As always thank you for reading my story. I look forward to the response I get. The e-mails I receive help me decide which course to take the story. Please also remember that this is a complete work of fiction. The characters portrayed in this story in no way reflect the actual sexual orientation or values of the Backstreet Boys or Nsync. If you are minor than you know you shouldn't be reading this so scat. Come back when you are legal. If you are of age and not breaking any laws sit back and enjoy.
As the Last Stone Falls
Chapter 14
"Ok Guys it is all settled," said Kevin happily as he hung up the phone. He walked over to me and pulled me into a deep hug. He leaned down and kissed me passionately. I reached up and pulled his head closer to mine. After about of minute of intense kissing we broke apart.
"You mean Management is ok with this?" I asked touching the side of his face.
"Yep, when we go home next month they're going to set it up in Orlando. They're going to do a free concert thing. Only it will be gospel songs and we'll even have a minister to give a sermon and everything," he said excited.
"Good," said Howie. "Now our fans will get a chance to say good bye to Brian." All of the other guys nodded in agreement. I could tell that Nick was still hurting something terrible. So I went over to him and put my arm around him.
"What about it Nick?" I softly asked. He laid his head on my shoulder and started crying.
"I don't want to say goodbye," he sobbed.
"But Nick he is dead, you have to let go," I coached him.
"You don't understand what he meant to me Jason," he sniffled.
"I think I do understand Nicki," I replied stroking his hair. "He was your brother. You and him were best friends. And you don't want to loose that relationship. But Nick," He looked away tears falling freely. "Nick? He would want you to let go. You are tearing yourself up over this," I said to him looking at Kevin for help. He came over and sat on the other side of Nick and put his arm around him too.
"Come on Nick let it out we are here for you buddy," said Kevin.
"What are you feeling right now Nick?" I asked. He looked up at me with anger in his eyes. "Ok so you are feeling anger, let it out."
"I don't know how to let it out. God don't you understand Jason. When Brian was alive we were Frick and Frack. Now we're just nothing. Why did he have to get in that fucking car? And you Howie!" Nick yelled. "Why the fuck didn't you tell anyone about the breaks!" Howie hung his head looking at the ground. Nick stood up and stormed out of the room.
"AJ follow him and make sure he stays out of trouble," ordered Kevin. I looked over at Howie. He had pulled his knees up and was crying softly. My heart went out to him. I went over to him and put my arms around him.
"It's all my fault," he sobbed burying his head in my shoulder.
"Don't blame yourself. You had no idea what Brian was going to do," I tried to soothe him. He shoved me away and stood up.
"You just don't understand Jason!" he yelled. "None of you understand."
"Than why don't you tell us," demanded Kevin. He just shook his head and ran out of our room leaving Kevin and me alone. I got up and went to work cleaning up the breakfast dishes. Kevin pitched in and helped. After we were done he informed me that he was going to take care of me for the rest of the day. He took my hand and led me into the bathroom. He started the water in the tub and slowly took off my clothes. I took his off. Soon we were naked and we climbed into the tub.
"God you are so gorgeous," he whispered as he bent down and covered my body with his. I moaned as his nakedness covered mine. His cock pressed up against my stomach. The searing heat caused me to gasp. My cock sprang to life. His lips traveled to my chest and he lightly bit my nipples causing them to become rock hard. He started to travel down my chest and to my six pack. His tongue gently teasing each ridge. Every time his tongue touched me was like liquid fire. His breath hit my cock and it twitched sending precome flowing out. He gently licked it up. Once his tongue came in contact with my cock I threw back my head and whispered his name. He slowly engulfed the head of my cock. His tongue gently probed the slit.
"Oh God Kevin, that feels so good!" I groaned. He looked up at me and grinned and than started bobbing up and down on my cock. I just relaxed and enjoyed the ride. I could feel myself getting closer and closer. "Oh fuck Kevin I'm close," I moaned out. He just picked up the pace. I felt his hand reach around my ass and he than rammed a finger up my ass. I bucked forward shoving my cock to the back of his throat. I let loose stream after stream of my seed down his throat. After taking the first three shots down his throat. He than pulled off of my shooting cock and allowed my seed to shower his face. Watching my seed land on his face sent me further over the edge. His eyes were closed as he held my ejaculating cock over his angelic face. Finally I was done shooting. I fell back in the tub exhausted. He came back up to me his face still coated with my cum. He had the most intense look of lust and love on his face that I came out over him and Grabbed his head and kissed him fully on the lips driving my tongue deeply into his mouth hungrily catching the remaining remnants of my seed. He pulled me under the water as we dueled for control. I looked down at his raging hard on. I looked up at him with lust crazed eyes. "Fuck me Kevin and fuck me hard," I demanded. He wordlessly turned me over and with one powerful thrust he shoved his entire cock up my waiting ass. I yelled out his name and that only served to drive him harder. I looked back to urge him on harder. He was slamming into me as hard as he could. I marveled at his hot body. Every muscle was rock hard. Every thrust he made racked my body with pleasure. I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the ride. I could feel his cock swell inside of me. He as breathing heavier and heavier. Finally he screamed out my name ramming his cock in one more time shooting his load into me. My ass muscles spasmed milking his shooting cock dry. He fell back into the water excausted. After a few moments of rest we came to eachother and gently kissed. We showered off and walked back into the bedroom not bothering to cover ourselves. I walked to the bed and climbed in and gestured for him to follow. He grinned and climbed in behind me. He pressed his body to me and started kissing me. I just laid there allowing him to ravage my body. After a while he snuggled up to me and drifted off to sleep. He wore a sastified look on his face. And I took pleasure in watching him sleep. I heard a light tapping on the door and reluctantly climbed out of bed and threw on my robe and patted out to the living area. I opened the door and found Nick standing at the door. "Come on in Nick," I stepped aside to allow him in. "Kevin is napping right now, what's on your mind?" I asked showing him to a seat.
