As before this is a work of complete Fiction. This story in no way reflects the sexual orientaion or beliefs or values of the Backstreet Boys or Nsync. If you are a minor scat!! If you are legal than enjoy the story.
I would like to take this chance to thank from the bottom of my heart the following people. Over the last week I truly learned the value of Friendship. On Tuesday night I lost someone very close to my heart. True to form my friends came rushing to my aid. To Tonny: What can I say? Thank you seems so small right now. When Daniel first told me that he was HIV positive I had no where to turn for help. You were there and you promised me that you would stand by me. My Friend you have done that and I thank you. Nate: You to have gone out of your way to comfort a friend who was grieving from the depths of his soul. You moved heaven and earth to make sure that I knew you were there for me. You told me from the beginning of our friendship that you would be there for me and you are. In more ways than you know. Thank you my friend. And Andy: You are a kind and wonderful person. Who ever latches on to you will be the luckiest man on this earth. For your heart is so big and loving. Your words and prayers have met the world to me. Remember if you need to hear a kind voice you've got my number. And for the many other fans that sent me condolences. I thank you very much. I am sorry that I haven't written in a while. But I am back. Please understand if my writing takes on a darker tone.
These next chapters are dedicated to the Loving Memory of Daniel who slipped the bounds of this earth on the late night of January 5, 2000.
As the Last Stone Falls
Chapter 11
I awoke the next morning with a face of a puppy in my face. I sat up in bed to see that Scrappy was here. I heard a giggle and looked around to see Nick sitting in the chair beside my bed. I gave Scrappy a hug and put him on the other side of me. I swung my legs over the bed and climbed out and shuffled into the Bathroom.
"Good morning Jason," spoke up Nick cheerfully. I waved to him and mumbled something at him. "Not in a good mood Jason?" he asked concerned. I quickly finished my bathroom duties and walked back into the room.
"No I am not," I announced harshly. He looked at me in shock. "I just realized something. I spend entirely too much time in fucking hospitals!" I grumbled. "I want to go home!" I complained loudly. He cringed at my hard words. "I'm sorry Nick for yelling at you it's just that I am so tired of being stuck in this place. The door opens and in walks Roland. I could tell he was looking for Brian. "He is in with Kevin," I offered. He grinned and stepped back out in the hall. Nick looked at me like I was nuts. "He and Brian have the hots for eachother," I giggled.
After eating breakfast I was released from the Hospital. I walked to Kevin's room and found it blocked by Howie again. "Howie, get the fuck out of my way!" I ordered. He just glared at me and remained standing. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see a man in a suit. He handed me a piece of paper. I read it and it filled me with rage. "A fucking restraining order!" I yelled out. Howie grinned with glea. "You can't keep me away from him," I said softly shaking the peice of paper in front of Howie.
"I'm afraid we did," the man said. I saw Brian out of the corner of my eye.
"Hey Brian!" I shouted. "Did you know about this?" I asked showing him the paper. He read it and promptly tore it up.
"They can't do this. I am Kevin's cousin and I cleared it with the firm to let you visit him. This jack ass," gesturing to the suited man. "Is Howie's lacky. Don't pay any attention to him." I brushed by Howie and walked into the room and Kevin looked up at me and smiled.
"Hey sexy!" he said excitedly. "They going to let you out of this place?" I walked over to him and laid down next to him planting a kiss on his lips.
"I don't want to leave you here all alone," I said softly stroking his chin and kissing him again. He slid his tongue into my mouth. We heard gentle coughing behind us and we reluctantly broke apart.
"I have to stay here for a few more days Babe," he told me. I looked into his eyes and saw nothing but love in them.
"But it is almost New Years. I wanted to be with you at South Fork when we brought it in," I wimpered. He reached up and brushed the tears from my face. I shivered at his touch. He smiled and pulled my head down to his shoulder.
"I'll be alright Babe," he said calmly.
"Well I wont allow it. I am going to cancle the party and--" I started.
"NO!" he shouted at me. I looked at him in shock. "You will not cancle your party! You've worked to hard for this night. Besides you have guests comming in from out of town," he insisted stubbornly. It pained me to think about bringing in the New Years with out my lover beside me. I nodded my head to calm him down. But I wasn't giving up yet. "Now that, that is settled what was that camotion out side of my room when you came in?" he asked. I looked at Brian not wanting to worry Kevin. He grabbed my chin and forced me look at him. "Don't look at Brian Jason, what was going on out there and don't lie to me!" he said loudly.
