Disclaimer
All character in this story are fake and just a product of the imagination of the author. The Twilight title story line and characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. This is a fan's writing and I hope that everyone will enjoy it and feel free to email with comments and/or suggestions.
Chapter Two: Secrets and Mysteries
I awoke and half wished I hadn't, my whole body seamed to cry out in protest. My head and ankle screamed the loudest. I fought to keep my eyes open, Xander was there, he looked worried his face was tight it looked like he was in pain.
"Xander?" I said my voice was harsh and scratchy.
"I am here Jonathan." He responded.
"Are you okay Xander?" I asked. His perfect eyebrows went up in confusion. "You look like you're in pain." I explained.
"Jonathan, do not worry about me, I just hate to see you in pain." He said.
"I am okay, it doesn't hurt that much." I lied.
"Jonathan you don't have to be brave, it's okay." Xander said. "I will get the nurse to give you some more pain killers." He added. Soon after that I slipped back into unconsciousness.
I awoke with a start, feeling disorientated. A crash of thunder blasted me out of my thoughts, and I realized it was storming outside. A flash of lightening illuminated the room and I had to stifle a scream. Xander was staring at me just as still as a statue, almost glowing he was so white. We stared unblinking at each other till the light faded. When the next flash of lightening struck he was up and headed towards me, I was almost sure I had just hallucinated the whole thing.
"Jonathan are you okay, did the storm wake you up?" Xander said.
"Yeah I guess it did." I said.
"How are you feeling?" Xander asked.
"Fine I guess, I don't feel so great, but the pain doesn't seam to hurt so much either." I said. The storm continued to rage outside. "Xander what time is it?" It was so dark but I didn't have a real desire to turn on the lights.
"Just after midnight, you should try to get some more sleep." Xander said.
"Not just yet, I don't really feel sleepy yet." I insisted. Xander reached behind me and flicked on the lights, the room was filled with a yellowish light coming form behind my head. I looked into his beautiful face. "Xander can I ask you a question?"
"Well technically you just did." He said with a smile. "But sure ask away."
"Do you normally wear contacts?"
"No why?"
"Cause you eyes are much darker then normal, usually they are much lighter." I responded. His eyelids closed and he rubbed them with his finger tips.
"Must be all the florescent lights and stuff in here." He said quickly.
"Oh."
"Can I ask you a few questions?" he asked.
"Yeah sure ask away." I responded.
"Okay do you know why my mother had to have a court order for me to stay here with you?" Xander asked, he seamed angry about it. "After all we are both adults, you shouldn't need to have foster parents to make decisions for you." He added.
"Actually, legally, I am not an adult." I replied. "I am still seventeen, for about five more months" I explained.
"But you are in college."
"I graduated a year earl, mostly to get away form my Aunt and Uncle." I responded.
"Are they really that awful?" Xander asked.
"No they are just old fashioned and very very strict." I said. "My turn, how long have you been here with me?" I asked.
"Jonathan I haven't left your side, other then to use the restroom and stuff, since they brought you down on Saturday. That was four days ago." He said.
"Four days ago?" I was dumbfounded.
"Well you did have a pretty bad head injury." Xander said.
"What happened?"
"As I was examining your ankle, you suddenly passed out, I wasn't quick enough to catch you and you smashed your head into some rocks. I was scared I had killed you."
"You shouldn't feel like that Xander, you can't take the blame for me clumsiness." I responded.
"I am just glad you are getting better." He said.
"Thanks Xander, it's great to have you as my friend." I responded. My eyelids were getting heavy and I knew I would soon be asleep again.
"It's okay Jonathan, sleep now." Xander said.
I awoke the next morning and was still surprised to be in a hospital bed. I looked around and noticed that I was totally alone; a wave of sadness overtook me. I stifled the tears that threatened to fall. I had been so sure that Xander would still be there. The bright sunlight streamed in form the window. I was left with little to do for most of the day. Nurses checked on me but Dr. M and Xander never showed up. I feel asleep, but I don't know if I dreamed or not. I watched the last of the sunlight fade as twilight reached its shadowy hand into my room. My melancholy mood was quickly shifting into full on funk. There was a light knock on the door, I figured it was another nurse come to check on me.