"I wanted to apologies for my outburst this morning. I shouldn't have acted that way," he said. I put my arm around him and pulled him close.
"You've done nothing wrong Nick. We were starting to get worried about you though," I comforted him. "You need to express your feelings. Holding them inside will only tear you up. You need to find some way to come to grips with Brian's death." He started to tear up again. I sat silently waiting for him to respond.
"I miss him so much, Jason. We did every thing together. I mean that was until I slept with Justin. Than we kinda drifted apart," Nick explained. I knew there was more to this story than he was willing to tell. So I took a dare and pushed harder.
"How do you feel about that?" I asked.
"I hate myself for hurting him like that. He really thought he loved Justin. Jesus Jason I never even got a chance to say I was sorry. I feel like such a monster for that," he said getting up and walking to the mini bar and pouring him some water. He offered me some and I accepted.
"You feel like a monster for not apologizing or for sleeping with Justin?" I gently prodded taking a drink of water.
"I should have made an effort to mend fences. I didn't do that. I'll regret that for the rest of my life," he admitted staring into his glass.
"What about sleeping with Justin?" I prodded. He glared at me. "Hey Nick it's a fair question now answer it!" I demanded.
"Hell no I am not sorry for sleeping with Justin. We are in love and I am not going to apologies to anyone for falling in love!" he shouted at me.
"Hey don't yell at me! You came to talk to me remember? And besides Kevin is asleep." I scolded him. He calmed down. "Enough talk for now. You want to do something?" I asked.
"The hotel has a nice gym and pool. Why don't we go work out for awhile and than vege in the pool?" he suggested.
"That sounds like a good ideal. How about I meat you there in fifteen minutes?" I asked. He agreed and left to get changed and I crept back into the room. Kevin was still sleeping. I lightly kissed him on the lips and he woke. "SHHH Babe," I soothed him. "Go back to sleep, Nick and I are going to work out and go for swim. I'll see you for lunch." He mumbled something and turned over and went back to sleep. I quietly changed into some work out clothes and grabbed my trunks and headed down to the gym. Once there I started my stretching exercises. By the time I was ready for some weightlifting Nick had shown up. For the next 45 minutes we lifted weights and spotted eachother. I spent 30 minutes on the life roller and the tread mill. I was ready to hit the shower. After showering I jumped into the pool. Nick was already there. I swam about 9 laps and than climbed out and sat in one of the lounge chairs. He climbed out to and sat next to me.
"So when are you two going to get married?" he asked.
"We really haven't set up a date yet," I replied. "I don't think that Kevin is ready for that yet. He is still grieving over Brian."
"When do you want to get married?" he prodded.
"If it were up to me we would already be married. I love him so much and I don't want to spend another day without him. But I need to wait. I don't want to push him into anything right now." Nick looked at me and shook his head. "What?" I exclaimed.
He reached over and grabbed my left hand and showed me the ring. "He is ready, I mean he gave you the ring."
"Getting engaged and getting married is two different things Nick!" I retorted taking my hand back I frowned alittle because I got the impression that Nick didn't want to let go. "I can't expect Kevin to marry me right now. He has to much on his mind right now with Brian and all."
"Ok it is your life and I wont push," he said. I glanced at my watch and saw that it was lunch time I had promised Kevin that I would meet him for lunch. I got up and started to walk away. He reached out and grabbed my hand. His touch sent shocks through me. I looked at him guiltily. He blushed and looked down.
"Do you have to leave?" he asked softly reaching out and stroking my arm. I shoved him away.
"Nick don't do this! You have Justin and I have Kevin. Don't do this!" I said wrenching my hand away. I stormed out of the gym and headed up stairs. Nick ran after me and grabbed my arm when I got into the elevator. "What Nick?" I shouted at him.
"Don't push me away Jason," he begged. "I like you a lot." He than leaned forward and planted a kiss on my lips. I broke away from him wiping my mouth off. I was boiling mad. I shoved him up against the wall.
"I love Kevin you Jack Ass!" I shouted at him. "Don't touch me again." He hung his head and was silent for the rest of the way up to our room. I got out of the elevator first and stormed over to my room. He followed me. I turned around and held my hand up. "Not now Nick just walk away and leave now!" I shouted. He reached up touched my lip. I swatted his hand away.
