Truth Behind Tear Glazed Eyes - By Clive
Comments:-
This is Clive again... you may recognise my work such as Grand Encounter, First Impression and other nifty associated stories (omg sounds like a simpsons episode!) Any waz I am back with another short story, infact this is a one parter. So I hope you all like this and I am dedicating this to several of my friends as listed below. Thanks to y'all :)
Tonny, Yuli, Billy_Burrew, Kyle, Zak, Andrew, Dru, Adam, Abi, Rachel, Richard, Tom, Steven, Chris, Anthoney, Dayse, Jade, James, Eric and Many many more
Finally once again I would appreciate any comments (good or bad) to: bigc79_uk@yahoo.com Thanks and hope you enjoy the story :) Thanks and hope you enjoy the story :)
[THAT MEANS MAIL ME :p]
Don't Forget to check out my new website @
http://www.authorclive.co.uk
Disclaimer:-_
This story is fiction and does not imply anything about the group * Nsync or any other person involved in full or in part. If you are under the legal age to read such material in your area please leave immediately. The author takes no responsibility for anyone's actions based upon this work of fiction.
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**Truth Behind Tear Glazed Eyes
By Clive**
The wind was howling around the small candle that sat on its own on the table by the open window. Cold chilling air moved forward and swung around the room with an ease and grace and fluidity that became a dancer. The sound and the ice cold feeling was only made visible by the single sheets of white silk that acted as curtains in the young man's room. They were not there to block out light, more so they were decorative and in the chilling air they moved and floated into the center of the room towards the bed upon which he lay. His body lay lifelessly at ease whilst he slept, the only indication that he was even alive the fact that a small mist was formed every time the air escaped his almost closed and glossed lips. A small almost frozen tear drop was evident by the side of his right tear duct, but apart from that his face showed no other emotion at all, and yet he was aching inside, he was yearning for companionship for love for peace in his non-stop life style. For months now he had spent nights like these withdrawn from the outside world (to an even greater extent than normal) to the extent that he wasn't even communicating with his family, his friends or even his colleagues. But tonight was different, he had told his closest and dearest friend only hours before the one secret that he had held within himself and the one thing that he was scared would push the others in the group away from him. Ironically the one thing he had been worried about came true...
***
Justin sat quietly contemplating the evenings events and the toll they had taken on him, the group and his life in general. To an outsider his life seemed perfect, he was set high upon a pedestal, idolised, for all and sundry to praise and adore. But when the music stopped at night and the cheers from the fans had died down, the silence in his life started to settle in. Who would have guessed that someone who outwardly, appeared to have everything, could also have so little. No love, no life long soulmate... wasn't this what all the hard work and effort really came down to? Each and every human being was placed on the earth with the soul purpose to find their partner and to settle down, and in most cases start a family? Justin wasn't looking for this, well not all of it. He was looking for companionship. Someone to share his glory with, someone who understood him. But that person seemed to be miles away and out of reach for the youth who, even at such a young age, was forced publicly to act more mature and adult like than most persons of equal age.
"Yo... Curly, you coming out?" the voice outside the door to Justin's room bellowed through strongly with a force and a deep set tone that could only be one of his friends, well not just any old friend, more specifically one of his closest, Lance Bass.
Justin disentangled himself from his bed covers which he had covered his legs with to keep himself warm, and after a few seconds of re-arranging himself and making himself look a little more pleasing to the eyes he lethargically made his way to the door. He grabbed hold of the door handle with a firm but yet not too forceful grip and opened the oak door infront of him to come face to face with not only Lance but Chris as well.
"What'cha doing guys?" Justin asked in his normal off stage dull tone, but not because he wasn't exciting... god no... the thing is, he was the most energetic and active guy in the group when on stage or performing, even more than Josh who came a close second. And it was all this activity that just hammered the life out of Justin when out of the public lime light.
Chris stepped forward and placed his hand on Justin's right shoulder and turned the younger performer around and started to walk into the room with him, "We", there was a pause as Chris contemplated his words (as he normally did), "Lance, Joey and me were thinking of doing something... fun. You know like hang out and chill. You wanna join us?" by the time that Chris had finished asking Justin both the men were in the center of his room closely followed by Lance who visibly shuddered at the temperature in and surrounding the room but said nothing, knowing that the slightly younger male had a liking for the cold for some unknown reason.
