Two Way Conversation by DCG
########## DISCLAIMER ##########
I do in no way want insinuate anything about anyone, full. Do not read if offended by Homosexual material, i.e. Man on Man nasty stuff!! lol...Although if you are underage, then you are excused from my wrath and you may leave unscathed...Everyone else...Enjoy!!
Authors Notes: Hey there... The final instalment has arrived...Please feed my craving for feedback and I hope you all have a great day...And if anyone has been to Belize in their life, please let me know what to expect as I am going there to get stung by bugs and eaten by spiders bigger than my face!! lol
ALSO: I have no clue as whether or not there is a hotel called the `Sheraton' in NYC, and if so, what star level it has been allocated. But for the benefit of this story, it does exist, and it is a five star establishment...
AND: Certain little bits of poetry that appear in this piece are not of my doing and are excerpts from a song called `Again' by Archive, and from several songs by Zero 7. They were inspirational pieces when writing this story, and the chosen segments stuck out of the mix when I was writing... Therefore, I want to point out that the lyrics presented here are the property of the bands and their record labels, and I do not want to insinuate otherwise.
Enjoy and get back to me...even if it had nothing whatsoever to do with the story...I luv to chat and meet new people...
(email...grimstone@btinternet.com or ujemeflip@hotmail.com)
And here we go...
Last Time in Two Way Conversation...
"Oh SHIT!" Shouted Chris
"What?" Asked Lance.
"Bobbie, she's bolted, and she knows where we're going." Relayed a worried Chris.
"Doesn't matter, we'll deal with when we get there...Just get yourself to the airport." Stated Lance. Moments later JC walked down the stairs with all he needed in his hands. "We ready to go then?" Asked a confident Lance. JC and Joey both nodded.
On the plane, Justin had placed a set of earphones on and played the music of a local radio station as loud as he could muster. This was the start of a long weekend to remember, but not for the reasons Justin thinks, or a silent JC for that matter, sat in the back seat of Lance's SUV.
And now the continuation...
Two Way Conversation by DCG
Chapter 5 - `Where anything comes to an end, something will always start in it's place'
`If I, was to walk away, From you my love, Could I laugh again, again, again, again...'
The flight had been a long and arduous process for Justin. The moment the wheels had left the tarmac, the music no longer appealed to him as it reverberated through the earphones he was wearing. So he sat, looking out of the window, doing the one thing he was flying away from doing. Thinking about Josh. It was a natural instinct for him, and probably always would have been irrespective of the outcome of their relationship. So beg the question what he was doing, going to New York, alone, to try and escape the one thing he knew deep down he would never escape. Not because he couldn't, but because he didn't want to. And that was the problem. He never wanted to loose the feelings he had for Josh, but at the same time, he couldn't live with the intense feeling of emptiness they left him with every moment he and Josh weren't together. And seeing him everyday just made it worse, because he saw what he wanted, but could never have. It was like a child and a closed candy store. The kid wanted that bar of candy on the third shelf, the big juicy bar, but he couldn't, because the store was closed. But in this instance, Justin couldn't just wait until Monday morning when it opened again. This store front, Justin had come to the conclusion, would never open again.
Having spent the last five or so hours thinking, Justin was relieved to see the landmarks of New York and the plane start to descend. Moments later the captain announced their approach. After several little jerks and dips, the plane landed safely and everyone disembarked. JFK Airport had a reputation of being a busy bustling hub of activity in the New York area, and today was no exception.
Today was Friday, and the 31st of January, and more importantly, the birthday of a certain Justin Randall Timberlake. But he had forgotten as he watched the clouds pass by on his way, the moon rise and dip, he hadn't put two and two together and made the proverbial four and realised it was his coming of age so to speak. He just wore his patented disguise and exited the airport with the minimum of fuss.
A taxi ride later and he had arrived at the Sheraton Hotel, and his home away from home for a while. Room 125 on the tenth floor. He walked slowly into the hotel, checked in and went to his room. He let out a large sigh as he closed the door. Now it felt more real and tangible than it had ever felt up until now from the moment he grabbed his tickets and ran out of the door back in LA. He walked to the balcony and opened the door.
