Want

Title: Want. Author: Jezebel the Temptress Feedback: eh_oh_po@yahoo.com

Disclaimers: I do not know any of the celebrities mentioned herein, this has no element of truth to it. This is no reflection on their true sexualities or personalities of Justin Timberlake, JC Chasez, Lance Bass or any others mentioned. If you are underage for your area or if it is illegal for you to look at this why not go somewhere else.

Justin

It was a dream come true for me to have Tim there at my side. I felt a little guilty that night in the dressing room as he told Lance that he was between jobs, I knew that was just his way of saying that he had put his life on hold for me. I wanted Tim at my side though and if he was willing to be there I was not going to try and talk him out of it.

I was glad that we returned to my room that night instead of going out, we were pretty much under orders to rest up for the next day, but I wanted to be with Tim and we didn't have to go out to be together. Not that we had ever really gone out anywhere together, our only real time together had been spent in someone else's house or a hotel. Still, it was good to be together again and I was pretty sure that wherever we were it would always feel that way to be around Tim.

"I'm glad that you came out." I told Tim as we undressed to go to bed. I hadn't really planned on much more than sleeping that night as I had a long day ahead of me and I wondered if Tim would be upset by those plans.

"I'm glad that I could come out here." Tim responded. "I missed you."

I leaned over the bed, reaching for him. It was only supposed to be a kiss but I should have learned my lesson from earlier on in the day.

The next thing I knew I was naked and under Tim who was trying to cover me in kisses while removing his own pants. I didn't think too long on how he managed to do this or the experience that he had. I was concentrating on how good it felt to be back in his arms.

"I love you." Tim said amorously as he continued to cover every inch of me in kisses. I giggled slightly as he licked my collarbone and blew on it. He was teasing me, testing me, and I was heady with the desire that coursed through me. Tim nipped at my neck playfully to stop me laughing and then moved back up so that we were nose to nose.

He kissed me again, deeper this time, more intense and I knew that this was more than playful. This kiss meant business.

My cock was hardening, it had been a long time since I had been with Tim and it had just been me and my right hand for a long time. I couldn't think of anything but the fact that it was Tim that was kissing me, Tim was finally here and he was so much better than any fantasy I could come up with. Even the few times that we had phone sex paled compared to this.

"Oh..." I moaned as Tim moved down my body, I knew what was coming, there was only one destination at the end of his path. He moved down my body, pausing at my nipples to suckle them before continuing to my now leaking cock.

I wouldn't last long. Tim must have known that because he didn't tease me too much, he began sucking almost straight away, licking my head and bathing it with spit before sucking it all down. I knew that Tim knew how to deep throat me, he'd done it that first night and I had been impressed but now it was enough to push me over the edge.

I came down his throat a few minutes after it had started, sated but slightly embarrassed that I had not lasted longer. Tim didn't seem to care, he moved back up and lay next to me. It was only when I reached for him and noticed that he was already spent that I realised that he must have taken care of himself while he was doing me. I don't know why but that seemed to cheapen it somehow, I didn't say anything to Tim but I didn't want him to feel that he had to do this for me, nor that I was unwilling to return the favour. I might be inexperienced but I would have done something for him.

"Shhh..." Tim said, almost as if he could sense what I was thinking. "Sleep now."

"I..." But I stopped, not exactly sure what I should say. "I love you." I told him, for want of something more to say.

"Ditto." Tim replied before snuggling me closer.

It had been a long day and I was soon asleep, Tim followed me soon after and we spent the night in each other's arms safe in the knowledge that at least for that moment everything was right with the world.

When I woke the next morning I was both surprised and disappointed that Tim had already left. It appeared that he was not anywhere in my room. I didn't want to panic, but there was still a level of uncertainty about our relationship that made me feel uncomfortable. Tim wasn't ready for a major commitment and I didn't think that I was in any position to give him something that was permanent but I didn't want to have to wake up each morning with this dread that he might not come back. I showered, trying to keep myself calm and was half way through dressing when there was a knock at the door.

"Justin?" A soft, muffled voice asked. I let out a sigh of relief when I realised that it was Tim.

"Where have you...?" My question stopped in my throat when I saw him, standing in the doorway to my room with two coffees, one in each hand and a bag in his mouth. Tim looked as if he had walked three miles to get this and I let him in.

Tim put the bag on the table and placed the cups down before he spoke.

"I went for a run and stopped off on the way back for breakfast." He told me. "I hope you like donuts."