"Howie tried to have a restraining order brought against me so that I couldn't see you," I said softly. I heard him swear and also heard his heart rate go up. I looked at him and saw him angry. "Please calm down Babe," I soothed him. It had the opposite affect. He swatted my hand away and threw off the blankets and tried to get out of bed. I gently pushed him back down. Thank God he was still weak because he didn't put up much of fight. He finally stopped fighting me and sagged back into bed. "Now are you done throwing a temper tatrum?" I asked, scolding him. He smiled sheepishly. "Now as I was saying, Howie tried to have a restrainig order put against me but Brian stopped him in his tracks. Don't worry about him I will talk to him," I explained him. He reached up and touched my shoulder.
"What if he wont take no for an answer?" he asked worried. "You're in no condition to go up against him."
"Don't worry about me I can take him with both hands tied behind my back," I tried to joke. He just glared at me.
"Dammit Jason!" he shouted in frusturation. "This isn't funny. Howie could hurt you if he wanted to!" He looked away in anger. I sat down beside him and laid my head on his shoulder. I started humming an Nsync song, "God must have spent," I deliberatly hummed off key. It wasn't long before he was laughing softly. He punched me in the leg softly.
"Don't worry about me Kevin," I soothed him. "I can take care of mean old Howie." I leaned in and kissed him urgently sliding my tongue in his mouth. He kissed me back and I was filled with such emotion that I sobbed. He broke apart with concern in his eyes. He reached up and touched my cheek with his hand . I leaned into his touch still marveling at how his touch always affected me. Fresh tears flowed down my face. I turned away to gather myself. He reached up and turned me towards him.
"Please tell me what I can do to help you," he said softly. I laid down in his arms and sobbed into his chest. "Please Jason tell me what to do. I hurt when you hurt!" he sobbed.
"I never want us to be apart again," I sniffled. He laughed softly. I looked up at him alittle angry. "I was being serious!" I said alittle harshly.
"I know that you are being serious. I can't help it," he smiled. "I love taking care of you." He rubbed my chest. I closed my eyes enjoying his touch. I took hold of his hand and brought it to my lips and lightly brushed it with my lips. He moaned softly.
"Let's get married!" I demanded looking into his eyes conveying my love with every ounce of my strength. His eyes went wide. "I don't ever want to be apart from you again." He looked away and I was hurt and got up and headed towards the window.
"Please come back?" he pleaded patting the bed beside him. I slipped into bed beside him and he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me on the neck. I giggled and he kissed me again. "So why are you so convinced that we are going to drift apart?" he asked softly.
"When I saw you lying on the cold concrete with blood comming out of your chest I thought you were dieing. I didn't like the thought of us being seperated. It opened a whole in my heart that could've filled the world," I said.
"When I saw that bastard pointing that gun at you the only thought in my head was that I was going to loose you," he said softly. I looked up at him to see tears streaming down his face. "In a split second I saw what my life would be like without you in it. And Jason, it scared me to death!" I reached up and wiped his tears away. "I never want to feel that way again."
"Don't you see we have both been given a chance. I don't want to miss this chance at happiness. It would be the biggest sin in the world if we squandered our love. We owe it to ourselves and friends and families to get together," I said with conviction. He nodded and leaned down and kissed the top of my head. We lie there for a while. I noticed that his breathing was slow and regular. I looked up and saw that he was sleeping. I gently untangled myself and headed out of the room. I was not surprised to see that Howie was standing there. I brushed by him and he shoved me against the wall. I slammed into the wall ramming my injured shoulder into the wall. I moaned in pain.
"Stay away from Kevin!" he shouted at me.
"No!" I shouted back. I noticed Brian rushing towards us. I held up my hand to stop him. I grabbed Howie with my good arm and pulled him down the hall and into the waiting room. Once inside I shoved him into a chair. I than planted my foot in his chest. "Now Jack Ass suppose you tell me what the fuck is your problem!"
"You are Jason!" he yelled grabbing my foot and trying to move it. I pushed down harder. "Come on Jason I can't breath," he whined. I rolled my eyes and removed my foot and stomped across the room and sat down in a chair. "You're the reason that Kevin is here," he threw at me.
"I didn't pull the fucking trigger!" I shouted at him although I did feel guitly about Kevin getting shot.
