Twenty Years

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It was well past midday when we sat on the sofa in my living room, not with coffee but with a glass of chilled white wine. We had each other's semen in our asses and happy to have it. To be sure we could finally talk and not be distracted by our mutual nakedness, we had put on our jeans. We told each other what had happened in our lives during the twenty years we had lost contact. It was interesting to see the parallel there was. We had very similar experiences, both professional and personal. We had moved houses and changed cars, but all that almost always at the same times. None of us had ever left town and it was quite extraordinary that our paths had never crossed in all these years. Nonetheless, the persistent elephant in the room was not killed yet: his marriage and why he said he married Darren because I was not in his reach. I had to ask him.

-In one of your messages on Wednesday, you wrote you married Darren because I was not around...

-Indeed! First let me explain my marriage with Darren. At the moment I met him, I was alone. There was no boyfriend or anything of the kind. I met him in a gay-bar... Where else? We looked at each other and there was a definite click. I was still in my promiscuous period and when I wanted sex, I had it. I didn't care much about the status of people such as married, in relationship, committed or no. Sex was sex and most of the time there was not even a repeat session of any kind. Jeez... I had sex with guys without even talking to them or asking for their name. The same night I met Darren I took him home and we had quite good sex, nothing out of this world, just good. I thought that after the sex he would dress and leave, but he didn't. As soon as he reached his orgasm, he turned around and fell asleep. I had many flaws, I admit it, but I was not going to wake him up and throw him out. In the morning I even offered him coffee and breakfast. After that we met several times and he was fun to have around when we were bar-hopping. We started to know each other better and I liked him. I didn't fall in love with him at all and never did. At that time I had bought my apartment with three bedrooms and had the financial means to decorate it well and have all I needed or wanted. By the way, it is still the same apartment where you came to dinner. When one day he told me that he was coming from another country and was about to be deported because his visa ran out, he was devastated. He didn't want to go back to his country, where you could still get in prison for being gay. He told me his quest for a girl who would marry him so that he could stay here, but most of the people who did that, paid quite some money to the girl, and he didn't have that kind of financial possibility. He whined and sobbed and cried and was in a total mess. I was probably in one of my good days and I said I would marry him to avoid deportation. At first he didn't believe me and explained to me all the inconveniences that were related to such a marriage, as there was a lot of control on fake marriages. I won't say we had to pass an exam, but it was close to it. We had separated interviews with people from town-hall. During the interviews, our answers had to match a hundred percent. We studied our answers during days and days before that interview.

Mike took a sip of his wine before going on.

-As you can imagine, our interviews were convincing enough. We were, of course, expected to live together at the same address and we would even get controls. We were well aware of that. We were also told that if there was a divorce before the completion of ten year marriage, the former deportation would be applied. We accepted all the weird conditions imposed on us, just because he was of another nationality than mine. Darren moved in with me, but slept in another bedroom. We always made sure the beds were made up, in case one of the controls would drop by. In fact, we never had any control at all. Darren applied for our nationality and after five years, he received it. Whenever we were horny we had sex and more than once he slept in my bed instead of his. As soon as we were married, he found a job and even participated in the general maintenance of the household. We were husbands, yes, but we became very good friends as well. Darren showed a lot of respect and proved to be trustworthy. I was still not falling in love with him and one day he asked me why. I couldn't answer straight away. The question was in my head and didn't leave me. I gave it a lot of thought. He even asked me if I was still in love with an ex-boyfriend and I impulsively said no. I looked back at the guys I had had an affair with, but none of them persuaded me of any feelings that would justify the fact I couldn't fall in love with Darren, till you showed up in my mind. The more I thought about you, the more I was convinced that I had let you go and that it had been a huge mistake. I talked about you with Darren. I could see he was deceived that I had found the real reason for not falling in love with him. He admitted later that he secretly hoped I would reach a point to find no reason at all and that I would change my mind. He was honest about it. Once he definitely knew there was no chance, he started to make suggestions of ways to find you. You can imagine that his suggestions were not successful. It is only recently that another friend of mine suggested to look on Facebook. I didn't even have an account as I am not really a fan of the social medias. One evening Darren took me by the hand and together we created my account, put the necessary information on it, as well as a picture. I couldn't do anything else than to write that I am married and put pictures of Darren and me, just in case the control guys of town-hall would happen to see my profile. And that's how you found me before I even tried to find you on that page.

