Disclaimer: The usual rules apply here. If you aren't legal in your area to be reading material(non erotic, mind you) about homosexuals and the activities they may or may not participate in, then please don't read. This story has been copyrighted and is not to be used elsewhere in any way without the express permission of the author (that would be me). For everyone else, enjoy!
Wayward People
Chapter Nineteen-"And, Goodbye"
"Welcome to the Dating Game! I'm your host, Max Carson and let's get started with today's pick shall we?"
The audience cheered with excitement before it died down.
"Tonight's handsome bachelor comes to us locally from the town of Wayward, Nevada. Mike Carson is a sixteen year old....well, it doesn't really say what he is. But we know he's sixteen don't we folks?"
The crowd agreed.
"Shall we meet him?"
What kind of dream was this?
The audience cheered.
"Come on out Mike!"
What kind of dream was this?
"Hi, Max," I found myself saying.
"Wanna meet tonight's suitors everyone?"
Once again, the crowd went apeshit bananas.
"Our first suitor is a six foot two football player who enjoys picking on everyone around him and being the guy everyone hates. His name is Evan Parker!"
Cue audience.
"Our second suitor is a mysterious seventeen year old from Canada who after three months we know less about than we do the stranger next door. Troy Hamilton."
And audience.
"Our final suitor is a gorgeous seventeen year old baseball team captain with a great smile and great personality. Oh yeah and he could die on us at any second. Pete Reynolds!"
More audience.
"Okay, so, Mike...you ready to pick a suitor?"
What kind of dream was this?
"What? But they're all bad choices," I replied.
"Oh, I'm afraid we've chosen for you," Max replied. "You get Pete Reynolds."
"But I don't want Pete-"
"Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete!"
"But I don't want him!"
"Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete!"
"What kind of dream is this?!"
What kind of dream is...what kind of dream is...what kind of.....
"But I don't want him!"
"Whoa, whoa.....what's wrong?"
I sat up and opened my eyes.
I was in a room.
My room.
In Reverend Thomas's place.
Dreaming?
I knew I was dreaming.
I think I knew I was dreaming.
"Wha..."
"I think we call that a nightmare," Reverend Thomas spoke, sitting on the side of my bed.
I looked over at the alarm clock next to me.
It was 3:58 in the morning.
I didn't have to get up for another three hours.
Too late now.
I sat back.
I noticed that I seemed to be sweating. A lot.
I didn't sweat.
At least, it wasn't normal for me.
"I guess now is one of those times I get to play pretend dad, huh," Reverend Thomas smiled. "Are you okay Michael?"
The fact that I was living with my church reverend and the fact that he was gay, really was an interesting set up.
And despite finding myself growing more and more comfortable with him with each passing day, I still didn't feel like this was something I needed to be discussing with him.
My love life or the lack thereof, I mean.
"Uh," I swallowed. "No, I'm fine."
Reverend Thomas spoke.
"If you say you're fine, you're fine," he spoke. "I'm not going to push you."
"Thanks," I replied.
"You should get back to sleep," he said. "You have school in a few hours."
Reverend Thomas shut the door on his way out, leaving me sitting under the moonlight peeking in through the blinds behind me.
I fell back and looked up.
That was a strange dream.
Still though, what kind of dream was it?
What was it supposed to mean?
Ergh!
I must not have had much trouble getting back to sleep because I woke up feeling groggy.
I felt groggy, but not because of lack of sleep.
I walked, or stumbled rather, into the kitchen like a caveman looking for food.
I hated to admit it, but I'd become accustomed to having my breakfast ready for me all the time, whether it be cooked or cereals, bowls, spoons and milk out ready for me.
I was, in a lot of ways that mattered, spoiled.
And living with Reverend Thomas in his gigantic house didn't help to dispel that thought any.
I was surprised he didn't have any maids.
"What no five star meal this morning?" I asked.
Now I had cold cereal to look forward to.
Yippee...can you feel the excitement?
Reverend Thomas was standing by the kitchen sink with one leg crossed in front of the other, dressed in what looked to be an expensive suit holding coffee in one hand.
"Some people take cold showers after a nightmare like that," he said. "You get to eat cold cereal."
