This story is purely fictional and it is not suggesting anything about the sexuality either N'Sync or Backstreet Boys. I am not trying to imply that either one of the band members is homosexual or bisexual. I also do not suggest this story to any one who is offended by erotic homosexual stories, or who is under the age of eighteen.
For the sixth time that week, I woke up sweating. Getting up quickly, I ran to the bathroom and turned on the light. It blinded me for a minute, but soon, I was able to see my face in the huge mirror on the wall across from me. My face was white and scared, still haunted by the nightmare that was now the usual part of my dreams. I frowned, hating the person I saw in the mirror. Large, hazel eyes, surrounded by black circles, were staring at me with horrifying expression, while in the same time were part-hidden by the long black hair. Bruised and deadly pale lips, gave the whole picture a look of a man on his death bed, ready to give his life away just to stop suffering. I turned on the cold water and splashed some of it on my face and shoulders, trying to snap out of the fear. If there was something I hated more than anything, it was being scared. The right thing to do was to go back to bed and try to get some sleep. The room looked dark and unfriendly though, and I had no intention of going through the same nightmare again. 'You're pathetic,' I whispered to the reflection in the mirror. Then turning the water off, I looked at my watch. It was barely five o'clock in the morning. Sighing deeply, I pulled my hair into a pony tail. It was obvious that the night was over for me.
When I walked out of the apartment building two hours later,the sun was already out. The traffic was unusually weak but I barely noticed it. That morning I had a hard time seeing anything. Arriving to the work half an hour early, I got an usual set of hateful glances and sharp remarks from most of the people who worked there. They hated me passionately and I hated them back with the same strength, if not even more. My boss still wasn't there so I slipped into the back of the kitchen trying to surprise Mark, but he already noticed me and smiled widely looking at his watch: "You're early again! You're the coolest dude, that means I can split now?" "Yeah, you can go, I'll take over." His dark face lighted up in a boyish smile, blinding me with perfectly white teeth. Untying the apron, he threw it to me while pulling up his baggy pants: "I can't wait to get out of this fucked up place. Man, I could just kiss you." I stepped back and with slight smile nodded my head: "Yeah, in some other lifetime. Now get lost, I have a work to do." He didn't wait for me to tell him twice. Slamming the door behind him, he left me with apron in one hand and my jacket in the other, with only noise made by the dish washing machine.
The rest of the day passed in a blur. I didn't even try to think about the things I was doing, considering that I did the same thing the day before and will be doing the same thing the day after. i didn't even think about the fact that my life was nothing but a routine; the repetition of things that had to be done which didn't leave much time for anything else. Getting off the work at 6PM, I bought a fish sandwich for dinner and ate it in the car on the way home. When I walked into my apartment around 7PM, it was already dark outside and and it was getting colder with every minute. I changed into my sweat-suit, and getting my disc player with Offspring's "Smash" in it, I took off. The streets were mostly dark and unfriendly, full of suspicious faces, prostitutes of both genders, and gang warnings which I never bothered to read. The two of the largest gangs in the town owned my part of the neighborhood. They never got in my way though, and I didn't have time or energy to wonder why. I could see their faces in the dark and long shadows sneaking past me, but they didn't scare me at all. In some weird way, they were my only friends. Prostitute and homeless didn't approach me either. If any of them needed a place to stay, they'd wait for me in front of my building, and accepted my help knowing that I'll never ask anything in return. I thought of it as just another burden to carry, something I was obliged to do and over which I had no control. After running for what seemed to be an eternity, I turned back and ran back the same way. It didn't matter that I ran the same way every day because I never bothered to look at what was surrounding me. The rest of the world didn't interest me at all, while in the same time the rest of the world wasn't interested in me. It was an easy way to live, with no importance and no real meaning in anything I did or thought. While walking into my apartment building and trying to catch my breath, I was stopped by a black-haired boy, by his build and height barely old enough to be in the High School. He wore a black silk shirt and a pair of khaki baggies that perfectly hugged his slim waist. Blowing in his half-frozen fingers, he looked at me suspiciously: "Kevin? Kevin Winslet?" I nodded taking my earphones off. The boy's black eyes were the only things I was able to see on his face hidden by dark, and they shone like black diamonds. His voice was little shaky but he wasn't scared. Not of me anyway. "Marie sent me. She said you could get me a place to sleep. Only for tonight. I can pay you but I don't have any money, so..." "I don't want anything from you. C'mon." He didn't move, his eyes still suspicious: "You don't want anything from me? Why would you help me then, what's in it for you?" I sighed having to repeat the same story every time: "Nothing. The only reason I'm helping you is because you asked me to. Now you can come with me or you can stay out tonight and hope for the best." We stood looking at each other for a few minutes; like we were listening to the police sirens from the street and the far away yells and screams of the robbed, attacked, and raped people. His face was still hidden by the dark and I couldn't see it no matter how hard I tried. Finally he made up his mind and pushing his hear behind the ears, gave me a I-still-don't-trust-you-look: "I guess I'm coming with you." He made sure to stay few steps behind me and it didn't bother me at all. I knew he wasn't about to stab me in the back, but I also made sure to listen carefully to his steps and moves. While I was unlocking the door, I turned around hoping to catch a glimpse of his face before I let him in, but he was still hidden in the dark. I stepped in, and without turning around, walked through the hallway and into the kitchen. He followed me slowly while his steps clearly showed that he has no intention of getting close to me. Pulling a can of beer from the