Two distinct, divisions none...14
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This post contains portrayals of homosexual actions and lifestyles. There may be references to, or explicit descriptions of, sex between consenting adults.
If homosexuality, sexually explicit language, or swearing offends you, or if reading material that contains these violates any law applicable to your location, or is contrary to your personal or religious beliefs, you must exit now without proceeding further.
If you’re under 18 years old you may not read it either because it is against the law. I regret this because I was once a randy teenager myself and I feel somewhat two-faced in helping enforce the law. Hopefully, one day, censorship may disappear along with other vestiges of Big Brother and Mother Grundy.
The story is entirely fictional and all the characters portrayed are imaginary. The Staroobryadtsy church does exist, but its name was chosen only because of the anonymity of its remoteness to South Africa. I have no knowledge of this church or its beliefs. I have no doubt that its members are all fine, upstanding, and God-fearing folk.
My thanks to Bill Marx, Deon du Toit, and Drew Hunt (listed alphabetically) who gave of their own time to edit my writing. Their corrections, insights and advice do much to make this story readable, and I am humbly grateful to them. Since, however, I make changes after I receive their suggestions, any mistakes in the tale are mine.
I have provided a glossary at the end of the story to help you with unfamiliar or esoteric words.
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Greek Chorus
by Horatio Nimier
David kept his head close to the ground trying to make his silhouette as small as possible. The essence of the woods flowed into his nostrils: the tang of the decomposing foliage, the gentle scent of damp and rotting wood, the muskiness of the fungi that thrived in the lowest stratum of the forest. The smells combined, almost masking the redolence of the pond mud he had smeared over his face and neck to blacken his skin. Rising up on his toes and hands as in a press-up he moved forward fifteen or twenty centimetres, and then cautiously lowered his body to the ground to rest. He was fully alert, his ears straining to discern any hint of a movement through the shrill symphony of chirrs made by the myriad insects in the darkness. Moment by moment each nerve-end on his skin analyzed the stone or twig it touched lest his passage cause a rustle. He tried to blend in with the blackness knowing that the slightest snap, a sudden or incautious movement, would alarm the tiny creatures that abounded in the night, causing them to fall silent and thus alert his quarry. His eyes swept over the small camp again and again, watching and observing, learning the rhythm of the place and the quirks of the three men around the fire.
Before each advance the way in front of him was examined to see if it concealed a trip wire or a possible booby trap. The men sent to bring him back appeared to be complacent, but to rely on that could dull his own alertness and cause him to make a mistake. His mind was constantly running through the lessons he had been taught at the Outdoor Leadership Programme he’d suffered through in the winter.
----------ooOoo----------
The Youth Day public holiday had fallen on a Wednesday that year, a day when the temperatures began to slide. Now, nine days later, David sat on the platform of the Ladysmith Station with his friends, Akash and Mylo, watching as two Class 18E locomotives, their cooling fans roaring, pulled the train from Johannesburg alongside the long curved platform on the opposite tracks. In the 40 minutes since he had heaved his Bergen onto his back and stepped from the similar train that had carried them on the three hour trip from Maritzburg, he had begun to reconsider the wisdom of following Mylo’s enthusiastic badgering to sign up for the Outdoor Leadership Programme. So far the only part that was true was that he was outdoors. There was no sign of any leadership: no-one from the Programme was at the station, and the sixteen boys who had stumbled off the train with him had merely mulled around trying to keep warm. “If we hang around here much longer the cops are going to think we’re a bunch of friggin’ terrs,” a boy named Liam said, his breath condensing in the bright station lights as he spoke.
_
David nodded. More boys came onto the platform from the newly arrived train. “You okes here for the Outdoor Leadership thing?” one asked.
“Ja,” said Akash. “D’you think we’re mal enough to be standing around like bergies in this bloody cold if we weren’t?” As he spoke there was the sound of big diesel engines and three olive-green Bedford trucks followed by a Land Rover drew up outside. “Nice of them to rock up,” he said as he hauled his pack onto his back.
Two hours later the trucks stopped. The moon was close to full, and through the canvas flaps at the rear of the Bedford David saw what appeared to be a small clearing amongst the bush. The cab doors opened, and with a loud clang the tailgate was dropped. “Out! Out! Out!” The yelling, which would carry on continually for the next three weeks, galvanized the boys to scramble out into the darkness. They stood around in confused groups casting long shadows in the glare of two spotlights mounted on the Landy’s roof. “Form a line! Form a line! Form a line!”
“I wonder why the Pongoes always say everything three times?” Liam asked under his breath as the boys shoved each other to stand in a row.
“Probably all bosbefok and forget that they’ve already said it once,” David said, stifling a yawn.
“So! We have a couple of jokers here, hey!” David opened his eyes to see one of the Programme personnel standing in front of him. “You two lizards drop. Give me twenty.”
Liam lifted his hands to his harness to take his pack off. “Get down! Get down! Get down!” yelled the man, little drops of spittle flying past his trimmed moustache. “Twenty. With your pack on. This isn’t a mothers’ tea party. One…Two…Three…”
The two completed the press-ups and stood, uncertain, resuming their places in line without looking left or right. In the ensuing silence another of the Programme staff swung his frame out from behind the wheel of the Land Rover. Despite his height — his army-style cap added but a couple of centimetres to his one and two-third metres — there was no mistaking the authority he commanded. He walked toward the group, his back ramrod straight, swagger stick in his right hand, and the boys watched with slight trepidation as he stopped and faced them.
The man who had yelled at Liam and David turned to him and said, “Thirty-four boys present, Colonel. All names match with the list.”
“Thank you, Sergeant Ferreira.” The Colonel surveyed the line before him in silence. Eventually he raised his voice and in clipped tones said, “This is the camp site. This is your camp site. It is part of a farm which belongs to a man who very kindly allows the Programme to use it for its training. I expect it at all times to be kept as clean as it is now. Tomorrow morning you will construct a proper trench latrine, meanwhile the river is over there,” he pointed to his left. “Do not foul the water.” Then pointing in the opposite direction, “If you need to piss or take a shit go at least thirty metres in that direction. Do not defecate within two metres of a path. I expect all faecal matter and any soiled paper to be completely buried. Is that clear?”
There was a mumble of agreement.
“When I ask you something I expect a clear and concise answer. Preferably ‘Yes, Colonel!’ Now are you all clear about my instructions?”
“Yes, Colonel!” yelled thirty four pairs of taut, 18-year-old vocal cords.
“Good. The Bedfords, the Land Rover, and the area to their left where I and my staff will set our tents are strictly off limits. Right now you need to go to sleep. Reveille will be at 06:00. Fall-in at 06:30 with all your gear packed. Any personal stuff, including tents, sleeping bags, or anything else left behind will be discarded.”
He turned and walked back to the Land Rover. “Dismiss!” barked the sergeant as the spotlights were turned off.
“Six o’ fucking clock! It’s friggin 3:30 now,” said Liam.
_
“Enjoy it while you can. We’re paying over R1,000 a day for this cruise!” David replied.
----------ooOoo----------
It had taken over an hour of slow crawl for David to approach the clearing. He knew well that taking the war to the enemy’s doorstep was his riskiest tactic. He was keenly aware that, should it fail, he would undergo more beatings — maybe worse — but into the minds of their charges the instructors at the Programme had pounded the dictum that, if action needed to be taken, it was always best to do it at the earliest opportunity, before the foe had had time to get properly organized.
It was not quite 24 hours since he had escaped from the Reclaim Our Youth course run by the Apostolate of Christ Church. Not quite 46 hours since he had been held across the refectory table in front of the other catechumens — the inmates as David had referred to them — while the Reverend Nienaber laid into him. The beating had started with a dowel, but when that had broken the holy man took off his belt and scourged the helpless youth. “Cry!” he had yelled at David over and over, “Cry so I know the devil is leaving you!” But David, although his mouth was open, made no sound, forcing his mind to concentrate on the pain to make it fade into insignificance.
Eventually he had passed out.
He remembered being dragged into what had apparently at one time been an attic store room and dropped on the floor. As they left, one of the pair who had held him down aimed a kick at David’s groin. In spite of the pain of the flogging gripping him, he instinctively drew up his legs, and his thigh took the brunt of the force, but the boot made a glancing contact with the testes and David spewed out vomit as his whole abdomen seared.
----------ooOoo----------
The boys never managed more than six hours of sleep at night; four was the norm. Their bodies were knackered. The days — short in the time of the Southern Hemisphere’s winter solstice — were filled with cross country runs, map-reading exercises, hand-to-hand fighting and first-aid classes. Later, when the last vestiges of twilight had disappeared, they practiced moving around in the dark, first at a walk and later with stealth. They worked in pairs, learning how to camouflage themselves in different surroundings and in various conditions of light and weather. The days were reasonably warm and the runs could be done in T-shirts, but after the sun set the temperature dropped to between 9°C and 10°C and the boys slept with all their gear on. David was glad of his shemagh and between sunset and sunrise it was rarely not wound around his neck or head. ‘D’you think you’re some Arab freedom fighter?’ someone had asked him during the Bedford ride from the station, but when, on the following morning, Akash and four or five other boys were seen wrapped in them and, twenty minutes later, the Colonel was similarly attired as he stood before them at fall-in, the snide remarks turned into the grudging respect of experience.
_
But the real problem was the hunger. On the first morning they had been issued a 24-hour ration pack. For some the contents were gone in a day. For others it lasted two. But during the week there was no other commissary. A couple of the boys had one or two Granola bars or Bar-Ones, but for the most part the hunger grew. On the first Sunday, the second day at The Programme, the two sergeants left the camp and three hours later returned with a bush pig they had shot. The boys were ecstatic, but the carcass was tied to a St. Andrew’s cross affair in the middle of the camp ground and declared off limits. In the warmth of the days that followed the animal proceeded to decay. The stench settled over everything and there was no escape. Flies swarmed about the camp.