"I would never hurt you like he does," he whimpered.
"Where is this coming from Nick?" I demanded. "Last I heard you and Justin were madly in love with eachother." He looked down and the tears started.
"He doesn't want a long distance relationship. He just wants to be friends," he sobbed. He needed a hug and I didn't dare go to him.
"He told you this?" I asked.
"When we were getting changed to go to the gym," he told me. God he was hurting so much.
"I'm sorry Nick, I really am. But I am madly in love with Kevin. He is the only man for me," I said sternly. He walked away and I unlocked the door and stepped inside and leaned against the door. A pair of lips attacked me. I moaned and leaned into the kiss. Kevin reached around to the back of my head and pulled me close to him. He drove his tongue down my throat. He broke apart and grinned at me. "Wow!" I smiled. "That is what I call a welcome home kiss."
"Well I missed you Babe," he said grinning like a child.
"I missed you to. Did you have a good nap?" I asked.
"Yea, I needed that. You kinda wore me out this morning," he giggled.
"Tell me about it. I won't be able to walk right for about a week," I laughed.
"Aww, you know you loved it," he said seductively. "Come on in the living area I have lunch waiting." It was so good to see him acting like normal again. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the living area and handed me a plate. It had a grilled chicken salad on it. I walked over to the mini bar and poured me a glass of water and one for Kevin to. I handed him his and sat down next to him and started eating. All the while I ate I was silent. Kevin picked up on this.
"What's wrong?" he asked softly.
"Just doing some thinking is all," I commented hoping that he would drop it. No such luck.
"About what?" he asked laying his head on my shoulder. I put my plate down and looked at him.
"I love you so much," I sobbed wiping my tears away. He looked at me shocked. I looked away not wanting to tell but knowing I had too. He took me by the chin and brought my face up so that I was looking at him.
"Please tell me what is wrong so I can make it better," he pleaded.
"It's Nick," I sighed. "He broke up with Justin today. I just don't want that to happen to us," I said. I hated lying to him. Ok I wasn't lying to him I just wasn't telling him the whole truth either, but Nick and Kevin were friends.
"I don't want that to happen to us either Babe," he answered. I leaned forward and kissed him. Than I yawned in his face. He laughed. "It seems that my lover needs to lie down for a while.
"Are you coming?" I asked rubbing my hand over his crotch. He started laughing. I reached for his strap that held his robe together and pulled it free. He swatted my hand away and I of course pouted.
"You need to sleep. Not play," he scolded kissing my nose. I yawned again and got up and headed towards the bedroom. He followed me and made sure that I was all tucked in. I whimpered when he walked out of the room and he just shook his head and laughed. I lay awake for awhile and thought about Nick.
(From Kevin's point of view.)
I quietly closed the door and headed out to the living area. I shook my head laughing softly. He is a horny little guy wasn't he? But than again that was one of the things I loved about him. I was tempted to hop in bed with him. But my baby needed his rest. I picked up the phone and dialed Nick's room. Nick answered the phone.
"Hey Nick! What are you doing?" I asked. I could have sworn he sounded guilty.
"Uhh nothing Kevin just spending some down time is all," he said too quickly.
"Hey I heard about Justin and wanted to call an say I was sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?" I asked. But knowing Nick he would refuse. He always did bottle his feelings up inside until he exploded. Than Brian was left picking up the pieces. Brian was gone so that job would have to fall on someone else's shoulders. And knowing the rest of the guys they would mess it up and I would be the one stuck doing it.
"No that's alright Kevin, I'll be alright," he assured me.
"Bull shit Nick you're not alright. You've lost your best friend and now you've lost your lover. I'm coming over and we are going to have a talk before you crack and I'm left to pick up the pieces!" I shouted at him. I slammed down the phone and left the room and went over to Nick's room. I pounded on the door and he opened it.
"Really Kevin I'm alright," he mumbled. I could tell he was crying. His eyes were all red and puffy.
"Sure you are Nick. That is why you've been crying your eyes out. Come on buddy I may not be Brian but I think I can help," I said trying to put my arm around him. He shoved me off and got up went to other side of the room like I was poison.
"Yea your right Kevin you're not Brian. He's dead and he is not coming back!" he screamed at me with tears streaming down his face. "God I hate him for leaving us all behind. Didn't he know that we needed him!" He collapsed to the floor sobbing uncontrollably. I went to him and pulled him into a hug.
"Let it out Nicki, let it all out," I soothed him as I held him in my arms rocking back and forth.
"Dam him, dam him, why did he have to go and die?" he wailed. "I need him so bad." My shirt was getting wet because of his tears but I didn't care. I realized that all the while I was wallowing in my own selfish self pity one of my friends was hurting with no one to comfort him. Nick had just barely entered adulthood and his best friend was gone. I let Nick cry in my arms until he got it all out of his system. I suddenly realize that he had cried himself to sleep. I picked him up and carried him to his bed and laid him down and covered him up. I notice that on his other pillow was a picture of Brian and him. Brian had him in a headlock and Nick was struggling to get free. Both of them wore their usual grins on their faces when they were horseplaying. I remembered how aggravated that used to make me when they did that. Now I would give anything to see them wrestle again.
