The Blooming of the Black Rose
By The Raven
Chapter I
It was 6:00 a.m. when my alarm clock sounded. God, I hate that thing. Every morning I have to hear that stupid thing squealing in my ear. And to top it all off, it was a Monday. Joy.
Some people say that life is a gamble. If this is true, it makes me wonder what kind of sick joke life chose to play on me. I'd like to know why I was dealt such a shitty hand. This weekend, by far, was the worst weekend in my long sad history of bad weekends.
I, like many boys my age, had been struggling to find myself. I mean, who I really am. I had only recently admitted to myself that I was gay, and once I had, I realized how obvious it was all along. I guess I had really known I was gay for a long time, but I couldn't let myself see it.
Wait, I think I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me tell you a little about me. My name is Jonathan Masters, or just Jon. I am five foot, six inches, and I weigh in at around one hundred seventy-five pounds. I have black hair, which I always spike, and cold, piercing blue eyes.
Well, like I said, this weekend was horrible. My best friend is Dave Reynolds. Or, maybe I should say, was Dave Reynolds. Dave and I had been friends for years. The only secret between us was that I'm gay. I decided on Saturday to tell him that secret. He didn't take it too well.
We were at our favorite hang-out place, the Laurel Park Mall. We were eating lunch at a pizza place that was empty, except for us. I will never forget the look of disgust on his face as he stood up and began walking away from me. I quickly got up and rushed over to him, trying to stop him from leaving. He punched me in the stomach with all his strength, and I collapsed to my knees.
So, there I sat, gasping for breath, wondering why I had been so fucking stupid.
"GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED AND GET READY FOR SCHOOL!" my father yelled, awakening me from my flashback. I got up, and grabbed some clean clothes. I took a fast shower and got dressed. I put on my black khakis and my favorite shirt, a black Linkin Park (greatest band ever) shirt. I put on a black dress shirt, unbuttoned, over it.
Ah, yes. If I assume correctly, today should be the Monday from Hell.
I walked downstairs, and my father was waiting.
"What the Hell took you so long? Now I'm going to be late," he growled. I was beyond caring anymore. I grabbed my band jacket and followed him to the car. It was cold this morning.
Ten minutes later I was ascending the steps outside that lead to the "band room door", which was essentially just a door by the band room, but that's what we called it anyway. I was depressed this morning, if you couldn't tell already.
"Jon!" I knew who it was even before I turned around. Andrea Grey, Dave and I have been friends forever. If Dave told anyone, Andrea would be on the top of a very long list.
I entered the school before I stopped to let her catch up.
"Hey, Jon. You okay?" she asked. Why was I expecting her to say that?
"Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?" I decided to play it safe. She saw through it.
"Alright, Jon, let's stop this game. Dave told me what happened on Saturday. Is it true, or has he just been spreading a bunch of bullshit?" she asked. She was a master of hiding her inner emotions. I had no idea what she was thinking.
I moved in closer to her, and let her look at the dark rings under my eyes. I looked like I hadn't slept in months
"Oh, he told you what happened on Saturday? Did he also tell you that he hit me and left me gasping for breath and crying on the floor in the middle of the mall? Did he tell you that he abandoned me when I needed someone the most? Yes, Andrea, it's true. I'm gay. I've slept about two hours this whole weekend, it feels like my world is collapsing around me, and my whole fucking life is over. I'm about to break. And I can't take much more of this!" I replied. By the time I was finished talking to her, I was crying almost uncontrollably. Now, that's something I haven't done in a long time.
To my surprise, Andrea pulled me into a tight hug. She let me cry on her shoulder.
"Hey, it's alright. Everything's going to turn out okay," she said.
"You don't hate me for hiding this from you?" I asked her. I was expecting her to leave me standing there like Dave had done.
"Don't worry about it. Sure, I'm a little upset that you couldn't trust me enough to tell me, but I understand why you didn't. You took a big risk telling Dave. But I could NEVER hate you, Jon," she said with a sympathetic smile.
At that moment, the bell rang, signaling that we had five minutes to get to class. It also broke the thick tension between us. We both smiled and said our goodbyes and parted.
My first three classes were fairly uneventful. After third hour, I had lunch. I entered the cafeteria and headed in the direction of the table I usually eat at. Dave, and a few of my friends were already there. Our cafeteria was way too overcrowded. Every day it was a struggle to get a chair.