I didn't like to tell him that I was supposed to avoid junk food while on tour, usually it was cereal or French toast for breakfast, still a treat this once couldn't hurt. I was surprised that he had been for a run though.

"There is a fully stocked Gym in the hotel." I replied as I reached for a donut from the bag that he had brought in.

"And it's fully secured by your staff." Tim replied with a smirk. "Don't worry, a run did me good and I got a chance to clear my head."

"You might need more than a clear head to get through today." I answered. "We've got a long day ahead of us."

Tim frowned slightly and I wondered what was wrong. He put down the donut that he was eating and took a sip of his coffee, almost as if he was formulating his thoughts before speaking again.

"I'm not coming with you today, at least not for the press. It would be too hard to explain why I'm here." He told me.

"Who told you that?" I asked. If it was Josh I was going to kill him, if it was Lance then I would have to ask him to explain it to me. Tim was there to visit me but what use was that if I couldn't actually see him.

"No one." Tim replied. "But we both know that you have to worry about your image and journalists will want to know why I'm there." He said. "Besides, I meant it when I said I had some thinking to do."

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" I asked uncertainly, I really didn't like the idea of leaving him alone on our first full day together but I did have a lot of work and I guessed he was right about the publicity. I was also worried about leaving him alone with his thoughts, who knew what ideas he might come up with on his own. He might decide that it wasn't worth dating me and dump me - it wouldn't be the first time.

"I'll be fine." He said with a smile. "Now, go do whatever it is that you have to do to finish getting ready."

"Now you're starting to sound like Lance." I joked.

"Thanks." Tim said and he seemed to take it as if it was a genuine compliment.

I shook my head and finished my donut before continuing to dress. I was pretty sure that we had a breakfast meeting at 9 so I didn't want to fill up too much. Tim stripped off his shirt and headed for the shower. For a moment I thought about following him in and forgetting about the meeting that I was supposed to go to, but I heard him throw the bolt and knew that he did not want the company. Later Tim would tell me why it was that he didn't like company when he showered, but I didn't think anything of it then.

I headed off to my meeting and left Tim to do whatever it was that he had to. I went through the rest of the day with a spring in my step and had no trouble smiling for the photographers because Tim was there and he would be there when I got back to the hotel. It wasn't much but it was just enough to make the hotel seem a little like home.

Tim

I hadn't really thought much about what I might do while Justin was off playing at being Justin the Popstar, to be honest I hadn't thought much beyond being with Justin. I hadn't lied when I told him that I had stuff to do that day though, if nothing else I had a lot of thinking to do about my life and my future. To say the last few months had been a roller coaster ride would be an understatement, it was as if I had more than my fair share of ups and downs, and I needed some time to just assimilate what it was that had happened and work out where I was with my life. At least being on tour with Justin and having a few weeks with little or nothing to do I would have the downtime that I had craved.

I spent most of that first day on the tour just sorting through the last weeks in my head. I had a lot to work through before I even started trying to plan for the future, there were so many changes and I needed a little time to get used to the fact that I had gone from exotic dancer to professional actor and terminally single to going steady. Adam had warned me that I needed to get an agent and sort things out quickly but I thought that it could wait a few days.

I hung out at the pool, read a book in my room and watched a little TV while I was alone but all through the day I was just wondering what Justin was doing, or what Justin would think of something Carson Daly had said. To be honest most of my thoughts that day were less of myself and more of Justin, he filled my thoughts a lot, I guess that was part of being in love.

I missed him a bit, which was weird because we were used to spending time apart, but I think that it was because I knew that he was in the same city and that I was not there with him. I couldn't wait to see him later in the day.

The evening was very slow in coming.

When it did come I knew that I had missed something in not being with him that day, because things were quite obviously strained. The five men returned earlier than I had expected them, the concert had gone okay, but they were due to have a meeting after it and I think it must have been cancelled. Instead they were supposed to go for a meal, to which I was invited.

I was a little nervous, it was the first time that I was going out with the whole group, and the first time that they would see me for more than a short amount of time. I knew Justin relatively well, and I knew what he had told me about the others, but that didn't equate to actually getting to know them first hand.

I hoped that they liked me.

There was issues with Josh and I didn't want that to be the way that the rest of them saw me. I wanted to be more than a problem that should be dreaded. If I was going to see Justin on a more permanent basis I knew that it was vital to be at least on speaking terms with the majority of the band.

