This above all: To thine own self be true, for it must follow as dost the night the day, that canst not be false to any man." Shakespeare (Hamlet)
Each relationship, unique unto itself, must find its way and become what it will. We all make the journey. Enjoy this story of Steve and Alejandro (sounds like Alehandro -- Spanish). Though the theme of wrestling will be a key component in the early chapters and a continuing theme, the story is about relationships and being true to oneself.
Please do not distribute to other sites without permission of the author. Comments can be sent to firehosejoe@yahoo.com
To Thine Own Self Be True Chapter One
Back in '92 when Steven Daniels graduated from VCU in Richmond, VA, the wrestling teams, both varsity and intramural were full of well muscled talent, skilled combatants and great coaches. His BA in Physical Education, augmented with years as a wrestler made him a strong candidate for high schools in the Richmond metropolitan area seeking to expand their sports offerings.
He had grown up in a wrestling program in the mid west where wrestling was a strong NCAA sport. From his early teens he wanted to be like those guys he saw wrestling at the university, big, strong, and confident. He'd made it. He'd wrestled competitively from the time he was 12 all the way through his years at VCU.
Lean and well muscled with chiseled features, his radiant self confidence and was a magnet for both men and women. On scholarship at VCU, he'd been careful to keep his jock wrestler image intact. His male muscle was occasionally rubbed raw as he sought relief and tried to maintain the rigid control over his libido. By this point in his life, it was second nature. It had been `eyes up and eyes forward' since he began showering after practice and matches.
Of course the jock jokes and locker room antics were part of his cover. They were, for him, another wrestling drill. Stay focused. Do what is expected. Win!
The sexual encounters he'd been able to enjoy were only pursued out of town when he was able to travel during vacations and on the occasional weekend. Book stores and gay newspapers gave him the opportunities he needed to vent his pent up drive for sexual release. Hating to have to hide and feeling dirty from the process only confused him. There was no question in his mind. He knew what he wanted - sex with men who would challenge him and preferably with wrestling as the erotic motivation.
Landing a job in one of the stronger academic schools in the city was both a blessing and a challenge. Wrestling was not a popular sport but had been requested by enough students and parents that the administration was willing to invest in a coach to build the program. Within two years they were winning enough team matches and surpassing some stronger programs with individual talent that Steve began to believe the program might survive.
The feeder programs -- middle school intramurals, summer city athletic programs, boy's clubs and the like -- swelled the high school program rapidly. His determination, enthusiasm, love for the sport, and joy in working with young men was the leaven that helped the whole program develop and become one of the `in places to be'.
Steve was `one of the guys' both on staff and to his friends. He'd seen the backlash that could occur when one of his friends decided to come out of hiding. Ugly. Though he was no coward, Steve knew what he loved doing and if staying deep in the closet was the cost, it was a cost he was willing to pay.
He found himself chuckling with a bit of gallows humor thinking that he was surrounded most of his work day with young men in various states of activity, dress and undress, displaying their individual developing adolescent stages of maturity. It was only with the upper classmen, seniors and the occasional junior that he had to curb his interest with an iron will. Sure they were good looking but they were still boys -- men in the making perhaps, but they were hands off. It was no real temptation. Steve knew what he wanted.
The diligent effort over the two years he had led the program continued to show growth as a result of Steve's drive coupled with the natural recruitment that guys do when they're having fun. It was '94 and Steve's life was about to change.
Personal computers (PCs) were now part of the norm for schools and businesses. Stu, one of the math teachers, was known to be a bit of a tech geek. Sharing the same planning period, they struck up a bit of a friendship due to Stu's facility with computers and the burgeoning internet. AOL was becoming a widely recognized acronym for access to the internet that was quickly gaining popularity with its email and chat programs.
Steve saw possible potential to search out others like him who wanted to wrestle and share sex. He focused his attention on Stu with loads of questions which quickly led to invitations to come over for a beer and to play with Stu's computer and learn the rudiments of AOL. Steve's well honed intuition guessed that Stu had other agendas to explore but that wasn't going to happen. Sure Stu was a nice guy and all, but he was within the arbitrary fifty mile radius that precluded any sexual exploration.
Though Steve had frequent opportunities for an active social life, he kept a low profile as much as possible. This gave him plenty of workout time and hours of weekend time to spend with Stu learning the ins and outs of using a computer. Not that he gained mastery but he was able to move among the programs available on Stu's machine. He longed for private time to search out the possible chat rooms that might help him get connected with other guys. His wish came true.
