Disclaimer: The usual rules apply here. If you aren't legal in your area to be reading material(non erotic, mind you) about homosexuals and the activities they may or may not participate in, then please don't read. This story has been copyrighted and is not to be used elsewhere in any way without the express permission of the author (that would be me). For everyone else, enjoy!
Wayward People
Chapter Eighteen-"Love You Like a Disease"
The signs that show you love a person deeply really show once they get to a point where they need to be taken care of.
And that's exactly what I felt like I needed to do after Pete collapsed yesterday.
I was scared out of my mind when he fell on top of me like he had.
I knew he'd been still trying to get over his cold or flu or whatever it was, but I thought he was mostly over it.
Apparently that wasn't the case.
All of us had rushed him to the school nurse.
I feared the worst, but by the time we got to the nurses station not only had Pete waken up but he was up trying to get everyone to believe he was fine after having just passed out.
One thing though, he practically went ballistic when the nurse said that she was going to call his parents to let them know about the incident.
It took all of us to calm down, after he made the nurse promise not to call home.
I had a feeling she was going to call his parents anyway though.
When we took him out of the office, he was huffing a puffing like he had just been in some kind of huge fight.
We were trying to get his attention but he was just shrugging us all off.
He wouldn't even talk to me.
I had to go an entire day worrying about the guy I...the guy I loved.
That part was extremely hard for me.
It wasn't like I could just talk to Troy or Max about it, as I no longer lived in the room right next door.
And even though Reverend Thomas knew that I was gay, he didn't know that Pete was gay as far as I knew. And even if he did, I wasn't so comfortable with him where I could talk to him about my relationship problems.
I felt alone without actually being alone.
But I knew it wouldn't last long.
Come tomorrow I'd be able to figure what exactly went wrong.
I don't know why I was so nervous once I arrived at school the next day.
But I was.
It was like Pete and I had got into some kind of argument without actually having gotten into one.
I wish I could say it'd be our first fight, but we'd already had plenty of those.
I guess when I heard the whispers in the hallway and turned to see that people WEREN'T actually talking about me for a change that I should have realized that something was up.
There weren't usually so many people blocking me from seeing down the hallway, as we didn't have that many people in any one hallway at any given time.
Today it was like everyone was a bunch of little packrats, all bundled together talking about something.
Or someone.
"It's like that movie," Sienna spoke, standing next to me. "Where you know something weird is about to happen."
"So if someone starts talking about pig blood, we know to hit the streets right?" Troy joked.
All three of us were just trying to see past the crowd of people.
It was then that I realized that they were talking about someone, not something.
And that whoever they were looking at was trying to come this way.
"I'm a little worried about Pete," Sienna started. "I mean, he doesn't just collapse. Not him."
"Maybe instead of going to movie theaters and school dances he should have been in bed resting like I said, huh?" Troy spoke, crossing his arms.
I wasn't even about to get into why it still seemed like he was having problems with Pete.
"I mean, I tried calling him yesterday but I didn't get an answer," Sienna replied. "This is so unlike him."
"Speaking of what's unlike him," Troy spoke looking past me.
I turned around to see what he was talking about.
I almost had to shut my eyes and open them again.
"Pete?"
What the hell?
"What did you-"
"You like it huh?" Pete asked, a big smile on his face just as usual.
Like it? Like it?
"Pete, where's all your hair?" Sienna asked.
Oh yes.
My boyfriend, the perfectly handsome captain of the school baseball team with a perfect face and body had shaved off every visible trace of hair on him.
Before, I'd loved his scraggly brown hair and its near-skater boy style.
Now, he was completely bald.
Besides that, he'd even taken it a step further and shaved off his chin hair and eyebrow hair.
I mean....was this normal?
"Pete, what the hell is wrong with you?" Sienna asked. "Are you crazy?"
He had to be.
Was he going for a bad boy look?
Because if that was the case all he was missing now were a few piercings, tattoos and an arrest record.
Oh yeah, and HAIR!
"Pete-"
"I know, I know...it's a little out there," Pete replied.
"A little?" Sienna spoke.
"But it's just hair," Pete replied. "It's gonna grow back."
Gonna grow back?
It shouldn't have been gone in the first place!
"Why?" I asked.
Pete looked over at me, his smile fading a little, but still there.
"I don't know," he replied, rubbing his hairless head. "I just needed a change."
"What dating guys isn't enough of a change for you?" Sienna asked.
