Here we go again. You know the drill. Yada yada yada Now on with the Story
As the Last Stone Falls
Chapter 23
Everyone in the room was silent as they stared at me. I looked Nick over to make sure he wasn't badly injured. He was going to have black eye and a fat lip. "How can you even care for him!" Justin shouted at me.
"We all make mistakes Justin," I said calmly. He just glared at me.
"But he fucking raped you!" he yelled with tears streaming down his face. "God I can't believe I ever loved you!" he hurled at Nick. I went to Justin and pulled him into a hug. "He raped you man, how can you forgive that?" I gently wiped the tears from his face.
"Because he is my friend. Through every thing he has been there for me. Yes he makes mistakes all of the time but he has a good heart. Deep down he is a good person. And we can't give up on that. We have to forgive and move on. Or else the world really will go to hell." I explained to him.
"Well don't expect me to forgive him. I can't believe I fell in love with him," Justin brushed by me and stormed upstairs. I started to follow him but I felt the familiar grip of Kevin's arms surround me.
"Let him go babe," he said softly. "He just needs some time is all."
"He is my friend and he needs me," I said to Kevin sternly. He let me go and I followed him upstairs. "Justin where are you?" I asked. I noticed him standing on the deck over looking the view. I slid open the door. "Hey man you're going to freeze to death out here," I said sliding a comforter around his shoulders. He shrugged his shoulders. "Penny for your thoughts?" I asked him.
"I come here to spend some time with one of my best friend before he gets married and I find out he is raped by my former lover and you want to know what I am thinking?" he asked glaring at me. I noticed that his eyes were filling with tears again. I pulled him into a hug. He let loose and started sobbing into my shoulder. "Why did he do that?" he sobbed over and over again.
"This isn't just about me is it?" I asked softly. He shook his head no and sniffled. "Want to tell me what it is?"
"Him!" he said shortly.
"Him?" I asked confused.
"Yes him dammit!" he yelled at me. "God Jason, sometimes you can be so dense. I still love him!" I took a couple of steps back shocked.
"You mean Nick right?" he nodded his head yes. "Well why don't you tell him?
"What?" he yelped looking at me like I had sprouted a third head or something. "After he rapes you I'm just supposed to say, hey Babe let's pick up where we left off. I still love you." Ok so it did sound crazy. We sat in silence for a few moments. I could tell that this was really bothering him and it hurt me to see him in pain.
"Alright let's forget Nick for right now. How are you really?" he asked me concerned. I thought about the past three weeks. I had stopped sleeping with Kevin. I could barely stand him touching me. We haven't made love during the entire time since Nick raped me. I wasn't eating right. And I had taken at least three showers a day. Not to mention the horrible nightmares I was having. Tears came to my eyes.
"Not good Justin," I sobbed out. Over the course of the next minute I told him what my life had been like over the last three weeks. "God Justin, I'm getting married in two days and I can't even make love to my future husband." He pulled me into a hug gently rubbing my back.
"Have you even talked to him about it?" he asked.
"I don't have the nerve to talk to him about it," I admitted. He stood up and walked to the door and went into house. I sat there waiting for him to return instead Kevin came out carrying a steaming cup. He handed it to me. I smelled it, it was hot chocolate. I grinned and took a sip. Yep he made it just like I liked it with a touch of peppermint in it. I patted the seat next to me. He took the cup from me and took a sip.
"I think it is time we had that talk," he said sternly looking into my eyes. There was so much love in them that I almost melted. "Babe, I want you to know that I love you. I don't think any different of you because of the rape. I still love you," he said sternly. I nodded and took his hand. "Please Jason let me in, I want to know what you are feeling. I want to share the pain you are going through. I want us to be a real couple again," he said with tears streaming down his face.
"I am so sorry I put you through this Kevin. I was so caught up in my own self-pity that I didn't take into consideration your feelings. Can you forgive me?" I asked wiping the tears from his face. "I've been through allot of pain. So have you and I didn't see that. I promise you that I will be more considerate in the future," I said hoping that he would let the matter drop.