"Are you trying to be funny?" I asked, walking over to the table.
"Wanna talk about it?" he asked, taking a sip of his coffee.
Just like last night, the same reasons applied.
Reverend Thomas was nice guy, I knew that now. But he was still the preacher at the church my mom and dad both attended.
It just didn't feel right.
"I'd rather not," I replied, reaching over for a bowl and a spoon.
"It's fine, Michael," he said, walking over to the table and picking up a newspaper. "You're entitled to your own sense of privacy."
Something I kinda sorta got at home.
Until the whole journal ordeal.
I was just happy that he hadn't pushed me on it.
"So you look nice, all business like," I said, pouring myself some cereal. "What's going on?"
It was hard to picture him having a personal life.
He was probably no older than 35 or 40, but he looked way younger than that. He was actually a very handsome man.
I wondered if he had a boyfriend...or girlfriend...or whatever he was into these days.
"I have a business appointment," he replied, grabbing a fresh bagel from the holder in front of me. "Like I told you, I do have a life outside of the church."
"Really? I would never have guessed," I spoke in a faux innocent tone.
"Now you're trying to be funny," Reverend Thomas spoke. "Maybe us living together wasn't such a bad idea after all."
Maybe.
I had other things to consider as problems other than me living with Reverend Thomas.
Or one huge problem.
Pete.
I really had broken up with him.
That part wasn't a nightmare.
But I couldn't be too upset about it.
He'd kept a huge secret from me.
In a way, both Evan and Troy had been right about him when they said he was hiding something from me.
And he was.
How could he keep something like having cancer from me?
Cancer wasn't like a cold that you could just get over in a couple of days.
As far as I knew, cancer was just as bad as some horrible disease like AIDS and would be more likely to kill you in that amount of time if anything.
And Pete was going to keep something like that to himself? HAD kept something like that to himself...
I couldn't see his reasoning behind it either.
Him being dead all of a sudden one day would hurt me more if I hadn't seen it coming.
If he'd told me, at least I could be prepared.
Could.
Because we sure as hell weren't together anymore.
A lot of things were said in the moment.
Pete's omission of love stuck out pretty clearly in my mind.
All the more reason to show that he wasn't thinking anywhere near as clearly as I was.
I may have felt bad about my decision to break up with him, but at the end of the day what he kept from me....
It's just too huge to ignore.
And now I had to go to school and face him.
That was gonna be rough.
What was I supposed to do if he begged me to take him back?
Would it be weird to hope something like that happened?
"Well, I'm off to get ready to face the day," I spoke, getting up. "It's a cold hard world out there."
"Well we all know that," Reverend Thomas replied. "I just hope things aren't too hard for now given-"
"No things are.....I'm okay," I replied.
"Good," Reverend Thomas replied.
Almost told him.
Maybe I would later.
I didn't see too huge a reason not to.
Right now, though, I needed to focus on what was coming up.
I always felt weird having to come over to the house I used to call home every morning to pick up my brother.
This is how things usually went:
I'd show up, ring the doorbell and be greeted by my father or sometimes mother.
If it was my dad, he'd always look like he was happy to see me.
Not happy enough to kick mom out and take me back in, though.
If it was mom, she'd look at me like some mutt on the street.
Like I wasn't good enough for her.
Funny how I'd suddenly become gay in her eyes while she'd suddenly become a bitchy snob in mine.
Sometimes, I'd need something.
Like some lunch money or something.
Dad always was happy to give it to me.
Mom, on the other hand always made me go to my dad.
I dreaded to think what I'd do without my father.
Granted, I still wished he would say I could come home and accept me. But If I didn't have him at all......
I wasn't sure who to expect to come to the door as I stood outside it after having rung it twice.
But all of me was hoping that if it wasn't my brother or Troy, then hopefully it would be my dad.
"Hello Michael," my mom spoke with crossed arms upon opening the door.
No such luck.
She had that look. The one that always made me double check my outfit to see if it was dirty or something.
"Well, don't just stand there letting all the heat out of the house...."
I stood there for a couple more seconds before she let me inside, and shut the door behind me.
"Mikey!" Troy called from the kitchen.
I wanted to smile at that but with my mother watching me, I actually felt like maybe my hair was on fire or something.