"Well Kevin that isn't going to happen is it?" I asked myself bitterly. I reached over and gently stroked the picture of Brian's face. "God I miss you cus," I said as a single tear fell down my face. "We are falling apart down here and we could sure use your help." I got up and walked out of the room and headed down to the hotel bar.
Chapter 15
The Blame is Laid upon Shoulders
The darkness of the bar enveloped me like a warm blanket as I found a small table in the corner of the bar. I sat down and waited for a waiter. One finally came and I ordered a soda. I wasn't in the mood to get drunk. All I wanted was some time alone. I heard a commotion and looked up to see Howie staggering around. I rolled my eyes and made my way over to him. He fell in my arms and looked up at me.
"Hey Kevin," he slurred. "You know something Kev, this is all of your fault you know." I helped him to a table and sat him down. "Yup it's all your fucking fault. If you hadn't fallen in love with that cocksucking Jason than Brian would still be alive."
"You're drunk Howie. You don't know what you are saying," I said angrily. He just glared at me and raised his glass to his lips. I took the glass away and set on a tray that was passing my way.
"Hey I wasn't done with that yet," he slurred and than promptly passed out. I rolled my eyes again and picked him up and threw him over myshoulder and carried him out of the bar and up to his room. I opened his door and carried him in and laid him on his bed. I looked around and saw that his room was mess. He had taken everything out of his suitcase and garment bag and threw it all over the place. I spotted his Tux jacket and decided to hang it up. As I picked it up I detected an oil smell. It was coming from his tux. I inspected it closer and noticed a stain. I also noticed a piece was torn out of it.
"Jesus Howie, you should really learned to take care of your things better," I said aloud rolling my eyes. Yea I know I seem to be doing allot of that lately so sue me. After picking up his room I headed out of his room and back to ours. A late after noon nap sounded real good. By this time Mr. Horny Toad should be asleep. I laughed at that. I was still wore out from this morning. I snuck in our room and crept to the bed. Sure enough my angel was asleep. I slid under the covers and snuggled up to him. He moaned my name and wrapped his arms around me. I closed my eyes and basked in the feeling of being close to him.
(From Jason's point of view)
I awoke to Kevin's arms around me. I grinned evilly and I peeked under the blankets. "Yess!" I exclaimed to myself. He as naked as always. This would make my job easier. I slid down his gorgeous body until I was face to face with his limp cock. I took it in my mouth and wrapped my tongue around it. The response was instantaneous. His cock began to swell until it was it it's full glory. I gently licked the underside of it paying attention to rough but soft texture of it. My tongue traveled up to the head where it parted the slit and dove in. He let out a moan but remained asleep. 'Hmm this was going to take some work,' I thought happily to myself. Soon I was rewarded with a huge stream of precome, which I gobbled up of course. It would be a shame to allow a treat like that go to waste. I noticed that he was moaning louder and was gently thrusting his hips. The blankets lifted off and I saw a surprised Kevin staring down at me. I grinned and waved at him and continued with my mission. I few moments later I was rewarded with his cum. After cleaning him up I made my way up to him and snuggled up in his arms. He started laughing softly. "What?" I asked innocently. Which of course made him laugh all the harder.
"I thought I was safe for the rest of the day," he giggled. I reached down and ran my hand over his rock hard stomach. "Ohh not again," he moaned. "Please Jason don't you ever rest?" I busted up laughing swinging myself out of bed and I padded over to the bathroom and jumped into the shower. Once in I started singing Tell Me Why really off key to drive him nuts. Sure enough the curtain parted and a tousled-headed Kevin peeked in.
"How much do I have to pay you to get you to stop?" he asked. I noticed that he was fully dressed. So I did the most logical thing and dragged him into the shower with me. "Why you little brat!" he yelled now soaking wet. I busted up laughing and ran out of the shower grabbing a towel on my way out. I ran into the living room and right into AJ.
"Hi AJ, whacha doing?" I asked innocently as I ran away from the charging Kevin who was still soaked to the skin.
"Uh not much," said AJ casually raising an amused eyebrow as Kevin grabbed my towel and I dashed into bedroom. Kevin followed laughing. Once inside I gathered him up in a hug and kissed him on the lips. I drove my tongue into his waiting mouth. He responded by ripping off his shirt. In no time at all he was naked as I was and he flipped me on the bed and impaled me with his cock in one swift thrust. I was in heaven. With each thrust I moaned and whimpered at the same time. After about fifteen minutes of hard fucking he exploded in me. We laid in each other's arms for a few moments gently kissing eachother. A pounding on the door interrupted us.
"Hey you two horny lovebirds come on were hungry out here," demanded AJ. I looked at Kevin and giggled. He started laughing to as he got off of me. I slid out of the bed and put on some clothes. By this time Kevin was dressed and was waiting for me. I walked out of the room to see that all of the other guys were waiting on me. Kevin stared at the floor. Nick was playing with his thumbs. AJ was paying attention to the design in the carpet. Howie was just staring off into space. I could have sworn he looked drunk
"Uhh Jason, We have something to ask you and we don't know how you are take it," spoke up AJ. I looked at Kevin and he looked away.
