First and fore most this is a love story. It is a story that does contain sexual acts between two females. If this offends you then don't read it. If you are not 18, or whatever the age maybe where you're from, then please don't read it. If you just don't like the idea of love between two ladies, go somewhere else. Don't read it. The characters are not real. Any similarities are just that.
I just want to thank everyone who has stayed with the story this far. I would also like to thank those who have written me telling me how much they have enjoyed it. You all are the reason I continue to write. For those who haven't written yet. Please do so. I could always use that much more encouragement and I love talking to new people. I have met some interesting people along the way and hope to talk to many more.
As always, enjoy.
Amanda
upside_umop_insideout
Chapter 24
Truth and Pain
"Something is wrong." Sarah said as she kneeled by her sister's seat shortly after they landed. Emily could tell by the look of fear in her eyes that something was definitely wrong.
"What's going on?" She said leaning forward, reaching out her hand to get Alexis' attention.
"I just turned on my phone and I had a voice mail from both mom and Collin. Collin is meeting us at the airport with a passenger van. He is having one of his workers pick up our luggage. We are just supposed to get off and find Collin."
"Did they say what's happened or what going on?" Sarah shook her head. "Alright, well, let's get the kids and get going."
"What's going on?" Piper asked as they made their way off of the plane.
"I don't really know." Alexis answered honestly.
"But something is going on?" Piper looked at her step-mom as she readjusted the strap to her bag.
"Piper, I don't know much more than you. Sarah got a voice mail that something has happened and Collin is meeting us here and not to worry about our bags that someone would get them for us."
"Piper, can you give me a hand with AJ and Rae?" Sarah called from behind them.
"Thanks mom. I gotta go help out Aunt Sarah." The stress that surrounded the family could be felt by anyone passing them by. None of them had any idea what was going on, just that something was wrong. Sarah and Piper watched Emily and Alexis closely as they walked, while still keeping an eye on the three children.
"You think that it's Bobby don't you?" Piper said just loud enough for the two of them to hear. "I can't be sure." Sarah said, still staring off in front of them.
"But you think that it's Bobby." Piper said, this time more of a statement than a question. Sarah looked over at her and nodded.
"I think its Bobby. He keeps getting weaker and weaker. I just hope that he can hold on long enough to see your mom."
The seven of them walked through the terminal heading for the exit. "There you guys are." Sarah turned to see her husband walking up to them quickly.
"What's going on?" Sarah said as soon as he got closer.
"Bobby's in the hospital. He's taken a turn for the worse. I was hoping to have some time with Alex and Emily and the kids but I need to get you guys there soon. We don't know how much longer he has." Sarah covered her mouth to keep a sob from escaping. "I'll take you guys there and then take the kids home."
"Collin, would you mind taking Sora with you. He doesn't need to see all of this." Emily asked before stepping into his open arms.
"Of course I will. It will give me a chance to get to know my newest nephew. It's great to see you Em. I just wish it was under better circumstances."
"Me too." Emily said, stepping back.
"Okay, let's get you guys moving. Do you guys have your baggage claim tickets?" He asked. One by one the women went through their bags until they had produced at least one each. They watched as Collin turned to a man standing a few feet behind him and Collin give him a list of instructions and then they were off.
Alexis looked over at her love and couldn't help but worry. While she was still beautiful in every way, Emily's age was beginning to show. The lines around her eyes were a little more defined, the lack of sleep showed underneath her eyes.
"Are you okay?" Alexis whispered as she leaned over and wrapped her arm around
"I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. A few days ago I thought that it was the best to not try to find my family. A few days ago I thought that I would never forgive my sister much less my brother. And now, here we are, on the way to the hospital, with my sister and my niece and nephew that I didn't even know I had. Here we are on the way to see my brother, who I just found out is dying. I don't even know how I am supposed to feel right now."
Alexis pulled her love into her arms. She knew that she didn't have the words to comfort her. It killed Alexis inside because she knew that there was nothing she could do to save Emily from the hurt that was coming. She hated not being able to do anything for her.
Before either of them knew it they were in front of the hospital. "Are you ready?" Sarah asked looking back at them from the front seat.
"No." Emily answered honestly. "But there is no time to waste." She replied with a long sigh.
"Call me when you guys are done." Collin said to his wife. She nodded and gave him a kiss before all the women got out of the van.
"Sora, you are going to go with Uncle Collin and your cousins. You listen to him and if he needs help with the kids you help, ok?" "I will mom." Sora promised, given her a kiss as she leaned into the van.