The view was an amazing one (if you don't mind it being of a cityscape), and one that would make someone feel insignificant in the scheme of things. Justin leant against the railings and looked around, taking in the sights. He inhaled deeply, savouring the intoxicating smell of the city. He could get used to life in the big apple, and as he thought about it, the more it became a realistic idea. Life in LA and Orlando had become boring, monotonous, fake and more importantly, littered with reminders. New York would be, shall we say, a welcome diversion. He could blend in with the surroundings and not be noticed, plus it would be the perfect place to finish off the album.
With that thought in mind, he walked back into the lounge area of the suite and picked up his mobile. It was a thought he was going to act on. With that 12 month break' approaching after the conclusion to the tour, and while Lance was off in space, Justin had every reason to be away from the others. He had no ties, it was the perfect reason, or shall we say excuse. Because that's all it was. He wouldn't have thought of it if he hadn't been in the situation he was in. But he was' in that situation, and that was that!
He spent the next hour or so on the phone talking to numerous estate agent, his own personal agents, and finance people about finding the perfect home away from home in this city. He wanted to get it wrapped up as soon as possible.
"Can I see it later on today?" Asked an eager Justin.
The time was agreed, 1pm, just a few hours away. Justin put his phone and left the room. He was hungry, and more eager that ever. Now he had something else to fix his mind on.
`You're killing me again Am I still in your head, You still light me up Now I just feel down...'
Back in the familiar surroundings of the airport, an equally familiar group of young people emerged from the airport. They breathed a sigh of relief as the automatic doors closed behind them, and they were finally there, in New York. Their trip hadn't been the best of journeys. JC had done the one thing no-one expected, and decided he wanted to return to LA. He hadn't counted on his believed separation from Justin having such an overwhelming effect on him. That connection he built with Justin was one of the many things he loved about him.
Three of the other four had similar flights. Joey, Chris and Britney sat in abject silence and listened to JC. They didn't want to rock the boat, or let the cat out of the bag about why they were all `really' going to New York. They were all equally surprised when JC changed his mind and made a complete three sixty by wanting to go back. But it was all too late as they were airborne and new York beckoned.
Lance was the exception. Just before they entered the melee that was the airport several hours earlier, his cell-phone buzzed...
"Hello..."
"Lance, it's Johnny...Some news for you." Said Johnny in a matter of fact way.
"News? About the tour?" Asked a slightly confused, and somewhat disinterested Lance.
"They signed the contracts an hour ago, in Moscow!" Said an suddenly exuberant Johnny. He had the news Lance had been waiting for, for some weeks and months, and the key to Lance achieving his dream, of outer space.
"You're shitting me!" Shouted Lance, stopping in his tracks in the entrance to departure lounge. This as expected stopped everyone in their tracks. As they turned around they saw a childlike Lance dancing his way around the departure lounge with not a care in the world... They all just stood and glared, gob smacked. Joey hadn't seen Lance thins hyped since he found out he might be able to actually go into space...His lifelong dream. Then it clicked, that this must have been some news on the signing. It had to be!
"They signed it?" Asked an excited Joey. Lance just nodded wildly and with the widest smile on his face...
"Fuck, Yes!" Shouted Joey as he high fived Lance in the middle of the lounge. For the first time in the past ten hours, a smile had appeared across the faces of everyone in the party. This included JC, but it didn't last long. He removed his small smile almost as quickly as he had let it appear, and disappeared off into a distant corner of the lounge. This did not go un-noticed by Britney as she followed, but the others saw nothing and continued their celebrations.
And now, several hours later, and in the New York sun, Lance still had a perma-smile on his face, and it looked as though it would never come off. He made sure to curb his enthusiasm mid-flight due to the circumstances, but inside, he was he happiest man on earth.