"Hey son," my dad spoke, walking into the living room while trying to get his tie together. "You up to date with lunch money?"
"Actually I was kinda hoping I could get some more," I replied.
Yeah, today was lunch money replenishment day.
"What are you buying up at that school of yours?" my mother asked. "Didn't we just give you some money last week?"
Actually, no, she never gave me anything.
"Don't worry about it Mike," my dad said, handing me a couple of twenty dollar bills.
I noticed my mom scowl over at him but my dad was in too much of a hurry, it looked like, to get into any of this right now.
"Well, I'm off to work," he said, kissing my mom on the cheek. "I might be able to get off for lunch if you're gonna be around."
"Actually I planned on submitting my vote today," my mom replied. "You know, about the one against same sex marriage."
From where I was standing I could almost hear that proverbial pin dropping.
Or maybe just a couple of spoons falling into cereal bowls.
It really was that quiet all of a sudden, though.
My dad was just staring at my mom with a semi challenging look while she was staring back at him with a completely challenging one.
"Evelyn-"
"We don't have anything to worry about remember?" she started. "Reverend Thomas is getting Michael back on the right path."
I didn't know what I was supposed to do or what I was supposed to even say really.
I kinda felt like jumping off a bridge somewhere.
"Okay, well Mike's here so we can go," Max spoke, pulling me towards the front door.
Troy joined me at my side.
"Bye Mike," my dad called out.
I turned around.
"Bye dad." I replied. "Mom..."
"Michael."
Oh yeah, things so were getting better.
School had never really been a sanctuary for me.
Even after I had more of a reason to want to go.
But now, things were completely different, and I wasn't looking forward to anything that was coming up.
"So your mom's still being a bitch huh?" Sienna spoke, as she put a book into her locker.
"Sienna!"
"What? Mike, ask anyone and they'll pretty much tell you that your mother isn't their favorite person."
That was true, but still surprising.
"It just seems like this whole town revolves around whatever event we have going on," Sienna replied. "Are we all seriously that warped?"
I guess not having a boyfriend was causing her to be a little cynical.
"Hey guys," Troy spoke, joining us.
"Hey sweetie!" Sienna replied.
Oh yeah. I forgot. They were...
"Sienna.."
"I know, it's not real," Sienna replied. "But as long as people think were really a couple, Evan'll definitely stay away from me."
"Sticking it to the man, huh?" Troy asked.
He seriously looked a little `off-put' to be having to do this for Sienna.
Almost like he wasn't interested in having to pretend to be some girl's boyfriend.
And I didn't blame him. I wouldn't want to have to pretend to be some girl's boyfriend either.
"It just pisses me off how Evan wants that poor little kid to be just like him," Sienna spoke, looking down the hallway to where Evan was laughing with Andrew and a few other kids.
It took me a moment before I finally realized that she was talking about Eric.
"Well with their little dance thing coming up, I'd say he's gonna have all the time he needs to train him in his dastardly ways," I replied, with an annoyed sigh.
"You sure you're completely over him?" Troy asked.
"What?"
"Revenge plans? I don't know, seems like something you do to win someone's attention, not lose it."
Sienna looked down at where Evan still was.
"Trust me, those days are over," she replied. "Now, I'm all about making that loser pay."
Pay for what?
I honestly saw no reason for her to be as upset with Evan as she was.
I was the one who had problems with him.
Problems I was choosing not to dwell on.
"Moving on to someone I don't mind talking about," Sienna started, taking another book out of her backpack. "Have you talked to Pete today?"
Pete.
Was I wrong to hope I was going to be able to get away with not having to tell Sienna about our break up?
Then again, not being on her bad side was a good thing as being on her good side showed me what being on her bad side could be like.
Hmmm....
"No," I replied.
"He was acting all funny yesterday," Sienna replied. "I'm still pissed he chopped off all his pretty boy hair. And now he doesn't even bother calling me?"
"Well since he and Mike are together, he'll probably tell him what's up," Troy spoke, looking over at me. "Right Mike?"
I looked over at Sienna and Mike who were both staring at me.
I suddenly felt guilty.
Almost like Pete having chopped off his hair and not returning Sienna's phone calls was my fault.
