Disclaimer: Anything mentioned in this story is complete fiction. The sexuality of anyone in the story is not necessarily true, but just written to entertain. If you are underage or if it is illegal to read pornographic material where you live, please leave now. Also, if you are uncomfortable with gay relationships, you should not read any farther. For everyone else, enjoy the show....
"No!" he screamed.
JC woke up with a start, thrashing at the sweat soaked sheets that entwined him. He jumped out of bed, naked and panting, trying to catch his breath. He closed his eyes and breathed in the cool air of the hotel room deeply, leaning against the wall. He looked back at the damp rumpled bed that he had spent half the night tossing and turning in. He wasn't sure how many more nights he could take those damn nightmares.
He pulled on a pair of plaid boxers and walked barefoot to the door. He opened it a crack and peeked his head out, looking both ways. After making sure the hallway was clear he closed his door and walked across the hall. He knocked loudly and soon heard movement and a few muffled curse words.
"What?" Justin wined stomping his sock covered feet on the carpeted ground like a child having a tantrum in a toy store.
His eyes were still closed and he looked as though he was sleepwalking.
JC couldn't help but smile at the half clothed singer.
"Can I bunk with you, Jay? I can't sleep in that room anymore."
At the sound of JC's voice Justin's eyes opened widely.
"Yeah sure," he said stepping back from the doorway.
JC entered and walked towards the bedroom.
"What's wrong with your room?" Justin asked following him.
JC shrugged, "Just didn't feel right I guess."
He had thought about telling Justin about the nightmares for a while now. After all they were supposed to be the best of friends. It just seemed so stupid to him though. He didn't want the younger man thinking he was a wimp or anything. The dreams may have scared him out of his skin when he was sleeping; but awake they almost seemed like nothing at all.
"Josh?" Justin said already lying in bed. "Are you sure your okay?"
"Yeah," he said lying down next to his friend. "I'm fine."
Justin smiled weakly and turned off the light. JC had been acting strange since they started writing the new album. With their first recording session in three days, he needed to be on his A game. Something seemed to be distracting the soulful singer, Justin thought as he looked at the dark form of his friend lying next to him. He knew that there was something wrong but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. He wondered why JC wouldn't just tell him, confide in him like he did with everything else.
JC turned slightly as he tried to get more comfortable in the big bed.
Justin sighed to himself and turned away from the man. If he looked at his shadowy silhouette any longer there was no telling what he would do. JC could be the smartest guy in the world at times, but when it came to love he was a complete idiot. Justin wondered if the man would ever figure out how much he cared for him and wanted to be with him.
None of the guys knew Justin's sexual preference and he didn't really care to let them in on the secret quite yet. He was confident though that when the time came they would accept him for who he was, at least that's what he prayed for every night.
Justin let all of the worries melt away from his mind and concentrated on the warmth he felt radiating off of the man next to him. He drifted off to sleep relishing the fact that he was sharing his bed with his one and only true love.
~ ~ ~
"Good bye Reno!" Chris said loudly as the private jet took off. "God, it's going to be good to be home again. Who's bright ass idea was it to finish writing the fucking album in fucking Nevada, anyway?"
"Um, it was your fucking idea Chris," Lance said, not even glancing up from his magazine.
"Yeah well it sucked," he said walking to the back of the jet.
"What crawled up his ass?" Justin asked.
"Oh he lost about ten thousand dollars at the tables," Joey said nonchalantly.
"Seriously?" JC asked looking up from the cards in his hand.
"Yep," Joey said laying down his cards face up on the table. "Gin."
JC looked confused for a moment, looking from his cards to the ones on the table.
"We're playing gin?" he asked finally.
Joey laughed, "Yeah Jayce what did you think we were playing?"
"I don't know," he said yawning and throwing his cards down. "I didn't get much sleep last night."
"Girl's keeping you up huh?" he asked grinning.
JC laughed, "No, there were no girls Joe."