At a break on one of their cross-country hikes, David noticed one of the others grubbing around a fallen log. “What’re you doing, Thomas?” he asked.
“Getting my dinner.”
“What’s there?”
“Termites,” he said, popping the little white insects into his mouth.
“You eat them raw?”
“Yes. They’re OK. Try some.”
David squatted next to him and picked gently at the rotting wood. He pinched a termite and gingerly placed it on his tongue. He felt it move and gulped to swallow it. “Is this a Xhosa thing?”
The other boy laughed. “Xhosa, Zulu, Pedi. We are people of the land.”
_
David began picking at the insects, mimicking the other boy in speed as he pushed them into his mouth.
----------ooOoo----------
He awoke in the morning with the sound of the key in the door lock being turned. One of the kitchen workers pushed an enamel plate of porridge and a mug of water in and, rolling his eyes, backed out. The morning passed slowly with David alternating between bouts of coma-like sleep and periods of incredible pain. There were blood stains all around him on the floor. When he peed into the tin can that had been left there he noticed the pink stain in his urine.
At midday he was given another mug of water. He pointed to the can and told the worker he needed to use the toilet. The worker retreated without saying a word, relocking the door behind him. Half an hour later one of the deacons came up and unlocked the door. He tossed the book bag David had brought with him to the church onto the floor. It was a PC bag, but electronics were banned in the Reclaim Our Youth course so all he had brought were some books, a notepad and ballpoint. It had astonished David that most of those books had been confiscated when he had arrived, making him wonder whether, to become straight, one had also to be illiterate. Pointing down the corridor to a toilet, the deacon told David to take his can as well. He had difficulty getting his legs to co-ordinate and staggered a bit, falling against the wall and splashing a little of the urine on the floor, but the man merely pushed him on the shoulder and told him to hurry up. The toilet had no door and the deacon spent a full five minutes watching David do his business and clean himself. As he escorted David back, the man opened a small cupboard and pulled out a sheet which he tossed onto the floor of the room. “Don’t bleed all over the place,” he instructed as he walked back to the door but, just as he was about to close it, he turned to David with a puzzled look. “Why didn’t you cry out? Why did you hold the devil trapped inside you? You could have let him out and the beating would have stopped.”
“I didn’t cry?”
The deacon shook his head. David nodded and when the silence lingered the deacon turned and walked out, closing the door and locking it.
In the afternoon David studied the cell. There was no window, and the only fresh air came in through a ventilation grill high up on the wall and passed out through a gap under the ill-fitting door. The 40 watt lamp that hung from the ceiling provided the only light, the bulb and the round water pipe that ran from side to side above his head the only departures from the rectangular shapes that surrounded him. David sat on the floor and pondered. An hour later he was still thinking and studying every part of his surroundings. He crawled across the wooden floor examining every plank, every joint, but each board was held securely by the old screws and age.
And then he noticed something. Across the floor in irregular patches were dark stains. They looked suspiciously like dried blood. Yet they were not his: he hadn’t sat or lain anywhere where they were. His blood was fresher, and even where it had dried, was not as dark. Somebody else had bled in this room.
Perhaps his treatment had not been unique.
He considered what the import of this discovery was. And there was something else. Next to the skirting board was a small line of black dirt. At first David had thought it was accumulated wax from the floor, but those boards had not seen wax in over a decade. He scraped a little with his finger and held it to his nose, but it seemed odorless. He touched it with the tip of his tongue and then he knew what it was.
----------ooOoo----------
David’s punishment when he had arrived at the camp seemed to presage his first week there. It wasn’t as though he couldn’t handle discipline — he had been a boarding school brat for nine years and had had no issues with the regulations — but The Programme’s rules seemed often to simply make no sense. On the second morning he had got up a bit earlier, put his underwear and socks in the Ziploc, added some baking soda and water, shaken it around to get, he hoped, some of the dirt and smell out, and then rinsed them. Before fall-in he had safety-pinned the laundry to his Bergen straps to dry in the sun as he had done on many a hike. “What the fuck do you think this is?” Sergeant Ferreira shouted at him when he came by. “You think you’re some scrompie back in Durbs?”
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“I don’t think the scrompies wash their clothes,” David retorted, then tried to reason, “Look, we’re not going to be effective if we’re covered in sores because we’re dirty.” Noticing the vein pulsing on the man’s temple he hastily added, “Sergeant.”
“Down. Twenty.”
Twenty, ten and five seemed to enter David’s life every day. Twenty press-ups for some-or-other infraction, ten laps around the camp in full kit, a five kilo stone added to his Bergen for a march for doing something else wrong or too slowly. It wasn’t as though no-one else was getting punished: it was a never ending fact that someone was being yelled at. It just seemed that David got the lion’s share.
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There were three ways of leaving the Programme before graduation. VR was voluntary return. It meant the student had decided for some or other reason that he did not wish to continue. MR meant a medical return, that the boy had a medical reason for not continuing: heatstroke, passing out, bitten by a snake. Of the three, XR was the worst. Expelled. The Programme couldn’t or wouldn’t take your shit another minute.
----------ooOoo----------
The posse that had been hastily assembled to follow David and return him to the fold had all the advantages: the three were relatively fit and had food, water and all the clothing they needed. They had the means to start a fire and, from scanning the small clearing, David noted that they carried a walkie-talkie radio — and that they had a pistol.
In his bag, now two hundred metres behind him, David had only one spare hoody, a second pair of socks, a towel and a sheet — the last two all that had been available for him to steal in the brief opportunity he had had to escape. The flogging he had endured had caused some loss of blood and had brought him to the very edge of shock. Worse, it made his legs hard to control: several times they gave way completely, and at best his gait was staggering, making his spoor easy to follow. With every step, every stumble, the PC bag that served as his pack had banged on his back and caused more blood to ooze out from the barely formed scabs. Each time he came to water he rinsed his T-shirt, wringing it out thoroughly before putting it back on. He knew the risks of bilharzia but he didn’t want the smell of blood to pique the interest of a nearby hyena.
In an hour the moon would rise up above the tree tops casting light that would shift some advantage to the foe. He noted the sleeping bags were motionless where two of the posse were asleep, their feet pointed toward the fire. The other man, the smallest of the three, sat on a log close to the burning embers. Occasionally he took a sip from a cup and, from time to time, lifted his head and glanced into the blackness of the forest; his vision limited by the flames he had been staring at. He never looked toward his two companions.
David edged between the sleeping bags to where their owners’ boots lay. The men had been asleep he estimated about thirty minutes and, with the hiking and the heat of the day taking their toll, were beyond being disturbed. His nostrils drew in the scents of the men’s bodies, and his senses remained taut as he assiduously refrained from any sudden movement or noise. He moved his whole body, resisting the temptation to stretch his arms out to their limits. He noted the two-way radio but he could not afford the weight so he contented himself with unscrewing the antenna and shoving it into one of the boots. He picked up each of the water canteens and jammed the heavier of the two into another boot. Gently he unscrewed the cap of the second flask slightly and laid it down to drain into the ground. Refilling and purifying their water supply would add a further delay to his followers getting back on his trail and, almost as importantly, add to their irritation: angry people tended to think less clearly, to miss signs, to make mistakes.
Gripping the two pairs of boots David began to edge back into the forest.
An hour later he was sufficiently concealed from the camp to stand up and start to walk away, his toes curled up so the edge of each sock-covered foot would touch the ground first, feeling as it did so for any twig that might crack. He retrieved his own sneakers and, ripping a towel in two, used the laces from the purloined boots to bind the pieces over the soles to disguise his spoor. “A good tracker will always be able to follow you,” the Colonel — his instructor at The Programme — had told the group. “The only sure way to stop someone tracking you is to kill them.”
The statement had been delivered matter-of-factly. He gave no adjunct, no lemma to help the young men grapple with the morality of his statement: it was, after all, a class to encourage and develop initiative. Nor did it come across as braggadocio: the ease with which he performed tasks that to his students appeared impossible, and the fact that he and his assistants had spent the entire time alongside them, enduring with them the hunger and every hardship, had proved to the novitiates that he had no need to brag.
Having slaked his thirst from the canteen and tossed the radio antenna into the bush, David returned his pack, heavier with the two pairs of boots, to his back and set out. At right angles to his previous track he crossed the fairly open grassland where his presence would be too easily noticed in the daylight. He walked along the moonlit path as quickly as his injuries allowed, wary only of finding a puff adder soaking up the warmth of the packed earth.
He was, he estimated, probably three kilometres further when the sounds of distant angry shouts carried through the still night. “Skuz ’apo!” he muttered with a smile. The Colonel could be proud of him.
It was probably about 1am, David estimated, when he re-entered the forest and found a suitable boulder to curl up beside, and with the hood of the sweatshirt over his head and neck and the sheet pulled over his body and hands to keep any insects at bay, he fell asleep.
----------ooOoo----------
On the Saturday, a week after the boys had arrived, the Colonel summoned David after the fall-in parade.
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“I think, Lawrence, the time has come when you need to step back, take a look at yourself, and make a decision. Do you really think this training programme is what you want to be doing? You have been here a week and you have run up a tab of nine demerits. The boy with the next highest demerits has five. Do you see some pattern there?”
Suppressing the desire to point out that two of anything never created a pattern, David stood rigidly at attention and replied, “I’ll do better now, Colonel. I will. I’ve got the hang of things.”
The Colonel looked down at his notebook and read out: “Insubordination, insubordination, insubordination, late for fall-in, out of camp without permission, insubordination, fighting, not completing exercise in allotted time, insubordination.” The Colonel raised his eyes and stared at David. “Would you say that based on these that you have a problem with authority and following orders?”
“No, Colonel.”
“No, Lawrence?”
“Permission to speak to the Colonel?”
“Granted.”
“Colonel, it’s not that having rules that’s the problem. It’s just that we get no explanation for why they are there.”