I changed outfit twice, finally settling on an outfit that Adam had bought me for the film. It was nothing much, just a silk shirt that he had bought with me in mind, but I liked it and the colour was good on me. I wore it with the black slacks that I liked so much, they weren't exactly Gucci but they were comfortable and I wanted that over fashion. I couldn't afford an expensive wardrobe but I had enough items that I could bluff it, like most people I had two suits and a few nice outfits for going out. This was one of them.

The knock on my door told me that they were waiting for me so I finished up, spraying on a little aftershave and hoping that I was not sweating too much in nervousness and then opened the door.

I was glad that it was just Justin on the other side.

"Hey." Justin said with a cute little smile. I returned it. "Everyone else is waiting down in the lobby, I said that I'd come up and get you."

"Okay." I replied. I stepped outside, looking around a little and seeing that the coast was clear I leaned forward and gave him a careful peck before pulling the door shut behind me.

Justin's little smile grew into one that made my heart melt. I knew that my kissing him in public made him happy, I just wished that we could do more of it than we would ever be able to.

"Is there anything that I should know about tonight?" I asked. I wanted to know if I was about to face any real hostility or if there was any thing that I ought to know about what happened when Nsync went out.

"We've got a private room booked at a local restaurant." Justin told me. "There will be guards with us, but Travis and Randy are nice and you won't have an issue because you're with us."

"What about the boys?" I asked more directly. "Are they okay with me tagging along?"

"I think they want to get to know you." Justin replied carefully. That told me that most likely they had asked for this meeting specifically for that reason.

I smiled. I guessed that they wouldn't have a problem with the gay thing since three of them were into guys and I hoped that there would be no further issues with Josh. Besides, they had asked to meet me, that had to be a good sign, didn't it?

Justin's warning about security turned out to be right, these were not the men that I had met on my first day and had they been they would have treated me with respect now that I was with the band. It seemed like a double standard, surely they ought to treat everyone with respect, but it was not my place to question that.

The others were indeed waiting for us with the security in the lobby, all of them were dressed semi-casually, I was glad that I had thought to dress up though as it made me more confident within myself. Justin continued to smile at me, giving me the strength that I thought I would need to get through that evening and I was glad that at least I would not be facing this alone. Justin was at my side and it made me more positive about the whole affair.

"So, where is it that we're going?" I asked as we headed to the van that was going to take us to our destination.

No one spoke for a moment, as if they were just realising that I was there with them, then thankfully Lance spoke up.

"Well, Chris had a hankering for steak and chips, and it was his turn to choose so we're off to a steakhouse. We've got a private room too, so we won't be disturbed."

I smiled, grateful that Lance was again being nice to me, I wondered if there was some reason that he did that. Later he told me it was because he remembered what it was like to come into the group and try to fit in, but for now I was glad that he was on my side.

"We need to get out quickly to minimise the chance that the fans will rush the boys, you'll have to keep your head down." One of the security guards said as we approached the doors. "Try not to let them get a photo of you if you don't want to be splashed all over the tabloids tomorrow."

I nodded, he was gruff but I knew that he only had both mine and the band's interests at heart, I did what he said, after all he was the professional here.

We finally got to the van after a little run so that the fans would not crowd the boys too much and when we got there I kept my head down, ducking under one arm so that I was out of sight as much as possible. I knew that if the story broke that I was here I would have to go for Justin's sake, but I really didn't want to have to do that unless I had to. Thankfully no one got a picture of me that day.

The drive to the restaurant was not very long but it was in silence and I wondered if the boys always travelled like this or if there was something that I did not know about going on, if there was then I wondered why Justin hadn't told me. I didn't want to walk into the middle of a war that might have me as one of it's casualties.

Finally we got there and had a similar run from the van into the restaurant, at least there were no fans here, just the chance that someone might see us. Once we were inside at least there was menus and seating to occupy us.

If the entire meal was going to be this taciturn it would not be the easygoing night out that I had expected. I hoped that things would pick up.

Justin

While I had been out that day we had gotten into a discussion about Tim, I knew that it was not fair to Josh for him to be there because he had taken a dislike to Tim but at the same time Tim was my boyfriend and I wanted him at my side. If it had been while I was with Britney none of the others would have minded her being on tour with us.

In the end we had agreed to disagree about him being there and the others had decided to at least give him the benefit of the doubt. That was one of the reasons that we had cancelled the meeting in favour of the meal. The others wanted to get to know Tim and that could only be a good sign.

I was a little worried about their initial reaction though, no one seemed to want to start, maybe because it would look like an interogation.

