THIRTY-FIVE
Days later, sitting in a boring class he'll probably drop, Derek is recalling that night when he was standing there watching Toby naked outside, crouched down and pissing through its cage and what it felt like. How much he loves that boy being creatively humiliated out there on the grass! How much he loves that that boy is totally devoted to him and sees him as some kind of hero. Hero, indeed. Not quite. Most of the time Derek feels like the villain. That's what they always said to him in high school: Derek the user of bodies and breaker of hearts, Derek the restless faggot, Derek the marauder. Derek with hypnotic eyes so don't look him in the eye ever." Do you realize how awful that must have been, day in and day out at school and no one dared look into his eyes or directly at him, ever? But it was true. He had been all those things.
He even tried with a girl once or twice, but couldn't be dominant with them. Derek was so damn good-looking that every high school boy curious about his sexuality got fixated on him begging him to help the lost sub be able to figure things out. No better way, Derek would say that, "By giving me a blow job and finding out what it's like, and I'm gonna cum in your mouth. You can spit it out or swallow. But if you swallow, you might be getting into some trouble, if you know what I mean, faggot."
All that said in a way that would turn the twink on, and all it took was a little pressure to get the boy to fall to his knees before him. Derek was very gentle, helpful and encouraging. The boys quickly became eager to please Derek so that Derek would let them come back again. And yes, of course they swallowed, closing their eyes. Afterwards Derek would tell the boys what they needed to hear.
Now everything is different. Toby isn't like those other guys. Toby is precious to him, so often looking like a sad pup in a kennel who just fell in love with the man who is staring at him, hoping to be rescued. And those lips? They could wear a sign from the boy's chin that would say "Entrance to heaven." Oh, how much he loves him! How much he loves running his hand in the boy's hair and the boy starts slightly vibrating (or is it trembling?) and how much he wishes he could protect the boy from anything seeking to harm him. But yet . . . yet . . . he was doing everything he told himself he wouldn't do when he started college . . . except . . . it's not the same thing. It's different. This boy is too good, too loveable, too needy to be loved.
Derek can quickly understand now that love means different things to different people even though he's barely been around the block and the only male he had ever fallen in love with was his Math teacher and they had some good months together before it turned bad and the teacher left the school in the middle of the marking period without telling Derek (!!!) And now?
Derek looks at Toby now, sitting at his desk, turning towards Derek with that face that makes Derek want to adopt him more than he wants to marry him, but that's getting far too far ahead. And shortly after they first meet Derek finds out that Toby is a masochistic submissive there for the taking. All he has to do is wrap his hands around the boy's warm neck and he gets the most overpowering urge he's ever had to possess this boy, whatever it takes. It didn't take long before they became more than roommates, more than friends, more than . . . what?
It all happened so quickly. Only months after they first met, Toby has become his slave. At home, of course, Toby just acts like his best friend, and even Derek's parents fall in love with him and instinctively realize there's something special happening between the two boys. Damn, after only hearing Derek talk about Toby a couple times, Cindy quickly decided to replace Derek's bunkbeds with a king mattress so they could sleep together, . . . . "if they want."
And now they're in their own little cottage; Cindy's been pulling a lot of strings. They're still keeping their room in the dorm for the rest of the school year. Toby the exhibitionist walks around the dorm naked, caged and collared, much to Derek's delight. Derek has been unusually tender with Toby this first week of classes; Toby is still sore and a bit wounded from his time with Uncle Harry. No wonder. The boy was virtually neglected by his parents, and all those years the only affectionate and affirming person in his life, the only person who ever really took an interest in him, was Uncle Harry. And now Uncle Harry has abruptly turned all of that off. Derek can't even begin to imagine how much that hurt the boy.
Derek has been showering the boy with affection and he feels like it is getting sucked into a dark hole of need. Derek deliberately is pushing the envelope as well because this might also help. Tonight, in fact, Pierce is coming over and Toby will suck him off like Derek had promised him. Derek let Pierce know that he'd be watching and Pierce was cool with that. After all, it isn't the first time that Toby had been sucking dicks. Just the first time that toby is sucking the dick of the man his Master chose, sucking as a slave, not just an ordinary boy. Wow, thinks Derek. Things are so hot lately.