Alexis, Emily, Piper, and Sarah walked into the hospital quietly. They walked up to the information desk to find out what room their brother was in.
"Robert Thompson is currently in ICU on the third floor. I am sorry but only two of you can go up at a time. The rest of you will have to wait in the waiting room on the second floor."
The four women looked at each other. "So who goes?" Piper finally asked, breaking the silence, always blunt.
"I think your mothers should be the ones to go first. We both have seen him recently. They have some unsettled business with him."
Piper shrugged and walked over the elevators and hit the up button.
"Are you sure? He's your brother. Our "unsettled business"' can wait. I think that it's more important that you guys have your time with him. He's in ICU for Christ sake. That can't be good."
"Alexis," Sarah reached out and put her hand on her sister's arm, "This is the third time in a year and a half that he's been in ICU. Granted, he's looking more and more worn down each time I see him, but even if he never leaves this hospital again, I think you guys need to get things straightened out before he passes. I think you both need it and I know he does. I really think the only reason he has held on this long is to have a chance to talk to you both."
Alexis looked over at Emily warily. "I don't know."
Emily tried to smile reassuringly over her but failed miserably. "I know you are nervous, but I think Sarah is right. I will be right by your side."
"Hey, you guys gonna stand there and chat or go see the old dying guy?" Piper yelled from the door of the elevator she stood holding open, laughing when she got a gasp out of the few people sitting in the waiting room of the ground floor, including that of her mothers and aunt.
"That was uncalled for, Piper."
"Got your attention didn't it? I had called you guys a few times but no one was listening."
"Sorry." Alexis said as she draped her arm over Piper's shoulder.
"Yeah, me too."
The four of them got off on the second floor to check in with the receptionist as they were instructed to do. "The doctor has just got done making his rounds if you would like to speak to him." The young lady behind the desk told them."
"That would be great." Sarah said with a small smile.
"If you'd like to have a seat I will let him know that you are here."
The women sat quietly as they waited until a handsome young man dressed in blue scrubs and a white jacket walked up to them looking quiet somber.
"Are you the family of Robert Thompson?" He inquired.
"Bobby. Bobby Thompson. Yes." Emily said softly.
"I'm sorry. Bobby. I just saw him a few minutes ago and just sent him to have some test ran. Your mother told me that you all should be arriving shortly and made me swear to fill you in on what is going on."
"Is she with Bobby now?"
"Ma'am, she as refused to leave his side until you all arrived. Do you mind if I pull up a chair? This might take a little while. I understand that all except for one of you just recently found out that the patient has AIDS, am I correct?"
"That's right. Can you please tell us how my brother is doing?"
The doctor nodded and grabbed a chair, sitting in front of them so that he could look each one of them in the eye. "Bobby isn't doing too well. Right now he is in the middle of fighting an uphill battle and he is losing. AIDS has completely destroyed his immune system. There's nothing left of it. Every germ he comes into contact with has the chance of killing him. Right now he is in the fourth and final stages of AIDS."
Emily sob caught in her throat as Sarah grabbed her arm and Alexis tightened her grip of Emily's hand.
"So he's dying? I mean, really dying?" Sarah said in disbelief. "I mean, he's always bounced back. I just... I just thought it would be like before."
"I am sorry to have to be the one to tell you, but I don't see Bobby bouncing back this time."
"Stage four? What does that mean?" Piper asked, turning the doctor's attention towards her. She noticed the lone tear that fell down her mother's face right before she saw her take a deep breath and square her shoulders. Once again she was amazed by her mother's silent strength.
The doctor looked at Piper and then at the other three women. "There are four main stages of AIDS. The first stage is mainly minor infections, caused by the lack in T-cells. It is asymptomatic and is not actually categorized as AIDS. Most people think they have a really bad case of the flu. The second stage, the first actual stage of AIDS, is usually symptomized by reoccurring upper respiratory infection and minor mucocutaneous manifestations."
"English, doc." Piper said quietly.
"Chest colds and infections in his mucous linings."
"Thanks."
"Moving on, stage three is tuberculosis, TB, and unexplained chronic diarrhea. Now for people taking HAART treatment for HIV and AIDS chronic diarrhea could also be attributed to side effect from his HAART therapy." The doctor hesitated and looked over at Piper. Anticipating her next question he clarified. "Sorry HAART stands for highly active antiretroviral therapy. It's basically a combination or cocktail of three or four different drugs, each doing their part to make sure that Bobby's immune system stays as healthy as it can. Unfortunately, HAART can have some pretty bad side effects too."