But now they were here, and somewhere in this vast city was Justin, and the object of their attention. All apart from JC. He breathed in deep lungs full of air and let it out slowly. The claustrophobic air of the aircraft had stifled his mood, but now he was free, and as far away from LA as you could get in the continental USA. It wasn't what he now wanted, deep inside, but he had to live with it for now. For now he would go with the flow. Moments later they all clambered into a cab and made their way towards `downtown'
As the taxi pulled away, across the entrance lobby, leant against a wall, was Bobbie. A smirk spread across her face as she saw them disappear into the distance. She had observed them as they made their clumsy way out, bags in hand, and a dejected JC tagging along behind. Lance's behaviour startled her a little, but there was nothing new there. This was going to be a lot easier than she could have ever hoped. Turning JC away from Justin would be like taking candy from a willing baby. He had no idea Justin was here, and she was going to make sure it stayed that way. All she needed to do was to get him alone...
After mentally psyching herself up, not that it took much anyway, she bent down and retrieved her hand luggage. She didn't have the need for excessive luggage as she wasn't going to be here that long, and for that matter neither was JC, she hoped.
She walked out into the sunshine and hailed a cab. Moments later she was on her way to the nearest, and most expensive hotel in New York. For her it couldn't be anything else. She knew she could be shallow like that, but it didn't matter, and on that thought she laughed and looked out of the window.
"This is gonna be so easy!" She mused, again letting the thought of sweet success drive through her veins.
"Where to lady?" Asked the taxi driver.
"The Sheraton, and make it quick, I have something important to do." She answered, the last half of the reply almost exclusively said to herself, but the taxi driver couldn't help but catch it.
For the next while, the taxi weaved it's merry way through the traffic of NYC on it's way to the centrally located Sheraton Hotel, a well known large hotel, used by the bigwigs of the American commercial engine as well as the higher end of the entertainment ladder, including NSync.
Eventually, the taxi pulled up at the hotel. The driver and Bobbie exchanged cursory glances as money exchanged hands. Even though they didn't know each other, the driver had already grown a natural dislike for her. He had tried, on numerous occasions to start a conversation, but he had been rebuffed on every occasion until it culminated in Bobbie...
"Look, I would have thought I had made it perfectly clear that I am in no mood to talk to the likes of you. Now do your job or you don't get tipped, ok!" She barked. That was ten minutes before the taxi pulled up at the entrance, and a lifetime for the driver.
After exchanging money, Bobbie turned and started to make her way towards the entrance to the hotel. She was a few paces away when another taxi rounded her and pulled up around twenty yards in-front of her. As she looked on, the object of her fascination emerged, looking as dejected as ever. Moments later the taxi had departed and stood on the edge of the entrance was four members of NSync and Britney Spears. Bobbie shied away for a second not wanting to get caught as she saw JC bid farewell to the others and set off on his own, away from the hotel. The others looked after him for second before collectively deciding on entering. This was the chance she was looking for, JC alone.
The object of her affection had made it out of the grounds of the hotel, and walked quickly down the sidewalk, without disguise, and occasionally getting a sideways glance from curious passers by. His head was in the proverbial clouds, and had no idea of the attention he was getting as he crossed the road, heading towards central park, and some seclusion. He passed through one of the numerous entrances to the park and lifted his head from the floor. New York always seemed a brighter place to be from Central Park. It still looked majestic even on a rainy December morning. And it started to do it's bit to JC too. He allowed a brief smile to creep across his face as he nodded to a jogger to his left and smiled at a young girl as she ran along with her mother to his right. He felt at home in these surroundings as he walked his merry way down the path that wandered throughout the park. Minutes later he noticed a free bench and decided to sit and ponder. He needed this alone time to think, and now he had the perfect opportunity, so he sat down, and thought, alone.
Within the hotel, Britney sat in the entrance lobby on a comfy couch, waiting for Chris, Lance and Joey to book appropriate rooms... She had been wracking her brain to come up with the perfect way to get them together. Now that Justin and JC were in the same city, she and the guys needed to get them in the same room, alone, and willing to talk to each other.