Wow! That was quite a story, wasn't it? It suddenly all made sense. Quite a lot of questions got their answer. The BIG question that was still running in my head like Speedy Gonzalez, was the fact that he wasn't really faithful to his ex boyfriends and that worried me enough to bluntly ask him about it.

-Yes, you are right. I would even say I haven't been faithful to one of them. It is general knowledge that the absolute majority of gays are promiscuous and I considered it a normal behavior. The only excuse I have now and not at the time I was in any kind of relationship, is that I was just not in love with them. At that time I was not concerned at all with what they wanted or longed for. Till I met Darren, I haven't been alone, literally speaking, for more than a month. I just hated it to come home to an empty house. I needed a presence more than once, a one-night-stand was enough to get me trough the week. A few guys that I considered as husband-material, stayed longer. Each time that happened, I really thought I had found the right one. Time would tell me I was wrong. When I realized they were not the one, I immediately went to look for another guy, hoping he would be what I was looking for. Just the circumstances with Darren brought a drastic change in all that. Even if we slept in separate rooms, I didn't feel like taking someone home. I had the strong suspicion that Darren was falling for me and I didn't want to deliberately hurt him. With time I had less encounters for one night. I talked about that with Darren and when he mentioned that I didn't need to find a new guy every week-end because the house was never empty as he was living with me, finding a new guy was no longer my priority. It took me a long time to realize that there was no need for me to be promiscuous and change partners. I have to say that Darren has been a wonderful friend and helped me discover who I really am. People say you can't help someone who doesn't want help and it is true. More important though is that you can't help someone who doesn't realize he has a problem. Darren opened my eyes, subtly and persistently. He made me realize that once I would find the right one for me, I would most probably be the most faithful guy on the planet. When we had the conversation about you, he asked me if I would go back to my old habits and cheat on you. It was a clear and loud "NO". It is also Darren who made me see the necessity of being honest with myself, ask myself the right questions and giving honest and sincere answers. He is the one who told me that once I would be totally honest with myself, I would discover the pleasure and satisfaction to be honest with others. You can't believe how right he was and still is.

I wanted answers and I received them and even a bit more of what I expected in the first place. I was discovering a new Mike who was way better than the one I knew twenty years ago. The fears and the doubts I had before he arrived that morning, were dissipating like the night fog in the morning sun. I just crossed my fingers that the bit of blue sky I saw that morning, would turn into a full blue sky. I was not naïve and knew that Mike would have to show me indeed that what he told me was true. What I noticed though was that the whole time he told me all these things, he was constantly looking me straight in the eyes, without even blinking once.

-Ok... you made me see your feelings even before you started to talk Mike and you even understood that the feelings maybe are not hundred percent equal, but at least ninety. We honestly and sincerely admit we are falling for each other and I can tell you already that it makes me happy. The question is what will happen with Darren when (and not if) we decide to go for it all the way? When I say go all the way, I mean that we go for a committed relationship. I tell you right now that I won't accept any cheating.

-I hope you won't, because I will not accept it either. You used the right words: a committed relationship. What will happen to Darren? Nothing! I won't divorce him except if you absolutely want a marriage. For my part, I don't need a paper from people who give a damn about my happiness, to show you every day I love you. Darren and I are almost at the end of our ten-year-trial. He knows that I appreciate him enormously. He has my respect and my trust. But he also knows I don't love him in the way he wants me to. I repeat it: I am not in love with him. I am in love with you. I am sure that Darren will find his Mr.Right... the man he will fall in love with and who will give him all that love in return. Darren and I were made to be best friends, but nothing more. Yes, we had sex together at the moment I needed it or that he was tired of asking service to his right hand. He knew form the start that it was always sex for sex and not lovemaking. I don't doubt a fraction of a second that when I tell him we found each other, he will respect that and not even ask me to have sex with him. That's why we are friends.

-Do you consider it that a committed relationship includes living together?

-Of course I do! I can't imagine it any other way. I don't say I will move in with you tomorrow or that you come and live with me, but it is something we will talk about to see where and when we'll do it. Meanwhile there is nobody who forbids us to sleep together ever night, being it at my place or here. We'll have to see what is the most practical and most economic way to find the proper arrangement. We are adults and we should act like ones. I just know I will want to make love to you as much as I can. We stupidly lost twenty years of happiness and I know it is my fault. I sincerely apologize for that. Now that we have put things in their right place, I really don't want to loose more time.