With the end of the academic year, Stu was offered a contract to teach summer school. The promise of additional income allowed him to buy an updated computer and sell his machine to Steve.
They spent a Friday night toward the end of the school year enjoying pizza and beer, hooking up the computer and getting Steve on line with AOL. When all the programs were up and running, pass words had been selected and everything was sweet, Steve finally had the freedom to explore what he hoped would be an expanding world of wrestling opportunities.
As soon as Stu left his apartment, Steve began his search of any AOL chat rooms relating to M2M wrestling. Alex responded to his invitation to chat. Describing himself as a mature wrestler, not an aggressive competitor seeking a pin and count but rather a man who enjoyed the erotic extended grappling, Alex's words honed in on the longing that had burned in Steve for a long time.
In answer to Steve's question Alex described his favorite kind of match. It allowed each man to test the other until they had reached exhaustion and agreed who had won.
Steve was fully erect, breathing hard. Here was a man who understood, a man who wanted the same thing. Steve didn't care what `mature' meant, he just wanted to talk to Alex without the inconvenience of a chat group and said as much.
Fearful that he had moved too fast and that Alex would break off, Steve sighed with relief when Alex suggested a phone conversation. Giving Steve his number they agreed to speak on the phone that night.
Steve was intrigued with the hint of accent when the phone was answered. Identifying himself, he asked for Alex.
"One moment, sir, who may I say is calling." the voice asked.
Steve introduced himself, saying he and a man named Alex were supposed to have a phone conversation.
"I will see if he is available." said the man.
"Ah, Steve, or is it Stephen?" Alex asked.
"The given name is Stephen but everyone calls me Steve." he said.
"My name is Alejandro Algara. I use Alex' when in AOL wrestling rooms. It stops unnecessary questions. And yes, if you are wondering, I am of Mexican/Spanish descent and am called by Alejandro' by my friends."
"Nice to meet you, Alejandro. Thank you for allowing me to call you. Please tell me more about what you were saying on line...about the kind of match you like."
"First let me explain briefly a bit of background. I am a gay man. Fitness and exercise are important to general health and wellbeing a man of middle age, it has become a daily discipline of mine, helping me to maintain vigor, stamina and a muscular physique. I found in my college years that I was particularly fond of wrestling and the opportunities it provided me to test myself against my opponents. Since then, I have sought out opportunities to continue wrestling with opponents of like mind who enjoyed combat to determine who will be the strongest, most skilled and finally who would dominate the other in the contest. The wrestling is never for a `pin' or count. Rather we grapple with breaks allowing each to tap as needed until we are mutually exhausted, mutually aroused and there is no question who is victor and who is vanquished. Do you relate to an experience of that sort, Steve?" asked Alejandro.
"Yes and I have to admit, listening to you describe that kind of bout has me hard as a pipe."
"Ah, well, it seems we may have something to share with one another. Tell me a bit about yourself if you feel it appropriate and wish to." Alejandro asked.
"Sure...I'm a twenty-four year old high school wrestling coach and PE teacher. I graduated from a college in Richmond two years ago and have wrestled since I was twelve. I guess I'm gay...shoot, yeah, I'm gay just so far in the closet that sometimes I'm not real sure who I am. Does that sound like I'm weird?" Steve asked.
"Not at all, young friend, not at all. I am fortunate enough to have enough years behind me to have developed a circle of close friends with whom I am free to be myself. To me it sounds like you simply need opportunities to act on those desires that, at times, burn strongly within you. Am I right?"
"Whew," said Steve, "on target with that, for sure."
Gently Alejandro urged Steve to continue.
"I've known I was different since I was in my early teens. Getting teased about the bulge in my singlet, especially when it was on its way to a full hard-on got embarrassing and I learned to keep my eyes up and front in the locker rooms. I have managed to keep myself under control. Of course I knew I wasn't alone. There were always guys in some state of arousal from all the contact. It's part of the game. Nothing was ever said and I was just part of the gang even through college. But so often I just felt like a spring wound tight. Not much difference now, either."
"So you maintain a persona of a straight single male, am I right? How do you manage that?" asked Alejandro.
"I've got some `friends' from school that I go and visit on weekends. That's what I tell those who press me. I allude to distance relationships and women in my life. It's a sham, I know, but I've no choice if I want to keep my job.
"Actually the trips out of town are legit. It's what I have to do to find any sexual outlet other than my hand. I don't mean to be crude. That's the way it is, though.