And now he was nowhere to be seen at school.
I was hoping not to have to face my problems and I got my wish.
The only problem now was that I was wishing Pete was here.
We may not have been together anymore, but I still wanted to know that he was okay.
Still, they were waiting for an answer.
And I couldn't just skip out on telling them what they obviously wanted to hear.
"Right," I replied.
"Good," Sienna replied, shutting her locker. "Means I don't have anything to worry about anymore."
Exactly.
Because I was the one with all the worries.
"Ugh, where the hell is he?" Sienna asked, impatiently as she simultaneously dug around in her purse while walking to the front door.
The ground was covered with a couple of inches of snow, and it was pretty cold outside.
"The guy did pass out a couple days ago," Troy replied. "Maybe he's still sick."
"A sick ass that doesn't bother calling his best friend?" Sienna asked. "Ugh, I swear. He makes me sick!"
She honestly looked ready to chop off the balls of any guy that argued with her.
So Max, Troy and I didn't as she rang the doorbell to the children's home.
Mr. Friedman greeted us and walked off, seeing as though we already knew exactly where to go.
All of us, however, were surprised by what we saw once there.
"Pete?" Sienna spoke, quizzically.
Pete, with a large smile on his face, looked up at all of us, before catching a ball Glen tossed to him.
"Hey guys," he replied.
"Why weren't you at school today?" Sienna asked.
Pete shrugged and tossed the ball back.
"Didn't feel like going," he replied.
Sienna looked over at me with a strange look that told me she was just as baffled with his behavior as I was.
I wasn't aware cancer made you act this strange.
"Do your parents know you skipped school?" Sienna asked.
"Sienna, look what I learned today!" Charlotte exclaimed, tugging on Sienna's hand.
Sienna looked down at Charlotte before looking back over at Pete who was looking over at me.
For some reason, I couldn't muster any strength to look at him.
I was too upset with him and I wanted him to know it.
And I didn't want him thinking I was going to want to get back together with him anytime soon.
"Sienna!"
"Okay Charlotte," Sienna replied, putting on a smile and walking off.
"You'd almost think maybe he's going through a midlife crisis or something," Max spoke. "But he'd have to be forty first."
"Some people do strange things," Troy replied.
I wanted to point out how he couldn't be one to talk but I just settled on thinking it.
"Well, I guess I should go find Derek," Max sighed.
When we all heard a loud band and something else that sounded like some glass breaking and laughing from the back, Max held his breath.
"Nevermind," he replied, heading towards the back.
"I still can't believe you finally decided to come along with us," I said.
Troy crossed his arms and looked around.
"Kids aren't really my deal," he replied. "But you throw in some Evan on the side and suddenly things stop being so simple."
"Don't you think I have my boyfriend to protect me?" I asked.
Troy looked over at Pete then at me.
"I don't know," he replied. "Do you?"
It was a look that almost told me that he knew Pete and I weren't together anymore somehow.
I knew it was impossible, so I shrugged it off.
"Speaking of that jack hole...I don't see him around," Troy spoke, looking around. "Is he here?"
Eric was missing as well, which pretty much told me that he was here.
"Hey Mike," Ryan spoke, walking up next to me.
"Hey Ryan," I replied. "Everything cool today?"
"Yeah," he replied, with an actual smile on his face for once. "Is this one of your friends too?"
"Oh yeah," I replied, looking over at Troy. "This is Troy. Troy, this is Ryan."
"Hey," Troy spoke.
"Hey," Ryan replied.
He almost looked defensive.
"Um, so where's Eric?" I asked.
"That other guy came and took him to the tree house out back," Ryan replied. "I think they're planning something for the Christmas dance."
"There's another one of those?" Troy asked.
"It's for them though," I replied.
Still, with Evan involved, I wasn't holding my breath for smooth sailing.
"Well, I guess we should go find something to do then," I spoke, glancing over at Pete.
He was always in such a good mood.
The guy had cancer and he still had that gorgeous smile on his equally gorgeous face.
How could he be smiling when he had cancer?
How was this a good thing to him?
We were happy.
We were starting something.
Why did he feel the need to keep something like that a secret from me?
"Mike..."
"Oh right. Sorry."