“This isn’t one of your school debate teams, Lawrence,” the Colonel snapped. “I assumed that by coming here you wanted to learn a great deal of what we have to offer in a very short time. We hid nothing from you before you applied: I think our prospectus is pretty clear. We have just three weeks to shape some of you into men who can lead. You boys have no experience, but we have it in spades. By obeying rules and instructions you demonstrate that you acknowledge and respect our experience.”
“Permission to speak to the Colonel?”
“Briefly, Lawrence. This is not a matter for discussion.”
“Colonel, see, that is just the point. When I leave here I am not going to have the Colonel and the lieutenant and the sergeants with me. And if all I’ve got is twenty — or a hundred — rules, they are no help to me unless I run into that very same situation. But if I know why the rules exist and what is behind them, then I learn how to make my own rules for conditions I haven’t had before.”
The Colonel eyed David for a full half minute. “Very well, Lawrence, for the time being you may remain in the class, but if there is one demerit on your sheet in the next seven days it will be XR.
_
“Dismissed!”
----------ooOoo----------
The sky was lightening above the tops of the trees when he awoke. The ground where he lay was still dark and he pulled the sheet tightly around him to preserve what body heat he could as he planned his next moves. As the falcon flies the highway was eighteen or twenty kilometres away, and even in ideal hiking conditions that would take most of a full day. Weakened from the beating and then constantly having to work at avoiding the group following him, David reckoned it would take him two, maybe three times that. His gut clenched at the realization, and for a moment he felt overwhelmed. ‘Would,’ he asked himself, ‘giving up be any worse than how I am now? I have made my point.’ His back was in bad shape — he could see, and smell, the evidence every time he pulled the T-shirt over his head. There was a possibility that infection would set in and that he might die in the bush.
The realization of what he was thinking brought him up short. What was the cardinal rule the Colonel had repeatedly told them? “Any situation is how you view it. Allow yourselves to get depressed and you’ll surely make mistakes, you’ll miss things, and in all likelihood you’ll die.”
The recollection rallied David. He slowly stretched, wincing as his T-shirt pulled at the scabs on the welts. He was, he admitted to himself, better off than he had been at The Reclaim Our Youth place: no more getting electric shocks as he was forced to watch slides of male-on-male sex performed by men whose clothes and hairstyles dated to the days of hippies; no longer would he have to listen to the repeated rogations for the devil to depart from him; no more lectures on how he had erred in choosing to be homosexual — the word ‘gay’ being forbidden as it was viewed a euphemism for the depravity of the sin. The people who had claimed to his father that they could cure David most often spoke of an angry God that despised and loathed him, and yet at other times they told of a loving God who waited only for him to repent to welcome him back into the fold. ‘Thou wilt not with predestination round enmesh me and impute my fall to sin?’ David would reflect during these sermons.
He was now not only free of that church and all its dogma, but he was free of any ambiguity about who or what he was. And within the last twenty four hours he had carried out a raid on his pursuers and hopefully weakened their efforts and their keenness for the chase.
He would not give up.
----------ooOoo----------
On the Saturday evening, the same day as David’s dressing down, three boys were assigned to cut down the rotting bush pig, and the sergeants instructed the class on the art of butchering game. The pieces of meat, crawling with maggots, were boiled over a fire until, after what seemed an eternity, the Colonel cut a piece and announced that dinner was served. The first sensation amongst the boys had been one of gagging as the stench of the hot meat eddied around, but after they saw the sergeants, the lieutenant and the Colonel tear at pieces and put them in their mouths, hunger had triumphed over repugnance and they began to tentatively pick at the meat. Within fifteen minutes the carcass was bare and, amongst themselves, the group declared the dinner had indeed been passable.
_
“Bad meat can be eaten if you cook it thoroughly,” the Lieutenant told them. “But never re-heat it again — you’ll shit yourself to death! Better to go hungry.”
The eight days had seen steady attrition of the class. Of the thirty four boys that had assembled in Ladysmith, three had VRed on the Wednesday — unable to stand the rigors of the course. Four left on the Thursday, and another three — plus one who was experiencing shortness of breath and was MRed — were driven back to the town by the lieutenant on the Friday.
_
David put a big effort into holding himself in check, blindly following every order given, and day followed day without him getting into any more trouble than being yelled at. To David the shouting seemed continuous, and it appeared that he and Sergeant Ferreira had an enormous personality clash.
----------ooOoo----------
As daylight made its way to the forest floor he began to scrounge around for food. He carefully moved rotting branches that he found lying on the ground and collected the grubs and termites that wriggled and scampered in the light. Using a piece of bark as a mortar, he crushed them into a paste which he licked off his fingers. He had no matches, and trying to start a fire by friction would take too long — besides, the resulting smoke would betray his position.
From his pack he pulled the boots he had taken from the camp and examined them. One of the pairs was way too large for him so, removing the laces, he flung each boot in a different direction into the dense undergrowth. The other pair he could, if needed, wear and he returned them to his bag. He spent about ten minutes carefully obscuring any evidence of his stay and, wrapping the pieces of towel over his sneakers, set out to the west.
An hour or so later he had gained seventy or eighty metres altitude and he moved to the edge of the trees to get an idea of his position. In the distance, maybe three kilometres away, there seemed to be some buildings. He was still unsure whether to seek aid from any area of civilization or to travel concealed until he reached the national road. The staff from the Reclaim Our Youth church could have spread a tale around that he was mentally ill or dangerous, and the locals might then call them up to come and get him. As he pondered this he turned his head looking in the direction from which he had come. At first he saw nothing, but then a momentary glint of light caught his eye and he noticed, across the fields he had traversed in the night, a lone figure following the path he had taken. His gut clenched: it had to be one of the pursuers, and David dropped to his haunches and stayed close to the trunk of the tree. His once-white T-shirt was so stained with sweat and muddy water that it was practically camo, and he doubted he had been spotted. But his adversary was moving determinedly, and David estimated that he had three hours, at most four, before he would be overtaken.
----------ooOoo----------
The first half of the second week passed without incident. The boys were worked hard. With full packs they did a twenty kilometer hike. The twenty kilometres were measured on a map and took no account of the rise and fall of the ground so the distance covered was much further. The climbs took their toll on their stamina, and the downhills on their knees.
_
On the other hand, some luxuries had become available: chocolate bars could be bought each evening after dinner from a supply in one of the Bedfords. Moleskin and Elastoplast were other popular items, and many of the boys who did not already have one bought shemaghs.
David’s model behavior lasted until the Wednesday. They had spent the morning at a rock cliff, climbing up and abseiling down. Having spent his entire youth not far from uKhalamba — the Barrier of Spears as the Zulus named the Drakensberg Mountains — David was enjoying this. He had been hiking and done some scrambling and climbing all through high school, so he knew much of what was being taught. In the afternoon the staff had moved them to another krans about a kilometre away which was higher and the climbing harder. It was about 4:30 when this training ended and, with one of the sergeants and the Colonel, most of the group had headed back to the camp. One of the duos, Louis and Dirk, who felt they could do with more practice, had asked permission to go through one more exercise. When this had been granted, four of the boys who had more experience had asked to hang back as well for the chance of an extra climb. David had gone up first belayed by Mylo, now they had switched and he was at the foot, feeding out the belaying rope, watching Mylo carefully as he moved up the rock face, giving him enough slack to climb without dragging while keeping the fall distance to a minimum. He had climbed with Mylo several times before and the two shared a common bond and approach to the hobby.
“Mylo, two metres from anchor,” David heard him call, warning him to be ready to give some slack. “Mylo, clipping!” David fed out a metre or two of rope. “Mylo, climbing.” And David resumed playing out the belay.
“Louis, climbing,” David heard the call from the climber some ten metres to Mylo’s left. In the back of his mind David had been aware that Louis had taken a rest at the anchor — hangdogging as some say — but his attention had been focused on Mylo, wondering if he, too, might need a break. Louis’s call was barely complete when there was a sudden “Ow!” followed almost instantly by a yell, “Take!” Instinctively David began to crouch to absorb the load, but when he recognized that Mylo was still on the face he straightened up and swiveled his head to see Louis Burrell dropping. He turned back to concentrate on Mylo who had stopped his climb at the shout. Almost as he did so came a high cry: “Aaaaghh!” and looking over again David saw Louis gyrating at the end of his rope, his hands tightly clasping his thigh.
“You OK, Louis?” his belayer, Dirk, called up.
There was a pause then a hoarse reply “No…I think…I think I’ve broken my leg.”
“Get him down! Now!” the sergeant snapped at Dirk.
“OK. I’ve got the lead. Lowering,” Dirk called. David took a quick glance over at him to see if everything was OK and something caught his attention. He looked to his side where Mylo’s rope was flaked out on the ground and then back at the other belayer.
“Dirk, stop!” David said urgently but keeping his voice down. “Don’t lower. You haven’t got enough rope.”
There were a few seconds of silence. “How the fuck did that happen?” Sergeant Ferreira asked, striding over. “Where did you get that rope from?” he snapped at Dirk.
“From the Landy, Sergeant.”
David could hear the confidence ebbing from the voice. Keeping his eyes on Mylo he said, “Doesn’t matter now, Sergeant. Is there another rope here?”
The sergeant looked around. “No. I’ll have to get the Colonel to come back with the Land Rover.”
“No time,” said David. “He’s headed for Ladysmith — he can’t get back in under twenty minutes or more.”
“What’s going on, David?” Mylo called down.
“Not enough rope to lower the climber.”
David heard the muffled “Shit!” from above him. There was a pause then Mylo called out to the third climber, “Vhukeya, when you’re off belay at the top, set up a cordelette that’s bomber in case you have to abseil down with Louis.”
“OK, Roydon. ’Bout another ten-twelve I think.”
“Dirk, get your lead up to the anchor and hold him there. Make him use his good leg while he hangs,” Mylo called down and then, “Mylo, climbing. Watch me, David.”
“On belay,” David called, his adrenaline rising.
“Stay on your route, Roydon,” the sergeant shouted. “Do not leave your route!”