I'd long since learned that Sienna definitely wasn't a person you wanted to have on your bad side.
Pete was her friend. Probably her best friend. So for him to have gone off and chopped off all of his hair without obviously telling her first so that she could convince him not to.....
Or so that I could convince him not to.
Pete, surprisingly could pull off the bald look. He was still hot as hell. The only weird part was how he'd shave off ALL of his hair.
"What did your parents say?" Sienna asked.
"Oh them? Yeah...they don't know yet," Pete replied.
He pulled out a ski cap from his coat pocket and put it on.
"And I'll be seeing how long I can go without telling them too," he replied.
I was still kinda speechless.
I mean, how do you go from having gorgeous hair to none at all?
Why'd he cut it off?
Oh yeah, he needed a change, whatever that meant.
Weirdo.
"Pete-"
"Look, guys, I know it's weird and gonna take a little getting used to but that's just it," he started. "You're gonna have to get used to it because it's not coming back for a while."
But I liked the Pete with hair.
"And the last time I checked, shaving off all your hair doesn't get you out of class," Pete spoke, shutting my locker, taking my books from out of my hand, and wrapping his arm with mine. "I'll see you two later."
He started walking me down the hall, leaving a speechless Sienna and Troy behind.
As if everyone staring at him for having cut off all his hair wasn't bad enough, now he was walking me along like we were a couple.
Which we were.
I just thought that at school we weren't supposed to be.
"Uh, Pete," I stared, looking around at everyone staring at us. "Are you okay?"
"What do you mean am I okay?" he replied. "I'm here, aren't I?"
"No, Pete-"
"Is this about yesterday?"
"I should be asking you that."
I mean, was shaving off all of his hair because of what had happened yesterday?
I looked around at everyone as Pete stayed silent before pulling myself free from him.
I just didn't feel comfortable with it all.
With him and his hair. With him.
Something was going on with my boyfriend and I wanted to know what.
"If you don't wanna be seen with me, all you have to do is say so," he said, quietly.
"I wanna know what's wrong with you," I replied, trying to keep from raising my voice.
"Oh so I shave off a little of my hair and all of a sudden something is wrong with me?"
"All of it! You shaved off all of your hair, Pete! And yes, something is wrong with you and I wanna know what."
Pete stopped abruptly and turned towards me.
"You know, I expected to catch a lot of bullshit from people today but none from you," he started.
"Pete-"
"I have class," he said, before turning and walking away from me.
That was it?
Shave of his hair, give some lame ass excuse for it all, then.....what......?
And what exactly was I supposed to do about it all?
He was my boyfriend sure, but it was obvious we had big problems and I hated to think what they really were.
I guess you could say that given what was happening with Pete, I wasn't exactly looking forward to having to spend time with my `younger brother' Ryan.
I just felt like I had more important stuff to deal with, but how could I if had to `waste' time with these kids?
"Unbelievable," Sienna mumbled. "I'm still telling your mom."
"Oh how grown up we are, Sienna," Pete spoke. "God, relax, it's just a little haircut."
"Whatever," Sienna mumbled before ringing the doorbell to the children's home.
I don't even think I was really there. I was still a little pissed at Pete.
I wasn't even sure why really. I just knew that I was.
"Ah, come on in guys," Mr. Friedman greeted us all.
I was happy to oblige as it was December and too damn cold outside.
The familiar smell of a bunch of kids instantly rushed to my nose and I suddenly felt a lot more bitter than I had been.
I hadn't exactly wanted to mentor anyone to begin with and the fact that the kid they'd stuck me with possessed a few of my...not so crowning traits didn't help matters.
As expected, the place was noisy and a lot of the smaller children were running around all over the place.
Mr. Friedman just led us back to the room we'd already become familiar with.
"The children are excited to be spending time with you all," Mr. Friedman spoke. "They really love you guys."
Not Ryan.
"Sienna, look I been working on my jumps and then my pom poms flew up and then I caught them and Sarah said I couldn't wear the blue suit and I told her you said I could so...oh and then-"
"Slow down Charlotte," Sienna giggled. "Here, why don't we go over here and you can show me what you've been working on."
Max walked over to Derek and Pete caught a ball Glen had thrown to him just in time.
I noticed Evan wasn't around, but then again, neither was that little bad kid Eric.
That just left me standing alone in a room with kids who all had something to do or someone to play with.
Except, Ryan of course.
As much as I disliked the kid and his attitude, the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about how much he reminded me of myself concerned me.