"Uh uh Jason, it is not going to work. You are hurting really badly and you need to talk these feelings through. Please tell me what you are feeling right now," he coached me. I clamed up not wanting to go into my deepest feelings. I was in too much pain for that. I looked down at my feet. I felt his finger on my chin and he forced me to look into his eyes. "Dam you Jason!" he whispered harshly. "I love you, I care for you, and I hurt with you and still you wont let me in," he hurled at me. "Fine wallow in you own fucking grief," he said jerking his finger back hard and turning from me and stormed into the house. I heard something crash against the wall. I winced at the sound. I walked back into the house and found the picture of Kevin and me on the floor. The glass in the frame was broken. I heard him in the bedroom. I went to the door and opened it and walked in. He was packing his things.
"What are you doing?" I asked in fear. He glared at me and continued packing. "I don't want you to go," I whimpered.
"I wont stay here and watch you destroy your self. I want to help but you wont accept it so I am giving you an easy way out," he said calmly.
"Please stop packing," I pleaded as I started unpacking his things. It really looked comical to see him packing his stuff and see me unpacking them.
"Come on Jason stop," he said getting pissed.
"No!" I said to him. "I won't let you go!" Finally he stopped packing and I continued to unpack. "Uh Jason I kinda stopped packing," he said slowly a smile breaking across his face.
"Well I have to finish unpacking to keep ahead of you," I giggled. He laughed too and pitched in and helped me unpacked his stuff. "If you're ready to listen I'm ready to talk." I sat down in the bed and he sat down next to me. I took several deep breaths and looked him in the eyes. Reaching up I stroked the side of his face. He leaned into my touch and kissed the palm of my hand. I closed my eyes savoring the feel of his lips against my skin. "God how I have missed that touch," I whispered.
"You can have it any time you want," he whispered back at me bending down and capturing my lips with his.
"I feel dirty," I sobbed out. "Every time I think of making love to you I feel dirty and used."
"I don't see you like that at all," he said soothingly. "I still see you as the incredibly good looking man who bumped into me all those months ago and captured my heart."
"When will I ever be able to make love to you again?" I asked sniffling.
"Is that what you are worried about?" he asked me softly. I nodded.
"Ohh Babe, I'm not in any rush. You take all the time in the world. I love you and I am willing to wait as long as you need to, I don't have to share your bed to be in love with you." I laid my head against his chest listening to my favorite music. "But I do have one request to make," he said softly.
"Name it Sweetie," I replied looking up at him.
"Can I sleep with you tonight? I am so lonely at night alone," he said sniffling a little.
"I thought you would never ask," I said grinning up at him. My stomach growled and we both laughed. We stood up and headed out into the living room and joined the guys for cold pizza.
Chapter 24
"Man am I stuffed," I groaned leaning back. Kevin leaned forward and pushed on my stomach. "I wouldn't advise you doing that unless you want me to give you back my dinner," I teased him. He immediately withdrew his hand. I noticed that Justin and Nick were no where in sight. "Where is Nick and Justin?" I asked.
"They went down stairs to talk," replied JC.
"Are you sure that is wise?" I asked worried. Kevin put his hand on my leg.
"Leave them be Jason, they have a lot of stuff to work through," he said calmly. I let the matter drop. But I couldn't help wondering what they were talking about. The last time those two got together they traded punches.
Down stairs in one of the guestrooms.
Nick and Justin were sitting next to each other. "Why did you rape him?" Justin asked Nick softly.
"I don't know Justin, I guess it was just that I missed you so much. And I was falling in love with him. I couldn't understand why he didn't love me back. I got angry and I just acted. I didn't even remembering doing it. When I realized I did it I wanted to kill myself. I couldn't believe that I had raped my best friend." Nick said with tears falling down his face. Justin put his arm around him and pulling him close. Nick tried to pull away but Justin held on. "Let go Justin, I'm not fit to be around people. All I do is hurt the ones I love," he sobbed out wrenching free. He walked to a corner and sat down on the floor looking down at his feet.
"I still love you," mumbled Justin barely loud enough for Nick to hear.