Looking across the table though I realised that everyone was paying far too much attention to their menus and that there was a definite air of discomfort amongst the group. It wasn't only the other band members that looked awkward either, Tim too looked like he had lost his cool edge.

"So, what did you do today while we were all out working hard?" I asked, wanting to at least start some discussion.

Tim smiled slightly with relief.

"Well, I lazed around by the pool, read my book and just chilled out." He replied. "You know, all of the things that a kept mistress should do." He added softly.

Joey laughed at that and despite their not really knowing him the others all smiled, even Josh smirked slightly at the joke.

"Well, as long as you're honest about the fact that you're using Justin." Joey replied. At first I wanted to defend Tim but then I realised that Joey was smiling and obviously meant it as a joke. I hoped that Tim would take it that way too.

"Of course." Tim said. "I put a high price on honesty."

I knew that there was more than an element of truth to his response. Tim didn't like lies and would not respect someone that had lied to him.

"Do you have any other plans while you're out here?" Lance asked. "Or are you just relaxing before your next project?"

"Actually I have a few things in the works." Tim said, which was news to me but I didn't want to push it in front of the others. "Adam had a few offers on my behalf but really I need to get an agent and sort some things out before I think much more about it."

I watched as Lance's face changed from his open, friendly one to the business demon that he was. I knew that Lance had an idea forming in his head and I wanted to stop him before he spent the rest of the meal trying to talk Tim into doing something for a Happy Place or signing to Freelance. It would hardly bode well for the meal if the others thought that Tim really was trying to muscle his way into the group.

"We had the funniest photo shoot today..." I said and began a tale of how we had been asked to dress up as various characters. Lance was happy to let me talk, but I knew that his idea would come out at some point - I just wanted the others to know Tim a little better first before he became more integrated in all of our lives.

Josh

That first dinner was a nightmare for me. I hated to see the others accepting Tim and seeing him worm his way further and further into our group. Looking back on it now I guess that I was threatened by him, he had taken Justin away from me and now he was moving in on my friends and my life. I couldn't really blame him for it, but back then I did. To be honest I think that I was looking for any reason to dislike Tim and this just gave my hate extra fuel.

The others were all falling under Tim's spell in the same way that Justin had and the last thing that I wanted was for him to feel welcome with us, but there was also the matter of my own guilt. I had promised Lance that I would not cause Justin and Tim any more trouble and I meant it. I didn't want to hurt Justin any more and unfortunately that also meant laying off Tim.

Instead I had to sit and watch as he ingratiated himself into our lives and say nothing. It was tough but Lance had been right when he said that Justin deserved a right to be happy.

To be honest I was glad to get out of there when dinner was finished. I could barely believe it when someone suggested that we make the most of the night off and go out to let off some steam. Didn't they know how hard this was for me?

Tim seemed anxious as someone mentioned a club. I wasn't sure why, at least three-fifths of the band knew that he was a good dancer, but I guess that it was not something that he wanted to draw attention to. Still, Justin had liked him a lot when he was dancing and I had to admit that despite myself I too had enjoyed his show.

"What about Scorch?" I suggested.

I wasn't sure why I was joining in the conversation but I felt that I should contribute and I'd heard about the club from a friend. Lance looked up at me and smiled.

"Sounds hot." He added.

I rolled my eyes at that but was surprised when a couple of the others laughed.

So, we told the driver to head to Scorch, giving him the vague directions that I had from a friend and we were on our way.

Tim

I have to admit that I was surprised when someone mentioned going out that night, I had envisiged us just returning to the hotel and being able to get some quality time with Justin. It was pretty stressful being out with a group of strangers and I wasn't really interested in clubbing with them, but when Josh suggested the club and seemed as if he was making an effort I thought it would look odd if I didn't agree to go. I was getting on okay with the others that night and the last thing I wanted to do was risk that by rocking the boat.

From the outside, the club was exactly the sort of place I would try to avoid if I was famous, it was pretentious, showy and had a queue around the block that meant it must be the place to be. It was also the kind of place that paparazzi would frequent in order to get some scandalous shot of a celebrity leaving the club via the back entrance. Still, if I was going to get used to living in Justin's world there would have to be a little give and take, and I supposed that if I took up the acting life then this would very rapidly become my world too.

Inside things were a little different, there were no podiums or cages that I might have expected and it was all set out as if this were more of a resteraunt than a night club. The music wasn't overbearing and yet was loud enough that you could dance to it. We had already been spotted by security and now a man in a suit, who I guessed was management, came to greet us and show us through to the VIP area.