Sarah stopped him. "Being a doctor, I understand side effects but usually the drugs I prescribe have more pros than cons. I thought that HAART was supposed to help him. Why has he gone so down hill with the drugs that he is taking?"
The doctor sighed and shook his head. "For most people it does work. For some it works better than others. HAART can add years to the life of someone living with AIDS. Sometimes its ony a few years, sometimes it's ten or twenty. Each person reacts to the treatment differently. Your brother's strand of AIDS unfortunately seems to be more drug-resistant than most. We've changed his meds so many times I have pretty much lost track of what he is on. Nothing seems to be working. Its becoming just that much harder to treat patients living with HIV and AIDS because more and more we are finding strands that have become resistant to the cocktails that we are feeding our patients."
"I don't care about the drugs. What about this stage four crap? I mean, if the... the diarrhea is from the meds then how do you know he has stage four AIDS?" Piper asked a little more snippy than she meant to. "Sorry. It's just all so confusing." Piper added when she got a look from her mother.
"Bobby now has toxoplasmosis. Toxoplasmosis is a key sign of being stage four. It's basically a big long word that means he has a parasitic disease living in him. During the first few weeks, the infection typically causes a mild flu-like illness or sometimes no illness at all. After most of the infection has passed, the parasite rarely usually doesn't hurt an otherwise healthy person, like you and I. But, people with a weakened immune system, such as Bobby, can't fight of the infection that the parasite can bring. For them it can make them seriously ill. Sometimes it even leads to death. The parasite can cause encephalitis, inflammation of the brain; it can also affect other parts of the body, like their eyes, heart and liver. This is what is happening to Bobby. As if that were not enough, he has pneumonia which is putting pressure on his lungs, making it hard for him to breath."
"So there is no hope?" Emily asked disparaged.
"I wish I could give you better news. I will leave you to talk for a few moments and check to see if he's returned yet." They all thanked the doctor half-heartedly as he stood and left them to their own thoughts.
"I can't help it. I don't want to go in there, knowing that this could be the last time that I see him alive." Emily sobbed as Alexis pulled her into her arms.
"We have to, babe. We have to." Emily nodded into her partner's shoulder and the both stood as one. With Sarah and Piper watching on Alexis walked them towards the double doors that lead them towards the elevators. She knew that she would have to put on a brave face for the woman that she had spent the better part of her lifetime with, but for once, Alexis was terrified. She didn't want to walk into that room anymore than she wanted to have any of this happen in the first place. Part of her blamed herself for the condition of the man laying in the hospital bed and that part of herself she would never forgive. If she had came clean with Emily when she had first realized that she was in love with her maybe...
"Stop that! Right now." Emily said forcefully before the elevator arrived. Alexis hadn't even realized that her love had not only stopped crying but now was looking at her with anger and pain in her eyes.
"Stop what, love?" Alexis asked, honestly confused as to what she was doing.
"You stop blaming yourself. I can feel it radiating from you, the guilt, the anger, the self pity. I thought that we had gotten past all of that, years ago." Emily quietly fumed as the doors once again shut and they still stood in the same place. Alexis looked down at the floor, knowing she had been caught.
"I thought we had to, but knowing what we do now? How can I ever forgive myself? It was bad enough that you lost your family because of me, but to know that I was what lead to your brother going out and doing the things he did..."
"Enough!" Emily practically shouted, bringing more than a few heads up to look at them. She didn't care. "I don't want to hear anymore. Are you God? Are you the one that says what every action and reaction is? Are you the one that decides who lives and who dies? No! So there for no matter what you may have done in the past, you are not the one that controls what happens in the here and now. Yes, every action has a reaction. No, you can't control a damn one of them. So stop. Stop blaming your self. Stop feeling guilty. This is not your not fault." Emily blustered. "Damn it! Not your fault! You know what I meant." She wanted to hang onto her anger at her mistake but at the sight of Alex's mouth turning up into a smile she knew she was done for and smiled back.
"You always could make me smile. Even in the worse times, you could make me smile."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
The two women took a deep breath as the elevator dinged its arrival once again. As they turned to wait for the doors to open, Emily gasped.
"I... I can't deal with you right now." Emily said and stepped around the woman that now stood frozen in the doorway of the elevator.
"Mrs. Thompson." Alexis nodded to the stunned woman.
"Alexis." The woman nodded back as she stepped out of the elevator. "Take care of her for me." She said softly as she walked past her.
