Sorry this took so long. I've been working on a story in the Sci Fi directory called Panther in the mist. Check it out and let me know what you think.
Dan Rimshot@planetaccess.com
The truth about Caymen 6:
Caymen picked his T-shirt up from the picnic table on the patio and wiped the sweat off his chest. "The next time you ask me to pull up rose bushes with you, don't be hurt when I tell you to get stuffed." He threw the shirt at Merit, wrapping it around his face. He bent over and pulled a couple of thorns out of the calf of his leg.
"You thrive on torture, admit it." Merit threw the shirt back and flopped into a deck chair. "Jesus Christ it's hot. I thought it wasn't supposed to be hot until May, not in April." He picked up his own shirt and dropped it on the patio to make room in another chair for Caymen. "Honest to god, Cay, I never thought we'd blow a whole day. I'm sorry."
Caymen waved his hand in dismissal. "It's all right. Don't worry about it. We just could've spent the whole day having sex up in the canyon, but this is okay. I've enjoyed it."
"You really are a dickhead, do you know that?" Merit laughed, then leaned over and stole a kiss. "But I love you, so you get the shower first. The meeting is at 7:30, and we need to leave in an hour." Caymen stood up to go in, swatting at Merit's attempted grope.
As he got in the shower, Caymen thought about the support group that they had joined. It really wasn't very helpful, but Merit put a lot of effort into it. This of course obligated Caymen to be as supportive as he could. It did not mean he had to enjoy it.
Caymen did not form bonds very often, and as a result had few close friends. The people at the group seemed so petty to him that he was frequently tempted to reveal that information to them. One didn't need to be psychic to see through their self-lies. It frequently led to a serious case of the giggles.
The wounds left by Merit's mother's roses stung under the pressure of the shower. Caymen hissed, scrubbing at the little bloody prick marks. Eight bushes, each of them desperate to stay right where they were. His shoulders ached, and his back was sore. He let the water pound his shoulders.
When he got out, Merit had used the shower in his parent's room, and was sitting on his bed drying his hair as Caymen entered. "Cay, do you mind if we eat somewhere nice tonight? I get sick of that salad place." Merit referred to a soup and salad bar restaurant that Caymen liked, preferring to forgo meat meals.
"I don't care. You pick." Caymen brushed through his hair and sat cross-legged on the bed. "If you want to eat some heavily charcoal laden chunk of unrecognizable flesh, that's fine."
"Well, my appetite is off the charts now." Merit shot back sarcastically. "Maybe they'll let us club or own cow to death. Now that's service."
"I'm kidding." Caymen smiled and kissed Merit's nose. "We can go anyplace you want. I eat meat sometimes. It doesn't always have to be vegetarian.." He wrapped his arms around Merit's shoulders and put his head next to Merit's ear. "How the hell do you think I survive or wrestling sessions? I need protein too."
They dressed and locked up, Merit leaving a note that he would stay in Ogden at Caymen's as was the habit. They got in Merit's El Camino and headed for the meeting. It was a long drive, nearly an hour, and they were almost late. They jogged up to the entrance of what was a church, but now served as a sort of civic center. The group paid small dues, which were then paid to the owners of the building for use of it.
"Ah, there you are!" Michael, a man in his mid-forties greeted them as the walked in. Michael was a co-founder of the group, and was particularly fond of Merit for genuine reasons. They had struck up a conversation the first time Merit and Caymen had attended, and Caymen had been suspicious of Michael's intentions, but could find nothing in his mind that would set off any alarms. The man had been very open and honest about his experiences, and shared his feelings often at the meetings. Caymen liked him, but only just barely. Merit really liked him, which lost him points with Caymen, if only in secret.
"Hey, Mike." Merit hugged the man and followed him into the building's basement. Caymen hung back like he always did, studying faces and opening himself up to errant thoughts. A newcomer glanced at him, then quickly looked away, face flushing scarlet. Caymen recognized the guy from school, probably from one of the lower classes, and made his way over.
The kid appeared to be about sixteenish, light brown hair in a spike cute, with hazel eyes. He was skinny, but dressed in expensive clothes, and was currently scared and embarrassed about being there. Caymen sat down and smiled slightly. "If you remember to breathe every now and then, your chest won't hurt."