"Come in." I called out.
"Well you are sounding better." My head snapped up so hard I thought I should have had whiplash. It was Xander.
"Xander?" I said in disbelief.
"Who else did you expect?" He said with a wide smile. I knew I was smiling stupidly but I couldn't get my face under control.
"Well you haven't been to see me all day." I whined, I wasn't sure if I was mad or just happy that he had finally shown up.
"Sorry about that Jonathan, I had some personal things that needed taken care of." He explained. He walked to the head of the bed and rested his hand on my forehead. "How are you feeling?" He asked.
"Fine." I said, as a small sigh escaped my lips. Xander's eyes raked my face to see if anything was wrong. "Your hand is nice and cool, it feels good. I explained.
"It's gotten a lot colder now that the sun has gone down." He said as he pulled his hand away. Xander plunked down into the chair by the head of the bed. "My dad should be in here soon, he is working the late shift tonight." He added.
"No wonder he hasn't been in to see me." I said.
"Oh poor baby, no one come to visit?" Xander said.
"No, no one." I said sadly.
"Wait your serious? Not even Danny has come to see you?" Xander sounded pretty surprised.
"I guess no one knows I am here yet. Either that or they don't care." I said quietly.
"I am sure that isn't the reason. I was sure that Danny would realize that you haven't come back from hiking."
"Why no one knew where I was." I said.
"WHAT?" Xander was obviously very upset, he took a deep breath. "You didn't let anyone know where you were going." He added.
"No I didn't think it mattered." I answered.
"What if I hadn't been there, with you?" Xander said. "You could have died and no one would have known about it." Xander looked like he was about to explode. "I can't believe you're telling me that absolutely no one knew you where you were?" He said through gritted teeth.
"What's the big deal? You were there, not where you say you were, but still there and you saved me." I said, I was pissed both at him, and at myself for knowing he was right about me, I had acted stupidly.
"And what if I hadn't been there?"
"Then I wouldn't have fallen trying to scream out your name." I responded smugly.
"Okay so for arguments sake, let's say I was half way up the cliff..."
"You were." I interrupted.
"Anyway..." Suddenly I was angry, very angry.
"YOU WERE THERE!" I screamed, his face was one of total shock. "AND I WON'T BE MADE OUT TO BE A LAIR OR CRAZY ANYMORE!"
"Jonathan, no one thinks you are crazy or a liar." Xander said trying to calm me down.
"That isn't true, you keep trying to tell me something that didn't happen but I know that it did." I felt myself start to lose it. "I know what I saw and I know what happened!" I sobbed. Xander placed his cold hand on either side of my face.
"Okay Jonathan, calm down." He said, I took a deep breath. "No one is going to believe that is the truth." He said after a very long pause.
"I don't care, I won't tell anyone." I said more calmly. "Please just so long as I know and you know the truth." I added.
"Okay, just remain calm." Xander said.
"Xander I feel like there is still so much we need to talk about." I said.
"We have all the time in the World." Xander assured me.
"Still there are a few things I want to say now." I said.
"Hold off on that Jonathan, I think I hear my dad." He said. I strained my ears but couldn't hear a thing. However not ten seconds later the door knob clicked and in walked Dr. M.
"How is our patient today?" he said.
"I'm fine, ready to go home." I said.
"Sorry Johnny, but we want to try to get the swelling down a bit more first. Hopefully you can go home tomorrow." Dr. M said as he checked me over. "Everything else looks good though, you seam to be healing quiet well." He added. Dr. M was about to head out the door, a moment I was both longing for and dreading at the same time. "Oh Alexander before I forget your mother called and said she needed to speak with you." And he was out the door.
"I had better call her." Xander said apologetically as he rose and headed for the door.
"You will come back right? I said worriedly.
"Of course I will." He responded. I relaxed as he slipped out the door. I guess I feel asleep.