"Just like you didn't almost ruin our carreers!" he yelled with tears streaming down his face. "Face it Jason! Ever since you walked into Kevin's life you have made it a living hell. Kevin is never happy because he's to fucking busy taking care of your problems!" he sobbed at me.
"What do you want from me Howie?" I asked calmly.
"I want you to walk out of that door and out of our lives for good!" he screamed at me.
"I love him Howie and no I wont walk out that door and leave him! It would kill him!" I sobbed at him.
"Fuck man, you almost killed him with that last stunt!" he got up and walked over to me glaring at me with hate and contempt.
"I wasn't the one who pulled the trigger," I said trying to reason with him. He punched me in the face sending pain shooting through my face. I tasted blood. He stomped out of the room slamming the door. I buried my head in my hands sobbing. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up saw Brian standing there with a Tissue. I took it held it to my lip. I stood up and walked to the window and looked out it. "Have I made Kevin's life a living hell?" I asked turning to look at Brian.
"What?" he asked with his eyes wide. I rolled my eyes.
"I asked, have I made Kevin's life a living hell?"
"What makes you ask that?" he asked.
"Howie," I stated wiping some tears away from my face. The sun was sitting and the sky was on fire.
"All I know is that Kevin loves you beyond reason," he said. "I have never seen him happier. He feels complete with you. With out you he would die," Brian said comming over to me and pulling me into a hug. "Howie is a Jack Ass don't pay attention to him," he giggled. "Come on let's go home and get something to eat."
"But I want to see Kevin," I complained.
"You can see him tomorrow. Come on we have to get home and to a party." he grinned. I nodded reluctantly and followed him.
Chapter 12
The Clocks Strikes Twelve.
I struggled to get my black tie on. I growled in frustration. It was hard enough to tie one of these things with both arms let alone one in a sling. I heard some laughing in the back ground I turned to see Nick leaning against the door way. "A little help here please?" I demanded. This sent Nick into a fit of laughter. I glared at him and he took pity on me and came over to help. Finally I was dressed and headed down stairs. South Fork was all decked out. It was the first official party I had since the new house had been built. The door opened and in walked Nsync. Justin came running up to me and pulled me into a hug.
"Man it it so good to see you man!" he said extremely hyper. I looked at him and saw that mischivious twinkle in his eyes. I reached up and ruffled his hair. "Oh man! watch the due," he whined. "It took me an hour to get it right." All of the rest of the guys busted up laughing. I welcomed all of the other guys in. I noticed JC was standing off to the side looking like a fifth wheel. I walked over to him.
"Hey JC it is good to see you," I said smiling. He looked down at his feet.
"I uh wasn't sure if you would want me here tonight," he mumbled. I pulled him into a tight hug.
"Of course I want you here man," I said. I looked him in the eye and smiled. "You are a friend of mine and you are always welcome."
"But the terrible things I did to you--," he started. I put my finger to his mouth.
"That wasn't the JC I know right now. That JC is dead," I said sternly. "Now mister you are here to have fun." I led him into to the ball room. True to form was Justin dancing his heart out. I shook my head laughing. "Man doesn't he ever calm down?"
"Only when he is asleep. He has always been this hyper," laughed JC.
"Care to cut some rug JC?" I asked. He nodded yes and we moved out to the floor and started dancing. I could hold my own but JC and the rest of the Nsync and Backstreet Boys beat me hands down. After about three hours dancing I looked up at the clock and saw it was 11:30. I looked for Brian and found him slow dancing with Roland. They also had there lips locked together in a kiss. I went over to them tapped Brian on the shoulder.
"Breath Brian breath," I laughed. They pulled apart and blushed. "Hey Brian can I get you to take me to the Hospital?" I pleaded. "I want to surprise Kevin."
"Sure Jason," he said grabbing Roland and followed me out of the house and into the car. "So Jason what do you have planned?" Brian asked.
"Oh a little of this and a little of that," I commented. It didn't take long for us to get the Hospital. I crept up to Kevin's room and peeked in. He was sitting up in bed watching the T.V. I slowly opened the door and opened my mouth as the clock struck twelve. I started to sing. Something I had never done to him before. He looked up at me with surprise I almost laughed but stopped. I concentrated on the words.