"I always have." Alexis replied, stepping into the elevator she turned to look at the face of the woman she had only met once. Looking at the sorrow that filled her eyes, Alexis found it hard to hang onto the hatred she had once had for the woman that refused to stand up to her husband on their daughters behalf. Instead, all she felt was pain from the years that they had missed together.
"Are you okay?" Emily asked as the elevator lurched upward.
"I should be asking you that." Alex looked over at her Emily and sighed before pulling her into her arms.
"How are we going to get through this?" Emily asked as she clutched Alexis' shirt front and hang on for dear life until the elevator came to a stop. As the doors opened they over come by the smell of antiseptic clean.
Emily's feet seemed to be weighted down as she made her way down the hall. Even though she knew that her love was by her side, Emily felt more alone than she ever had. Unconciously, she reached out and squeezed Alex's hand.
"I'm still here love."
Emily looked over at her and nodded silently, her eyes betraying all of her fears. "Why don't we go find out what room he is in?" Alexis asked, her voice soothing and calm. Again, Emily nodded.
The two women stopped in front of an attractive older woman sitting behind a glass walled desk. "How are ya'll doing today?" The woman asked in a distinct southern drawl.
"I wish I could say that we've been better. We are looking for Robert Thompson's room."
The woman nodded as she recognized his name. "Are you family?"
"Yes, ma'am. Bobby is our brother." Emily said softly.
"Forgive me, but it is required that I ask. If you give me a moment, I need to escort you back to the room. You will have to wash up and put on a gown and mask. Your brother is quite sick as it is but any little infection that is brought in, even if you feel well enough, could be detrimental for him."
Emily looked over at Alexis, her eyes wide with fear.
"It will be okay. We will get through this." Alexis promise was only loud enough for the two of them to hear. They watched as the older lady moved around the little office area gracefully, her scrubs swooshing with her every move.
"Sorry about the wait. Always seems like there is enough paperwork to drown an old woman like me." The woman continued to chat to herself as they walked down the hallway. Emily felt like she was going to be sick and pass out and jump through her skin all at the same time. The farther down the hall they got the worse the feeling got until it felt like her stomach had made a permanent residence in her throat.
"You can do this." Alexis reassured her as the nurse went over how they were to scrub up before they entered the room.
Emily looked at the love that flowed from Alexis' eyes and felt her self grow stronger. Emily took a deep breath, holding it until she felt here heart rate begin to descend before she exhaled and took another breath. She looked down at her soapy hands and barely remembered how they had gotten that way. Emily finished washing her hands, squared her shoulders as she stood and put the biggest smile she could on here face.
"Are we all set then?" Emily looked at Alexis and they both nodded. "Okay, just remember what I have told you." The nurse said, holding robes for them to step into. "If it seems like your brother needs to rest, please let him. God knows that he could probably use all the rest he can get right now. His body has put up such a fight. He should be awake right now. He asked to skip this afternoon's medicine rounds, so he might be in a little bit of pain." Emily wondered when this woman would shut up and get out of their way. As much as she was dreading seeing her brother she also was tired of hearing the nurse drone on.
"May we please see our brother now?" Alex asked, reading Emily's thoughts.
"Yes, of course. If you need anything there is a call button on his bed. Pleases keep your visit to under thirty minutes."
The two women nodded and opened the door into Bobby's room. The room was small, yet comfortable. A chair sat on either side of a bed that looked rather large for the form that filled it. A skinny man, with thinning hair, dark circles under his eyes, and tubs running ever which way from his body sat there looking up at them expectantly.
"Emily. Alexis. Please, come in." Bobby's voice was barely over a whisper as he beckoned them toward him. They looked at each other, both of their faces covered with mask and their bodies concealed by gowns. Neither said a word, but none was needed. Each woman turned towards the man that had caused so much heart ache, so much pain and smiled.
"Bobby, how are you?" Emily asked, her voice full of warmth and affection as she neared his bed. Alexis flanked her before rounding to the other side of the bed.
"Not to well, otherwise I wouldn't be here." Bobby said in a sad joke. His chuckle turned into a bought of deep hard coughs that took him a few minutes to recover from. Both women stood there unsure of what to do to help. "Sorry, it keeps getting harder and harder to breath. Some days are better than others. Today doesn't look like a good day, tomorrow doesn't look like it's going to be much better." He said with a weak smile.
"I am glad to see that you still have a sense of humor." Alexis said.
"I have to find something to keep me going. They said my body should have given out ages ago. How are you Alexis? I'm glad that you came. You have to no reason to be here other than the love you have for my sister. I have caused you so much pain."
