So, we got an expected yet still disappointing result in Toronto with Matt's family, and as much as I knew it crushed him, and in turn, crushed me, I had to be strong as steel for Matt. On the bus ride back to the university, I did the best I could keeping the conservation as superficial as possible. Asked him about his love of football, the weather (wow lots of weather talk), our past semester, our upcoming move, and then a sad look came across his face.
"What's wrong Matty?"
"It just hit me that I really have no place to go for the Christmas Break. I mean I guess my grandmother could pay for a hotel, but I am essentially homeless now."
"No your not, your coming home with me." Fuck! What have I just done? I mean, I cannot just bring Matt home with me without explaining us. Damn it. Oh fuck, Matt is looking at me. It must be the look on my face. Must say something. Say anything Jared.
"Are you sure."
"Yeah, totally, I mean, it's us now, and I am not leaving you by yourself for Christmas." I was totally trying to cover up how freaked I really was now.
"Jared, the look on your face right now reminds me the first time we met. I had just came into your room and introduced myself as your bog mate. You had this total look of fear and being overall uncomfortable."
"Matt, I am sorry but..."
"Wait, don't apologize to me. It's one of the things that I love about you. I mean not that fact that you were totally uncomfortable, but the fact that I could look into your eyes and know how you were feeling. It took me a while to realize how important this was, and really didn't until we were apart how special and connected I feel towards you."
"This is why you are coming how with me out east Matt. I love you so much, and I really can't stand to be separated from you for that long. It also doesn't help the fact that I won't be able to enjoy myself knowing that you are stuck in some fucking hotel room for Christmas. It is settled, you are going to pack your stuff and put it in my u-haul and we are going to the Atlantic Ocean together."
For the rest of the bus ride, we didn't say anything. We really didn't need to. He had his arm around my shoulder, and I just laid into his chest like it was the only position that was normal for us. Sure there were a few stares from the people around us, but Fuck them, I was with the man I loved, I longed for and desired for, and being near him made me feel so comfortable in addition, safe.
We made it back to the university, and I had to make some calls. Calls to home, calls to potential landlords, calls altogether. Matt was occupied for the most part running errands such as getting boxes to pack his stuff, as I had kept my boxes from moving in (yes I know how anal retentive that sounds, but hey that is me.), packaging tape, tying up other loose ends.
I was just finishing off one of these phone calls when Matt walked in the door with an arm load.
"and I will see you when we arrive. Thank you." and I hung up the phone.
"Jare, who was that?"
"Oh Matty, that was one of the potential landlords we could be renting from. I did some calling and we have to be in Moncton in three days at 9 am, so look at three vacant apartments right away. If we find one we like, we can move in immediately."
"Hey, I thought you were going to do that over the break. I mean, not rush into anything, and all that Jazz. I mean, what's up."
"Ok, here's the plan. First, off I know I won't be able to hide my feelings when we arrive at my house, and knowing that puts me in a really awkward situation."
"Oh, I see, so you a re going to put me in this apartment in a strange city, while you go home and pretend that I don't exist. What the fuck! I mean, I just lost my family, and now you are going to pretend nothing is going on." He was pissed
"Wait a sec, That's not what I ..."
"I don't believe you Jared... I need to take a walk...."
"Matty, just stop for a ..."
"Don't you Matty me." and he walked out and slammed the door.
I started to cry. He was so angry, and he had no right to be. I thought I was doing the right thing, but he wouldn't even listen. I wasn't sure if I was angry or sad, or what it was. I know I was definitely confused, because I was about to tell him that I was going to come out to my family, but he wouldn't even let me explain.
I started packing some of my stuff, and was going good at it for about an hour. I had thought bout several times, and physically has to stop myself once not to go out after him. I think I was doing totally ok, until I hit our pictures together and then I lost it. I just started crying, but this fit only lasted a minute, then the rage had set in, and I threw one of our pics against the wall. The one constant of my whole life up to that point, was that timing was everything, because as that picture hit the wall; Matt had entered through the door, still quite angry.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing Jared?
"Shut up. Now I get to talk. You left here without even listening. I was going to tell you we had to fucking look at apartments in Moncton in three days, because I was fucking going to come out to my parents, and if it fucking didn't go all right, we could at least have a place to stay in addition, spend Christmas together, you stupid ass. You fucking didn't even trust me enough to think that I was going to leave by yourself. I know I love you and I always will, but I really don't like you right now. You have turned something, which I thought was going to be monumental, and made me feel so bad, and ashamed and hurtful of myself, for hurting you, when in reality I did nothing wrong. I will be in your room, just trying to chill out and say something I may fucking regret."
"I have never heard so much profanity before." He was trying to crack a joke. Was he serious. I mean come on.
"Now is not the right time Matt."
The look on his face went from a quarter smiles, to a complete look of worry. Good, he should be worried. "I am so sorry Jared."
"Just give me a little time."