There he was sitting alone with his notebook, reading it over like a real book.
Something I used to do a lot when I was friendless.
I had to wonder just why Ryan didn't have any friends.
For a 12 year old, he wasn't that bad looking.
In fact I'm sure a lot of little girls his age would go for him.
He wasn't some scrawny looking nerd either.
As far as I could see, Ryan had everything going for him when it came to whatever ability he might of have to make friends.
And I wasn't exactly sure the reason he seemed not to have any was because of personal choice or something else.
Either way, the fact that he was the way he seemed to be didn't exactly make for great impression skills.
As I walked slowly over to Ryan, I couldn't tell whether or not he saw me coming. He was just looking down at his notebook as if he were actually in the middle of something.
It actually looked like he was thinking hard about something.
And I really hoped that wasn't the case.
The fact that everyone kept pointing out he was a "mini-me" was already enough without this added evidence.
I tried to figure out how I was going to handle him.
Was I going to act cool, like you were supposed to do around younger kids?
Nah, I'm not nor have I ever been cool.
"Hey..." I started.
Ryan looked up at me and sat up straight.
"This seat taken?" I asked.
He just stared at me for a few seconds before looking next to him and back down.
"Nope," he replied.
I took a seat next to him and looked out at all the playing kids before I looked over at him.
"Did you wanna play something?" I asked.
"Huh?"
"I don't know...I just thought-"
"Look I told you, I don't need a babysitter," Ryan cut me off. "I'm twelve not six like half the other kids are."
"Ryan, I wasn't-"
"I know why you're here," Ryan continued. "I know how this works. I used to do it before...."
He stopped and looked up like he was trying to fight back tears.
Then he looked back down, clearing his throat.
"Just....you don't have to try," he replied. "Because I'm not interested."
Fine. Little brat.
Neither was I.
I had so much else I could do.
Like yell at Pete some more for cutting his hair, for starters.
I didn't need this from some snot nosed little punk.
"Fine," I replied, annoyed and stood up.
If he didn't want to, I didn't want to. Plain and simple as that.
I could go see what someone who was actually having a good time was up to.
"Still doesn't mean you should have left him," Sienna spoke from the back seat.
"What was I supposed to do, Sienna?" I asked, looking into the rearview mirror from the drivers seat. "The kid's kinda hard to handle."
"Of course he's hard to handle, he's twelve," Sienna replied. "I don't see you trying to understand that."
"What I understand is that this kid is a freak because he chooses to be that way," I replied.
I could almost see why Eric picked on him now.
"Interesting," Pete mumbled.
I looked over at him.
He was sitting next to me in the passengers seat with his arms crossed looking out the window.
I didn't know what to say mostly because I wasn't sure what I could say without yelling at Pete for chopping off his hair.
He came to school and showed us all, but he's pretty much left that cap on since.
Sure you could still tell considering he still had no eyebrows or any other hair.
But it was like even he didn't want to look at the fact that he had no hair.
And if that was the case, then why cut it off at all?
It wasn't like Pete to be so strange. Sure, he had shown me that he could be spontaneous and random, but I never got the impression that he was crazy.
That was it.
I was dating a crazy man.
"You don't get to say anything Pete," Sienna spoke. "Not until you tell us the real reason you went all Bruce Willis on us."
Things grew silent after that for a few moments.
"Fine," Sienna replied. "Don't tell us."
"Except that I already did-"
"Give me a break Pete, that's complete bull-"
"Reason why-"
"And you know it!"
"Um...we're here," I said, pulling into the school parking lot, where we'd left Pete's car.
"Mike, can you take me home?" Sienna asked.
"Sienna, don't be a prude," Troy started, turning around to face Sienna.
"Please?"
I looked over at Pete who turned around and got out of the car.
"Okay," I replied.
"I guess this means I can start getting to school on time now," Pete mumbled.
"You gonna grow that hair back?" Sienna called out the car window. "Anytime soon?"
I think we all saw it when Pete stuck up his middle finger behind him as he walked over to his car.
"Is there something wrong with him?" Max asked.
"Obviously," Sienna mumbled.
"No I meant...like is there really something wrong with him?" Max asked.
I never thought of that.
Maybe there was a reason why Pete cut off his hair. A real reason.
"Yeah well even people with lice don't get that stupid," Sienna replied.
I just sighed as I put the car in reverse and started back towards Sienna's.
A real problem?