Mylo didn’t reply as, with hands and feet searching for grips, he edged across the face toward Louis’s belay.
“Roydon, get back on your route and complete your climb,” Ferreira yelled. “I’m warning you, you’ll be XRed. Vhukeya, when you’re at the top, drop your rope for me to use on the belay here.”
“Sergeant, will you please shut the fuck up. Those ous don’t need any more distraction than they’ve got already.” Without taking his eyes off his climber David spoke with a low voice that wouldn’t carry up to the climbers, but his tone left no doubt of his intensity.
Sergeant Ferreira moved up to David and stood between him and the rock face. “Listen up, Lawrence. I’ll decide how this rescue is to be done. I’m the one in charge here, not you. I’ve learned this the hard way: on active duty in the bush. This is how we survived: the senior man makes the decision, the rest follow his directions. That’s not only how we survived, but why we survived.”
“Then act like you’re in charge of this situation, not some mock-up classroom exercise. There are five of us here really thinking hard, and we’re having to work against you. Have you checked on Louis? Is he conscious?”
Mylo had passed the half-way point of his traverse, David noticed. The late afternoon air was cooling but he could feel the sweat trickling between his shoulder blades. Mylo was way to the side of his route and if he fell now he would pendulum, swinging across and sustaining, at the very least, severe grazing. But Louis was now the big concern: his speech was becoming fainter and less coherent. Most of the time all he said was “I’m hurt really bad.” With the chill coming to the air David knew the guy would soon be getting to the hypothermia stage.
He couldn’t afford to take his eyes off Mylo, though, and he asked, “So, how’s our outjie doing, Sergeant? Can you see with the binoculars?”
“Seems to be bleeding. It’s seeping through his pants. But he’s up at his anchor now. He’s trying to tie himself on, but he’s fumbling.” He raised his voice, “Burrell! Don’t attach yourself. Stay on the belay — Dirk can hold you OK.”
“Tell him to keep pushing at the wall with his good leg if he can,” David said.
“Burrell! Keep your leg that’s not hurt moving. Push against the wall. Move your arms around.”
“Why must he do that?” asked Dirk.
“Harness hang syndrome,” the sergeant explained. “Too much blood stays in the legs and not enough’s left for the body and the brain.”
David noticed that Mylo was almost right up on Louis. “Mylo, clipping!” came the call. David fed some rope out. He could see Mylo pulling a ’biner onto his rope and attaching it to the anchor Louis was on. “Mylo, tension!”
“On belay!” David shouted back, trying to keep a business-as-usual tone in his voice so as not to let his anxiety get up to his lead.
“How is Burrell?” called the Sergeant.
“Conscious but confused.”
David heard the third climber call down to Rayne, his belayer, “Ntokoto, off belay.” He had reached the top.
“OK, now drop your rope, Vhukeya,” the sergeant shouted up, then lowering his voice added, “we’ll tie it onto the end of your rope, Dirk, and lower Louis down.”
David was about to voice his opposition but before he could get a word out he heard Vhukeya call down, “Mylo, do you still want me to set up an abseil on the center route?”
“Drop the fucking rope,” yelled the Sergeant. “Christ, you guys would never have lasted an hour in the Scouts. Can’t any of you do one, fucking, simple thing right?”
“For shitsake stop with this talk,” David exploded.
“Mylo,” called Vhukeya, “you have the lead. What do you need from me?”
“Set up the abseil just in case I need you here.”
“You boys are way over your heads in the shit,” the sergeant snapped. “There’s a boy dying up there on the wall you want to try to be heroes.”
“Is someone coming up here with a Bedford or the Landy?” David asked, ignoring the remark.
“Both of them are coming.” He stopped talking and then added, “When the Colonel sees the mess you’ve got yourselves into you can bet it’s going to be XRs all round.”
No-one said anything. David watched Mylo working fast to get some camalots into cracks to form another anchor for himself. Eventually he heard, “David, can you give me about twelve metres slack?”
David looked down at the rope at his feet. “Ja. There’ll be a knot passing the first anchor.”
“OK. Give me slack.” David fed the rope out, quickly adding prusiks to the rope and his harness while he got the knot past his ATC — the small device that enabled him to put a brake on the belay and hold more than his body weight if needed. Up above him he observed Milo hauling the rope in. He prayed that his lead’s anchor held: there was a lot of slack in his belay as it hung in a catenary across the face. He saw Mylo rapidly grab a bight in the rope, form a knot, and attach it to Louis’s belay loop, then take a second bight and push it through what David guessed was an ATC and attach it to his own belay loop.
“David, take in all the slack.”
David pulled in a couple of metres. “Mylo, slack is gone. I’ve got tension.”
David saw Mylo take a ’biner and attach Louis to the anchor. “Dirk, give me some slack!”
“What the fuck is he doing?” the sergeant exploded as Dirk let out his belay. David watched as Mylo pulled some of the other climber’s belay up and secured it to the camalot anchor he had just made. He unscrewed the biner that held it to Louis’s harness and removed the belay. “He’s going to let Burrell fall.”
“Louis, off belay,” came Mylo’s voice.
“Off belay,” called Dirk.
“Don’t put any tension on your rope, Dirk,” David cautioned, not taking his eyes off the pair above him.
“David, tension. Watch Louis.”
“On belay!” David called. He saw Mylo unclip Louis from the anchor and begin to feed the excess belay rope, now supporting Louis, through his ATC. Louis began to arc downwards and across the face. David felt the load on his rope increasing as the rescued climber came more into the vertical line with the route.
_
Eventually Louis hung directly above him and he heard Mylo call out, “Mylo, off belay. David you take the lead and get him down quickly.”
----------ooOoo----------
With added resolve David returned to the path, yet a mere hour later when he stumbled while crossing a brook that crossed the trail, he had to admit that his pace was continually slowing. His injuries were taking their toll: he desperately needed rest — a secure place where he could sleep for more than an hour or two.
He peeled his shirt off and rinsed it in the chilly water. The cold was welcome as he donned it once more. He briefly let his eyes follow the line of the water as it flowed ten metres or so before plunging over the rocky cliff-ledge to the valley below, then he began to rummage around the stones, coming up with more grubs which he crushed in the palm of a hand before scarfing them down. He scanned his surroundings. On the other side of the brook several large rocks had, eons ago, been tumbled together to form a small cave. He could crawl in amongst them and be totally hidden from anyone on the trail — or anyone at all unless they actually crept in after him. He moved toward it, waving his hand in front of his face to chase away some insects, no doubt attracted by his sweat-soaked hair.
And then he noticed it. God, his exhaustion was taking its toll. It was the first thing he should have observed when he came to the stream. A few metres away hung the irregular spherical shape of a bee hive with the little insects busily moving in and out. He sipped the water while he battled to focus his brain. “Don’t look at things the way you want them to be. See things the way they are!” It wasn’t the cave and its promised shelter that was important, it was the hive. He looked around. It seemed that it would not be easy to get it off the tree. If he had something to lever it then perhaps he could do it. His eyes scanned the forest undergrowth but it was only when he looked higher that he spied a dead branch that was not too decayed. Pulling it down, he tested its strength. It would probably do.
It took him an hour to complete his task and, after taking the hoody and sheet out, he repacked his bag and stuffed it just a little way into the entry to the cave, but not far enough so that it would be hidden from the trail. Pulling on the pair of purloined boots and holding his sneakers in one hand and a smooth round rock in the other as a potential weapon, he walked up the brook, careful not to splash the banks. About sixty metres upstream he carefully left the water, pulled the hood over his head, carefully tunneled into a patch of denser undergrowth and, lying flat on his stomach, set down to wait. Close at hand he laid the round rock — his only weapon of defense.
His pursuer was not concerned with stealth, and David was aware of his approach a full ten minutes before the man reached the stream. With his chin pressed to the ground David could not see the adversary and had to rely on his ears to discern what he was doing. The man stopped at the bank. David suspected that he had noticed that there were no spoor on the other side of the water and was considering the implications. Now was the gamble: what would his follower do? Walking in a river was a well-known way of obscuring a trail and the man might start to work his way along the water course studying the bank on each side for a sign of exit. That would be bad.
His other option would be to see if he was being misled: he could spend some time where he was and search for a refuge in the vicinity where his quarry could be holed up. It took all David’s self-control to keep his head down and trust his ears. The seconds passed and then David heard the sound of his long shot paying off: the click of a buckle. The waist belt of a pack had been undone. The man had taken the bait. He had probably seen David’s bag at the rocks and was going to investigate the cave.
Of all the scenarios that had traversed David’s mind of how this moment might play out, none had prepared him for what happened next. At about one second intervals six shots blasted out, the sound echoing around the trees like thunder. Instinctively David raised his head. The man had taken his pistol and was shooting into the cave. David shuddered and buried his chin back into the earth. A bullet fired into a cave ricochets off the rocks, taking an unpredictable course as it zigs and zags while expending its energy. Worse, splinters of sharp stone fly around unguided and with deadly speed. If either the bullet or the rock fragments meet up with human or animal they tear through skin and flesh, their irregular shapes wreaking terrible damage.
David had not foreseen this. He had totally underestimated his enemy. If he had had laces in his sneakers he might have ignored the dangers and tried to bolt right then, but the stratagem he had taken had left little room for retreat. The next move his pursuer made would be checkmate for one of them.
David heard nothing for a while, and he envisioned his hunter reloading the pistol for a close-range coup de grace in the cave. His ears caught a slight rustle of undergrowth. He imagined the man moving toward the rocks, and then the sound David had waited for, a muffled yell as the man stumbled. There was a slight crack as the string he had tripped over pulled a small stick out of the notch in another that held the trap in place. Immediately came the rustling of the dead branch swinging then a dull thud as its momentum knocked the hive to the ground.