Joey said some slightly witty comment but JC didn't really hear it. He thought back to the last time he had actually had sex...it was a while ago, a long while. There had been this sort of surge in his mind and heart about a year ago that made him want to find the woman of his dreams, get married, and have kids. At that point it had been the sooner the better. When Mrs. Right hadn't come along quick enough he gave up. Well he wouldn't really say that he gave up since quitting had never been an attribute used to describe JC. Maybe it was more that he just got tired. Tired of the dating scene, tired of trying to find someone who didn't want him for his money or his fame, tired of the long string of bad dates and worse relationships. He wanted someone who wanted him just because he was Joshua, a great guy from Orlando.
He sighed and looked up to find Justin staring at him. JC smiled thinly and excused himself from the main room. Justin knew that something was going on with him; JC could sense it. They seemed to have always had this weird six-sense sort of relationship from the time they had first met. The time Justin had gotten into a car accident in L.A. JC had known that something was wrong with him even though he was back home in Orlando at the time.
JC rubbed his face distributing the cold water he had just thrown on it to his forehead and chin. He shook his head and laughed at himself in the mirror, after drying his face on a towel. Sometimes you just had to laugh at yourself. He had never been the "woe is me type" and he certainly didn't intend to start now. The poor little rich boy act got old real quick with him.
"You okay Josh?" Justin asked through the closed bathroom door.
"Yeah I'm fine," he said opening the door and smiling brightly at the man.
Justin immediately smiled back. A wave of relief passed over him when he noticed that JC's smile wasn't a fake pop-star smile, but was the real Joshua smile he had grown to love with all his heart over the years. He stood there staring into the man's blue green eyes; they seemed to twinkle back at him underneath JC's arched eyebrows. Justin had to hold himself back from reaching out a hand and touching those three little lines that appeared in the corners of JC's eyes when he smiled, when he really smiled.
"Did you want to get in here?" JC asked inching by Justin.
Being a private jet, there was little to no space down the cramped hallway so their bodies inevitably collided. Justin took in a sharp breath when he felt JC's firm chest against his, their lips were inches apart and he could feel the heat radiating off them.
"Uh no," he said quickly backing up a bit. They weren't face-to-face and chest-to-chest anymore, but they were still pretty close. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
JC held out his hands, "I'm good."
Justin nodded and headed back to the main room with JC at his heels.
Lance and Joey barely glanced up from their magazines, when they entered.
"So who is Justin dating today?" Joey said looking at him over the tabloid.
"Oh God Joe," Justin said placing his hands over his ears, "I don't want to hear it."
"Let's see," he continued not paying him any attention. "A reputable source tells us that one Justin Timberlake, from the boy band Nsync, just may not be a boy for much longer. Seen in the very close company of twins at a downtown New York club, with the likes of Jennifer Lopez, an extremely drunk Sandra Bullock, and singer Beyonce (who didn't mind locking lips with the soulful crooner one bit) it looks like our little wholesome boy next door, Justin, is definitely turning into a womanizing man."
"I've never even met Sandra Bullock," Justin said shaking his head. "And Beyonce kissed me."
"Sure," Joey said raising the magazine back up.
Justin sighed and leaned back in the leather chair. They could always get things so screwed up in tabloids. He wasn't sure if it was just wishful thinking on their part or what. Some of the stories about him were told with such conviction sometimes that occasionally he started believing them too. Coming out to the world wouldn't make anyone cool off, though. They would just have him paired up with Orlando Bloom or Colin Farrell instead of Britney and Janet. Probably even before he could get the words out of his mouth.
~~~
"You can pick any room you want. As far as I know they're all made up," JC said closing the front door. "You know where everything is already."
"Yeah," Justin said following him up the stairs. "Thanks again for letting me crash here for a few weeks."
"That's what I'm here for man. So are you good?" he asked dropping his largest duffel bag just inside his bedroom and turning to face Justin in the hallway.
"Yep I got everything I need."
"Cool. I'm gonna go grab a shower, I smell like airport."
"Okay," Justin said laughing.