If there was something wrong, why wouldn't Pete tell me?
I was his boyfriend.
That should mean something.
I had to assume that middle finger Pete had held up had been for me too, as he hadn't returned any of my calls.
I figured he just needed a little time to cool down, which was great because it gave me time to clear my head as well.
I figured Pete was going to at least tell me what his deal was.
There had to be some real reason behind his seemingly rash decision and I for one wanted to know the truth. I wanted real answers.
"Hey have you seen-"
"Nope," Sienna cut me off, shoving a book in her locker. "Maybe he went off and did another crazy thing like jumping off a cliff!"
"Sienna-"
"You think you know a person," she started. "And then they show up to school looking like somebody's big toe!"
"Pete's not really like this, right? I mean you don't think it's.....like...a gay thing?"
Sienna stopped and looked over at me.
"I've known Pete was gay about as long as I've known him personally," she replied. "I know gay things."
"But my things, you didn't-"
"I knew you were gay practically from the moment I first talked to you," Sienna replied, turning back around.
That at least solved those old questions I used to have.
"I just, I know he's your boyfriend and all but he's supposed to be my best friend," Sienna replied. "He should have told me there was something wrong."
"You think there's something wrong with him? Really?"
Sienna stopped and let out a sigh.
"I don't know what to think," she replied. "For once, I don't know what to say."
"Well there's a shocker," Evan, surprising the both of us, spoke up. "You being speechless. Couldn't get you to shut the hell up any time I wanted sex."
Sienna slammed her locker shut.
"I thought going to church protected you from this kind of guy," Sienna spoke, looking over at me.
"Sadly I think the holy grail lacks that ability," Evan replied, leaning over us.
You'd think by now that I'd have learned to just leave whenever Evan showed up.
But there was something about him.
Something that made you feel small inside. Like you were drowning or being choked and couldn't move.
That was the reason no one left around him.
His presence did that to people.
"What do you want?" Sienna asked.
"Would you accept a quickie as my final answer?"
"A quick punch to the-"
"Careful Sienna, remember how you're a mentor to that poor little girl now," Evan started. "The little guy I'm looking after is kinda into her."
"So," Sienna replied.
"So? Didn't you hear about the kiddie dance?" Evan asked. "Probably not. It's new, just thought it up."
"Oh my god," Sienna sighed.
"Anyway, I need a date and fortunately for us both you're the only other person besides me doing this thing that isn't into the same sex."
"Evan I-"
"Don't worry, I know you accept."
"Only I can't because..." Sienna started.
"Hey guys," Troy spoke, joining us both. "What's going on?"
I noticed he looked defensive. As if ready to beat the shit out of Evan if one of us gave him the word.
"Because I'm dating Troy," Sienna suddenly blurted out.
I couldn't keep from looking too shocked at that one.
Dating Troy?
Seriously?
Since when?
"Huh?" Troy asked.
Sienna pulled Troy towards her and kissed him hard on the lips.
"See, were in a relationship so I'm not gonna be able to-"
"Gimme a break, this assfucker?" Evan asked.
"I think you need to leave," Troy spoke firmly. "Now."
Evan and Troy locked eyes, staring each other down.
I looked over at Sienna who mouthed something to me but I couldn't make out what.
"Okay," Evan replied. "Maybe I should go see what Janet Elrod is up to."
Probably out getting STD number twenty seven as we speak.
All of us watched as Evan turned a corner and was suddenly gone.
"Sienna-"
"I'm sorry," she stared. "I froze. I didn't know what to do."
"It was kinda like in those movies or t.v. shows," I pointed out.
"I just...well I need a reason to keep him away from me," Sienna replied.
"And that reason is having me as a fake boyfriend?" Troy asked.
"We're the only people who know it isn't real," Sienna replied. "Please Troy. He.....he scares me."
Which was hard to believe considering they dated for years on end.
Although, it was easy to see how she was afraid of him now.
Hell, he scared me too.
Troy looked annoyed and let out a sigh to show it.
"Troy-"
"Alright," he replied. "But I'm not happy about it."
"An unhappy fake boyfriend," Sienna replied. "I can live with that."
As I tried to wrap my head around all that had just taken place, another thought popped into my head.
With all that I was going through with Pete, I failed to realize that if something was wrong, I'd been pretty harsh with him.
We all had.
If there was a problem, I think we all knew Pete well enough to know that he'd tell us whatever it was when he was ready.
I had to realize that.