"You can't love me, I am a monster I am unfit to be loved by anyone!" Nick shouted. Justin jerked liked he had been hit. "Every time I fall in love I end up hurting the person I fell in love with."
"I don't care! I still love you and I'm not going to stop!" Justin shouted back. Nick looked up at him fear. "I want this to work dammit!"
I'll just hurt you again and I can't bear to do that," Nick sobbed. Justin gathered Nick up in a hug and held him close.
"You are a good person Nick, I love you and I want this to work between us. I've missed you something terrible," said Justin running his hand through Nick's hair. Nick looked up at him.
"You mean after everything I have done you still love me?" he asked surprised. In answer to Nick's question Justin leaned forward and kissed Nick lightly on the lips. Nick blushed and looked away. "So does this mean we are a couple again?" asked Justin hopefully. Nick nodded giving Justin a quick kiss on the cheek. "What do you want to do now?"
"I guess we should let the guys know we are still alive," Nick suggested. Justin nodded and took Nick's hand and pulled him back upstairs.
We were all sitting around being lazy watching TV. Scrappy had stretched over the top of Kevin and I. I was petting his head and he was sleeping. Kevin's arm was around me snuggling up close to me. AJ and the rest of the guys were arguing over what color the tux's were going to be for wedding.
"I like black with red Ties," interjected JC.
"To formal JC," complained Chris. Every one looked at Chris like he was nuts.
"Hellooo!" shouted Joey in Chris's ear. "This is a wedding. How formal can we get?" Chris glared at him.
"I like Baby blue," spoke up Justin as he and Nick walked back into the room. We all looked up and noticed that they were holding hands. I raised my eyebrows and looked at Kevin. He had his mouth open. I reached over and closed it for him. Justin and Nick laughed at us.
"So are you two a couple now?" I asked slowly.
"Were going to take it real slow and see how things go," spoke up Nick. Every one wished them well.
"Now let's get back to the colors," ordered AJ. I shuddered at the thought of AJ picking colors for our wedding. Kevin caught me and busted up laughing.
"Uh AJ, something tells me that Jason is not to keen on the idea of you picking the colors," he said giggling. I poked him in the ribs making him groan in pain.
"Did I hurt you?" I asked worried. He shook his head no and kissed me to assure me that I didn't.
"Hey, I know style when I see it," complained AJ. By this time every one had joined in on the fun of picking on poor AJ. For some reason I thought of Brian. He would love being here helping with the wedding plans. Tears came to my eyes and I got real quiet.
"What's wrong Babe?" Kevin asked concerned.
"I was just thinking of old times and got a little upset," I said with a little smile.
"I know, I miss him too," soothed Kevin. I laid my head on his chest and was quiet for awhile. I listen to them continue to argue about the colors. Finally Justin's color won out. I could tell by the look on his face that he was pleased.
"Hey," Justin spoke up suddenly startling me out of my moment of silence. "I thought that you guys were going to do a public memorial for Brian. What happened to that?"
"Management put the ax to that. They are still trying to decide what to do with us," said Kevin.
"Any one seen Howie lately?" asked JC. Man they were really asking the hard questions. I got upset and quietly untangled myself from Kevin and Scrappy and headed to the bedroom. I heard the door close behind me. I turned around to see Kevin standing there.
"Want some company?" he asked. I nodded and held my hand out to him. He came to me and took me into his arms. The next thing I knew he had picked me up and carried me into the bathroom. "I thought you would like a nice long bath with your boyfriend," he said smiling a little. I was a little scared. Kevin and I haven't been intimate in almost a month. He must have seen the fear in my eyes. "Don't worry Babe, I'll be the perfect gentleman," he said kissing me on the shoulder. I let him strip me naked and than he guided me into the tub. The water felt good. I lowered myself into it so that it was up to my neck. He grinned at me like a kid on Christmas. He was so pleased that he was able to make me happy.
