This story is purely fictional and is not suggesting anything about the sexuality of either N'Sync or Backstreet Boys. I am not trying to imply that either one of the band members is homosexual or bisexual. I also do not recommend this story to anyone who is offended by erotic homosexual stories or is under the age of eighteen.
The screaming of the people was unbearable. I felt like my mind is gonna blow, and like I can't control anything any more. The dark face in front of me had a huge winning grin on it, while the sharp black eyes evily laughed at me. He knew that he about to win and that there was no way for me to pull myself together. The music was beating in my throat and hundreds of pairs of anticipating eyes were staring at me, expecting me to do something, to put on a show or at least lose with some honor. The pain in my leg was blinding me while the whole world was spinning and spinning without control. That was what I desperately needed; control. It was out of my reach though, and only thing I was able to feel is pain and heat that slowly started growing. Need to win was gone and the blinding anger suddenly shoot through my body like a wild storm ready to kill. I got my strength back within minutes and I was ready to face him, together with everything else that was thrown at me. Everything around me was in the fog and I knew that I was losing even that little piece of control that I had. I was able to to see his face clearly though, and I focused on it. I hated it, I wanted to smash it, destroy it, erase it out of existence. Somewhere in the far corner of my mind I knew that I should stop myself before it's too late, but it wasn't as easy as it seemed. I didn't want to stop. I felt high and powerful like I could do anything I wanted to and no one or nothing could stop me. My feet were steady now and energy was running through my veins while the loud beating of my heart in my throat silenced the music. I moved in fast, surprising him completely and throwing him out of balance. He stumbled and tried to block my punch but it was too late. Blood poured down his face from the smashed nose and his face froze in the mask of pain. It was a good enough defeat, but I was unable to stop: the taste of his blood and pain was too much for me, and I wanted more. I wanted him to scream and I wanted to hear it, I wanted to feel his warm blood on my hands and feel his neck cracking under my fingers. He was still standing, his hands on his face, blood pouring down his fingers and making small red spots on the white floor. The match was over but the crowd wanted more and I wasn't about to disappoint them. While moving swiftly towards him I was able to see the shocked expression on his face, but it didn't matter. At that point nothing mattered. With hook-kick to his lower back and another one to his stomach, I spun around him and ended up facing his back, while he slightly folded over as defenseless and helpless as a five-year-old child. The crowd went wild. There was no feelings and no sense; he was the enemy and the enemy deserved no mercy. The fire burned my chest and the heat in my face almost blurred my vision, I felt like I could explode from the pure pleasure of seeing pain and blood, hearing his weeps and hearing the inhuman screaming of the crowd. They were screaming my name. I wrapped my fingers around his neck and stepped in a low patu-ish-he with my knee pointing up. He fell back on my knee and his back cracked, while his body jerked without control and the grimace on his face changed into animals face of pure pain, with nothing else left besides an uncontrollable wish to escape. His body lay helpless on my knee with his face open to my hands, but his throat was the thing I concentrated on since the beginning. I grabbed his face in between my hands while the heat completely took over my body. The screams turned into a wild chant, repeating itself over and over again. My mind twisted it and turned it into a chant that I wanted to hear: 'Kill! Kill! Kill!...' The last piece of my conscience screamed loudly but I wasn't able to understand it; the chanting was too loud and it felt too good to feel the heat blacking out my mind. My vision blurred and everything became red like a fire of hell, while my fingers sank deeper into the soft skin of his face. I felt his last try to pull away and life still running through his veins; then I twisted my hands quickly and the snap of his neck echoed loudly in my brain. His lifeless body slipped through my hands and sank to the floor. His blood spilled like a wild river, while the deadly silence filled my ears and my vision started to clear up. I stood up trying to understand what really happened, when the deadly quiet was broken by a loud weep that shoot through my heart like a poisoned arrow. I looked towards the crowd while my mind was still clearing up, and was stunned by the looks full of shock and disgust that were on their faces. The scream repeated itself and, annoyed by it, I tried to find where it was coming from. Then i spotted the black hair in the end of the ring and the hysteric face full of indescribable pain. She threw herself on the floor and wrapped her hands around his bloody shoulders, trying to shake him awake like he was going through a nightmare. Her face, scared by years and hard from experience was now deformed into a mask of suffering; the same suffering I read on her son's face just few minutes ago. I looked at his face trying to bring back the hate I felt, but it wasn't there. The expression he had on was angelic, while in the same time had something childish and sacred in it, reminding me of the picture of Jesus himself. Staring at his white face I painfully realized what happened. I killed him. My throat became dry and I started losing my balance while my knees weakened making my whole body shake violently. The blood puddle started spreading towards my feet but I barely noticed it. She was looking at me without hatred or disgust while still holding his lifeless body on her chest. Her lips whispered through the uncontrollable weeps: "Why..."
