This is a continuation of a story based on my mission experiences in France and Belgium in the early 1970s. Though many of the situation and circumstances are true, much of the story is fiction or a fantasy of what I would have liked it to be.
Gary
-------------------------------- Part X - A Day and A Night in Brussels
By the time we arrived at the Chapel, it looked like the entire mission had arrived. Over 200 Elders and sisters filled the seats of the Chapel and into the overflow area. In Brussels, the Chapel filled the needs of 3 branches each delineated by language. There was a fairly large and substantial Flemish Branch, a smaller and struggling French Branch and a transitory English Branch. The building was large and included a full set of offices, classrooms and a gym with basketball standards! The Brussels District Relief Society was busy in the kitchen fixing lunch for the 200 missionaries as well as the visiting dignitaries including Apostle Boyd K. Packer.
For the first half of the morning, I sat next to Elder Dislaire from Rouen, France. He did not speak English and the President thought my French was good enough to translate for him. It was the first time I'd ever translated simultaneously as someone spoke. That was far more difficult than I ever imagined. The religious stuff was easy but when one of the Zone Leaders started to talk about his life on a farm in Grace, Idaho, my vocabulary failed me big time. I mean, how do you translate "We took our peashooters behind the schoolyard and took pot shots at Mrs. Gray who swatted them away like so many horse flies." I tried but a lot was lost in the translation!
All the time we had speakers for the conference, Elders were being taken row by row into the back part of the building for their interview with Boyd K. Packer. Apostle Packer didn't spend a lot of time with each one, apparently, for the row returned and a new one was taken back about every 10 minutes. It was getting close to my row. By that time, Elder M and I were sitting together taking notes about the conference. When the Assistant indicated it was time for our row to go back, we left our stuff on the seat and walked back in as dignified a manner as possible. I was racking my brain with what I would say to an Apostle of the Lord. What if he saw through me and discovered my secret feelings for my companion? What if he called me a homo and made me go home. My mind was filled with a lot of fear as I waited patiently for my turn.
Finally, Elder M was called in and I was next in line. I knew he'd pass without any problems. He truly is a man without gall and would probably be a general authority some day himself. Each Elder had taken about 2 minutes inside the office where Elder Packer was. No one took longer or shorter. Two minutes after Elder M walked into the office, he walked out. He looked at me and winked with a smile. I didn't have a clue as to what that meant! Anyway, it was my turn. I girded up my loins, blanked out all the bad thoughts in my mind and walked in as angelically as I possibly could.
Elder Packer was sitting behind a small desk with a pen and paper pad in front of him. That was all there was on the desk. He stood up and shook my hand, asked me where I was from and how long I had been on my mission. His portly frame seemed to fill the room. I answered his questions from rote memory. He then said be seated and showed me a chair in front of the desk. He had yet to smile. I sat down and waited. Elder Packer returned to his chair, sat down and cleared his throat. Oh boy, I thought to myself, here comes the revelation that will send me directly to Outer Darkness, do not pass Go, do not collect any blessings. I could not have been more surprised at the question he asked.
"Elder Roark, do you masturbate?" He stared me straight in the eye and waited for my answer.
Of course, after the events of this morning, I had a problem. He had caught me. I didn't really masturbate. Someone did it for me. And I'd been good for over a year. I wondered if he could tell I wasn't wearing the garment which was still fermenting in the bottom of my overcoat pocket. Do I tell him about what Elder Peters did to me? Do I confess that I helped him do it? Should I tell him that I fantasized about my companion every night but somehow kept from "stroking the ol' stem" (a favorite term of my Bishop)? All of these thoughts raced through my mind in a matter of 3 seconds.
"No, Elder Packer, I do not." I stared him straight back in his eye hoping beyond hope he wouldn't receive a revelation and call out the guards.
"Fine," he responded still without a smile. Elder Packer then stood up, held out his hand and said, "Keep up the good work."
I shook his hand, turned around and walked out telling the next person it was his turn on the hot seat. I felt like I had passed by the pearly gates under an invisible cloak. Where was his inspiration? Surely, he saw right through me. I thanked my Heavenly Father for letting me get away with that one and went back out to the Chapel to rejoin my comp.
"What did he ask you," Elder M whispered quietly?
"He asked me if I jacked off. You?"
"Same thing. He scared the crap out of me. What did you say?"
"What do you think I said, Elder. I said no, of course. What did you say?"
Elder M chuckled and said, "I wanted to tell him that I take it out every morning and every night and jack off thinking of him but my better judgment prevailed. Imagine wasting the time of every missionary in the mission with some perverted interest in whether or not we spanked the monkey!" With that, his attention returned to the speaker and I was left to nod in total agreement.
