Turnabout

The following story contains scenes of sex (and yes, even love!) between young males. If this comes as a surprise to you, I can't even begin to imagine what you are doing here. My hope is that you will enjoy my story, and that you will let me know what you think at cgalt08@yahoo.ca

-TEN-

The kiss just went on and on. At some point, one of Josh's hands came up and rested on the back of my head. It didn't push. I felt nothing but the warmth of his body spreading into me as he gently rubbed up and down through my hair and onto the skin of my neck. At some other point, we toppled over from our kneeling positions and lay side by side on the deep warm carpet, wrapped in each other's arms, lips still glued together. I had never before experienced such warmth, such intimacy, such a feeling of caring, of giving and receiving love. And I had thought that these were things that Will had shown me. Had I been wrong?

As we had gone side to side, our bodies had come together. I felt the exact moment that Josh's hardness and mine met. There was an almost simultaneous reflex to pull away, followed immediately by another one to push together. Our two poles rubbed slightly together, then came to rest. For some reason, neither of us seemed to want to move the focus down there. We accepted what was happening to us physically, and let it go at that.

No, the focus was on the join at our mouths. It seemed as though neither one of us had made the first move to bring our tongues together. It had just happened as simultaneously as had the meeting of our cocks. Now we were taking turns gently pushing into the other's mouth, sucking on the offered flesh, probing, tasting, and welcoming the same attentions in return. There was the occasional gentle murmur or moan of pleasure, but there was nothing forced. My hands gripped the back of Josh's shoulders. He still held the back of my head in one of his, while the other was placed flat against the small of my back where I felt his heat radiating into me. It seemed that the heat from his hands was having almost as potent an effect on me as his mouth.

Finally, although I had no idea of how long it had lasted, the kiss ended. We moved ever so slightly apart, and lay gazing into each other's eyes. Neither of us said anything for the longest while. Then, Josh brought one hand up and began gently tracing the contours of my face. I wanted to copy him, and did. The silence went on and on as we touched each other, the gentle stroking seeming to have the same effect of reassurance and love on both of us.

Josh heaved a big sigh and spoke. "David..." That was all. He just breathed my name.

As he closed his mouth again, I ran my thumb over his lips. "Say that again," I whispered to him.

"David!" he said again, although this time it sounded huskier. My thumb was still at his mouth, and as he finished speaking he took it between his lips and closed them around it. His tongue began gently stroking up and down. My head started to spin. I moaned and tightened myself against him. The hand he still had at my back pulled me even more firmly against him.

He let my thumb go and relaxed the tension of his arm just slightly. We returned to gazing at each other. Time had lost all meaning. I had no notion of how long any of this had lasted. Josh spoke again, this time just breathing the word, "Wow."

All I could find to say to that was, "Yeah."

He shook his head slightly and said, "I think I'm in love."

I looked at him even more closely. His gaze was steady, serious, slightly awe-struck. There was not the faintest hint of falseness showing anywhere. Either he was a consummate actor or this was for real.

Before I could say anything in return, he continued. "David, I think you've got some stuff to tell me." And he moved himself slightly back, disengaging his arms from around me.

I sat up, cross-legged, beside him. My erection had subsided. Josh continued to lie on his side, looking up at me. I swallowed, hard. "I told you I wanted to tell you everything, but it still isn't going to be easy. Before I do, I just want to let you know that what just happened here was the best thing I've ever experienced with another person." I staggered to a stop. Had Will disappeared so completely from my thoughts?

Josh's hand came out and rested on me knee. "Thanks. I can honestly say it was for me too. And it hasn't been easy coming to terms with myself. You've made that happen a whole lot easier than it could have."

I smiled down at him, and put a hand over his. That warmth again. I'd never felt anything like the connection I seemed to have with him. And I just opened my mouth and told him so.

Josh shook his head. "Whoa! Head rush! Every time I think I've gotten used to how direct you can be, you just blow me away with something else." His hand turned, and he laced his fingers through mine. "I get the feeling you're really nervous about this. Don't force yourself. Don't feel you're obligated to say anything."

"I have to do this, Josh. I've been so screwed up in the head for the last couple of weeks I feel like I'm going to come apart if I don't get myself squared away. You're the best reason I can think of to do it, seeing as how you're such a part of it all."

