First and fore most this is a love story. It is a story that does contain sexual acts between two females. If this offends you then don't read it. If you are not 18, or whatever the age maybe where you're from, then please don't read it. If you just don't like the idea of love between two ladies, go somewhere else. Don't read it. The characters are not real. Any similarities are just that.
I just want to thank everyone who has stayed with the story this far. I would also like to thank those who have written me telling me how much they have enjoyed it. You all are the reason I continue to write. For those who haven't written yet. Please do so. I could always use that much more encouragement and I love talking to new people. I have met some interesting people along the way and hope to talk to many more.
As always, enjoy.
Amanda
upside_umop_insideout
Chapter 21
Answers
Sarah and Collin both smiled. "I should have expected that. Your mother loved that saying." Sarah said with a distant look in her eyes.
"Our mothers." Piper corrected.
Sarah's smile faded. "I remember the first time that I met Alexis. I didn't know about her and your mother at the time, but I knew there was something special about her. I was right. God, I still can't believe... no that's not true. Your mother and Alex loved each other so much. It really doesn't surprise me that all these many years later they are still together. I wish I could have been there." Sarah shook her head sadly.
"Then why weren't you?" Sarah looked up at Brant. The sound of the pain that filled his voice cut her to the core.
"Because I thought that I could take on the world by myself and failed. Not just failed but I failed miserably. I couldn't take the idea of your mother finding that out."
Collin took Sarah's hand into his own. "Sarah, tell them what happened. It's not that bad. You just... you made a mountain out of a mole hill and it's destroyed our families for way too long." Sarah looked down at their clasped hands and nodded.
"Collin never wanted to leave. He always thought that I should tell your mothers what was going on. I didn't have the courage to. You guys were all so happy. I didn't want to ruin that."
"But you did Sarah. When you left, it almost killed our mom. She couldn't believe what you had done, that you had turned your back on her. After everything that you guys had been through you left her hanging in the wind." Piper said trying to keep the tears from her voice.
"It wasn't like that. It never was. I wish that I could have taken the time to make her understand that."
"We're right here, Sarah. Make us understand. Tell us what happened." Brant pleaded.
"'Begin at the beginning' I guess the beginning of all of this started right before Mark left your mother. Things with your grandparents were finally on steady grounds but your grandfather wanted us to give him more grand children. I don't know if he sensed that a change was coming or what. He knew that Bobby would never give him what he wanted, so he turned to us. Even before the two of you were born he was on us to have kids. And we tried, god did we try." Sarah said looking over at Collin, who nodded for her to continue. "It was a few days after the fight with our parents that I found out that not only could I not get pregnant, but I also had stage-three cancer. I couldn't tell your mother. She was in so much pain. Then with Alexis in the hospital fighting for her life, I kept putting off telling her. Alexis got better and they got the funding for Emily's place. Sora was born. It hurt so bad watching your mother with Alexis and Sora. It didn't bother me when she had the two of you because I always knew that my turn was just around the corner. I couldn't look at your mother and tell her that I was never going to have children, much less to look her in the eye and tell her I was dying. It was just never the right time to say anything. I found a hospital not too far from here who would allow me to teach in return for medical treatments. I couldn't turn down the offer."
"So you got better. I mean, look at you. You had to get better and what about them?" Piper motioned towards the bedroom. "Your story doesn't add up. AJ looks just like Sora. It doesn't make any sense. You should have said something. You should have come back. Hell, you could have called or something! Anything! Anything would have been better than nothing." Piper yelled.
"Pipe, the kids." Brant said trying to get her to quiet down. Piper looked towards the darkened bedroom.
"What about them?" Piper asked, quieter but still holding its edge.
"I can't explain how or why AJ looks like your brother. Or why Rae has your hair. I don't know. We adopted Rae when she was fifteen months old. AJ we've had since birth. His mother signed him over to us when he was only a few minutes old." Sarah said. "They don't know. We haven't decided when we will tell them, but for now, there is no need to."
"Why didn't you ever call? Why didn't you try to get in contact with us?" Brant asked sitting forward in his seat.
"The first three or four years were the hardest. I was so sick due to the radiation and chemo they had me on. I had lost all of my hair. I was skin and bone. I would go into remission only to come back six months later and find that I had cancer again. I didn't think that I would live through it. After that, I lived in fear that it would come back. I didn't want my sister to see me like that. And there was my pride. I couldn't admit to myself that I was wrong. I kept telling myself that Emily was better off, that all of you were better off. I didn't think that she would ever forgive me. I mean... I'm telling you why I left and everything I say sounds shallow and just so god damn stupid in my own ears, why would she listen?"
"Because she's your sister and she loves you, that alone would forgive everything." Piper said, looking over at her brother. She silently begged him to forgive her for the previous night. He gave her a small shrug and she saw the corners of his mouth curl into a smile. She knew she wasn't off the hook, but at least she didn't have to worry about him hating her.
Sarah shook her head sadly. "I don't know if it would, Piper. I just don't know. And even if it would... that's Emily. She's blood. What about Alexis? How can I look at her and ask for her forgiveness. Your mother isn't the only one I hurt."
"You're right. You have to think of this though," Piper said leaning forward in her seat, her elbows on her knees. "Lex is the one that made sure that we got here. She wants answers just as much as we do. I am sure that you are going to have to go into a lot more detail with them and tell them the full story, not the edited version you've gave us."
Sarah started to protest but Collin stopped her. "You know that she is right."
"I'm not going to say that they won't be hurt and I know that they will be angry, but look around this room. The people here, and mom and Sora and Lexie, that's all the family that any of us have and we have to get past this."
"There is more." Collin said.
"To the story? Yeah, I kind of figured as much." Piper said, sitting back with a huff.