Maybe it's intuition but somethings you just don't question like in your eyes I see my future in an instant and there it goes I think I've found my best friend I know that it might sound more than a little crazy but I believe
I knew I loved you before I met you I think I dreamed you into life I knew I loved you before I met you I have been waiting all my life
There's just no ryme or reason only this sense of completion and in you eyes I see the missing pieces I'm searching for I think I've found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than alittle crazy But I believe
I knew I love you before I met you I think I dreamed you into life I knew I loved you before I met you I've been waiting all of my life
A thousand angels dance around you I am complete now that I've found you
I knew I loved you before I met you I think I dreamed you into life I knew I loved you before I met you I have been waiting all my life.
I stopped singing and looked at Kevin. He just sat there staring at me in complete shock. But there was also tears of Love streaming down his face. I went to him and took his face into my hands and I leaned down and kissed him.
"Happy New Year Babe," I whispered to him. He pulled me into a tight hug and cried into my shoulder. I broke apart and looked at him in shock.
"No one has ever done that for me," he whimpered. "I feel so honored to be loved by you." he said in awe.
"I wanted to be here when the New Year came in. I didn't want you here alone," I said wiping his tears away.
"And we couldn't have you two alone either," yelled a voice. I turned around and saw the wholeparty standing behind me. Justin came up and hugged us both. "Happy New Years guys," he smiled with his famous smile.
Needless to say the party continued in Kevin's room. Finally after 4 in the morning the party ended and we went home. I of course wanted to stay but Kevin insisted that I go home and sleep in my own room. I went to bed alone that night. But I knew in my heart that Kevin was going to be alright. I was looking forward when I could see him tomorrow. I wanted to plan the wedding. Uknown to me Howie was making plans of his own. Plans that would destroy the Backstreet Boys as we knew it.
It was dark in the garage and all of the guests had gone home. Howie crept into the garage alone. After about five minutes he was finished with his little job. "There, that should finish Jason off good," he said harshly. As he left the garage he brushed up against the corner of a work bench. Tearing a corner of his tux off. He didn't notice.
The sun was hitting me in the face. I rolled over and on top of Scrappy. I climbed out of bed and shuffled into the bathroom. After showering and getting dressed I headed down stairs. I ran into Brian and Roland. "Soo how did you two sleep?" I asked.
"They didn't sleep," grumbled Nick and he walked into the kitchen. Brian and Roland blushed. Nick walked over to the coffee and Justin was sitting next to it glared at Nick and got up and walked out. I stopped him at he door and guided him reluctantly to a chair.
"Now you two talk this out," I ordered the both of them as I walked out of the kitchen.
(From Nick's point of view)
I looked at him and God the pain started all over again. He was so gorgeous. He looked up at me with those eyes of his. They were no longer filled with love, no longer filled with hate either. They were filled with hope. I sat down across from him.
"I missed you so much Justin," I mumbled looking at my hands.
"I missed you to Nick," he admitted. "Why did you do it?" he asked.
"I don't know Justin. I was stupid and drunk. I wasn't thinking," I sobbed.
"Did you feel anything for Kevin?" he asked me.
"No other than the fact that he is my friend. I love him like a brother," I admitted.
"What happened? Why did you do it?" he said with tears in his eyes. I reched over to wipe them from his face. He brushed my hand away and glared at me.
"We were drunk Justin, it didn't mean anything." I mumbled. He sat quiet for a while looking into his coffee. Finally he looked up.
"Do you still love me?" he asked. The question surprised me.
"Of course I still love you Justin," I said.
"I love you too Nick," he replied smiling alittle. I reached for his hand and he took it. I closed my eyes savoring the feel of his touch. I looked at and saw that he had his eyes closed to.
"So does this mean that we are back together?" I asked hopefully. He nodded. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. He wrapped his arms around me slid his tongue into my mouth. After dueling for a few moments we broke apart breathless. "Wow!" I breathed smiling at him. He looked down and blushed. The door flew open and Howie came in. He wore a frantic look on his face.
"Anyone seen Brian and that Roland guy?" he asked looking around the kitchen.
"Yea they said they were going into town to get some breakfast and to see Kevin," I spoke up. "Why?"
"Did they say which car they were taking?" he asked worried.
"Yea they said they were taking the BMW," Justin volunteered. Howie's face went pale as a ghost and started shaking.
"What's wrong Howie?" I asked.
"I meant to tell Jason. I took the car out yesterday and the brake lights came on so I put it back in the garage," he stammered.