I decided that I could get used to this if it meant that we could skip queues and get drinks immediately and wondered if this was why the boys came to clubs like this. There was something to be said for star treatment and I suppose it's not all bad.

"Are you okay?" Justin asked as we headed over to the private bar on a separate level to the rest of the club.

"Sure." I replied, touching my hand to his in a familiar gesture, wanting to show him some comfort but knowing that there was not a lot that we could actually do in public.

Justin returned my gesture with a small squeeze of my hand before letting go and ordering a couple of pitchers of beer. I didn't like to mention that I would prefer not to drink. I had to trust that I was with Justin and his friends and that even if I had a little too much that nothing bad would happen. Besides, I would need an excuse if I told Justin I wasn't drinking and now really was not the time to go into my past. He knew enough of the bad stuff, but I worried that if he knew any more that Justin would change his mind about having me here and that was something that I didn't want.

We got a large double booth with a good view of the dance floor and everyone took a seat. Security were at the far end, close enough to step in if there was any danger but far enough away that they weren't in your face. There was a pitcher of beer in the centre of each table, and it flowed freely, obviously if they were up early the next morning they would all know how to cover a hangover.

I think that the only good thing about the alcohol was that it loosened everyone up a little and even Josh, who had been keeping his distance and appeared tense earlier, seemed to have lightened up a bit.

We'd been there about half an hour when Justin decided to dance.

"Come on." He begged as he stood and moved to the music. "It'll be fun."

"Justin, I don't think I want to dance out there." I said, pointing to the throngs of people that were crushed into a small area that was obviously a dance floor. "It looks a little crowded."

"It'll be great." Justin said. "Come on. I know that you've got the moves."

I cringed, I hated to think that he was thinking about the night that we first met, when I had danced for him. That was different to this and I really didn't want to remember it now that I had left that life behind. On a public dance floor there was a whole lot more touching than there had been in the club I worked at. I wasn't sure I could deal with that.

"What would you do if I wasn't here?" I asked.

Surely he would be able to dance on his own.

Justin bit his lip slightly and his eyes flicked to Josh. It was obvious that there was something he didn't want to say.

"One of us would go with him." Josh replied, his voice hollow. "But it's been a while."

I knew what that meant. It meant that they hadn't been since Los Angeles, since the three of them had walked into my club and seen me dance. They hadn't been out since I had come into their lives and irrevocably changed everything. Inexplicably I felt guilty for that even though if there was blame to be laid it wasn't solely at my feet.

"Why don't you go out there now?" I suggested, not looking at Justin but making eye contact with Josh.

Josh looked to Justin who shrugged and took a step away from me. It was obvious that Justin wasn't too happy about it but he wasn't going to say anything to me in front of the others. Josh followed him but didn't smile to me either and I wondered if I had done the right thing. Justin and I would probably be having words when we got back to the hotel.

I sipped my beer, ignoring the conversation going on around us and trying not to worry too much about what I had done. I hadn't really thought much about the rift between the pair but was thinking of myself. I didn't want to dance. I didn't think that I might not be the only one.

"That was nice of you." Lance said as he moved a little closer to me.

He picked up the pitcher of beer to offer me a top up but I shook my head. If there was going to be trouble I wanted to keep a clear head, and it would be the same if I wanted to talk to Justin before bed.

"I didn't do it for Josh." I replied. "I just didn't want to dance." I replied. It was the truth after all. In fact, had I thought of it I doubt that I would have let Justin go off alone with Josh. It was not as if I had good experiences of it being just Josh and me.

"Well, whatever the reason it was nice of you to let them go together. I think that Josh feels a little out of place now that you're here. He was Justin's best friend and now he's been relegated to second place." Joey put in.

I wondered if they were going to gang up on me now that Justin was away, but I was pretty sure that I could trust at least Lance to watch my back.

I didn't want to reply to that, because most of me was screaming out to say that Josh deserved all that he got, but I was not about to say that to three of his best friends. From the look on Lance's face he too was thinking that.

"It would be good if they could get on again." I allowed. "I wouldn't want to cause any problems between Josh and Justin, especially not ones that will continue after I'm gone."

"Funny you should mention that..." Lance said and in doing so not so subtly changing the subject. "I wanted to ask how serious you are about looking for an agent. I might know of someone..."

And as Lance continued to tell me about his film company and his management firm I listened intently and was again glad that he was on my side. Anyone with this amount of drive and passion working against you would be your end, because something told me that Lance was not the type to give in easily.