"What?" The boy gasped, then realized he had been holding his breath. "I,uh,.....I'm kind of nervous."
Caymen chuckled, opening his mind a little more towards the other. "Really. I bet there's at least one person here who doesn't know that, other than me."
The boy laughed a little. "That obvious, huh?"
"Oh yeah. They'll eat you like vultures." Caymen waved his arm towards the small crowd milling around. He sensed that his comment had caused fear, and he wished that he hadn't said it. "Sorry, that was mean. Nobody's gonna give you a hard time. I promise." He held out his hand. "I'm Caymen McCandles."
"Randy Blake." The boy took his hand. "Is everyone here, you know.."
"Gay?" Randy flinched, and Caymen chuckled. "Look, Randy, if you're here for Narcotics Anonymous, I think that's tomorrow night. If you here because you need to be with people that are like you, and I think you do, you're in the right place."
"I read about this on the Internet." Randy swallowed hard and looked at his lap. "I think I'm gay, but I never did anything, you know.."
"Maybe if you listen to some of these people you'll get some info. We stay away from the sex part and just talk about problems and relationships. The sex part is actually pretty easy. Finding a partner and actually having a relationship is a bitch, wouldn't you say?" Caymen patted the other's shoulder and leaned back in the chair. He noticed Merit looking for him and waved, indicating the seat next to his.
"I just don't want to be a liar and a freak anymore." Randy said, and Caymen felt grief wash over him. "It's like sitting in the middle of an orchestra during a concert, and being the only guy without an instrument."
"Hey, who's this?" Merit asked as he sat down. He put out his hand and shook.
"Randy Blake, Merit Carter, the reason for my life." Caymen said with a flourish.
"Hey." Randy looked at Merit, then at Caymen. "You guys are an item?"
"We are." Merit leaned forward on his knees to talk. "How did you find us, Randy?"
"The Internet. I was looking for other help stuff." Randy almost whispered, and Caymen got a flash of a razor blade and a sink with the water running. Randy had been comptemplating suicide. He accidentally sent the images to Merit who gave him a sharp look. "Is something wrong? Randy asked, noticing the change in both of them
Caymen shook himself back into the now. "Sorry, man. I just remembered that I left a small child double parked in the middle of the road."
"On fire." Merit added.
"With the top down." Caymen finished. Randy looked at them strangely, causing him to laugh. "Sorry again, Randy. We do that every now and then when the urge hits."
"We urged? Damn, I missed it again." Merit smacked his fist down on his knee in mock disgust.
"You two are psycho." Randy laughed
"You have no idea." Caymen said. The meeting started and as predicted, He was bored in about fifteen minutes. His mind traveled back to Randy frequently, and he listened to the other's feelings as they changed with the conversations. It was clear that Randy felt very alone, and that there was some serious depression going on. Ordinarily Caymen would just dismiss such a person to make what they could of life and find their own answers, but something just wouldn't let him do it this time.
"You're starring." Merit's voice filtered in through the mind link, and Caymen realized that he'd been looking right at the speaker who was giving him curious glances. "Sorry." He sent back, then sent a sensation of him fondling Merit's penis, causing his lover to jump. Merit glared at him, then took his hand.
The meeting came to an end, and it was easy to tell that Randy was not satisfied with the answers he was after. Caymen caught Merit's eye, and Merit nodded, resigned. Caymen winked, then turned to Randy as everyone stood up to leave. "Wanna go get some pizza with us? Merit's buying, which is a rare treat."
"Thanks, but I don't want to get in the way." Randy said, pulling on a jacket.
"You won't be in the way. You look like you could use some company." Caymen put his arm around the boy's shoulders as they moved towards the door. "Besides, you wouldn't want to miss a chance to ride in Merit's baby, would you?"
"His baby?" Randy smiled, feeling happier than he had for a long time.
"An El Camino." Merit supplied with pride. "I'll put against just about anything I've seen for awhile." He pulled out the keys and opened the passenger door, holding it while Caymen slid into the middle, then for Randy.
Randy giggled as he sat down. "You guys don't act like I expected." He did up his seat belt and got as close to the door as he could to give Caymen room.
