Archive-name: toaster-poem
erotic toaster poem
by jeff vogel
in masturbatory glee
the other night
i put my penis in everything in sight
banana peels were fun
but to my dismay
in the disk drive my cock would just not stay
drains were good
the keyhole better
and the ice tray kept getting wetter and wetter
and not to seem
and awful boaster
but then i had sex with the toaster
down went the plunger
and in went my meat
it felt really groovy when i turned up the heat
i thrust even deeper
and pressed my attack
i pushed in a bagel for a post-coital snack
but in case you think
this poem is to amuse
as my toes started curling well, out blew a fuse
the shock singed my penis
and forced out my breath
i write this while i pray for sweet and kind death
the end
- Jeff Vogel
Copyright 1993
All rights reserved.
No public readings of this poem
permitted, without prior written
permission of the poet.
BTW, GE toasters have great springs.