"In the same room..." Said Britney
"It's getting them there!" Pointed out Joey as he stood, behind the sofa. IT startled Britney a bit and she turned half around
"I take it you've booked us in!"
"Yeah, rooms 112 through 116, eleventh floor. But that doesn't change the fact that we still need to get them in the same room." Stated Joey. It would be an unenviable task, for anyone to undertake.
"Yeah, lets get our stuff upstairs first." Said Britney as Lance appeared at the entrance to the room, and beckoned them onwards. Chris remained at the desk, collecting keys.
"I would have thought you would have all come together Mr Fitzpatrick." Said the desk manager. This confused Chris to say the least as he looked at him with a bemused look.
"How do you mean?" Asked Chris, eager to hear the reasoning behind his comment.
"When you come to stay here for concerts, you all tend to book in at the same time, as a group." Answered the manager. His innocent remarks about Justin's early arrival had Chris' complete attention, having no clue of the meaning of the words he said. "With Mr Timberlake booking in early, I thought he was coming alone, but now I can see otherwise." Finished the manager. Chris paused for a moment. Did he just say that Justin had checked in? `Stay cool Chrissy Boy!' he told himself...
"Can you tell me what room he's booked in?" Asked Chris, knowing full well that having Justin in the same hotel would give them a fighting chance, on his birthday, to give him the ultimate present...
"I booked him in alongside yourselves, I would have thought you would have liked your usual rooms. He is in room one eleven, next to Mr Chasez' room." Answered the manager. The smile could not be removed from Chris' face as he walked calmly to the group, knowing full well that he could talk to them about it as JC had gone off alone.
A short while later, Chris had joined the rest of the group on the eleventh floor, awaiting keys. He duly handed the out, a smile on his face the entire time, and this did not go un-noticed by Joey as he eventually came to hand Joey the 116 key.
"And what's put that smile on your face?" Asked a wary Joey.
"I wondered how long it'd take you lot to ask me!" Said Chris as he walked past Lance pointed at room 111. "Guess who's staying in this room?" He asked, cryptically. They all looked confused, and slightly un-amused for second until Lance perked up, he'd got it.
"He's staying in his old room?" Asked Lance, knowing Chris knew what he was talking about.
"The very same one!" Answered Chris. Their little game of cryptic stuff wasn't amusing the others.
"This is not getting us anywhere...Come on Chris, spit it out!" Said Joey, both him and Britney waiting patiently.
"Our little Justin is staying in this very room...Right next to us." Said Chris...
"Then what the hell are we standing here for, he could come out any minute!" Said Britney as she hoarded then into her room... "It's not going to help things if he comes walking out of his room, and finds out we've followed him here..." Chastised Britney, in one of her rare motherly moments. "We need to think of a way to get them together, but without them running into each other in the meantime."
"We can't guarantee there's gonna be any type of conversation if we do get them locked in the same room." Pointed out Chris, ever being the realist.
"Are they so blind that they can't see something so obvious as their feelings for each other?" Asked Lance. He could see it, so could the others, but why couldn't the people involved in the heart of the matter?
"Sometimes when you're so deep in those type of feelings, you don't see the obvious...I think they've convinced themselves so much that it's not gonna happen that they never think of the possibility of it actually happening!" Said Joey. The room froze.
"Where the hell did you get that piece from Joe? A book?" Laughed Chris, mock punching Joey on the shoulder.
"Hey boyo, don't knock what you don't know!" Laughed Joey as he held up his hand in defence. "I'm deep!"
"Yeah, about as deep as a puddle!" Said Britney as they all forgot the situation they were in an revelled in their laughter for the first time in a while. For the moment, JC and Justin were from their mind, although not entirely...
`I lie awake... I'm watching the city in my hotel dressing gown And now I dreaming of you There's only room for one in this lonely hotel suite The journeys long and I feel so bad, I'm thinking back to the last day we had...'