"I've sort of set a perimeter around Richmond that is a `no touch' zone if you get my drift. Washington, Virginia Beach even Roanoke are places I've found where I can meet people like me and relax a bit."
Alejandro responded, "Virginia Beach, how interesting. I live in Norfolk. So you don't mind traveling this far to meet someone?"
"No, Norfolk is an easy drive...uh, but we really don't know each other. Damn! Oh sorry. I'm sounding stupid. You didn't ask me to come there and...well.."
"Relax my young friend. It was an easy assumption to make and a correct one. Only I want to explore a bit more and share our mutual expectations. Is that suitable for you? Now what questions might you have for me? I would expect age would be of interest to you. But before any premature judgments are rendered may I suggest some parameters for our conversation?
"We need to explore the outcomes we might expect from an erotic wrestling match, we need to discuss current health -- any STDs, the possibility that you might be my guest should we choose to pursue this further than phone conversations. Things of that sort. Does that sound agreeable to you?" asked Alejandro.
"Sure," Steve said. "Let me start with the erotic wrestling. What I really want is to tie up with a man who can fight back...someone who is assertive, aggressive...someone who isn't looking for some young muscled guy to work him over and then `take' him, if you know what I mean. I want the guy to be able to bring the fight back to me so we can really go at it...I mean sweat, strain, trade holds, test ourselves and deal with some of the pain and strain that real wrestling requires. I'm not interested in a pin match either. I'd like to go as long as it can till we're both wiped out and one of us is just able to crawl across the other's chest and claim victory. I can't imagine we'd both be as hard as I am right now during the whole match, but heck we can always find time to finish each other off after we recover."
"So," said Alejandro, "you seek a mutual contest to determine who is on top. How do you see us, if I may use your term `finishing each other off'?"
"Alejandro, sorry that was more than vague. My rules are simple. The match needs to be good for both guys. As far as sex goes, it's got to be safe. We respect each other's needs and limits. I've got to tell you my sexual experience with guys is limited and only as a top...am I using the right terms?"
"Yes. I understand you. Does the possibility of anal sex offend you?" asked Alejandro..
"No but, well, like I said I'm just inexperienced. I'd really prefer not to do that until I knew another guy really well and was sure we were both comfortable with it ... and there's that thing about me not being on the bottom and all. I'm not ruling that out, mind you, but I just can't imagine it. I'm sure I would never try to force it on anyone. Is that something you want or expect?"
"No, certainly not expect. It is something with which I am familiar and comfortable within the confines of mutual consent and pleasure. I have experienced both giving and receiving and find that I prefer to give if my partner is too large. I apologize if that is too direct an answer."
"Not at all," replied Steve, "but I guess I'd like you to define large if that's not too personal."
"And how would one have a discussion like this without dealing with personal information? Now I don't mean to be coy but is it your intent to discuss these matters frankly?"
"Alejandro, please remember this is the first conversation like this ever for me. Yeah I guess we do need to talk about it. I guess I'll start. I'm twenty four like I said. I'm six feet tall, weigh about one-hundred seventy, am mostly smooth as far as body hair goes. I, uh, well...how much do you want me to tell you?"
"Relax my young friend, relax. You are doing just fine. Do not forget that I'm much more experienced at this and want you to be comfortable."
"Ok...well, like I was saying, I've got a seven inch dick and sorta thick. And it is just so hard right now it almost hurts!"
"Ha, and I don't mean to laugh. I'm remembering when I was your age and how I enjoyed erections almost on demand. It takes a bit of stimulation now but I am able to perform satisfactorily.
"I will share with you that I am forty eight and just under six feet weighing one-hundred eighty-five. My chest is very hairy and the remainder of my body moderately hairy. My cock is uncut and is a thick eight inches. My exercise regimen includes weight and endurance training along with stretching so that I am able to meet a man on the wrestling mats with confidence. I am well muscled with a thirty-five inch waist. My chest is thick, my abdominals strong and legs thick and corded with muscle."
"Wow! Nice package, Alejandro. Sure hope I can claim some of those attributes when I'm your age. I've got my eyes closed right now trying to image facing off with you on the mats. What gear do you like to wear?"
"I prefer a Speedo or singlet without additional support. I like to wrestle barefooted. And you, what do you like to wear and what do you see when you close your eyes and imagine us preparing for combat?"
