Sorry about the delay in this chapter, but this was a very difficult chapter for me to write. As you may have guess, this is based on a true story, most of the concepts are factual with different names and locations and dates to keep this story from pointing who this is about. However, here it goes...
It lasted about a week; I guess it seemed like longer but the desk calendar stated 7 days so it must be right. I was with Matt the whole time in those days, we probably went to a combined three classes that week, and most of the time spent on exploring each other physically, mentally and spiritually. I felt like I had known him forever.
As I explored him physically, we often exchanged oral sex, be it a long passionate 69 so we could drowse off to sleep or it a quick suck in the shower as after about day 3 we both really reeked of sex. There was this one instance where I had to go pay my monthly dorm rent, and I was out of cheques so I had to go pay in person, and when I got back, the most spectacular thing was waiting for me.
The room was lit with candles (this was impressive due to the strict fire issues in the dorm, but Matt was a quite clever person). I mean there must have been 50-100 candles lit all over my room. I stood there and thought to myself What is Matt up to?' as all the hectic events the past few days, and with this room filled with romantic light, the corner of my eye started to tear up. It was probably one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen in my life. Once I got past the candles, I noticed the bed, my computer and my desk. The bed was made, which is probably the first time in a week that was done, Vivaldi's Four Seasons' was playing in the back room, and the desk was set with a white table cloth with a table setting for two with two red roses sitting in a tiny beer bottle (good old campus living) in the center.
I stood there in awe, a felt a pair of strong muscly arms come around my waist. "Hey handsome." Matt said, and as I looked around to see him, I noticed him in a tuxedo. He looked stunning. I had never worn a tuxedo, but I am sure that there was no one that would look better in that penguin suit.
"What is all this for Matt?" I mumbled out, still in overload with my present surroundings. "It's for you.' That sent me over the edge and I lunged at him, and attacked him with my mouth. We kissed the most passionate kiss that I probably could have imagined. It was like, we could not have enough of each other. Several moments later, we broke, and Matt asked me to sit down.
The Main course was Lasagna, just ordered from the local Pizza/Italian restaurant with Apple juice (yeah that is right) as a drink. The conversation was beautiful, and just as he was asking about dessert, I jumped up and said, "You're all the dessert I need."
I took him to the bed, he laid me down and we starting kissing. Kissing, fondling, our hands explored every single inch as we were playing an extreme match of tonsil hockey, this was the decisive moment. I knew he was waiting for me to make the first move, and I shove off his jacket, and slowly but sensually started to unbutton his shirt. One button after another, until his chest was exposed open. It was beautiful, traces of a six-pack were showing and it sent me off. I could have enough of his skin. He smelled like nothing I had smelled before but I could not get enough. The small of his neck just called me and I gave some attention to that. I think, I gave to much attention to that area, as there was a nice little reminder left there, and then I went down to his nipples, first the left than the right, massaging them, licking them with my tongue. These glorious objects on his body were there and I could not get enough. However, Matt decided he wanted to explore as well.
He pulled my shirt over my head, and just stood back and stared. He must have stared for seconds but it seemed like hours. I asked, "Is something wrong" as I was starting to getting a little insecure and he said, "The only thing wrong is that you are so damn beautiful it hurts." Then he went to my chest, fondling, and licking down the traces of my ever-present treasure trail all until it hit the waistband of my boxers just sticking out of the top of my tear-away track pants. Needless to say, those pants did not stay on much after that. One quick swipe and they were off. Just me with my bulge in my boxer shorts. I was quite happy to see Matt.
As I pulled him up to continue the kissing, I noticed that he was rubbing quite hard through the material of my boxers. I also noticed, he was quite strained in his jeans. Now there is only one way to fix that problem and I went down, unzipped his zipper, and released him of the strain. However, Matt must have been expecting this, as for when I unzipped out came his 7" hard cock. The commando feeling must go for him, but I wasn't complaining.
His cock was beautiful. I don't think there is a better way to describe it. A nice cut, long, hard, thick cock with the smallest amount of pre-cum resting on the top of the cock. I was mesmerized with this, until couldn't stand looking at it much more and I attacked it. "Easy Tiger" as I started to gag. Guess I was a little to eager, but hey, I just couldn't resist. I was still quite new at this. However, I started sucking slowly first just around the head, then licking down the shaft, while playing with his hung balls. After a little, I noticed the most beautiful feeling around my cock, as if a great big fleece sweater just immersed it. I know it's an odd description but that's how it felt. I looked down and saw Matt sucking my cock too. It was awesome, too awesome for words. We went on like that for what seemed like hours of pleasures (but in reality, it was about 10 minutes) until us, both exploded somewhat simultaneously in each other's mouth. Then before I could swall ow his delectable gift, he came up and kissed me and we exchanged the fluids before digesting.