"OK guys you are scaring me," I said.
"Management has been bugging us to replace Brian. We been putting it off for as long as we can. But they want our input this evening," Kevin said. I got the impression that I wasn't going to like this one bit. He walked over to me and took my hand and looked into my eyes and said. "Jason, we've heard you sing and watched you dance. We all think you are good, real good---," he started. I held up my hand and started sobbing and shaking my head no. "Jason we want you to replace Brian on the tour with us," he blurted out.
I was in shock. How could he do this to me? How could he expect me to replace Brian? God what was I going to do? I turned and ran into our room. I fell on the bed sobbing. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up and was surprised to see AJ sitting beside me.
"Why?" I asked him. "How can you guys expect me to replace Brian. He was my friend. I can't do that to his memory," I sobbed.
"Kevin thought you would be great at it," he mumbled.
"Kevin thought I would be great at this?" I shouted. "Is he out of his fucking mind?" The door flew open and Kevin came walking in. "How could you?" I screamed at him. It hit him full force in the face. "He was my friend. I wont do that to his memory. I won't take his place. That position belongs to Brian and Brian alone. How could you?" I sobbed at him. He sat down beside me and rubbed my shoulder. I moved away from him not wanting him to touch me. I was mad and disgusted at him both at the same time. I didn't even want to be in the same room as him. I got up and walked out of the room and into the hallway.
I made my way up to the roof. It was quiet up there and peaceful. I sat in a corner. A million things were running through my mind at this time. Me a Backstreet Boy? I valued my privacy not that I had much since I started selling screen plays. But what I did have I valued very much. If I took this route my privacy would be out the door. A light appeared in front of me and I could see a figure. "Oh not again," I complained aloud. I heard a laugh. It was so familiar that it chilled me to the bone. The light calmed down some and I could make out the features. My eyes filled with tears. He had come home. He walked over to me and sat down beside me.
"Yes Jason, I could see you as a Backstreet Boy," he said smiling at me. I shook my head no.
"Ok it was the chicken salad or to much sex, yea that's it, to much sex. I have to talk to Kevin about that," I said out loud to myself. He threw back his head and laughed.
"No Jason, it's really me," he said smiling at me.
"But Brian, you are dead," I stammered.
"Really? I had no idea," he laughed. "So that would explain the walking threw walls thing." I looked at him like he was nuts.
"Man even in death you are impossible," I laughed shaking my head. "Oh my what would Kevin think? Me talking to his dead cousin. I must get myself checked out. Excuse me while I go down stairs and see if I left my sanity in the bathroom or something, I'll be right back." I said getting up to leave. Brian reached out and stopped me.
"Please Jason, I'm serious," he pleaded. "I don't have much time. I cross over tonight. I've stayed in this realm for as long as I can. They expect me to come home."
I looked up at him. Yep it was the same beautiful Brian. His blonde highlights and blue eyes still captivated me. If I concentrated long enough I could almost smell his cologne. He waved his hand infront of me like he always did when I was distracted. "Hello any one there? Person from the dead here!" he laughed. I glared at him. And suddenly I was angry.
"How can you joke like that!" I yelled at him. "And why did you have to go and die on us. Do you realize the mess you made when you died on us!" I scolded. "Kevin is a wreck and Nick is barely eating or sleeping, Howie is always drunk and blamming himself and AJ is trying to juggle everyones emotions. We need you dammit!" I hurled at him. He tried to pull me into a hug and I backed up. He got this hurt expression on his face. "Don't try and touch me Brian. You're leaving and I can't deal with that right now. Now why don't you give me your message and go to heaven or where ever you dead guys are supposed to go!" I hurled at him. I turned my back on him. I heard him step next to me. I looked over at him. He looked at me with such love. He smiled his award winning smile at me. You know the one that leaves you thinking that you are the only one in his life. God I missed that smile. I teared up and looked up at the sky. "God! why do you always take the good guys from us!!" I shouted to the heavens. "I'm realy pissed about this you know. Hello??? Any one listening to me up there?" Brian coughed lightly and I turned to look at him.
"You know yelling at the big guy is not going to win you any favors," he commented wryly. I fliped him off and he just raised an eyebrow. "Are you done venting now?" he asked. I nodded yes and he reached out and touched my shoulder. I closed my eyes savoring his touch. I felt guilty because Kevin should be here not me. "Kevin is not ready for this. You're the only one I can reach right now. Kevin heart is closed right now. All of their hearts are closed right now. Especialy Howard's, I can't even get close to him. He is wearing a very dark shadow around him right now. Watch him and take care of him for me." I looked up at him. He was so beautiful. "I have a special mission for you Jason. Love Kevin with all of your heart. He really needs you right now. I am not going to force you to join the group. That is your decision to make. But please look out for Kevin. He will have the hardest time saying good bye. Next time you see him remind of the rose on his father's grave. He will understand." I could see that he was fading. I reached out to touch him again.
"Nick is having a real hard time with this too," I told him.