freezer, I turned around and looked at his face under the light. All of the sudden, my legs weakened and I had to hold on to the table just to stay on my feet. I knew that face. The black eyes and the hair, high cheek bones, and even the body build. I thought I was dreaming, that my mind was playing some cruel game with me, or that I've finally gone completely mad. He just stood there looking around the kitchen but his body was still tense, like he was about to run out at any minute. I tried to come to my senses before saying anything. There was no ay in hell that could have been him. The person he reminded me of was dead, and dead people can't come back to haunt me, no matter how much right they had to do it. Taking a sip of beer, I asked him, trying to make my voice as nonchalant as possible: "What's your name?" He looked at me piercing me with his eyes: "Daniel." I felt like something hit me in the stomach and left me without any air at all. It was impossible, there was no way that could've been him. I even considered the idea that he might have survived, but he wouldn't look as young as the boy in front of me did. At least two years passed since he had died. I cleared my throat, deciding to get the truth on open: "No it's not." "What do you mean it's not?" "Daniel is dead. Who are you?" He turned away. I didn't think he was gonna cry, but it was obvious that I asked something I wasn't supposed to. I wasn't about to back down though, and pulling another beer from the freezer, I placed it on the table in front of him while I sat across from him: "Why don't you sit down and relax. You can take you jacket off and get something to eat from the fridge. Then you can tell me why do you walk around pretending to be some dead guy." He sat down at the table and opened the beer, looking somewhere through me: "Because...because that guy was my brother." Then everything started falling together like pieces of the puzzle. I looked at him more carefully and started noticing the small differences between his and Daniel's face. daniel had a cruel looking mouth and beautiful teeth, while the boy in front of me had a full rose-bud shaped lips and unperfect teeth. Judging from his clothes and the way he handled himself, I was sure that he lived on the streets for at least a year. %Taking another sip of beer, I tried to calm down my stomach which threatened to come up at any minute: "What's your real name?" "Brian." He looked at me like he just realized something and then asked suspiciously: "How do you know Daniel?" I wasn't about to tell him the truth. I wasn't ready for it. Instead I kept sipping the beer and avoiding his eyes: "I worked in the Arena 14. I was there when...when he was killed." His voice came out shaky but this time out of the anger that lit up his eyes like fires of hell: "When that...that dirty son of a bitch killed him." I twitched, shoving my fingers into the can, knowing that I deserve everything he says and so much more. his look showed the kind of pain that tears up your heart and soul leaving you you to bleed to death. I wanted to tell him something, to comfort him, but I knew I had no right to. I also knew that it wouldn't make much difference or change the way he feels. Just as it didn't make any difference when people did it to me. Pain can't be pushed away as easily as that. He kept on talking with such hate that it partly scared me: "I'm gonna find him sooner or later. I'm gonna make him listen to everything that happened to my family and me, make him feel guilty for destroying everything I have, and then...then I'm gonna kill him just like he killed my brother. In the cruelest, most inhuman way." I knew I deserved that too. His pain tore me apart. I knew that I should tell him right then who I am and what I did, but I couldn't. There was no strength left in me for something like that. Instead I just listened to his voice, while his words ripped my heart into little pieces. "After Daniel was killed, there was no one to support my mom and me. She worked two jobs already. The only reason she let Daniel compete in the first place was the hope that he'll win the prize in money, so that she could send us back to school...after he died we ended up on the street. My mom died last winter. We slept outside and she froze to death." With his last words his voice cracked and he got quiet for a moment. He still wasn't about to cry though. Taking a sip of beer and clearing his throat, he continued talking like he was telling me about stock market: "When she died, I got a job at Steven's Corner. I met Marie last month, when we almost killed each other over some rich customer." While saying that, slight smile flashed on his face, but it disappeared as fast as it came. "Just few weeks ago, I found out that filthy bastard who killed Daniel actually lives around here somewhere. I've been trying to find him ever since, and started screwing up on the work. Now Steven's gang is after me. They threatened to shove knife in my throat tonight, so I couldn't stay on the street..." "Do you know his name?" He looked at me for a second like he has no idea what I'm talking about. Then he looked at the can, squeezing it angrily: "No. I don't even know what he looks like. But there's someone in the Wolves who does, and he's ready to spill out everything he knows for some money." That was it, I was busted. I knew that I couldn't hide there forever, but this somehow came sooner that I thought it would. I stood up and threw the empty can in the trash. The life was getting complicated again. "You can stay here for the night but I want you gone in the morning. I don't want any pathetic pimp at my throat. If anyone asks, you don't know me and you never met me, OK?" he nodded and I had a feeling that he did this before but under slightly different circumstances. "There is food in the fridge, and some more beer in the freezer. The bathroom is down the hall, last door on the right. You can stay in the room right across from it." I looked at his clothes more closely and noticed that were worn out and ripped in few places, and then sown back together with an unskilled hand. "You can look through the closet and find some new clothes. Those won't last much longer." I grabbed another beer and started out the door. For some weird reason, I knew that he wasn't gonna steal anything. He came to kill me and I trusted him with my life. "I'll be in my room right across from the kitchen. I f you need anything you'll find me there. Just remember, I want you gone in the morning." He nodded again and and just as I was about to walk out, he mumbled so quietly that I barely heard him, but I still knew what he said: "Thank you." I stopped for a second, and then walked out pretending that I didn't hear him.