It didn't matter anymore anyway.
He wasn't my boyfriend.
So why should he even be my problem?
The last time there was a giant crowd at school, I found out my ex boyfriend had shaved off all of his hair.
So basically, I was wary of seeing any big crowds at my school.
And today, that's exactly what I was seeing.
People were so crowded around that I couldn't even get through the halls to get to my locker.
I'm sure there's a safety code violation in there somewhere.....
People, I noticed, sounded excited and happy as opposed to shocked and awed like before, so maybe the crowds were a good thing this time.
"Wow, I always thought he was a nice guy but this is just great!" some guy spoke, walking past me.
I noticed he was holding a baseball bat and he didn't look like anyone I recognized from the baseball team.
What was going on?
In an effort to find out, I started pushing past people to get closer.
A girl walked out of the crowd holding a nice jacket.
Another guy came away with a nice pair of shades.
As I got closer, I saw exactly what was going on.
"Pete!"
"Sorry Sienna, you missed out," Pete spoke.
Pete was standing on top of a bunch of books made up like some kind of pedestal like an auctioneer.
Which he essentially was considering he was giving away all of his stuff!
"Oh my god," Sienna sighed, rubbing her forehead in frustration.
"Give out the next thing!" some guy called out.
And the crowd apparently agreed.
I walked over to Sienna, who was already standing next to Troy and my brother.
"What's going on?" I asked.
"Pete's gone completely CRAZY!" Sienna spoke, putting extra emphasis on that last word.
I looked around and then back up at Pete who was shuffling through a large black trash bag.
"Is he giving all his stuff away?" I asked.
"Next up, we have a perfectly...mint condition Ipod up for grabs!"
Being Christmas time and all, Ipods were something everybody wanted.
So they were going crazy over that.
"He's absolutely lost it," Sienna replied.
"But remember, he's YOUR best friend," Evan spoke, edging himself in next to Sienna.
Beside him I noticed Andrew and Sadie edging themselves in as well.
Things were certainly getting out of hand.
"Of course, circus animals do attract circus freaks," Evan replied.
"Did you threaten him or something?" Sienna asked.
"Glad to see you still fear my malice," Evan replied. "But sadly this act of depravity is all your mental friends doing."
All of us watched as Pete handed his Ipod to Andrew.
"Dude, you fucking rock!" Andrew exclaimed.
That seemed to piss Evan off enough because he pulled Andrew back.
"Are you serious?" he asked.
"What? A free ipod is a free ipod!" Andrew replied, looking his new toy over.
"Mike," Sienna started, so that only I could hear her. "Talk some sense into him please. He's your boyfriend."
Not anymore.
And apparently, Pete still hadn't told her anything.
And now he was going off the deep end.
Still though, somebody had to talk to him.
And I had a feeling that the cause of his further bouts of...insanity had something to do with me.
"Who wants this watch?" Pete called out.
And as most of the crowd was in a semi frenzy, I didn't give Pete and opportunity to do anything about the watch, as I just pulled him from atop the books and away from the crowd.
"Say what the-"
"Just shut up and come with me."
"I guess those two are going off to spend some quality time together," Evan smirked.
"Shut up, ass," Sienna growled.
"So...who gets the watch then?" Andrew asked.
Pete wasn't putting up much of a fight and I considered that a good thing given how upset I was feeling with him at the moment.
And considering half the school was back that-a-way, the area I'd dragged Pete to was pretty much empty.
"What's the deal? I thought you broke up with me," Pete spoke, rubbing his arm.
"What the hell is wrong with you" I asked.
I thought I could hold my tongue.
Couldn't do it.
"What do you-"
"All of this? That?"
"So I wanna give away some of my stuff and now there's something wrong with me?" Pete asked, sounding upset.
"You're not dying are you?" I asked.
Pete looked at me with concern before he looked at me like he was pissed at something.
"No," he replied, trading places with me.
I let out a sigh and looked down.
For the life of me, I couldn't figure him out.
This all seemed unnecessarily difficult.
It didn't have to be like this.
Or at least, it didn't seem like it had to be like this.
"I just figured I'd change a little," Pete replied. "I do that a lot, in case you haven't noticed."
I looked back over at him.
