Dear Diary (c) 2002 Mychyl Kime (KimeNet Corp.)
This is a work of fiction, depicting teenage males in romance and/or sexual positions. The people depicted in this story (to the best of the author's knowledge) do NOT exist... in the rare case that they're based on real people, the names HAVE been changed... not so much as to protect the innocent as to spare the poor people listed within the unnecessary fame this story might bring to them... not that I'm saying lots of people will read this, or even people where I've lived, but there's always a slight chance... And these events are, for the most part, all the imagination of the author, although I've seen the events depicted many, many times. And by the way, the places used within do exist, and are easily as evil as depicted herein...
If you are under 18 years of age (or whatever the legal age in your area is) you must leave. Of course, I can't very well make you leave... but if you choose to stay, DON'T GET CAUGHT! It is neither my fault, nor the fault of this wonderful site, if you get caught running around here.
Also, if you are repulsed by the concept of homosexual romance and/or sex, please feel free to leave at any time. In fact, now would be a good time. But hey, it's your call, of course... I can't make you leave, either... but if you choose to stay, feel free... who knows, you might even change your mind! My only question is: why are you here if that's the case?
This is a new story, completely independent of my older work; if you are interested in that, it's in HighSchool/The_Dance. And please, do not ask if The Road Ahead will be completed. It will not. In fact, if I can sweettalk the wonderful people at Nifty into doing a favor for me, the token trifle which is The Road Ahead (online) may be destroyed. I'll offer up the rest of this, and the anticipated next two books, for it, in fact. >_>()
Each chapter will be prefaced by a piece of the song "Dear Diary", (c) 2000 Britney Spears, from her album "Oops... I Did It Again". I make no misrepresentations to my ownership or rights to this song; however, I am certain that Ms. Spears (or should I say, the future Mrs. Timberlake? though this seems to change from time to time, so perhaps I'll remove this little addendum next time I update this intro/advisory) would not be so petty as to sue me for usage of this song on a free forum, where I can gain no profit from using it.
Please feel free to email me with your comments/suggestions. My email is: jasani666@hotmail.com (my old ones were claimed by hostile takeover, care of a hack/infection). Or, if you'd prefer, you can IM me on the chance you catch me online (which by the end of next month will hopefully be more often, since I should be getting a new computer then):
AIM: JasaniAvatar
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IRC: (xy.observers.net room XYchat last I knew) WyldChylde
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And now, without further delay:
-- Chapter 8 --
"Dear Diary...
One touch of his hand..."
-B. Spears, "Dear Diary"
I woke up to the complete and absolute quiet of an apparently recently unoccupied house (which, other than the one, me, it did appear to be), and moved around on the couch a little, trying to find a clock, something to give me some sort of idea how late I was gonna wind up being to school... but first, I found a note addressed to me sitting on the coffee table in front of me, and recognized Ryan's handwriting. Slightly puzzled, I sat up and read the note...
Sean-
I didn't want to wake you up, so I just wrote this instead. Kev said that he's got stuff he has to do after school, so how would ya like to make up for last night after you get home from school? Page me n I'll come running... ya know me.
Love,
Ryan
I sat the note back down on the table and stretched, considering cutting school to take Ryan up on his offer... a makeup session for the prior night, not to mention fun that early in the morning... but then, I remembered Zack and Johnny, and I forced myself up the stairs and into my bedroom, my eyes absently picking out the imprints their tangled forms left upon my bed during the night...
That decided the matter for me. I certainly wasn't exactly pleased with Ryan for all but ignoring me the night before and paying all his attentions to Kevin, and since I truly and desperately needed to talk to Zack and Johnny about everything that'd happened, I decided to go ahead and go to school. I quickly picked out a pair of black board shorts and a black t-shirt, deciding to forgo boxers today... they weren't all that comfortable under board shorts, and I always chose my own comfort over practicality. Clothes in hand, I made my way into the bathroom, noting almost immediately that the water along the floor of the shower was still warm... it hadn't been long at all after they'd left the house when I awoke, and I deliberately blocked out the image of Ryan and Kevin going at it in the shower as it came into my head, rushing through my own shower and drying off as quickly as possible, throwing my clothes on quickly before pausing a moment to tease and gel my hair into a passable imitation of spikes, hurrying to throw on my sandals and grab my backpack and heading downstairs, taking the stairs three at a time, heading out the front door and into the brightly lit world, pausing again to squint from the painful light, waiting for my eyes to adjust...