He walked into the room across the hall from JC's letting his bags melt off of his shoulders and out of his hands onto the floor. He had thought, just for a split second of course, about taking the furthest bedroom down the hall. But after all this was his normal room when he spent the night so he guessed that no one would be the wiser.
While JC took his shower, Justin went downstairs to get in the hot tub for a bit. He laid back, his head resting on the padded side of the Jacuzzi. Before they left for Reno, about two weeks ago, he had started remodeling his house. He had just bought it and there were things that he wanted to add. A music room, music studio, and dance studio were staples when you were part of a band like this, or any band for that matter. The remodeling would be done in a week or two but Justin was in no hurry to get out of JC's house or presence for that matter. He figured if he couldn't have him for his own then he would at least try to spend as much time with him as possible before he got another psycho girlfriend or even worse a psycho wife.
Sometimes Justin thought about just going against who he was and finding some girl he could halfway tolerate and marrying her. It would be nice to have children one day he thought. Gay couples did adopt and he was sure, if he ever found a good partner, that any adoption agency would be happy to place a kid in his care. He would probably even be able to adopt by himself if he really wanted to one day. But he didn't want to do it alone and he didn't want to do it with just some guy, he wanted to do it with JC. He had pretty much come to the realization along time ago that the only man he would ever love like this would be JC. Obviously that wasn't going to happen though because-
"Hey," JC said walking out onto the back terrace.
-JC wasn't gay.
"Hey," Justin said opening his eyes. He stared at JC as the man walked across the blue tiled floor.
"Do you feel like going out tonight?" he asked sitting on the edge of the hot tub.
"Where?"
"Lance just called and said he wanted to go to Blaze."
"Blaze?" Justin asked with raised eyebrows. "Interesting name."
"It's some new club downtown. Do you want to check it out?"
"Sure. What time did you want to leave?"
He glanced at his watch, "Like an hour and a half maybe?"
"Okay."
"Were you still going to go check on your house tomorrow?"
"Yeah. Did you want to come?"
"Maybe. Stefanie wanted me to come over for a while."
"Stefanie huh?" he said smiling.
"Yeah," JC shrugged.
"Do you like her?" Justin asked glancing down at his hands, which were submerged underneath the bubbling water. He forced himself to look his friend in the eyes.
"I don't know. She's okay I guess," he said standing. "I think I'm going to go change I don't really like this anymore."
Justin laughed. He knew that JC always changed at least three times before they went anywhere. It could be conceived as a sickness really but Justin found it endearing.
"Well get it out of your system now cause I'll be ready in an hour."
"Alright."
~~~
JC laughed loudly. But it wasn't just his usual throaty chuckle. It was an out right full body laugh. His sides even started to hurt as he held onto Justin's shoulder to keep from falling to the dance floor beneath his feet.
"I'm glad to see you're feeling better now," Lance yelled to JC over the music.
"Yeah," he said wiping the tears from his eyes. "Jay's been showing me a good time." He gave him a quick slap on the back. "Want a drink? I'm buying."
"Sure," Justin said. "I'll grab us a table."
JC waved a little as he walked backwards through the mass of writhing bodies, then he turned and went to the circular bar in the center of the room.
"Looked like you were having fun out there," one of the bartenders said to JC, sliding a drink in front of him.
"Oh I didn't order this," he said sliding it back towards him.
"It's what you've been drinking all night. I figured you for the type of guy that sticks with what he likes for a while," he said smiling.
JC gave the man a polite grin and brought the drink up to his lips.
"So are you guys visiting or just hangin' or what?" he asked leaning on the bar in front of JC.
"We live here."
"Oh that's cool. I just moved to Orlando actually. Lived in L.A. all my life."
JC nodded, "Oh can I have a beer too?"
"What's your poison?"
"Corona with a lime."
"Sure thing," he went down the bar for a second and returned with the beer.
"Thanks."
"No problem," he said sliding a slice of lime on the mouth of the bottle. He slid it towards JC. "I'm Mark by the way," he said also sliding his hand out in front of him.