"No, there is more family. We aren't the only ones that want to make amends."
"This is strange, not having the kids around." Emily said as she sat down in her recliner with a mug full of tea.
"I know. It's too quiet. Is this what it's going to be like once they are all grown up and move away?" Alexis said, pushing her reading glasses to the top of her head.
"Oh I don't even want to think about that." Emily said with an exaggerated sigh.
Alexis looked around the family room. It was one of her favorite places in the house. It was full of memories. She remembered when they had first built this house. She wanted everything to be perfect and as things do, nothing went right. But this was the one room that they had done together. It drove the contractor and the decorator but Mr. Matheis insisted that if he was paying for this insane project that it would be exactly like Emily and Alexis wanted it. And this room was exactly as they wanted it. It was their room through and through. The walls were covered in a collage of black and white photos of the kids through out the years, the ones scattered on tables and the mantle. Emily loved the way that black and white photos looked. The walls where painted a light sky blue. The kids were so happy when they were allowed to pick out the color of the walls. They had a blast "helping" paint.
There was a shelf that Brant and Alex had made when he was seven or eight years old that held pieces of this and that the kids made. There was the mantel that Emily insisted on having put in.
Alexis looked over at her love and smiled evilly. "Sweetie, would you mind getting us some more tea?" Alexis asked sweetly.
Emily looked over at her. "Why can't you?"
"There is something that I need to take care of." Alexis said the look in her eyes shut Emily up almost instantly.
"Alright, if you say so." Emily said, standing and taking Alexis mug from her. As soon as she was out of sight, Alexis went to work.
When Emily returned with their tea a few minutes later, she couldn't believe what she saw. There in the middle of the room stood Alexis, dressed in only her lacy panties and bra. The fire lit her fit body from behind, making her smile barely noticeable in the darkness of her silhouette. The room was dark other than the glow of the fire and an occasional flicker of candle light.
"What is all of this?" Emily said softly as she sat down the full mugs on the coffee table that had been pushed to the side of the room.
"It's been far too long since we've had a quiet, romantic, night." Alexis said, pulling Emily into her arms.
"But what about Sora?" Emily protested half heartedly. Alexis giggled and pointed at his old baby monitor. "You didn't?" Emily chuckled as Alexis' eyes twinkled with mischief.
"What? He's still my baby? Plus," Alexis said pulling Emily close and kissing her softly. "If he gets up we will know it."
"So how long have you been planning this?" Emily asked kissing her back.
"Oh, I say all of ten minutes." Alexis smiled at Emily as she stood back. "I think you have on way too many clothes. Why don't you get a little more comfortable and come lay here with me."
Emily shook her head and began to unbutton her shirt as she heard the sound of pure honey dripping from her lover's voice.
"When I had laid it on the floor
I went to blow the fire a-flame,
But something rustled on the floor,
And some one called me by my name:
It had become a glimmering girl
With apple blossom in her hair
Who called me by my name and ran
And faded through the brightening air."
Emily felt the tears roll down her face as she listened to Alexis repeat the poem that she had once read over and over to her.
"Why the tears?" Alexis asked, crawling on her knees over to Emily.
"I just, I guess some times I forget how lucky I am." Emily said with a chuckle as she wiped her tears.
"Come on. Get comfy and come sit with me. We haven't done this in ages. I want to sit with you in my arms and read all this mushy poetry to you and kiss you and never let you go." Alexis said, sitting back on her haunches as she watched Emily smile and nod.
"That sounds wonderful." Emily stripped down and curled up to Alexis on the pile of blankets she had laid down and took the book that Alexis held in her hands and began to thumb through it.
"Your smile awakens my soul,
As the sun awakens the day.
A kiss and my life is yours,
It seems a fair price to pay.
Your touch arouses my senses,
As the moon arouses the night.
Hold me and win me forever,
In your arms all things are right.
Your heart endures all emotion,
As the sky endures all the stars.
Love me and we'll have eternity,
There is no greater love than ours."
Emily's voice was full of emotion as she read the words from the book, each one coming from her heart.
"That was beautiful." Alexis asked, her voice threatening to give out on her.
"I wish I could take credit. That was Randall Drymen."
Alexis took the book back and rolled over on to her stomach. "You know that there was a poem that I used to read before we got together that reminded me of you. I still read it from time to time and think of you."
"Really, you never told me that." Emily said, lying on her back next to Alexis.
"Yeah, well." Alexis said giving Emily a breath taking smile. "Ah, here it is."
Emily laughed as she looked over. "That page is a little worn out, sweetie."
"Let's just say that I've read it more than a few times."
"Well, are you going to read it to me?" Emily asked looking up at Alexis. She watched Alexis take a deep breath.
"My secret in silence
You came into my life
quietly, simply, placidly
and my words stood still...
I couldn't express in words
or even in simple gestures
the secret I kept in my heart.
So I loved you in silence,
admired you from a distance,
dreamt of you from afar.
I wanted to say I love you...
I wanted to say I care.
But cowardly, maybe, you'll only laugh at me.
In silence then I will love you...
in silence then I will care...
Lorelei Pablo"
Emily smiled softly. "I guess I can see why that page is so worn out." She wrapped her arms around Alexis' neck and brought her mouth down to meet her own. "I love you Alexis."
"I love you too, Emily." Alexis sighed into Emily's mouth. Their kisses became more and more passionate. Alexis moaned into Emily's mouth as Emily's tongue battled against her own for control.
"I need you." Emily gasped as she pulled Alexis' body on top of her own. A moan came to her lips as Alexis' knee pressed against her throbbing clit. "Alexis." Emily sighed as she wrapped her arms around her lover's back and ground her pussy into her sculpted thigh.