It was now time for Elder M and I to go up to the stand and make our presentation. Elder M asked me to present the idea that success in missionary work was dependent upon successful preparation of our daily tasks. I talked about our routines in the morning and when we returned (leaving out the wrestling) and talked about constant preparation through study and lesson memorization. I really didn't have much to say because I wasn't too convinced it had a lot to do with out success.
Then Elder M stood up and talked about the Savior and his relationship with His disciples. He talked about how they spent 3 years working closely together. They slept on the ground together, looked for food together, prayed with each other and taught the principles of the gospel together. Their relationship was one of interdependence not independence. He read from the scriptures stories of different experiences they went through together like crossing the Sea of Galilee in a raging torment or passing out the loaves and the fishes - together. And during the last night of agony for the Savior, the 11 of them were there together, somehow trying to understand the majesty of what was happening. He then quoted from the Pastoral Prayer in Luke where Jesus prayed that the disciples would be one even as He and His Father are one. Elder M then looked out into the audience and asked the missionaries to imagine how intimately Jesus and His Father knew each other, how they trusted each other, how the deeply loved each other. Elder M told us that this was the model we should have for each companionship in order to have true success. Elder M then asked me to stand next to him and he said the following, "What small accomplishment we have had over the past couple of months isn't because we have a secret formula or door approach or are more spiritual or know the scriptures better than the rest of you. It is the result of one thing only. Elder Roark and I work as one. We take seriously the prayer of the Savior to be one even as He is with His Father. We pray hard together. We play hard together. We approach each door not like it was the other's responsibility and we can turn away but like it needed our faith and hope as well. We want the people to know that here are two young missionaries that love each other as the Savior loved his disciples." Elder M put his arm around my shoulder. "I want you to know that I love Elder Roark as my brother. And I know he loves me. There is no guile in
our relationship. We work everyday to maintain that level of devotion to each other so that we may be better devoted to the Savior and His children. We truly work as one."
The congregation was very quiet. Rarely do you hear someone talk about loving another man without putting the ever present "and appreciate" behind the word love. Elder M was nearly in tears because he felt so strongly the strength of his message. I loved him even more for this public expression of personal devotion to me and our relationship. Tears also came to my eyes as we sat down. I shook Elder M's hand and put my hand on his thigh giving him a loving squeeze in a way that meant so much more than the same gesture Elder Peters gave me 12 hours before.
The day's conference came to a break for dinner then, after dinner, we all gathered for a testimony meeting that was at once powerful and meaningful. Several Elders talked about how they felt about their companions specifically mentioning Elder M's talk from this afternoon. Many more came up to me and said how much they admired what the two of us had compared to the creep they were stuck with.
Testimony meeting lasted until 10:30pm. Nearly 200 testimonies had been born. We left feeling as though we could fly to our hostel.
The Liege Zone was asked to stay in the DeKryker Hostel which was only 2 blocks from the Chapel. We were actually able to walk over there after the meeting. We all sang songs along the boulevard. People must have stared at us wondering where all that light came from!
The hostel had dormitory type rooms for the elders and sisters. All 12 of the Elders were put into 3 rooms with four beds. The two sisters shared a room with other women. Elder M and I were put in with the Zap and baby Zap. I still had a problem of not having any garments on and if I undressed in front of everyone, it would have become very obvious. I excused myself to go to the communal bathroom and shower area. One for the women and one for the men. There were 4 different stalls and an open shower area. I wanted to take a shower before bed. Elder M joined me. Neither of us wanted to turn down an additional shower since we get them so infrequently. I went down to the bathroom first and hid in one of the stalls as I took off my clothes, put on a pair of garments and then put my clothes back on as I came out. Elder M was there by that time. We both just put on a pair of pajamas while walking in a more public area. No one else was around. We walked over to the shower area and took off
our clothes, leaving clean pairs of garments and our pajamas on hooks outside the shower area then we stepped into the wet area.
Elder M and I were pretty casual around each other when we were naked. Our close proximity in our small apartment plus our P Day bathing in the Municipal Baths made it almost common place for us to see each other without clothes. However the thrill of seeing my companion's body never left me. It wasn't purely a sexual feeling. It was all combined with my admiration for his dedication, the fun we had in our apartment and the love we felt for each other. It was the most intimate thing two guys could do with each other and I loved the intimacy created.