And I had to accept that.
I may not have wanted to, but I knew that I had to.
Otherwise, we would both have to start re-evaluating our relationship.
That was the last thing I wanted to do.
As it turns out, Evan hadn't been lying about that whole `kiddy dance' thing he was talking about.
Apparently, he and Mr. Friedman had thought some strange thing up that had gone straight over my head and out the window.
Either way, it was something that we were going to have to attend. With dates.
It wasn't until the week before Christmas though. And it was being charity sponsored.
I didn't care what it was, I was just glad that for once, it didn't have anything to do with my mother and I didn't have to help to plan it.
"You think we should all plan something to do with them?" Sienna asked.
I looked over at her to see she was looking over at Evan who seemed to be showing the Eric kid how to do something.
I wasn't sure what, but it certainly looked like he was trying to make sure he learned it.
"I'm still trying to figure out why Evan actually planned this," Max replied. "That's the surprising part."
"Yeah and I bet you he's trying to make it all one big show, too," Sienna replied. "Just like him to be selfish like that. I mean, using that poor kid to do whatever it is he's trying to do."
All of us just looked over at him.
"Well, I will say this," Max started. "Whatever he's planning is probably gonna be big."
"Yeah..." Sienna mumbled.
"Sienna! Wanna see my flips?"
"Charlotte...hey...uh..." Sienna started, taking her eyes away from Evan and Eric. "How would you like to learn how to do a real cheer routine?"
"Really? Like the ones you do?"
"Uh huh," Sienna replied. "Come on, I'll teach you how to impress everyone."
And with that she walked off with Charlotte.
And I guess that meant she was officially in competition with Evan, whether she wanted to admit it or not.
"What about you Max?" I asked. "You got anything special planned?"
All of a sudden a toy truck came flying clear across the room and Derek ran by after it with a smaller truck hanging from his mouth.
"Yeah, I think I'm just gonna stick to trying to keep Derek from killing himself and everyone around him," he replied. "Derek! Get that truck out of your mouth!"
That just left me and Pete.
I looked over at him.
He looked peaceful enough.
Even when he was upset he still looked like he could at least manage.
"Is....everything okay?" I found myself asking.
Pete looked over at me with a slight smile.
"My hairs gone, Mike," he replied. "That's it."
"I know...I just-
I stopped when Pete took his ski cap off his head.
"What you don't want a bald boyfriend?" he smiled.
I smiled at him.
"You're still pretty hot," I replied. "For a bald guy."
"Thanks," Pete replied. "You don't look so bad yourself."
"Heads up!" Glen called out.
Pete turned around just in time to catch a ball that Glen had thrown.
He dropped it and shook his hand.
"Damn," he mumbled. "Kids getting good."
"Hey Pete," Glen spoke. "Did I do better?"
"Yeah," Pete replied. "It actually stings a little."
"I'm sorry," Glen spoke, lowering his head.
"No, it's cool little guy," Pete replied. "Let's go practice some more."
"Okay," Glen said.
Why did this always happen?
Everyone else had kids that were happy to see them.
I was stuck with the one antisocial kid of the bunch.
It kind of pissed me off.
I looked around for Ryan, over to where he was usually sitting.
He wasn't there.
In a way, I was actually relieved.
If he wasn't around, I didn't have to bother.
But the fact that he wasn't even here had me a little curious as to why.
So I decided to go ask Mr. Friedman about it.
"Hey, is Ryan not around today?" I asked.
Mr. Friedman looked around.
"Oh he's probably in the restroom or something," Mr. Friedman replied. "Don't worry, everyone's accounted for."
I thanked him and looked around.
I wasn't sure whether or not to go look for him there or not.
But considering the fact that I actually had to pee as well I decided to go ahead and go.
The bathroom wasn't that far away from the room we were in.
As I got closer I noticed there was some kind of commotion coming from inside.
Evan was right near, getting a sip of water from the fountain.
He looked over at me with a grin on his face.
"Sorry, but I generally like my blowjobs to come from the female species."
"Why don't you get over yourself already," I replied.
There was still something going on inside.
"But then how would I win the popularity contests?"
The funny part was how serious he sounded just then.
I kept looking between him and the bathroom.
That was when I noticed something.
That kid...Eric...he wasn't with Evan.
Evan was waiting for him.
He was in the restroom.
I squinted my eyes at a grinning Evan before I rushed into the restroom.
That was when I saw it.