Silence followed for a second or two as the hunter tried to determine what had happened, and then a panicked yell as a thousand angry bees began to emerge from their damaged home. “No! No!” David heard him shout in dread as the bees swarmed in search of a quarry. Three rapid shots followed, probably, David surmised, fired in fear and without logic into the hive in a desperate retaliation that could only serve to excite the bees further. There was a crashing in the undergrowth as the man tried to move away from the insects which were swarming between him and the path. The sound of a heavy grunt followed when the man apparently stumbled, and then the sounds of frantic slapping of skin against skin and the screamed, “Ahhh! Ahhh! Ahhh!” as twenty or more stingers lanced into him in waves.
David kept his head down as he listened to the man thrashing around amongst the ferns and scrub looking for the way out of the clearing, but the path in was narrow and not easily seen. The movements seemed erratic and the man was gasping for breath, each followed by a groaning sound as he exhaled. The flailing stopped, giving way to splashing, and David speculated that his hunter was seeking refuge in the stream. There was a grunt followed by a choking, thin, wail-like sound that faded away. And silence. Silence except for the frantic buzzing of bees.
David still did not move. His body would not survive many stings, and he forced himself to wait for the insects to settle. The total lack of any sound of human movement gave him some sense of comfort, but at some time his pursuer would regain consciousness and then who knew what might transpire?
He tried to remain alert, but lying flat in the snug confines of the branches and greenery without any sound of movement lulled him and, after a few jerks into wakefulness, David fell asleep.
----------ooOoo----------
The sound of the Land Rover’s engine faded into the twilight as the Colonel and the lieutenant took Louis, sedated and with his leg splinted, back to the hospital in Ladysmith. The boys began to clear up the site, coiling ropes, clipping carabiners onto their loops. The tension of the accident and the rescue had left them drained, and none of them spoke as they packed the gear into the back of the Bedford.
_
Dirk moved as though the weight of the world rested on his shoulders. He had apologized to each of the group several times, as well as to Louis while he was being treated. When he turned from handing up several coils of rope to Rayne, Mylo punched him gently on the chest. “It’s OK, boet. It was bad today, but you’ve learned a bunch: there are a whole lot of mistakes you’ll never ever make again. It’s happened to all of us. Louis didn’t break his leg because of you: he made the mistake that caused his fall — he tied onto his anchor by clipping a ’biner into two loops of a daisy chain. Seems he forgot to twist it, so when he fell the stitching gave way and that meant there was nothing at all holding onto the ’biner.”
He shrugged. “At least nobody died.”
“So that’s your take from all this, Roydon,” Sergeant Ferreira snapped. “Nobody died so everything is OK? Let me tell you, Banks fucked up royally by not checking his rope length. But you were a very close second in screwing up. I told you, you should have tied on to your anchor and we should’ve taken the second rope from your belay and joined it to Burrell’s and brought him down. Then we could’ve re-attached it to your belay for you to finish your climb.
“But you boys have all done your little weekend hikes from your posh schools, and think you know it all. You want to be heroes and run off and do your own little show.” He jabbed Mylo’s chest with his fingers. “We could have been scraping your skin off the rocks if you’d fallen.
“You boys have got to be more disciplined. Follow orders. If our guys out in the bush had carried on like you boys did they’d all have been dead within days. The trouble is you boys are too soft. You’ve never had to fight for anything.”
Mylo merely shrugged, turned and walked away, but David wasn’t going to take it. “Ja, right. Works great on the whiteboard, but has a bloody good chance of going tits-up in practice. First off, Sergeant, there’s no way a belayer is going to let you make his rope too short to rescue his lead. What would have happened if you’d taken our rope and tied it on to Louis’s? Say the knot had then got jammed in an anchor. Louis is so far out of it he can’t jug, and he can’t climb the rope to release it. Now we’ve got two climbers stranded. So how does your theory work that one out?
“And, yes, Banks fucked up a bit, but not so much as the rest of us. The four of us, me, Mylo, Ntokoto and Vale have climbed in the Berg a whole lot; we were all around and not one of us checked on Louis and Dirk. They’re both sharp on gym wall-climbs, but this week is the first time they’ve done any serious climbing outdoors. So it was our mistake and we fixed it.
“And, just so’s you know, a person doesn’t have to be in some long-forgotten bush war to have discipline.”
He turned away, picked up two bags of carabiners and other climbing gear and heaved them into the back of the Bedford. “Spare me from fucking Whenwes,” he said under his breath.
The sergeant spun around and landed a punch in David’s gut that lifted him and sent him sprawling under the rear of the truck. “XR, Lawrence!”
_
David rolled onto his hands and knees, his forehead pressed against the earth as he gasped for the breath that wouldn’t come. Mylo and Ntokoto came over and helped him to his feet. “Take it easy, mate,” said Mylo. David turned and spat out the vomit that had caught in his throat. The others helped him into the back of the Bedford and clambered in after him.
----------ooOoo----------
It was, he estimated from the position of the sun, about two hours later when he awoke. There was still no sound other than the normal rustling and bird calls of the forest. Gingerly he lifted his head and gently pulled apart some branches allowing a view of the clearing. Of his pursuer the only sign of his presence was a backpack lying near the water’s edge. Several bees still flew around but most of the activity was on the hive, and from this David surmised that whoever had been after him was no longer in the vicinity. He needed to retrieve his bag from the rock cave but he was hesitant, recalling that bees can hold a grudge for a long time. On the other hand the shots could well have attracted some attention and he wanted to be away from the clearing if any other human were to arrive. Carefully and slowly he backed out of the thicket. Pulling the still wet boots onto his feet he tucked the bottoms of his jeans into them. The sheet he wound around his head, shoving the remainder down into the neck, folding the top so just the barest slit was open at the eyes. A wry smile cracked on his lips as he recalled pictures of T. E. Lawrence in his Arab garb in the desert. Cutting a wide arc, he carefully approached the cave from the back — the side furthest from the hive. When he came to the entry he looked for his follower, but there was not a sign. He sat back on his haunches to try to figure out where the man could be. The banks of the stream were wet from splashing but clear of any footprints. As his eyes followed the flowing water, he noticed the dislodged rocks and small clumps of mud on the ledge. Gradually his brain accepted the notion that his pursuer had fallen over.
Gently and with a smooth motion he pulled his bag toward him. He would have given a lot to get to the other man’s pack: undoubtedly there was food inside, but it lay directly in front of the fallen hive and the buzzing bees were too close. But what he could not abandon were his sneakers' laces which he had used, along with those of the boots, to form the trip cord to pull the branch onto the hive and dislodge it. One end of the laces, which had been looped around the tip of the branch, was free on the ground, but the other end was still firmly tied to a tree stump. Once more David had to swing around the back of the cave, down the trail several metres, and work his way slowly and carefully up to the tree to where he could untie the knot.
Pulling his sneakers back onto his feet, David tossed the wet boots into the deep brush, grabbed several handfuls of the brown pods from a couple of umThiba trees to eat, and set out on the trail as the late afternoon sun began to cast lengthening shadows into the forest. About 500 metres further on, the escarpment bent outwards and he cautiously approached the rim. Looking back to where the brook fell he could see his pursuer lying motionless in an unnatural heap as the waterfall splashed over him.
David shook his head. “Why did you not just leave me alone?” he asked in a whisper. He stood for several minutes looking at the body. There was no movement. He was surprised that he felt nothing: neither sorrow, nor joy, not even relief. Just a sense of numbness. He thought he needed to do something to mark the man’s passing, yet in his mind he kept hearing the sound of the six rounds shot blindly and without warning into the cave. Barely audibly he began to recite the twenty-third Psalm, but he choked when he came to ‘Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death’. He felt the words pertained too closely to himself, and not to the man lying in the spray of water. He stopped. He half raised his right hand in something between farewell and plea and mumbled ‘Enter not into judgement with thy servant, O Lord’.
With a final look at the waterfall, he turned and walked on.
----------ooOoo----------
After a fifteen minute ride over a rough track, the Bedford came to a stop at the top of the cliff and the boys clambered down to retrieve the gear that Ntokoto had used to anchor his abseil. David’s gut still ached and, unable to bend over, he leant against the opposite side of the truck, his eyes looking out over the grasslands.
_
“You OK?” Sergeant Ferreira asked him.
“Fine, Sergeant. Never felt better.” David didn’t move his eyes off the distant vlakte.
“You know you’ve been asking for that since the night you arrived, don’t you?”
David nodded. He kicked the ground with his sneaker then turned and hoisted himself into the back of the Bedford with the other boys.
The truck rocked and bumped over the rough road — little more than a cattle track — on the way back to the camp, and the boys sat in silence holding on to whatever support they could get. When they were about five minutes out, David spoke. “Ous, this is how it is. The sergeant never hit me. If you feel you can’t lie, or don’t want to, just say you were looking the other way and didn’t see anything.”
“You can’t do that,” Ntokoto burst out. “He’s supposed to be in charge. He’s supposed to be in control of himself. He should get fired. He’s bigger than you…and older.”
David shook his head. “I stepped over the line. I don’t want anyone to lose their job. I shouldn’t have laced into him like I did.”
The truck turned into the camp and came to a stop. As the boys moved to the back Mylo put his hand on David’s shoulder. “Noble gesture, boet, but you need to realize that if he didn’t hit you, you’re going down with an XR.”
_
“I know,” David said, looking at his friend. “It bites majorly.”
----------ooOoo----------
As the forest became lighter in the morning and the birds began their chirping and whistling, David opened his eyes, amazed that he had spent the entire night under the trees without waking. That was both bad and good. Bad because he had obviously been in a deep sleep and could easily have been surprised by anyone looking for him; good because he felt mentally refreshed and could concentrate on the journey ahead of him. He found a fallen trunk and dug around in it for insects and grubs, chasing them down with some water and mouthfuls of the fruit of the jujube tree.
It was time for him to leave the shelter of the forest and strike out across the open veld, the fields of thigh-high green grass and isolated trees. He was bound to be seen by the locals, but he felt they no longer posed much of a threat. The end of apartheid had not meant a big change in life for many of these folk and they still eked out an existence from the land. Technically he was in a tribal area and should have the permission of the chief to be there, but since he was carrying no weapon he was unlikely to get anything worse than a slight dressing down if he were caught.