And so I started. I started right off by telling him how I'd been fantasizing about him. I felt the rush of blood to my face as soon as I'd said that, but he did nothing more than continue to gaze calmly and seriously into my eyes, and mine never left his. His hand continued to hold mine, and his thumb at some point started to stroke the back of it, very softly and slowly. I told him about Will finding me in the midst of my sorrows, and how our mutual loneliness and isolation had brought us together. I told him about how we each seemed to change because of the other, and how his campaign against us had driven us further together for support. And then I told him about what had happened that morning, with Will presenting a new and decidedly different nature.

"And now there's you." I stopped and took a deep, shuddering breath.

Josh propped himself up on one elbow, then came up beside me and put an arm around my waist. "And now there's me," he repeated in a very soft whisper at my ear. He lightly brushed his lips against my cheek. "You have been through it, haven't you?"

We sat like that for awhile, Josh's arm around me, his other hand still holding mine, still stroking it with his thumb. He spoke again. "I don't know what to say, besides telling you again how sorry I am to have caused you so much grief." He hung his head.

"It was worth every bit of it," I replied. And I turned and lightly kissed the side of his head.

He looked up at me. "David, this may sound awfully stupid, but... but I think I love you."

"Doesn't sound stupid at all. I think I love you."

"But how... how can it happen this fast?"

"Don't know. Don't care, really."

"OK, then. What about Will?"

"Ouch! And you call me direct?"

He half laughed, half snorted. "But seriously, David. How do you feel about Will now?"

"Bewildered. I mean..." I paused and considered. "He actually scared me this morning. The one thing I didn't tell you, which I think I should now, is how we spent this weekend." And I told him, stumbling over just how to put it into words, about the sexual marathon we'd had. Josh actually winced, but then he tightened his arm around my waist, holding me closer to him. I rushed on. "So when he came out with that last thing he said, about 'getting on with our loving', it sure didn't sound as though it had anything to do with love."

Josh's head bent again, but I could see he was thinking about what I'd said. He looked back up. "So, what is love, David?"

"Wow. Maybe we should deal with the theory of relativity first and get that out of the way." I'd reverted to my flippant self, afraid of where this was going.

Josh didn't even respond to the flippancy. He just repeated, "So what is love?"

"Not what you do with your body," was the first thing out of my mouth. I'd surprised myself again. I said it with a considerable degree of force, and started to shake. "The thing about what Will said, the way he said it, was that it reminded me of... of..." I started to choke up, "... of what I did to you in the locker room." And I squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to see the replay of my hand reaching out, touching Josh in the intimate ways I had, twisting his whole body into that final, heaving revulsion. I squeezed my eyes more tightly closed, and two big tears broke loose and trickled down my cheeks.

Josh reached out and stroked one away with his thumb, and then I felt his lips against my cheek, and his tongue whisking the other away. And then his lips were at mine in a gentle kiss. His whispered voice eased into my dark mind. "You did what you thought you had to do to protect yourself. You know that. I know that. It's over now. We're both here, and we're both OK."

I threw my arms around him and he promptly lost his balance and fell backward to the floor. His arms came up around me and he yelled, "Uncle! This doesn't give you a license to beat up on me every time you feel like it!" I couldn't help laughing and he did too, with that wonderful, rich, bubbling laugh I'd loved from the first moment I'd heard it. The tension was broken, and we lay in comfort, me with my chest against his, the rest of me angling off him, our arms wrapped around each other. I put my head down onto his shoulder, my nose shoved into the side of his neck. He smelled so good.

Josh reached up and stroked my hair. "Mmmm, I love how this feels," he murmured.

"Yeah," I whispered back.

Another one of those long, timeless stretches. "David?" Josh finally said.

"Mmm?" I responded. I was almost to the point of drifting off to sleep.

"What about Will?"

I was wide awake again. And I didn't want to be. I heaved myself up off of Josh and went back into my cross-legged seat. He put his hands behind his head and gazed up at me.

"I don't know about Will. I really don't think I want to see him again after this morning."

"Are you sure? Do you think he really deserves that?"

"I'm not sure, Josh. I already told you, and I don't mind saying it again, he scared me. And when I put what's happened between us up against how things happened with him, it just seems to show even more how wrong the stuff between him and me was."

"Well, from all you've said, isn't there just the slightest chance you may have misinterpreted what happened this morning? Remember, you've been pretty wound up over all this. Don't you think you owe him a chance?"