As Lance outlined his plans for future expansion and I assumed eventual world domination, I let my eyes wander out to the dance floor. I was a little worried about Justin and while I was almost certain that nothing could happen to him in public it didn't stop me from feeling a little overprotective. When I found him I was surprised by what I saw.

Justin and Josh were holding court with a few girls around them, the pair of them were dancing close with each of the girls in turn, not paying too close attention to anyone in particular and having a great time. It was not Justin dancing with the girls that made me anxious, I knew that this was probably mostly for show because despite the fact that he was gay he had to appear straight, what worried me was the look of naked lust in his eyes. The look that was aimed at Josh. I wondered if Justin was always like this in a club, I knew that there were some people that were always affected in this way by the rhythm and press of sweaty bodies, but there was a niggling thought at the back of my mind that said it could be more. If it was then I was in trouble.

"...so, if you want me to represent you, or if you'd be willing to look over a few projects then I would be glad to have you onboard." Lance said, summing up his long speech.

"I'll think about it." I replied distractedly before taking a long drink of my beer and then standing.

"You okay?" Lance asked.

"Yeah, just going to see if Justin still wants that dance." I replied as I headed out to the dance floor. I didn't see Lance looking down at the dance floor and noticing exactly what I had seen, later he would tell me that I had not imagined the look in Justin's eyes.

Justin

I have to admit that I was surprised when Tim encouraged Josh to go dancing with me, I knew how he felt about Josh and I knew that it can't have been easy for him to make this move. It was kind of him though, the sort of selfless act I had come to expect from him, and I was glad of it when Josh and I were out there.

I remembered better times when Josh, Lance and I had all gone out together and would party the night away. Of course most of the time we couldn't take anyone home because of who we were and how it might affect our careers but that didn't stop us having a good time and we had the excuse to fall back on that we preferred gay clubs because we didn't get hit on so much.

It felt good to get back a little of what had been missing in the last few months. Despite the fact that there were girls around us they all fell away and I could pretend as I had in my youth that it was just me and my best friend. Josh and Justin against the world, just as it always should have been.

We had been out there long enough that I had lost track of the songs we had danced to when I felt a hand on my hip that traced across my chest and came to rest on my abs. Most of the girls that we were dancing with had kept a respectable distance, but this one obviously needed a little guidance, so I looked down to move the hand and saw that it was distinctively masculine. I looked up to Josh, raising an eyebrow and he was whiter than he had been, the joy that had been there disappearing.

I turned and saw that it was Tim. He had obviously decided to join us after all.

"Hi." I said with a big grin, high from the adrenaline that was cursing through my body from the dancing, and the fact that life couldn't get much better than this. "You want to dance?"

"Yeah, but not here." He replied in a deep, lascivious tone that went straight to my cock. I knew what he meant and I felt a shiver of anticipation as I thought about it. "Do you want to get out of here?"

"Sure." I said quickly.

"Thanks for looking after my guy." Tim said to Josh, and as he did so a look passed between them, I didn't really understand what it was but there was a message passed between them and both of them seemed to get it. I hoped that at least it was one of mutual respect and not a threat. I wasn't sure that I could cope with any more drama in my life.

I put those thoughts out of my mind and instead tried to concentrate on the fact that Tim had just come onto me and I was going to get lucky that night.

Hell, with Tim in my life I was lucky every night.

We headed back to the hotel, leaving the others at the club because the night was still relatively young. Joey and Chris would probably roll home after closing with a couple of girls and Josh and Lance lamenting the fact that they couldn't bring anyone home. I had more important things to think of though. I was going to get laid.

Tim was surprisingly quiet in the car on the way back to the hotel, I assumed that it was because he was completely focused on what he was going to do to me when we got back, or at least I hoped so. Looking back on it now I realise that he had other things on his mind but back then I was running on a mixture of the buzz of the beer and the adrenaline of our dancing. I was hot and horny and ready for almost anything. There was little else on my mind.

I was on Tim as soon as we were in the relative privacy of the elevator. Thankfully there was no camera in there or we might have been outed a lot earlier than we wanted. I pushed Tim against one wall and then proceeded to force my mouth to his in an aggressive kiss.

If Tim had been unclear of my intentions before hand he would know what they were now.

Somehow Tim managed to control the kiss enough that I spent more of my time concentrating on what his tongue was doing than my original plan to undress him or we would have scandalised any of the other people that were in the hotel. We may have booked the place out but there was no one on the crew that I would want to know about how I liked to do it.