"There you go." Alexis coaxed as Emily pushed her self against Alexis again and again. Alex matched her move for move.
"So?" Brant said as he turned to his sister.
"So what?" Piper looked at her brother confused.
"I'm not really sure that I want to do this." Brant stated.
"It's a little late for that. We are almost there now." Piper and her brother sat in the back seats of the large SUV. Their cousins sat securely buckled in, in front of them. Sarah and Collin sat in the front seat, passing each other nervous glances.
"Yeah, it's just, well, this is our grandmother. I'm the oldest and I can't remember her. All I know is that she didn't stand up for mom or Alex. She didn't fight for her own flesh and blood." Brant said quietly.
"What are you guys talking about?" Rae asked as she twisted in her seat. Piper smiled at her. She was taken by how much her adopted cousin looked liked her. It still amazed her seeing as Piper herself looked so unlike anyone else in her blood family. She had Sarah's eyes and nose but her coloring was so different from the rest of her family. She was so dark compared to her brothers who were blonde and blue eyed.
"Nothing sweetie." Piper said with a smile. She was surprised by how quickly she had fallen in love with her new found family. Looking into Rae's big brown eyes she thought that it really wasn't a surprise. How could anyone not love those big brown puppy dog eyes?
"Well, I heard you talking." Rae said her face full of curiosity.
"We were talking about how cute you are." Piper said with a smile.
"I don't believe you but you are cute too." Rae said smiling back as she turned around in her seat.
"She's too cute." Brant said, smiling.
Piper's smile faded as they started to talk again. "I know what you are saying Brant and that's part of the reason that I want to do this. I guess you could stay in the car but I have a lot of questions and there are a lot of things to be answered. You might be out here a while."
Brant sat quietly in thought. Piper waited patiently. It was probably the only time she ever was patient. She was used to her brother thinking things through before speaking. When he turned to her she knew that he was ready to talk.
"I don't know if I can forgive them." Brant said his eyes full of sadness.
Piper reached out and took his hand. "We will find a way through this. I know its going to take time. I am not ready to forgive them either. Maybe," Piper hesitated and looked up at Sarah. She noticed that Sarah was watching them and gave her a half smile. "Maybe mom can find a way to forgive them and that will make it easier on us." Brant nodded and turned to watch the last few miles fade away in a blur. He never let go of his sister's hand.
"We're here." Collin said as they drove up a long shaded drive way. Every where that Piper looked there were trees and luscious green grass. The house set back off of the road in a little meadow. Fifty yards in any direction from the house was a lush green forest, teeming with birds and wild life. Even in the middle of the day, Piper could see deer and rabbits scurrying through the under brush. The house was nothing more than a beautiful old cottage, white washed with a wrap around front porch. Piper guessed from looking at the size of it that it could be no more than two rooms in size, with a nice living room and kitchen.
"She lives all the way out here alone?" Brant asked, giving his sister's hand one final squeeze before letting it go.
Sarah turned in her seat to look at them. "AJ, Rae, why don't you run in and tell grandmother that we're here." The look that she gave Piper and Brant told them that there was something that she wanted to tell them with out the kids hearing. Brant and Piper smiled as their cousins unbuckled their seat belts and flew from the car.
"Mom doesn't live here by herself." Sarah stated quietly.
Brant shot Piper a nervous glance and it hit Piper why Sarah kept looking over at Collin like that while they drove.
"I hope you can forgive us for deceiving you." Collin said, his hands still gripped the steering wheel and his eyes never left the drive in front of them.
"What did you do?" Brant asked, his voice holding a steel edge.
"Mom doesn't live here alone." Sarah repeated.
"Yea, you said that already. You want to explain." Brant snapped. Piper rarely saw her brother angry and right now he was very angry. His hands clinched into tight fist and his nostrils flared.
"Brant? Calm down." Piper said, reaching for her brother's arm, for once being the calming one.
"He's here." Brant said, his eyes flashing anger and hate as he turned them on her.
"I don't understand." Piper said. Shaking her head she turned to look at her aunt questioningly.
Sarah's eyes were full of sadness, silently begging forgiveness. In that moment, Piper realized what Brant had figured out in mere seconds.
"How could you Sarah? How could you bring us here knowing that the man who ruined our family would be here?" Piper said her heart breaking. She had trusted her aunt. She had never felt so betrayed in her entire life.
"You wanted answers. You both wanted answers." Sarah said softly, a single tear falling down her face. "The only way to get them is to talk to him. Talk to Bobby, he wants to talk to you, to explain, to apologize. Please, please give him that chance." Sarah pleaded. Brant closed his eyes trying to block out the sadness that filled his aunt's eyes but he couldn't stop himself.
"I can't do this." Brant said, reaching for the door. "I'm sorry." He said, his anger giving away to sadness as he looked at his aunt and stepped from the car. Piper watched quietly as he walked across the grass towards the woods. She sat watching until he was swallowed by the thick forest, silently praying that he would be okay. Collin and Sarah sat in the front seat, neither of them saying a word as Piper came to the decision only she could make.
Piper looked up to the house and saw the splitting image of her mother. Her hair was whiter and her skin a little more wrinkled, but she could see her mother standing there. Her grandmother watched patiently, staring across the yard into the fully tinted SUV windows. Even as far as she was from the car, Piper could see how nervous and excited she was. They had came this far and as much as she didn't want to face her uncle, she wanted answers more.
"What do I call her?" Piper asked quietly. "She is not my grandma. She gave up that right."
Sarah nodded as she too watched her mother. "You can call her Mrs. Thompson or Barbra."
"Mrs. Thompson will do fine." Piper said as she leaned forward and hit the button to move the seat out of her way. She looked at Collin and Sarah and they followed suit, reaching for their door handles.
