Training Billy -- chapter 1 -- MY SON'S BEST FRIEND.
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Read a story of beggars which, for a change, is not a tragedy. It is love, friendship, beauty, liberty and happiness the faces of life which are shown here. You can read my trilogy either in Spanish, Luces de la Tierra, in www.luces-delatierra.blogspot.com.es or in English, Lights of the Earth in www.lightsoftheearth.blogspot.com.es
Billy left us diplomatically alone. We have been having lunch together, me, my son and his best friend, William Halley, whom I wanted to meet. He had a perfect excuse to leave since he worked from Monday to Friday cooking for his grandfather, Douglas Sinclair, my father. He was long widowed and Billy prepared his meals, and those five days even made some cleaning and some repairs, which were very useful for my father. And he got a good salary from my father, which was useful for Billy for his university years. On Saturdays and Sundays he only cooked for him, but William did not know this and saying he had to go to work Billy left me alone then with his best friend, which is something I had asked him.
William had agreed to stay, intuiting I wanted to talk to him. He was nervous but accepted me a coffee as I had told him I wanted to talk to him. Billy and William had always been schoolmates since their primary education and now, both of them 21, were mates at college since they had both wanted to study Spanish Philology and shared a student flat in the town. But I had never before met William Halley and it was vital for me to know him.
-I would like to have a man to man conversation with you, William.
-Yes, sir.
-You can call me Brian, please.
-Ok, Brian. Tell me.
-You have always been my son's best friend and have shared many things with Billy and I must start by saying I really appreciate that.
-I do appreciate Billy. He's a wonderful boy and really intelligent and affectionate. You can be sure I will always be his friend.
-Well, that's what I want to be sure about. You know, William, since Thelma, my wife, died, I have only lived for him and later you will hear things from me that you may think are not the more suitable things for a parent to say. But I love him, and I want his happiness and if I have to be unorthodox, I will.
-Tell me, Brian.
-The first time I heard your name Billy was seven years old. He came home one day full of scars and bruises. I asked him what had happened to him and he told me it had been his best friend, William Halley, who had beaten him up. Immediately I told him that I wanted to talk to you and... well, I admit I didn't know what I would have done to you. But it was Billy who told me.
-Don't do anything, dad, please. He's my best friend and he really appreciates me. This has no importance, believe me. William's sweet with me.
-Sorry, Brian, but do you want me to admit that I beat Billy?
-You can take your time, William, but no use denying me that fact. If you want to admit it later, perfect. But you can do whatever you desire. Meanwhile we will keep on having our coffee and talking as if we were two good buddies. Can I go on?
-Please, Brian.
-Well, from that day on I constantly heard your name. You were a bully for him and beat him scarcely but you kept on beating him sometimes. And you got used to insulting him and humiliating him. Billy and I have never had any secrets for each other and he often told me all that but he repeated you were his best friend and I did not know what to do, whether talking to you would be the best option. But one day when he was 13 years old he came home and I could see clearly somebody had beaten him to a pulp. When I asked him, as I suspected he told me it had been his friend William. Now I was talking to Billy clearly infuriated at you and telling him now I had to do something, for this situation could not be prolonged. And then he told me.
-Dad, I don't know what you will think of me when I tell you, but please don't do anything: I am a masochist.
-Billy's a masochist? Oh, Billy --William said that with perceptible tears in his eyes. He was moved.
-You had no suspicion?
-I sometimes suspected something like that, Brian, for Billy admitted well everything I did to him. And ok, I will admit now that I often beat him. But I like him a lot. You must believe me, Brian. And now that I have said this, I understand that you won't like to talk to me again. I'll leave you now.
And he stood up but I did not let him go.
-William please, return. You haven't finished your coffee and we are talking like friends. I am not gonna reproach you. Please sit down.
-Ok, but I will understand that you are mad at me later.
-Do you remember my former words saying that I want Billy's happiness and I am unorthodox? Well, you will see it now. Of course what I, as any good parent, should do is send you to hell. But I want to repeat that Billy is the one I love most in this world and I want his happiness. I don't care he is a masochist. What's the use of not accepting your son the way he is? But since he actually is a masochist, I will never ask you to stop beating Billy. Or humiliating him or saying ugly words to him. In fact I am gonna ask you just the opposite because I am thinking of Billy's happiness. So William I want to ask you to keep on beating him but...