We made it back to my room in one piece and I reluctantly let Tim go just long enough to open the door, still, while he was working on the lock I was nuzzling his neck and rubbing my already hard cock against his ass. He sighed and pulled away as he managed to open the door.

"Justin, at least wait until we're inside." He reasoned, pulling me inside and then shutting the door behind me. "Anyone would think that you are impatient."

"I am." I replied anxiously.

Tim laughed softly and then drew me towards the bed, undoing my clothes on the way over. I didn't want to think that he was probably practised at this, it angered me to think about Tim's past when we were together, so instead I tried to focus of the feel of his hands on my chest as he divested me of my shirt and then moved his way down to my pants.

I wasn't used to being passive and wanted to help him with his clothes as well but when I tried my hands were batted away and he continued to undo my pants.

"You first." Tim insisted, finally managing to rid me of my pants and underwear and then finally removing my socks. Now that I was completely naked, Tim urged me back onto the bed and then stepped back to undress himself.

At first I thought that I would be treated to a private dance, but he disrobed in a perfunctory fashion, taking no time to get naked. I was glad really, there was a time for seduction and a time for fucking, this was definitely the latter. If Tim had gone for gentle and slow love-making I don't think that I would have lasted.

Tim was nude in a moment, then he moved up the bed towards me, placing random kisses from navel to nose.

"You were a bad boy outside." Tim said softly against my lips. "I couldn't do anything about the hard on in my pants, and yet you insisted on reminding me of it."

I couldn't reply to this, the teasing tone in his voice told me that I was going to get it now, and perhaps not in a good way.

"I should punish you." Tim said. "I should draw this out indefinitely, and believe me, I know just enough tricks to do that to you."

I groaned at this, I had hoped that getting naked quickly meant that this would be fast and sweaty, I really hoped that Tim would not torment me too much.

"But I'm not going to." He continued. "I'm just going to use you for my own pleasure instead."

For a moment I froze,wondering what he meant. Surely he didn't mean...

"I'm going to suck you, and I want the same."

This was the first time that Tim had asked me for anything directly, I was not about to deny him this, in all honesty I would deny Tim nothing, but I wasn't sure what he meant. I hadn't invested in my own copy of the Joy of Gay Sex and I was a little too innocent to infer anything.

"How?"

"Do you remember our first time?" He asked.

I didn't think that this was the best time for me to tell him that I tried not to think about it too often because it hurt too much, thankfully the question was rhetorical and Tim continued.

"I sucked you while you stroked me..." Tim prompted. "I thought maybe..."

"Sixty Nine?" I asked nervously.

Tim smiled.

"My thoughts exactly." Tim said.

I was about to ask how we were supposed to do that, what exactly it entailed, because I didn't really know but before I could speak Tim had manouvered himself into position, all I had to do was move slightly onto my side and it would work. I didn't know where he had learned this, I really wasn't sure that I wanted to know, but I was glad that he had. At least we weren't both naive.

Tim's cock bobbed just in front of my face, and I took no time in moving until it was near my mouth. Tim had already positioned himself into my lap and as he moved onto my cock, taking the head in his mouth while supporting the rest of my erection with his hand I felt myself compelled to do the same.

I wasn't exceptionally talented when it came to giving blow jobs, but Tim didn't complain, I tried to mirror some of what he had done with me and repeated the things that elicited the best responses from him, slowly learning the ways that he liked it. I hoped to get better and was sure that Tim wouldn't mind me practising on him.

I was right that it wouldn't last long, we were both too far into it for anything elaborate, but when I climaxed I didn't mind because the exercise of the night caught up with me and I was exhausted. Thankfully Tim came a moment after I did and managed to pull back enough that I didn't take too much of his come into me. I wasn't really that refined yet in my techniques and swallowing was a little beyond me.

When we were both spent Tim moved slowly up the bed and then collapsed next to me.

"So, Am I forgiven?" I asked with a small contented smile.

"For now." Tim said cryptically.

I was too tired to figure out what that meant and even if I had wanted to ask it was too late; Tim was asleep. It was not long before I followed him.

Tim

I make it a point never to lie to anyone. I think that there is no such thing as a little white lie which is probably why I told Justin that night that he was forgiven 'for now'. In truth there was still a part of me that wanted to know what he and Josh really thought of each other and if there was more there than met the eye. I guess that it isn't really something that Justin needed my forgiveness for but there was a part of me that questioned his loyalty, despite all we had been through.