Alexis looked over at Emily and smiled. "After all of these years and everything that we have been through together, I love her more now then I did back then."
"I felt so bad, I still feel horrible, for what I put you both through. I knew that night, when you came in to rescue her just how much she really meant to you. I couldn't think of anyway I could fix it, anyway to undo what I had done."
Alexis reached out and took Bobby's hand in her own. It felt so light, his skin so thin Alexis feared that if she rubbed her thumb against it too hard that it would tear. She could feel every bone and tendon or so it seemed. She watched his hand in her own and felt a tear roll down her face.
"There is enough blame to go around, Bobby. We both made mistakes. I... I'm sorry. I hate that you're lying in this bed. That I played a part in it."
"No!" Bobby said with such force that it brought both Emily and Alexis' eyes to his own. For as small and frail as he had become, there was still more spirit in him than either of them had expected. "You listen to me, and you listen to me good. This is NOT your doing. You couldn't have stopped this. One way or another it was bound to happen. I was meant to take this path, just as you were meant to take yours. It's my time and I have made peace with that."
"Bobby, how can you say that? How can you be ready to die?" Emily sobbed from the other side of the bed.
"Look at me sis, this is just a shell of a body. This is not living. I want to be free, free from the pain, free from the agony of having to live like this day in and day out. I believe just like you do, that once I am gone I will truly be free. Weren't you the one who opened the bible and sat me down when I was eight or nine and I had broke my leg. It was you that showed me that when we get to heaven God has promised us that there will be no more pain, no more suffering. I want that." Bobby raised a shaky hand to his sister's face and wiped her tears away. "I wish I could have been there for you. Sarah hated that I was in her life and you weren't. We all should have been. Forgive me?"
"Of course." Emily said, leaning into his hand. Bobby patted her cheek before his hand fell to the bed.
"I'm so tired Emily."
"I know. You sleep now."
"Stay with me till I do?" he asked, sounding just like a small child.
"Of course, I always did." Emily replied, remembering better day.
"Take care of her when I'm gone." Bobby said, squeezing the hand that still held his.
"I always will." Alexis promised. Bobby smiled as his eyes fell closed. It seemed like mere seconds before the sound of his rhythmic breathing joined the sounds of the machines that helped to keep him alive.
"He's right." Emily said softly, bringing Alexis from her thoughts.
"About what, my love?"
"This isn't living. He doesn't even look the same. I could have walked past him and never known..." Emily's words were cut off by the sob that filled her throat. Alexis gently laid down the hand that she held and circled the bed, taking her love into her arms.
"Shhh. Let's let him rest." Alexis turned them towards the door. Alexis and Emily walked into the waiting room, with Alexis' arms still around her.
"Emily?" the small older woman's voice reached out to her. Emily looked up through tear filled eyes.
"I never meant... I never meant for this to happen." Emily sobbed as her mother took her into her arms. Alexis stepped back and looked over at Sarah and Piper. They both nodded that it would be fine and motioned for her to join them.
"Mom, I never... He's so weak and thin."
"Shhh... Hush now, baby. This was not your doing. He'll be out of pain soon. Shhh..." Her mother's soft soothing voice ran over her. In the back of Emily's mind she wanted to hate the woman whose arms now surrounded her, but right then and there, it was exactly what she needed. She loved Alexis with all of her heart, but at that moment she needed the embrace and love of her mother more then she ever had before.
"He's dying, mom. He's dying." Emily said, pulling away from her mother.
"I know he is. I wish there was something that we could do to stop it. It's in God's hand now."
"How can you say it so calmly like that?" Emily asked her voice filling with anger. "How could you turn your back on me and never look back?" Emily asked, violently yanking her arms from her mother's grasp.
"Emily this isn't the time or the place." Sarah warned her, scooting towards the end of her seat. Her mother's hand stopped her.
"No, if Emily needs to do this now. We will do this now." While Barbra's voice was filled with motherly authority her eyes never left her younger daughter's who stood there daring her to talk.
"Why? How? How do you turn your back on your own flesh and blood?" Emily's voice was filled with loathing, her lips curling in anger. The more that she stared at her mother, the more her face turned up like her mouth was filled with a horrible taste.
"It's more complicate than that." Her mother answered, slowly lowering her hand from where she had held it out to stop Sarah.
"Really? Not from where I stand it's not. You and daddy, you turned your back on us. You cut ties with your daughter, with your grandchildren, then you took my sister from me. She was all that I had left!" Emily accused, tears streaming freely down her face.