-I wouldn't say we stupidly lost twenty years. At the moment we met we were not ready for what we can do now. Destiny has put everything in the right place at the right moment. Destiny always does that. It is for us to want to see it and make the appropriate decision according to what we know today. What happened in the past can't be changed and I don't even think there is a reason to change anything at all. We needed all the experiences we have lived to realize what we can have from now on. There is no stupidity in that.

Mike drew nearer to me, took my face in his hands and softly kissed me. He knew the art of kissing and putting his feelings in it. It moved me deeply. I just hoped he could feel mine, too. I knew then and there that Mike and I would get old together. I didn't know how I knew it, but I did. Call it intuition if you want. That day we laid very solid foundations for our future. The structure we would build on them, our relationship, needed to be that strong so as to be able to face whatever was coming our way. We would never had been able to do that twenty years ago.

Mike's stomach made a rumbling noise. We had made love, twice, and talked for hours, forgetting completely to eat something. I had never thought we would have the day turning out so well. Before Mike's arrival, I was sure we would talk for maybe an hour and that he then would leave. It had been different. I had everything necessary in the fridge to make a beef-stew, but that had to be quite a long time on the stove, but Mike and I were hungry now. We went to the kitchen and I made some sandwiches that we ate while I prepared the stew. Mike found that an excellent idea and suggested that while the stew was cooking, we would have time to go back to the bedroom and entertain ourselves. I couldn't agree more. We made love for the third time in less than eight hours. This time it was softer, more erotic. The urge we had felt that morning was replaced by a more romantic way of pleasing each other. There were even more feelings involved. We looked each other in the eyes more. The kissing was slower but more meaningful. Our hands were roaming over our bodies as if they discovered something new and in a certain way, they did. We tasted our cocks, licking them, sucking them, getting every single drop of pre-cum, swirling our tongues over the cock-head and keep the nerve-endings alive. I sucked on his scrotum and rolled his balls in my mouth and Mike mimicked my actions to the point that we were mirror-images of each other. The ass 69 drove us crazy with pleasure, using tongues and fingers, entering each other till we were both so dilated that a complete hand could go inside. We really took our time and even more when Mike entered me, touching all those places inside that made me yell out my desire for him, but didn't ejaculate in me... he wanted to feel me inside of him as well and I obliged. For both of us it became an obsession to please the other, creating pleasures we never felt before. It was so satisfying that none of us wanted it to end but the bodies have limits that cannot be crossed without an eruption of sperm. I was laying on Mike and we were experiencing the wonderful sensation of two bodies gliding over one another with the lubricant that was our sweat. Our cocks were trapped between our bellies after experiencing every hole we had. Cocks pressed together, hard as rock and extremely sensitive, hot as burning coals and longing to release our loads while we kissed as if there was no tomorrow. We orgasmed together, mixing our seeds with the movements of our bodies and coating our nether regions. We kept on kissing long after our cocks were flaccid again, laying on each other and feel the energies flowing from one to the other, hoping our cocks would come back to life and go on with what we were doing. But after having cum so much already, we needed a bit more time to recuperate. We talked softly, more whispering than talking, about what we wanted to do, what we wanted to achieve together.

We wondered what friends and families would think about our being together, although their opinions would not affect us. The only thing that was really important to us was how we were going to mix two lives that up till now had been so different, but similar at the same time. During that soft talking we realized we were often finishing each other's sentences, each time laughing at how similar our minds were thinking and expressing themselves. We agreed to leave the past behind us and not look back on it. For us, that day, was the first one of OUR history. We knew that our story was one worth to write a book about. The projects we wanted for a happy life, were accumulating and we started to doubt if we would have enough time to make them all come true. The first serious project for us was to find a Mr.Right for Darren. He had suffered enough to leave his country behind him, as well as his family and friends, and fall for a guy (Mike) who didn't love him equally or at least like he would have wanted it. He deserved to be loved.