"Oh shit!" I yelled grabbing my cell phone and dialing Brian's number. It started ringing on the Kitchen counter. He had left it here. "Where is Jason?" I asked.
(From Jason's point of view.)
"I'm right here why?" I asked.
"We have a problem on our hands," said Nick. "Howie took your BMW out yesterday and noticed that the break lights were on so he put it back in the garage and was going to tell you but didn't get the chance."
"Yea and Brian and Roland took it out this morning and is headed into town right now," put in Justin.
"Come on guys let's go!" I yelled herding everyone out. We climbed into my Navigator and raced out the front gate. As we were driving we came up on a busted guard rail. I slammed on the breaks and skidded to a stop and jumped out. I ran to the side of the road and looked over the edge. "Oh God in heaven no!" I screamed. Nick came running up behind me and saw the wreakage below us. He screamed Brian's name and ran toward the wrecked BMW. When he was still scrambling down the side of the hill when the BMW exploded sending a fire ball 100 feet into the air. I grabbed Nick and pulled him back. He struggled to get out of my gripp.
"Let me go Jason!" he screamed. "I have to save Brian." I held him down and looked around to find Justin. He was standing there in shock looking at the burning car.
"Justin!" I screamed. It shook him out of his trance. "Go call for help!" He reached into his pocket and took out his cell phone and dialed for help. Nick was sobbing into my shoulder. I saw Howie sitting on the side of the rode with his head in his hands. After about ten minutes of searching the surrounding area we could not find Brian or Roland. By this time the help had arrived and had put out the fire. They started tearing the car apart. I watched in horror as they removed two charred bodies from the burnt out car. I fell to the ground in shock. Brian was dead. "My God how am I going to tell Kevin?" I screamed out loud. Nick pulled me into a hug and Justin joined us. The only one who didn't join us was Howie. He just sat there mumbling to himself.
"It wasn't supposed to happen like this," He got up and walked to the side of the road and looked into the burnt out car. "Oh Brian, I never met it happen like this. It wasn't supposed to happen to you."
After spending the next hour with the Cops answering question we headed towards the hospital. I dreaded telling Kevin. But it had to be done. We all walked slowly into the room. He was awake watching TV. He looked at me and smiled. "Hey gorgeous!" he said cheerfully. He looked at us and saw the tear stained faces. "What is going on?" he asked scared.
"Kevin I really don't know how to tell you this," I started.
"What did someone die?" he asked laughing alittle. I sobbed out his name and fell to my knees grabbing his hand. "Where is Brian?" he asked scared now.
"Kevin there was a bad accident," started Nick.
"What ever you do don't tell me that Brian is dead," he said his face going pale.
"I am so sorry Kevin," I sobbed out looking up at him. He looked at me confused.
"Brian is dead?" he asked. I nodded my head yes. He curled up in a fetal position and started sobbing. Great and powerful racking sobs came from him. He cried with his entire soul. I held him and held him. Not knowing what else to do. I barely noticed that all the other guys had gathered around the bed holding us too. At some point I blacked out from the grief.
Chapter 13
The next week went by slowly and painfully. Kevin was a wreck. I took over for him getting the flights ready for the trip back to Kentucky for Brian's funeral. Kevin had stopped eating. All he did was sit in the living room staring at his feet. I tried every thing to get him to respond. He would smile at me and say that he loved me. That was all the response that I got from him. Finally the time came for us to board the plane. I walked with Kevin holding his hand. Nick followed us holding Justin's hand and AJ came up the rear. The flight was uneventful and Kevin was quiet for the whole trip. I was starting to get worried. He was holding every thing in. The plane landed and we got into the limos and drove to Brian's home. The funeral was very sad. Thousands of fans lined the funeral route showing there support for The Band. Kevin stood silently at the grave site for the ceremony. After the ceremony we boarded the plane and started the overseas tour. The Band had decided to go on without Brian. Kevin did not vote either way he just sat there in silence. He did manage to perform but everyone knew his heart was not in it. It pained me to see him hurting so much. So one night I went to knock on Nick's door. He opened it and let me in.
"Hey Nick," I said looking around. "Am I bothering you?" I asked.
"No Jason, I was just waiting for Justin to call," he said smiling.
"Uh Nick we need to do something about Kevin," I started. He shoved a bunch of stuff on his bed to his floor and motioned me to sit down. "I am really worried about him. He doesn't eat very much and he never talks to any one of us. He's been like this since Brian's death."