I just stared at him. Finally, I said, "I can't believe you. Here you are, saying you think you love me, and then urging me to have another try at saving my relationship with Will!"

"I really do think I love you. And that's why I want to make absolutely sure that if we go on, you're going to be going on with a clear mind and a clear heart. You've got to do this, David."

I sighed deeply. "Yeah, you're right. How do you manage to be right so often?" I smiled a quirky smile at him.

He just grinned and tapped the side of his head. "Kidneys!" he quipped.

I absent-mindedly checked my watch and burst out, "Holy shit! Rosenblatt!"

"Excuse me?"

"This morning--English class--my head wasn't there--Rosenblatt kicked me out and told me to check in with him after class today. It's 3 o'clock now!"

Classes at our school ended at 3:20, and Rosenblatt would be waiting for me to show up at his room.

Josh said, "No probs! Trans Am power!" And his eyes gleamed mischief.

At 3:21, the TransAm slid into the very same space we had left at noon hour. I took a moment to uncross my eyes and to make sure my head was still in the same plane as the rest of me.

Josh reached over and grabbed my wrist as I started to bail. "I'll be waiting for you," was all he said.

I stopped and turned to him. "You don't have to do that."

"Yes I do." He said it with such understated seriousness that I could have no doubt of what he meant.

"OK." I bailed.

I walked into Rosenblatt's room. He wasn't there. Will was.

"So where have you been?" The question had sharp edges all around it.

"How come you're here?" I asked calmly in reply.

"I figured you'd have to report. But then when you didn't show for afternoon classes, I wasn't so sure. I guess you have some sense left of what's right."

"So what's that supposed to mean?" I was starting to tense up.

"Just where were you?" The edges were getting sharper. Look out you don't cut yourself, David.

"With a friend." I was trying to keep it simple.

"I don't suppose that 'friend' was Josh Barrett?"

"And if it was?" How much more juvenile could we make this? Maybe the way I could keep from frying myself on this was to make a game out of it.

"Ah, Mr. Preston. You're here." Neither of us had heard Rosenblatt come into the room. He turned toward Will. "And you are...?"

"Leaving!" said Will, forcefully. He turned on his heel and stormed out.

Rosenblatt didn't say anything right away. Actually, he kept his eyes on the door Will had just rushed through for a few moments. Then he turned them on me. "Is this perhaps part of what was on your mind this morning?" he asked.

Damn that blush! I could feel the red rushing into my face. He had asked me the question, sounding not at all professorial, more like a concerned friend. The whole tone of it threw me completely off. If he had only behaved as I had expected him to behave, typical teacher keeping a kid in after school, wanting to punish him for his misbehavior, I could have kept up the necessary front. But this! How was I going to answer him?

"That was a very upset young man," Rosenblatt continued. "Is he... a friend?"

I was so off-balance that I just met him on the same ground. "I'm really not sure any more," I said slowly.

"Do you believe in the power of speech?"

I looked at him quizzically.

"Do you believe that speaking, always trying your best to communicate with other people, is the way to resolve problems?"

"Well," I said with some hesitation. I was still addressing him as though he weren't my teacher and I wasn't his student. "Not talking is what got us into this in the first place, and then talking after your class this morning only made it worse."

"I see," was all he said. But it was an opening, and I surprised myself yet again on this day of surprises by taking it.

"What happened was that when we did talk, he ended up not sounding like himself. He became somebody different, and actually somebody I didn't like the sound of."

"Do you think he was speaking from his true self?"

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"Well, I'm sure you realize that many times when we say something to somebody, we are actually speaking for effect. It comes from wanting a certain reaction, or from wanting to create a certain feeling, or perhaps it comes from something we're reacting to and haven't really understood ourselves. Do you think how he talked to you this morning was that kind of thing, or was it real and sincere?"

"I... I don't know."

"How will you find out?"

"I suppose the only way to do that is to talk some more."

"Very likely," said Rosenblatt. "I think maybe that's what you should go and do now, if you can. Then, if all goes well, you'll be with us tomorrow in full mind."

I sat there for a few moments just looking at him. Probably really seeing him for the first time. He just gazed back at me, waiting. Finally, I said, "Thank you, Mr. Rosenblatt. Thank you very much."

"You're welcome, Mr. Preston. I'll see you tomorrow." And he turned to some papers on his desk.