When we finally left the bedroom, I went to check on my beef-stew. It was doing really well and the fragrance coming from it opened even more our appetite. Mike asked me if I would mind him to send a message to Darren, who was about to finish his work, and ask him to join us for dinner. I agreed, of course. If I wanted to scan all my friends to find a match for Darren, I had to know him better and there is nothing compared to a good meal to have a nice conversation and discover who was surrounding you. I suggested we would better be dressed instead of naked. We slipped on our jeans and a T-shirt just before the front door bell rang. I opened and Darren hugged me like an old friend although we had met only once before. He looked me in the eyes and I saw genuine concern and happiness for us. I also detected a kind of (healthy) jealousy, which was understandable. I was having with Mike what he had always wanted. I couldn't blame him. We had a pleasant evening and I had thought to have some left-overs for the next day, but that was now out of the question as Mike almost licked his plate clean after emptying the pan of stew. There was no doubt he liked it.

We had coffee and liquor in the living room. I tried to get as much information from Darren as to know what he was looking for (except Mike) and what he was hoping to find in man. The first thing I deduced of what he was saying, was that he wanted a total and hundred percent top. He was active in his sexual game, but not interested at all in penetrating a guy. The top he was looking for would be someone who was not only looking for sex. Darren wanted a meaningful relationship, with love, feelings and a mental and spiritual connection and common interests. I could very well understand him as I had been looking for someone like that as well and found him in the person of Mike. We still had a lot to discover about each other, but as mentioned before, the foundations were laid. I liked Darren a lot, although he was not the kind of man I would fall for, but as a friend he was a wonderful person. Around midnight he was realizing that two people were a company and three were a crowd. He went home kissing us both on the cheeks wishing us the best. I wouldn't say he went depressed, but he wasn't really happy either. We so wished he would find someone to love and be loved.

We went to bed, laying close to each other, caressing each other and talking about our dreams and our goals. The wandering hands had of course another effect than to just talk. Our cocks were begging for attention and their hardness was an obvious sign. We couldn't help it. We positioned ourselves in a 69 position and sucked each other leisurely off, keeping the other's fluids in our mouths and then kissing till everything was swallowed down. We slept like angels.

I woke up in the morning by Mike moving out of bed and going to the bathroom. When I heard his pis stream stop, I went to the bathroom to do the same. We were not ready yet to go through the complete bathroom routine and jumped back in bed, covered by the still warm duvet, allowing our selves to wake up slowly before starting our day. I have always been very much in morning sex. I think it is a wonderful way to start the day. It gives you a special energy that fades very slowly during the next hours. I made it clear to Mike as it was the first time we woke up together.

-Is that an invitation?

-If it isn't, it surely looks like one, isn't it?

His hand immediately travelled down and found my hard morning wood and he moaned.

-It isn't a written invitation, but it is as hard as a Bristol-card.

He disappeared under the duvet and I felt his moist and warm mouth on my genitals. He lavished them with a lot of spit. Not only my cock, but also my balls and taint. He was a real expert in it and I was already writhing like a fish out of the water. I opened my legs wide, making him understand my ass was available, too. He took the hint, of course, and he was driving me crazy with his expert tongue and hands. Before I even knew it, he had two fingers deep inside of me. I had had my share of fingers and cocks up my ass in the past and didn't really like the initial excruciating pain when somebody entered me. I didn't know how Mike did it, but there was no pain involved, nothing! I guessed he naturally found the right angle to enter me, being it with his fingers or manhood.

He came from under the duvet just to grab the tube of lube and coat his cock generously. The duvet was quickly thrown to the floor and I didn't hesitate to throw my legs in the air, keeping them there, holding them with my hands behind my knees. Mike positioned himself between my open legs and pointed his cock right on target, pushing his cock-head in and bent down to kiss me. It was no surprise he did it with passion. The more he kissed me, the more his cock entered me slowly till I felt his pubic hair tickling my ass-cheeks. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him even closer if that was possible. Not a muscle in his body moved, except for his hips as he began deep long thrusts in and out of me, increasing the speed and strength of them gradually. It didn't take long for me to feel his dick grow harder and even bigger and suddenly I felt the spasms of his cock, indicating me he was emptying his balls deep inside of my bowels. Just knowing he was giving me his seed, sent me over the edge and I coated our bellies with my own juices. It hadn't been a long session but it made me happy. The way Mike had made love to me while kissing me passionately gave our sexual activity a whole new dimension I had never experienced before.