"I know he is. I am leaving part of me with him. My sense of humor. It drives Kevin nuts," he said laughing. I held on to that sound for as long as I could. "It is time now Jason," he said with tears streaming down his face.
"Don't go," I begged. He came forward and pulled me into a hug and pressed his lips to mine. I allowed him to invade my body and soul. I knew that He always loved me. I would not deny him his last wish. Finally he was gone and I was alone. I looked out over the city and thought about what he said. Something in the back of my mind told me I should be guilty about the kiss. But I wasn't. Kevin would not deny Brian one last kiss from me. I smiled as it became clear to me. I knew in my heart what I was supposed to do. I ran down the stairs and into our room. Everyone was still there wearing long faces. I went up to Howie and pulled him into a hug. "Don't worry Howard, he is watching over us and will never stray far from us," I consoled him. I went over to Kevin and pulled him into a hug too.
"So are you going to join us?" he asked hopefully. I shook my head yes. He got this huge smile on his face and pulled me into a tight hug. "So my baby is going to be a Backstreet Boy," he giggled. I gently pushed him away.
"I wont do it on this tour. Those are Brian's songs and I wont intrude on his memory like that. I will wait until your next album," I explained. "And I want this kept quiet until after the memorial." Every one agreed. And Kevin got on the phone with Management and told them that I agreed to join up. After he was off the phone he announced that he was buying dinner so we could all celebrate. I really wasn't in the mood to celebrate but went along any way. On the way down to the Reasturant Nick grabbed AJ's hat and started playing keep away from him tossing the hat to me. I played along for awhile. Kevin stared at Nick in shock. I started laughing.
"Give him his hat back Nick!" ordered Kevin in a scolding voice.
"Oh do I have to?" Nick whined. I swore he sounded just like Brian when he did that. The rest of the guys noticed it to. Kevin got pale and looked away.
"Man that was weird," whispered AJ to me.
"Why?" I asked.
"Brian used to do that all of the time," he told me. I smiled and looked up. "You know something that we don't?' he asked me.
"Maybe it's Brian's way of keeping tabs on us," I said. AJ nodded and smiled and saluted looking up.
"Here is to you B rock," he said in a small voice.
Chapter 16 (Ok here is where the fun starts so buckle up folks the ride is going to get rocky!)
It is late at night and Howie is still awake. He is haunted by images of the past. He gets up and goes into the bathroom to get ready for bed. He walks infront of the mirror.
"OHHHH Howie!" says a familiar voice.
"Go away!" he screams glaring at the reflection in the mirror. The reflections just laughs. Howie turns around leaves the bathroom and slams the door.
"You can't run from me Howie, I am your other side. You know the one. The one that killed Brian," taunted Howie's reflection. Howie screams and throws a bottle of beer at the mirror in the living area. It shatters into a million pieces. "You can't hide from me Howie," laughs the reflection form another mirror.
"What do you want from me?" screams Howie.
"Me?" taunts the reflection. " I just want what you want. Jason out of our lives. And you are going to get him out of our lives for good. He already made you kill Brian. Who is next Howie? You sweet heart Kevin?" laughs the reflection.
"No I wont kill another person, I wont do that," he screams.
"Oh but Howie don't you see you have to. He has taken your Kevin away from you, made you kill Brian. And now he is going to join your presious little band. HE MUST DIE!!" screams the Reflection. Howie screams and runs out of the room. He runs up to the roof and to the side. He climbs up on the ledge and considers jumpinb.
"Ohh Howie you don't want to do that," says the same haunting voice. "I still need you. You have work to do." Howie turns around an sees a figure standing suspended in mid air. It is a reflection of himself. Only this one is mean and twisted. "Now grow up an step down off of that ledge. You have work to do!" shouts the reflection. Howie obeys his reflection and steps off the ledge. The reflection disapears leaving him alone with his tortured soul.
I awake in the loving arms of Kevin. I am sore from yesterday's work out. (and not from the gym.) I groan and climb out of bed and hobble to the bathroom and turn on the shower as hot as I can get it. I ease into allowing the hot water to cascade down my back. I close my eyes enjoying the feel of the water wash over me. I find my self drifting off to sleep so I wake myself up and finish. After I am done I climb out and shuffle back into the room and look over at my sleeping lover. God, he looked so sexy. "No I am not going to do this again," I scold myself looking down.
"You know you shouldn't talk to yoursellf," giggled a soft and sexy voice. I glance up to see Kevin grinning sleepily at me.
"Good morning babe," I replied. "The shower is all yours." He groaned as he rolled out of bed. "A little soar this morning?" I asked grinning. He flipped me off and kept walking.
"This is your fault you know," he mumbled.
"Yea but you know you liked it," I teased. I continued to get dressed and headed into the living area and picked up the phone and dialed room service and ordered breakfast. The door knocked and I opened it. A sleepy Nick came mumbling in. Followed by Howie and AJ. I looked at Howie who wore a haunted look on his face. "Bad night Howie?" I asked. He looked at me like I was a monster. "Whoa there buddy. Calm down," I said putting my arm around him.
"Bad dreams last night is all," he mumbled.
