Okay This story contains sexual acts between two females if this offends you then don't read it. If you are not 18 or whatever the age maybe where your from, don't read it. If you just don't like the idea of love between two ladies, go somewhere else. Don't read it. The characters are not real. Any similarities are just that.
I still have many, many chapters to go. Let me know what you think so far. Good or bad. Thank you so much to everyone who has written me giving me much needed encouragement to keep writing. I have made many friends and hope to find even more. It is amazing who you meet on here. smiles I love to write so check back in soon and you are sure to find more.
As always, enjoy.
Amanda
Part 11
The Past
Emily may not have had as many friends as her sister but the ones she had she wouldn't trade for the world. She was glad that she considered her sister to be one, even after all that had happened.
"Thank you, Sarah." Emily said quietly, looking back over at Alexis.
"You're my sister. I would do anything for you." Sarah said squeezing her sister's shoulders.
"How about that talk now?" Emily said with a weak smile.
"When ever you are ready."
"I don't know if I will ever be ready. So take advantage of the situation and lets get some tea and talk."
"You know^Å you shouldn't be drinking tea while pregnant."
"Don't you ever take a day off of work Dr. Madera?" Emily laughed as they walked into her kitchen. "Is it okay if I drink decaf chamomile tea ma'am?"
"Shut up." Sarah laughed. "Don't ever call me ma'am again. I may be older than you but I can still kick you ass."
Emily pulled out her tea pot and china cups and set about making them tea.
"You still have gram's tea set?" Sarah asked astonished.
"No, I threw it away. I picked up this antique Victorian set at a garage sale."
"Smart ass. I still can't believe it." Sarah said leaning on the island in the center of the kitchen, watching her sister work.
"What that I have grandma's tea set, that I use it, or that I am a lesbian and pregnant?" Emily said. She couldn't help but laugh at the stunned look on her sister's face.
"Sorry, you usually aren't the outspoken one." Her sister sputtered.
"I think it's about time that changes, don't you?"
"Just don't say something like that while I'm eating unless you want food spit all over the place." Sarah laughed. "And for the record, I was talking about you using gram's tea set. I would be too afraid to. Not to say that I'm having easy time believing the rest of it either."
"That is the reason she gave it to me and not you. She knew you would never use it like it should be used. I pull it out every week when mom comes over. I wonder^Å"
"If that will continue?" Sarah asked reading her sister's thoughts. "Emily, I wouldn't count on it. Not for a while." Sarah said as soothingly as possible.
"I figured as much. You say that like you know something I don't though." Emily said looking up at her sister.
"I do. Let's just leave it at that for now." Sarah smiled at her sister. "I'm dying to know more about this whole thing. You said that you've fought these feelings since before college. I want to know more. How long? Did you have a crush on any of our friends? Spill." Sarah said enthusiastically as she sat down as the table.
Emily couldn't help but share in her sister's excitement. She had wanted to talk to her about everything for years now and now she was finally having the chance. It meant the world to her that her sister was actually interested. Emily carefully carried the tray, full of antique china, a plate of biscuits and jam, to the table.
"You know that Collin will be back in a bit with food, right?"
"Leave me be, I'm pregnant and hungry. Plus, gram always said tea wasn't tea with out biscuits..."
"^Åand good conversation with a good friend." Sarah said with a laugh. "She was right too." She said taking a biscuit. "Now quit stalling and spill."
Emily took a drink of her all too hot tea and gasp. "Okay. Well were to begin? 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said, very gravely, " Emily laughed, using her mock king voice, "'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.' Great time to be quoting Lewis Caroll."
Sarah looked at her sister, trying not to laugh. "What?" Emily asked puzzled. Her impression wasn't that bad. Sarah started hysterically laughing. "What?!?" Emily asked impatiently, wanting to be let in on what ever this joke was.
"You. You and Alexis. You two were made for each other. Too damn cute."
"Would you please tell me what the hell you are talking about?" Emily said, becoming more than a little annoyed at her sisters antics.
"Yes, yes. I'm sorry." She said sobering a little. "It's just that^Å well you and Alexis used the exact same quote in the very same night. Of course neither of you knew that the other one was going to say it. You were passed out upstairs earlier when she said the king thing it and now you are using it. And it's just too cute. You two fit."