"What, like fags? You can't be gay AND have a fast car?" Caymen leaned on Randy as Merit climbed in, then smiled at the mind images he got from the kid. They reminded him of the images he'd gotten from Merit not so long ago.
"Well, you have to admit it's not exactly the norm, you know?" Randy flashed them a dazzling smile. "I think it's kind of cool how real you guys seem."
"Hear that, Cay? I told you we were real." Merit started the truck and pulled out of the parking lot, squealing the tires as they accelerated.
"Aw, shit. Warp speed, Scotty." Caymen braced his hands on the dash so he wouldn't fall against Randy. "Jesus, Merit. Don't be subtle or anything."
"Do I bitch when you drive like a maniac?" Merit groused as he changed lanes. "You're such a puss sometimes."
The local Pizza Hut was swamped for a Friday night. They looked at all of the cars in the parking lot and Caymen met Merit's eyes. "To hell with this. Let's go to Grandma's and order a pizza." They talked as they drove, covering cars, music, and what their summer plans were. They were surprised to find out that Randy was also graduating, and would be going to Weber State that fall.
"That's where we're going." Merit informed him. "I couldn't talk Caymen into moving to Logan, so I'm moving to Ogden."
"How the hell can I learn philosophy from a bunch of rednecks, Merit? If you answer that, I'll move to Logan." Caymen winked at Merit, playing him into their long running jokes.
"You lied to me. You said you were a philosopher." Merit leaned over and kissed Caymen. They pulled into the driveway and were greeted by Baggy as they got out. She ran up and looked up at Merit, sniffed Randy, then leapt onto Caymen's shoulders.
"Wow, that's a beautiful cat." Randy stroked her head, amazed at her bright yellow eyes. He loved cats, but had never been allowed to own one.
"She's a little past par for your normal feline." Caymen said, transferring her to Merit so he could unlock the house. "She'll be offended if you lump her with lesser cats and pee in your shoes." They made their way in, turning on lights. A message on the answering machine told Caymen that he could pick his grandmother up at the airport promptly at nine a.m. on Sunday.
"She has a cool accent." Randy said when the message ended. "Is she English or something?"
"Good god, no, and don't say that around her either. She's Scottish. Technically, so am I." Caymen grabbed a six pack off Cokes and led them up stairs to his room.
"Technically?" Randy asked, sitting carefully in the chair at the desk.
"I was born in Scotland, but I'm a U.S. citizen. My family gets really fussy about that kind of stuff." Caymen handed Randy a Coke, then one to Merit who was putting on music.
"That's no shit." Merit mumbled, setting the CD player for Savage Garden. He still had very vivid memories of Caymen's relatives.
"Anyway, the English don't like to be called Scots, and the Scots would rather have a live badger crammed up their asses than be called English. Their all funny that way." Merit pulled off his shirt and threw himself on the bed, not unaware of the reaction this caused in Randy, but unwilling to be someone he wasn't. "Feel free to take off your jacket and get comfortable. Throw your shoes over by the door if you want."
Randy watched as Merit pulled his off and chucked them at the wall, then carefully did the same, trying to loosen up. He really like these guys and didn't want to offend them. "Your grandma let's you stay here by yourself?" He asked, dropping his jacket over his shoes. Caymen nodded. "My parents would drop a live grenade in their shorts before they let me do that. Their control freaks." He sat on one of the corners of the king size bed and folded his legs under himself. Baggy jumped up and plopped down in front of him, purring loudly. He stroked her head, marveling at the softness of her downy fur.
"You'll never understand the relationship between Caymen and his grandma, so don't even try." Merit slid a huge pillow over to Randy, then put one behind Caymen's head. "All I can tell you is that the woman is incredible."
"She loves you, too, ya big dink." Caymen reached back and caressed Merit's cheek. "She and Merit hit it off instantly when we met." He looked back at his lover and smirked. "She thinks he's `a fine lad'."
"Damned straight." Merit said, smugly leaning back on his own pillow.
"I wouldn't say that." Caymen mumbled, earning him a swat on the head. He glanced at Randy, who was giggling almost uncontrollably. "You see what I put up with?"