I awoke to the gently sound of rain trickling down the glass of the window. I wasn't sure how long I had been asleep. I looked around and was surprised to see that Xander was sprawled across the mini sofa in the corner of the room. I felt bad thinking about how uncomfortable that must be; he should be at home with his family not trapped here keeping me company. A small sigh escaped my lips, Xander stirred in a heartbeat.
"What's wrong? Are you in pain Jonathan?" He asked
"No Xander I am fine." I said.
"Something is wrong; tell me what you are thinking about." He asked.
"I was thinking about how you should be at home, not cooped up with me in this hospital room." I responded.
"I choose to be here Jonathan; I wouldn't want to be anywhere else when you are hurting." He said honestly. "Besides it's already morning." He added with that wonderful crooked smile I loved.
"Really? Wow I must have been more tired then I thought." I said.
"You should get up; Dad came in earlier and said you could go home if you like. However I was thinking you are probably starving and I thought we could get some breakfast." Xander said.
"Breakfast does sound good, but I hate hospital food." I said.
"Not here silly, I was thinking we could stop somewhere before I get you back to dorms." Xander said with a little laugh.
"Oh well in that case it sounds good to me." I responded.
"Why don't I give you some privacy to change and I will call Dad and let him know you are ready." Xander said as he rose and walked out the room. I got up out the bed favoring my good leg, I was a little light headed form having been in bed for so long but felt okay after the first wave of dizziness passed. I struggled to get into my cloths. Giving up on being able to put on my socks and shoes, I wasn't too sure how I was going to get around campus on this ankle; I hoped that Dr. M had some crutches I could use or something. Xander knocked on the door a few minutes later; he helped by putting on my sneaker and sock onto my good leg. Then he handed me some crutches so I could get around, course before I had a chance to use them, the nurse came in with a wheelchair and insisted that I leave the hospital on that. Xander laughed at the look of indignation on my face as I was pushed though the building. Finally we were outside. I was stunned it was a lot colder then I had expected it to be.
"You okay Jonathan?" Xander asked.
"It's colder then I expected and I don't have my jacket." I responded as I wrapped my arms around my chest. Xander immediately pulled his own leather jacket off and laid it down on my shoulders. I pulled it around and stuck my hands into it backwards.
Xander ran off to get his car quickly meet me back at the entrance of the hospital. His car just like him was way too beautiful, a baby blue Mustang GT, with white leather interior. It was absolutely gorgeous. Xander jumped out and helped me into the car, then looped around and jumped nimbly into the driver's side and took off like a bullet. I had never seen some one drive so fast in a hospital parking lot in my life, and quickly found out it wasn't just in the parking lot he drove fast, Xander wove his way in and out of traffic like a madman.
"Xander please slow down, I don't want to have to go back to the hospital so soon after having left it." I shouted. Xander laughed aloud.
"Have no fear Jonathan; you are perfectly safe. As safe as you can be with me." He said with a small smile. I took a deep breath.
"Xander I think we need to talk some more." I said. "Can we go somewhere quiet for breakfast?" I added.
"Your not going to be tossing yourself off a cliff are you after this? I don't have any hiking plans so if I have to save you again let me know." He said with a huge grin.
"No I don't plan to try to kill myself anymore this week." I replied sticking my tongue out at him.
"Oh good, in that case I suppose we could go somewhere and talk." Xander replied.
"We could go to Java Chillers; you know that place by the campus." I suggested thinking how it was close to the dorms. I was worried, and I couldn't be sure how he would react to the things I wanted to tell him. The way Xander drove we were at Java Chillers in not time at all. It was early, but there were a few already there. I knew it wouldn't stay like that for long, as it was a popular college hang out.
Xander walked right in and up to the hostess station, the hostess looked up and froze. I knew the feeling; she was being mesmerized by Xander's good looks. "A table for two, please." He said. She cast a glance my way and quickly looked away, guess I wasn't looking my best right then. She led the way into the restaurant and led us over to the most crowded spot. "Maybe a booth or something a little more private?" Xander said smoothly. She seamed to scowl but quickly pulled it into a smile and led us to a more secluded spot.