He's snapped back to reality when he realizes that people around him are getting up to leave. He turns to his friend Gareth and asks if he missed anything important. "Dunno," answers Gareth, "I tuned out after the first ten minutes." "Oh shit, you too!" exclaims Derek and they both crack up. "Gonna drop this beast," says Gareth. "Ditto." "Whadduya plan to take to replace it?" asks Gareth. Derek thinks for a little then shakes his head yes and says, "Parenting."
"No shit! Don't tell my you guys are already talking about having kids," he asks confusedly.
"Not at all. I'm just curious, that's why. I suspect it might have something to say about dealing with people in general," he replies, thinking specifically of Toby. After all, isn't a Master a kind of parent? Even if the slave is almost the same age?"
Gareth suddenly stops right there near the front door of the building. He cracks up a bit then turns to Derek with an evil smile on his face and says, "Damn, Derek, you're not fooling me one bit. You're thinking it might teach you something about how to handle Toby!" "SSHHH!!!" says Derek, his fingers across his lips but not hiding a big smile. Gareth doesn't stop. "Of course, with you going to all that trouble, sometimes I have to ask myself, who is actually the slave in this twosome?" "Sometimes I wonder the same thing myself," answers Derek, patting Gareth on the back as they head off in different directions.
Derek heads to a campus café and gets two cups of coffee to bring back to the dorm in case Toby's there. As it turns out, he is, temptingly naked and lying on his bed sound asleep. But when Derek opens the door, the sound wakes the boy up and he quickly sits up with a sleepy smile on his face. "I need to buy a few books," Toby tells Derek. "Give me your list. I have go myself. I'll get all of them. Do you have anything you have to get done? "No. I . . . I'll just rest more. I'm really tired for some reason."
"That's because I didn't fuck you last night, sweetie. You need my cock, boy, more than you ever realized."
Toby grimaces. "I didn't sleep well last night. I mean, I did sleep all night, but I kept dreaming about Uncle Harry and I cried a couple times." Derek goes right over him and puts his arm around him. "Oh baby, you could've woke me up. I would have wrapped you in my arms and kept the bad dreams away."
"As if you could," replies Toby, somewhat unsure that would do the trick. "Well then that's how we'll sleep tonight. And I'll warm up your ass a bit with my paddle so I can feel its warmth when I spoon you." Toby perks up.
Derek stays next to Toby. "Do you wanna tell me about the dreams?" he asks. "Just one, Derek. Uncle Harry was standing at the back of a train like a politician waving goodbye as the train moved away. Sometimes it just feels like that's what happened.
"Or maybe it's something you need to have happen, for all of it to just go away for a while. Maybe the dream is telling you it's okay. It happened and you're okay. And you said that Uncle Harry looked like a politician. Most politicians are not to be trusted. Maybe the dream is showing you that you can no longer trust him now that he's pulling out of your former way of life."
"Well thank you very much for that, Dr. Freud! I think you're right on the mark with everything you said, especially about Uncle Harry not being trustworthy any longer.
"Brat! And for calling me Dr. Freud," Derek says as he loops his arm around Toby and the slave ends up over his knees and Derek fun spanks its ass while it hollers out. Suddenly there's a knock on the door. "Just a minute!" says Derek who helps Toby up and then opens the door. It's Orson.
"Already the brat has to get spanked?" asks Orson, looking around. "Hey, I heard you were moving off campus."
"We have," answers Derek, but we're keeping this room too. Mom paid for it. Makes it easier for us during the day. Besides, you never know when this faggot needs some discipline or a cock to suck."
"Speaking of which," says Orson, running his hand over his crotch.
"Pierce is first."
"I know. He told me. Tonight. I should come over too and get in line." Derek laughs, but looks at Toby and thinks it might be too much. "Soon, Orson, but not tonight. Some afternoon here maybe."
"Okay, dude. I'll be patient. So are you gonna keep spanking the slave now? Can I watch?"