"Josh," JC said pumping the guys hand firmly once.
"Nice to meet you Josh."
"You too," he said reaching in his back pocket for the wad of bills he kept there to tip people and pay for inexpensive things.
"No. It's cool. This one's on the house," Mark said, a hand raised to stop the money transfer.
"Okay thanks," JC said picking up both drinks and walking away from the bar.
"Come back and see me," Mark called after JC.
JC turned around and looked at him blankly.
"You know if you need another drink or something."
JC nodded and smiled politely again raising both the bottle and glass up a little in a toast action. He made his way through the scantily clad smiling women who seemed to sparkle and glitter in their shiny pants and jewel encrusted tops to join Justin at a table across from the dance floor.
"Here you go," JC said sitting Justin's beer in front of him.
"Thanks man," he said lifting his bottle. "Cheers."
They clinked glass to bottle and both took long drinks.
"What were we toasting?" JC asked smiling brighter then Justin had seen him do in months.
"Hmm...well to the new album and old friends," he said with a wink.
JC looked down at the glass between his hands nodding his head to the intoxicating beat that gushed out of the speakers. He looked sideways at Justin for a moment, "I like that one."
As JC and Justin talked, discussing everything from basketball to music to who they wanted to design their clothes for the Grammy's, both of them couldn't help but smile. It was so relaxing and easy for them to talk to each other again. They were able to laugh and poke fun at one another without the unspoken secrets they were both harboring in their hearts and their brains coming between them for even a second.
JC knew that there was no way his friendship with anyone else would ever with stand what Justin and him had been through in the past year or so. They definitely had a bond that could never be broken, bent yes, but never broken
He looked around the club as Justin talked about his high roller poker game with Jim Carry, Ben Stiller, and Ashton Kutcher. The four made for an unlikely group when it came to the high stakes of poker but they always seemed to have fun.
His eyes fell over the masses of convulsing bodies on the dance floor, the pretty blonde who was flirtatiously giggling at one of Lance's not to funny jokes, but paused at the bar where that Mark guy was staring at him.
They were sitting at a table right next to the wall, sort of out of the way of people, so he was definitely looking at JC. Mark's attention switched back to the drink he was making just as quickly as it had slipped up to meet JC's gaze. He smiled beside himself as Mark looked up again, quickly letting his head fall back down to the now over flowing glass. He turned his gaze back to Justin who was animatedly telling him a different story now, with names he couldn't quite place, but was drawn back to the tall muscular man mixing drinks behind the glossy oak counter. Part of him wanted to go over and talk with him again, he wasn't sure why though. Meeting new people had always been one of JC's favorite past times but lately he just wanted to surround himself with his well known and well loved friends and family. He noticed that Justin had gone quiet; not his usual just taking a pause for effect quiet, but he hadn't said anything at all in a few minutes.
"Huh?" JC said looking over at him. There must have been a question that he'd missed.
"I didn't say anything," Justin said leaning back in his chair.
"Oh okay," he said finishing his drink. "Are you about ready to go?"
"Yeah. Should I go try to peel that girl off of Lance, or leave well enough alone?"
JC laughed, "You can try if you want."
"I'll be back," he said standing, beer in hand, and walking towards Lance and his one-woman fan club.
JC sat there looking everywhere but at the bar. He wasn't sure if it was just his brain playing tricks on him or if the burning feeling that he felt all over his face and body really was the eyes of the bartender. He finally decided to look up again but the man was gone. Just as well, JC thought to himself, following Justin's trail to Lance's table. He wasn't sure why he wanted to see the bartender's big brown eyes one last time but JC was positive that he had never seen another man look at him that way before.
To be continued...
** This is my second story here on nifty, the first being Model Me. For all of the Justin and Craig fans out there, Model Me will be continuing on its course as scheduled. I'll be updating these two stories consecutively, so there shouldn't be much of a hold on either story's updates. Please email me at Shannijc@aol.com with any comments or criticisms, or even just to say hi. **