We showered together and that was a hot moment as well. Jeez... I could really get used to it to wake up like that every morning! Each two mugs of coffee later and a healthy breakfast on the way, we talked more. Twenty years of daily happenings were enough to need a serious up-to-date. My story was a short one as I was working as a freelance writer for several magazines. I was working from home and had absolutely no use in going to any office at all. As long as I respected the deadlines, my earnings were safe. I was not rich, but had a steady income. I was a lucky guy as I could pay the incoming invoices without a problem, something not everybody could do. Mike told me that he had had a few lucky financial events. If he wanted, he didn't have to work a single day in his life again. Nonetheless, he did some Internet works, without giving me any details about them, that kept him busy, but they were not really a need for him to face invoices of various costs.

We suddenly realized we were actually as free as birds as long as we had a laptop and an internet connection. We both had our laptops and the connections were available all around the globe. We were among the very few lucky people in this sense, being able to travel and if we found a place we liked, we could stay away as long as we wanted to. We had very few obligations to respect as to keep our total freedom. The only "restraining" Mike had, was that he wanted to continue taking care of Darren for as long as he would be alone and I appreciated his loyalty towards his husband. Not everybody would do it.

Mike didn't see any problem to spend as much time with me as our jobs allowed us, but also asked me to include Darren in our lives, except when we re sleeping or making love. He assured me that Darren was quite a responsible and independent man and would probably refuse most of our invitations. What Mike wanted was that Darren would not feel rejected or abandoned. I couldn't agree more. Even if Mike insisted that he was not in love with Darren, I detected a lot of affection between them, an affection that had turned into real friendship with a lot of gratitude. Darren was grateful for Mike to have done the necessary to avoid being deported back to his country. Mike being grateful that Darren had opened his eyes at the right times. Their friendship was not affecting our beginning relationship, on the contrary. It made me see who Mike really was and what I saw in Mike was filling my heart with pride. Mike was truly a good man.

Laura dropped by unannounced. Of course, she knew I was meeting Mike on Saturday morning and wanted to know how things had gone. What do you want? She is a woman with her born curiosity. She didn't expect to meet Mike. All the indications till Friday night showed her I would get rid of Mike as soon as possible. She had no clue whatsoever about Mike's past and history. At first she was dubious about Mike being here and looked like she didn't know what to think. I invited her in and with Mike present, we sat at the kitchen island sipping our coffees. I told her the whole story and Mike nodded from time to time as to confirm what I was saying. He was a bit surprised that I had told Laura so much about him. I wanted Mike and I to have a totally transparent relationship and to have that, I didn't want to hide anything at all. I was responsible for what I had told Laura and said so to Mike. He only got up and came over to me to kiss me and say thank you. Yes, we were on the same wave length.

When the whole story was out, including the Darren chapter, she showed a genuine happiness for me and had no problem at all to show Mike her appreciation. When I started to prepare some lunch, I told Laura she had to stay and share our meal. She accepted on one condition: that we would accept a dinner invitation at her place later in the week. We accepted. The light lunch, consisting of a huge salad with smoked salmon, disappeared while we were talking. Mike was the charming man I had always known and Laura was soon under his spell. Time flew by quickly and when Laura left, it was as if we had been all three old friends that knew each other our whole life. Laura even insisted Darren should join us when we went for the promised dinner.

When we rang her doorbell later that week, I was surprised that it was a man who answered the door. First I thought I made a mistake and pushed the wrong button in the elevator, but he introduced himself as Markus, Laura's cousin. He was a good-looking man, height/weight proportioned, with jet-black hair and very nice greenish eyes. Darren, Mike and I introduced ourselves, handing over the two bottles of wine we had brought. Laura came out of her kitchen and greeted us with her usual enthusiasm, talking a thousand words a minute as if we hadn't seen each other for years. What she actually did was giving each of us, Markus included, a maximum of information about who was who, insisting strongly on the fact that Darren and Markus were bachelors. I started to wonder if there was a hidden purpose behind the invitation. Her cousin was at ease at Laura's pace and he was apparently the man responsible for the drinks. He served us all one before sitting down himself. The conversation was fluent and mixed with quite some laughter. I was sitting on the three-seater next to Mike with my right shoulder on his left one and our hand entwined. Darren was sitting to my left. Markus and Laura were each in a one-seater in front of us. Laura had her way to tell things and casually mentioned the fact that Markus was gay as well, but from out of town, just visiting and staying a few days with her. I started to strongly suspect she had invited him so that he could meet Darren.