"I really do hope you can forgive me. It was the only way to get you here." Sarah said, giving here niece one last look before stepping from the car.
Piper stood back as she watched Sarah and Collin give her grandmother a hug and exchange hellos.
"Brant?" Mrs. Thompson asked quietly, holding here daughter by her shoulders. Sarah shook her head sadly and looked off towards the forest. Mrs. Thompson nodded her understanding.
"You must be Piper." Mrs. Thompson said, stepping forward with her arms open. Piper stepped awkwardly into her embrace. "It's been too long." Mrs. Thompson said as she squeezed Piper tightly. "Well, let me get a good look at you." She said, bringing Piper back at arms length. Her grandmother stared at her. "My god, Sarah, you're right. The resemblance is amazing."
Piper looked over at Sarah questioningly. "Looking at you is like looking into the face of your second mother. You're beautiful." Sarah explained. Piper's face grew red and a smile spread across her face.
"Well, we have a lot of catching up to do. Would you like to come in?" Mrs. Thompson asked her arm still draped over Piper's shoulder.
Piper looked at her aunt and uncle who nodded reassuringly. "Actually I was wondering if we could sit outside. It's such a nice day I would hate to waste it inside." There was a lot of truth to Piper's statement but she was also afraid of the feeling of being trapped in the small house surrounded by people who she didn't know but knew her. As much as she knew that she needed to talk to both her grandmother and her uncle, she couldn't face them both at the same time. She wished her brother would have stuck around, not that she really blamed him for taking off. A big part of her wanted to run right now.
Mrs. Thompson smiled at her sweetly. "You are so much like your mother." She said with a chuckle.
"Which one?" Piper asked seriously. She smiled inwardly as her grandmother's smile fell.
"Regretfully, I never got the chance to get to know Alexis. That is something that I will never forgive myself for." Piper saw the sincerity in her eyes and kicked herself. She wasn't here to rub the past in but to find out about it.
"I'm sorry. That was spiteful of me."
Barbra pulled her granddaughter into her giving her a one armed hug. "Baby, don't worry about it. There is a lot that I have to make up for. I know that this can't be easy on you. I think you and your brother are both very courageous making this trip. I only wish that you could have convinced your mother to come."
Piper looked over at her aunt. From the look in her eyes she could tell that she had not told her grandmother the truth about their trip.
"Mrs. Thompson, my mother doesn't know we are here."
She watched the older woman shake her head. "Sarah didn't tell me." She looked over at her daughter who just shrugged in response. "Well, Sarah, why don't you show this lovely girl to the picnic table? I'll be out with drinks in a few minutes."
"Mrs. Thompson, is it okay if I talk to just you?"
"Please call me Barbra and I think that is fine."
"Collin and I will take the kids down to the lake." Sarah told her mother. "Piper, if you want to come with me." Barbra dropped her arm from Piper's shoulder and smiled as she opened the screen door to her house.
"Meet you out there."
Piper took in the beautiful area as the walked around the house. A detached garage set a few feet from the main house. Along the sides grew climbing roses of every color. The yard in the back of the house slopped down wards into the forest. Sarah told her as they walked that just beyond the trees laid a small lake. She told her that in the summer they would take their boat out on the lake and spend hours on end fishing. That is where both of her kids learned to swim. Piper sat at the table with Sarah watching the kids run around the yard, carefree. She wished yet again that she had known her family growing up. She dreamt of what it would have been like spending long lazy summer days at the lake with her family. She longed for what could have been.
"I hope you like iced tea." Her grandmother said as she came down from the house carrying a tray with a picture of tea and two glasses filled with ice.
"That's just fine."
"So tell me a little about yourself." Barbra said as she sat down across from her granddaughter.
"I don't know what to tell."
"Well, what kind of things do you like to do? It been years since I've been around a teenager. You're what, fifteen?" Piper nodded as she took a drink of her tea.
Piper choked as she swallowed. Southern sweet tea.
"Are you alright, hon?" Her grand mother asked looking stunned.
"I wasn't expecting sweet tea, ma'am. I thought mom was the only one in the top half of this country that made sweet tea like that." Piper said with a laugh as she wiped the drool from her mouth.
"Where do you think she learned it from? My momma was a down south honest to goodness southern belle." Piper enjoyed the sound of her grandmother's laugh. It was soothing and she realized that it instantly put her at ease.
"Mom told me a little bit about that." Piper said taking a long drink of her tea, this time enjoying it.
"So you wanted to know about me?"
"Anything you'd like to tell."
Piper and her grandmother sat around talking about things for the next hour or so, skirting around the subject that brought them together. Just as Piper was ready to get to the point she saw her brother, looking much calmer, walk from the woods.
"Barbra, can you give me just a minute?" Piper asked softly. Barbra followed her line of vision and nodded silently. Piper stood up and followed the path to where her brother had come to the stop at the edge of the clearing.
"You okay?" Brant asked, looking sheepishly down at the dirt he was pushing with his feet.
"I'm fine. Brant, why don't you come talk with us? I was just getting to the big questions."
Brant's eyes shot up at her. "You mean I've been gone almost an hour and you haven't gotten anywhere?" He asked shocked.
"I was getting there Brant. I'm sorry. This shit scares me. It's easier for me get to know them a little bit. I can't just jump in their face and ask why the hell they turned their backs on us. I just can't do that. I'm not you!" Piper was yelling by the time she was through. She couldn't stand the look on her brother's face, the look of anger and disbelief.
"Why would you want to know anything about the people who hurt our family so bad? I can understand befriending Sarah. We needed her to complete the puzzle, to introduce us to her and him." He said throwing his head in the direction of their grandmother and the house where they assumed their uncle sat in waiting.