Emily smiled. "Well, I am glad to hear that you approve."
Sarah smiled and nodded. "I do. Emily, I've never seen you so happy. Even with all that's gone on, you look tired, but you also look happy. And that's a good thing. As long as you are happy that is all that matters. That and my niece and nephew. Speaking of which, which do you think this one is going to be?" Sarah asked pointing at her sister's belly.
Emily instinctively wrapped her arms around her stomach. "I don't know. I think it might be a girl but I could be wrong. A little soon to tell I think"
"I can't wait till you get big again. You make such a cute pregnant woman. Not all girls can pull that look off but you do every time."
"Yeah well enjoy it while you can cause this will be the last one for me."
"How did Alexis take it when you told her? I'm assuming well."
Emily's face dropped as she thought of Alexis's first reaction to the news. "I think I really hurt her when I first told her. We'd been together two months the night I found out. And I guess I don't really blame her for thinking that^Å She's never been around anyone who is pregnant before so she really wouldn't know that most women don't have the signs at first. But it hurt. She pulled away from me and of course, I started crying. I think that hit her hard, seeing me cry." Emily started to smile a little bit. "And then I woke up in the morning and I could have swore someone slipped Lexie some happy pills while we were sleeping. She was like bouncing off the walls she was so happy. Like a total 360."
"Why do you think that is?" Sarah asked.
"She never thought that she'd have kids. She loves Brant and Piper. You should see the three of them together. It's so cute. She told me she thought bout it while I had been sleeping and she couldn't find a down side to having a child with me. Even if it isn't hers by blood she wants to help raise him. She missed all the baby years with the other two. They are all independent and head strong already."
"Speaking of which, how are you going to handle all of this with the kids? What are you planning on telling them?"
"About the baby or Alexis? They call her Aunt Lexie and I think that is fine for now. When they are old enough we will explain everything to them but until then, she is my best friend who stays here to help me out with them and bills and such. Not that I think they will be asking any time soon. As for the new baby, we still haven't talked to the kids about him yet. I guess we will tell them that they have a new sister or brother coming."
"Brother." Sarah said smiling.
"Brother?"
"You keep referring to the baby in the male form. He' him' You've done it a few times now. You don't even realize it. You've done it with the other two kids the same way. You always were right. You're subconscious must be trying to tell you something. I will bet you ten to one that that baby is a boy."
Emily looked at her stomach and smiled. Even if it was from horrible circumstances, she would love this baby with all her heart. "Amber Wesson."
"Huh?" Sarah asked. "Why would you name a kid that?"
Emily laughed and looked up at her sister. "You asked who I had a crush on in school. There were many but the main one was the high school softball couch. The one who taught eighth grade Math. Oh fuck was she hot." Emily said with a laugh.
"I remember her. She was very athletic. Had played pro till she messed up her hair. Dark brown hair, kinky curly, but beautiful in that way."
"Oh god yeah, I had many dreams with her in them." Emily blushed. "I kissed her."
"You did WHAT?!?!" Sarah asked choking on her tea.
"I was young and stupid. I was working with her after class. Making up work from one of the many days I skipped."
"Yeah I remember those."
"Yeah, well, shut up. I said that I was young and stupid. Anyway, she was leaning really close to me, helping me go over a problem. She had her chair real close to my desk and had her leg propped up with ice on her knee. So in order for her to help me out, she had to lean into me a bit. I had had a crush on her from the first day in class. She looked up at me, I think waiting on me to answer something she had asked me, and I couldn't stop my self. I kissed her. I think I caught her off guard because before she was able to lean back and stop me, she parted her lips. I got a full on kiss from her."
"Oh god. I can't believe you never told me that before."
"I can't believe I am telling you now. That was one of the most embarrassing days of my life."
"Why? What happened after that?"
"Nothing. She was very understanding about the whole thing. She even went as far as to apologize for kissing me back."
"So tell, was it good?"