-But...?
-But you've always had common sense so far and I want you to keep on having it. Beat him, give him pain, for he likes it, give him scars and bruises but do it as you have done so far: never break a bone of his body or things will really turn serious between you and I and I would have to punish you. Meanwhile please keep on giving him what he wants. What do you think of me now?
-I can hardly talk, Brian. I am moved. I can assure you I will never break a bone of his body. But now that I know that Billy is a masochist I like him more. And I think Brian Sinclair is the best of parents. I am so moved that now I don't know whether I will be capable of hurting Billy.
-We both want his happiness. So I say again: please, William, always give my son what he needs.
-I promise I will always take care of him --he spoke then with real tears in his eyes-. But if you ever hear that I have gone too far, you will have the right to punish me, Brian, the way you choose. I will have deserved it.
-Ok, and now let us talk about the incident of the comet.
-Oh, my God, you also know that?
-I tell you again Billy and I always talk as good friends and he tells me everything. He knows I will like him whatever he is and I like the fact that he is a masochist.
-Tell me --I perceived clearly that William was frightened now, knowing where the incident of the comet had led to. But I had to go on.
-I hope you understand that your surname leads many people to make easy jokes, but that day Billy was not joking. He told me that you were often slow in your studies but always passed your exams. And one day he was talking to one of your schoolmates and casually he told him you were like Comet Halley, slow but sure to achieve always its goal and come to Earth once and again. That was all, a simple comment, but it seems that everybody started then calling you the comet, isn't it?
-Simple as that, Brian. I know Billy never had any intention to give me a derisive nickname but the fact is that after that day I began to be known by everybody as the comet. And finally I knew it had been Billy. I was infuriated and told him we should go jogging again to the river, something we usually did. You know also what I did later?
-In fact, I do, William. And I want to talk to you about it, because what happened that day made Billy able to reveal a secret. Again I will tell you something that no parent should tell about his son. You may think I am betraying his confidence but I think you are a sweet boy, no matter what I am gonna tell you now, and I want to corroborate it. This is the time for me to know if you are a good friend for Billy after all and for you to show me whether you are man enough or not. Well, I think you do not know that Billy is gay.
William's reaction then was breaking down completely. He did start to cry his eyes out in my presence but finally talked.
-Billy is gay? Oh Billy, how I like you --and addressing me now, he said-. You can have the certainty, Brian Sinclair, that I will always respect everything he is. Now I like him more and respect him more. But I also have to fess up something. Nobody knows this. In fact it will be the first time I say this, except to some men; later I will tell you. But my parents know nothing and not even Billy. I always feared his reaction. However, the time has come for me to say it. Brian, I am gay myself.
-That's wonderful to know, William.
-Brian, you can be sure of something. I really like Billy. If you ask me to beat him or humiliate him, I probably will. I may have a sadistic streak in me and that's why but I will never punish him for his sexual orientation, of course. That's something nobody should punish and you have a solemn promise from me.
-I see that you are a wonderful boy after all, William Halley. Now I am more certain that you are a good friend for Billy. Can I ask you, hope there's no offense, if you have already had sex?
-Sometimes I have actually. And the boys I've had sex with are the only ones who know I am gay.
-Something more intimate now. You can answer or not, as you prefer. Does Billy turn you on?
-A lot, Brian --he answered still unsure that I would understand him-. Ever since I discovered I was gay I have been aroused at Billy's body and well, if you don't mind me saying so...
-Tell me, William.
-Well, I cannot help it and I often wank over him. Now you know.
-I'd like you to be my friend just as you are Billy's friend. Soon you will learn that with me you can talk about everything. And one more thing: have you thought of telling my son all this?
-Now I probably will, Brian. Oh, my God, what is it with the Sinclair family? You are an open-minded man.
-You too, William. Can I talk to you now about what happened that day near the river?
He shrugged his shoulders and sighed but told me I could.