I left his room and slowly walked down the hall toward the stairs leading down to the lobby. Could I have misinterpreted what Will had said? I couldn't help but hold this morning's conversation up against everything that Josh had said to me during our time together since last night. Did all that Josh had said come from his 'true self'? It had sure sounded like it. Plus there hadn't been any of the pressure that I'd felt from Will during our talk in the park.

I was turning all of this over in my mind when suddenly an arm shot out, grabbed me by mine and yanked me sideways. I was pushed into the boys' washroom and when I got myself reoriented, I found myself confronted by a very angry Will.

"All right, let's hear it."

"Let's hear what?" I said, as calmly as I could. I figured there was no use protesting his treatment of me. He obviously wanted to get down to essentials, and I thought that the sooner we got to them, the sooner it would all be over.

"Where were you?" He spaced it out, saying each word with great force.

"With Josh." Simplest is best, I thought.

"FUCK!" he exploded. He whirled, and slammed his hand flat against the wall. The sound reverberated around the room for a while. Then he faced me again. "So I'm not good enough for you now?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" I countered. "Josh decides he's been wrong about the way he's been treating us, and has the guts to apologize to us. Don't you think that deserves something in return?"

"Oh!" responded Will, dripping sarcasm from every word. "The way he's been treating 'us', huh? Don't you mean the way he's been treating you? I was just along for the ride!"

"He apologized to you, specifically, didn't he?"

"Only because you were there, and he wanted to suck up some more. Or maybe just to be sure he could suck some more?" With this, Will shoved his crotch forward suggestively.

I felt my face twist with disgust. "You're sick!" I blurted.

"Yeah!" he shot back. "Sick of being lied to!"

"Lied to? You have your mind absolutely made up that Josh and I have had sex, that no more has he said 'sorry, David' than we're in bed together?" My voice was rising shrilly, I was so upset. I stopped and took a big breath, trying to regain control. "Maybe you just want to believe he's been behaving the way you have."

Will's eyes widened. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Simple. Think back. How fast did you get me in the sack?" I was cringing inside as soon as I said it. It was so crude, so unfair really. But I had to find out where he was coming from with this stuff. Why was he so convinced that Josh and I were lovers already?

Will's face went white. Without a second's warning, he launched himself at me and slammed me back against the wall, his forearm across my throat. My head rang from the force of the impact and I blinked rapidly, trying to regain focus. He stood in front of me, chest heaving, color slowly coming back into his face. His eyes bored into mine. His arm was heavy, not cutting off all my air, but enough so that I had to work at it to get some into my lungs and out again.

"David, David, David!" he croaked. "How could you say that to me? Davy, we love each other!"

I gasped in enough air to answer, "Funny way you have of showing it!"

His other hand came up swiftly and backhanded me across the face. "Bitch!" he yelled. "I'm going to teach you..."

He didn't get a chance to finish. Suddenly he was lifted from his feet, his arm came away from my throat, and he went flying to one side. And Josh was there.

Josh was there. A white-faced, very tense, vibrating with repressed rage Josh. He looked at me, seemingly to gauge what sort of shape I was in, then over at Will, who was just now propping himself up on one arm from his prone position on the bathroom floor, and shaking his head.

Josh looked back to me and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "Are you OK?" he said very quietly.

I had one hand up, massaging some life back into my throat. I nodded briefly and croaked, "Yeah, sure."

Josh turned his attention back to Will. He moved over towards him as he lay on the floor. Will glanced up at him once, then looked back away from the two of us and over to the far wall.

"What is with you, man?" Josh asked, still very quietly.

Will made no answer. He just slowly picked himself up and then moved toward the door. Josh moved to block him. He didn't raise a hand, but Will flinched away as though he saw a move coming.

"Listen," said Josh. "I'm not touching you again unless you try something smart. Not that I wouldn't like to do more than just touch you after what I've seen you do. But you're going to tell me what is going on before you leave here. How can you treat him like this? After what you've had together?"

Will looked over at me. "Oh, so you've told your new boyfriend all about us, have you? Couldn't wait to have a good laugh about that?"

That shocked some life back into me. "Laugh? Will, come on! What would there be to laugh about? Will, man, you saved me! You brought me back to life! You cared about me! And I care about you! How can I be laughing at you?"