After that intense lovemaking, the only words that were said was "wow" which happened periodically until I could get my wits about me. Once that occurred, I told Matt "if I didn't love you already, that sure sealed the deal.' With that, we both fell asleep.
I really wished life could let things be perfect for that long. However, the `honeymoon' only lasted about two weeks. In those two weeks, we ate together, hung out together, I even went to his football games until one afternoon after calculus class.
"Hey Matt, are you there?' as I knocked entering through his bog door. I noticed that there were several guys in his room with him, guys I recognized from the football team and that were in my Calculus class that seemed to have a pick on me due to my superior ability in mathematics (which by the way I would assume by only a high school trait but whatever. Matt replied "Hey." then as I was about to say that I would leave him to his friend's one of the goons replied "Hey Fag."
I stood there in shock, but being the bigger man, I just walked out without responding. As I was leaving the room through the bog, I overheard the jocks asking Matt "Why are you always letting the cocksucker hang out with you. I mean its bad enough you have to share a bog with him, but encouraging that faggot like that will only get him perving on you." Another one replied, "I mean the guy's a loser and really I don't see why you waste your time." I waited in the bog for several minutes after and Matt said nothing. Eventually they started talking about the football party this weekend and I left. It hurt a lot. I mean I guess if Matt was staying in the closet, it would be hard to defend my honour but it still hurt just the same.
I gave Matt a little space for the rest of the day and hung out with my other friends. I had been neglecting them, so it was a great opportunity to chat it up with them. I made sure purposely that I would arrive back to my room late , so I wouldn't have to deal with Matt, but when I got to my room, and looked at my bed, I noticed that Matt was asleep snoring. Even though I wanted to I just couldn't sleep in that bed with him, so I walked over my friend jenn's room that was home for the weekend (who leaves her door unlocked by the way) and slept in her bed.
The next day, I decided that I really understood why Matt didn't say anything and I could face him. As I walked back into my room, Matt was waiting on my bed "Where the fuck was you last night."
"In jenn's room"
"Why were you there, I waited for you and worried this morning when you weren't with me." I was a little pissed now so I told him the truth.
`I couldn't face you yesterday Matt"
"What are you talking about Jared?"
"I overheard the suggestions your football kronies were saying about me yesterday"
"You were spying on me"
"No (I was laying a little), in case you didn't realize you left the door open."
"FUCK!, I am so sorry about them."
"It's not them that bothered me , they're morons in my opinion, it's the fact you said nothing in my defence, nothing. I know you don't want to come out of the closet Matt, but even saying we're friends shut up would have been nice. But I got no defence."
"I am so sorry Jared."
Just then, I thought I heard a noise.
"Did you hear that?"
"What.."
"Never mind, its just that I love you Matt, and it really hurt that I had to hear those things and you couldn't even say shut up."
At that moment, I heard Matt's door slam shut. I looked over, and saw that the bog door was open.
"Fuck! Someone was here, they heard everything."
"Damn it"
A couple days went by, we were a little paranoid, but no rumours were floating around, no more than usual fag comments were sent my way, who it was in the room wasn't talking. To be on the safe side, Matt and I were not seen together in public until we were sure that this pulled over.
That night, as I walking back from the library from a group project meeting, I heard someone calling `hey Fag". It was the same four football people from Matt's room earlier in the week. I kept walking... and picked up my pace.
"Fag, we're talking to you." I stopped and looked at the loud one of the group. It was dark and there seemed to be no one around as I was on the football field in the dark with these four people (as the shortcut from the library to my dorm was through the football field.)
"I heard you talking to Matt, the other day professing your sick love to him. What are you fucking stupid?"
"Fuck!" that's all I could say.
"Matt's as fucking straight as they come cocksucker, I knew you were a cocksucker, but when I heard it, I got validation."
"What do you mean?"
"Well I am going to get you to stay away from Matt."
"Ok"
"We'll you see fag, I don't think it's that easy. You've got to learn that actions have consequences, and so I and the guys are going to help you with that lesson."