He walked for almost two hours without making any contact. The first person he came across was a boy of about six or seven, but as David drew near and the child could see him more closely, he ran away to a nearby house and, within a minute, an old man came out of the door and peered at David.
“Sawubona,” David called out the greeting.
“Sawubona,” came a hesitating reply.
“Ukhuluma isiNgisi?” David asked. The man looked at him and shook his head. He didn’t speak English.
“Uxolo,” David said hesitatingly as his Zulu was fragmentary, “Ngilambile.” He pantomimed putting food into his mouth with his hand.
“Uphumaphi?” the man asked as the child peeked from behind him. Where a stranger came from was always a prime piece of information.
“Umgungundlovu,” said David, referring to his home town of Pietermaritzburg by its Zulu name. He didn’t want to mention the church. His ties with that were cut.
The man said something to the boy who scurried inside. David stood in silence as the old man studied him. “Igama lami ngu David,” he said eventually, introducing himself to ease the discomfort he felt at appearing so dirty and disheveled. The man made no acknowledgment. A person of his age had probably seen enough empirical data to feel that white people might not always be what they claimed. He pointed to the side of the house where a galvanized iron bucket stood underneath a lever pump. David walked over and lifted the handle and pushed it down. A thin stream of brownish water came out and he cupped his hand and put his mouth down to drink.
“Cha!” the old man called out, and David looked at him. The man folded his hands together and David realized he was meant to wash his hands. He pumped again and rinsed his hands in the water noting with some surprise how much soil had accumulated on them. Shaking off the drips, he wiped his hands on his jeans, once more feeling ashamed that he was so dirty.
The boy reappeared at the door holding an enamel plate with a pile of mieliemeel on it. David took it from his hands. “Ngiyabonga,” David thanked him and then sat on the ground and practically shoveled the corn porridge into his mouth with his fingers. He had never eaten so welcome a meal in his life. Within a minute the plate was cleared and the boy returned with a cup made from a tin can and handed it to David. As he took the can from the boy’s hands his nostrils caught the whiff of the fermented beer. “Siyabonga kakhulu,” he said in true gratitude as he gulped the contents down. He’d had it a few times before: a little thick and not very alcoholic the brew was quite nutritious, although the taste was one that David had never really liked on the previous occasions.
David set the cup on the plate and returned them to the boy. “Umusa kakhulu,” he said in appreciation of the kindness.
The man pointed at the plate, and David thought he was enquiring if he wanted more. He could eat the same again easily, even three times more were it offered, but he looked around at the sparse crops in the fields near the house and felt it would be too big a gift to ask for — more so since he had nothing to give in exchange. He shook his head and scrambled to his feet. “Ngifanele ngihambe,” he said, explaining that he must be on his way.
The old man gave a nod then raised his hand a little. “Hamba kahle!” Go safely.
David walked over to him. Covering his right elbow with his left hand in respect, he offered his hand to the old man. “Salani kahle!” David said as they shook hands briefly. Stay in peace.
----------ooOoo----------
It was dark by the time the Colonel and the lieutenant returned, and the boys were clustered around the fire having cooked and eaten their dinner. David noticed the two sergeants walking over to the Colonel’s tent, and once they had gone inside he felt pretty confident his fate was being decided. With the adrenaline rush of the afternoon’s accident and rescue gone, he felt certain that in the morning he would be off the camp and on his way home. That bit. He was just getting the hang of things in the wilderness and was rather enjoying the challenges thrown at him. He had learned a great deal in the two weeks: he could light a fire without using matches or a ferro rod; he could navigate by the stars or the sun; trapping small game or fishing could provide him with food and, if he couldn’t get those, he knew enough to live off grubs and insects. If he was given a map he could look around for salient landmarks and figure out his position; and, possibly more important, he could create a sketch map of the terrain around him and he could follow a route on it.
_
Of course, he reflected, unless he was out backpacking in the wilderness, these skills were not going to help him get through his everyday problems.
“Lawrence! Colonel’s tent!” called one of the sergeants, as the two of them walked toward the fire.
“Good luck! Good luck, mate! Vasbyt, boet!” the words spoken softly by the other boys eddied around as he stood up, wiped his hands down his pants, smoothed his shemagh down around his neck like a scarf and tucked it into his jacket, then began to trot across to the olive tent lit by a hurricane lamp.
“Colonel? Lawrence here,” he said as he stopped outside the flap.
“Enter.” The Colonel sat on a camp chair in front of a desk formed by an overturned supply crate. Behind him the lieutenant stood casually but with no look of warmth on his face. “How are you feeling?” the Colonel asked brusquely.
“Fine, Colonel,” David said, standing at attention, his eyes looking a few centimetres above the man’s head.
There was a silence for maybe five or six seconds and David could hear the sergeants outside telling the boys to clean up their mess gear and get ready for the night’s exercises.
“Lift your shirt.” David pulled his T-shirt out of the waistband of his pants and hefted it up, dragging the sweatshirt and army jacket up with it. The Colonel reached over and pushed two fingers onto the area where Sergeant Ferreira’s blow had landed. “That hurt?”
The prodding caused a feeling of quite some tenderness but David replied, “No Colonel.”
“Really? A few hours after getting punched in the gut by Sergeant Ferreira and there’s no soreness? I find that hard to believe!”
“The sergeant didn’t hit me, Colonel.”
“Don’t waste my time, Lawrence. I know he punched you and why. I may not condone the punishment but you have been testing everyone’s patience here for two weeks and it’s plain you haven’t got what it takes to complete the course.”
“I was not hit, Colonel.”
“You bloody little fool: an MR from an injury will be a better story than an XR when you tell your parents that you’ve wasted over R25,000 of their money tomorrow.”
“Permission to speak to the Colonel?”
“Yes.”
“Colonel my parents have paid nothing for this course. I don’t know about the other boys, but Mylo…er…Roydon and I have paid our own way. We worked on the fishing charters all summer so we could come here. My parents didn’t want me to sign up for this: I have matric and A-Levels coming up at the end of the year, and they think I should be at home studying.”
The Colonel sat staring at David, flipping his ballpoint over and over between his fingers and tapping each end on his desk.
The lieutenant cleared his throat. “What work did you do on the charters?” he asked.
“Everything, lieutenant. Started at 4 am: refuel the boat I’m assigned to, check the batteries, check all the running lights, add the deodorizing fluid to the holding tank for the toilet and make sure the toilet is clean and has paper, check the lifejackets are all there and in place, same with fire extinguishers and all the other safety equipment, load the drinks and the ice, check the booking slip for what catering is required and load that. Once we are out at sea we rig the fishing lines for the Valies who don’t know how, and bait their hooks. If they catch anything, we help to get it on board and on ice. When we get back, some of the customers will pay us extra to clean, fillet and pack their fish. Then I’d take the boat over to the service area, get the toilet holding tank pumped out, wash down the boat, get rid of the rubbish, tidy up and it’s 9pm.”
Again there was silence in the tent except for the faint hiss from the hurricane lamp.
“You are trouble, Lawrence, with a capital T,” the Colonel sighed. He shuffled through some papers in a manila folder, pulled out a sheet and studied it. “You have a demerit for fighting during the first week. What was that about?”
“Elocution lesson, Colonel,” he said, his eyes fixed above the man’s head. “One of the boys couldn’t pronounce the word g-a-y. He pronounced it ‘fairy’. He can say ‘gay’ properly now, Colonel.”
The Colonel stared at him. He pursed his lips and then asked, “Is there anything going on between you and Roydon?”
_
David dropped his eyes to meet the Colonel’s. A bit of a personal question, but he supposed that, considering the Colonel’s position, it was a reasonable one. “Does the Colonel want to know if I’m planning to make a move on Roydon’s girlfriend?” He shook his head. “Irene’s very nice, very pretty, but I’m not going to steal her. And they’re both my friends so I won’t try to steal Mylo.”
----------ooOoo----------
Now that he was out of the trees David began to notice the heat of the morning sun, and after some thirty minutes of walking he took the sheet and fashioned a rough keffiyeh out of it. The path he had been following led to a narrow dirt road and he was able to move at a faster pace. About every half hour or so he would pass a kraal — a few huts, maybe a small house or two — and at a couple he was able to fill up his water canteen. Around midday a woman gave him a thick slice of bread which he took, eagerly washing it down with the brackish water from the pump.
As he was rejoining the road he saw a small donkey cart about half a kilometre away, and he stood at the side of the road watching its approach. As it came up to him he held out his right hand with the thumb raised. The driver stopped and said something in Zulu that David could not understand. He assumed he was being asked where he wanted to go, so he pointed down the road, and in response the driver pointed to the back of the cart where some twelve or fifteen hessian bags of corn lay between the roughly hewn tree branches which formed the cart’s sides. David took off his bag and clambered in, nestling around between the sacks until he was relatively comfortable. “Ngiyabonga!” he called out his thanks, but the driver merely smacked the donkey and the cart started off again.
The lack of conversation did not bother David. Lying back amongst the sacks, the scent of the hessian that reminded him of the big ropes at the docks where he had worked, the slightly irregular swaying of the cart, the sound of the donkey’s hooves mingling with the sigh of the tyres on the sand, David felt secure. For the first time in his life he knew himself: knew he could, and would, survive. He no longer would have to hide his gayness, would no longer have to think he was less of a male; there was now no doubt about his fortitude or independence.
He heard the motor before he saw the plane. Turning toward the sound he saw, about two or three kilometres away, the Cessna flying low above the fields. Hurriedly he wiggled tighter between the sacks, pulling one over his legs and feet then a second over his upper body, folding his arms over his face to provide some breathing room. He heard the plane fly over, then circle and make one, two passes, the last one being so low he thought it was going to land, and the cart began to bounce and sway as the donkey shied. The throttle was opened and the noise gradually disappeared in the direction from which David had come.