"Care to join me?" I asked winking at him. It took him about five seconds to strip too. Soon he joined me in the tub. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. I decided to get feisty and allowed my hands to do some roaming. I found what I was looking for. I wrapped my hand around his cock. H threw back his head and let out a groan. I slowly started to stroke him off. He reached around and took hold of mine and started to stroke me off too. Before long we were shooting streams of cum onto each other's chests. "Did you enjoy?" I asked laying my head on his chest. He nodded yes and kissed to top of my head. We sat there holding each other until the water started getting cold. Than we climbed out and got dressed in our boxers and wife beaters and headed out in the living room. I noticed that the fireplace was on. Lying in front of the fireplace was Nick and Justin. They were cuddled up with each other kissing each other. I smiled at them and led Kevin back into our room. We climbed into our bed. Kevin insisted on holding me so I let him. It felt good to be wrapped in his loving arms again. Just as I was getting sleepy I felt something warm and wet hitting my shoulder. I looked up at him and noticed that he was crying.
"What is wrong?" I asked softly wiping the tears from his face.
"I am still missing Brian," he sniffled. "As the wedding gets closer the harder it gets. He would've love to be part of this."
"I miss him to. But Kevin, he would want us to be happy," I said to him soothingly. Kevin nodded and pulled me closer and buried his face into my shoulder. I could feel him sobbing quietly. Eventually he cried himself to sleep.
Three hours later I was still awake. I untangled myself from Kevin's grasp and headed out into the kitchen. I noticed that Nick and Justin were curled up on the floor sleeping in each other's arms. I covered them up with at comforter. They looked so cute lying there. Justin had this angelic look on his face. Nick hand was resting on Justin's bare chest. He too had a look of peace on his face. I stood there watching them for a few moments. A hand touched my shoulder and I jumped. It was Kevin. He had this sleepy look in his eyes.
"Come to bed?" he begged me. I nodded and followed him back into our room. Scrappy was stretched out across the bed taking up the entire bed. He looked up at us as if to dare us to move him. We did. Of course he wasn't happy about it. He made a show of lying down at the foot of the bed and sighing as he plopped down. We both laughed at him and climbed back into bed. This time I got to hold Kevin and fell right to sleep.
(Dream?)
A blinding light hit me in the eyes. I struggled to open my eyes. They were so heavy. I heard Kevin's voice somewhere only he sounded very far away.
"He is having another seizure Doctor, Isn't there anything we can do for him?" he sobbed out. He sounded so sad and tired. I tried to tell him that I was all right. But I couldn't speak.
"The seizures will increase as it spreads. I am sorry Mr. Richardson. All we can do is keep him comfortable and hope he comes out of the coma than we can have the surgery. But until he comes out of the coma we wait and pray," said what I assumed was the Doctor.
I felt a warm hand wrap around mine. "Jason, it's me, Kevin, please hang on to my voice. We all love you very much. Please come back to us."
"Kevin!!" I shouted. "I'm here, right here! See there is nothing wrong with me. Can't you see me?" I shouted.
(From Kevin's point of View.)
I shot awake at the sound of Jason's shouting. I sat up in bed and looked down at him. He was having another dream. Only this time it was worse. I gently shook him awake. He opened his eyes and looked at me.
"I'm alright Kevin," he said with tears in his eyes. I knew he was still in his dream state.
"Jason!" I said loudly. "It was a dream Sweetie, it's alright, I'm here and nothing is going to hurt you." That shook him back into reality. He fell into my arms. "You want to talk about it?"
"It was so weird. I couldn't see anyone. Just a bright light. You were there begging me to wake up. There was doctor there saying something about having a seizure. Than I woke up," Jason said. "Weird very weird."
"You want to get up? It's almost time any way. We have a house full of guests and we need to decide what to do with breakfast," I suggested. Jason nodded and climbed out of bed and grabbed some clean clothes and he shuffled into the bathroom. I threw on a pair of sweats and headed off into the kitchen to see what we had for food. I found some pancake mix and got some bacon and sausage out. By the time Jason came out of the bathroom all clean I had a good start on breakfast. We traded positions and I headed into the bathroom for my shower. The bathroom was all steamed up and written on the mirror was "I love you Kevin." I grinned at that and climbed into the shower. As the hot water hit my back I let out a groan. Life was starting to look up for us. Today was the day I was going to show him my surprise. I hoped he liked it. I started singing while I showered. I rarely did that. Fifteen minutes later I made my way back to the kitchen.