"Something you want to get off of your chest?" I offered. "You know Howie they say confession is good for the soul," I teased lightly. He jumped away from me like he had been shocked. "A little jumpy aren't we?" I shook my head and went to the bar and grabbed a coke and opened in and took a drink. I paused when I saw everyone staring at me. "What?" I demanded.
"You shouldn't drink that stuff you know," scolded Nick as he tried to take my drink form me. "Especialy the first thing in the morning." A hand reached over and took the soda away from me. I looked up and laughed as Kevin took a drink to.
"Hah!" I laughed at Nick as I retrieved my drink and drank the rest of it. "Like you are mister health food junkie!" I teased Nick. There was knock on the door and Nick opened it and brought the room service cart in. There was a mad dash for the food. After every one was served they all sat down and started eating. "Hello!!?" I demanded. They all stopped looking at me like I had sprouted a second head or something. "Brian would be ashamed of you right now. Kevin please say the blessing?" I asked. He raised his eyebrows at me. "Come on Kevin we don't have all day you know," I urged grabbing his hand and He bowed his head and lead us in the blessing and than we started eating.
"Uh Jason?" asked Kevin.
"Yea Kevin what is it?" I asked munching on piece of bacon.
"Today you have to meet with Fatima," he announced.
"Fatima? who is Fatima and isn't Fatima a place?" I asked. They all busted up laughing. Nick came over and patted my head.
"After today you will learn the new meaning of suffering," he laughed. All of the guys including Howie was laughing at my confusion.
"Come on guys let me in on the joke. Who the hell is this Fatima person?" I demanded throwing a piece of toast at Kevin bouncing it off of his head. He promptly threw it back at me. I dodged it and it hit AJ.
"Fatima is our trainor or slave driver or torturer or whatever you want to call her," explained AJ. "Trust me she will find new ways to make you suffer."
"Don't worry about it Jason," consoled Kevin when he saw my face. "She justs wants to get to know you. All she is going to do is get you familiar with our basic dance steps and routines. You'll do fine."
"When do I meet with her?" I asked not looking forward to this. We heard a knocking at the door.
"That would be her now!" exclaimed Nick rubbing his hands together. I got the disinct impression that Nick was enjoying this too much. I glared at him as he passed me.
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" I asked.
"Hell yea! now she has someone new to pick on besides me all of the time," he blurted out as he opened the door.
"Yea right," said Fatima. You have always been my favorite Backstreet Boy to torture. So get ready to sweat blondie." I busted up laughing at Nick's pissed off look. He flipped me off.
I stood up as she walked into the room. "You must be Jason Gibson," she said smiling. She reached out and grabbed my hand in a firm shake. Than she did something that shocked me. She pulled me into a hug. "I realize that this is hard for you. Brian left some big shoes to fill. He also left alot of broken hearts across the globe. I don't envy you in your task. This tour is not going to easy for you." I looked at Kevin and he shrugged his shoulders.
"Uhh Fatima," Kevin spoke up. "Jason has made it clear that he isn't going to start until after the release of our new album. We have to rework it to include his voice and remove Brian's."
"Well management wants him out there in the next show. They've already released a statement naming Jason as the next Backstreet Boy," she explained. I got mad and stormed out of the room. "Hey, come back we have work to do." I didn't pay attention, I just kept walking into the bedroom slamming the door.
I heard a soft knocking at the door. "Go away!" I shouted. The door opened and a pair of arms incircled me and a pair of lips graced my neck. "They lied to me Kevin," I sobbed.
"I'm sorry babe. I didn't know that they would do this to you," he said looking into my eyes.
"It's like they don't even care about his memory. What are the fans going to think? They're not ready to accept an replacement. My God Kevin how the hell do they expect me to go out and perform his songs. I feel like I am stepping on his grave. I just wont do it." I sat down on the bed looking up at Kevin. For the first time I have ever known him he was at a loss for words. I started thinking about the rest of the guys. It was there jobs on the line to. The more I thought about it the more I realized that with or without Brian the show must go on. The band and it's music was geared around Five singers. There were only four. I bowed my head and admitted defeat. "Tell Fatima I'll do it," I mumbled. Kevin kneeled down and pulled my head to his chest and kissed the top of it. We got up and left the room and headed into the living area. We found the rest of the guys and Fatima gathered around the T.V. We went up to the TV too.
"You've guys need to watch this," whispered Nick. I saw on the screen a huge crowd infront of our hotel. They were holding up signs that clearly stated their positions. A news caster stepped in front of the camera.
"We are out side the Marriott where a huge crowd of Backstreet Boys fans have gathered to voice their opinion on the statement released concerning the replacement of Brian Littrel who died in a fiery crash less than a month ago. A little over an hour ago the groups Management released a statement naming Jason Gibson the screen play writer and Fiance of Backstreet Boys oldest member Kevin Richardson will replace Brian Littrel," said the news caster. A fan stuck her head in front of the camera.
"Go home Jason! We don't want you!!" she screamed with tears streaming down her face holding up a picture of Brian. The crowd errupted in cheers at her outburst. Kevin reached over and pulled me into a hug.