-Well, that day you spent half an hour jogging but Billy told me that before jogging you already stank. Don't blush, William. He tells me you often smell but he likes the way you smell. In fact I was expecting you today with some smell. And nothing to be ashamed about: after Thelma's death I'm afraid I started to neglect myself and I have very few showers and always stink, also now.
-Well, Brian, today I knew I was invited to lunch with Billy's father and I have washed thoroughly. But it is true I often stink. Well, I like the smell of unwashed men so much that I don't often have showers.
-Well now I will go on with the incident of that day by the river. When he came home that night he told me something.
-Dad, I desire to tell you what has happened to me today. My friend William has gone mad but what he has done I have certainly enjoyed.
-Tell me everything, Billy. No need to be ashamed.
-Well, dad, after jogging for half an hour he stopped me near the river, saying he wanted to take a break. I did not like the place where he had chosen to stop because it stank of horse shit but then he started to talk to me.
-So now, Billy, I have started to be known as the comet and it's all because of you.
-Please, don't be angry, William. I had no intention to embarrass you.
-But you know I have to punish you for that, don't you?
-I want to be your best friend again, so ok, you can beat me. However innocently, I know I have deserved it.
-I won't beat you now. It is a quite different punishment. And you'd better do as I tell you, or I'll beat you to a pulp today.
-Ok, tell me.
-You see this heap of horse shit? You must first take off all your clothes, cause I want you embarrassed, as I have felt today. It is a punishment you will never forget. Not only will you strip of everything. Once you are naked you will kneel here, sniff the horse shit and you will eat it. That's the punishment.
-Ok, William. I see I have no chance. I will do it for I want us to always be good friends.
But it was me then who asked William.
-You wanted to see Billy naked, didn't you?
He was blushing but told me.
-I will have no secrets with you, Brian. Ever since I knew I was gay I was certainly attracted to your son's body. So yes, I wanted to see his nudity, an image I have never forgotten and it's been the usual fodder for my masturbations ever since.
-Good, you're brave. Well, I will go on: Billy told me that day that he had never before been naked in front of a boy and was embarrassed because he was hard. Remember that he likes you and he would get naked for the boy he lusts for. But finally he had no more chance than showing you his boner and he went totally red.
-So far so good, Billy. Now turn so I can see your ass also --and he turned and you saw his ass-. You seem to be enjoying the punishment cause you are hard. Now be a good boy and do as I have told you. Kneel on the floor and start sniffing that horse shit.
He told me then that the smell of the horse shit was really repulsive and he sensed that it was gonna be for him an ordeal to eat it. But he knew well he had no more chance and started eating. He told me that you were not jacking off then but he knew that you were hard and he would do anything to keep you hard. He ate it all, after which you told him that the punishment was over.
-Good boy, Billy. Now we will swim naked together in the river for a while.
And then you took your clothes off too and you swam naked with my son for a quarter of an hour. Billy told me it was impossible for him to hide his erection but at least you made no comment. And you were hard too; now I understand.
-I loved watching him erect, the only time I've seen naked that hot boy, your son. So I was hard too, of course. Now I think it was a tender thing: both boys hard with each other but neither of us knowing we lusted for each other.
-Billy would tell me something more. He told me that the whole horse shit incident had been a life changing experience for him, that after today he would do anything to see pleasure in a boy's eyes, especially in yours. And he told me something more. He told me that he would also gladly eat your shit. He asked me if I was ashamed of my son now, but I hugged him and told him he was my pride and joy. Ever since that day, believe it or not, we have often talked about that day, and his desire to even swallow your shit. So William, I will be unorthodox again and will ask you please to let Billy one day taste your crap.
-Oh, my God, Brian. I cannot tell you how much I like my best friend's father now. Billy will always be in good hands with you.
-But there was something more. And telling you this will finally confirm me whether you are a good friend for Billy or not. I will tell you one other of his secrets. I have to be sure that you will never betray my son's feelings. He told me that after that day he had no doubt: he is in love with you, Brian.
-Oh, Billy --and he could say no more for a long while, tears spilling and making his face wet and he sobbed and I saw him shaking so violently that I thought he was having a heart attack or something. I also noticed that a big stain was spreading on his pants so I asked him.