Eric was pinning Ryan against a wall with one hand while trying to flush his notebook down the toilet with the other.
"Give it back!"
"Gonna cry for your dead mommy some more!" Eric replied.
Evan entered the restroom behind me.
"You knew this was going on?" I asked, angrily.
"I was outside Carson," Evan replied.
I just ignored his stupid statement and rushed over and grabbed Ryan's notebook from Eric's hands.
"Hey, no fair!"
"What the hell are you doing Carson?" Evan shouted.
"You okay?" I asked Ryan, who looked extremely flustered.
"Evan, he took it!" Eric replied.
I flashed Evan an annoyed glance.
He was teaching this kid to be a bully and it wasn't cool.
"Come on," I said, holding out my hand to Ryan.
He looked down at my hand and then back up at me.
"Come on!"
Finally after a few more seconds he grabbed it and I pulled him past Eric.
"What do you think you're doing Carson?" Evan asked.
"Get out of my way, jackass," I growled.
I had expected Evan to mess with me some more, but surprisingly, he hadn't.
And I didn't care.
I was over him being a jackass to everyone because now it extended to these innocent kids.
Neither Eric nor Ryan deserved to have to put up with Evan, regardless of their personalities.
I just pulled Ryan along.
He pulled free.
I stopped and turned around.
He turned the other way, running out the door at the end of the hall.
"Ryan! Ryan!"
I started after him but tripped over Evan's outstretched foot.
"Accident," he chuckled. "Seriously though, you should catch your charity case before we all have to see his face on our milk cartons next week."
Eric laughed next to him.
"He probably went to go cry about his mommy some more," he said.
"Whatever, let's go," Evan spoke, turning and leaving with Eric.
I just stood up slowly and went down to retrieve Ryan's notebook, which had fallen out of my hands with the fall.
There was a sheet of paper that had fallen out of it.
It had been folded previously, but was flipped open now.
I couldn't help but to look over it.
I wasn't sure what it was, but whatever it was, it looked like some kind of letter.
I just picked it up and folded it back, putting it back into Ryan's notebook.
I walked down the hallway and out the door he'd ran out of and looked around.
I didn't see him, but what I did see was a pretty nice and large tree house in one of the tree's nearby.
There was a tire swing tied to one of its branches, which was moving.
Since it wasn't windy out, just cold, I assumed that Ryan had to be in the tree house.
I let out a sigh before I walked over to the ladder and climbed up it.
Sure enough, I was right.
Ryan was sitting in a far corner of the tree house, looking out one of the windows.
The thing was impressive. It had windows, doors, rooms.
This may have been the closest thing to an orphanage as it could be, but none of the children seemed to be without toys and games.
Other than not having parents, they had it pretty nice here.
I shut the door to the tree house behind me.
There was a fake fireplace in one of the corners, which I saw was lit.
A fireplace? Seriously?
The place had everything but a kitchen sink....scratch that, it was on the other side of the window.
No wonder he ran up into this thing!
I approached him slowly.
When he saw me, he didn't look upset to see me.
I put his notebook down next to him. And took a seat on one of the small wooden stools next to him.
"That was pretty rough back there huh," I started.
"I used to..." he started. Then he stopped.
He turned around and faced me.
"I used to handle guys like that back home," he replied. "And now I'm a loser."
"No, you're not...you're not a loser," I replied.
Of course, it pretty much seemed like he was.
"I just...it shouldn't have to be like this," he replied.
"What?"
Ryan sighed and stood up, walking over to the other side of the tree house, looking out the window.
From where we were we could see Pete playing catch with Glen and a couple of other kids.
"I was popular...and had friends," Ryan replied. "But then.......then she died."
He just stood there for a few seconds.
I didn't say anything because I didn't want him to feel like I was pressuring him.
"When my mom got sick....I just...I stopped caring...about anything," he continued. "I knew she was gonna die. We both did. That's why she wrote me that letter."
The one from the notebook.
"That's why I have that notebook. I keep it in there with me cuz it's all I got left, you know?"
He turned around.
"And then that jerk keeps taking it from me...it's been so long since I was able to handle myself...it gets hard. I just wanna be left alone. I don't wanna be adopted by anyone. I had a mom."
"What about your dad?" I asked.
"What about him?" Ryan asked, walking past me. "I don't even know who he is. I don't even think my mom knew."
This all had to be hard on him.
Not ever knowing his father.
Losing his mother to something.
And now he was here.