"Brant?!? I can't believe you. This can't be you or how you really think. I'm not ready to forgive them for what they did but I am not just using them. I really do want to get to know them. They are people and people make mistakes. People hurt each other. Every one deserves a second chance. Brant, you are always the one who has told me that. I love you Brant, but I don't think I like this side of you." Piper looked at her brother concerned. Brant's shoulders dropped and he looked so defeated.
"I'm sorry Piper, you're right. This isn't me. This is just taking a lot more out of me than I thought it would. I'm sorry but I still can't come over. I saw that Sarah and Collin and the kids were down at the lake. I think I am going to join then and try to get my head clear. I have my cell. Call me when you are done." Piper nodded and watched her usually strong and tall brother slink away. He seemed so small and fragile. As she watched him walk away she was reminded of Brant when he was little and had fallen off of his bike. He tried so hard to keep a brave face as the blood trickled down his leg but in the end he lost it. Piper knew that he was on the edge of losing it. It was time for them to go home soon. After today, after she got the answers that they both so desperately needed.
"I'm sorry about that." Piper said as she took her seat across from her grandmother.
"Don't be. Is he okay?" Piper looked up at the sound of genuine concern in her voice.
"Once we get home he will be. Brant may look big and tough, but he's not. He's quiet, a thinker. It takes a lot out of him doing this. He didn't even want to do this but after he was woke-up by mom's nightmares he decided it was time."
"She had a nightmare?" Barbra asked confused.
"Nightmares, plural, I guess they started about six months ago or so. I was up late one night when I heard this scream. It was so horrifying. I got up and ran to my mom's bedroom door. This was before we 'knew' that mom and Alex were together. So when I heard Alexis' voice comforting mom I knew it would be okay. Sure enough, Alex got her calmed down. It was a few weeks before I was woke up to that same scream. The nightmares have been getting closer and closer."
Barbra shook her head and looked at her hands folded on the table. "Do you know what they are about? And what did you mean you didn't know about Alexis and your mother?" Barbra asked, bringing her eyes up to Piper's. Piper noted the fear that filled them.
"We had all known for a few years that mom and Alexis where more than just friends. But mom wanted to protect us so we played along and let her. Brant walked in on them kissing a month or two ago. Mom freaked out and had a holy shit fit. She didn't know that knew. That's when they sat down and told us their story. Well, their side of it anyway. I knew then that I wanted to find you all, find out the truth of what really happened. Try to repair our broken family. Alexis told me that it wasn't the right time. So I waited. I tried talking to Brant about it but he said the same thing. So my girlfriend and I started doing our own research."
"Wait, girlfriend? Do you mean a friend who is a girl or a girl that you are dating?" Barbra asked. Piper felt her temper begin to flair until she saw that her grandmother honestly wanted to know.
"She is a girl I am dating."
Piper watched her grandmother nod. "So you are like your mother then?" She asked with a small smile.
Piper smiled and shrugged. "I guess I am a lot more like her than I would like to admit. And if you ever tell her that I will have to hurt you." Piper said shaking her finger at her grandmother.
"She'd have to forgive me enough to talk to me first." Barbra said, the smile falling from her face.
Piper reached out and squeezed her grandmother's collapsed hands. "Tell me what happened?"
"Your mother was your grandfather's pride and joy. He was so proud of her for going back to school. He loved Sarah and Bobby but when it came down to it your mother was his favorite. He adored you kids and Mark. He looked at Mark as if he was a second son and wanted him to one day take over the family business. Eric took it hard enough when Bobby came out. When your mom told us that night, he lost it. I had never seen anyone that angry before. Truthfully, I instantly fell in love with Alexis for being there for your mother. You should have seen her. She stormed in the house and I swear before she had a chance to do anything she made sure your mother was okay. She tried to be respectful, tried to explain but Eric wouldn't have it." Piper watched her grandmother shutter. "I should have stood up to him. I should have found a way to get him to calm down. But I was afraid." Piper could look at her and see just how serious she was. After all these years, Barbra was still scared. "I tried talking to him, so many times; I tried to talk to him. He refused to let me see your mother or even you kids. I actually went as far as to leave him. I just couldn't stay away. We had been together for so many years. I didn't know how to live without him." Tears that had been gathering in her eyes spilled over and ran down her cheeks. "In one night, I had lost everything, all because I didn't have the nerve to stand up to him." Barbra sobbed into her hands. Piper stood up and walked around the table and pulled the older woman into her arms, trying to comfort her.
"You can't take all the blame for this."
Barbra shook her head. "I can take enough of it. I mean, look at you. You are all grown up and I don't even know you. You have a little brother that I have never even met. That is my fault."
"So start now. Make amends. We will be flying home soon. Come with us. Come meet him. Tell mom that you are sorry." Barbra pulled back from her granddaughter's embrace.
"I can't. Don't get me wrong I want to but I can't. Your uncle needs me." She said looking down at the table.
"What do you mean?"
"Your uncle is sick, really sick."
"Mom's dreams..."
"...were right. She always did know when something was wrong."
"What is it? What's wrong with him?"
Barbra looked up at the house. "You might as well know. You'll see for yourself soon enough. Bobby is in the advanced stages of AIDS."
Piper squeezed her eyes shut. This was just too much. "After everything, after your mom and Alex and Eric, Bobby took off. He took everything very hard. He blamed himself for our family falling apart. It was five years before we found him. We got a call from the police. He was so strung out on drugs. I didn't even recognize him when we picked him up. He had lost so much weight. Those five years did a number on him." Barbra said so quietly that Piper had to strain to hear her.
"I.... I don't even know what to say. Mom will never forgive herself. I..." Piper shook her head. She knew that there would be a lot that she didn't want to know but this was almost more than she could handle.