-Have you creamed your pants?
-I have, hope you don't mind but I never expected Billy loved me.
And he was able to tell me more things.
-You don't know how grateful I am to you for this conversation, Brian. But it has been years that I have loved Billy, deeply and always secretly. I love him, Brian, I do, believe me. He's my life. I will always do anything to make him happy.
-William --and I held his hand in mine then-, you are a perfect friend for Billy, now I know and you are more than my expectations about you could have guessed. Talk about love and everything for each other, please. Both of you could be so happy.
-I will.
-And he also told me that since he was a masochist and he loves you, he often dreamt with the possibility of becoming one day your slave.
-I've never had a slave but often thought about that chance and believed I would really like it. But tell me the truth, Brian, please. What would you think if your son, your own son, for Christ's sake, became my slave?
-I repeat, William. I really love my son. I like him just as he is. He is gay, loves you, he is a masochist and also needs a master. Being your slave would be a dream for him. You can humiliate him, sometimes beat him, order him to please you sexually and sometimes something more extreme, as ordering him to eat your crap. And you will never lose your mind. I am starting to know you and I like seeing you wanting to make Billy happy just as he is and since I want his happiness and you love each other you could also have a master and slave relationship. And you could have sex in this house. You could also do it before me; I will not get shocked for that. But you could also have sex or more in his room.
-I will have to think about it, Brian. All I can tell you is I am starting to get really fond of you. I also promise Billy will never suffer with me and whether I make him my slave or not, I will make that boy happy. I loved Billy, but oh my God, how I love him now.
-Good, and I still have to talk to you about one other conversation we had when he was eighteen. But now I know that you will get shocked at nothing.
-Tell me, Brian.
-It all started a day when he was already 19. We were having lunch and with his straightforward way to tell me everything he suddenly said.
-Dad, I think you should have a shower.
-Sorry, Billy. I know I stink and you must feel uncomfortable. I apologize.
-It's not that, Dad. No --he said then-, I'd better tell you nothing. I know we can talk about everything but if I tell you this you will hate me so much that you will kick me out of your house.
-My God, Billy, why on Earth do you think that, my son? You know daddy loves you just as you are and you can tell me everything.
And really blushing and taking deep intakes of breath, he finally mustered the courage to tell me.
-I think we'd better stop talking about sex, dad. What I am feeling is not natural. But I can't let you think that your smell makes me uncomfortable. Just the opposite, dad --he said that, going totally red-. You know I love William's smell and you smell just like him. Oh, dad, forgive me, but I have been even wanking over you for a couple of years and --and he couldn't go on, weeping a lot now, fearing that I would really get angry at him. So I stood up, went to him and asked him to hug me.
-Shhh, Billy, hug me strong, my dear son. You know I like you just as you are. I have accepted you are gay; that's never been a problem for me. I have accepted you are a masochist, the fact that you love William, you would like to eat his shit and you would like to be his slave. Billy, you are the best son a man could have. I'm overjoyed to have you. I could never have imagined that you could also lust for me, but since it is like that, I also accept it. We are the best of friends and believe me, sonny, we will always be. So after now you can even talk of your lust for me.
-But dad, can't you see that I would also like to be your slave; I would like you to beat me and so on and even eat your shit?
-Don't ever ask me to beat you, Billy, please not that. But always feel comfortable with everything you feel, understood? And after now whenever you want to tell me your feelings for me, you will, ok? And one other thing: I know you love William. Tell me, Billy, do you also love me?
-No, dad, as for love I think I am a man who can only be in love with one person at a time and I feel I will love William till the day I die. But I wank over you, now you know. And forgive me if I have also pictured myself as your slave.
I understood then that Billy really needed me, and I will do, as I have told you, anything for my son's happiness. He wanted me to be his master and I have always been sure that I will never desire that. But his need to have a master one day is strong, as strong as his love for you or his lust for me. And I wanted him to utter whatever lust he felt for me naturally and never thinking that his father would reproach him. I wanted him comfortable, looking up to me as his friend whom he could always tell whatever secret his heart had. I thought I had no more chance than start training Billy.