"I've only wrestled in standard gear for so long its habit now. I think I'd enjoy the gear you suggested. I've freeballed occasionally and really enjoyed that but with my tendency to bone up, I usually suit up with a jock. As far as what I see when I close my eyes...I can see myself boning up in my singlet without a jock, enjoying the freedom to feel the muscle stretch the lycra. My arms are ready to lock up collar and elbow. I look at you and see a man who contradicts the presumption that wrestling is only for young men. I can almost feel your muscled hairy chest slamming against me. Damn, I'm hard!" repeated Steve.
"As am I young friend, as am I. It is most unusual for me to achieve erection without some physical stimulation but you have engaged me in a way that has fired my imagination. I only wish you were here with me or at least nearby so we could realize our desires together."
"Me too, dude. Me too. Gotta laugh here, Alejandro. I've got such a spot on my jeans from leakin' that is just too funny...So what would you like to do with me?"
"Let me close my eyes this time, my young friend. Ah, yes...After removing your shirt and exploring your thickly muscled chest, my face would rub against your hardening penis as I slipped off your jeans from your ankles. You would remove my shirt and tie, my trousers and by briefs. You would let your nose graze the muscle and feel its heat. We would step into our Speedos and mount the mat. Circling, we would look deeply into each other's eyes measuring the passion, and the will to win, all the while anticipating the pleasure to follow.
"I see us in various holds, our bodies grinding against each other, our muscles taut as our chests press together. I imagine you in a bear hug, your legs wrapped around mine, the palms of your hands pressing against my pectorals, your back arched and the veins in your neck distended from the strain. Does this sound pleasurable to you, my young friend?"
"Alejandro...(gasp) if I touch myself right now I'm gonna explode and shoot cum all over my chest. I slipped my jeans off a few minutes ago. So ready... I'm so ready to cum. Problem is that I want to share it with you...not just here on the phone. I'd like to be there, where ever it is that you wrestle...naked, hard, rubbing and shooting my load as you shoot yours.
"I am so damn close, you can't image."
"Young friend, I would encourage you to enjoy the pleasure that tempts you but fear that it would end our conversation and I would lose of any chance of our meeting. I share your desire to find release together, here or there, it matters not. Is that something you would consider?"
"YES! But I can't do anything here. I'd have to come to you, to Norfolk. How would that work?"
"Very simply, my friend. I can arrange for a room at a comfortable hotel near my home. You will be my guest there and all arrangements will be made before you arrive. We can meet in the hotel for a meal or a drink and chat further. It will hopefully ease any awkwardness that either of us may have. When we are ready we will come to my home and enjoy the opportunity to realize the moments we've only imagined this evening.
"Does that sound reasonable to you?"
"Meeting at the hotel is good. I can't let you pay for it though. Really." said Steve.
"Please, my friend let me do this. I am not, like you, at the beginning of a career. I am more than financially secure. It would only add to my pleasure to provide hospitality. You will be under no obligation, I assure you. Your candor and interest flatter me though I'm sure that is not your intent. In what way can I further encourage you?
"Be reassured that any discomfort or second thoughts you may feel after you have arrived will be honored. You will owe me nothing. If all we share is a meal and an opportunity to meet in person, it will be enough for me. What more can I say?"
"Ok, ok, Alejandro. This is just so different from anything I've done. It's not a matter of trust or anything...just different. What do I need to do?"
"When are you free to visit? I'm sure you will think I am pressing you, but tomorrow would not be too soon for me. I jest, but the soonest you can make arrangements to drive down, I will welcome you."
"I, uh..., yeah why not? I can come tomorrow, if you are serious."
"Splendid, splendid! I will make arrangements at the Sheraton Waterside. Do you need directions?"
"I've been to Waterside before and know where the hotel is. What time should I arrive?"
"Let's plan on a light lunch, my friend. That way we can take our time in becoming better acquainted. Again, I assure you, if either of us chooses not to pursue this further, I will bid you a good afternoon and hope that you will enjoy the hospitality of the hotel."
"I'm Ok with this, Alejandro. Really I am. So what do I need to do? Do I just check in at the hotel and go to my room and wait?"
"Yes, all you will need to do is announce yourself. They will be expecting you. The manager will be alerted and will show you to your room. Any refreshment you desire, all meals, all gratuities will be billed to my account. Take time to rest from your drive and I will plan to meet you in the dining room at, say, 1 p.m. Will that be acceptable?"
"Alejandro, I almost can't believe I'm going to do this but I am. Look for me tomorrow and I'll bring my Speedo.