As time wore on, I listened to the CD several times a day. I didn't always fall asleep to it, and I began to notice that I just would feel very relaxed and in a trance almost. I realized it was a hypnotism CD and that it encouraged my relaxation and my recall of events. I don't know everything that it said because I would become so relaxed and just enjoy it. I knew that after I listened each time I was more comfortable, more relaxed and just felt better. I continued to chat online with Mr. Ericsson and in person and on the phone.
I was trimming my chest one day when I realized that I no longer liked it at all. I didn't want to have any hair there. I started shaving that day. I started regularly shaving my chest, my armpits, and my crotch and ass. I didn't need that hair, I thought to myself. What does a faggot need hair for? It doesn't serve a purpose on a faggot. I wasn't sure where I had gotten the idea, but I knew as soon as I had finished the shaving the first time that it was right for me. It looked better from day one to me, and it felt better to me too.
Rob became sicker and eventually he died. It was a very stressful time for me and I don't know whether I would have come through it as well as I did without the comfort of the CD and Mr. Ericsson helping me through it. I was very grateful for his assistance during that time.
About 2 weeks after Rob had died, I went online again. I had not been on for awhile. There had been so much going on in my life. Mr. Ericsson was there and he started chatting to me and checking up on me as he had not "seen" me there for awhile. He suggested I meet up with him later in the day, so we set a time and I went over to his place.
When I got there, Mr. Ericsson greeted me at the door and we went inside. We sat for a bit drinking coffee and talked about some of the things that had happened to me with Rob and some of the dreams. His voice was soothing as always and I knew I was becoming relaxed listening to him. I knew I would soon be in a trance and I would probably fall asleep and dream. That is what happened when I was with him.
"You are such a good boy Steve," he began at one point. "You are remembering so much so quickly. It has been so stressful lately, you should just relax. Just relax and let it go. That is why I am here, boy. Just relax. Take your shirt off boy; I think you would feel much more relaxed with your shirt off."
I wanted to feel relaxed, so I took my shirt off. I did feel more relaxed once it was off. Mr. Ericsson always seemed to know what was good for me.
"Very good boy, very good. I see you are shaving your chest now," Mr. Ericsson stated. "You didn't need that hair anyway. I like it better when you have no hair. You like doing things that please me now, don't you, boy?"
I blushed; Mr. Ericsson liked my shaved chest. "Yes, Sir. I knew I needed to do it, I answered."
"Good boy. You are following the instructions on the CD and from me so well now boy. Even with all your stress and disappointments, you are doing so well," Mr. Ericsson smiled. "You are becoming more relaxed, you know more and more about yourself every day, boy. Such a good boy, such a good faggot...
*** Rob had his arm around my neck. He had pulled my head back and was whispering in my ear. His cock buried in my hole.
"Faggot!" he said. His thrusts were deep and I was moaning as he worked me over. "You need cock don't you? Need it more than I do. You live to get fucked like this I bet"
I was stunned at Rob's words. He had never said stuff like this in the year and a half we had dated and then lived together. Other guys had said similar stuff to me but he had not said anything like that before. I had been fucking him more than he had been fucking me and I thought things were going along well, I was finally having an equal relationship with a man, just like I was supposed to have. Like two equal men had.
"You like being a little bitch don't you?" he asked. "I want an answer from you."
"Wh..what do you mean?" I mumbled. I could feel myself turning red, embarrassed by his questions as we were there on our bed having sex.
"You KNOW what I mean. You need to be submissive. You need to feel a man running your life. You need a man to fuck you. I can't believe it took me so long to figure you out, but I guess that happens when I was expecting you to be something you aren't. I thought you were at least a versatile guy, at least had some idea of how to fuck and take charge but tonight I am forgetting that.
Rob's fucking was picking up speed. He was pounding me as he spoke into my ear.
"You are a real bitch at heart. You need to get fucked good and hard. You need to be the bottom boy because that is where your heart and head are at."
He flipped me over on the bed and was staring down at me as he poised his cock at the entrance to my ass. He just held it there staring at me.
"I'm right aren't I? You really aren't the man here are you?" he asked. He just kept his cock ready, bouncing at the entrance to my hole, and I wanted him back inside me, but I didn't want to admit anything to him. I liked the way things were.