At the Municipal Baths, we had even gotten into the habit of spending 10 minutes or so in the tub together, soaking in the hot water at the first of our shower periods. It was about a month after I first arrived and about our 4th trip to the bathhouse when Elder M suggested we spend the first 10 minutes in the hot water together sort of like soaking in the hot pools near his place in New Mexico. I was game for a new experience so we filled up the oversize tub that could easily fit the two of us and another. Elder M got in first and slowly sat down in the very hot water. Then I got in at the other end and sat down facing him with our legs intertwined. The water was about up to our neck. We relaxed and laid back on the tub. Underwater, my legs went around Elder M's hips while his somewhat shorter legs where between my legs towards my crotch. Our comfort being around each other made this arrangement less awkward though still somewhat weird for me. It wasn't everyday that the object of my secret affections had his foot on my balls! He thought it was funny and would wiggle his food just to get a rise out of me. Of course the main thing that rose was my dick. I was always rock hard during these soaking times and he knew it. He thought that was funny too. Of course then I'd have to move my foot and tickle his balls and dick and tease him about his hard on. We would have fun during these times just goofing around, pushing water at each other, playing with each other's feet or just massaging the other's legs. I looked forward to every P Day and the chance to soak with him in the big tub.
Here in the hostel, we were alone in the shower area and were just letting the hot water run off our backs trying to relax. We were both tired and ready to get some sleep.
"So, what did you think about Brother Packer's big interview," Elder M asked me while standing there letting the water cascade over the red hair on his chest creating rivulets down his abs and over his dick.
"I've never been so disappointed in my life," I replied. "Why does he care if we jack off or not?"
"I suppose he trying to separate the wheat from the tares or something," Elder M responded. "Still, I about fell off my chair when he asked me that."
"Did you tell the truth?" I teased him.
"Man, you can't lie to an Apostle. He'd see right through that. So I told him that I jacked off two times on my mission and that was it."
I turned to him in complete astonishment. "What? Are you playing around behind my back?" I was grinning from ear to ear.
"No, this was before you came. It was with my first companion. I was so danged depressed. He never said a word to me for 6 weeks other than some command. We were stuck in Luxembourg by ourselves with no other missionaries around. I didn't have anyone to talk with. So I stroked a couple of times. I didn't think it was too much of a big deal. I spent my teenage years as jack off king of New Mexico!" He laughed.
"Yeah, well I was King AND Queen of Utah in the jacking off department," I said nearly busting my gut laughing at the vision of Elder M on a podium being crowned Mr. Jack Off King of New Mexico. "Man, if I didn't get off twice a day, I'd bust a nut!"
The two of us were laughing so hard we didn't notice the presence of a third person in the shower area, Elder Peters.
"So, Elders, what's the big joke?" Elder Peters asked while entering the shower area and standing underneath the water to my right.
Both Elder M suddenly got very quiet. It was one thing to have the two of us casually naked in the showers. But the addition of Elder Peters made everything awkward. Elder M turned towards the shower and started on his hair. I supposed he was reminded of when he walked in on us at the Liege Chapel. I know I was as well as this morning when Elder Peters gave me a hand job I'll never forget. I was caught between the two of them, between the love and intimacy I felt for the Elder on my left and the excitement and sexual tension I felt for the Elder on my right. The sensation was so strange. I looked at each of them - naked and hot men for whom I had such different feelings. The sound of the showers and the smell of soap and shampoo only emphasized my attractions for each of them.
Elder M finished his shower and turned off the water, walked over and began to towel off. "Elder Peters," he began. "So what brings you to the shower at this time of night?"
Elder Peters was just finishing rinsing his hair. "I just thought I'd take some of the edge off before bed."
"Well, that's just peachy," said Elder M almost angrily. He put on his Gs and then his pajamas. "Well, you two have a good time." Elder M left in a huff leaving me perplexed and alone with Elder Peters.
"What's wrong with your comp," asked Elder Peters as he turned towards me.
"I think he may be remembering seeing the two of us in Liege. He was pretty upset about that and nearly chewed my head off on the way home that night."
"What about? We weren't doing anything then, not like this morning," said Elder Peters with a Cheshire grin. He came over and stood in front of me grabbing my semi-hard dick like an old friend. "I just wanted to get better acquainted with this guy."
My hearts stopped for a second then blood rushed to my dick as it grew under Elder Peters' hand. But my mind was really torn between my love for Elder M and my intense attraction to the man in front of me. My eyes closed and I nearly crumpled at the knee as Elder Peters continued to massage my engorged dick. I had to make a decision. I can't just let this happen.
Deliberately, I turned around, shut down the shower and walked over to my towel.
"Where are you going? Don't go. This is a perfect place for us to have some more fun. Elder Roark?"
I quickly dried myself off, pulled on my garments over my still rigid dick and quickly left the bath area leaving Elder Peters alone. I walked into our room. Elder M was in his bed with his back turned toward me. The Zaps appeared asleep. I sat down on Elder M's bed and put my hand on his shoulder. He turned his head to me. He had tears in his eyes. I leaned down and kissed his cheek, held him for a moment then climbed into bed, grateful for my beloved companion