"Piper, go get something to eat." Alexis said, shoving money towards her daughter.
"Why?" Piper asked, pissed off.
"You don't need to see your mother like this. They have stuff to work out." Sarah agreed. "I think I will come with you." She said, standing up.
"But what about mom?" Piper whispered, watching her mother stare down her grandmother.
"She'll be fine. I won't leave her. I promise. Just please, go with your aunt." Alexis' eyes pleaded with her as much as her voice did.
"Ok." Piper stood and turned to leave, stopping before she had taken a single step. Before Sarah or Alexis could stop her she reached out and touched her mother's arm. The look in her mother's eyes scared her. Anger, distrust, and betrayal filled them. Slowly her eyes softened as she looked at her daughter's face.
"Hi, baby." She said softly.
"Mom, sit down, talk to her. She loves you as much as you love me." Piper watched her mother's eyes face with disbelief and anger before they filled with love once more.
"I will try, baby. Go with your aunt and get something to eat."
"I'm worried about you." Piper admitted softly.
Emily reached out her hand and ran her thumb across Piper's cheek. "I'll be fine, sweetie. I've just bottled up a lot of emotions over the years. I guess I didn't realize how much till just now. Just go with Sarah. I will try to sit down and talk with her, alright?"
Piper nodded and Emily dropped her hand and watched as Piper walked out of the waiting room. It was then that she looked around and realized that they had drawn more than a few eyes in their direction.
"No one is with Bobby." She said to no one in particular.
"He will sleep for a few hours. We have some time to talk." Barbra said softly. For the first time, Emily really turned and looked at her mother. There were signs of the hardships that she had been through. Aside from the dark circles that surrounded her eye, a few more wrinkles and a few more white hairs, she was just the same as she had always been. As Emily looked into her eyes, she noticed the tears that sat there unshed.
"There is a walkway next to the river outside. Why don't we walk?" Barbara said softly as she turned her head away from her daughter's gaze.
Alexis stood and took Emily's hand into her own and the three women walked towards the elevators once more.
"We never really had a chance to meet." Barbra told Alexis. "I'm sorry for that. Sarah has told me a lot about you."
Alexis just politely smiled. What was she supposed to say to that? "Oh, that's nice?" No way. She had no idea what to say but she definitely wouldn't be saying something cutesy nice to someone who had caused Emily so much pain. She was surprised she had made it this long without blowing up on any of the people that had caused their family such hardships.
"Mom, now is not the time to try to get to know us. Now is the time that we get answers. I heard that daddy passed away."
Barbra sighed heavily as they stepped off the elevator and turned towards the large doors in front of them. "He never got over you and Bobby. He refused to talk about either of you, but after that day, he lost his will to go on. The only time that he would talk to me was when he was busy taking his anger out on me. I told him that I was going to find Bobby and I was going to make amends with you, that I couldn't take it anymore. He lost it. I had never seen your father so angry before. I have a few scars to prove it. It was about six months later he was at work and his secretary came in to find him face down on a pile of paper work. It was a massive heart attack. "
"How did you cope?" Alexis asked softly, taking Emily's hand into her own. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose someone she loved that much. "Emily told me how close you all were."
"I actually did ok. I... the relationship that I had with her father wasn't what it had once been. I didn't agree with how he treated our children but I couldn't go against him. Partially because I followed what the Bible says and partially because I was afraid."
"Daddy had never raised a cruel hand to anyone. I can't believe that he would hurt you."
"People change, love, sometimes for the worse."
Emily shook her head. She knew that better than anyone. She had experienced more than her share of heart ache due to it. "It still doesn't make any sense. Why would he hurt you?"
"He was angry with himself for not being able to raise a good, "Christian" family. He was angry at me for still wanting to be part of your lives regardless of what path that you all chose. The last time, he hurt me pretty bad. I had never raised my voice to him. I couldn't stop my self. I was so angry and so bitter towards him from keeping me from my kids, when I yelled, he back handed me, broke my jaw in two places." Barbra motioned to the scar that was now barely noticeable on her cheek.
"Oh my God mom!" Emily gasped.
Sorry it took so long to get this chapter posted. For one- it's a bit longer than normal. And for two I just had a hell of a time moving the rest of our stuff across country. Should have another one posted a lot sooner than this one. Keep your eyes open. Thanks again for sticking with me this long. Don't forget to drop me a line and let me know what you thought of the latest installment.
Until Next Time, Amanda