Darren, surprisingly, opened up quickly and was a lot more talkative than what he usually was. In other circumstances, he was more of a shy type and it took time to have him mingle in any conversation, but not that night. He didn't hesitate to give Laura and Markus quite some information about himself and even his marriage with Mike and the reason of it. Markus listened with a lot of attention and even asked a few questions as to have a clear view on the situation. When Laura stood up to go to the kitchen, I followed her with the excuse to help her. I perfectly knew she didn't need any, but it was the perfect moment to ask her a few things more discreetly. I was my usual direct-self and asked her if she was, what we call here a "Celestina" which literally translated would be a matchmaker. She almost whispered her answer to me.

-Darren and Markus are both gay and lonely. What risk do we take to introduce them to each other? If Destiny has something `in petto' for them, than it is good to let it be.

She winked at me while she carried the meal to the table. It confirmed what I suspected. Her purpose was not only to have a nice dinner and night and if it brought two people together, she would certainly be overjoyed. That was Laura, always trying to make people happy and 'pushing' luck was not something she didn't know anything about. I had seen her doing it more than once, discreetly but nonetheless pushing...

Laura had always been a great cook and the meal was a very good proof of that. We enjoyed it immensely and if Mike had been alone, I knew he would have licked his plate clean. When we took everything to the kitchen to clean up, I insisted firmly that Mike would help us with the dishes. That would give Darren and Markus a little time alone and open some doors or windows. With the little I had seen and heard Markus, I thought that Laura's idea was not bad at all to make them meet. Physically, there were a contrasting but a cute couple. We could just hope that Destiny would give them a helping hand.

Around midnight we dropped Darren off at Mike's house. He didn't look depressed or unhappy like the day he came over at my place and had to leave Mike behind. We didn't know what had happened while we washed the dishes and that he was alone with Markus. He had a happy face, that was sure and that made Mike happy as well. He felt guilty to leave Darren alone so much and crossed his fingers that Laura had a good instinct by introducing two lonely hearts to each other.

Mike and I went to bed after a quick shower. We were in each other's arms, snuggled under the duvet and speculating about what could happen between Darren and Markus, while caressing each other as far as our hands could reach. I felt happy with Mike next to me and he said he was as well. He literally said that at last he had found peace in his heart and in his life.

-I guess you can imagine what it is to reach a goal. In the past I went from one bed to another and never felt that inner peace. We are sleeping together what? A week? And I feel so relaxed. I don't feel any anxiety anymore. It is as if I had been on a long journey and finally got home where I belong. Thank you so much for trusting me and I can promise you I won't betray you in any way.

-Could we say we just created a Mutual Gratitude Association? You are thanking me for a few things and I have to do the same and for the same things Mike. I would even say that we both saved each other's life. We were going to get crazy because of the loneliness. We both know that it was not a lack of sex. We still can get sex at every street-corner if we want to, but it doesn't give us satisfaction. There is such a huge difference between sex and making love and we are definitely making love together. I just cross my fingers that nothing will come in between of us.

-Who or what could do that?

-I don't know Mike. We can't change the past. The future is not something we can take for granted and that's why we have to live day by day and NOW, that's why it is called the present.

-You are getting philosophical at this time of the night? Oh my... You are full of surprises!

I started to tickle him and I didn't know he was soooo ticklish. He was yelling and screaming out loud and tried to escape my attack, but he couldn't as I was half laying on him. Mike is strong, but lost his strength with what I was doing to him. At one point I took his cock and balls in my hand and squeezed them not too hard. His laughter and hysteric behavior calmed down and he relaxed under my touch. He was catching his breath and I saw the opportunity to lower my head and take his manhood in my mouth. That calmed him down even more. It was a first for me to have his flaccid cock in my mouth and feel it grow to a full hard-on. I felt powerful to have that effect on him. His now known agility made him move till he had my cock in his mouth. It was not a rushed 69. It was softer and more romantic, enjoying the moment to the fullest till we mutually drank each other's fluids.

To be continued...

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