As I approached our table, one that I was always welcome at, I saw that Dave and my "friends" were giving me looks of pure hatred. At that moment I felt like my life was over. I walked passed them and walked toward an empty table. As I passed them, I heard Dave say, "Yeah, that's right. Fags can't sit at our table."
I found a chair, and sat alone at the empty table. I started eating my lunch, but I didn't really feel like it. A few minutes later, Andrea walked into the cafeteria. She looked at "our table", then scanned the cafeteria. When her eyes locked on mine, she headed toward me.
"Hey," she said as she sat down. I nodded. I didn't really feel like talking. "You okay?" she asked. I nodded again and looked away.
"So, does everyone know yet?" if anyone could answer that, she could. She was never the type to hang around a bunch of girls and gossip, but she was an expert at eavesdropping.
"Pretty much," she answered. She always told me the truth straight out. She would never sugar-coat anything. "When Melancholy found out she hit the roof," she said.
Melanie Down was your classic over dramatic cheerleader. She suffered from severe bouts of depression, and had to see a psychiatrist twice a week. I guess that explains the nickname. And to make matters worse, she's had a crush on me for a long time.
"Well that's surprising," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "How bad was it?"
"By the time she stopped yelling, the whole class knew. It's spread from there. And Dave's telling everyone he knows...and everyone that he thinks you know," she said. If my spirits could be any lower, I think the floor would crack under pressure. Now it's official. My life is over.
"Damn it!" I screamed. People at tables near us stopped talking and glanced at me. Then they turned and continued with their conversations without a second thought. That's life at Stevenson High for you. Someone has an emotional breakdown and no one even cares.
I got up quickly, toppling my chair over in the process. I ran out of the cafeteria. I wouldn't let them see me cry. I wouldn't let them have the pleasure of knowing that they made me crack. As soon as I was out of sight, I let the tears flow.
The way my school is built, there is a hallway between the band room and the side of the auditorium. The side doors of the auditorium are built into a little alcove, and when sitting against the wall in the alcove, you are out of sight of people that walk by the hallway. I've used this hallway's privacy many times.
The only problem is that it is directly across from my band director's office. But, I've used it so often that he knows that I need to be alone, and he respects that.
A few moments later Andrea found me. Well, I can't really say found me, because she was expecting me to be here. I guess she knows me too well.
"You gonna be alright?" she asked.
"I just...." I started. Tears went down my face. "I gotta get out of here." I said. I got up and ran out the door. I didn't stop until I got to a small park nearby.
After I calmed down quite a bit, I just sat at the empty park thinking. At about 2:15, the time school gets out, I decided to make my way back home.
When I got there, my mom was waiting.
"Why weren't you in any of your afternoon classes?" she asked me.
"I just had to be alone for a while. I can't explain it, mom," I replied. My mom was usually an understanding type of person. But she had an explosive temper.
"Does this have anything to do with the thirty-three messages left on the answering machine?" she asked. Shit.
"I don't know, what did they say?" I asked, even though I already knew.
"Go and see for yourself," she said. I walked into the living room and pressed play on the machine.
"DIE FAGGOT!" the first message said.
"Burn in Hell, FAG!" the second message said. I'd heard enough. I slammed my finger into the stop button. But I couldn't stop the tears. I fell to my knees, too emotionally drained to support myself any longer.
"WHY?!?!?!?" I screamed as loud as I could. Then it became too much for me. I passed out before my head hit the carpet.
When I awakened, I had no idea what time it was, or how long I'd been out. I was in my bedroom, on my bed with all the covers pulled up on me. I had a damp cloth on my forehead, and my shirt had been removed. How embarrassing.
I glanced over at the clock. 6:30 p.m. That's just great, my dad usually gets off work at around 4:30, so he's been home for two hours, and probably already knows. If there was a way I could disappear, believe me, I would have.
After what seemed like an eternity of wallowing in my own self-pity, I heard someone climbing the stairs. Moments later my mom poked her head in the doorway.
"How you feeling?" did I detect a hint of dejection in her voice?
"My life is ruined, how would you feel?" I responded. "Does dad know?" I asked.
