, thanks, sir. I wanna be here when he wakes up. I will just have a sandwich, please, if you don't mind." They nodded and left the room. The old lady was sleeping soundly and I took the opportunity to hold Jeremy's hand. The bandages had been taken off and I was glad to see the bruises healing well.

"J, wake up, please. I need a chance to explain." I was muttering softly for a few minutes when I could suddenly feel his hand moving. It was a tiny movement yet I knew it was there.

"J, J, WAKE UP. Hey, J!"

Jeremy's eyes fluttered open, but he closed them again after a few seconds. I called for the doctor with the alarm by the bed and he arrived a few minutes later. After I told him what had happened, he began to do some checking up on Jeremy, the eyes and stuff like that.

"Well, I think he is fine. It is common for patients who have just woken up from a coma to behave that way. They will be fully awake the next time round." I thanked the doctor and rushed to the cafeteria to tell J's parents about the news. I ate my sandwich as quickly as I could and ran back because I wanted to be with Jeremy when he woke up the next time round.

When I arrived there, Jeremy was awake and he was talking to the old lady. I rushed to his bedside, feeling relieved and happy.

"J, I am so glad that you are awake." However, his eyes were cold and he ignored me.

"Get out of here. I don't wanna see you, or talk to you. We are through."

"J, please. Listen to me, I...."

"SHUT UP! I DON'T WANNA SEE YOU, OKAY?"

"I'm sorry, J. I...I will....I will see you later."

"Don't bother," he said as I walked out of the room. Jeremy's point of view:

"He is your boyfriend, eh?"

I was surprised when my hospital roommate asked me suddenly.

"Well, ex-boyfriend. He cheated on me and I don't wanna see him or talk to him anymore."

"Hmm, I won't know that he is your boyfriend, only God knows."

"Then, why did you ask me if he is my boyfriend or not?" I was surprised and asked her out of curiosity.

"Didn't you see his eyes? His love for you is written all over them. If I were you, I would be elated to have someone loving me as deeply as he loves you. You are gonna regret it, sonny. He loves you more than life itself because I had seen the way he looked at you when you were in a coma this morning."

I thought about what she had just told me, but mum and dad came in at that point of time. I was surprised to see them here, but I should have known cause Ted would call them for sure. Mum filled me in on what had happened the past three days.

"You are so lucky, J. Ted were with you all the time. He even starved himself for two days before your dad finally managed to persuade him to eat something, if only just to live and be with you. He loves you so much, J. Oh, yeah! Where is he?"

I was ashamed of what I had done, but nevertheless, I told them the long and short of the matter. I could sense mum's disapproval of the mean way I had treated Ted, but she made no sound and I was grateful. Now, if only I could find Ted! I could not move about because I was still linked up with some cords and stuff. Ted's Point Of View:

I sat down in a quiet corner in the hospital and no one was there. I thought about Jeremy and my heart ached when I remembered the way he looked at me. It was so painful and I cried softly. The tears were making the sleeves of my shirt wet, but all I could think of was Jeremy.

I remembered the first time I saw him. I was in his kitchen, looking for a glass of water and he had just woken up, looking so adorable. Then, there was that look on his face at the mall before Christmas. He was so surprised at my sudden tapping on his shoulder that he jumped and everything went flying in all directions.

That was not all. I could still remember the first time I ever kissed him on his lips. It was so beautiful and it hurt to know that it was all over now. Jeremy would never forgive me and it hurt.

I could still feel his touch, his caress and the expression on his face the first time we made love. It was so beautiful, so tender and most importantly, he looked so happy. His smile and laughter were no longer mine and I would never make him frown or laugh anymore. He could not forgive me for all I had done and I was hurting miserably.

I could not hear his voice when he greeted me in the morning, the tender kiss and the teasing. I would not be able to feel him next to me, embracing me, and it was killing me slowly, painfully.

All those only told me one thing: he was out of my life forever and I couldn't bear the thought. I took out a small bottle of pills and in a moment of insanity, wanted to gulp them down. I had bought the pills at the pharmacy in the hospital and I wanted to end my life. There was no me and no life without Jeremy.

I was preparing to swallow the pills when suddenly they were all scattered all over the floor. I looked up and saw Jeremy, his eyes filled with tears.

"What do you think you are doing, you idiot? You don't love me anymore, you don't want me anymore, do you?" Jeremy shouted at me, with the tears in his eyes.

"J, I am not hallucinating, am I? Are you really here?"

Jeremy bent down next to me and took me in his arms. We sobbed, soaking each other with tears of pain and sorrow. After a while, J looked up at me, gazing into my eyes with a serious expression on his face.

"Do you love me, Ted?"

"I do, J. I do, more than life itself."

"Then, why do you want to kill yourself?"

"I...I couldn't bear the thought of living without you. You...you said we are through, are we, J? Tell me, please," I looked at him pleadingly.

"No, we are not, but I want to hear your explanation, okay?"

"I will, J. C'mon. Sit beside me and I will explain them to you." I put my hand over his shoulder and began to tell him what had actually happened. I even told him that Jeff had come to apologize and he wanted to say sorry to Jeremy too.

"Will you forgive him, J?"

"Yeah...I guess I will." We sat down in a comfortable silence. No words was spoken cause we knew that everything was all right and life would be beautiful because we have each other and nothing else mattered. Our heads were resting one on top of the other.

"J, will you do me the biggest favor in my life?"

"What's that?"

"Ever since we are together, my soul, my heart are complete and I know that I want to be with you forever. Will you marry me and be mine? Not even eternity can separate us and the love we share. Please..."

"I...I do, I will, Ted. I love you so much."

We kissed and it was a salty kiss as the tears of happiness were mingled in it, but we didn't care about it. We knew that the future ahead would be filled with trials and pain, but as long as we were together, life would always be beautiful and we were gonna be just fine.

~~The End ~~ A word from the author:

This is where the author, meaning me, will be thanking everyone who has been with me from the beginning of the chapter. Thank you for the e-mails and words of encouragement. I hope you love this chapter and I want to take this opportunity to let everyone know that I have a new story coming up. It is called "Miracle of A Dying Star" and I hope you will read the story too. Thank you so much and "Good Bye."


Rate this story

Liked this story?

Nifty is entirely volunteer-run and relies on people like you to keep the site running. Please support the Nifty Archive and keep this content available to all!

Donate to The Nifty Archive
Nifty

© 1992, 2024 Nifty Archive. All rights reserved

The Archive

About NiftyLinks❤️Donate