"Maybe we should have a meeting with every one in the morning and decide what to do," sudgested Nick.
"What's on the agenda for tomorrow?" I asked.
"Nothing, we have the next three days off," said Nick as he paged through his organiser. I laughed at him and he looked at me raising his eyebrows.
"I'm sorry Nick, it's just that it amazes me that you have such a messy room and you keep such a Neat organisor," I explained to him.
"Yea well don't pick on me mister remember I've seen your desk at home," he scolded. I conseded defeat in favor of him. The door burst open and Howie came walking in.
"Hey Nick, you want to go out?" he asked with a smile on. He stopped when he saw me. "Uhh sorry, am I interupting anything?" he asked.
"No actually Howie you are right on time," I spoke up.
"Yea we are going to have a meeting tomorrow morning to try and decide what to do about Kevin," said Nick motioning Howie to sit down. Howie reluctantly sat down and looked at me.
"Yea I am really starting to get worried about him too," he spoke up to quickly. I got suspicious but didn't say anything.
"We want everyone on board with this," I said.
"Any thing I can do to help I want to do," he said with a friendly smile. Now I was really worried. Howie never smiles at me unless he was up to something. "Umm Jason can I talk to you alone?" he asked.
"Yea let's go to your room," I volunteered. After saying goodbye to Nick we headed over to his room Once inside he made a big show of being a good host. Offering me a drink and every thing. And he was nervous as hell. I finally got tired of it. "All right Howie enough of the crap. What is on your mind?"
"I wanted to apologies for how I treated all those weeks ago," he said. I nodded for him to continued. "Well I've been watching you and I can see that you are really good for Kevin right now. I should have never tried to bust you two up. I am really sorry," he said with tears in his eyes. "Can you forgive me?"
"There is nothing to forgive. You were looking out for your friend," I said smiling. I still didn't trust him. After making small talk with Howie I left to go back to my room. I opened the door and crept in. It was dark as usual. I found Kevin sitting in a chair staring at a blank TV screen. I bent down and kissed him. "Hey babe," I said smiling. As usual I didn't get a response. "I love you Kevin," I prodded. He nodded not saying anything. "Kevin please talk to me," I begged. He glared at me.
"What do you want to talk about Jason?" he asked harshly. "Shall I talk about how much I miss Brian. Or maybe how much I blame myself for him dying," he hurled at me.
"Yes any of those things and what ever else is on your mind. Talk Dammit because this silence is killing me," I hurled back at him. "Stop shutting me out!" He stood up and shoved me against the wall. "Please Kevin, you're not the only one hurting here. This is breaking my heart too!" I tried to pull him into a hug. But he pushed me back again.
"Fuck you Jason!" he shouted at me and stormed by me. I grabbed him to stop him and than he did something that I thought he would never do to me. He punched me in the face knocking me to the ground. "Just leave me the fuck alone Jason!" he screamed walking out of the room slamming the door. My lip was bleeding and it would soon be swelling. I got up and went to the bathroom and cleaned my self up. Than I went to Nicks room. I knocked on the door and he opened it up.
"My God Jason what happened to you?" he shouted at me. He than pulled me into this room.
"Do you have any ice. I kinda had a fight with a door," I laughed. He looked at me and frowned.
"Yea right!" he said harshly. "Where is he!"
"Leave it alone alright Nick!" I said loudly. "At least he is talking now and that is what we set out to accomplish." He looked at me with anger in his eyes. "He is hurting so bad Nicki," I sobbed. He pulled me into a hug and led to the other bed in the room.
"That is still no excuse for what he did," Nick said loudly. "I am going to have a talk with him. He is not the only one hurting, we all are!"
"Please leave it alone Nick," I pleaded with him. I could tell my the set of his mouth that he wasn't going to let it rest. "Please Nick?"
"Hell no I wont let it rest. He hurt you tonight and that has to be addressed!" Nick shouted.
"Can I stay here tonight?" I asked. He nodded and pulled the blankets back for me. I crawled between the sheets and closed my eyes. It took me along time to get to sleep. I softly cried myself to sleep hoping that Nick would not hear.
(From Nick's Point of View.)
"This wouldn't have happened if Brian was here," I said to myself sadly. "OHH Brian I wish you were here." I got up out of the chair after hearing Jason cry himself to sleep and left the room to find Kevin. I didn't need to look far. I found him in the hotel bar. I stormed up to him and grabbed the drink from his hand. "Well Kevin I see you managed to fuck it up again!" I shouted at him throwing the drink in his face. He sputtered and brushed himself off.