With that the first punch was thrown, first the face, then the gut, I got a knee to the balls, I tried fighting back and got a few punches in (told later that I broke the loud person's nose), but it was useless. Four versus one, I couldn't do anything about it. ` After a few minutes, the pain was so constant, that it was numb from the new punches. I could taste the blood but I stayed awake. After the people had roughed me up enough, they left and I fell to the soccer field and just cried. Twice in a month, a record for me.
I stayed that way for a few minutes until one of the girls from my dorm, found me and helped me back to the dorm. She kept insisting I see a doctor, or the police, but I said I didn't want to involve them that I just wanted to go back to my room. Once there, she said "I'll at least go get Matt.." and before I could object, he was already answering the door.
"Jared, what the fuck happened to you."
"I fucking walked into a parked car, what does it look like happened to Me." with that Matt got the girl from the dorm to leave and shut and locked his door and mine.
" Who did this to you?"
"Why the fuck is you asking me so many stupid questions Matt, you know who did this to me, the same guy that over heard the conversation a couple days ago, and the same guys who warned you to stay away from me.
"Fuck!"
"Matt, don't fucking worry, they only heard the last part where I said I love you and not were you said it to me. They just think that I am perving on you. They warned me to stay away from you."
"Jared, maybe you should. I mean I don't want you to get hurt because of us."
"Matt, maybe you should come out and say that we're friends at least or come out altogether."
"I can't do that...what will happen. God I am on the football team."
"What!!!!!! This coming from the guy who had been with guys before , where people in Toronto knew you were out, the guy who said that he couldn't do it alone, the guy who I professed my love and I got the shit kicked out of me. Oh I forgot how important those football guys are to you compared to me. What the fuck are you talking about?"
"It's not that easy. Its different at home, most of my friends were gay or at least bi or had a relative that was, here it's the whole small town mentality."
"Don't give me that shit Matt, look at me."
He couldn't "I took a severe beating for us tonight, because I love you, and you won't do anything."
"I didn't say that."
"Then what are you going to do Matt?"
He was silent. "That's what I thought."
"Jared, it feels like you are breaking up with me, but I love you."
"Do you, sadly love just isn't enough in this case is it. Matt, I used to feel safe with you, that we could conquer the world together, but I guess its not meant to be" I could a tear on his cheek. `Matt, I love you, or at least the guy I thought you were, but I see you differently and I don't know if I will ever see you in the same light. If you don't mind, I am asking you to leave."
"But Jared..."
"Get the fuck out now!"
With that, he left, and the night's events hit me. I was in so much pain (yay for adrenaline to get me through that talk with him), and I had just lost a guy I really loved, and I couldn't control it anymore and started to cry. I went over to the bog, locked that door and just started to cry.
Remember the first incident where I was in my room for a few days and I wasn't sure what to call it, we'll the doctors called the next three days a minor nervous breakdown. I was never so low in my life. Anxiety attacks, depression, uncontrollable rage, it was all there but then the confusion set in and I was a barrel of nerves. After three days of solitude I went to the doctor's as I convinced myself that I was having a heart attack (Yay anxiety attacks!). After checking me over physically, the doctor gave me some pills to stop the shaking and clam myself, down. (I am still on meds now to control hyper anxiety (as it is one of the forms of ADHD) even though they are very low dose)).
One the way back from the clinic I saw Matt. He just looked at me and gave me a faint smile. I turned away and did three drastic things:
I went to the administration and filed a complaint on the four guys. After about a month, the guys were suspended for the remainder of the school year (the entire second semester.)
I called one of the schools out east that was offering me a huge scholarship before I chose this school and asked to transfer. When they found out that my marks were high (surprising with all that happened to me I finished the semester with a B+ average )and I was leaving on a personal issue, they happily accepted. Sadly, there was no scholarship, but I knew I couldn't be at that school anymore. In a weird way except for in the love department, it was the best decision I ever made. It could have been full of regrets in retrospect, but I knew I could never be truly happy there.
Threw myself in my studies for the remainder of the time. That was all that I had left and I made the most of it. I would see Matt daily in the bog, or around the dorm, or in class, the most that would be said was "hey". Sad looks were all that he gave me and I am sure my looks were not much happier to him.
Two weeks before final exams, I decided at our last floor meeting in the door to break the news that I was transferring out to the school out east. I didn't give much specifics, but I got a lot of "no, that sucks; and I'll miss you with hugs." but I think the look that Matt gave me, the devastated, my whole world is falling apart look, broke my heart over again, and he left the room. After talking to the guys on my floor, I went back to my room and found a sad Matt sitting on my bed with his head in his hands...
A longer one this time... More to come.