They called for pizza and devoured two large mega-cheese and pepperoni specials. At some point, it was decided that Randy should stay the night with them, and that they would watch the Exorcist. Randy called and got permission to stay, and they turned out the lights and put in the movie.
Almost immediately, Caymen started laughing during scenes that scared the hell out of Randy. He clutched the pillow to his chest, not understanding what was so funny. Merit left and came back with popcorn, noticing the looks that Caymen was getting as he entered.
"Something that you need to know, Randy. Caymen isn't exactly Christian, and considers this movie to be one of the all time best comedies ever made."
"Only Young Frankenstien is better." Caymen said around a mouthful of popcorn "Dogma was pretty good though."
"Sometimes you guys really freak me out." Randy stated, shaking his head. "You seem pretty cool for psychos."
"Yes!" Merit crowed, throwing his arms up in victory. "We've been up graded to psychos!" He threw himself on the bed with his head landing in Randy's lap, startling him. "I like that, man. I really do."
"Damn it, Merit, he isn't gonna get to see the barf scene if you keep clowning around." Caymen threw a kernel of popcorn at them. "You know I love that part."
"Holy shit. I've been abducted by aliens." Randy said quietly, half-wondering if he was in the twilight zone.
"Yes, but we've deemed your race unimportant, so instead of the big invasion, we just want to have sex with Brad Pitt." Merit beeped Randy on the end of the nose and rolled away, stealing a quick kiss from Caymen.
"Speak for yourself, Martian man. I'd rather do a collie." Caymen swatted Merits ass as he rolled by.
"That's encouraging."
The movie ended, and they got ready for bed. Using some huge quilts and blankets, they fashioned a soft place for Randy, then took turns go through the bathroom. Caymen sighed, not wanting to embarrass their guest, and not wanting to be restricted and uncomfortable while he slept. To hell with it, if the kid was going to be around them, and Caymen thought he likely would, he needed to know up front what they were like.
"I hope you don't mind, man. I've slept in the buff since I was nine." Caymen pulled off his khakis and tossed them in the clothes hamper. Randy flushed, but stood up and started to disrobe. It's okay, Caymen. I do, too."
Caymen got a mind full of images of himself from Randy, and a few of Merit, but decided that he was okay. He jumped in the bed and slid over, leaving Merit some room to get in. He listened as Randy crawled into the make shift bed and settled in, admiring his courage. The question was what to do about the kid's loneliness. Caymen was very attached to Merit, and had no intentions to play the field. He knew that Merit loved him madly, and that left what to do with Randy. And why exactly they should do anything.
Merit turned out the light and slid in to the bed, opening the link. "So why is this guy so important?" He asked, careful not to sound petulant.
"I don't know. I just had a strong need to help him." Caymen answered, allowing Merit to snuggle into the crook of his arm. "I saw that razor blade, and I knew we had to do something."
Merit snorted, causing the small invisible hairs on Caymen's chest to rise. "You know he thinks we're gorgeous."
"I know."
"Do you want to get him wound up and drop him on his head? That would suck, Cay."
Caymen stroked Merit's cheek during the silent conversation. "Of course not. I'm not usually mean."
"That's not what I meant. I'm sorry."
"Go to sleep. We'll figure it out tomorrow." Caymen kissed Merit deeply, then rolled over on his side, letting Merit move up to his back, his favorite place to sleep. It would be nice, he thought as Merit started to snore lightly, if some insight would present itself. It took along time to fall asleep.
Randy stared at the ceiling most of the night, praying to god that he wouldn't loose his new friends. It had been so hard since Peter had killed himself. So hard not to follow suit. Caymen and Merit were so beautiful, and so funny. He had thrived on their attention, yet held back from touching them or opening up just in case he drove them away. Tears rolled down his cheeks as his mind rushed through these thoughts, and he was startled to feel a soft tail flutter across his nose.
Baggy clawed carefully at the blankets and made herself a nest, then curled up in the bend of Randy's arm, purring quietly. He ran his hand down her spine and was rewarded with a rough tongue on his cheek. Without thinking about it, he relaxed, petting the cat and marveling at her fur. His eyes drifted shut, lulled by her hypnotic rumbling. He fell asleep.
On his pillow with his eyes closed, Caymen smiled and thanked his beloved cat.