"Umm... is Josh going?" Justin asked as he started to get his stuff together, picking up this and that, basically just making the room more hospitable for guest. "I mean I am up for it, I was just wondering like... kinda" Justin continued to move and put things from one side of the room to the other in a fidgety kind of way.
"We were just going to ask him actually. Meet you in my room in 10 'k' " Lance said as he turned on his heals and pulled Chris backwards with him almost pulling the eldest member over off his feet. And with that Justin was left in his room on his own.
The ten minutes had passed with agonizing speed, it wasn't that time had flown for Justin, infact he felt it was the complete opposite. He had literally spent the last ten minutes of his life asking himself why he always got so worked up when he came into contact, or found himself sitting in the same room as his best friend in the world. After all it hadn't always been that way, he could remember the first time that he met Joshua Chasez at his audition for the television show on Disney. They just seemed to click there and then, it didn't matter to Josh that Justin was younger, most people Josh's age treated Justin as a kid but he didn't he always made a point of involving the younger kid in everything and they seemed to form an inseparable bond. Maybe that was the problem, Justin felt this bond for JC and had done for a long time, but he never really knew when his feelings started to change. The big question that took up most of his time was whether the changes he was feeling were for the better or not, and it tore him up inside.
***
It had been ten plus minutes since Lance and Chris had stopped by everyone's rooms to find out if they were up for some fun and as it turned out (this being a first in a long time) all five of the guys were in a mood that meant that they could do something as a group. Lance and Chris sat on the end of the bed talking to Josh about this and that, basically nothing of importance just business stuff that each of them had their fingers in. Whilst at the same time Joey walked back and forward slowly, talking to his brother on the phone about his Christmas break and the possibility of the two of them getting together for a while back home in NY. So there they were the four of them waiting for the fifth, none of them really worried about his lack of time keeping, after all it had been a long time since he had been out or even socialized with the others 'out of work hours' as it was. And it hadn't gone unnoticed by Josh that Justin was becoming more and more of a recluse like himself in some ways.
Justin walked into the grand opening that was Lances' bedroom suit and the activities that were taking place in the room meant that he was able to move in without anyone making a comment or such like, in fact he simply moved into the main room and sat down on the sofa and started to watch Joey going about talking to his brother (or so Justin assumed because of the friendly banter that Joey was using) and it was only after a few minutes of him sitting there that anyone took any notice of him, the thing is it wasn't anyone it was Josh... his Josh.
"So... umm, how you doing?" JC asked with an edge of nervousness in his voice as he took the seat next to Justin
"Not to shabby, got some things I want to deal with C but that is all. You?" Justin asked with honest enthusiasm in his voice, not like some of the people that JC had been around in the past.
"Not too bad either, but I've got things to deal with too."
"Well you know that my door is always open to you... in a friendly kinda way", and at that Justin blushed the deepest shade of red imaginable... but then so did JC, 'weird' was all that Justin could think as he looked into the blue pools that were JC's eyes at that moment in time... but his gaze was averted when Chris and Lance came crashing into the two others sitting side by side and then out of seemingly no where Joey ended up throwing himself completely ontop of the group, whilst tossing his phone to the side with a loud thud.
"Get your fat ass off me Joey I can't breath," came the high pitched squeal of Chris as Joey sat victoriously ontop of all the other members in the band. But he made no move to get of the others instead he bounced up and down like a little kid on a bouncy castle...
"Who you calling fat?" Joey continued to bounce.
"No one.. I'm sorry... no please will you get of me?"
"Tell me that i'm the best, then I'll get off."
"Ewww... Joey"
"And not like that Justin... now say it Chris... I know you want to"
"Please will you get off 'us' Joey your the best... happy now?"
"I suppose" and with that Joey made his way off the others till his feet were touching the ground and at that the others all fell to the respective positions on the floor.