"I figured you for a regular guy, but here you have been holding back on me all this time. I'm not used to being top guy, so it took me awhile to figure it out, but I did. You can't ever decide shit, you always are letting others tell you what to do, and it just took me awhile because, I figured you couldn't really be as much of a pussy ass all that." Rob just smiled. It wasn't his usual smile it was a smile like he had figured out something important.
"Say it, Steve," Rob told me. "Tell me it's true, that you need my dick. That you need to get fucked, that you are my bitch" I was shaking my head. I didn't want to become the same bitch I had been before, to get used again, I had gotten away from all that, I thought to myself. But Rob didn't want that answer, didn't want to see me saying no.
I was shaking my head and he began to poke at my hole, just teasing it, shoving his dickhead in, put pulling it out, just opening me up enough to slip his cock in then pulling it back out again. In and out, teasing me, my head turning back and forth in a no.
"Please, please don't make me say it," I was pleading. I wanted him to fuck me, but I didn't want to have to say it.
"It's not going to be the same once you say it. You'll be my bitch from now on, but it will be okay, it's what you really want," Rob just kept smiling as he teased my hole. My head was saying no "Say it, come on, say it and you'll get my fuck."
I didn't want to say it, but somewhere from my mouth I heard my words tumble out.
"I'm your bitch, please fuck me," it was a whisper at first. Then I said it again. "Please fuck me. Make me your bitch."
"Good boy," Rob smiled and drove into me, fucking me hard, making me his, making me a bitch again...
I was back on Mr. Ericsson's sofa. I was in a trance I decided. I don't know what else to call it. I wasn't sleeping I knew, but I was definitely feeling like I was asleep. I could hardly move and I was only just aware that I was talking. And telling Mr. Ericsson what was happening with Rob not so long ago.
"You are such a good girl," Mr. Ericsson said to me in his soothing voice. "You liked being the bitch for Rob didn't you?"
I nodded.
"You have always been a good girl. You tried being a good man, but really you are a good girl, a good bitch," Mr. Ericsson explained to me. "It has always been your place, hasn't it? To be such a good boy, a good faggot and follow orders."
His statements and questions needed no response. It was all true. I nodded again, and felt so relaxed realizing that all my dreams and memories told me the same thing. I was a good girl. I liked following orders and that is what I did best.
"You are so relaxed and happy knowing these things aren't you? So relaxed and happy to realize that everything you have done with men is because you are a good faggot. A good girl. You just needed someone to help you place all of these memories in the proper setting for you to understand, Steve. You KNOW these things are real, you KNOW that these experiences have been good, because they made you who you are today, boy. Don't you?"
"Yes Sir, Mr. Ericsson," I said slowly. "I know it is good."
"That's right, you are happy and more satisfied knowing these things. You are a faggot, Steve. A faggot serves men, boy. You can accept these things about yourself because they make you most happy and most satisfied. When you accept the truth, and serve a man and let him be in charge you are the happiest and most satisfied."
I noticed Mr. Ericsson was standing there in front of me naked. His cock was pointing directly at me, hard and fat.
"What do you want faggot?" he asked. "What do you need that will make you happy?"
I stammered, "T..t..to serve you and your needs, Mr. Ericsson, Sir."
"Good girl. You may suck on it now, bitch."
I moved quicker than I thought I could being so sleepy. I devoured his cock into my mouth and I heard him sigh as I swallowed his cock all the way until my lips tasted the sweat from his crotch.
"You are such a good faggot. You know what makes a man happy. You know what your purpose is. Such a good girl. You have a mouth like a pussy. So warm and wet, bitch. Work your throat on my cockhead, girl. Come on, take all of it."
"Mr. Ericsson grabbed the back of my head and began pumping long strokes into my throat. I had no problem taking him because I was a good girl and could take his cock deep. He was pulling all the way out and long strands of my saliva from deep in my throat were emerging from my mouth before he would grab my head and force it back down again on his cock.
He pulled his dick out with his hand and slapped my face with it smearing the saliva all over my face before shoving it back again into my throat. He cleared his own throat and spat on me when I looked up at him and saw his blue eyes focused intently on me. I could do nothing but let his spit run down my face because I was a good faggot and this was natural for me. I knew it deeply now and everything he was saying and doing felt completely right for me. I had never felt more satisfied than at this very moment.
"You are such a good cocksucker, bitch. You need to know how good this feels so you can do it for every man that wants to use your hole. You suck cock so well, boy. Such a good faggot."