"Sienna's worried about you......I'm worried about you," I replied.
Pete smiled and grabbed my hands.
"You don't have to be," he replied. "I'm fine."
I looked down at him holding my hands.
I pulled back.
"Yesterday....when you told me you loved me-"
"I meant it," he replied.
I stopped.
I guess I just wanted to see.
I mean, with everything else he was doing, I had to be sure that wasn't just another crazy to-do thing' on his list of crazy to do' things.
"I love you Mike," he replied. "And I still wanna be with you."
The way he was looking at me just then....
It was like he was totally serious in that moment. And completely focused on one thing.
Me.
He loved me and wanted me.
And....
And....
This was how he was showing it?
By keeping secrets from me and shaving of his hair?
No, no I couldn't be with him.
At least not right now.
And he needed to know that.
"Pete....look...."
I just didn't know how to say it.
"The hairs gonna grow back Mike," Pete replied. "It's cancer. People can get over cancer with treatment."
"What about you?" I asked.
"What about me?"
"Well, are you getting treatment?" I asked.
Pete once again switched places with me.
"It's not that simple Mike-"
"How is it not that simple? Either you're getting better or you aren't-"
"Not everybody deals with their problems the same way-"
"So go to a doctor and-"
"I just can't!"
The two of us stared at each other for few moments.
"Well then I can't be with you," I replied, leaving Pete.
He didn't know how to handle his problems.
And until he learned how to, I wasn't going to stick around and watch him self destruct.
I had enough to deal with.
"So it's over then?" Pete called out.
I stopped but didn't turn around.
Part of me was afraid to face him after he'd asked that.
I turned around to face him with a sad look on his face.
It almost killed me just then.
But I had to be strict.
It was the only way I knew how to help Pete.
"It's over," I replied.
I just hoped he understood what I was trying to do.
"So how are things going at the children's home?" Reverend Thomas asked.
More days went by and Pete was still being his new crazy neurotic self.
Which left me feeling a lot more depressed.
And with Christmas being in a couple of days, that holiday cheer everyone supposed to feel around this time certainly didn't extend to me as I was feeling anything but holiday cheer.
Tonight?
Tonight was soup.
It was actually pretty good, but that was to expected considering Reverend Thomas was such a good cook.
I wonder where he learned to-
"Michael?"
Did he ask me something?
"Huh?" I asked, looking up at him.
"Everything okay?" he asked.
No.
Nothing was okay.
My parents knew I was gay.
I didn't live at home where I was supposed to be living.
My mom hated me.
I still didn't know anything about Troy.
Evan hated me for some reason.
My ex boyfriend had cancer.
I was living with my gay reverend.
What about my life was supposed to be okay?
"Sure," I replied. "Why do you ask?"
Reverend Thomas swallowed some of his soup.
"I don't know, you just seem a little down lately," Reverend Thomas replied.
That statement actually had me chuckling.
Of course I was down!
Why wouldn't I be?
"I mean, besides the obvious, what else is going on?" Reverend Thomas asked.
As far as I knew, I could trust him.
He had obviously known about me being gay well before my parents and had kept it to himself.
He even extended an offer for me to come to talk to him about my problems.
The fact that he was gay should have just made it that much easier for me to want to talk to him.
But instead, something had been holding me back.
And now...now I had no clue as to what it was.
The reality was, as much as it sucked, this was my life now.
Reverend Thomas was, in every way that mattered, my family now.
I couldn't keep things from him anymore.
"It's Pete," I sighed, setting my spoon down.
Reverend Thomas wiped his mouth and set down his spoon as well in an effort to give me his undivided attention.
"He's going through some stuff," I replied.
"Really?"
"Yeah....I don't understand why he's going crazy."
"So this is a sudden thing then?" he asked.
I stared at him for a few seconds.
"Yeah," I replied. "I guess you could say that."
Reverend Thomas let out a sigh before setting his arms on the table in a more comfortable position.
"Well, teenagers do strange things," he replied.
Which I could attest to my running away days.
I knew that he was right.
"Pete's always been a good kid," Reverend Thomas replied. "Never one to shy away from meeting new people. Which is why I wasn't surprised when the two of you got involved."
"Really?" I asked.