(From Jason's point of view)
I was flipping pancakes from the griddle onto a platter. I heard a noise behind me and I turned to see who it was. It was kinda hard to tell the difference. It was a combination of Nick and Justin. They were locked into an embrace as they made their way to the kitchen. Nick made a grab for a piece of bacon and I swatted his hand away. Justin was successful and shared his piece with Nick. They walked triumphantly away waving their pieces of bacon in the air. A hand reached out and snatched them out of their hands. Kevin popped both pieces into his mouth. I busted up laughing. The look on their faces was priceless. They went grumbling away.
"You need some help?" he asked me.
"I might need some help with the eggs," I said smiling up at him.
"How do you want them cooked?" he asked getting the eggs out of the refrigerator.
"Scrambled of course," I smiled up at him. Scrappy came around the corner and demanded to be petted. I hollered for AJ and he took him out for some excersise.
In another ten minutes we were all seated at the table. Some of us were sitting at the breakfast bar. I looked around at all of my friends seated with Kevin and I. I noticed that Kevin was unusually quiet. I poked him in the ribs. "All right lover boy spill it!" I demanded. He giggled and took a drink of orange juice. "You are hiding a surprise from me and I want to know what it is." He just winked at me and kept right on eating. So I let the matter drop. I turned to Nick and Justin. "So when are you two getting married?" Every one started coughing and choking on their food.
"Uh we haven't decided yet," mumbled Justin.
"We uh kinda want to take things slow," spoke up Nick. I looked at Kevin and started laughing. "What?" demanded Nick.
"We snuck in on you two last night. You were sleeping together on the floor. So is that what you call taking things slow?" I teased them.
"We didn't do anything yet!" defended Justin. I decided to let them off the hook. I decided to start in on JC.
"So JC how is your love life going?" I asked grinning. Kevin kicked me under the table. "Ouch!" I yelped glaring at Kevin. He just grinned at me. "Well JC we are waiting!"
"Sorry Jason no lover yet he said blushing.
"Ok that is enough of twenty questions," spoke up Kevin rescuing the rest of the Nsync gang from my interrogation.
"Spoilsport," I grumbled at him. He leaned forward and planted a kiss on my lips. "MMMM! Maple syrup!" I exclaimed licking my lips. The rest of the guys laughed at Kevin and I. I got up and started cleaning off the table. Justin got up to help. Kevin snuck up behind me and put blindfold over my eyes. "Hey!" I yelped. "I can't see!!" I complained.
"That is the whole idea Babe!" he snickered at me. He took my hand and led me outside and into the car.
"I want to drive!" I begged.
"Sure you can drive," laughed Kevin. "Only I think I'll drive down and you can drive back.
"Drive back from where?" I asked trying to get him to give it away.
"Uh uh sweetie. That is not going to work," He started the car and headed down the mountain.
"Are we there yet?" I asked.
"No Jason we are not there yet," he sighed. I kept bugging him about every five minutes. He was actually pretty patient with me. I could tell when he answered he was smiling. After about twenty minutes of driving he came to a stop. He got of the car and opened the door for me. He took my hand and helped me out of the car. "Now watch your step," he advised me. He took me up some steps. I could smell wood. I heard the click of a lock and I was led inside. Than it hit me. All of the smells came reeling back to me. Tears came to my eyes and I let out a sob. He gently removed the blindfold from my eyes. I looked around.
I had come home. I had come home to a place I had closed the door on. I was back at my beloved South Fork. "How what when why?" I breathed.
"I bought her for you," he said smiling at me.
For some reason anger built up in me. I sighed and walked into the living room and sat down. He sat down beside me. "Please say something Jason?" he begged.
"Who the hell told you that you could reopen my old wounds?" I asked him glaring at him.
Well that is it for this section. Oh I know it is only two chapters long.
As before let me know what you think.
Will the author of Escape please e-mail me? I've tried to send you at least two e-mails but cannot get in contact with you.