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Under The Moonlit Sky Chapter 5
Dominic
We went back into the living room. I intended to stop hurting him once and for all and tell him everything. But I also knew that telling him everything I could hurt him more than he can bear. He sat down on the couch with a smile on his face. Motioning me to come over and sit next to him. But all I could do was pace in front of him. He got up and he hugged me. It always felt good to have his arms around me, and I knew full well that this could be the last time he ever holds me. I savored this moment, this embrace cause tonight I could lose him forever.
He slowly released me, as I started to calm down. We sat back down on the couch, and he grabbed my hand and held it tightly. I could not hold back the tears in my eyes, while he just smiled, wiping my eyes.
"Whatever it is, I will always love you."
I tried to smile, but I knew that he will soon regret that he ever made that statement. I kissed him softly, slowly, savoring the feel of his lips, the warmth and taste of his tongue. I pulled away from him, looking deeply into his eyes.
"I love you so much. I don't think I can live without you. But I don't deserve you."
"Of course you deserve me Domi-"
"Please let me speak. If I don't say this now, I'll never have the courage to again. I have to keep from hurting you."
He nods slowly with a confused look on his face. I took a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts.
"When you are not-"
I paused. How could I speak the words that would break him? I started to shake, but he just held on to me firmly. Closing my eyes I took another long deep breath.
"You're right about how I need help. I really do need help. But I don't have a disorder or anything. I have another kind of addiction. Something much words, that been going on for years."
I opened my eyes. He had a very calm expression on his face. It was still full of love and devotion. I could only hope it would stay that way.
"We have been together for about five years now. Four out of those five years, I have done the unimaginable. Sometimes when you were away on the road, other times, when you're here, even a few times right next to you while you're sleeping."
"Domi, whatever it is, I love-"
"Don't Chezzy, just don't. After tonight you will never love me again."
It was then for the first time I saw pain in his eyes. I think he finally grasps the seriousness of his conversation.
"I have been doing drugs Chezney. And not just simple things like weed, but pills, x, meth, heroine, even some cocaine every now and then."
He quickly removed his hand from mine and got up walking away from me. I tried to grab his hand to pull him back to the couch but he smacked it away.
"Chezzy please..."
"Don't Chezzy please me Domi. You know how I feel about drugs. Both my mother and my father were addicted and look where they are now! SIX feet under in Sunny Hill Cemetery. "
"I know, I know."
"No you DON'T KNOW!"
He was furious beyond words, and he had every right to be. He started to walk away from me again when I got up and grabbed his arm. He turned to look at me. Both of our faces were covered in tears. I tried to wipe his but he pulled away from me. Looking into his eyes, I could still see forgiveness, I could still see love. I wanted to hold on to that so bad, but I knew that I have to tell him the whole truth.
"Chezney please sit down there is more."
He took a deep breath then, mostly out of disbelief that there could be more. He pulled his arm away, walking over to the armchair before slowly sitting down. I knelled now in front of him, taking his hand in mine. I was surprised that he allowed this, but grateful that he did. I tried to get him to look at me, but his eyes were focused in the far left corner of the room. I tried to keep myself as calm as possible, knowing I was about to turn a flame into a roaring forest fire. I took one last look at his sweet face before continuing.
"Chezzy, you were my world, you are my world. Always. Nothing will ever change that. We... you have been so strong, so patient with me through everything, every hit, every disappearance. I wished that sometimes you would see how horrible I am, maybe to save you this heartache. I never wanted to hurt you. I have dreamed of us many nights just running away from everything, having a family, even getting married. But in my heart I knew that you were the moonlight, and I was just the big black cloud that put your light out."
I had to stop. I was crying to hard I could barely speak. I buried my face in his chest, and once again he did not move. I could feel his eyes upon me, I could hear his heart slow steady beat, still beating the code of love that I now pray he lets me keep. After a moment I pulled away, bringing my hands up to his face, running my fingers over every single inch as if I were blind. I ran my hands over his hair, and back down to his lips. I wanted to kiss them, but I knew that would not be right. I pulled away, placing my hands back into his.
"What I'm about to tell you, just might break us."
This time he did not look away from me. I wish he had, to save me from the burning memory of his eyes.
"I have been cheating."
I swear I could see all the blood run out of his flesh. He covered his face with his hands and started shaking.
"With who?"
It was an angry whisper that echoed in my ears. I swallowed hard, backing away with my eyes to the floor.
"One of the people was Jason."
"One of the people? How many more Dominic?"
He was shaking even more. He removed his hands from his face, sitting forward on the chair with his elbows on his knees. His voice scared me, it was calm yet forceful. But worst of all I could feel his energy around me, cracking, tearing even.
"I don't know."
"Tell me Dominic, how many?"
He giggled a bit as he said it. Fear begun to run threw me.
"More then ten, maybe 15."
"Ten to fifteen times or ten to fifteen people."
Still an eerie calmness in his voice, but his eyes told it all. Pain, devastation, anger. I had broke him. Shattered him into a million pieces.
"People Chezney, people."
I was crying hard at this point, still kneeling in front of the armchair. It was quite for a moment, until I finally heard him get up, and slowly walk over to the closet. His expression was still calm but I could tell something was different, when he simply walked past me and said-
"Get out."
I stood up slowly as he opened the closet door, pulling out a long crow bar. I was afraid, but not for myself, but for him. This is what I have done to him.
"Chezney..."
He walked past me over to the far right wall; swing the crow bar into a painting that I had painted of him and me a year ago. Tearing it to the ground in pieces.
"I SAID GET OUT!"
His voice terrified me to the core. It almost had a demonic growl behind it that shook me. I walked towards the door. Hearing glass break behind me, I turned around to see pictures frames of me and him nothing but broken glass on the floor. A lamp made up of naked men I begged him to buy now gone.
"Chezney..."
I could barely speak his name, and I knew he was too far gone to even notice I was still in the room. I knew there was only one person that could save him from the distraction that I have caused. I walk out the door, hearing more of our prized processions break; I pulled out my cell phone.
"Morgan, I told him the truth, he needs you.
Chezney
My mind was full of darkness. I wanted to scream, but the pain would not let me. The heartache was crushing me from the inside out, slowly, ever so slowly until it was unbearable. I stopped and looked around me. Almost everything in the house was destroyed. Glass everywhere, broken furniture, and none of this made me feel any better.
Author's Notes:
Thanks to all the readers who support this story. Each and every comment I get mean so much to me. For more of this story as well as my other story Finding Myself Within Eric, please join the group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/shadowcastingcollections