"J.C.?" There was no response. The blond boy was sitting at the computer with one hand on his mouth, and his eyes full of tears. The weak sun rays made gothic shapes on his baby blue shirt, half tucked in and almost two numbers too large. There were piles of clothes all over the floor and king sized bed, that looked like it wasn't made since that same morning, which was at that point twelve hours away. "J.C." Still no response. His eyes were fixed at the computer monitor like his life depended on it. There was a soft breeze coming from the open window and he shook his shoulders slightly when it touched him. Wiping his eyes, he repeated more loudly: "J.C.?!!" "I'm coming!" Soon after, the tall, handsome looking guy walked into the room, while pulling his shirt on. There was something fatherly in his appearance, although he barely looked any older than the blond boy, who was now staring at him instead the computer monitor. Trying not to step all over the clothes or anything else that lay on the floor, J.C. walked up to the computer, tucking his shirt in. His voice had a hint of worry in it: "What is it? Are you OK?" "Yeah, I'm fine. Read this." "Not another story Justin, I'm so sick of those." "Just read it. Please." Justin's face was unusually serious and he was doing his best to keep back the tears. "Are you...are you crying?" "Just read it." He stood up from the computer letting J.C. take his place, and when J.C. started reading, Justin moved away towards the window. Breeze caressed his young face bringing him the smell of the trees and ground covered in Fall rain, while the sun made his blond curls look like they were covered in gold. He let his mind wander away, in the cruel world he read about not even fifteen minutes ago. He could picture the screaming crowd, loud music, and life-or-death fight, while back of his mind repeated against his will: 'Kill! Kill! Kill!...' Light touch on his shoulder made him jump and instinctively move away. His heart was beating loudly in his throat while he realized that the person behind him was only J.C. J.C.'s eyes were still worried while he was pulling Justin in a comforting hug: "You shouldn't be reading things like that. Remember our deal? No stress, no depressing stories, no crying. Dr. Peterson said that you can't risk it and you promised that you wouldn't." "But that's not just any story. It's real, it's real life..." "Justin please. This has to stop." "It'll stop J.C., I promise, but I have to talk to him first." There was a look of shock on J.C.'s face: "Talk to whom?" "To Kevin; the guy who wrote the story..." "No!!" J.C.-ov sharp voice made Justin jump and pull quickly out of his hug. Seeing Justin's half scared, half hurt expression, J.C. took a deep breath and repeated more calmly: "No" "But I have to..." "No, that'll only make things worse than they already are." "J.C...." "I said no." Wanting to scream, Justin felt anger and disappointment building up in him in the matter of seconds. Tears filled up his eyes and rolled down his smooth face, leaving silver trace. Trying to fight back the tears, he almost screamed at J.C.: "I'm sick of this! You hear me?! Sick!! If anything makes me wanna kill myself than it's you guys trying to control every single aspect of my life! I don't give a shit what you think right now, I'm gonna meet this guy! See if you can stop me!" Before J.C. managed to move, Justin was already running out of the room, with tears still streaming down his face. "Justin! Damn it, Justin! Don't do this to me!!" J.C. ran out after him still yelling out his name, like he was hoping that would somehow stop the boy from running out of the house. The door slammed behind him and the room became quiet.
Not even fifteen minutes after after J.C. ran out, the door opened slowly and another blonde boy walked in. He gazed around the room like he was looking for something while still standing close to the door. His emerald eyes were unusually warm at that moment while small painful smile, caused by the messy room made his eyes look even larger, like two ponds reflecting the soft color of the leaves. Spotting the computer, he walked to it slowly and stared at the screen for the longest time. The smile left his face and he sighed pulling out his cell phone. Walking to the window, he dialed a number and cleared his throat before speaking: "Hello,Paul? Yeah, Lance here. No there is no problem...listen,I have a big favor to ask you...No, it's nothing like that. I'm looking for this person...yeah, a guy...No, the only information I have about him is his name and e-mail address...and yeah, he might have killed a person in Martial Arts match...I have no idea, like I said, that's all I know...So you'll do it?...Thanx Paul, I owe you a big one. OK, so the name is Kevin Winslet..." After hanging up, Lance stood in front of the window for the longest time, trying not to thing about anything. It was hard though. His heart was controlling his will, creating a sharp pain in his soul which spread faster than snake poison. He couldn't see the light or smell the rain, although his eyes were wide open and his mind clear. Only thing he was able to see was pair of sapphire-like eyes and face full of childlike wonder. The sun was replaced by golden curls, and smell of rain by smell of early strawberries, smell of Justin. There was a noise coming from down stairs and he snapped out of his thoughts realizing where he was. Walking quickly towards the door, he decided to keep his little investigation to himself until the time was right. Before walking out he turned and looked around the room one more time. Same sad smile showed on his face while he whispered softly: "I love you..." And the room became quiet again.
End of chapter 1