"So what we doing then?" Joey posed the question to the others as they slowly made their way to their feet until all of them were standing in a small huddle like position.
"I say we go clubbing, it's been like forever since we did that."
"Crap, absolute crap Chris, you were out partying only 2 days ago", Lance interjected.
"Yeah well I meant as a group. I mean I'm kewl with whatever, its been ages since we've done anything as a group. How about Junior over here decides" and with that the floor was passed to Justin allowing him to make up the groups choice. So what would it be? should they just chill or were they up for some partying? Looking around the room at the guys he could see the answer of three of them with it written across their faces, Joey, Chris and Josh all wanted to party but Justin knew that Lance wasn't as much of a party animal as the others but then again he enjoyed dancing the night away just like the others. It was no good he couldn't say clubbing without knowing that Lance was ok with it so he did the next best thing.
"I'd rather not choose, let Lance make the decision after all it was him that got us all out of our rooms." 'Good thinking Justin you passed the buck to Lance who would just want to watch a film' and that was the same sort of thing the other two partyers were thinking as they looked on at Lance who just stared back at them with almost no expression on his face at all.
"Clubbing it is then boys" was all Lance had to say as the other let out hoots and jumped up and down like children all except Justin who looked on at Lance with a puzzled face.
"umm Lance, why did you choose clubbing? After all you don't exactly like to do that kinda stuff?" Justin asked him on the quiet whilst the others were busy rushing around jumping up and down and getting ready.
"Simple my dear boy. You all wanted to go" and with that Lance made his way into his room to get dressed.
***
The noise in the club was almost deafening, none of the guys could really hear each other when they were at the bar or on the dance floor, so they decided to take a break and head over to the seating areas that were few and far between. They finally managed to find one that they all sat down at and just took in the sight of the room infront of them. All of them lost in their own thoughts, wondering if this was what it was like for the audiences at their concerts.
"I'm going to get a drink you guys want something?" Joey rose to his feet and the others nodded their heads in approval of the idea all except Chris who stood up at the same time and gestured with his head that we was going that way so he would help Joey with the drinks.
"Guess that leaves the three of us"
"Make that two, I spy with my little eye something begging for me to dance with her" and with that Josh made his way back out to the dance floor and started to set his thing in motion as he made his way towards this scantily clad 'girl' dressed as if she was out to get some and she knew it. As Josh started to move gingerly but yet gracefully towards the girl Justin just sat there and looked on but not saying anything less he might make the mistake of outing himself infront of Lance. Well at least outing his feelings towards Josh at least.
Lance too watched on as Josh did his thing on the dance floor with the woman infront of him, but he was watching for a different reason. Over three months ago Josh had sought out Lance's shoulder and ear to help come to terms with the things that he was feeling deep down inside. And that was the reason that Lance was more than perplexed at Josh's actions. For, three months ago, Josh had come to Lance with the news that he (of all the members in the group) was gay, or at least he thought he was. Lance had given him support and someone to talk to about his so called confused state and after three weeks Josh had finally decided that he was gay and was going to tell the others soon, the thing is that he never did, or to date hadn't, thought Lance, and here he is parading around the dance floor as if he wants to get this woman to bed a.s.a.p. He just didn't understand what Josh was playing at...
"Earth to Lance, Justin, anybody there?" Chris said as he sat down infront of the other two breaking their line of vision and thus making is almost impossible for them to see Josh.
"Say what?" was all Justin could say as he craned his neck in an attempt to see more of what was going on.
"Spill it guys what going on?"
"Nothing, I was just looking at that girl that JC's dancing with, she's fairly young don't you think?" Lance said in an attempt to hide the fact that he had been looking at Josh... but then again how come Justin hadn't said anything, maybe he himself liked the look of her. 'Damn I always put my foot in it' Lance thought as he attempted to apologize to Justin saying that he didn't think she was that young looking, at which Justin gave Lance the brush off saying she wasn't all that.
"Ok... whatever!" was all Chris said as he once again got up to go and make his own way back onto the dance floor not to far away from JC
"So what you thinking?" Lance asked Justin who was still mesmerised by the way that Josh seemed to move with ease and fluidity that no other member of the group seemed to posess unless their moves were set out in stone and they were run over and over again."