"I didn't say anything to him," she said. That made me feel at least a little hopeful. "But with the constant phone calls, I don't think that he could have missed it." I felt my hope drain away. And despite my furious efforts to stop it, I once again lost control of the floodgates.
And as I lay there, once again battling the tears, my mother didn't even try to comfort me at all. When she walked away from me, I knew, right then and there, what it felt like to be completely and utterly alone.
Soon, I became emotionally drained once again. When sleep came, I didn't fight it. But, as it seemed, as soon as I was peacefully asleep, I was awakened by that damned alarm clock. A bittersweet reminder of how much of an asshole life can be.
I got up, and started another nightmarish day. I showered, got dressed, and went through the same routine I'd done countless thousands of times before.
I walked downstairs, and found that my dad had decided not to wait on me, and was already in the car. The whole ride to school, my father didn't say a word to me. That alone felt like a kick in the teeth.
School went pretty much as it always has, besides the fact that everyone who I'd known wouldn't even look at me. Nothing major happened for the remainder of the school day.
After the bell ending sixth period, history, I wanted to get out of there as soon as I possibly could. I walked down the hall, ignoring the whispered comments and the insults. I turned the corner to find Sean Brown standing in front of my locker. Shit.
Sean was the classic football jock. Six foot three inches tall, two-hundred ten pounds, all muscle. Biggest homophobe in the school. And I mean that literally, the BIGGEST in the school. And to top all of it off, standing with him were two of his fellow jock friends. This was bad.
Before I even had the chance to turn the corner and walk away, I heard Brett Mathews say, "There he is!"
"Who?" asked Karl MacDonald. Karl wasn't exactly the brightest guy in the world.
"The faggot, you dumbass!" Sean said. There was no turning back for me now. Sure, I could run, but that would leave me with no dignity at all.
"What the Hell do you guys want?" I asked, surprising them. They expected me to cower in fear. I'd stopped doing that a long time ago.
As I looked around me, I noticed that there were a lot of kids still here, even though we all could leave. The only time this happened is when they expect a fight. And quite a crowd had gathered already.
After Sean's initial surprise, he looked more pissed off than he already had. "Shut up, fag. We don't want your kind in our school," he said.
I didn't even see it coming. Karl's fist slammed into my side hard, causing the air to leave my lungs. Then I felt another fist, I don't know who's, connect with the side of my face. I hit the floor.
"Faggot...." Sean said as he kicked me again and again in the stomach. I coughed up blood. My head felt as though it were spinning, and I could feel unconsciousness approaching. I didn't see who, but someone kicked my head, and I passed out, lying with my face in my own blood.
About three hours later I awoke in my room, lying on my bed. Andrea was sitting in a chair next to my bed.
"Hey," she said when she noticed I was awake. "How are you feeling?"
"Guess," I answered. "How long was I out?"
"About three hours. You were released from the hospital an hour ago. The doctor said that you shouldn't go back to school for at least a week, because of a concussion," she said.
"Well, that's good news," I joked.
"Not really," she said seriously. "You won't be going back for that long anyway. You've been suspended for fighting."
"PLEASE tell me you're joking?" I asked.
"Sorry. Sean and his drones just said that you started it. They got a week suspension too."
"Goddamn it, I get attacked and they punish me for it. I hate this fucking school," I said.
"Hey, calm down. At least you're not dead," she said.
"Actually, that sounds like a pretty good idea right about now," I said coldly.
She was silent. She thought I was joking at first, but when she realized I was serious, she looked horrified.
"Don't you even think about it!" she said. "If I find out you even think about that again, I'LL beat you senseless!" that made me laugh. Then she joined me, and we couldn't stop until we both had tears in our eyes. She always knew how to cheer me up.
"Well, I'd better get going. Your parents will be home soon, and I don't want to get in the way of the interrogation," she said, jokingly.
"Alright. See ya later," I said.
She was right, and we both knew it. As soon as my parents got home they'd ask me a trillion questions. They'd accuse me of doing this, and that. That's the way it's always been. And I was NOT looking forward to it.
Hey everyone. well, heres chapter one of my new story. please note that this is a completely different story. if some things sound similar to vindicator, thats only because this is what i had set out to do in the first place. thats all for now. keep reading!!!! The Raven***