It took me about ten minutes after that to get to my school, the bell ringing as class let out. I glanced at my wrist to find out what time it was, only to realize just then I'd completely forgotten my watch, that it was laying at home... on my dresser, most likely. As far I could tell, however, first period had just let out, so I walked across the field, heading towards where I knew Zack's second class was, but instead saw him crossing the Quad towards the 'forbidden' area, where everyone hung out during cut periods... where Zack and I hung out just the day before. I changed course to follow him, moving quietly, and was amazed to see Johnny sitting over there, hanging out already, apparently waiting for Zack...
"Zack!" I called out as we got closer. "Johnny!"
Zack's face as he turned to face me was first a mask of shock, then betrayal, finally settling into apparent indifference to my very presence, turning to walk away from me towards Johnny, with me following.
"Can I talk to you guys?" I pleaded with them, not receiving a response from either of them, feeling myself nearly on the verge of crying. "Please?"
Zack turned to face me, his body directly between me and Johnny, as though protecting him from me, his face an unfathomable mask. "What do YOU want?" he demanded of me in a cold, hateful voice, moving back to sit down right next to Johnny, their bare legs touching, much as ours had the day before... I blocked the image of the former day, concentrating on what I needed to tell them.
"I'm sorry about yesterday," I started lamely, not knowing how else to breach the subject, but seeing Zack's eyes go cold, I rushed on ahead. "But I remembered... realized... something last night. Me and Kevin, we never really started going out, not officially. We'd fucked, yeah, but I don't know that that could be considered a relationship," I continued, not sure whether or not I should continue from there... but my heart was speaking, not my mind, so I continued onward anyways... "And I'm not sure I'm really all about him... I..."
I finally stopped myself short, finally realizing something so obvious, I should've noticed sooner. The two's body language spoke louder and stronger than words ever could. They were a couple, and the day before, everything that we'd done together, was purely a fling, simply a sexual experience, and nothing at all more. I was interested in Zack and Johnny both, in a way neither would ever, could ever return... they were in love with each other, and I was little more than a good friend to them... well, a friend with benefits, as the day before had proved, but still...
"What DO you want, then?" Zack asked me, his voice filled with more confusion than anything else.
"I want to still be friends with both of you," I said softly, even though my heart was screaming otherwise at the top of its lungs. "I don't know, or care, if you ever want to repeat yesterday afternoon... I just don't ever want to lose either of you as friends..."
Zack and Johnny exchanged glances, an intimately private conversation shared in that single look, and they both turned to face me, Johnny wearing a strangely sad smile.
"We don't want to lose you either," he said almost sadly, his voice barely more than a whisper. "...As a friend," he added quickly, glancing once again to Zack.
I hugged them both as tightly as possible to me, Zack on my right and Johnny on my left, as I cried inwardly, my heart weeping with the ignored desire, the wish to tell them how I truly felt towards them. However, my logical mind decided that doing so would probably only hurt them, maybe even tear them apart, and quite possibly ensuring my losing them as friends, and from where I stood, nothing was worth losing that... not even the potential happiness of having them with me...
Whew! Another chapter done!
OK, according to plans (which is to say, I've got it all written out already, and just need to finish typing it), we've got a couple more chapters left... and then, we move on to the next story in the Ukiah Chronicles! (For those who're interested in continuing the series from here, that is...)
Unfortunately, I've got another move coming up, so there may be a slight delay between now and when I next manage to get online to post. The story, as I said before, is fully written out, so that's not the issue, and during my enforced break, I'm gonna continue working on Frozen, the next story from the series (which I'll probably just put in this folder, so it's easier to deal with)...
As always, please email me if you have any comments... fan mail is ALWAYS appreciated, from new and old fans alike! My email's up at the top.