"I didn't like watching it all happen either," he replied.
"Watching what all happen?" I asked.
"Her getting sick," Ryan replied. "She had cancer. They told her she only had three months to live. It was really hard. All the stuff she had to go through."
Cancer?
I guess I didn't know anything about any diseases like that because no one I knew ever got any like that.
No one that I knew of in my family had died since I'd been born.
Of course, I'd never known a lot of people, so I couldn't speak for anyone at school.
Still, that all was unknown for me.
Foreign.
Ryan sighed and walked back over to the window.
"She was really pretty," he continued. "She had this really long blonde hair that she used to let me brush for her. And then they had to cut it off for the radiation treatments. They said it would fall out anyway. And then....they cut all her hair off...."
I walked over to the window and stood beside Ryan.
"Does....does your friend have it?" he asked.
"Have what?"
"Cancer," Ryan replied. "Is that why he doesn't have any hair anymore."
I looked down at Pete ready to laugh Ryan's statement off.
Then it hit me.
That was it.
That was the reason why he cut off not just the hair on his head, but all of it.
He had cancer!
"How long does he have?" Ryan asked.
I looked over at him.
"Oh...uh..."
"You should spend a lot of time with him," Ryan replied. "Before he's gone."
I looked back down to where Pete was laughing with Glen.
Before he was gone.....
Is that what was going to happen?
Was I going to lose my boyfriend?
And worse still, was he going to go and leave us all without telling us about his having cancer?
I suddenly had a lot of questions for him, and I wasn't going to stop until he gave me all the answers.
I'd been too shocked to say anything after talking with Ryan.
People questioned why I'd been so oddly quiet on the way home.
But I had a lot of thinking to do.
I thought all night before deciding that I couldn't wait any longer.
I needed to talk to Pete.
"Mike!"
"Do you have cancer?" I asked.
I had planned to start out slowly but it just spilled out of my mouth.
Pete just stood there, holding his door open, not looking...anything.
"What are you-"
"Do you have cancer?" I repeated.
Pete let out a sigh.
"Come in," he replied.
I was actually starting to grow more pissed off with each passing second.
How could he NOT tell me or anyone that he had cancer?
That was stupid.
Stupid people didn't tell people they could die soon.
Pete was stupid.
Pete lived in a one story house, so he led me back to his room, which was at the back, and shut the door behind him.
"Pete-"
"Mike, you have to let me explain-"
"How could you not tell me this?" I asked, trying not to shout as loud as I felt like doing. "I'm your boyfriend!"
"I know and I-"
"And when all of us were worried about you at school and you didn't say anything-"
"I know-"
"Is that what was the matter back when you first got sick? Did you have cancer then too?"
I stopped and he didn't say anything.
"Pete-"
"I love you."
I stopped and stared at him.
What...the...hell.....
Was he serious?
Telling me he...loved me when I was yelling at him about not telling me he had cancer?
What was wrong with him?
"What?"
"I love you," Pete replied. "I mean, I know it's sudden and all but I've been doing a lot of thinking about-"
"No."
Pete stopped.
"Excuse me?"
"No," I replied. "No you don't love me."
He couldn't.
If he really loved me, he wouldn't have kept something like that to himself.
He wouldn't have just let himself die alone.
He didn't love me.
"Mike, come on," Pete started, starting towards me.
But I backed up.
"Do your parents know?"
"Mike-"
"Do they know?"
Pete sighed.
"No...and there's no reason to-"
"I'm telling them-"
"No you're not!"
"Pete-"
"It's my life and I'll make my own decisions!"
"I'm just trying to-"
"Mess up things!"
I stopped.
"What?"
"Mike-"
"I can't do this," I sighed.
"What?"
"I can't...it's too hard. It's been too hard, but now..."
"Mike, no...I really do love you-"
"And I told you that you really don't," I replied. "I can't be with somebody keeping secrets from me. I know what kinds of problems that can cause."
"Mike-"
I suppose it was a last ditch attempt to hold on to me...literally, as Pete grabbed a hold of my arm.
"Let go-"
"I just, I can't tell them-"
"Fine!" I spoke, freeing myself from his grip. "You do what you like. It's your life right? You make your own decisions. Without me."
He wanted to die so badly, fine.
Hell if I was gonna stick around to see it happen.
YahooGroup (w/ advanced chapters of the story): http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JoJoPresents-GayFiction/
Personal email: crossingboi2004@yahoo.com
Copyright 2005