"I am so sorry," soothed Kevin. I hugged him back and headed out of the room. "Where are you going?" he asked concerned.
"Someone has to talk to the fans and that someone has to be me," I told him.
"I'm going with you," announced Kevin.
"We are all going with you!" spoke up Nick. "You're part of us now. We do this together." So all five of us walked out together. We arrived to the lobby and we could already hear the crowd. There had to be close to two thousand fans out there. I grabbed Kevin's hand and he squeezed it and we walked through the doors. A camera was shoved in my face along with a mic.
"Mr. Gibson," shouted the Reporter. "How do you feel about the fan's responce to you being named as Brian's replacement?"
"Mr. Gibson will make a statement to the fans and press in a few moments," spoke up Kevin. I walked up to a Podium that the hotel had set up. I looked out at the crowd. There were alot of angry and hurt faces out there. I took a deep breath.
"Late last night I was asked to join the Backstreet Boys. After much praying and thinking on the matter I accepted on the condition that I would not start performing with the group until after the release of the next album," I started.
"Go the fuck home Jason. We don't want you! We want Brian!" screamed a fan. I took a deep breath and continued.
"Brian Littrel was a good friend of mine. And I want him back to in the worse way. But I must face up to the fact that that Brian is dead. And you must face up to that fact as well. We all loved Brian dearly. We all miss him something terrible. There isn't a night that goes by that Kevin and the guys don't morn the loss of his cousin and their friend and brother," I said with tears streaming down my face. There was a silence in the crowd. The girl that held yelled at me was hanging her head in shame. "Brian would want the group to continue. That is why I accepted. I want to keep Brian's memory alive through music. Music was a vital part of Brian's life and I attend to keep his memory alive through music with or without the support of his fans. I want you all to know that I was not expecting to start right away. But the group insisted and I accepted for the survival of the group. Brian will always be a part of our lives. His body has died but his spirit remains within each of us. I thank you for comming here today and offering your continued support for the Backstreet Boys. And I sincerely hope that someday you will come to accept me as a member of this talanted group." I turned and walked away. I kept walking and closed my mind to the crowd. I vaguely remember Kevin calling me back. I turned around and looked over the crowd. They were crying and cheering at the same time. I looked at Kevin and he to was crying. He held out his hand and I took it and came forward and took my new place beside the Backstreet Boys.
Late that Night.
I was resting in the loving and caring arms of my lover. He was absent mindedly playing with my left nipple. I looked up at him and reached and stroked his face. He leaned into my touch and kissed my hand. "A penny for your thoughts?" I softly asked.
"Just thinking about us is all," he lazily commented.
"About?" I pushed. He looked down at me and smiled.
"You have alot of energy," he said smiling. He was refering to the concert tonight. He was right for the first time in my life I performed in front of thousands of screaming people. And I felt energiesed in a way I had never felt before.
"I made a bunch of mistakes though," I complained. He started laughing. I poked him in the ribs. "Don't start mister!" I scolded.
"I will never forget the look on Nick's face," he laughed.
"Ok Ok so I sang his solo! I apologised to him after the show," I deffended myself.
"And you danced right infront of AJ. Man I thought he was going to kill you!" he said giggling. I was not looking forward to tomorrows breakfast. I snuggled up closer to Kevin. He held me tighter. "Good night Babe," he whispered. I kissed him good night and fell right to sleep.
In Howies room.
"REVILE REVILE, UP AND AT IM," shouted the reflection. Howie sat straight up in bed.
"No, no not again!" he whailed.
"Well well things didn't go well today did they?" taunted the reflection.
"Go away!" Howie screamed at the mirror.
"Fine I'll go away. All you have to do is kill Jason," demanded the Reflection.
"I wont do that!" shouted Howie. "Jesus Christ, I must be going nuts. I'm talking to myself," he said looking around.
"And you will keep talking to yourself until you start listening to yourself. Kill Jason!!" screamed the Reflection.
"NO!" Howie shouted.
"But Howie don't you understand?" asked the Reflection assuming a childlike voice. "Jason is the reason for the pain you are going through right now. He is the reason Brian is dead. Jason is the one who should be lying in the cold ground not Brian."
"I've already killed one person and I'm not going to kill another! I just wont do that," insisted Howie turning over and covering up his head.
"Oh Howie I am so disapointed in you. Here I thought you and I were on the same wavelength. You will kill Jason or I will drive you insane. Hell you're already half way there," laughed the Reflection. Howie sat up in bed and screamed at the top of his lungs. He continued to scream until he had no breath left.
In our room.
"Hey Kevin, did you hear something?" I asked sleeply.
"It was just Nick he lost another game or something," mumbled Kevin. "Go back to sleep Babe." I shrugged my shoulders and laid back down. I was in my own private heaven with my lover Kevin. Nothing could take that away from me. I looked up at his gorgeous face as he slept.
"I am the luckiest man in the world," I whispered.
Ok that is it for this section. Please send me your comments. You like or you hate? Or you think this to far out?" Whatever your thoughts are on this let me know. e-mail me at frnceso@yahoo.com