"Yeah," Reverend Thomas replied. "I mean, Pete is a popular guy from what I can tell, but he has a good heart. He wouldn't hurt anyone."
Like he'd hurt me?
Obviously Reverend Thomas could only know so much about Pete, but it did seem to me like he could read a person easily enough.
"I can't imagine why he'd go....crazy, as you say," Reverend Thomas replied, picking up his bowl and standing up.
I realized that it was either now or never.
"He has cancer," I blurted out.
And after I'd said it, I almost felt ashamed.
Like I couldn't even look Reverend Thomas in the eyes anymore.
Reverend Thomas stopped and sat back down, slowly.
"Cancer...."
I didn't say anything but I just looked back up at him, slightly.
"I thought it was a bit odd that he showed up to church these past couple of weeks with that ski cap on," he replied.
Since it was really cold outside lately, I figured his parents didn't mind him keeping the ski cap on. After all, lots of people did as well.
But still, they had to know.
I mean....they HAD to know......
"His parent's haven't said anything to me about it..." Reverend Thomas spoke, sounding almost shocked.
"He told me a couple of weeks ago," I replied. "And ever since then he's been acting more and more strange. He didn't even come to school all week."
The only reason I knew he hadn't taken off somewhere was because I saw him everyday whenever Sienna, Max and I were visiting the kids.
"That is unusual," Reverend Thomas replied. "But you did see him when you went to the home, correct?"
"Yeah," I replied. "I don't know....maybe he's working through his pain."
"Maybe," Reverend Thomas replied looking over at me. "If you like, I could talk to him for you."
I looked up at him.
I wasn't sure if that was the best thing to do.
But I wasn't sure of a lot of things lately.
It wouldn't hurt.
"Alright," I replied.
I didn't know what else to say.
I just wanted Pete to be okay. And it was clear to see that he wasn't.
"Well, I should probably get this mess cleaned up," Reverend Thomas started, standing up again.
I stood up as well.
"I'll help," I replied.
For some reason, the thought of having Reverend Thomas talk to Pete was consoling.
It certainly did make me feel a lot better.
Maybe things would be okay after all.
"Sienna, I'm nervous," Charlotte whined.
Sienna bent down to look Charlotte in the face.
"Just think about what it's gonna feel like to beat those to uglyheads over there," she said, pointing over to Eric and Evan, preparing for something they'd planned.
"Okay," Charlotte replied.
"God, Sienna, what a fine mother you're gonna make someday," Troy spoke. "I mean, your values are spot on."
"Oh shut up, he so had this coming," Sienna replied.
"Almost like you don't even need me to be your little minion huh?" Troy grinned.
"A fake boyfriend is a fake boyfriend," Sienna replied.
"Or maybe you just can't handle being alone," Troy replied.
Sienna didn't reply to that one.
There were a lot of people here.
I wasn't expecting there to be this many people.
After all, this was just supposed to be a children's dance.
"Anybody seen Derek?" Max asked, running up to us.
"You lost him again?" I asked.
"For a six year old, the kid really is smart," Max replied.
"Well if we see any loud dirty kids eating paste, we'll give you a call," Troy spoke.
"Coming from the guy who hate's kids," Max spoke.
"I don't hate kids," Troy argued. "They just hate me."
Max didn't stick around after that, as he ran off to go look for Derek.
I was almost sad this was going to be all over.
After Christmas, we wouldn't have to volunteer anymore and they wouldn't need us to.
I was just starting to grow attached to Ryan.
"Where's you friend?" Ryan asked.
I looked down at him.
"Who?" I asked.
"Pete? He's not dead is he?"
I looked around.
"No Ryan....he's not dead," I replied.
I may not have been sure of much, but the one thing that I was sure of was that Pete was not going to die.
God wasn't that cruel.
Despite the fact that he'd kept secrets from me and had basically been going crazy, he was still a great person.
God wouldn't take him from us.
Especially now.
"Oh see look," I replied, pointing straight ahead. "There he is."
Sure enough, Pete was walking through the crowd with Glen and Glen's date in tow.
"That's good," Ryan replied. "I wouldn't want you to have to lose him like I lost my mom. That wouldn't be a very good Christmas present."