“Sihlama!” cursed the driver at the retreating Skyhawk as he regained control over the donkey. He turned and looked at David who was moving the hessian sacks off his body. Pointing at the distant plane the driver repeated “Sihlama!” and their journey resumed.
David sat up and pondered what all this — the posse, the shooting into the cave, the aircraft — meant. It was becoming all ‘39-Steps-ish’, and for what? A runaway schoolboy? It was way overkill. What were they so afraid that he might do? The flogging he had taken had been pretty brutal, but that it had happened would have to come out eventually anyway. Other boys had witnessed the punishment. His parents would be home in two weeks, would come and get him, and he could tell them. It might have been a bit embarrassing for the Reclaim Our Youth people, but when the Reverend gave their side of the story, he doubted whether his father would raise a ruckus. And if he went to the police? Hadn’t his father signed him over to the church putting them in loco parentis?
Bad as it might have looked for them, it would be nothing like explaining a dead boy!
David was no closer to fathoming the problem out when the cart turned off onto a narrower road leading to what appeared to be a bigger farm. The driver stopped the donkey and spoke more words that David couldn’t grasp.
“Angizwa,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.
“I go there,” the driver said haltingly pointing to the farm. David looked at the buildings. They seemed to be reasonably modern and there were poles carrying wires to one of them. Perhaps they had a phone.
David pointed to himself and then to the farm. “I go there with you.”
The driver turned and whacked the donkey, which started off again.
At the farm, David slid off the cart and, thanking the driver in his broken Zulu, went in search of someone who might let him have access to a phone. After being sent in one direction then another by the various workers he encountered, he turned into a doorway and came face to face with a tall black man. “Sawubona,” David said, and after his greeting was returned he asked, “Ukhuluma isiNgisi na? IsiZulu sami sibi.”
“Yes, I speak English,” the man replied and David noticed a twitch at the corners of his mouth. He probably wants to add ‘And, yes, your Zulu is bad,’ he thought to himself.
“I’m from St. Anselm’s College,” David said. “I’ve been on a hiking exercise and got lost. I was wondering if you had a phone where I could call Maritzburg for a ride? I don’t have any money on me, but when my friend gets here I can pay you for the call.”
The man looked David over. ‘He knows I’m lying,’ thought David, ‘but the truth is just way too bizarre to tell him.’
“Come this way,” the man said, and led him across a yard to another house. They walked down a passage to a room that contained filing cabinets, a desk and papers. The man picked up a phone. “What number do you need to call?”
“0331, 92, 840,…” David recited the numbers he knew by heart.
The man punched in the numbers. “And your name is?”
“David Lawrence. And the person I want to speak to is the son: his name is Akash.”
“Hello, may I speak to Akash, please?” the man spoke into the handset. As he waited he held his gaze on David. “Hello. Akash?” A brief pause. “A man called David Lawrence is here and wants to talk to you. Is that OK?” Another brief pause, and he handed the phone to David.
“Hey, Akash? Look…” The handset erupted into questions, questions whose answers David didn’t want aired in public.
“Hi. No I’m fine. I need…
“No, I’m not in Europe. I’m here, somewhere south-west of the college, I reckon. Look, Bru, I’ve been hiking in the tribal lands and got so, so lost. Can you come and get me, please?”
He listened to the reply, cutting it off when the questions started again. “Thanks, Bru, I so owe you.”
The one question that came back David could not answer. “Um, I don’t really know. Hang on, I’ll give the phone back to the owner here, and he can tell you how to get here. But, Bru…I’m really dirty. I mean bad. Bring an old sheet or something to cover your seats.
“’K. Thanks a bunch. See you.” David handed the phone back to the man. “Could you tell my friend how to get here, please? I have no idea exactly where I am.”
Once the directions had been given and the man set the phone down, David said, “Thank you, sir. As soon as he gets here I’ll pay you for the call.”
“The crops aren’t that good this year, but I don’t think one phone call will break us,” the man replied. “And also, I’m not the owner, just the farm manager.”
“Well, you’re very kind. Thank you, sir. If it’s all right I’ll just go wait at the front gate?”
“You can wait on the stoep if you want to. It’ll be shadier and it’s going to take your friend a good two hours to get here.”
“If that’s not too much trouble, it does sound better.”
----------ooOoo----------
At the morning fall-in on the Thursday, the Colonel had laid out the format for the final half of the course. “I want you to form into two teams, twelve boys in one, eleven in the other. This way you can start to put the training you have taken over the past two weeks into practice with exercises against real people.”
_
As the boys began to form into groups, teaming up with friends from school or people they had come to like, David pulled Akash aside. “Wait a minute. Let’s wait to see how the teams are forming before we decide.” Together they surveyed who went where and, after a minute, David said, “Okay. Let’s go with those ous,” and they walked over to the group where Mylo and Ntokoto stood.
When the two teams had formed the Colonel walked over and looked each group over. “Not too bad. Maybe having Lawrence and Roydon on the same team is not a good idea though. Lawrence and Tajar, change with Tatham and Benson.
“So much for your wait-and-see plan,” Akash said to David as they trudged to the other group.
“OK!” said the Colonel. “Now. Each group is to elect a leader. Within the group the leader will have absolute say as to what his group does. He will make all the decisions as he deems fit. He will decide how the group works together, and he will have disciplinary authority within his group.”
With Sergeant Mitchell observing them, the eleven boys in the group where David had ended up began to kibitz: a couple of them spoke out about why they would make a good leader, others proposed boys whom they considered would be suitable. Things weren’t getting far, and after some four minutes David began to get impatient. “OK,” he said, “Let’s go about this the other way. Who does not want to be a leader? Ous, this isn’t a big deal — just because you don’t want to be the lead dog doesn’t mean you’re not going to pull your load. Show of hands — who does not want to be considered?”
Once the hands had been raised, Liam said, “OK. So it’s between the four of us: Me, Tajar, Kotze and Lawrence. How’re we going about it? Simple majority?”
“Wag ’n bietjie. Wait.” Andre Kotze said. “Does everybody here know that Lawrence is a …is gay?”
“Ja. I’m gay,” David said at last when no-one spoke. “So what? Get a life, Kotze.”
“So maybe not everybody thinks a gay ou can make a good leader,” the other boy replied.
“Where d’you go to school?” Akash Tajar spoke. “Never heard of Alexander the Great?”
“Not a problem for me,” said Liam.
“Not for me, either,” said Jaco. “I’m not so verkramp.”
None of the others said anything. After a while, with all eyes on him, Kotze shrugged and turned away.
“OK,” said Liam. He drew a square in the sand with a stick and divided it into four quadrants. In each he carved a letter: C, T, K, L. “Everybody, pick up a stone. You’ve seen us work out over the last week. Remember, whoever you choose is going to rule your life for the next week, so decide.” He picked up a pebble and put it in the C quadrant.
By the time it came for David to toss his marker it was obvious: wherever he chose to put it he would be the leader. He added his to the L square.
“I guess it’s Lawrence who we want, then,” Liam said, trying hard to hide his disappointment. “David, it’s your game.”
“OK, outjies,” David said. “We can do this. But we do it as a team. Andre?”
“Whatever. I know who I am; you know who you are. We’re oil and water, OK?”
“An emulsion. I can work with that.
“OK, brahs, there are two rules: The time for debate is over. From now on what I say goes. I’ll ask for your opinion, but when I say we do something, we do it. The second rule is we are a team — there is no this is mine, that is yours. We do everything together; we share what we’ve got so we can get through. OK?”
There was no sign of a dissident uprising.
_
“OK. Team: let’s go!”
----------ooOoo----------
It was two and a half hours later when Akash’s Kia Sorento came up the road trailing a cloud of dust. David got up when he saw it and walked around to the office to thank the farm manager. “My friend’s here now. Thanks a helluva lot for helping me. And thanks for the food, too. It saved my life.” He grinned.
“It was no problem. I’m glad to have been able to help.” He shook David’s hand. As David walked back out into the yard the man called out after him. “And good luck with your Zulu. It takes a lot of practice!”
David turned with a wry smile and waved. “Sala kahle.”
“Hamba kahle.”
“Holy fuck, Bru,” Akash said, leaping out of the car as he saw David approach. “What happened to you?”
“Hi, Akash,” David said, “Hi, Raveena,” he added as Akash’s girlfriend came around from the left.
“Hello, David. Ewww! You stink worse than when you come from a rugby match,” the girl said.
“I love you, too, Raveena,” David replied, hurriedly taking his hoody out of his pack and pulling it on to cover his T-shirt. “Let’s get going. I’ll tell you all about it on the way home. Did you bring something for me to sit on?”
A little later as Akash steered down the dirt road he asked, “You OK back there, David?”
“Yes. Couldn’t be better. But, boet, I tell you, I’m knackered.”
“What’s been going on? I thought you were on some skiing trip with your parents in Europe somewhere.”
“That was the plan.” David looked out the window as the fields went by.
“So? Why aren’t you there?”
“It’s a long story.”
“It’s a long drive back to Maritzburg, David,” Raveena said, smiling, “and I’ve heard all the episodes of the Akash Life Serial, so hearing yours would be something of a change.”
“You wanna hitch home?” Akash asked her lightly.
“Let’s hear it, David. Lots of grimy details.”
David grimaced at her. “Big storm, little teacup. My parents got a hint that their only son is gay. Went generally apeshit. Tears, threats, bribes — the whole gamut. Eventually they decided that all that was really required to fix the problem was someone who would help the kid get a new perspective and Christian outlook and then, magically, he’d be lusting after the girls in the choir.”
“You came out?” Akash asked.
“In a discrete way.” He laughed. “My dad is pretty slow, but even he isn’t so obtuse that he could misconstrue what his boy giving Mike Jones a blowjob meant.
“Sorry, Raveena.”
“And they wouldn’t take you to Europe just because you’re gay?” Akash said when the giggles had died down.