"Hell no, we are going to discuss this now. I cannot have you go into our chamber, and fume about this. We are going to get this out in the open. Jared, I am so sorry. I have been so insecure the last couple days it's not even funny. I have always been so confident and sure of myself, but you know what. That was because I was always able to keep the things that some would classify as vulnerable inside. But with you, Jare, I have been completely open and honest with you and that scares me. I mean, I have lost the people I have ever 'cared' about, and if I manage to fuck things up with you, then what."
"Being vulnerable Matt is not a bad thing you know. I t lets me know the real you, not just the pompous, arrogant, confident Matt. But believe me, the only way you will ever lose me is if you die. One way you could die to me is if I can't trust you. Then you will be dead to be me. I need us to be honest, and I need you trust that I will treat you the same."
"I know, but it's so hard. I have never had to be open to anyone before. It was scary."
"You're right, it's absolutely petrifying, I know, I haven't had to be open with anyone either including myself, but I know in my heart, that as long as I do things knowing that I love you, things will be alright."
"How'd you get so wise Jared?"
"No fucking clue, you must bring the best out of me." I started to giggle.
"Come here you sexy, sexy man." and he came over and kissed me. I knew what he had on his mind and I know this will shock you, but so did I. Real Make up sex. I only thought it was a TV concept, but the passion that we had in that kiss, led me to second-guess that theory?
We started undress each other, first teasingly, but then we were getting a little too in to it, that teasing turned into torture and that wouldn't be cool. As Matt was kissing my neck, the words "I need you in me." came from nowhere.
"What are you sure?"
"Yes, I love you and I want to feel me in you."
"It may hurt though."
"We are equal partners, and I want to experience you making love to me. I don't care that it will hurt, because I know you will be gentle and I trust you." nothing more was said, First he walked over and got the lube and lubed one finger up.
"AAAAH!" It was fucking cold.
"I told you payback would be a bitch." I went and twisted his nipple, instead of hurting, I think that turned him on even more. He then went in working that finger into me. Then it hit me. "OOOOH" He had found my love button. Wow, I have sure been missing out. "More please." I said then, and with that, I had two of fingers up my ass, then three. After a little more exploration Matt said, "Are you ready?"
"Oh yeah, Giv'er"
He lifted the lower back to his knees, and got ready for the entry where he replaced his fingers with his cock and slowly went into may ass. A third of the way in, I noticed a little bit of resistance, and that's when matt stopped and I got used to it. It hurt, it was burning, but I knew that I had to keep going. After a bit, the pain had subsided and I knew I needed more. "MORE!"
He went al the way in, and then he stopped and let me get used to the feeling. when I was ready I did something I knew even thought of, but my body did any way. I started to lift me ass up and down. This signalled him, that I was ready and he starting pumping my ass with long and slow strokes with his hard cock out of my ass.
In and Out up and down, Matt was sure good with this, and was awesome at hitting my g-spot. Then the look of Matt's face was more intense, and with a moan, I screamed "Faster, Harder." Oh and he complied. Boy did he ever, I mean man, he was fucking me with some speed and pace now, and I thought it would of hurt, but man did it ever feel good. We were loud, and totally present in it, and before I knew it Matt was starting to stiffen up when the all too knowing phrase "I'm CUMMMING!" came out of his mouth, and gobs of his white man goodness came out of the cock.
I was aching, and wanted so much to blow my load and started to whack myself off. Once Matt got over is orgasm, he pulled out of me and said, "allow me." he then went down and starting to suck my 8 inch cock and I think he only bobbed down three times before I came and man did I ever cum. I mean, I was really worried that Matt would drown, but he drank all the cum I gave him, except for the little bit seeping out of the corner of his mouth.
"Oh man, that was awesome, as I went down and licked his face clean. We were totally spent and had an awesome time doing it.
For the rest of that day and the next, we spent it hurrily packing and closed all ties to the area. The few friends we still had took us out for dinner, and we had a last night out. We were all packed and ready to hit the road and I did one last look around at our rooms. This is where our love began and started to grow. It will be hard work, but I know that we can keep this out east. I know things are going to be hard, and in some instances, people will suck, but with Matt as my rock, and I his, I just know deep in my heart we will be ok.
I know that I have been through so much since I came here in the past four months. Well we both have, but I am not the same person that I was four months ago. Sure, I may ave a lot fo the same characteristics I did when I started, but hey four months was a long time, and I dealt with some heavy, heavy stuff. I guess, the saying is true, what kills you only makes you stronger, but wait, it was Matt that made me stronger. I know some of the stuff, was due to Matt, but we are together now, and I love him.
As we were getting in the U-haul, and getting ready to head for out east, I was thinking this and a tear came across my eye.
"Jare, are you ok, I thought you were going to be happy leaving, with all the abuse, and stupid shit that went on here."
"But Matt, it is also the place where we met and fell in love. In time, I will forget the bad, but I will always remember this place for how we got together. I love you."
"I love you too."
"Let's go Matt."
More to come: Adventures of a new region and a new school to come, but first Jared confronts his parents. How will they take it? Stay tuned. I thought about it, and even though it seems like a perfect place to end this, I have some more tricks up my sleeve that I am not ready just quite yet to leave these two.... I may regret this in a couple chapters, but I don't think I will.