"Nothing much."
"So what you looking at?"
"Josh" Justin said it all too quickly before thinking what was even coming out of his mouth.
"Umm ok... what about JC?"
"I suppose this and that, nothing much really" but Lance could tell he was lying and for the rest of the night he watched Justin like a hawk, and the more he saw the more he realised that the slightly younger member of the group was in love. It seemed all so clear now, he was in love with JC.
***
The guys had all been out partying away, Chris and Joey hitting on girl after girl, Josh dancing the night away with the young woman he had spied earlier, Justin watching the scene unfolding infront of him and growing more and more envious of that girl that had JC's undivided attention and lastly there was Lance, who after his new understanding of the situation spent the whole night trying to work out JC and Justin.
Lance couldn't take it anymore, he had to know what was up with JC so he silently made his way across the hallway over to Josh's bedroom. He knocked ever so lightly on the door and only entered after he hear a faint and obvious teary reply from Josh inside his room.
"Josh what's the matter?"
"Nothing, everything is just peachy thanks."
"That is bollocks and you know it!" Lance's choice of words took JC aback, after all it wasn't often that Lance used that kinda language and this was one of those times that he really wasn't expecting it. "Lets start by talking about that child you were dancing with tonight"
"I don't even want to go there."
"I think it's a little late, what was all that stuff, let me get this right... umm I spy with my little eye something begging for me to dance with her'?"
"That's what straight guys do all the time"
"Yeah right, if you say so Josh"
"Fine if I tell you this you have to promise to not say a word 'k'?" Josh's voice was authoritative and yet at the same time had a pleading tone to it.
"Josh I know things about you that none of the others do right." Lance paused for a second waiting for a reply but when he got none he just continued on, "I haven't told them that and trust me that what you say to me here says between us."
Neither of the two in the room heard the door open between the connecting rooms, like so many night Justin was in need of his Josh. Ever since he had been in the group it was an unspoken and understood thing that Justin would go to JC's room at night out of being lonely or just in need of company no matter what the time of night or day. And this was no different, except this time he heard JC talking in a quiet and heart shattering voice with the sound of sniffs and tears coming through in his voice. But it wasn't Justin that he was talking to it was Lance. At first this enraged Justin but then as he moved through his emotions he stayed silent listening to Lance's compassion and any anger or betrayal that he felt went out the window. But still he stood there unable to move as he listened to Josh pour his heart out to Lance.
"Ok... that girl meant nothing to me, I just couldn't sit at that table any more with you and Justin... it just got to me ok. She was the first thing I saw and once I started I couldn't just stop. I saw you and Justin looking at me and that was that."
"That kinda explains why you did those things... but why couldn't you sit with Justin and me? I just don't get it"
"Ok... here goes I guess."
"Spill already"
"I kinda have a thing for Justin, you have got to swear to me you won't tell him please" but before Lance could answer Josh they heard a faint gasp come from the corner of the room by the connecting doors and it was then that it hit both Lance and Josh like a lead weight that Justin had accidentally overheard what Josh had told Lance and before anything else could be said Josh shouted for both Lance and Justin to leave his room right away. Lance made it to his feet pretty sharpish considering the look that Josh was giving him and made his was over to the connecting door to Justin's room and moved through the the door pulling Justin along with him.
***
Both Justin and Josh spent the evening in the rooms crying over what was said, Justin because he was over-joyed that he had found out that JC felt the same way but that he didn't want to talk to him right now, and Josh because he felt that he had pushed the others away and especially Justin.
It wasn't till the early hours of the morning that Justin crept into JC's bedroom and it immediately hit him, the coldness of the room, and seeing Josh lying there on the bed with still cold wet tears on his face Justin felt his heart breaking. He moved closer to where Josh lay and sat down on the side of the bed, leaning over he gently placed a single sweat kiss on Josh's lips and was rewarded by the kiss being returned with tenderness. The two held each other that night and talked to each other explaining how they each felt, and it was then that JC realized that maybe his worries hadn't come true and that he and Justin would continue to be happy for a long time to come.
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