Just a few meters away, in an almost silent hotel suite, Justin had returned to his room. He stood on the balcony, looking outwards, into the daylight sky. He felt somewhat alone, more alone that ever, on his birthday. He had never thought that he could have felt this alone in a city so full of diverse souls. He cursed his luck as he listened to another raft of laughter in the adjoining suite. They seemed to be having fun, more fun than he was having, but not as much fun as he could be having if he had his wish!
"Shut up!" He said to himself as he, yet again, mentally chastised himself for allowing the thought of being with JC go through his mind. Instead, he usually wrote his feelings down, in a small blue journal that he took everywhere with him. It was almost full, just a few short lines left on the back of the last page...So he sat down, picked out the accompanying pen and started write...
Dear JC...
This is the last page of the first book. There's probably going to be more where this came from. I don't have a plug to put in that'll stop the feelings I have, or a blind that will shield the emotions I carry with me. I don't know when this is going to end, but if and when you read this, know that I didn't run away from you because I hate you or anything like that. Know that I ran away because I can't stand to be reminded every time that I look at you, that I am helplessly and completely in love with you, and I always have been. I could never bring myself to tell you to your face, that's how cowardly I am. I could never loose your friendship or I'd die. Just know that I love you Joshua Scott Chasez...
Love Justin...
And thus ended the first book that Justin had started many years previously, as a 17 year old naive young band member on the road to stardom. He stood up and decided to go and get some sleep. His flight had been a long and interrupted one, and he felt tired, so he walked out of the lounge area of the double suite, and into his bedroom, closing the door behind him, with the little blue book sat closed on the glass central table. And the room was silent again.
`I can not quite completely guarantee a clear sky... I think that I love you, I know that I do... So go on, mister, make me speak... I love you, I love you...I love, I do... I only make jokes to distract myself from the truth...'
Out in the warm spring day of Central Park. JC had been sat silently, and alone for some time. He only had one question in his mind, that he kept repeating and asking, hoping the answer would be different than the one he had settled for... `Why don't you tell him?' A simple question, but one with huge ramifications to JC if the only response he got back was a thump in the stomach, or a turned back... He questioned himself again
"Because I value his friendship!" he answered out aloud. He did it again...
"Because I'm scared of what might happen." he answered again. He tried it one more time...
"Because he would hate me, and I could never deal with it!" He answered finally, and honestly. he bowed his head in defeat. Now he thought of a different question... It just popped into his head suddenly and he couldn't help but to give it a go... `What do you want to tell him?'
"That I love him!" Said JC, a smile of contentment at his honesty registering on his face... As he looked forward, a body sat down beside him, out of his field of vision...
"But he doesn't love you!" Said Bobbie. JC froze, knowing the voice instantly, and hating it even more. He paused before turning to greet her. She was the last person he expected to see, and the absolute last one he wanted to. Plus she had heard his every word.
"What do you want?" Snapped JC. Bobbie knew of his love for Justin, and he knew it would be the stick she would use to beat him with, and the leverage she would try and use to get them back together. "Cause it's not happening, ever!" He exclaimed, making sure she was perfectly aware, as she should have been forever, of his unwavering defiance of their relationship. "We are never getting back together!" He finished.
"I didn't come here to argue with you Josh." She replied, using her patented way of getting under people's skin, by tilting the head and flicking her eyes at people. But JC had seen this once too often, and it never worked on him anyway. It only worked on the ones she would get into bed, and JC was as far from that possibility as anyone could be.
"Don't call me that!" He said to her, stated more like. Josh was not a name she could use to refer to him by. It was not her name to use. Bobbie flinched slightly. This was not going well at all. JC always let her call him Josh, even if he turned away from her everytime she did. But now he even took that away from her, and it angered her beyond belief.
"Oh, that's right, no-one can call you Josh can they!" She Snapped. She didn't mean to, but his continuing allegiance to his feelings for Justin had pushed her over the top. "Only one person can call you that!" She finished
"That's right." Responded JC, low in volume, almost inaudibly, but Bobbie caught it.