“It was a mutually agreed settlement. I mean, can you imagine being on the slopes with them when they know I’m gay? I’d be on such a tight leash I’d strangle.
“So the deal was I’d go to the church-place and let them try and lecture me into being straight. If I went there for their course, my dad would pay for university. If I didn’t go, I was out on my own.”
“And you agreed to that shit? They can’t change gays into straights and straights into gays: it’s how you’re born, how your brain sets.”
“I know.” David sighed, looked out the window, and then turned toward the driver again. “Face it, Akash, there is no way he’s ever going to accept me as gay. Since he got into that born-again church his mind has gone totally ffdoff.”
“So you went to this church lecture and…. ?”
----------ooOoo----------
When the leader selection had been completed, David had walked across to the other group to find out who he would be up against. His gut clenched when Mylo broke away and walked up to meet him. “Just shows how fucked up these ous are to pick us to lead them,” he laughed as he took David’s hand.
_
“I know. Fuckin’ amazing.” He pulled Mylo towards him. “Good luck, ou maat. But whatever happens we’ll still be friends at the end. It’s just another game.”
“Ja, of course.” He smiled, smacked David’s shoulder and turned back toward his group. “Fifteen-Twelve!” he called over his shoulder.
“Se gat!” David called back without pausing his step. Hilton, Mylo’s school, had beaten St. Anselm’s in their most recent rugby match and it smarted to have it rubbed in. ‘Like shit are you going to win this time,’ David thought.
The first day of working as a team was different compared to how things had been done previously. No longer were the sergeants continuously shouting at the boys: it was left up to the leaders to get their charges to perform. But one sergeant accompanied each team and kept tally of any test or task that was not completed, not done correctly, or not done within the allotted time, and every night in the camp the teams’ scores were announced.
Thursday’s exercise was a 30 kilometre endurance march — a combination of navigation and endurance, and it had to be completed in less than ten hours. Each boy’s pack was weighed and if it was less than 16Kg, stones, painted neon yellow so they could not be swapped for lighter ones, were added to bring the load up.
Hiking in a group was not too bad: the boys could zone out into their own private world and simply follow the leader. David’s plan was to rotate each boy into the lead so that they got a chance to practice at choosing an appropriate route to their next landmark, learning that a longer route with a gentler gradient might be faster — and easier — than the shorter direct route.
From the start Andre Kotze had been acting up. He lagged at the end of the group, took no part in the map reading or bearing taking, and generally kept to himself. When David called a fifteen minute break at around 1pm he was close to losing his temper.
“Don’t let him get to you,” Jaco said to David quietly as they leaned back against their packs sipping water, “I think he’s trying to egg you into a showdown.”
This view was prophetic: an hour later when David called Kotze up to take the lead, he replied that he was not good at map reading and did not want to take the responsibility.
“Team, stop!” David yelled. “Group up here. Keep your packs on.”
When the ten boys had come together David looked them over. “I don’t think you ous got what I said this morning. We are a team. We are one. I told you we would share everything, and I mean everything. If we win we all share the glory, and if we lose we’re all going to share the shame. I don’t like shame, and you had better not like it either.
“Just to make sure you don’t, anytime we lose we are each going to show how much we hate it by doing twenty press-ups or ten laps around the camp, both in full gear. Got it?”
There was a murmur of assent.
“I didn’t hear you.”
“Yes, Lawrence.”
“Better. Now Kotze tells me he is too inexperienced to take the lead, yet he doesn’t want to take the opportunity of learning and getting better. That is not how it’s going to be for this team. So that you really understand this, everyone down, give me twenty. Now!” And keeping an eye to make sure the others followed, David dropped and started calling out the count as he did the press-ups along with the rest of the team.
Once everyone was standing again, he called Andre over. “Kotze, take this map, get the current landmark we’re aiming for from Quigg, and fucking lead the group on whatever you decide the best route will be. If you screw up someone will tell you, and that’s how you learn.”
“Being a leader isn’t as easy as you fancied, is it Lawrence?” Sergeant Ferreira said to him with a smirk on his face some time later when David had dropped back to the rear of the group to discourage straggling.
_
“If I wanted easy I wouldn’t have signed up for this Programme, would I?” David replied, and lengthening his stride moved up amongst the others.
----------ooOoo----------
“It’s this place east of Estcourt a ways — out in the gramadoelas. They run these three-week long courses, and they do all sorts of shit to mess with your mind. There are lectures on how mankind was designed to reproduce itself, how animals aren’t gay, they show you naked girls in porn movies, and they do crap like make you watch gay porn while you’re holding a crouch so your whole body hurts. Or they give you electric shocks while they flash pictures of naked men on the screen. And there are endless, frikkin’ endless, prayer meetings when they read the Bible and people pray for you.
“Before you get there, there are all rules for what you can bring. No T-shirts with writing or pictures, no muscle shirts or tank tops, no tight jeans, no skants, just plain white underpants, on and on and on. Of course no electronics, no PCs, no iPods or iPhones. They check all the books you bring in. They don’t want anything ‘arty’.”
“You’re shitting us, right?”
“Nope. They had lessons on how we should walk, and what we should do with our hands.”
“How many of you were there?”
“Eight. Nine when we started, but one ou kept passing out whenever he got stressed, which was like twice a day, and they sent him home.”
“What happened to you?”
“Pretty much nothing.” David laughed and leaning forward slapped Akash’s shoulder. “Shit, compared to those days with the Leadership Programme this was a walk in the park. I just zoned them out. I mean, on one hand you’ve got five or six deacons and a reverend — that’s what everyone called him, I have no idea whether he was a real preacher or what, but he was the main manne what counts there. Anyway, I have these people shouting at me that I’m worthless, and God hates me, and I’m going to burn in hell, and during all this they don’t swear at me once, they don’t really get in my face. And I’m remembering standing naked out in the camp on a winter night, with a twenty-kilo pack on my back, and two sergeants in front of me yelling and cursing, their faces so close to mine that I could just about put my tongue out and lick their tonsils. Compared to that the church people were just comedic.”
Akash laughed. “You were always in some kind of shit or other. So what has all this to do with you going all wilderness-wandering?”
David swallowed and looked out the window for a while before answering.
Raveena turned around in her seat and touched David’s arm. “It’s OK, David.”
The genuine tenderness in her voice did more than any of the hardships had to affect David, and he felt a lump rise in his throat. “Thanks,” he said after a while, and they drove in silence for the next six or seven kilometres.
“Most of the time we were all together, the catechumens —those were us fags — and the church people. There were six deacons and a few young adolescent ous, and each of them was responsible for one of us. They never left our sides. They sat next to us at meals, and at lectures, and at prayers. They were to stop us sliding back. They talked about sport with us to make us manly. They kicked a soccer ball around with us to make us sporty. Being captain of the 2nd XV didn’t get me a free pass — they thought I played rugby so I could hold other boys in the scrum. I tried to explain what the fly-half does, but they had this fixed idea.”
“Maybe you need to get Pienaar to go tell them how gay he is,” said Akash.
“They twist everything around. They’d make up something stupid, say Ruan plays to stop a gay ou getting on the team, or whatever. I tell you their brains are totally deurmekaar. It is im-friggin-possible to debate or discuss anything with them. They simply open their Bibles and go off into some Lala Land.
“Anyway, my shep was this outjie, Sarel. He…”
“Your what? Your Shep?” asked Raveena.
“The ous that weren’t yet deacons are called shepherds. They keep us safe in the kraal.”
“Hmmm,” she said. “Seems a little moffie-like to me. ‘Hi, I’m David and this cutie is my Shep.’”
“Ja,” David said, nodding. “That’s exactly how the trouble started. Sarel is not entirely sure how his hormones are settling. He oh-so-badly wants them to point North-South and he tries real hard, but some of them really want to lie in an East-West direction, and sometimes they get almost too much for him to ignore.
“So at night in our dorm, he in one bed, me in another on the other side of the room, we would talk. He’d start off vomiting out the party line and then gradually there’d be a question: how did I feel at boarding school in the showers, what did I do with other boys, and so on. By the beginning of the second week I was teaching him how to kiss.”
“Whoo-hoo,” laughed Akash.
“Ja. It was the start of a long, slippery road for Sarel. Things went on. Comes to day thirteen, and he decides he’s been a virgin long enough. And being the charitable person I am, I obliged.
“I had only forgotten to teach him one thing: how to climax quietly. The Reverend’s radar ears picked up on this and he walked in when we were just past being in flagrante delicto, but the evidence was all over us.”
“OK. I see the problem,” Akash said seriously. “You don’t understand the difference between rugby, which is a spectator sport, and sex, which is — or should be — a private one.”
“No shit!” David said. “Anyway, Sarel was jumping around the room trying to put his PJs back on and all the time wailing that it wasn’t him, that I had a devil inside of me that made him do it, that he had tried to make the sign of the cross but the devil had made me hold his arms so tightly he couldn’t, and on and frikkin’ on.”
----------ooOoo----------
“OK. Now you have some basic skills,” the Colonel said at assembly on Sunday. “Now you get a chance to play.” The boys were sent over to the supply Bedford, and the sergeants issued AEG Rifles, goggles, chargers and other Airsoft gear. From then on, every march and every exercise was done with the boys wearing their eye protection and carrying their weapon; the last hour of daylight each day was devoted to shooting practice; and each night the guns were dismantled and cleaned for inspection the following morning.
----------ooOoo----------
“So they threw you out?” Raveena asked.
“Oh no. If you’re a Christian you don’t not wrestle with the devil when you get the chance. They got the whole school up, made them all gather in the courtyard and pray out loud for me while two deacons held me and the Reverend beat the shit out of my back with a stick at first, then that broke, and he used his belt. They would have known when the devil left me because I would have cried out, but I didn’t. Not even when he used the buckle end of his belt.”
“Oh, David! I am so sorry for you,” the girl said, and David noticed the tears welling on her lower eyelids.
“Were you bleeding?” asked Akash.
“Uh-huh. Quite a lot.”