"Would you like to meet him?" Barbra turned her sad eyes to Piper's. "He's been waiting."
Piper shook her head. "I don't know. I don't know if I can. He caused my moms so much pain. I hate that he is sick but..."
Barbra nodded her understanding. "It's okay. You don't have to."
Piper sat in silence for a few minutes. "I need to for mom." Piper said. "Give me a minute." Piper took a deep breath and steadied herself, squaring her shoulders.
Her grandmother gave a small sad laugh. "You really are so much like your mother."
Piper smiled back. "I guess that's not such a bad thing."
"You're right. Your mother was a terrific woman." Piper smiled and nodded. "Are you ready?"
Piper gave a small nod and stood up. Piper was surprised to find her knees shaky as she stood up. It was hard enough to face him under normal circumstances. Knowing that he was dying just made it worse. Half way up the hill Piper stopped, trying to get her nerves under control.
"You don't have to do this, Piper." Her grandmother said softly, placing her hand on the small of Piper's back.
Piper looked over at the older woman that reminded her so much of her mother. She had the same deep eyes same sweet smile. She thought about all her mother had been through and how hard her life was already. This wouldn't be easy for her but Piper knew that if here mother waited until Bobby passed she would never forgive herself. Piper had to work to make this happen and had to do it sooner rather than later.
"Yes, I do." Piper said this time with conviction.
"Alright." Barbra said with a smile, taking the lead up to the house. Piper stopped at the door for just a second before walking inside. The room was brighter than she expected. It was beautifully decorated with a very homey feel to it. It was the smell that got to her. The small house had a smell of antiseptic clean. The same smell you would find in a hospital. The house was immaculately clean. Even the air seemed cleaner than most normal homes. Piper looked around the room quietly. Had it not been for a pair of shiny eyes watching her with amusement, her gaze would have swept right over the man that had caused so many problems. Try as she might, she couldn't hold on to the anger she'd felt since she first heard about the past. Bobby's blonde hair was thinning and almost white. The skin that covered his face was taunt, pulled tight over his cheek bones. His eyes, though sunken and surrounded by dark circles, were bright and shining in the sun light.
"Piper?" He said softly. Piper stood at the edge of the room afraid to come any closer. Bobby's sweet smile was totally disarming. "Please come sit." He said, pulling his arm from beneath the blankets he was wrapped in to point at the recliner across from him.
Piper looked back at her grandmother who gave her a reassuring smile. Piper nodded and sat across from him.
"My god, you really have grown into a beautiful young woman." Bobby said, turning his head sideways staring at her curiously. "You remind me of someone but I can't put my finger on just who."
"Alexis." Piper said surely. She watched the light of recognition flash in his eyes that soon faded to sadness.
"That is it. That is amazing. How is she?"
Piper hesitated. She wasn't sure she wanted to discuss the woman she loved as a mother.
"I'm sorry. I don't really have the right to ask that, do I?" Bobby asked, sensing her hesitation.
"Lexie is good, worried about mom just like the rest of us but good." Piper replied stiffly.
Bobby sat forward. "Is there something wrong with her?"
Piper shook her head and sighed. "Nothing more than years of stress, years of not knowing. She's had dreams of you."
Bobby's mouth curled into a small smile. "That's nice."
"Not really. They were about you being sick." Piper looked down at the floor unable to look her blood uncle in the face.
"I see. So she knows that I am dying then." he said as more of a statement than a question.
"She doesn't know anything. None of us knew anything. Her nightmares are why we are here though."
"I know I don't have any right to ask anything..."
"Ask anything you want." Piper interrupted him. "I will answer as honestly as I can. I can only hope that you will do the same."
Bobby nodded thoughtfully. "What do you mean by nightmares?"
Piper sighed and leaned back into the comfortable seat. "For a while now, mom has woke up screaming. Brant, my brother, and I over heard Alexis talking to her a few weeks back. They were dreams about you, about you being sick and in pain. Lexie tried talking her into coming to find all of you but she refused. She said that too much time had passed. That there was too much pain involved. I had to find out the truth though. I am glad I am here. She needs to know everything."
Bobby looked at her thoughtfully "What can I do to help?"
Piper looked at Bobby. She wondered what he had looked like in better health. She never remembered seeing any photos of any of her family. "Tell me what happened. I know what my parents have told me. I've talked to Sarah and Collin and Barbra but I want to hear it from you."
Bobby sighed heavily. "I don't even know where to start."
Piper smiled to herself. "Begin at the beginning..."
"And go to the end, something along those lines. That was one of your mother's favorite quotes." Piper nodded. "Well, let's see. I guess I will start at the beginning. I guess that would be Jackson." Bobby chuckled as he saw the spark of anger flash in his niece's eyes. "Ah, I see they've told you about him."
Piper smiled sheepishly. "Just a little, I know that he is really what caused a lot of this."
"No," Bobby shook his head, "that was me, a younger, stupider version of me. That and blind hatred; my hatred of your second mother and my father's hatred of the whole situation. Jackson really did a number on me. I mean look at me. Did you know he is the reason I am like this?" Bobby's voice cracked as he motioned to his broken body. "If I knew back then... Hind sight is always 20/20 though, isn't it?" Bobby asked not really expecting an answer. "I was so head over heels in love with him I ate up ever single word that he ever said. So when he told me that he rather have some slut bitch named Alexis I was devastated. I instantly hated her and I didn't even know her. It didn't matter that by the time that week was up Alex and him had parted ways. He at least was nice enough to use protection with her. The only thing I have to comfort me is the knowledge that he is dead and I'm not yet." Bobby shook his head.