I slept fitfully that night and was thankful that Justin seemed to sleep on, unhindered by my disturbed slumber.

By the time morning came around I was sure that it was a lot worse than I was making out but I could almost sense that something was going to happen. I didn't want to lose Justin but a voice inside me told me that I might and I was insecure enough to believe it.

When Justin woke up I was cold and detached because that was how life had taught me to be. If you didn't show feeling then there was no feelings to be hurt, or at least that was what I had learned in my previous job. It was a little harsh to use it with Justin but it was my way of coping.

I hoped that he would grow to understand.

"Are you coming with us today?" Justin asked, as he wrapped his arms around me. I was shaving in the bathroom mirror and didn't need him crowding me when I had a razor in my hand. Obviously he wanted to be close after what we had shared the night before but I wasn't in that frame of mind.

"Actually, I thought that I might go out." I replied. "I need to touch base with Adam, and check into a few other things."

"You can call him from here." Justin said helpfully. I felt guilty for trying to get away from him but I knew that I needed distance to think some things over and being caught up in Justin's menagerie would not allow me to do that.

"I need to pick up my e-mails as well." I replied.

"You can use my computer." Justin said. "There is a network port next to the phone. We always make sure that our hotels have them so that we can keep in touch with family and friends."

I paused for a moment, not sure if there was another excuse that I could use. After a few moments I couldn't think of one so I just nodded and mumbled a thanks.

"Don't worry, we're moving on tommorow." Justin said, as if that would solve all of my problems. "I know that it gets a bit boring staying in the same place for a while. It'll be better once we're on the road again. We'll be moving on more quickly and I'll have more time."

"Okay." I replied, feeling that one word answers were safest right now.

"I've really got to go." Justin said with a small frown.

I nodded but did not say anything else.

Justin gave me a peck on my freshly shaved cheek and a quick squeeze and then left, calling out his goodbye as he went.

After I heard the door to our room slam shut I let out a breath that I had not even known that I was holding.

I looked up and tried to finish shaving, but gave up three nicks later. It appeared that even my morning ablutions were not safe from my growing unease about the way things were. Then again it is hard to shave when you can't look at yourself in the mirror.

Josh

Dancing with Justin in a club is nothing like dancing with him on stage. Justin has this raw animal energy that he lets flow in a club that just isn't there on stage. A glimmer of it shines through the carefully choreographed moves but when we're out it is like there is no one but me and him on the dance floor and all of that energy is unleashed.

I remember thinking as I watched Justin and Tim leave that night that it would be spectacular if even an ounce of that energy was released during love- making.

There was definitely something that night, perhaps it is only with the clarity of hindsight that I can see it now, but even as we danced together it was like some barrier that had hung between us for months fell away. Before Tim interupted us I was certain that Justin was falling for me in some way or another and even if it was only lust I would have helped him to work it out. The problem was that there was no way that Justin would act on those feelings and I had one more reason to hate Tim because he would get to feel Justin's energy that night and I was going home alone.

I barely slept that night because I was thinking about what might have been if Tim had not interupted Justin and I on the dance floor. I know that it was useless to torture myself with thoughts of something I could never have but I couldn't help it. I ended up jerking off in the privacy of my own bed, only to then feel guilty about having orgasms over someone that was supposed to be my best friend.

The restless night meant that I was tired and irritable the following morning. I was surprised however that Justin was in a similar frame of mind. The part of me that was his best friend wondered if something had happened and if he was okay, the part of me that wanted Justin for myself thought that maybe there was trouble in paradise and this was my chance.

Thankfully I listened to the voice that was concerned for Justin on purely a fraternal level.

"What's up Justin?" I asked, as we ate a light breakfast. "You look preoccupied with something."

"I'm fine." Justin replied, but I could tell from the defeated tone of his voice that he was anything but.

"I know that I've been distant lately, and that things between us haven't been so great, but I'm here if you need to talk." I said. I meant it too.

"Thanks." Justin said with a small smile. It was probably the first smile that he had directed at me in months and I felt a small glimmer of hope that even if I couldn't have his love I could regain his friendship.

I wanted to say more but Lance was already talking about the events of the day and I knew that if I didn't pay attention there would be hell to pay later.

For now it was worth it that I could be there for Justin.

Maybe I didn't need what we had on the dancefloor the night before if I could be his friend again.

Maybe, in time, I could fool myself that friendship would be enough.