"You care about me? Well, there's a laugh all right. You care enough about me to drop me the moment shit face here says one kind word to you. Yeah, that's what I call caring. Oh yeah, he can pound on me all he wants to, and you just think it's great cause he isn't doing it to you."

Josh still stood between Will and the door, watching the interplay between us quietly. He didn't try to get involved; he just let us keep on talking.

"He punched you in the stomach that first day. Nothing else. And that's what you call pounding on you all he wants? Come on, Will, you've got to tell me. Where are you getting all these notions from? Why are you so convinced I want to dump you?"

"David, you've got to tell me something. What does this guy mean to you?"

I had to think fast. Josh was listening. Will was waiting. Neither one of them deserved to be lied to. Or about. "He means a lot to me." Will's head snapped up almost as though I'd socked him on the jaw again. "Now wait, Will. It's not a question of my choosing him over you. It's not a question of someone getting left out. Josh and I have had a pretty bad round the last little while. And something happened that brought it to a head. The good thing is, we worked through that and, as unlikely as it seems, it's made us friends. I think I've found a good friend. And I also think you can be included in that."

Will let out a snort and shook his head. "Well, thanks for nothing, pal. Just what I've always wanted to be. The proverbial third wheel. Looks like you've made your choice, David. I hope it proves to be a bad one." Then, looking back at Josh, he said, "Do you mind?"

Josh looked at him a moment, then stepped aside. Will moved to the door, pulled it open, then looked back at me. His face was twisted up in a snarl. "One piece of shit should be with another." He yanked the door hard, slamming it back against the wall, and was gone. Neither of us moved or spoke until the door had sighed shut once again.

I couldn't move. I was replaying the last minute or so, trying to figure out where Will had come to to be able to talk like that. Josh came up to me and put his hands on my shoulders. He didn't say anything. He seemed to have a knack for knowing when not to talk. I shook my head, hard, wanting to toss out what we had just been through. But there was no way.

I looked at Josh. He was gazing at me patiently, waiting for me to decide what I wanted to do next. Tears formed and I angrily dashed at them with my hand. "Fuck! I can't seem to do anything without crying over it."

Josh released my shoulders, but kept standing very close to me, letting me feel his warmth. "I don't know how you could keep from crying over something like this," he said softly. "I mean, it's not like I knew him from before this, but from what you've told me, I could see how different he was just now. I don't know what to tell you now, David. I encouraged you to try and deal with him, and now I see how impossible that seems."

I took a deep, shuddering breath. "Oh god, Josh, what am I going to do?"

"Right this moment, nothing. Except come back home with me and try to forget about this."

I looked at him. I could see a kind, caring person in front of me. It's what I had seen in Will too. Was this destined to go the same way? Would Josh end up turning on me as well?

He must have seen the hesitation in my face. He read it right. "David, you have to have trust. Will I turn out like Will? I don't think so. But to be brutally honest, there's no guarantee. Look where I came from. Could I go back there? Possibly. But you got me out of that, and I got you out of this. Together we're making something good. Let's have faith in it."

I stood, thinking. I tried to reason it through. Then I thought, fuck reason. I held out my hand and Josh took it, then squeezed it. We moved toward the door together, and walked out.

This brings to an end the first series of Turnabout. But not to fear: David, Josh, and Will cannot fail to return in Turnabout Series Two.

But before they do, I need to hear from you. There has been a fair bit of reaction already to this first series, and lines are being drawn between those who cannot imagine Will being treated in the way that I have made him go, and those who favor the David-Josh pairing. There are even some who are sorry for Will, but "understand that he had to go".

Well, did he? What do you think is going to happen with the three of them? Or, more precisely, what do you think should happen to them?

Several of you have told me that what has happened in this story has reproduced, more or less accurately, things that have actually happened to you. I would love to hear about that too. Have you heard of the therapeutic power of writing? Try it. You don't have to be an author. Just tell the story. I have a ready and a sympathetic ear, and my mind is not already made up.

If you're the sort of person who reads through the stories in this archive and says to himself, "I should write to this guy and let him know what I think about this stuff," and then never do, I urge you to really do it this time. Think about what you've read, and let me know the results.

I'll be looking forward to hearing from you. Write me at cgalt08@yahoo.ca Remember, that's .ca at the end, not .com. We Canadians like to be different.

Meanwhile, Turnabout Series Two won't be around right away, but it will be here eventually. I humbly ask your patience, and thank you for joining me in this first series.

Chris