"No you're right Ryan," I replied. "It wouldn't be a good Christmas present at all."
I looked over at Pete who managed to catch my glance.
There was a moment there.
A moment I'm sure only the two of us realized was there.
But it was there.
And I almost melted right there.
It just made me realize that after all of this, I still loved Pete.
But I couldn't be with him.
Not right now.
When Glen pulled him away he was forced to break our gaze.
"Weirdo," Sienna mumbled. "You know I wonder if his parent's know about him going all Howard Hughes on us."
"He's just dealing with some stuff, Sienna," I replied. "Give him some time."
"A girl can find new best friends," Sienna replied.
Only I knew she wasn't serious.
She was just as concerned about Pete as I was.
"Well, were on," Sienna spoke. "Ready Charlotte?"
Charlotte looked over at Eric and Evan high fiving.
"Ready," She replied.
I was sure whatever they had planned would be nice.
But I couldn't really focus on them.
Not when Pete had cancer.
He just had to get better. There was no way I'd be able to handle anything worse.
"Our first suitor is a six foot two football player who enjoys picking on everyone around him and being the guy everyone hates. His name is Evan Parker!"
Cue audience.
"Our second suitor is a mysterious seventeen year old from Canada who after three months we know less about than we do the stranger next door. Troy Hamilton."
And audience.
"Our final suitor is a gorgeous seventeen year old baseball team captain with a great smile and great personality. Oh yeah and he could die on us at any second. Pete Reynolds!"
More audience.
"Okay, so, Mike...you ready to pick a suitor?"
Was I ready?
Before they all seemed like such bad choices.
But had I really been thinking clearly?
I had a second chance now.
I was ready to take it.
"I pick Pete!"
Max turned around.
"Well.....where'd he go?"
The audience was silent.
I stood up.
"Petey? Petey are you there man?" Max spoke.
Where did he go? Where was Pete?
"Pete....Pete!"
It was quiet when I opened my eyes.
Why did it seem like everything was quiet?
Was it...too quiet?
It took me a few moments but I finally remembered that it was Christmas day.
I always loved Christmas.
That was back when I was living at home, but still.
Christmas was Christmas.
Who didn't love Christmas?
I got out of bed and headed for the stairs.
I wasn't expecting a tree of gifts or anything like that.
But I still liked the feeling of the day.
When I got downstairs, I noticed something.
No breakfast cooking.
No cereal substitute.
No Reverend Thomas.
Where else would he be on Christmas morning?
I decided I'd figure that out later.
I had finally had my epiphany.
I realized that Pete was only acting crazy because he had no one there to support him.
He'd always been fine as long as I was by his side.
And then like a terrible boyfriend, I dumped him and treated him like shit when he needed me the most.
I had to call him.
I had to apologize.
I ran to the nearest phone and dialed his number.
As far as I was concerned, I couldn't call fast enough.
The phone rang, and rang, and rang again.
No one picked up.
Didn't matter, I dialed again.
Still no answer.
So I dialed again.
This time I got a voice I wasn't expecting.
"Hello?"
"Reverend Thomas?"
"Michael.....what..."
"Why are you over Pete's house?"
And....what was all that I heard in the background.
Was that...
Was that......crying?
"Michael-"
"Where's Pete?" I asked.
No answer.
"Hello?"
"Michael there's something you need to know-"
"Can you tell me later? I need to talk to Pete-"
"Michael-"
"I'll just call his cell phone-"
"Michael stop it!"
So I did.
Sheesh. He didn't have to be so rude.
"Pete's not.......he's gone Michael."
"Okay," I replied. "Like I said, I'll just try his-"
"He's dead Michael."
"What?"
Dead?
Dead?
No.....he......
But I just saw him......
I JUST SAW HIM!
I made up my mind.
I knew what I wanted to do.
I had a second chance.
A second chance!
"Hello?"
I dropped the phone from my ear and sank to the floor.
This was Cristmas.
Fucking Christmas!
Who didn't love Christmas?
I didn't love Christmas.
I hated fucking Christmas!
This......this wasn't a good gift at all!
"Hello? Michael are you there.....hello?"
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Personal email: crossingboi2004@yahoo.com
Copyright 2005