"What the fuck are you talking about Nick!" he yelled at me.
"What I am talking about is this!" I yelled grabbing his hand and shoving it in his face. His hand was all bruised and scratched from where he hit Jason. He just stared at it and shrugged. "Thanks to you he is lying up in my room crying himself to sleep. Now I want to know what you are going to do to fix it!"
"Nothing alright Nick, is that what you wanted to hear Nick?" he hurled at me. He got up to walk away but I grabbed him and stopped him. He glared at me. "What!?" he screamed at me. "What do you want from me?"
"I want you get a hold of yourself and see that you are not the only person hurting when Brian died," I sobbed at him. "I mean he was like a brother to me. Now he is gone and I don't understand why. I need you to help me through this. I need you be there for me, for AJ and for Howie. But most importantly you need to be here for Jason. He loves you man and you just hurt him. God man! you hit your fianse. You hit him you jack ass. You have never raised your hand in anger at him," I sobbed at him. I was crying uncontrolably now. He just stared at me blankly and shook his head and turned around and walked away. "Kevin you walk away right now and you may never be able to get him back!" he just flipped me off and kept walking. "Kevin!!" I screamed at him. He just kept walking. "Shit shit shit!" I yelled to myself. I stormed back up to my room. I slammed open the door completly forgetting that Jason was asleep. He sat up in bed shocked out of his mind. After a few moments of calming down he looked at me and saw that I was fumming.
"So you had to go and try to talk to him?" he asked getting out of bed.
"Yea I did and the Jack ass isn't willing to listen!" I shouted. I was still mad.
"Well maybe actions speak louder than words Nicki," Jason grinned walking out the door. I followed him to him and Kevin's room. He walked in and I followed him.
(From Jason't point of view.)
I could hear the shower running. I walked into the bathroom and ripped the shower curtain open. "Hey asshole!"I yelled scaring the shit out of Kevin. "I'll be staying with Nick for a while!" I grabbed my stuff and headed back into the room. He followed putting on his robe.
"Please don't leave me," he pleaded.
"You crossed the line today Kevin. I love you and I want to be there for you. But you don't want that. All you want to do is wallow in your self pity. Well fine you want to go down with the ship go down but don't fucking take me with you. I'm outa here!" I grabbed the rest of my clothes and stormed out of the room. Kevin ran after me and tried to get into the room but I slammed it on his face. I could hear him pounding on the door. Nick just stood there looking at me in shock.
"Well?" I asked.
"Well what?" he asked back
"Didn't I say actions speak louder than words?" I laughed bitterly.
"Yea I guess you did. Now answer me a question Jason," he said. "Just how long are you going to let him stand out there and pound on my door?"
"As long as it takes for him to realise that I am not comming back for a while," I said sadly. I dreaded the thought of not sleeping with Kevin. I dreaded the thought of not holding him. But this had to be done. He had to realise that he wasn't the only one hurting. Finally the pounding on the door stopped. I got up and walked back to my room. I open the door and walked in. Kevin was lying face down crying. I walked over to him and laid down beside and pulled him into a hug. He really let loose and I just held him untill he calmed down. He looked up at me and kissed my lips. I moaned in pain. "Ouch pain pain," I giggled. He tenderly touched my lips and started crying again.
"I am so sorry Jason," he laid his head on my shoulder. "Why do you even stay with me?"
I held up my left hand and pointed to the ring on it. "Because I love you Mister. For better or worse," I said sternly. He kissed my hand and hugged me. "We do need to talk Kevin." He nodded and rolled over on his back and stared up at the ceiling.
"I miss Brian," he said softly.
"We all miss him terribly. But you know who else misses him?" I asked gently.
"Who?" he asked playing with my hair.
"The fans," I told him. "Every night I count at least a hundred or more signs dedicated to Brian. They are hurting and it would do them good to know that you care."
"You know I have never thought about them that way. I usually only think of them as teeny boppers who pay our bills. I never thought of them as loving and caring people with feelings too," he sniffled. He sat up in bed thinking to himself. Getting up he walked to the chair and sat down. I got up to and walked over to him and sat between his legs and laid my head in his lap.
"A penny for your thoughts?" I asked playing with his leg.