"As many times as I came crawling back to him I have no clue when I actually got this retched disease." Bobby took in a ragged breath and tried to steady his emotions. When your mother told me she was gay and had been living a lie for years I was hurt. Hurt that she hadn't felt like she could come to me and tell me. All the years that she saw me struggle and hurt and she couldn't tell me that she was going through the same thing? It killed me. But when I found out who my big sister was dating I lost it. I was so angry when I found out that your mother was with the person that I blamed for everything. Looking back now, I see what a fool I was. Your mother tried telling me that she wasn't really like that. That Alexis wasn't who I had made her out to be in my mind. But I was stupid and I wouldn't listen." Piper could hear him yelling at himself mentally. "No matter what your mother said, I KNEW she was the devil. Sarah tried to tell me. Collin did. I wouldn't listen. I was so young and so STUPID!"
She watched the play of emotions across his face, the tears that spilled down his cheeks. She could feel his self hatred. It was hard for her to watch but she had no inclination to comfort him. She had felt pain and sorrow for Sarah and her grandmother. She tried to comfort them. Now looking at the broken man sitting across from her, she felt nothing but pity, pity at such a life wasted on hatred.
"I knew that Emily would be at supper that night." Bobby continued softly, as if suddenly he was exhausted. "I came with the thought of starting a fight. I never, ever thought... I didn't think.... That's just it. I didn't think. I had so many things running through my head that night but none of it was an actual sensible thought. I thought that maybe if I outted your mom that she'd come to her senses and leave Alexis. Maybe daddy would find her and beat the fear of God into her like he had done me when I was little. I knew my father's wrath, but nothing prepared me for that night. In that moment, I don't know in that moment who I was more afraid of, your grandfather or Alexis."
Bobby smiled a little. "She came in guns blazing. In that moment, I knew exactly how much your mother meant to Alexis and how bad I had fucked up." The tears came down faster as Bobby covered his face with his hand trying to hold back the sobs. "Piper, I can't... I can't ask you to ever forgive me. I can't ask any of you to forgive me but you need to know how sorry I am. I am so, so sorry." Bobby sobbed. "I screwed up so many lives in one night. I will never, ever forgive myself for that." Piper felt her heart break as she heard the man across from her cry his heart out to her. She couldn't stop the tears that came to her eyes. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." Bobby repeated over and over. "I loved you all. I loved you all so much. I screwed up." Piper watched Barbra sit next to her son and pull him into her arms. "Momma, I'm so sorry." He sobbed into her shoulder.
"That's enough now. I knew you are. I think that's enough for today. Why don't we get you into bed? I think you need some rest."
Piper watched as Barbra practically lifted her son off of the couch. He clung to her, barely able to stand on his own. Piper saw the lesions that covered the skin he had done such a good job of hiding beneath the blankets he was wrapped in. It hit Piper what Barbra had said. She couldn't leave because she had to take care of Bobby. She now saw just how much she really had to take care of him. The man couldn't even stand on his own two feet. Piper sat in stunned pain as Barbra helped the man to his room. A few minutes later, Barbra stood in the darkened doorway. She softly pulled the door shut.
"Just talking takes so much out of him. He doesn't have much energy lately." She explained sitting on the couch. "Come sit with me, Piper." Piper knew it was more than a request. She wasn't asking. Piper numbly stood up and sat on the couch next to her grandmother.
"How are you?" She asked softly. Piper turned her hallow eyes to the woman. She searched her face longing for her own mother. She wanted to feel her mom's arms around her, wanted to hear her say that it would be okay. That everything would be okay. Her grandmother nodded even though Piper hadn't uttered a single word. Piper felt her body being pulled into her grandmother's embrace. Piper sat awkwardly in the older woman's arms, aching for her mother, battling with her emotions. Piper didn't even realize she was crying until she felt her body shake with the force of her sobs. She gave her body over to the tears and collapsed on to her grandmother's lap and cried.
"I know baby. Shhh... It will be okay." Her grandmother's soothing voice comforted her as she ran her fingers through Piper's dark hair. Piper cried until she was sure she had no more tears in her body. It felt as if every ounce of energy had been sucked from her body. She fought against the feeling of pure exhaustion, mental, physical and emotion, but it was stronger than she was.
Piper heard hear grandmother's voice talking and was sure she had heard Brant tell her everything was going to be alright. When Piper finally woke she had no idea where she was. Gone was the smell of antiseptic clean, gone was the sunny room and the feeling of her grandmother's arms around her. As Piper sat up she looked around the dark room in confusion trying to figure out just where she was.
"Hey, sleepy head." She heard Collin's voice from somewhere in the corner of the room.
"Where am I?" Piper asked softly, sensing it was late into the night.
"You're at our house. Sarah didn't feel right leaving you and Brant alone at the hotel. Your grandmother told us all what happened."
"Where is Brant?" Piper asked still trying to get her eyes to adjust to the darkness. She located Collin in the room just before he spoke again.
"He's asleep on the couch downstairs. Both your aunt and he wanted woke up when you were finally moving. They've been worried about you."
"I'm fine, just exhausted."
"Understandable. Are you hungry?"
"I could use some coffee." Piper said with a half smile.
Collin chuckled. "I think I could to. Your aunt put some clean clothes for you in the bathroom right there if you want to clean up." Collin said as a he stood up. "I'm going to go let everyone know you are ok. You are okay, right?"
Piper nodded. "I'm ready to go home."
"Sarah thought you might be. You all board a plane tomorrow afternoon. Get cleaned up. We will all talk in a few."
Piper let the hot water fall over her body, relaxing her tired and sore muscles. The last few days ran over and over in her head. She kept coming back to the same thing. They all blamed themselves but the only one she could find fault with in any of it was Eric Thompson, the man who would have been her grandfather. She had heard them all talk about him but had not seen or heard from him.