"That wasn't really all that fair." I said.
"What?"
"You kind of blinded her; she would have done just about anything for you." I said.
"What are you going on about Jonathan?" Xander said.
"You have this way of dazzling people. I guess you don't see it, but I do." I said with a small laugh.
"I dazzle people?"
"Yeah you do, I don't think you do it on purpose or anything, it's just kind of funny to watch sometimes." I responded. Our waitress appeared and asked us our drink orders. I got a caramel macchiato, and Xander only ordered water. She must have been warned by the hostess, as she only had eyes for Xander. I tried not to take it all that personally, after all I only had eyes for him too.
"I just can't believe that, have I ever dazzled you?" He asked with a sly smile.
"Yeah you get me every now and then. Don't you ever wonder why you get your way so often, that doesn't happen with everyone." I responded.
"Really? It seams to happen to my family a lot." He said.
"Well of course, you are all so gorgeous." I said, about a second went past and then I felt the heat on my face. I looked down at the table as the waitress brought out our drinks.
"Can I get you guys anything to eat?" She said, again she seamed totally focused on Xander, I wanted to punch out her lights.
"Jonathan do you want something to eat?" Xander deferred to me.
"Just a small stack of pancakes." I said.
"I am fine with the water." Xander said. The waitress walked off in a huff. I suppressed a giggle but a smirk still found its way to my face. "What?"
"She was totally blinded by you again." I said. He just rolled his beautiful eyes at me.
"So getting back to you thinking that I am gorgeous." He said with a sly wink.
"Yes Xander I guess I do find you kind of gorgeous." I said, he smiled that killer smile at me. "In fact that is part of what I wanted to talk to you about." I added.
"My being gorgeous is something you want to talk about?" Xander asked with a little laugh.
"It's more then just that, it's a lot of thing." I said. "I know you are keeping a secret form me." I said.
"No, I ..."
"Please Xander." I interrupted "Spare me the lies, you promised we would talk about the truth." I said. He closed his open mouth. "As I said you are keeping something form me." I added. "And you know what, that is okay. The truth of it is that we really haven't known each other long. I do hope that one day you will be able to feel like you can share anything with me." I added. "As a sign of good faith I am going to share a secret with you about myself." I said. Just then the waitress returned with my pancakes and some syrup.
"Sure you don't need something Sugar?" She asked Xander.
"No I am fine, thank you." Xander said, as she walked away he remembered that I was there. "Go on." Xander said encouragingly.
"Well you see, I have never actually said this out laud." I said. I sucked in a deep breath. "I am gay!" I said in a whoosh. Xander froze; he didn't even seam to be breathing. I felt like crying, this wasn't how I expected things to be at all. I took another deep breath, I moved to stand up. "I am sorry Xander." I said as I got up. Suddenly his right hand clamped down on my wrist. I barely registered the coolness of his hand though the jacked as the pain sunk in. "OW! Xander let go!" I cried out. I pulled with everything I had but I couldn't break his steel lock. "Xander! Alex! Alexander! You're hurting me." It came out as a pained whisper, but he reacted like I was shouting at me. He instantly dropped his hand form me. I fell back into the chair and pushed up the jacket and examined my wrist. It was very red and hurt but I don't think he had broken anything. Cautiously I looked into his face.
"Jonathan I am so sorry." He said, his voice was just above a whisper. I could clearly see the pain in his eyes.
"Don't worry about it Alexander." I said. I reached for my wallet and realized it must still be in my bag in the car. "Look if you will just let me get my bag out of your car. I will pay my half of the meal." Though the truth of it was neither of us had touched a thing. I stood up again.
"Please don't go." Xander said quietly. Once more I was compelled by his presence to obey. I sat back down. "Jonathan I can't possibly expect you to forgive me for hurting you." He said, some how I was sure he meant both the physical and mental pain. "I don't think anything bad about what you said, I was just surprised. When you went to leave all I could think about was how I didn't want you to go." He said. "I didn't even realize I was holding on so tight." He said. I knew he was beating himself up about hurting me.