Mr. Ericsson's cock was all slimy when he pulled it from my mouth. I whimpered when he didn't place it back this time.
"Show me your pussy, bitch. Such a good girl to show a man her pussy. Turn around and show me your fuckhole, girl."
Slowly I turned around as if still asleep, but this time I knew somehow it wasn't a dream. Mr. Ericsson had been leading me to this place for a few months now.
"Such a nice hole," he stated simply. "I see you shaved it clean as I ordered." I didn't recall his ordering it, but somehow knew suddenly that I had done it for him. The same way I knew that I had shaved my chest completely for him, because he had said he wanted it that way.
Mr. Ericsson kneeled behind me and lined up his cock at my hole. "What is a pussy for, bitch?" he asked.
"To fuck Sir, to be used for your pleasure," the words streamed from my mouth without hesitation, from somewhere deep in my mind. "Please fuck my pussy Sir, I need it."
"Such a good girl, such a good faggot. You remember now what you are for. You know now that you are to be used by men for their pleasure. It is part of you and you accept this now. You are happier than ever before because you recognize this bitch. You do not want to fight the truth any longer Steve. You know only by accepting the truth will you receive the happiness and satisfaction a faggot can receive in life"
Mr. Ericsson was right. He slowly slipped the full length of his cock into me and I heard a large sigh escape my lips and a moan from his.
"Fuck you are a good hole, girl. Such a tight cunt on you, but you took it no problem at all because this is what you are made for. Good faggot. This is what makes you a good girl."
I felt so proud that I was making Mr. Ericsson happy. It was so warming inside me to feel his cock there and to hear from him that I was a good faggot.
Mr. Ericsson began fucking me, slowly at first but he built up speed. He was pounding my pussy hard before I knew it. He was quiet for a long time as he pulled all the way back and shoved all the way in. I could feel and hear his balls slapping my ass as he made use of my cunt for his pleasure. I could feel the smile on my face as he held my head down with one hand and supported himself on top of me. I could feel the shudder of his body as he slammed into me repeatedly. Before I knew it his cock suddenly got harder, his body clenched and he began filling me with his seed.
"I am breeding you faggot. Once it happens things will be different. Your pussy is now mine. I am giving you my seed fagboy and you will carry it with you always now. I will always be part of your dna now bitch. Such a good bitch letting me breed you."
He collapsed on top of me and lay there for a long time. I could feel his still hard cock inside me, not deflating at all. He began whispering in my ear.
"You needed that bitch. You needed to know you are a breeding hole. A good faggot, a good girl, because a good girl needs a good breeding. You need to know that a man can take what he wants from you and ultimately that is what you are for in this world. A good fuck, a good pussy. Don't ever forget that bitch. Of all the things you learn from me, that is most important boy. You understand me?"
"Yes Sir, I understand."
"Good boy, good fag. Now you are becoming sleepy and relaxed again. You are such a good faggot. Every time you hear these words you will remember your place, your role and your need to serve men. Good faggot, good girl. Not just me, but all men, just as you have always done, bitch, just as how you will always do now, girl. All those men in your life used you because they KNEW you were a good faggot. It shows on you boy and there is nothing you can do to change it. You are such a good faggot. You are sleepy, but you will remember now, all the dreams, all the past events in your life and you will connect them together, because they lead to the ONE reason you are here, to serve men. You will remember now this event, you will remember all the lessons we have been working on because you can handle it now. You know who and what you are, faggot. You are a good girl, a good bitch, and your place is to serve all men."
With that, Mr. Ericsson pulled his cock out of my hole. I was suddenly aware of everything, of where I was and how I had got there, of everything that had happened and of everything that had taken place in my life. I was so overcome with emotion that I began crying as I sat up. I was crying from happiness, crying because I was aware of who and what I was, and crying because I felt happy about seeing it all for the first time.
I threw my arms around Mr. Ericsson's legs. He patted me on the head and repeated many times what a good fag I was. I took his still hard cock into my mouth and cleaned it thoroughly. He said I was such a good fag that I could cum for him if I wanted and just from him telling me that I could do that, I shot a load from my dick onto his feet. I bent over and cleaned his feet with my tongue all the while teary eyed from joy at knowing me for the first time. Things were so clear to me; I wondered why I had fought the truth so long. All this time all I needed to do was realize that is was all part of my purpose, that it was all part of who and what I was.