"I have a question." Piper asked, joining her aunt and uncle in the kitchen.
"Brant's in the bathroom." Collin said without turning around, pouring them all a cup of coffee.
"No, not that." Piper said taking a seat next to Sarah, who reached out and patted her hand. "But that's always good to know." Piper smiled to herself.
Collin turned and gave her a half smile, his cheeks turning red. "Do you take cream or sugar?" He asked trying to change the subject.
Piper nodded. "A splash of cream and two sugars."
"Just like your mother." Sarah said. "Sorry, just like Alexis." She corrected herself.
"You know, up until a few weeks ago, Alexis was always Aunt Lexie. Since this trip though, I find it comforting hearing her called my mother."
"Hey, how ya feeling?" Bran asked loudly as he entered the room.
"Brant. Kids are sleeping." Sarah said like a true mother.
"Sorry, ma'am." Brant said with a soft smile as he sat down at the table.
"Good timing." Collin said setting a cup in front of Brant and Piper. Grabbing the two remaining cups he sat down on the other side of his wife, taking a very appreciative drink of his coffee.
"So what was it that you wanted to ask?" Collin said, setting his cup down.
"Oh, yeah," Piper said taking another drink of her coffee. "This is good. And my question was about Eric. What happened to him? I mean, you guys all talk about him but not what happened to him or where he is or what he's doing or anything."
Sarah sighed and put her cup on the table. "Dad passed away a few years ago. He had changed after everything that had happened and not all the changes were for the best. Doctors said that it all did a number on his heart. He had a massive heart attack. That reminds me." Sarah said, standing up and walking into the living room. When she returned to the kitchen, Sarah held a large family bible in her hands.
"This is your mother's. We've had it sitting on the mantle waiting for this day." She explained, handing Brant the heavy book. "Look through it if you want. It's been in the family for five generations now. Your great, great, great, great... you get the point... your great grand father worked for the king of Italy as his personal physician. Family lore has it that the king's wife became gravely ill. Your grandfather slaved for hours, never leaving her bedside until she was well. The king was so pleased lavished him with gifts and when he passed hose gifts were divided among his six children. This came down our line." Sarah explained as the two kids looked the book full of family names, important dates, and special events. Each one written in pristine writing on the gold trimmed pages. "Your mother loved flipping through the pages of that old thing. She would sit there for hours going through the list of family members. It is why dad wanted her to have it." Piper pointed out their grandfather's name and the date of his death.
"What's this?" Piper asked picking up an envelope addressed to her mother as they flipped the page. Sarah reached out her hand, bewilderment filling her face.
"I really don't know. I never really flipped through it except to add the date that your grandfather died."
"What about Sora? Who added that?" Brant asked flipping back the few pages to the one of his family. Sure enough there was the date of his parent's marriage and divorce, his date of birth and both his sister's and brother's.
Sarah shook her head. "I don't know. More than likely it was mom. She was the one that added everything."
"Why aren't AJ and Rae in here?"
Sarah looked over at Collin. "I guess we were both..."
"Scared. We were scared that we would lose them." Collin said taking Sarah's hand.
Brant watched the two of them together. It was refreshing to see that marriages could actually work with love and hard work. Collin hadn't agreed with what Sarah had done but he had supported her because he loved here. Brant knew that they'd had a hard road together but seeing them here together you would never know.
"It was also we really did hope a day like this would come. We'd been thinking it would be Alexis and Emily but instead we got the wonderful surprise of you two. Brant, Piper, you have no idea what it means to us that you've done this. We both realize that this hasn't been easy on you."
Piper snorted. "That's an understatement."
Sarah smiled at them. "What Collin is trying to say is we don't know if we could have done what the two of you have. I have so much respect for you and how courageous you both are. I know you still haven't forgiven us but I hope that we," Sarah hesitated as she took in her niece and nephew. "I hope that we can stay in contact. Become that family that we always should have been." Sarah looked at them hopefully.
Brant looked at Piper. "I think we'd both like that." He answered for both of them. Sarah stood up and hugged them both.
"Thank you."
"I have something else for you to take back to your mother." Collin reached for his leather work bag that hung from his chair. "I knew that this would be hard on you and I'm sure the retelling will be just as hard. I don't know if Bobby will have the energy to tell his side again." Collin said digging through his bag. "Here." Collin handed Piper a disk.
Piper looked at her uncle confused and read the hand written label. 'Piper and Bobby' "What is this?" Piper looked at the CD in her hand and she could feel her body fill with anger and confusion.
"Please don't get mad. We thought it would help."
"You thought bugging our conversation would be a good way to start being a real family again?" She shoved the CD into her brother's hands.
Collin sat up a little straighter but his eyes looked sad and tired. "I was just trying to help. I thought that it might help you. I didn't listen to any of it. Just put it on there and handed it over. I don't know if your uncle will be around much longer. I thought Emily needed to hear what he had to say."
Brant sighed and put the CD on the table. "How did you get all of this?"
Sarah reached in her robe pocket. "This. It's a digital voice recorder. You guys have the only copy of that conversation."
Piper shook her head. "You know that you could have asked. I probably would have let you. This is a big invasion of my privacy." Piper saw the tears welling up in Sarah's eyes. "I'm sorry."
Piper sighed and looked into her coffee cup. "Don't worry about it. No big deal. I understand why you did it."
"God, this whole week has been crazy. I don't know what I was thinking. I should have talked to you. I just have so much going through my head right now. I don't know why I didn't even think about it." Piper could see how desperately upset her aunt was. She reached out her hand. One day Emily would find a way to forgive them for all that they had done. That was all she could do... hope.