"Then what are you doing here? Don't you want to be around Justin and his new Girlfriend?" Asked Bobbie, telling a complete lie, but it didn't phase her, and JC didn't see through it at all...
"New girlfriend? When?" Asked JC
"That's why I came here to talk to you. He decided to get together with a dancer called Jenna. You know, the one that goes on tour with you. I didn't want you going back not knowing." She Said. Hoping he would take the bait. Silence prevailed for a few moments as JC's body hunched forward slightly, as he shied his face away from her.
JC had heard what she said, and it hit him like the proverbial bullet to the chest. He knew, like all the others, that Jenna had a thing for Justin. And she didn't try and hide it. But JC had always thought that Justin wasn't interested. He never gave the impression that he was. "Are you sure?" He asked, his voice slightly strained.
"As sure as I'm sat here. Look, JC, I just want what's best for you, and if that means looking out for you, then that's what I'm going to do." She said, and she had him right where she wanted him. He would never confront Justin about this alleged relationship as it wasn't JC's style. She was in prime position. JC just remained in his position, hunched forward, his elbows resting on his knees. The tidal wave of emotion would follow shortly. And sure enough, as he stared forward to the pavement below, the tears started streaming down his cheeks. He sniffled loudly as he fought the emotions that threatened to override him. As soon as she heard the sniffle she saluted her triumph.
"That's not the way to go JC. You should have expected him to find someone soon enough. There's a reason why you love him you know." She stated. She then tried to put her hand on his shoulder, and he accepted. he didn't really register her touch as he had too much on his mind. He then wiped the continual tears from his face in an attempt to look presentable.
"I'm still here if you need me!" She whispered in his ear. And that was that. He had pushed her presence aside as he dealt with his emotions upon her revelation. But her close proximity to him, and the words she spoke, provocative words, caught his attention. They were like spokes in the fire, a rag to a bull. He had warned her, and still she didn't listen. Her words could be excused as being helpful and calming remarks of a friend by passers by, but she wasn't a friend. She was someone he hated to be around, and someone who should know her place. JC shot up off the bench in reaction to the words...
"Don't you fucking touch me!" He shouted. The park narrowed to complete silence. Passers by, passed by a little quicker as he stood there aiming his harsh stare at Bobbie. "I fucking told you. And you didn't listen. I've put up with your shit for too long, and now, after you tell me the worst news in my life, you try and make a move on me! I'm gay you stupid bitch!" He screamed and then he turned and ran, away from her as quickly as he could. He ran for the short trip back to the hotel, grabbed his keys and entered an empty elevator. He pressed the button for the eleventh floor and he paused. His body was visibly shaking. He had never snapped like that before with anyone. But he could imagine Bobbie still sat on the bench, laughing to herself on how she had him wrapped around her little finger, yet again! The ding for the eleventh floor sounded and he rushed for his door. The floodgates that were again threatening him approached quickly, and he wanted to be in his own room before that happened. He quietly opened the door so to not disturb anyone and he closed it behind him as quietly. Once inside, the gates opened and he slumped to the floor with his head in his hands. This was the moment he had been dreading. It was one of those things that he had been waiting for, for a long time. He had used the logic that the longer it went on where Justin didn't have a girlfriend, the more likely it was that he was gay. And JC held onto that twisted logic for so long, until he convinced himself that it was all useless. He slowly pulled himself from the floor, wiped his eyes and walked jaggedly to the couch in the main area of the double suite. He slumped down in the comfy fabric and stared forward. The room was dark, but a certain amount of sunlight shone through the window.
Suddenly, in-front of him stood something out of place, on the coffee table. He stopped his sniffling and leant forward and picked it up. It was a small book, a blue one. The front was slightly worn, and the pages looked well read from the edges. He had no idea why it was there, only that it must have belonged to the person, or persons who were in the suite before. But he was intrigued, and decided to flip open the final page, and get the gist.
Through the thin walls and into the other suite, Britney and Lance sat across from each other in silence. Joey and Chris had gone to bed to get some well needed sleep after the flight.