"We never did a public memorial for him I mean we had a private one. But we need to do one for the Fans," he said. I smiled up at him. It was so good to hear him talking again. How I missed his soft and sexy voice. I also heard his stomach growl. I giggled at the sound. He laughed softly and tears welled up in my eyes and I started crying. "What's wrong babe?" he asked concerned.
"I never thought I would hear you laugh again. It made me happy," I sniffled. His stomach growled again. I reached over and grabbed the phone and called room service. "Yea this is Jason in room 432. Can you send up one of everything?" I asked. Kevin started laughing. "I'm hungry too you know," I scolded him for laughing.
The rest of the evening was spent making up with Kevin. We stayed up until late just talking and holding eachother. I could tell that he was still immensly sadden but he was coming to grips with Brain's passing.
The next morning I got up and took an early shower and ordered room service for ten people. Ok some of them can really eat and I wanted to make sure that I had enough food. I gently woke Kevin up and guided him into shower. I than called Nick. I heard a sleepy voice mumble into the phone. "Hey sleepy head!" I yelled laughing.
"Jason!" he yelled back. "Why are you calling this early?"
"Get the rest of the guys up and over to my room for breakfast. Kevin and I have to talk to you all," I said laughing. He mumbled something and hung up. I laughed and ran into the bathroom. Kevin was just climbing out of the shower. I whistled at him and he grinned. "Come on babe hurry up and get dressed. We have breakfast with the guys," I said giving him a quick kiss. Nick and Howie were the first one to arrive. AJ followed up the rear. The food arrived shortly after.
"Jesus Jason," laughed Howie. "Think you ordered enough food?" The rest of the guys laughed at my attempt to order food. I looked around the room at my friends. Nick and Kevin were talking and joking and stuffing their faces. AJ and Howie was off in the corner talking quietly. I, out of habit looked for Brian and remembered that he was no longer with us. I started to tear up but forced it down and grabbed a plate and started piling on food. I found a corner all alone and ate in quiet. After about fifteen minutes of picking at my breakfast I felt someone sit down beside me. I looked and saw AJ.
"You alright Jason?" he asked.
"Yea I'm fine, just missing Brain is all," I mumbled playing with my eggs.
"We all miss him Jason," he said consoling me. I noticed that Kevin was looking over my direction. His eyes asked if I was alright. I smiled and nodded and patted the seat beside me. He walked over to me and I fed him a piece of bacon off of my plate. He held it in his mouth and I leaned in for a kiss. We munched on the bacon until we met in middle. We heard ewws and gags from the rest of the guys.
"As Brian would say! Get a room!" Laughed Nick. Every one started laughing.
"This is how Brian would've wanted us to remember him by," spoke up Kevin. Everyone stopped laughing and looked at Kevin in shock. I put my arm around him and pulled him into a hug.
"Uh Guys Kevin would like to talk to you about something." Kevin got up and moved to the center of the room. He looked up at his band mates.
"Jason brought up a point last night. Our fans are missing Brian something terrible. Not a night goes by that we don't see several hundred signs dedicated to Brian's memory. I think it is time as a band to do a Public Memorial Service in Brian's memory," he paused letting the words sink in. Nick started to softly cry and AJ went over to comfort him. "We need to do this for our Fans. They are caring and feeling people who need to mourn the loss of their friend. We owe to them to give them that chance. So I am going to talk to Management to see if they can set it up." There was a silence in the room that weighed heavily on us.
"Come on guys say something," I gently prodded them.
"I think it is a good idea," spoke up Howie. No surprise there. He as still in his but kissing mood.
"I don't think I could do something like that," sniffled Nick.
"Don't worry Nicki, we'll all be there," consoled AJ. "Count me in Kevin."
"Well count me in to. I have to do this for Brian," conceded Nick.
"Good than it settled," said Kevin with a smile on his face. "I'll contact management today."
I was happy for Kevin. He had taken a big step in getting his life back. We all had taken a big step in saying farewell to a dear friend and brother. I felt like a kid on the first day of spring. I saw brighter days ahead. I glanced over at Howie and saw the look of fear and guilt on his face. 'I wonder what that is all about?' I thought to myself.
Yea Yea I am back. Special note to my fans. Remember this is fiction. So dry your eyes and hold on to your seats because As the Last Stone Falls is only going to get rockier.
Comments or questions always welcome. E-mail me at frnceso@yahoo.com