I went to bed around midnight. There was so many things I had to do and so many things I had to think about, that I wasn't able to calm down. It was obvious that I couldn't stay in the same town any more, which meant that I had to pack up and leave as soon as possible. There was no way in hell I was going to wait for him to find out who I am. If it ever came to fighting, I would've let him kill me rather than fight back. I never even dreamed about the chance that he might forgive me. Why would he when I can't even forgive myself. To avoid either situation, I had to leave, and it had to be as soon as humanly possible. Finally around 1AM, I shut down the lights and decided to try and get some sleep.
I stood in a complete darkness, trying really hard to move. My legs and arms were numb and I couldn't feel them or see them. I tried to scream out but there was no air for me to breathe in. While my lungs were bursting, pain shoot through my head and I faded into the dark. Feeling breath of air on my face, I opened my eyes slowly and came face to face with an angel. There was a slight smile on his childish face while his eyes, color of the sea, seemed to look all the way into my soul. Soft smell of strawberries filled my nostrils, and his face blocked my view completely. The beautiful blonde curls that surrounded his face, looked like they held all of the sun rays in them, threatening to blind me. All of the sudden, the smile disappeared from his face and he looked at me frowning. His voice, soft and gentle like the music of the wind, had a hint of pleading in it: "Help me..." I reached to touch his smooth face, and he pulled back disappearing from my view. I wanted to stand up and look foe him, but my body wasn't listening to me. Then there was touch of something soft on my neck. It took me a while to recognize what it was. It was a kiss, and it was to gentle and warm that I let it happen.
I opened my eyes finally awake. As soon as i realized that I'm in my room, pair of soft lips pressed against mine and the heat took over. There was a warm, slim body pressed against mine, and pair of hands skillfully pulled my shirt off, caressing my chest and making their way down to my stomach. Without thinking, I parted my lips allowing his tongue in, brushing his lips with mine. I wrapped my hands around him and rolled on top of him grinding our crotches together. He moaned softly in my mouth and wrapped his legs around my waist, slipping his hands inside my boxers. The room was hot and dark, and I couldn't see the face below me. It didn't matter. I was kissing my angel, feeling his hands hungrily roam my body and his lips move down my neck trying to get lower and lower...Then the car light from the street flashed through the room, and I saw his face. "What the fuck!?!" Jumping of the bed, I turned on the light facing him angrily: "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" He sat up in the bed looking at me with no emotion whatsoever. He was very good at playing cool. His shoulders were shaking though, and I felt sorry for him. He tried to keep his voice as calm as his face was: "I'm paying you." "I told you I don't want anything from you. Right now I want you to leave." "You're throwing me out?!" There was half shocked, half scared expression on his face, while he quickly got off the bed: "You can't throw me out now, they're looking for me! They're gonna kill me! I just wanted to thank you, I didn't think you'd mind..." "Well I do mind. I'm not gonna throw you out though, I don't want your death on my conscience. I want you out of my room; right now." He picked up the shirt he threw on the floor few minutes earlier, and brushed his hair with his fingers. Although I tried not to, I gazed over his half-naked body before he put his shirt back on. Although he was extremely skinny, he didn't look weak or anorexic. His body was strong and flexible, muscular but in the same time soft like velvet, and warm like sand along ocean beach. There was a tattoo of a black dragon on his left shoulder and it almost made my stomach come up again. It was like I was looking at Daniel, only younger but in the same time a lot more experienced. He started towards the door and then turned around again, smiling and giving me a little confused look: "You know, you're the first one that complained since I started working. I just thought I'd tell you." "Who said anything about complaining." His smile became wider and I couldn't help but to smile myself: "Get lost now." He got out of the room quickly, still smiling. Getting back into the bed, I realized that I can still smell him on the covers and pillows. At that point I was 100% sure that there was no way for me to go back to sleep.
End of chapter 2