Derek raps HIM on the butt. "So eager. Why don't you go and get your own?" he asks.
"Tell me where . . . is there a directory of subs I can look over?"
"Not yet, but that's a great idea. Maybe I'll have Toby take that up as a work project."
"I'll be glad to help," says Orson jokingly.
"You'll probably want to sample all the merchandise," Derek replies.
"Toby, get down on the floor, boy. Why are you just standing there?" Toby drops to the floor, crawls over, and starts rubbing his head in Orson's crotch. Orson says "good boy," and rubs himself against Toby's face. "Don't get him too worked up, slave. He's leaving soon because now I want a bj!"
"I thought you were going to the bookstore," says Toby as Orson leaves and closes the door behind him.
"Do you have another class today?"
"Yes, in about half an hour."
"Then come right home after class. I'll bring home a pizza when I get finished."
"Oh great. Thank you, Sir."
"That pizza won't be all you'll be eating tonight, boy." Toby smiles and bends down to kiss his sneakers. Derek runs his hand through Toby's hair and says, "good boy. Have a nice class." He leaves and heads to the bookstore. There's always a long line the first week of school but Derek doesn't mind. A number of his friends are there, including Pierce, who talks to him about what's going to happen later. Derek gives him the address to put into his GPS. He also sees Matty and Vic and they get into a conversation about what happened to Toby with his Uncle Harry. "That's fucking cold. Cruel. The poor kid must be heartbroken," says Vic. Matty agrees. "I never expected any subs I got with to break things off with their families. Shit. That's sick. Any way you could get to that guy and try to reason with him?"
"I intend to, but haven't been able to reach him yet. Meanwhile, I've got a boyfriend who keeps waking up in the middle of the night crying. All I can do is hold him. I can't do anything to take away the pain. And it's not the good kind of pain, that's for sure."
"I hope you're relaxing protocols," says Vic. "It doesn't seem like the boy would be in any mood to play the usual games right now. Sometimes things happen which are far more important than any scene we ever dream up. Same thing happened to me with the last guy I was seeing. A close relative of his died and it really hit him hard. I went from playing Master to playing cuddly boyfriend until he was finally ready to play again."
"The important word there was play," Derek says. "Sometimes people forget that we're only playing at this stuff. There are a lot of things that are a hell of a lot more important and when you're serious about having a real relationship you've got to pay more attention to those things."
"You know," adds Matt, "that's why a lot of Doms are only scene-players and rarely get with any guy more than once. They don't want the commitment and all the sacrifices it demands. Basically they're just a bunch of narcissists and hardly even view their subs as real people."
"Been there, done that," says Derek, "and to tell the truth I'm not very proud of how I used to act towards kids in school who wanted to suck my dick. Cumdumps, that's how I treated them."
"I fucking hate that word," says Matt. "Cumdump."
"Why?" asks Derek.
"Because it's demeaning. It objectifies the sub."
"But a lot of subs want to objectified," adds Vic. "I've met more than one sub like that, so hell-driven to be treated like a possession that they never give you a chance to know the real person. It's a way of hiding yourself from others while pretending you're having an intimate encounter with the Dom. It's all bullshit. Immature for sure."
"Walk around any BDSM club and you'll see a lot of that," says Matt.
"Hell, I guess you'd find the same thing in straight clubs as well. Kind of depressing if you ask me."
It's almost Derek's turn in line. "You know guys, I'm really impressed with the way you think about these things. You're the type of guys I'd like Toby to get to know. I think it would do him so good, especially now when that uncle he looked up to so much has just done exactly what you're talking about Objectifying him. It doesn't make any sense why he decided to act like that."
"Hey, man, if there's anything we can do to help, just give us a call."
They exchange contact information and Derek makes arrangements for the three of them to have dinner together some night soon. He hands the staff person the list of books he needs to by and before long he's on his way to pick up a pizza to bring home.
Thanks for all the emails and the stories you share with me. Please keep writing me. Emails are my reward for writing.
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Other Stories of Mine: The Alex Chronicles Sweet Subjugation Tommy Loves His Sub
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