"I've only kissed one person who kissed better than she did and she's asleep upstairs. Every kiss after that one was a utterly complete disappointment." Emily said with a laugh, then sobered up and continued. "That kiss left me even more confused. Mrs. Wesson became my sort of confidant. She was the only person who knew about me. Even after she left the school, we kept in contact for a bit. Wonder what ever happened to her."
"Why do you say that kiss left you more confused?"
"We had always been taught how wrong it was. Even with Bobby being gay, it was still drilled into us how wrong it was. You know that. That and every time that I tried I was shut down. The two times I had tried kissing a girl I was told how wrong it was, how it wasn't something that was done. Every where I turned I was being told how wrong it was. So I knew that there had to be something wrong with me. I couldn't tell you guys. You and Bobby where my best friends and I couldn't tell you because I was afraid of how you would look at me. So I did what I thought I had to. I found someone who made me laugh and thought that it would be enough to make a life out of. I was wrong. God, was I so terribly wrong."
"Emily, why? Why didn't you ever say anything. I knew for years that you weren't happy but I never thought that it was anything like this. You've been carrying this around for years and I'm your sister I should have known, I should have seen it. How could I be so blind?" Sarah asked more to herself than to her sister. "I've been out of school for years now. I'm a trainer professional. I should have seen it. But I didn't. I'm sorry. I should have been the person to be there for you and I wasn't." Sarah looked down at her cup of tea, that had long since went cold.
"There is nothing to be forgiven, Sarah. I had lied to myself for so long that even I began to believe it. There was no way that you could have know." Emily said reaching over to take her sisters hand.
"What was is that made you decide to leave the lie behind?" Sarah asked looking up at her.
"Her." Emily said with a smile. "I was blown away by her. Every thing about her. Her beauty was the thing that first perked my interest, but it was everything. The way she approached me that first day, the easiness I felt when talking to her, the smile that not only crossed her face but filled her eyes. Oh god Sarah, I tried not to fall for her. I did." She felt Sarah squeeze her hand.
"Why sweetie? If you were obviously so into her, why try fighting it?"
"Cause I was married^Å hell I still am married. I was still afraid of what all would be said and how you guys would react. I knew it'd be bad, but never like this^Å" Emily's voice trailed off as her eyes filled with tears again.
"What are you feeling right now?" Sarah asked soothingly.
"I don't need you to be my head shrink right now, I just need you to be my sister." Emily said taking a deep breath. "Tell me."
"I will tell you anything I can, sweetie. What is it?"
"Tell me what they said when you walked out of the bathroom tonight." Emily said, staring into her sister's eyes.
Sarah released Emily's hand and looked away from her gaze. "I will tell you anything you want^Å anything but that."
"I'd like to know too, hon." Collin said, making both the women at the table jump out of their skin. "Sorry." He added with a chuckle. "Didn't mean to scare you. I come bearing food." He said placing bags on the island, the aroma of hot fresh Chinese food enveloping them. After filling their plates, the three of them settled around the table and began to dive in. It had been hours since they'd abruptly left their parents house half fed and it showed.
"Now, my love, back to the conversation the two of you started when I walked in." Collin said, wiping his mouth with his napkin, he leaned back.
"There was no conversation, not then, not now. Collin drop it." Sarah said forcefully. Collin threw his hands up in defeat.
"They told you if you sided with me that you weren't welcome in their house either, didn't they?" Emily said looking over at her sister. She could see the pain in her eyes before but the look that she gave Emily with that statement confirmed it.
"They didn't say anything." Sarah said, pushing the last bits of rice and sesame seed chicken around her plate.
"Do not lie to me Sarah. We've always been honest with each other." Emily said, glaring at her sister.
"No. I have always been honest. You have been living a lie your entire life." Sarah snapped. "Oh god, Em. I'm sorry." Sarah said dropping her fork on her plate as she looked in her sisters pained eyes. "It just came out. Forgive me?"
Emily sighed. Sarah was right.
Just want to say hi to all those who have stuck in with me thus far. Thank you for all the encouragement and smiles I can always use more. Life will be crazy here the next few months but I will try my hardest to get more out to you all soon. Thanks to all those who have wrote me and became the friends I now have. You all know who you are. smiles and waves Until next time, Amanda
"You'll never know what is out there if you never step out your front door."