"I feel bad." Said Britney. "It's his birthday today and he probably thinks we've abandoned him." She mused. Lance looked up from his coffee
"I know what you mean, but we've just got to make sure we get something sorted before the end of the day, then we won't need to feel bad." Reminded Lance. "Or we could just go next door and say happy birthday just in case!" he said followed by a little laugh. Britney smirked.
"No, we couldn't do that, we need to get them together first, and anyway, I wonder where JC...Oh shit!" Said Britney. A small fact that had eluded all of them, suddenly became apparent. "Oh Shit!" She said again...
"What? what?" Asked a bemused Lance.
"Next door...Justin and JC next door. They're in adjoining suites!" She pointed out and Lance followed with his own rendition "Oh shit!"
JC stood up, picked up the book and looked it over. He took a glance around the room for some reason, just to ensure he wasn't snooping into someone's private things with them present. He slowly opened the back page and focused slightly to read the writing. It looked familiar, but he didn't read into it. He began to read, but all he concentrated on was the last segment. He thought it was a book, not a journal, so he thought the ending would give away the content. He started to read and he had no idea as to what he would find.
Dear JC...
This is the last page of the first book. There's probably going to be more where this came from. I don't have a plug to put in that'll stop the feelings I have, or a blind that will shield the emotions I carry with me. I don't know when this is going to end, but if and when you read this, know that I didn't run away from you because I hate you or anything like that. Know that I ran away because I can't stand to be reminded every time that I look at you, that I am helplessly and completely in love with you, and I always have been. I could never bring myself to tell you to your face, that's how cowardly I am. I could never loose your friendship or I'd die. Just know that I love you Joshua Scott Chasez...
Love Justin...
He stopped as soon as he read his name, but after a pause he carried on. Every words he read was a hair on the back of his neck that stood on end. Every syllable that he passed over was a nerve ending that sprang into life. As the phrase went, this was the stuff dreams were made of. His legs started to become uneasy as he neared the end. He needed to know who this was from, but he couldn't rip himself from the unfolding words on the page. He started to back up, towards the sofa, and as his eyes reached the dedication, he hit the edge of the sofa, and collapsed. His eyes read the words `Love Justin...' over and over as he clasped a hand over his mouth as he tried in vain to cope with the overwhelming emotions that overran his being. Could Justin really love him? Was this true? Was it a dream? Even after running the simple two word phrase over and over in his mind, he still froze, in complete emotion shock, on the couch. This was a realisation of the thing he had dreamed of his entire adult life. From the age of 21 he had loved this man, this friend, this soul-mate. . Now he knew they both spoke the same language. He steadied himself and leant forward, picking up the pen in the process. He had read a piece of Justin's soul, and he felt an overwhelming need to return the favour. He no longer felt the need to keep his feelings and emotions secret. There was no pressure to hide anymore, and now he could smile at the attempt Bobbie made to ruin the image he had of Justin forever. He balanced the pen between his fingers and allowed himself to write...
My Dream has come true...I love you too...
Love Josh
It was a simple response, but it explained everything he felt and knew. But as soon as he had finished his thoughts wandered to why he would find such a book in his hotel suite, when Justin was over 3000 miles away on the other side of the continental US. He couldn't fathom why until he suddenly heard a noise from an adjoining room. It sounded like footsteps behind a closed door, and as soon as he heard the noise he hid the book behind the cushion he was sat against and waiting.
Sure enough, the door opened slowly, and out came Justin. He wiped his eyes and yawned the sleep away. JC smiled as he did. This was almost too much to take. he had fled LA to get away from Justin, and all he had done was follow him to New York. Justin looked up, and as soon as he noticed someone in the room, he jumped, in panic, not knowing it was JC.
"Shit, what the...Josh? Is that you?" He asked, not quite believing it to be true
"Yeah it's me. Funny us bumping into each other here..." Commented JC, a permanent smile embossed on his face. Justin just smiled slightly and realised the one thing he didn't want JC seeing, was missing. he left it on the table, but it wasn't there anymore. JC noticed Justin tense almost before it happened. he watched as Justin's eyes darted from place to place around the room, but they focused on the table. Then he realised. Justin didn't know how he felt, he was still in a daydream of possibility. JC pulled the book from behind his back and held it out...