"It's okay Xander, everyone makes mistakes." I said quickly.
"No it's not okay, I will never forgive myself for hurting you, I have tried so hard to keep you safe and here I am the one to hurt you." Xander said.
"Xander snap out of it." I said. He looked into my eyes. "I forgive you, so don't dwell on it." I added.
"Your right, I suppose we should get over that." He said. "It just took me by surprise, I still feel very protective of you." Xander added.
"You might change your mind when you here the rest of it." I said skeptically.
"I doubt it, but go on." He said.
"I like you, a lot." I said.
"I like you too." Xander said, he seamed to find this amusing.
"No Xander I mean that I really like you. I think I might even be in love with you." I said quickly.
"Oh." That was all he said. I felt like dying. I wanted the ground to open up right there and swallow me whole. I jumped up grabbing my crutches and as quickly as I could I got outside. I glanced at Xander's car and wondered about my bag, deciding after a second to two to forgo it. I hobbled away as quickly as I could. Fast as I tried to be, Xander was infinitely quicker. I blinked and there he was, I hadn't even made it out the parking lot. "You can't leave, especially after saying something like that and just walk away." Xander said.
"Please just leave me alone. I will never bother you again." I said.
"Jonathan I don't want you to leave me alone. I don't think of you as a bother." Xander said.
"What?" My brain didn't want to function.
"I don't care that you are gay or even that you think you love me. What I do mind is you trying to hurt yourself and you walking way. We can't solve any problems if one of us isn't here to talk about it." Xander said seriously I thought about what he said and realized he was right, I let out a sigh.
"You are right Xander, and I am sorry for running away, it was just you reacted exactly like I expected you would." I said.
"Jonathan I care about you a great deal, that is why I am so very protective about you." He said. "Besides being gay isn't that big a deal, I am gay too by the way." He added.
"Really? You're gay too?" I finally felt like there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
"I wouldn't lie to you about something that is clearly so serious to you." Xander said.
"Thank you, and again I am sorry for running out on you." I said.
"As you said before `Everyone makes mistakes'" Xander said. "Now do you want to go back into the restaurant and eat, or just head back to the dorms?" He asked. I paused for a moment and discovered that my appetite had vanished and the pains in my head and ankle were coming back.
"I think that I would rather just head home, and take some more pain killers." I said. Xander quickly helped me into his car and after a quick run in to pay for the food he was back and we were once more speeding down the road at a million miles an hour. I started to over head Xander had the heater up on full, I also realized I still had his jacket on, I didn't know what cologne he wore but the smell was intoxicating. I never wanted to take the jacket off. "Xander it's too hot in here. I think I am melting." I said with a hit of a smile. As I reached to turn the heater off, Xander did the same and our hands bumped into each other. His hands were still like ice. He quickly jerked them away.
Time seamed to pass differently when Xander was driving or maybe it was just that I was so petrified. He dodged in and out of traffic with an ease that would have made Mario Andretti proud. In just under ten minutes we were parked in front of my dorm building, Xander dashed out over to my side of the car and helped me out. He grabbed my bad and we headed inside. We took the elevator to the top floor I lead Xander down the hall to my room.
"Wow, top floor and a single room? How did you manage that?" Xander commented as we walked into my room.
"It was part of my scholarship bonus, and one of the major reasons for coming to UNH." I responded.
"Then I think I should send several thank you cards to the scholarship committee for getting you here." Xander said with a laugh. I laughed a little with him but the pains in my ankle and head was getting worse. "Here let me get you some water, so you can take some more pain killers." He said. He had me all quickly sorted out resting in my bed, I looked up at him he was sitting in the only chair, the one form my desk.
"I am going to figure out your secret Xander, just wait and see." I said.
"I have no doubt you will." He said seriously. I knew what I had to do I thought about all I knew but my thoughts were getting fuzzy from the pain medication. Soon I slipped into the darkness of unconsciousness.