"I think you are looking for this..." he said, handing the book to Justin. Justin looked over in horror. Josh had his book, the book he never thought Josh would ever get close to let alone know of it's existence. Justin slowly reached forward and took the book. He knew he had to cover up his fear. He could picture his own face, and knew JC could probably tell something was wrong too. In fact, he had probably read his words and thoughts, his fears and emotions, so he was bound to say something... Justin started to turn away...
"I didn't think you were coming to New York...I thought it was just me!" Said Justin, starting his retreat towards his room. He needed to get away soon, now. JC just looked at his retreating form and knew he had to start it...
"I came here to get away from you..." Said JC, softly. It was a harsh comment, but the truth. And he felt the truth needed to be used from now on, to avoid anymore heartache. Justin stopped in his tracks, and turned to JC. Why would he want to come to New York to get away from me?' Justin thought. Suddenly his irrational fears and deep rooted emotions started to kick in. Surely JC had read the book. He could never be so blatant if he hadn't. Justin looked at JC once before looking down to the floor and started to fidget. He wanted to say something, but as soon as he tried to speak, the words failed him. All he could think to ask was Why?' but it didn't come. All he could do was allow a tear to form in his eyes as he looked down.
JC looked on as Justin struggled to come to terms with what he had said. He regretted his forward comments as soon as he said them as he saw the negative was it was affecting him.
"I read it. I read the last page." Said JC, trying to get towards what he had waited for, for his entire adult life. But he didn't want to dump it on him like a tonne of bricks. Justin froze and looked up. He waited a moment, waiting for JC to stand up and react the way he had dreamt of all these years. He waited for the ranting and raving, and the obscenities, and eventually the slamming of the door as he left. But it didn't materialise. JC just stood up and walked a few steps towards Justin. Then he stopped. He could see he needed to say more. He needed Justin to read the words for himself, like he had read Justin's. "I wrote something myself." He said. Justin looked on for a second before tentatively opening the book to the final page and he started to read. His eyes blinked twice as he scanned over the brief statement, reading it a second time. A lump caught in his throat as he looked up to JC. He again wanted to speak but all he could say was...
"You..."
"I love you Justin..." Choked JC as he closed the distance between the pair. As soon as he reached Justin he placed his hand on Justin's cheek and narrowed the distance between them. Justin couldn't believe what was happening, and he lost all need to hold the book to him and he dropped it to the floor. "I love you too..." Whispered Justin as he struggled to comprehend that his ultimate dream and lifelong wish was coming true. "I've loved you for as long as ..." Started Justin, emotions running high. But JC interrupted. "I know. Me too." He said, finger placed softly over Justin's lips, which Justin duly kissed. JC pulled his finger away and looked deep into Justin's eyes, thinking of nothing but kissing him, holding, being with him. Justin looked back equally, knowing this was the start of something beyond his wildest ever dreams. They leant forward, closing their eyes, tilting their heads, and their lips met, softly, delicately, entwining them together, sealing their love, and starting something new, in place of something old. Now their love was indeed, a two way conversation...
The End.
There we go again folks...it's all done and dusted!! I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoy putting it together. It started out as a one A4 page of littered ideas and brainstorms aimed at trying to put together a story to commemorate Justin's 21st and it ended up being a 5 chapter short story out just in time to claim it was a homage to JC's recent Birthday celebrations...
I am more than willing to try and take it further, but it might not appear in 5 chapter bursts or whatever...It depends if anyone wants it to happen. I feel as though I have taken it to a logical conclusion, but it also presents a good spot to start again...so I will leave it up to you all if it goes any further, and how!
Please feel free to get back to me and let me know what you think of this little ol` fiction thingy...
(grimstone@btinternet.com or ujemeflip@hotmail.com)
See yaz all laterz
DCG